University of Virginia Library

Scene Fourth.

—The Gardens of the Palace.
King.
My wife, my life, my love, my everything!

Dra.
Sorry to trouble you, but—

King.
Oh! the ring.
'Tis yours immediately—a thousand pardons.

Queen.
(looking about her)
Why, I declare! they're our own palace gardens.

Dra.
Yes! you're at home, and I feel quite so too.

King.
We're so obliged to you, I hope you do.

Queen.
Would you take anything to eat or drink?

Dra.
Well, as you're so polite, I will, I think,
But I am rather dainty in my feeding,

Queen.
As should become a dragon of good breeding.

King.
Whate'er I can command—flesh, fowl, or fish,
I pledge my word to gratify your wish;
So call for what you like.

Prin.
Oh! yes, pray do.

Dra.
Then, Princess, shortly I will call for you.

(music—Puts ring on her finger, and exit)
Prin.
For me! what can the hideous monster mean?

King.
I've not the slightest notion, have you, Queen?

Queen.
I have a horrid notion that the creetur
Means he will either marry her or eat her.

King and Prin.
Marry!

Queen.
That ring he's on her finger stuck.

Prin.
And I can't get it off again—worse luck.

King.
He wouldn't surely to her hand pretend!
I've no objection to him as a friend;
But as a son-in-law, the thing's absurd,
Not to say monstrous.

Queen.
Monstrous is the word!
If he should call, we must all be denied.

Prin.
I'd rather be his bride cake than his bride.

Queen.
He cannot have his cake and eat it too.

King.
I can't imagine he would either do.
If he propose, he'll meet with a rebuff;
And as to eating, that's of course all stuff.

Queen.
What! when to grant his wish your pledge is fresh,
Whether it be for fish, or fowl, or flesh!

King.
He'd never snap at hasty words like those.

Queen.
He'd snap at anything on earth he chose.

King.
Let's drop the subject for these subjects loyal,
Who haste to greet their Queen, and Princess Royal.

Enter Lords, Ladies, Officers, &c., and Antirumo.
Ant.
Your Majesties have in most happy time
Returned, for hither from a distant clime
Comes an ambassador.

King.
The Frog again?

Ant.
Oh! no, sire,—one of quite a different strain,
With a proposal from Prince Nonpareil
For the Princess Carissima.

King.
À merveille!
Into our presence straight the envoy shew.
(Exit Antirumo)
Proposal could not come more apropos;
What luck! My dear, you know Prince Nonpareil.

Queen.
By name, of course, my love, exceeding well.
Of great King Pippin he's the eldest son;
And of all persons, just the very one
A parent for his daughter would pick out
From all the heir apparents round about.

King.
(to Princess)
I hope he'll to our daughter's liking prove.

Prin.
“I'll look to like, if looking liking move,
But no more deep will I endart mine eye,
Than your consent gives strength to make it fly.”

King.
That girl talks like a book!

Queen.
Beyond all praise,
One seldom hears such language now-a-days.

King.
Behold the envoy!

Enter Prince Nonpareil, attended, introduced by Antirumo.
Prin.
Heavens! what do I see?
Prince Nonpareil himself.
What he?
Bless me!

Prince.
Discovered! then away with all disguise.
Princess, a captive to those wondrous eyes,
Which have my heart and mystery pierced through,
I kneel, my own ambassador to you.

King.
A stranger thus at the first sight to guess,
The gift of second sight she must possess.

Queen.
A clairvoyance, which makes uncommon shady
Madame Robin and the Mysterious Lady.

Duo—Queen and Princess—Ophelia's Song in “Hamlet.”
Queen.

Prin.
“To-morrow is St. Valentine's Day.”

Queen.
Then all your duty and your complaisance,
Was but a copy of your countenance.

King.
And that fine speech about your eye endarting,
Only your eye and Miss Elizabeth Martin.

Prince.
Nay, chide her not, if you approve her choice.

Queen.
Oh! in your favour, sir, you've every voice.

Prince.
Then, as a pledge of union, deign, sweet fair,
On this white hand a union pearl to wear,
Richer than that which ten successive kings,
In—ha! what have we here? Talking of rings,
What ring is this—so like a wedding one—
Upon your wedding finger?

Prin.
(aside)
I'm undone.

King.
(aside)
Confound the Dragon!

Queen.
(aside)
How can this be parried?

Prince.
I'm on the rack; are you already married?

Queen.
No! in the garden some one must have dropped it,
My daughter found, and on her finger popp'd it.

King.
Just slipped it on.

Prince.
Then slip it off again.

Prin.
I would with pleasure, but I've tried in vain.
My finger's swollen round it, but I hope
Before the day's out—

Queen.
Try a little soap!

King.
If that won't do, why, we must get a file,
And file it off. But come, in the meanwhile,
Let us be merry. Ho, there! music! wine!
(Exit Antirumo)
This very day the contract we will sign.

