 | Princess Toto |  |
ACT I.
Scene—Gardens of King Portico's Palace. Zapeter, Jamilek, Courtiers, &c., discovered. All are very prim and precise in appearance.CHORUS.
This is a court in which you'll find
The most respectable society;
To every fault we all are blind,
Except the fault of impropriety.
We pride ourselves upon our taste,
It is indeed our only vanity;
And when in false positions placed
It almost drives us to insanity.
This is a court, &c.
Flourish. Enter King Portico.
King.
Is there no sign of Prince Caramel?
Zap.
None, my liege.
King.
This is a bad beginning. His marriage with our daughter
was to have taken place the day before yesterday; for two days and
a half everything has been in readiness, and we are getting tired of
waiting; besides, the people are becoming impatient, and when we
appear among them we shall be received with derisive remarks. It's
a very bad beginning. It's a slight. It will serve to make us appear
ridiculous in the eyes of the surrounding nations. I will give him
five minutes more, and then—Is everything ready?
Jam.
Everything, sire.
King.
The musicians are here?
Jam.
They are all here, sire.
King.
I trust the cornet-players have been instructed not to puff
out their cheeks when they blow; nothing is more ridiculous than to
The singers—I hope they will be careful not to open their mouths too
wide; it's a very common fault with singers.
Zap.
All this has been attended to.
King.
Very good. There will be no cheering, of course. Nothing
is more vulgar than enthusiasm. I shall make but one speech, and
that will be received in respectful silence.
Zap.
Your speeches, sire, are always so received.
King.
I have remarked it. Well, I think we have provided
against mishaps, as far as we are able to do so. There is nothing left
but to trust that nothing will occur to make us ridiculous in the eyes
of surrounding nations.
[Reprise of Chorus, and exeunt Jamilek and the Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court singing, “This is a court in which you'll find.”]
King.
Zapeter, between ourselves, it's a most extraordinary thing
that that young man doesn't come. Three days late for his wedding!
It's inexcusable.
Zap.
It will be deplorable if anything has occurred to change his
mind.
King.
Deplorable! it will be more than deplorable—it will be
disastrous! It is no news to you that the unparalleled eccentricities
of my daughter, Toto, have caused me the greatest uneasiness; for
they have drawn down ridicule upon us, and made us absurd in the
eyes of surrounding nations. It therefore became necessary, as we
valued our own self-respect, to get her married at once. Prince Doro,
to whom she was betrothed in infancy, unfortunately died, and as
Prince Caramel immediately offered to supply his place I closed with
him at once. He is a highly respectable young prince, but he is
certainly unpunctual. Three days late! Dear, dear, dear! I trust
it won't get about; I am most anxious about that. Great heaven!—
if he should not come at all!—or, worse still, if he should come
ridiculously dressed. There is madness in the thought!
Zap.
My liege, in the excess of our grief and disappointment I
believe we should all go stark staring mad.
King.
Do you really think you would? Then I trust you will be
careful to go mad with dignity, and even in your severest paroxysms
preserve your sense of self-respect.
Re-enter Jamilek.
Jam.
Sire, a gentleman is at the gate, and desires to speak with
your Majesty alone.
Alone! This is a very strange request.
Jam.
The gentleman, sire, is a stranger.
Zap.
It may be that he brings news of Prince Caramel.
King.
Very likely; but why should he not speak openly?
Zap.
Perhaps he brings news that it would be undignified to publish.
King.
Such as—
Zap.
Such as that his Highness has the measles, or the mumps.
A royal wedding postponed on account of the bridegroom's mumps!
Oh! if it should get into the papers!
King.
I should die of confusion; the whole universe would be
laughing at us. Admit him by all means; and if the news is such as
I can listen to without loss of dignity, I will hear what he has to say.
[Exeunt King and Zap.
Enter Prince Doro.
Doro.
At last, after many perils by land and sea, I have arrived at
my destination, and the particular fortune in store for me will soon be
revealed. What a singular one is mine! Betrothed at the immature
age of one to a lovely princess of twelve months, whom, owing to a
confoundedly annoying series of circumstances, I have never seen since!
