The Nasby papers :: :: University of Virginia Library

I am here, clad in the garb uv slaivry! Nasby, clothed in a bobtailed
bloo coat, a woolin shirt and bloo pants, with a Oysteran muskit
in his hands, a goin thro the exercise! Good hevings! wat a
spectacle!

The draft was over, and I thot that wunst more I'd visit my native
land. Gaily I stept abord the bote that was to carry me from British
shores—gaily I say, fer my money hed given out some weeks afore,
and I hed earned a precarious subsistence a sawin wood in pardnership
with a disgustin mulatto, and I lookt forwerd with goyful antisepashens
to the time when I shood agen embrace Looizer Jane, (the
pardner uv my buzzum,) and keep my skin perpetooally full uv the

elickser uv life, out uv her washin money. Goyfully I sprang off the
bote onto the wharf at Toledo, when a hevy hand was laid onto my
shoulder. Twas a soljer! The follerin conversashen ensood:

“Wat wantest thow, my jentle frend?”

“I want yoo, my gay Kanajen.”

“On wat grounds?” retortid I.

“On the ground uv eloodin uv the draft,” sez he.

“Yoor mistaken,” sez I, “I'm a ablishnist—a emissary. I hev bin
a spredin the bred uv life among the poor kulerd brethrin in Kanady,
and am jest returnin to run thro another lot. Let me pass I entreat
thee, nor stay me in my good work.” (This wuz strategy.)

“Not much,” sez he. “I know better. Yoor a butternut.”

“How knowst thou?” sez I.

“Yoor nose,” sez he. That bucheus beekun lite wuz never got
out uv spring water.”

“Yoor knowledge uv men and things is too much fer me. I confess
and surrender at discreshun—do with me ez thou wilt.”

And he did. I wuz led out to camp, and wuz allowd to volunteer
to fite against my convickshens—against my brethren, who hev taken
up arms in a rightous coz. So be it. Hentz4th the naim uv Nasby
will shine in the list uv marters.

Amid the dark, deep gloom that envellups me, wun ray uv light
strikes me. I hev seen the eleckshun returns, and wen I seed em I
yelled Hallelogy! Me and and another victim uv Linkin's tyranny,
who is a Dimekrat, (he wuz a postmaster under Bookannon, and wen
removed by Linkin dident give up the balance uv money he hed on
hand, fearin twood be used to subvert our free instooshns,) hed a jubilee.
We smuggled a bottle uv condenst ekstasy, and celebratid
muchly. “The North's redeemed!” showtid I. “Let the Eagle
screme!” yelled he. “The Quakers hev votid!” showtid I. “Ablishnism
dead!” screemd he. “Dimocrisy's triumphed!” laft I, and
so on, until after midnite, when, completely eggsaustid, we sank into
slumber, with a empty bottle atween us.

Petroleum V. Nasby.

P. S.—Tell Looizer Jane that I may never see her again—that shood

it be my fate 2 perish on the battle-feeld, amid the rore uv battle and
the horrors uv missellaneous carnage, my last thot, ez life ebbs slowly
away shel be uv her, and ask her ef she can't send me half or three-quarters
uv the money she gits fer washin, ez whisky costs fritefully
here. P. V. N.