§ 85
Peter went out from this conference a sober man, realizing for the
first time his responsibilities as a voter, and a shepherd to other
voters. Peter agreed with Gladys that his views had been too narrow; his
conception of the duties of a secret agent had been of the pre-war
order. Now he must realize that the world was changed; now, in this new
world made safe for democracy, the secret agent was the real ruler of
society, the real master of affairs, the trustee, as it were, for
civilization. Peter and his wife
must take up this new role and make themselves fit for it. They ought
of course not be moved by personal considerations, but at the same time
they must recognize the fact that this higher role would be of great
advantage to them; it would enable them to move up in the world, to meet
the best people. Thru five or six years of her young life Gladys had sat
polishing the fingernails and fondling the soft white hands of the
genteel; and always a fire of determination had burnt in her breast,
that some day she would belong to this world of gentility, she would
meet these people, not as an employee, but as an equal, she would not
merely hold their hands, but would have them hold hers.
Now the chance had come. She had a little talk with Guffey, and
Guffey said it would be a good idea, and he would speak to Billy Nash,
the secretary of the "Improve America League"; and he did so, and next
week the American City "Times" announced that on the following Sunday
evening the Men's Bible Class of the Bethlehem Church would have an
interesting meeting. It would be addressed by an "under cover" operative
of the government, a former Red who had been for many years a most
dangerous agitator, but had seen the error of his ways, and had made
amends by giving his services to the government in the recent I. W. W.
trials.
The Bethlehem Church didn't amount to very much, it
was an obscure sect like the Holy Rollers; but Gladys had
been shrewd, and had insisted that you mustn't try to climb
to the top of the mountain in one step. Peter must first
"try it on the dog," and if he failed, there would be no
great harm done.
But Gladys worked just as hard to make a success of
this lecture as if they had been going into real society. She spent
several days getting up her costume and Peter's, and she spent a whole
day getting her toilet ready, and before they set out she spent at least
an hour putting the finishing touches upon herself in front of a mirror,
and seeing that Peter was proper in every detail. When Mr. Nash
introduced her personally to the Rev. Zebediah Muggins, and when this
apostle of the second advent came out upon the platform and introduced
her husband to the crowded working-class audience, Gladys was so
a-quiver with delight that it was more a pain than a pleasure.
Peter did not do perfectly, of course. He lost himself a few
times, and stammered and floundered about; but he remembered Glady's
advice — if he got stuck, to smile and explain that he had never spoken
in public before. So everything went along nicely, and everybody in the
Men's Bible Class was aghast at the incredible revelations of this
ex-Red and secret agent of law and order. So next week Peter was invited
again — this time by the Young Saints' League; and when he had made good
there, he was drafted by the Ad. Men's Association, and then by the
Crackers and Cheese Club. By this time he had acquired what Gladys
called "savwaa fair"; his fame spread rapidly, and at last came the
supreme hour — he was summoned to Park Avenue to address the members of
the Friendly Society, a parish organization of the Church of the Divine
Compassion!
This was the goal upon which the eyes of Gladys had
been fixed. This was the time that really counted, and
Peter was groomed and rehearsed all over again. Their
home was only a few blocks from the church, but Gladys
insisted that they must positively arrive in a taxi-cab, and
when they entered the Parish Hall and the Rev. de Willoughby
Stotterbridge, that exquisite almost-English gentleman,
came up and shook hands with them, Gladys knew
that she had at last arrived. The clergyman himself escorted
her to the platform, and after he had introduced
Peter, he seated himself beside her, thus definitely putting
a seal upon her social position.
Peter, having learned his lecture by heart, having found out just
what brought laughter and what brought tears and what brought patriotic
applause, was now an assured success. After the lecture he answered
questions, and two clerks in the employ of Billy Nash passed around
membership cards of the "Improve America League," membership dues five
dollars a year, sustaining membership twenty-five dollars a year, life
membership two hundred dollars cash. Peter was shaken hands with by
members of the most exclusive social set in American City, and told by
them all to keep it up — his country needed him. Next morning there was
an account of his lecture in the "Times," and the morning after there
was an editorial about his revelations, with the moral: "Join the
Improve America League."