Who can wonder at my anxiety to know what kind of young lady she
has blossomed into?
In cradledom demurely plighted,
Has time dealt kindly with thy life,
Since thou and I were first united?
Art thou as fair, and yet as fond,
As in that stage of preparation?
Ah! since those days the wizard's wand
Has worked some wondrous transformation.
O bride of mine, whose smiles or tears
Will season all my hopes and fears,
How art thou changed in eighteen years!
Or canst thou stoop to homely duty?
A scornful Juno, proud and staid?
A Hebe blushing in her beauty?
With science in its ev'ry section?
Or is thy learning in thy breast?
Thine only art—to win affection?
O bride of mine, &c.
Re-enter King Portico.
King.
I believe you wished to see the King?
Doro.
Am I right in supposing this to be the royal palace?
King.
This is a—in short, one of them. It is not the best of
them; but the others are under repair.
Doro.
Sir, I salute you with every sentiment of the profoundest
respect.
King.
(Aside)
Now I wonder if he meant that!
Doro.
You would perhaps like to know who I am. It is but
natural. I, sir, have the honour to be betrothed to your daughter.
I have had that honour for many years past, but circumstances have
prevented me from making use of the fact. I have been wrecked on
a savage shore, and I found myself compelled to dwell among the
natives for ten years. Eventually, I made my escape, and the first
thing I did was to hasten hither to see if my little Toto loved me still.
King
(weeping).
It is an affecting story; but I don't know you.
You won't pretend you are Prince Caramel?
Doro.
Certainly not; I am Prince Doro.
King.
How extremely awkward!
Doro.
I am not usually considered so.
King.
Pardon me, I don't mean that. Don't be angry; but it was
generally supposed that you were—in short, dead; and, not to put
too fine a point upon it, the Princess is going to marry another Prince
—a nice, well-behaved young man—plays the flute, does worsted work,
wears goloshes. He's a highly respectable young man; it's a highly
respectable court too; they all play the flute and all wear goloshes—
a very nice court! Plenty of quiet fun, and no excess.
Doro.
And where is this exemplary youth?
King.
That's what I want to know; we're waiting for him. We
can't think why he hasn't come. It—it's a slight. It will put us in
an absurd light. I—I—I am very angry—very angry indeed.
Doro.
Well, upon my honour, this is extremely pleasant!
It's extremely kind and extremely pleasant of you to look
at it in that way; and, between ourselves—between ourselves, I say
—I don't think you've lost much.
Doro.
Not lost much! Why she promised to be as beautiful as
the day.
King.
Oh! she's more beautiful than some days—the day before
yesterday, for instance. Yes, she's a very fine woman: but—well—
she is rather difficult to deal with. Toto, bless her! is extremely wilful
and obstinate, and ridiculously impulsive and romantic. Her head is
filled with foolish ideas about gipsies, robbers, actors, pirates, paving
commissioners, Red Indians, auctioneers, and outlandish people of that
sort. Just now it's the brigand Barberini, the scourge of the neighbourhood.
She can think and talk of nothing else—wears a lock of
his wig round her neck. You have no idea how she compromises me.
Then she has no memory—no memory whatever; forgets events that
are not ten minutes old. Acts, too, on the spur of the moment; eats,
drinks, sleeps, on the spur of the moment—gets up on the spur of the
moment—sits down on the spur of the moment. And this causes a
great deal of unnecessary pain and inconvenience. I assure you, it's
a fortunate thing for you that you are dead.
Doro.
But I can scarcely be said to be dead.
King.
Oh yes, you are, indeed! You think you're not, but you
are. We had it on the best authority; you were eaten by savages.
You can't get over that, you know.
Doro.
But I assure—
King.
Really, I can't permit the subject to be re-opened. It comes
to this. Either you are dead, or I am placed in a very awkward and
ridiculous position. You see my difficulty.
Doro.
Perfectly. I also see my own. Am I to understand that
I've travelled night and day from the shores of Patagonia for nothing?
