University of Virginia Library

Scene II

DEVIL
A very decent, tolerable task—
Outwit a woman—that were difficult;
Place in one scale my graceless Devilship—
Her ladyship in t'other—weigh us both,
I do much fear me lest her ladyship
Untwist my meshes, foil my purposes
And by her subtile intricacy of wit
Mislead my choicest, noblest, nicest guile.
The very fuscous and embrownéd cheek
Of his Satanick Majesty might blanch
Before a woman's art. O Styx and Acheron!
What deprecations, amulets and charms,
What exorcisms, crossings and bead countings,
What Ave-Maries will be play'd against me!
I value not your amulets and charms
The twentieth part of half a rotten murphy
Or a split pea, albeit I do confess me
I'm apt to turn tail on an Ave-Mary,
And quail a little at a Pater-Noster,
Except when it's said backwards. I remember me
When I was summon'd up by this same Magus
And unto this same office ('twas the dead
Of a most chilly winter) that I lit
I' th'grey o' th'morning on a blue nos'd Monk
And pluck'd him by the beard, whereat he shrunk
In all his sinews like a sensitive plant
And chatter'd from the bottom of his cowl
“Apage Sathanas iniquissime!”
Whereat I tripp'd him up and laid him prone
Holding close conference with his Mother Earth
About the damage of his splinter'd nose,
And having punch'd him fundamentally
With my strong hooves, I left him bruised and battered
As a beefsteak.