University of Virginia Library

18. Chapter for Wives and Mothers.

YOU have found a husband, it is to be hoped, to your mind, and suited to you, and now the question is, What are you going to do with him or for him? In the first place, make him a pleasant cheerful, tidy home. Take good care of him. Particularly, take good care of his stomach, by supplying him with pure, wholesome food. If you can keep his digestion good, you can rely upon his keeping his temper, unless he is an extraordinarily ill-tempered man. Be careful always to treat him well, and demand that he should treat you well. Treat him respectfully, and insist that he shall treat you respectfully in return. Respect his rights of conscience, and require him to respect yours as well. Humor him a little; especially if you are in the right, and he in the wrong. You can afford to be generous and liberal if you have the right on your side, as you will certainly come out ahead in the long run.

Never allow your undoubted rights to be trampled upon without protest. What are married women's rights? we are asked. Some women imagine that when married, all their rights become subject to their husband's wishes. This is a mistake. Both human and divine laws recognize the fact that a woman possesses individual rights of which she cannot be deprived, even

by her husband. One of these is the right of conscience. No Woman is ever called upon to sacrifice the demands of conscience to the wishes of her husband.

Another right which every wife possesses, is the right to control her own person; that is, she is master of her own body, and is under no physical or moral obligation to submit to demands made upon her by her husband unless her own instincts lead in the same direction. Many other minor rights might be mentioned, but these are the most important, and perhaps the only ones concerning which any serious question is likely to arise.

The Young Mother. — One of the natural results of marriage is motherhood. This function has, however, in this perverted age, come to be looked upon as a burden, and by some, almost as a disgrace. There probably never was a time when paternity was avoided by every conceivable device as at the present time. Some of the numerous evils which grow out of the reluctance on the part of women to fulfill the most important function of womanhood, have been pointed out elsewhere in this work, and need not be recapitulated here.

Pregnancy. — The leading signs of pregnancy are as follows: —

1. Cessation of Menstruation. This is generally the first evidence of conception, and is usually reckoned as the beginning of the period of gestation, or pregnancy. It sometimes happens, however, that menstruation continues during the whole period of pregnancy.

2. Morning Sickness is a symptom which usually appears early in the second month, sometimes, even in the

first week. The patient experiences nausea just after rising in the morning, which is sometimes accompanied by vomiting.

3. Change in the Breasts. By the middle or end of the second month, the breasts begin to enlarge, becoming firmer to the touch, and also somewhat sensitive. The nipple becomes darker in color, and the ring around it, technically termed the areola, also acquires a deeper hue, and extends its circle. Little tubercules make their appearance upon the surface. At this period, dark spots, closely resembling liver spots, make their appearance upon the face and hands. These differ from liver spots in that they usually disappear very speedily after childbirth.

4. Increase in the size of the womb. By the end of the second month, the womb acquires sufficient increase in size to cause it to settle down into the pelvis, in consequence of which the abdomen acquires an unnatural flatness characteristic of this condition.

5. Beating of the fœtal heart. Between the third and fourth months, the fœtus has attained sufficient growth to enable the experienced observer to hear the beating of the heart. This is the first sign of pregnancy. The beating of the fœtal heart is to be distinguished from that of the mother by its frequency, which is usually about one hundred and thirty or one hundred and fifty beats per minute.

6. Quickening. This term is usually applied to the first feeling of the movements of the child by the mother. They may be felt any time by a quick tap on the abdomen.

7. Continued enlargement of the fœtus takes place from its rapid growth at this time.

8. Near the termination of pregnancy, the uterus becomes so greatly enlarged that severe pressure is made upon the stomach: which occasions a return of the nausea and vomiting.

9. Leucorrhœa. During the last few weeks of pregnancy, the congested state of the blood-vessels of the vagina occasions a leucorrhœal discharge.

10. Settling of the womb. At the termination of the pregnancy, just prior to childbirth, the womb again settles down into the pelvis, causing a change in the shape of the abdomen.