King.
Of course, I can't say how much it has cost you, but you
are lucky if you have travelled all that way for nothing; you've nothing
to complain of. After all, you'll see the wedding festivities, you know;
you're in time for that. Your name will be in the papers. What
more can you want?
Doro.
What more? Why, my life is a blank from this moment,
I loved her the first day I saw her. I can see her now, lying in her
nurse's arms, and toying with an india-rubber ring. Is she much
changed?
King.
Yes you'll find her grown. Fickle, like all women, she has
wearied of her india-rubber ring. As for her personal appearance, you
can judge for yourself, for here she comes.
[King and Doro retire.
CHORUS OF BRIDESMAIDS.
Of our opinions to impart
Some notion let's endeavour;
May she be mistress of her heart,
And he her slave for ever.
Toto.
Dressed at last! How do I look, Jelly?
Jelly.
Lovely, your Highness!
Toto.
Let me see! What did I put on this dress for, Jelly?
Jelly.
To be married in, your Highness.
Toto.
Of course; I forgot. It's an awful thing being married!
Jelly.
It's still more awful not being married, your Highness!
Toto.
Do you find that, Jelly?
Jelly.
I do, your Highness.
Toto.
Well, I suppose you're right. It's certainly very pleasant
to think that somebody who loves you better than anybody else in the
whole world, and who is going to love you like that, only more so, all
his life, and isn't going to care a button for any one else as long as he
lives, is coming all the way from ever-so-far, like an arrow from its
quiver, because he feels he can't get on any longer without you.
Why, papa, you look annoyed. Don't you like the sentiment?
King.
Yes, I like the sentiment, but it don't fit the situation. He
is not coming like an arrow from its quiver; he's dawdling, my child,
dawdling.
Toto.
Who's dawdling?
King.
Why, Prince Caramel's dawdling.
Toto.
And who is Prince Caramel, I wonder? I know the name,
too; I've heard it somewhere. Jelly, what do I know about Prince
Caramel?
Jelly.
He's the gentleman your Highness is going to be married to.
Toto.
Of course; I remember. To-day, isn't it?
Jelly.
This very day! I've just been dressing you for the purpose.
Toto.
To be sure you have. Now, what an old goose you must be
to have forgotten that!
King.
Pardon me, we did not forget it; and we are not an old
goose.
Well, if I'm to be married, let's get it over!
King.
But the bridegroom! We must wait for the bridegroom.
Toto.
Wait for the bridegroom? Nonsense! Who cares about
the bridegroom at a wedding? Nobody thinks about him. The bride
monopolizes all the interest; and if she is ready we'll begin. She is
ready, isn't she?
Jelly.
Quite ready, your Highness!
Toto.
Then send her here; I should like to see her.
(Jelly hands
a looking-glass.)
What's this? Oh! of course, I'm the bride. You
silly old man, you forgot I was the bride. Ah! it's lucky I've my
wits about me, or I don't know what would become of you all.
King.
But the bridegroom! He's insignificant, I admit; but so
is the organ-blower in church, yet the organist can't get on without
him. You admit the parallel?
Toto.
Entirely; but as anybody can blow an organ, so anyone
can be a bridegroom. This gentleman, for instance—who is he?
(Indicating Doro.)
Doro.
I am an unhappy prince, who has been cruelly jilted. False
girl, I am the miserable Doro.
Toto.
Doro? I know that name—Jelly, what do I know about the
miserable Doro?
Jelly.
He's the gentleman your Highness was betrothed to before
Prince Caramel; the gentleman who died.
Toto.
I remember. I loved you, Doro, and to this day when I
think of your unhappy end, I can't restrain my tears. You—you were
devoured by cannibals; they ate you up
(sobbing).
Did—did—did it
hurt?
Doro.
Cruel girl, you concern yourself with the torture of a
devoured body, but you have little sympathy for the agony of a crushed
soul. Learn, faithless one, that I was not eaten—that I escaped—and
that I stand before you.
Toto.
My own, own husband
(embracing him)
.
Doro.
You love me then?