(King, Queen, Princess, and Prince sit—Four Attendants with wine and refreshment)
Enter Antirumo.
Ant.
My liege! my liege!

King.
How now! what means this panic?
Have you beheld his Majesty Satanic?

Ant.
Something that's put me in a fright as great.
There is a giant, sir, outside the gate!

King.
With all my heart. He may remain outside.

Queen.
Don't let him in!

Ant.
I couldn't if I tried.
There is no gate which, even on all fours,
He could creep through.

King.
And wherefore at our doors
At such a time impertinently knocks he?

Ant.
The Princess he is come to wed by proxy.

Prin.
Wed me!

King.
By proxy!

Queen.
(aside)
In my shoes I shake!

Prince.
Proxy for whom?

Ant.
The Dragon of the Lake,
Who says, if for his rib he cannot win her,
He'll come and pick her bones to-day for dinner.

Queen.
I told you so!

Prince.
Explain this fearful mystery.

Queen.
Learn of this magic ring the fatal history.
To this vile Dragon 'twas a promised gift,
For having given his Majesty a lift,
When in great need of one, I'm bound to say,
But such a trick with it as this to play
Is conduct which I do consider really,
As even for a dragon much too scaly.

Prin.
I'd sooner die than form such an alliance!

Prince.
(to Antirumo)
Fling in his teeth Prince Nonpareil's defiance.

King.
Not so! if fighting might the matter settle,
Of Fulminoso none can doubt the mettle.
But, oh! I pledged my royal word to grant
Of fish, fowl, flesh, whatever he might want;
And though not fish nor fowl, she is a specimen
Of flesh and blood that deeper makes the mess I'm in.

(the Giant appears over the tops of the trees)
All.
The Giant!

(all exeunt in terror except the King, Queen, Prince, and Princess)
Giant.
Holloa, there! it's getting late!
Pray, how much longer am I here to wait?

Queen.
You must excuse a little hesitation;
Just put yourself, sir, in our situation.
How should you like to see your daughter clawed up,
By a fierce dragon, to be chained or chawed up?

Giant.
I never had a daughter, so can't say.

King.
You have no children, butcher! go away.

Giant.
Not till I get an answer, “yes” or “no”!
Is that young woman coming for to go?
Or do you mean I'm to go for to come
Back with my lord, the Dragon Fee-Fo-Fum!

King.
How shall we answer?

Prin.
Sir, let me reply.
To save your honour I'm content to die.
I am not bound to be the Dragon's wife.
Your promise gives him power but o'er my life.
Return, huge monster, to thy treacherous lord,
Say that King Fulminoso keeps his word—
That I, his daughter, scorn to make excuses,
And he may come and eat me when he chooses.

Giant.
Prepare, then, for to-night on you he'll sup.

King.
Heroic girl!

(Giant disappears)
Queen.
And she'll be gobbled up!

King.
Before our eyes!

Queen.
And we have got no other!

King.
What a sight for a father!

Queen.
Or a mother!

King.
Oh! full of scorpions is my mind, dear wife.

Prince.
Is there no way to save her precious life?

Queen.
No friend to help us?

Music—Grenouilletta rises.
Gre.
Yes, one friend most true,
Though you've forgotten me, I haven't you.

Queen.
Grenouilletta! oh, I blush for shame.

King.
The Frog! I feel I'm awfully to blame.

Queen.
Deep as we are already in your debt,
Prove you forgive, although you don't forget.

Gre.
I come to do so, for in helping you,
I helped myself more than I thought to do;
The Fairy Lioness's spell destroyed,
I gained the power she before enjoyed.
No longer a half fairy, be it known,
I take full elfin rank in Queen Mab's own,
Vice Leona, now dismissed her service.

King.
My heart spins round like any dancing dervise.

Gre.
First from this maiden's hand I pluck the ring,
(taking it from finger of Princess)
By fraud placed there, through your rash promise, King.
Now mark my words. When strikes the witching hour
In which we fairies have the greatest power,
The Princess to the marshy valley lead,
And send the Dragon word to come and feed;
That act performed your honour bright secures;
If he don't eat her, that's no fault of yours.

Queen.
If! Can there be an “if?” Oh, then, if so,
There is much virtue in an “if,” we know.

Gre.
Prince Nonpareil, you would her champion be?

Prince.
Against the world!

Gre.
Then through it follow me.

Air—Fairy—“Follow, follow o'er the mountain.”
Follow, follow, of this planet
But the surface here you see;
You will find the world more hollow
Than you'd fancy it could be!
In my subterranean lodgings,
All the depth of it you'll sound;
And the Dragon's artful dodgings,
Deep enough be to confound.
Follow, &c.

(Exeunt Prince and Grenouilletta, King, Queen, and Princess following)