 | Comedy of Errors |  |
21
Enter ANTIPHOLIS of Epheus, DROMIO of Epheus, ANGELO and BALTHASAR
An. of Eph.
Good Signor Angelo, you must excuse us;
My wife is shrewish, when I keep not hours.
Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop,
To see the making of her bracket,
And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
But here's a villain, that would face me down
He met me on the mart, and that I beat him,
And charged him with a thousand marks in gold,
And that I did deny my wife and house. -
Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?
Dr. of Eph.
Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know.
That you beat me at the mart, I have the marks to witness.
An. of Eph.
Silence, thou sot, or I shal sober thee! -
You're sad, Signor Balthasar; pray Heaven our cheer may answer
my good-will, and your good welcome. -But soft my door
is lock'd -Sirrah, ring the bell.
Dr. of Eph.
Oh, he's a little soberer, and he does know his
own house now.
Rings.
An. of Eph.
Will they not hear?
Dr. of Eph.
In good truth, I think they will not.-My mistress,
sure, means to be quits with you, master -you denied her
a while ago, and now she's determined to deny you.
An. of Eph.
Have done, thou varlet. Call to them, bid them
let us in.
Dr. of Eph.
Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Madge!
Within.
Dr. of Syr.
Mome, Malt-horse, Capon, Coxcomb,
Ideot, Patch! -Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st
for such store, when one is one to many. -Go get thee from the
gate!
22
Dr. of Eph.
What patch is made our porter? -My master stays
in the street.
Within.
Dr. of Syr.
Let him walk from whence he came,
lest he catch cold in his feet.
An. of Eph.
Who talks within there? -Hoa, open the door.
Within.
Dr. of Syr.
Right, Sir, -I'll tell you when, an you'll
tell me wherefore.
An. of Eph.
What art thou, there, that keep'st me from mine
own house?
Within.
Dr. of Syr.
The porter, sir, and my name is Dromio.
Dr. of Eph.
O, villain, thou hast stole both mine office and my
name.
Within.
Bridget.
Why, what a coil is there; -Dromio, who
are those at the door?
Dr. of Eph.
Let my master in, Bridget.
Within.
Bridget.
Peace, fool! thy master's here already.
An. of Eph.
Do you hear, you minion, you'll let us in, I trow?
Within.
Bridget.
Can you tell for whose sake?
Dr of Eph.
Master, knock at the door hard.
Within.
Dr. of Syr.
Let him knock till it ake.
Within.
Adriana.
Who is at the gate, that keeps all this
noise?
An. of Eph.
Are you there, wife? -you might have come before.
Within.
Ad.
Your wife, sir knave! -Go, get you from the
gate.
An. of Eph.
Get from the gate? -What means this saucy language?
There's something more in this! -Why, Adriana!
Within.
Ad.
Hence, you familiar coxcomb! Cease your
noise.
Or you shall dearly pay for all this outrage. -
Dromio, be sure you keep fast the doors against 'em.
An. of Eph.
Why, wife, I say.-
Within.
Dr. of Syr.
She's gone back to dinner, sir, to take a
refreshing cup, and has no time to answer idle questions now.
An. of Eph.
Now, on my soul, some strange mysterious guile,
Lurks underneath this unaccustom'd usage.
Some shameful minion here is entertain'd -
Shall I be thus shut forth from my own house,
While they are revelling to my dishonour?
Go, fetch an instrument -I'll break the door,
Shatter it all to pieces, but I'll enter.
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Bal.
Have patience, sir -O, let it not be thus,
Herein you war against your reputation,
And draw within the compass of suspect
Th'inviolated honour of your wife.
Your long experience of her wisdom, sir,
Her sober virtue, years, and modesty,
Plead, on her part, some cause to you unknown;
And, doubt it not, but she will well excuse
Why, at this time, the doors are barr'd against you.
Angelo.
Be rul'd by me -depart in patience,
And let us to the Tyger all to dinner;
And, about evening, come yourself alone,
To know the reason of this strange restraint.
If by strong hand you offer to break in,
Now, in the stirring passage of the day,
A vulgar comment will be made of it;
And that supposed, by the common rout,
Against your yet ungalled estimation,
That may with foul intrusion enter in,
And dwell upon your grave when you are dead.
For slander lives ev'n to posterity,
For ever hous'd when once it gets possession.
An. of Eph.
You have prevail'd -I will depart in quiet,
And in despite of wrath, try to be merry.
I know a wench of excellent disourse,
Pretty and witty -wild, and yet right gentle;
There will we dine -This woman that I mean,
My wife (but, I protest without desert)
Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal.
To her will we to dinner. Get you home,
And fetch the jewel -by this I guess 'tis made —
Bring it, I pray you, to the Porcupine,
For there's the house, and there will i bestow it,
(Be it for nothing but to spite my wife)
Upon mine hostess. Good sir, use dispatch.