Toto.
Love you? If you had any idea how slowly the last three
days have passed without you, you would not ask that question.
(To
Jelly.)
Come, we must be off.
Re-enter Zapeter.
Jelly.
Off! Off where?
Off where? what a memory you have! Why off to church,
to be sure. They've actually forgotten that this is my wedding day.
Oh! it's enough to vex a saint, it is.
Doro.
But why are we to go to church?
Toto.
Why? why, to be married of course—I've waited three days,
isn't that enough?
Zap.
Oh, but your Highness, this is not—
King.
(Aside)
Hush! Silence! She has mixed up her lovers.
(Aloud to Doro)
Fall in with her views.
Zap.
But sire, reflect, Prince Caramel may arrive at any moment,
and if he should lose his temper—a very likely contingency under the
circumstances—and interrupt the ceremony, you would be placed in a
very ridiculous and absurd position. Every one would laugh at you.
King.
Oh, would they? very good. We will take precautions
against that. You will remain here, and receive Prince Caramel; you
will explain the case to him diplomatically—you understand—diplomatically
—you will so frame your explanation that he shall receive it
in perfect good humour; indeed, he shall rather like it than otherwise.
And if he gets angry, or says or does anything to make us appear
ridiculous in the eyes of the surrounding nations, we shall hold you
responsible for it; you understand?
ENSEMBLE.
Toto, Doro, Zapeter, and King.
Doro.
Come, let us hasten, love, to make us one,
And on your finger I will place a token;
(Aside)
This is a thing that's very often done,
For promises are made but to be broken.
Toto.
I mean to be a wife this very day,
And you should have been here some days before, Oh!
(Aside)
I have resolved to give my heart away,
And if to any one why not to Doro.
King
(Aside).
We cannot wait;
If he is late
It's his affair,
And he must bear,
Without offence,
The consequence
Of being late;
We cannot wait,
It's his affair,
And he must bear, &c.
Zap.
(Aside).
They cannot wait;
If he is late
It's my affair,
And I must bear
For my offence,
The consequence
Of being late;
They cannot wait,
It's my affair,
And he must bear, &c.
So let us away to the wedding,
Away to the wedding to-day,
No minuet measure be treading,
But merrily trip it away.
Zapeter.
So now they are off to the wedding,
Off, off to the wedding to-day,
While I many tears shall be shedding,
But there'll be the dickens to pay.
[Dance off.
Zap.
This is a pleasant position for a diplomatist. I have to explain,
diplomatically, to the prince, that the bride he is coming to marry is at
present being married to somebody else, and the news must be broken
so diplomatically that he shall rather like it than otherwise.
(Fife and
drum heard without.)
Unless I am very much mistaken, there he is. He
has arrived at last. Oh! spirit of diplomacy—angel or devil—whichever
you are—assist me in this emergency.
[Exit.
Enter Count Floss, Prince Caramel, and Jacquier. The Prince is engaged on a pair of worsted—work slippers. Jacquier is knitting, and Floss is tatting. They are very mild and simple young men.
MARCH.
With princely state,
With fife and drum,
Some three days late,
We come, we come!
When such as we come out in state,
What if we be some three days late!
Car.
Three days late! It's not much, and even now my wedding
present is not finished!
Jacq.
Nor mine!
Floss.
Nor mine!
Car.
Late as we are, they don't seem to be ready for us. The
town is empty; not a soul to be seen! Not a guard of honour, no
sentries, no band, no people! It's most extraordinary!
Re-enter Zapeter.
Jacq.
(seeing Zap.)
Ha! here is a person at last! Sir, will you
kindly inform us whom we have the honour of addressing?
Zap.
(Aside)
A skilful diplomatist never commits himself to a
statement.
(Aloud)
You ask me who I am? Who shall say? Know
thyself, said the philosopher; and he was right.
(Aside)
Neatly
parried.
The Princess, I trust, is well?
Zap.
Well and ill are relative terms. Of three individuals—A, B,
and C—A may be singularly robust as compared with C, but a confirmed
invalid as compared with B. These are momentous questions.