The Curse Removed. — Most women look forward to the period of childbirth with great apprehension and anxiety, in consequence of the great suffering which must be endured, and the no small peril to life and health which are involved. Quite an extensive observation has convinced us, however, that a large share of the suffering and danger may be obviated by careful preparation for the event. The following suggestions are particularly important: —

1. The diet should consist chiefly of fruits, grains, and milk. The practice of drinking one or two glasses of very warm water an hour before each meal, is an excellent measure of preventing disease of the kidneys. Tea and coffee should be discarded, as they cause a decided increase of the tendency to morning sickness, besides producing nervous irritability. Stimulants and condiments of all sorts should be scrupulously avoided. The avoidance of oatmeal and other grains which furnish a large amount of bone-making material, is a doctrine without scientific foundation, as we have elsewhere shown at some length.

2. An abundance of vigorous muscular exercise should be taken daily. All the muscles of the body should be exercised, particularly those of the abdomen. By these means some of the most troublesome complications of labor may be avoided, and the birth made easy. Among the leading causes of painful childbirth, are sedentary habits. The mother should take regular exercise, even up to the last day. Walking is an excellent form of exercise; and when this can be supplemented by massage, and particularly by careful kneading of the abdominal muscles, very great advantage may be gained.

3. Tight-lacing, the suspending of heavy skirts from the waist, and other errors in dress, are so patently evil that we scarcely need take space to condemn them. Yet some women will even insist on wearing corsets during pregnancy, for the purpose of preserving their form. This is so wicked and pernicious a practice that in our opinion it ought to be prohibited by law.

4. Baths of various sorts are of immense advantage in securing easy childbirth. A general bath should be taken at least twice a week. A warm vaginal injection should be taken daily. The temperature of the water should be 95° to 100°. A little fine castile soap should be used to secure perfect cleanliness of the parts. By this means the troublesome leucorrhœal discharge, and the annoying itching which frequently attends it, may usually be wholly controlled, if not entirely prevented. A sitz bath taken during the early months once or twice a week, and during the last two or three months daily, or every other day, is very beneficial. The temperature of the bath should be from 90° to 94°, and should be continued twenty or thirty minutes. In

taking the bath, great care should be exercised not to produce any shock to the patient by the sudden application of either very hot or very cold water.

A Hayti Mother. — The freedom from pain in childbirth enjoyed by barbarous nations, is to the civilized woman a matter of wonder and amazement. The same immunity from suffering is enjoyed by negro women, and by those of various other nations. A friend of the writer, an old sea captain, recently related in substance the following incident: —

While living at Hayti a few years ago, as he was driving one morning, he passed his washer-woman, who with a huge basket of soiled clothes on her head, was walking two or three miles into the country to a little lake, which she used for a wash-tub in her laundry operations. On returning in the evening over the same route, he again passed the woman, returning with her basket filled with spotless linen, carrying a new-born babe in her arms. It was evident that she had not allowed the small incident of a childbirth to interfere with the regular business of the day.

We would not attempt to maintain that all women can bear children as easily as the Hayti washer-woman, even if most careful attention is given to all the rules of health. Among the most highly civilized nations, especially the Caucasian race, the neglect of physical culture has produced disproportionate development between the head and other portions of the body, which is unquestionably one cause of suffering at childbirth, and cannot be wholly obviated by any attention to general or special hygiene; but that the sufferings of childbirth are greatly mitigated, and in many cases almost wholly

prevented, we are positively assured by experience with scores of women who have faithfully carried out the simple suggestions made in this and other works in which we have presented this important subject.

Ante-Natal Influences. — There can be no manner of doubt that many circumstances which it is entirely within the power of the parents to supply, exert a powerful influence in molding both the mental and the physical characteristics of offspring. By carefully availing himself of the controlling power given him by a knowledge of this fact, the stock-raiser is enabled to produce almost any required quality in his young animals. Pigeon fanciers show wonderful skill in thus producing most curious modifications in birds. The laws of heredity and development are carefully studied and applied in the production of superior horses, cows, dogs, and pigeons; but an application of the same principles to the improvement of the human race is rarely thought of. Human beings are generated in as hap-hazard and reckless a manner as weeds are sown by the wind. No account is taken of the possible influence which may be exerted upon the future destiny of the new being by the physical or mental condition of parents at the moment when the germ of life is planted, or by the mental and physical conditions and surroundings of the mother while the young life is developing. Indeed, the assertion of a modern writer that the poor of our great cities virtually "spawn" children, with as little thought of influences and consequences as the fish that sow their eggs broadcast upon the waters, is not so great an exaggeration as it might at first sight appear to be.