Angelo.
I'll meet you at that place some hour, sir, hence.
Exit.
An. of Eph.
I thank you, sir. -And now, my dainty wife,
Checking my rage, I'll leave you to your follies
Some few short hours; enjoy them while you may,
Perchance to-morrow you may rue your jest.
Exeunt.
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ANTIPHOLIS of Syracuse, ADRIANA, LUCIANA, and HERMIA discovered.
Ad.
Why. why was I to this keen mock'ry born?
How at your hands have I deserv'd this coldness?
In sooth, you do me wrong. — There was a time
When I believ'd (so fond was my credulity)
The sun was scarce so true unto the day,
As you to me.
An. of Syr.
I would some friendly light
Might chase away the mist that clouds our fancies,
And give this dream a meaning! — True, I see,
These beauteous bowers, in nature's fragrance rich;
Behold the painted children of her hand,
Flaunting in gay luxuriance all around.
I see imperial Phoebus' trembling beam
Dance on the curly brook; whose gentle current
Glides imperceptibly away, scarce staying
To kiss th' embracing bank.
Ad.
So glides away
Thy hasty love -(O, apt allusion!)
And mocks my constant and attentive care,
That seeks in vain to keep it.
Luc.
Dearest brother,
Why turn on me your eyes? -regard my sister,
Who with such earnest suit solicits you
To heal her wounded peace.
Ad.
It cannot be
But that some phrenzy hath possest his mind,
Else could he not with cold indifference hear
His Adriana pleading -Music's voice
O'er such entranced dispositions
Hath oft' a magic power, and can recall
The wand'ring faculties. Good cousin Hermia,
Assay those melting strains, wherewith, thou told'st me,
Forsaken Julia labour'd to retrieve
Lysander's truant heart.
25
Stray not to those distant plains,
From thy comfort do not rove,
Tary in these peaceful glens,
Tread the downy paths of love:
Is not this sequester'd shade
Richer than the proud alcove?
Tarry in this beauteous glade,
Tarry here with me and love.
Listen to the woodlark's note,
Listen to the cooing dove,
Hark! the throstle's mellow throat,
All uniting, carrol love:
See the limpid brooks around,
Winding through the varied grove;
This is passion's fairy ground,
Tarry here with me and love.
Ad.
Sister, there is some magic in thine eye
That hath infected his -Perchance to thee
He may unfold the source of his distemp'rature:
For me, no longer will I sue for that
My right may claim; loose infidelity
And lawless passion hath estrang'd his soul.
Yet thinnk, my husband, could'st thou bear the like?
How dearly would it touch thee to the quick,
Should'st thou but hear I were licentious!
Would'st thou not scoff at me, and spurn me from thee?
Or hurl the name of husband in my face,
And tear the stain'd skin off my harlot brow?
Yea, from my false hand cut the wedding ring,
And break it with a deep divorcing vow?
I know thou would'st, and therefore fee thou do it;
For if we two be one, and thou play false,
I do digest the poison of thy crimes.
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Keep me unstain'd, thou undishonour'd live.
Exit with Her.
Luc.
And may it be, that you have quite forgot
A husband's office? Shall Antipholis
Ev'n in the spring of love, thy love passion fade?,
If you did wed my sister for her wealth,
Then for her wealth's sake, use her with more kindness;
Or, if you like elsewhere, do it in secret;
Let not my sister read it in your eye,
Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator;
Look sweet, Speak fair, become disloyalty,
Apparel vice like virtue's harbinger. -
An. of Syr.
Now by the air we breathe, I vow, bright dame,
My senses are all smother'd up in wonder;
All but my sight -with that, methinks I view
An angel pleading; -and, while thus delighted,
I may peruse the graces of that brow,
I will not with the mystery unfolded,
But to your chidings pay submissive awe,
As to an holy mandate. -Speak, speak on.
Luc.
Be secret false -why need she be acquainted?
What simple thief brags on his own bad deeds?
'Tis double wrong to truant with your bed,
And let her read it in your looks at board.
Ill deeds are doubled by an evil word.
'Alas poor women! -make us but believe
'(Being compast of credit) that you love,
'We in your motions turn, are led by you,
And easily accord wo what we wish.'
Then, gentle brother, get you in again:
And call my sister, wife -comfort her -cheer her -
'Tis holy sport to be a little false,
When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.
An of Syr.
Sweet mistress, let me call you by that name,
Teach me, oh teach me how to think, and answer;
Lay open to my shallow gross conceit,
The folded meaning of your sugar'd words.
Against my soul's pure truth, why labour you,
To make it wander in an unknown path?
Are you a goddess? Would you new create me?