(Aside)
Well fenced.
Floss.
Is her Highness engaged?
Zap.
It may be that she is engaged. It may even be that she is
married.
(Aside)
The thin end of the wedge!
Car.
I do not understand you. Her Highness is a single lady.
Zap.
Single and double are relative terms of people. Of three people,
A, B, and C, B may be single as compared with A, but double as compared
with C. Some people are more single than others; some people, on
the other hand, are more double than others. A wedding! what is
it? a ceremony! why stand upon ceremony? The Princess desires
that there may be no ceremony between you.
(Aside)
The ice is
broken.
Car.
Oh, sir, I am a plain man who does not understand wily talk.
That your words are wise I feel sure, for I cannot make head or tail
of them. It seems to me that you wish to express some idea. If you
would kindly translate it into words of two syllables and under, I
think I should succeed in grasping it more readily.
Zap.
(Aside)
Brought to bay. It is not possible to express oneself
diplomatically in two syllables.
(Aloud)
Sir, the Princess waited
for you until she could wait no longer.
Car.
Yes, I follow you.
Zap.
So, another potentate.
Car.
That's three syllables.
Zap.
True; I apologise.
Jacq.
That's four!
Zap.
I really beg your pardon, I mean to say that I'm sorry—I
regret it. A Prince having offered—Prince Doro—she accepted, and
they are being married now.
(Aside)
Ruined; he winces.
Car.
But, goodness me! you don't mean to say that I'm jilted?
Zap.
I didn't mean to say it, but you made me. If you had let
me run on in polysyllables, I would have broken it more delicately;
but you would have it in two syllables, and I'm a ruined diplomatist.
Floss.
But is there no way?
Zap.
None, they're at the church now.
Car.
We will go to the church, and protest.
(in great terror)
No, no, don't do that, for mercy's sake; I
shall lose my head if you do.
Car.
But what am I to do? You can't expect that I'm going to
submit quietly to such an insult. I can bear a good deal, but I can't
stand that.
Jacq. and Floss.
We can't stand that, you know.
Zap.
Stop! An idea occurs to me. Work upon her emotions;
trade on her impulses; make capital out of her eccentricities. The
Princess has no memory, and acts always on the spur of the moment.
Just now she can talk and think of nothing but the brigand Barberini.
Her romantic mind is fascinated by the accounts she has heard of his
personal beauty and his picturesque exploits. Disguise yourself as the
brigand, catch her alone after the ceremony, declare yourself, she will
forget all about her recent marriage, she will propose to join you, yield
an unwilling assent, and off you go with her.
Car.
But where?
Zap.
To the Rocky Pass. Send your friends and relatives on
ahead disguised as the brigand's band; keep up the illusion for a day
or two; then, when she is thoroughly tired of robber life, undeceive
her, have a clergyman in readiness, and marry her straight off.
(Aside)
I ought to be ashamed of myself.
QUARTETT.
Prince Caramel, Floss, Jacquier, and Zapeter.
Car.
My hand upon it—'tis agreed:
I'll do the deed!
Floss and Jacq.
He'll do the deed!
Car.
In masquerade as brigand chief,
I'll play the thief!
Floss and Jacq.
He'll play the thief!
Zap.
Then come with me, and do not doubt;
I'll rig you out!
The Others.
He'll rig us out!
Zap.
Look fierce, and stamp to make a show;
And stamp just so—just so!
Omnes.
Look fierce, and stamp to make a show;
And stamp just so—just so!
In this disguise,
From knowing eyes
We shall be quite secure;
A brigand dress
This quaint Princess
Successfully will lure!
[Exeunt Omnes.
Re-enter Doro, Toto, and Bridesmaids.
VOCAL WALTZ.—Toto.
Let me not rejoice alone;
Rob from pleasure all its treasure,
For my love is all my own.
Place King Folly on his throne;
Fairest flowers deck the hours,
For my love is all my own.
Ere yet the spring of life is past;
Within my heart thy love I'll cherish:
While it beats that love will last.