Law Universal. — Men and women are constantly

prone to forget that the domain of law is universal. Nothing comes by chance. The revolutions of the planets, studied by the aid of the telescope; and the gyrations of the atoms, seen only by the eye of science, are alike examples of the controlling influence of law. Notwithstanding this sad ignorance and the disregard of this vitally important subject, the effects of law are only too clearly manifested in the crowds of wretched human beings with which the world is thronged. An old writer sagely remarks, "It is the greatest part of human felicity to be well born;" nevertheless, it is the sad misfortune of by far the greater portion of humanity to be deprived of this inestimable "felicity."

A Source of Crime. — Who can tell how many of the liars, thieves, drunkards, murderers, and prostitutes of our day are less responsible for their crimes against themselves, against society, and against Heaven, than those who were instrumental in bringing them into the world? Almost every village has its boy "who was born drunk," a staggering, simpering, idiotic representative of a drunken father, beastly intoxicated at the very moment when he should have been most sober.

An interesting study of this question has recently been made by Mr. Dugdale, a member of the Prison Association of the State of New York. When visiting the various jails of the State, he found in one six persons detained for crimes of various character, between all of whom there was a family relation. Upon further inquiry, he found that of the same family there were twenty-nine relatives in the vicinity, seventeen of whom were criminals. Still further investigation developed the following facts:

A Bad Family. — Within seventy-five years, a family of 1200 persons have sprung from five sisters, several of whom were illegitimate, and three of whom were known to be unchaste, and who married men whose father was an idle, thriftless hunter, a hard drinker, and licentious.

Of this family, the history of about 709 was traced. Of these, the facts set forth in the following incomplete summary were found to be true: —

Paupers,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 280

Years of pauperism, . . . . . . . . . . . . 798

Criminals,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 140

Years of infamy,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 750

Thieves,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .60

Murderers,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

Prostitutes and adulteresses, . . . . . . . 165

Illegitimate children,. . . . . . . . . . . .91

No. of persons contaminated by syphilitic disease, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 480

Cost to the State in various ways,. .$1,308,000

Without doubt, a complete summary would make this showing still more appalling, since of the 709 whose histories were traced, it was in many instances impossible to determine whether the individuals were guilty of crime or unchastity or not, even where there were grounds for suspicion. Such cases were not included in the summary.

No amount of argument on this question could be so conclusive as are these simple facts concerning the "Juke" family. It is certainly high time that our legislators began to awaken to this subject, and consider whether it would be an unprofitable experiment to make some attempt to prevent the multiplication of criminals in this manner. We are not prepared to offer

a plan for securing an end; but it is very clearly important that something should be done in this direction.

A Physiological Fact. — It is an established physiological fact that the character of offspring is influenced by the mental as well as the physical conditions of the parents at the moment of the performance of the generative act. In view of this fact, how many parents can regard the precocious, or even mature, manifestations of sexual depravity in their children without painful smitings of conscience at seeing the legitimate results of their own sensuality? By debasing the reproductive function to an act of selfish animal indulgence, they imprinted upon their children an almost irresistible tendency to vice. Viewing the matter from this standpoint, what wonder that licentiousness is rife! that true chastity is among the rarest of virtues!

Prof. O. W. Holmes remarks on this subject: "There are people who think that everything may be done if the doctor, be he educator or physician, be only called in season. No doubt; but in season would often be a hundred or two years before the child was born, and people never send so early as that." "Each of us is only the footing up of a double column of figures that goes back to the first pair. Every unit tells, and some of them are plus and some minus. If the columns do n't add up right, it is commonly because we can't make out all of the figures."

It cannot be doubted that the throngs of deaf, blind, crippled, idiotic unfortunates who were "born so," together with a still larger class of dwarfed, diseased, and constitutionally weak individuals, are the lamentable

results of the violation of some sexual law on the part of their progenitors.