Transform me then, and to your power I'll yield.
But if I am Antiphlis, I swear
Your weeping sister is no wife to me. -
O, no! to you alone my soul inclines;
27
To drown me in thy sister's Flood of Tears!
Sing, syren, for thyself and I will doat! kneels.
Spread o'er the silver waves thy glossy locks,
And as a bed I'll take thee, there I'll lie,
And, in that glorious supposition, think
He gains by death that hath such means to die.
Luc.
What, are you mad, that you do reason thus?
An. of Syr.
Not mad, — enchanted; how do I not know.
Luc.
It is a fault that springeth from your eye.
An of Syr.
For gazing on your dazling beams, fair sun.
Luc.
Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight.
An. of Syr.
As good to wink, sweet love, as look on darkness.
Luc.
Why call you me love? call my sister so.
An. of Syr.
Thy sister's sister.
Luc.
That's my sister.
An. of Syr.
No;
It is thy self, my own self's better half,
My eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer heart,
My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope's aim.
Luc.
All this my sister is, or else should be.
An. of Syr.
Call thyself sister, sweet, for thee I mean:
Thee will I love, with thee would spend my days. -
Give me thy hand.
Luc.
Oh soft, sir, hold you still.
I'll seek my sister, to get her consent;
If she approve, I shall accord, no doubt.
Exit
An. of Syr.
O subtle power! O soil too capable!
Scarse had her sun of beauty warm'd my heart,
When the gay flower of love, disclosing fragrance,
Sprung up at once, and blossom'd to perfection,
Ere well the bud was seen. -Why, how now, Dromio?
Enter DROMIO of Syracuse
Where run'st thou so fast?
Dr. of Syr.
Do you know me, sir? Am I Dromio? Am I your
man? Am I myself?
An. of Syr.
Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.
Dr. of Syr.
I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and beside myself.
An. of Syr.
What woman's man? and how beside thyself?
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Dr. of Syr.
Marry sir, beside myself, I am due to a woman;
one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.
An of Syr.
What claim lays she to thee?
Dr. of Syr.
Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay to your
horse.
An. of Syr.
What is she?
Dr. of Syr.
A very reverend body; and though I have but
lean luck in the match, yet she is a wondrous fat marriage -
Sir, she is the kitchen wench, all grease, and I know not what
use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her
by her own light.
An. of Syr.
I'll warrant the rags, and the tallow in them, will
burn a Poland winter.
Dr.of Syr.
They would indeed, sir. -To conclude; this
drudge laid claim to me, called me Dromio, swore I was betrothed
to her, told me what secret marks I had about me; as the marks
on my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left
arm, that I, amaz'd, ran from her, as a witch -and I think, if
my breast had been not made of faith, and my heart of steel, she
would have transform'd me to a curtal dog, and made me turn
in the wheel.
An. of Syr.
Sure, none but witches can inhabit here,
And therefore 'tis high time that we were hence.
Go, hie thee presently, post to the road,
And if the wind blow any way from shore,
I will not harbour in this town tonight.
If any bark put forth, come to the mart,
Where I will walk 'till thou return to me.
Exit.
Dr, of Syr.
As from a bear a man would run for life.
So I from her that swears she is my wife.
Exit.
The street.
Re-enter ANTIPHOLIS of Syracuse from ANTIPHOLIS of Ephesus' House, meeting ANGELO with a bracelet.
Angelo
Master Antipholus!
An. of Syr.
Ay, that's my name.
Angelo.
I know it well, sir. -Lo here is the bracelet;
I thought to have ta'en you at the Porcupine,
It being unfinish'd, made my stay thus long.
An. of Syr.
What is your will that I should do with this?
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Angelo.
Ev'n what you please, sir, -I have made it for you.
An. of Syr.
Made it for me, sir! I never once bespoke it.
Angelo.
Not once, not twice, but twenty times you have.
Go home with it and please your wife withal.
About your supper time I'll visit you,
And then recieve my money for the bracelet.
An. of Syr.
I pray you, sir, since you will force it on me,
Receive the money now,
For fear you ne'er see that or jewel more.
Angelo.
You are a merry man, sir -fare you well.
Exit.
An. of Syr.
Wonder on wonder rises every moment!
What I should think of this I cannot tell;
However strange, here on my arm I'll wear it
Preserve it safe, as fortune's happy pledge.
Oft' as it strikes my eye, I'll heave a sigh,
And say, the self-same hour that gave thee to me,
Gave me to gaze on Luciana's eyes -
So will I make a profit of a chance,
And treasure up a comfort in affliction.
Unwillingly I go -my wounded soul,
(Howe'er from Ephesus my body part)
Lingers behind in Luciana's heart.
Exit.
| Comedy of Errors | |