[Exeunt Bridesmaids.
Doro.
At last we are alone together! Alone for the first time in
our lives!
Toto.
It's very pleasant. I wonder if I shall like you!
Doro.
I think you'll like me; I'm very popular.
Toto.
Good-tempered?
Doro.
Angelic.
Toto.
Because I think I ought to have a good-tempered husband.
I think I am the sort of girl who would irritate a touchy man. You
see my temper is uncertain; and I'm impetuous, and impulsive, and
my memory is very bad.
Doro.
Very bad?
Toto.
Very bad indeed. Do you know—but you'll be angry if I
tell you.
Doro.
Not a bit.
Well, then, do you know that on my way back from church
I've been twice on the point of asking you if you were going to make
a long stay with us?
Doro.
No?
Toto.
It's a fact—and just now I was all but enquiring of Jelly
whether you were married or single. I quite forgot we'd just been
married; that's bad, isn't it?
Doro.
Yes, I should try and recollect that, if I were you. It might
give rise to unpleasantness if you forgot it often. What are you
doing?
Toto.
(who is tying a knot in her pocket-handkerchief).
That is to
remind me that I'm a married lady; as long as that's there I shall never
forget it.
Doro.
But in the course of time the handkerchief will go to the
wash, and what will you do then?
Toto.
What a clever man you are! Of course it will, I never
thought of that. Then, bless me!
(showing another knot)
I shall forget
this too—and this is ten times more important than the other.
Doro.
And what may that knot be for?
Toto.
I sha'n't tell you—it's a secret.
Doro.
But there must be no secrets between us; we are man and
wife now, and you must tell me everything.
DUET.—Doro and Toto.
Doro.
Oh, tell me now, by plighted vow,
And tell me, tell me truly,
What cunning plot lies in that knot,
That you have tied so newly?
Does it recall some public ball,
To which you want inviting?
Or is it to encourage you
Some letter to be writing?
My jealous mind no rest will find,
My eyes will know no sleeping,
Till I extract the mystic fact
It holds within its keeping.
Oh, let that mystic fact be known
To me alone, to me alone.
Toto.
No, no; that secret shall be known
To me alone, to me alone,
Forgive my thoughtless chatter.
It is designed to call to mind
A most important matter.
I'll tell you now, although I vow
We're not one till to-morrow,
This knot was tied by me, your bride,
To tell me that—
To tell me that—
To tell me that—
To tell me that—
O grief, O rage, O sorrow!
My fatal memory knows no laws,
My head is filled with cotton,
I cannot tell you, dear, because,
Alas, I've quite forgotten;
That secret never can be known,
Not even unto me alone.
Doro
(angrily).
Until that fact to me is known,
I'll live alone—I'll live alone.
[Exit furiously.
Toto.
Poor fellow, I'm sorry he's so angry, but what can I do? I've
entirely forgotten what it refers to. Next time I want to remember something,
I shall tie two knots—one to remind me that I want to
remember something, and the other to remind me what it is I want to
remember.
Re-enter Jelly in great excitement.
Jelly.
Oh! your Highness, such news. As I was looking through the
great iron gates of the palace just now, what should I see but three
great fierce-looking men in sugarloaf hats trimmed with ribbons, great
mysterious-looking cloaks on their shoulders, and guns and daggers
and pistols stuck all over them.
Toto.
(delighted).
They must be brigands—how delightful! And
what did you do?
Jelly.
Do! I saw at a glance that all was lost, so I ran back to
the palace for the key, unlocked the gates, and threw myself into their
arms, exclaiming “Resistance is useless: I am your prisoner, carry me
off to your mountain home.”
Toto.
Noble-hearted girl! And what did they do?
Jelly.
Why, they said I was a bold-faced thing, and ought to be
ashamed of myself. The tall one gave me a tract.
Eccentric creatures! Did you hear their names?
Jelly.
Let me see, the tall one was called Barbar—Barber—
Toto
(excited).
Not Rini? Don't say it was Rini.
Jelly.
Rini it was—Barberini.
Toto.
It is their blood-stained and desperate chief.
