University of Virginia Library

Scene II

Enter Antonio
ANTONIO
Ye gracious Heav'ns
Is't Amoret, the rosebud of whose cheeks
Is preferable to a suit at Law
Successfully unravell'd—the rich sound
Of whose harmonious and most silver voice
Steals sweeter on mine ear than does the chink
Of golden or of silver boys wrung out
From the hard client's gripe—whose delicate smile
Is worth a ten day's fee? So! here I come
To pay my devoirs at the shrine of beauty.
For this, as soon as e'er the deep-mouth'd voice
Of the most lonely tempest ceas'd to shake
Heaven's pillars of the solid earth, I paced
This wild and marshy wood; for this have burrs
Clung to me as thou seest, more in number
Than cases in the Court of Common Pleas;
For this the drizzly trees and dripping shrubs
Shower'd on me as I hurried past, more thickly
Than diamonds on a birthnight.

DEVIL
(speaking in an undertone)
Gentle Sir,
You overrate yourself. True love had scorn'd
The petty hindrances of wind and weather—
Gods! why a lover is all heat and fire,
A mustard pot, a very pepper-box,
And his internal warmth of temperament
Might guard him from external cold—Ay! though
Thou had'st bolted thro' the very teeth o' the storm
Bareheaded, every gusty drop of Heav'n
Had run off hissing from thy glowing surface,
As from a bar of red hot iron. Believe me,
If thou wert a true lover, wind and rain
Would have no power on thee. 'Twas never known
That one who lov'd most ardently and truly
Was ever laid up for a single se'nnight
With a red nose.

ANTONIO
Now on mine honour—

DEVIL
Prithee,
If thou desirest ought of credit with me,
Most commendable and good Antonio,
Swear not upon thine honour! It is rare
With those of thy most honourable cut,
As is the desert fire-born biped sprung
From its own ashes. If thou swearest, swear
By that thou lovest best.

ANTONIO
Then by my fees—

DEVIL
Ay—there the right nail's struck upon the head.

ANTONIO
Or by thy dearer self—

DEVIL
Now, prithee, lie not,
Keep thy first oath—thy fees are dearer to thee.

ANTONIO
Well, by my fees (that I may honour thee
And put an end to dissertation)
I know a most true lover Leontio,
That hath a nose as red as a skinned eel
Or pickled cabbage steeped in vinegar,
And flaming as a scarlet mailed lobster,
Although he hath a lady in his head.

DEVIL
Then it proceedeth from the warmth within,
Not from the cold without.

ANTONIO
How prove you that,
Fair Amoret? the case is clearly mine,
Let A be then the heart and B the nose,
True love is centre'd in the heart. What then?
It follows that the heat's in A the heart
And not in B in the nose—PROBATUM EST.

DEVIL
Good Sir, the case is this—the lover's heart
Is so o'ercharged with the secret flames
That do consume its melancholy core,
That all the superfluity of love,
And the redundant heat, escaping thence,
Take up their station in the lover's nose
Which thence doth show like beetroot.

ANTONIO
SATIS EST;
A truce to dissertation. Let us use
More soft discussion, gentle paramour.
Gaze all around thee—see yon canopy
Of the eternal boundless Heavens—yon host
Of all the congregated stars—this earth,
This fair green plain of the luxuriant earth—
Breathe, fair one, breathe the soul inspiring air
Full of the all-heavenly incense wafted from
The groves, the fruits, the gaily-blooming flowers,
Which the rough tempest hath but wak'd to beauty
More fresh than heretofore. Is this a time
For disputation? Starlight, incense, flowers,
And two young loving hearts!

DEVIL
Talk not of love,
Thou need'st must wait cessation of the storm—

ANTONIO
What, harping on th'old string again?

DEVIL
Ay, Sirrah,
Did not Leander swim the roaring main,
The boundless Hellespont (as Homer calls it)
On such a dark and dismal night as this was
Half one good hour ago?

ANTONIO
And perish'd too.

DEVIL
Go to—thou art no lover!

ANTONIO
Thou beliest me—
I am an honest, true and proper lover,
A gentle, comely, comfortable lover,
A well-proportion'd and most gracious lover,
As ever woman set her eyes upon.

DEVIL
Thou knowest that my spouse did journey hence
At midnight, yet did'st thou delay thy coming
Until the storm had swept above thine head.

ANTONIO
Inimitable mistress of my heart,
I sate in judgment on my love and judged it,
I issued out a WRIT against my conscience,
And sent a MITTIMUS unto my soul,
I tried and prov'd it thoroughly and found
That it was free from blame—PROBATUM EST
But come, unveil those eyes, whose dazzlingness
Shoots forth more deadly and more certain shafts
Than those the curly-headed Indian sends
By force of breath from out the echoing tube.

DEVIL
'Tis a chill night—I fear the damp—I cannot
Uncloak myself in such wise.

ANTONIO
Will it please you
To enter in?

DEVIL
Proceed! I follow thee.

ANTONIO
Thy deeds do give the lie unto thy tongue,
Thou art as motionless as Lot's wife.

DEVIL
Begone,
On pain of my displeasure—hie thee hence—
I will attend thee in as many moments
As there are peas in a pod or teats upon
The gentle cow's most elegant dugs, or on
Old Alma Mater, which are two or three—
Albeit she hath the credit for some dozens.

[Exit ANTONIO into the Cottage. DEVIL throws up his hood and proceeds