Something for Parents to Consider. — If parents would stop a moment to consider the momentous responsibilities involved in the act of bringing into existence a human being; if they would reflect that the qualities imparted to the new being will affect its character to all eternity; if they would recall the fact that they are about to bring into existence a mirror in which will be reflected their own characters divested of all the flimsy fabrics which deceive their fellow-men, revealing even the secret imaginings of their hearts, there would surely be far less of sin, disease, and misery born into the world than at the present day; but we dare not hope for such a reform. To effect it would require such a revolution in the customs of society, such a radical reform in the habits and characters of individuals, as could be done by nothing short of a temporal millennium.

It is quite probable that some writers have greatly exaggerated the possible results which may be attained by proper attention to the laws under consideration. All cannot be equally beautiful; every child cannot be a genius; the influence of six thousand years of transgression cannot be effaced in a single generation; but persevering, conscientious efforts to comply with every requirement of health, purity, morality, and the laws of nature, will accomplish wonders in securing healthy children with good dispositions, brilliant intellects, and beautiful bodies.

This is not the proper place to describe in detail a plan to be pursued; but the few hints given, if rightly

appreciated, may enable those interested in the subject to plan for themselves a proper course. In concluding the subject, we may summarize its chief points as follows, for the purpose of impressing them more fully upon the mind: —

The Origin of Evil. — 1. If a child is begotten in lust, its lower passions will as certainly be abnormally developed as peas will produce peas, or potatoes produce potatoes. If the child does not become a rake or a prostitute, it will be because of uncommonly fortunate surroundings, or a miracle of divine grace. But even then, what terrible struggles with sin and vice, with foul thoughts and lewd imaginations, — the product of a naturally abnormal mind, — must such an individual suffer! If he is unsuccessful in the conflict, is he alone to blame? Society, his fellow-men, will censure him alone; but He who knoweth all the secrets of human life, will pass a more lenient judgment on the erring one, and mete out punishment where it most belongs.

2. The same remarks apply with equal force to the transmission of other qualities. If the interest of the parents is only for self, with no thought for the well-being of the one whose destiny is in their hands, they can expect naught but a selfish character, a sordid, greedy disposition, in the child.

3. The influence of the father is, at the outset, as great as that of the mother. The unhappy or immoral thoughts of one alone at the critical moment when life is imparted, may fix for eternity a foul blot upon the character yet unformed.

4. If during gestation the mother is fretful, complaining and exacting; if she requires to be petted and

waited upon; if she gratifies every idle whim and indulges every depraved desire and perverted appetite, as thousands of mothers do, — the result will surely be a peevish, fretful child, that will develop into a morose and irritable man or woman, imperious, unthankful, disobedient, willful, gluttonous, and vicious.

How to Beget Sound Children. — If such undesirable results would be avoided, the following suggestions should be regarded: —

1. For the beginning of a new life, select the most favorable time, which will be when the bodily health is at its hight; when the mind is free from care and anxiety; when the heart is joyous, cheerful, and filled with hope, love, high aspirations, pure and beautiful thoughts. If, as one writer says, it is the duty of every human pair engaging in the reproductive act, to bring into existence the most perfect specimen of the race of which they are capable, then it becomes a monstrous crime to enter into relations which may produce a contrary result. This may be a truth hard to accept, but who is prepared to dispute it on logical or moral grounds?

2. If a child has been properly conceived, the duty then devolves upon the mother to secure its proper development. Is beauty desired, let the mother be surrounded with beautiful objects; and let her mind dwell upon such objects. If an active mind and brilliant intellect are required, the mother should devote considerable time to study and mental labor of a pleasant nature. The moral nature should be carefully cultivated, to insure a lovely disposition. No angry words or unhappy feelings should be tolerated. Purity of heart and life should be maintained. The husband

should do his part by supplying favorable surroundings, suggesting cheerful thoughts, and aiding mental culture.

3. After birth, the mother still possesses a molding influence upon the development of her child through the lacteal secretion. Every mother knows how speedily the child will suffer if nursed when she is exhausted by physical labor or when suffering from nervous excitement, as anger or grief. These facts show the influence which the mental states of the mother exert upon the child, even when the act of nursing is the only physical bond between them.

It would be a happy day for the race which should witness the recognition of the fact that infants, even human beings in embryo, possess rights which are as sacred as those of adult human beings.

This whole subject is more fully treated by the author in special works, full information concerning which can be obtained by those wishing to know more on this subject, by addressing him personally.