Jelly.
He was working a pair of slippers. He said they were
for you.
Toto.
For me? Send him here at once, don't lose a moment.
(Exit Jelly.)
At last I shall see the romantic monster who is the
dread of the whole country, what can he want with me?—perhaps to
carry me off—How dreadful but how picturesque!
Enter Caramel disguised as a brigand. He is followed by Jelly, and looks very mean and pitiful.
Car.
My heart is in my mouth, but I have committed myself to
it, and must go on with it. I have sent Floss and Jacquier to tell my
court to disguise themselves as brigands, and await me in the Rocky
Pass.
Toto
(coming forward).
And are you really Barberini?
Car.
I am really Barberini. Ain't you frightened?
Toto.
Not a bit.
Car.
But I look terrible, don't I?
Toto.
Not so terrible as I expected. I thought there would be more
of this sort of thing about you.
(Striding fiercely about.)
Car.
Oh, I'm like that sometimes.
(Strides about stage.)
Toto.
That's more like it. Go on—oh, it's lovely. Isn't it, Jelly?
Jelly.
It's beautiful—so noble, so picturesque.
Car.
(who has been stamping about all this time).
Do you wish me
to keep this up? It's rather fatiguing.
Toto.
No, not now that I see you can do it, if you like. Come,
and sit down, and tell me all about yourself.
Car.
With pleasure. Don't touch that, my dear; never play with
firearms, an accident so soon happens. Put it down, there's a good girl.
Toto.
Do what the gentleman tells you, Jelly. And so you are
really the ferocious monster I've heard so much about? You don't
look so very dreadful either.
Car.
Oh, that's my nasty cunning: it disarms people and puts them
off their guard. Now do leave that gun alone.
And do you really hide behind rocks, and pot at travellers
as they ride by, and take them prisoners, and make them write for
ransom, and send them home a little bit at a time if the ransom don't
come?
Car.
All this we do, and much more. We are devils of fellows!
Toto.
And then at night you sit round your fires in a cavern, and
count your disgraceful gains? And you sing choruses, and have bands
of bayadères to dance before you?
Car.
Yes, and we play for tremendous stakes, too! We think
nothing of threepenny points, we devils don't! Now, once for all, if
that girl don't put down that firearm, I shall go!
Toto.
Jelly, you're making the gentleman nervous. Do be quiet!
And where are you going now?
Car.
I am on my way to join my band in my home. We have a
little dance to-night. All the respectable brigands for miles round
will be there.
Toto.
And you'll dance in the moonlight, I dare say?
Car.
Yes, the wild quadrille, the maddening Sir Roger de Coverley.
Bless you, we devils don't care what we dance!
Toto
(suddenly).
I'll go with you!
Jelly.
But your Highness—
Toto.
I'll go with him, and so will you! Now, don't stop to argue
the point. When my mind's made up, all the talk in the world won't
change it.
Jelly.
But think for one moment—
Toto.
I've no occasion to think! I'm my own mistress, and I can
do what I like. That's the beauty of being single! We'll come for a
week just to see how we like it. You have some elderly ladies there
to make it respectable?
Car.
Lots of elderly ladies! Bless you, we devils don't care how
elderly they are!
Toto.
Then that decides me. I'll come. The life will suit me
exactly. The dress is picturesque, the occupation is healthy, I've
plenty of pluck, and absolutely nothing to detain me here. What do
you say?
Car.
My hand on it.
(Aside)
She's mine.
(Whistles—the Stage
is filled with Brigands.)
Toto, Jelly, Caramel, Jacquier, and Chorus.
Toto.
A hat and a bright little feather,
A gun on my shoulder—so;
A dagger in scabbard of leather,
And a pistol for a foe.
Like a daring mountain ranger
From rock to rock I'll bound;
In the foremost ranks of danger
Your Toto will be found.
Tutti.
Then away to the mountain brow,
With rifle and six-shooter;
The life of lives, I vow,
Is the life of a brave freebooter.
(As they are going the Act drop falls.)
| Princess Toto | |