University of Virginia Library

ACT II.

Scene First.

—The Foot of the Giant's Staircase of Ten Thousand Steps leading to the Centre of the Earth.
Enter Leona.
Leo.
Accursed fate! I feel 'tis near the hour
Which tolls the knell of all my magic power.
Close on me follows the undaunted King,
Guided and guarded by his golden ring.
Against this most invulnerable male,
My magic arrows are of no avail.
I made a sad mistake, in bringing down
To this estate the partner of his crown.
But who could have conceived a cara-sposo,
Was to be found on earth like Fulminoso?
Since Orpheus for his wife went to the deuce,
The custom's fallen quite into dis-use;
And if to take such journeys men are prone,
It is for other wives—and not their own.
He comes! and makes me tremble, I confess,
Both as a lady—and a Lioness.

(retires into cavern)
King Fulminoso enters.
King.
This way the noise was! Monster, shew thy mug!
If thou escapest me by some humbug
My wife and daughter's ghosts will haunt me still.
Where is this Lioness that I must kill?
She that's the beast and beauty rolled in one,
For such an one am I to fight, or none!

Enter Leona.
Leo.
Behold her! but I will not fight with thee!

King.
Then yield! and to that great menagerie
Which fashion flocks to in the Regent's Park,
I'll send thee 'mongst the monsters there of mark;
Soon to put out of joint with belles and beaux,
The hippopotamus's ugly nose.
I'll have it advertised in all the Press,
“Here may you see the Fairy Lioness!”

Leo.
I will not yield to be a Sunday show
With any hippopotamus I know.
Though you have come to my hall door, vile King,
Not only with a knock, but with a ring;
Still will I try the last—lay on, you muff,
And hang me if I don't yet work your buff.

(they fight)
Duo—King and Leona—“German Polka.”
Leo.
Strike a female unprotected,
Who such usage had expected?
See a warrior's sword directed,
'Gainst a woman in distress.

King.
To my gallantry appealing,
Let me as a man of feeling,
Beg you'll take the blows I'm dealing,
Only as a Lioness.

Leo.
Ugh, you wretch, I'll scratch your eyes out!

King.
There, indeed, the woman flies out.
Come! peccavi who first cries out,
Shall be—what I won't express.
Fight or fly, one thing or t'other,
I've no time for all this pother.

Leo.
You're a monster!

King.
You're another!
So have at you, sorceress.

Leo.
Come to the scratch, ye monsters of the lake,
Of this foolhardy mortal mincemeat make.

Music—Leona rushes off; various monsters issue from the cavern and attack the King—He beats them off.
Re-enter Leona.
Leo.
His ardent spirit is all proof above!
What if assailed on the weak side of love?
I'll raise up with her never dying snakes,
The green-eyed monster jealousy—which makes
The meat she feeds on! She shall act her part,
And try to stab this husband to the heart;
If in that point invulnerable found,
I've no hope left above, or underground.
Re-enter King.
Besotted mortal! why these perils dare
For one who long hath ceased for thee to care?
By other homage for thy loss consoled,
A favoured lover in her arms behold!

Scene Second.

—The Rocks open, and discover a Crystal Tower, in which the Queen is seen embracing a young Prince.
King.
My Dulcibella false! I'll not believe
My eyes, which you may by your skill deceive.
My heart assures me she is no such thing—
And I shall know the false coin by the ring—
(chord)
(stretches out his hand with the ring towards the Castle, and the Prince immediately changes to the Princess)
My daughter! a fair rival!

(rocks close)
Leo.
Fiends! confusion!

King.
True love can not be duped by such delusion,
Release them, sorceress, thy arts are vain,

Leo.
No! still some fragments of my power remain.

(music—The scene draws off, and discovers

Scene Third.

—The Quicksilver Lake.
Leo.
Pent in that crystal castle, they shall float
On yon quicksilver lake as in a boat.
Thy ring must touch it, ere the crystal break.
(music)
Shift, silver, shift—thus I my last shift make.

(Exit)
(music—The King goes to rock and endeavours to touch Castle —it glides to the opposite side—King crosses stage and tries to touch it there—it then glides back again)
Trio—King, Queen, and Princess—“O Pescator.”
King.

Queen and Princess.

Queen.
Dearest of husbands! tell me how d'ye do?

King.
Not much the better, love, for seeing you
In that glass case.

Prin.
Or rather, this glass slipper.

King.
A cunning craft, which acts as its own skipper,

Queen.
If, as the proverb says, all things give place
When but a single lady's in the case,
Surely politeness should as far be carried
When there are two—one single and one married.
And yet through all the pains I've had to pass,
I've found none harder than this pane of glass.

King.
It is indeed a painful exhibition
To which there is no getting an admission
At any price.

Enter Dragon.
Dra.
Come, how much would you stand,
If I should give you now a helping hand?

King.
A helping hand! why, looking at its claws
Before I take it I must beg to pause.

Dra.
Well, I'll propose the terms then, if you like,
And you may or may not the bargain strike,
I'll bear you to that castle on my back;
And you shall get your friends out in a crack,
If when the spell is broken you'll give me
That ring, which then to you will useless be.

King.
I will.

Dra.
Upon your honour?

King.
Shining bright.

Dra.
Up with you, and sit fast!

King.
Go on, all right.

(Exeunt King and Dragon, and re-enter Dragon with King on his back, whom he swims with to the Castle—The King touches the Castle with the ring—The Castle, lake, and mountains vanish, and the King, Queen, Princess, and Dragon are left in

Scene Fourth.

—The Gardens of the Palace.
King.
My wife, my life, my love, my everything!

Dra.
Sorry to trouble you, but—

King.
Oh! the ring.
'Tis yours immediately—a thousand pardons.

Queen.
(looking about her)
Why, I declare! they're our own palace gardens.

Dra.
Yes! you're at home, and I feel quite so too.

King.
We're so obliged to you, I hope you do.

Queen.
Would you take anything to eat or drink?

Dra.
Well, as you're so polite, I will, I think,
But I am rather dainty in my feeding,

Queen.
As should become a dragon of good breeding.

King.
Whate'er I can command—flesh, fowl, or fish,
I pledge my word to gratify your wish;
So call for what you like.

Prin.
Oh! yes, pray do.

Dra.
Then, Princess, shortly I will call for you.

(music—Puts ring on her finger, and exit)
Prin.
For me! what can the hideous monster mean?

King.
I've not the slightest notion, have you, Queen?

Queen.
I have a horrid notion that the creetur
Means he will either marry her or eat her.

King and Prin.
Marry!

Queen.
That ring he's on her finger stuck.

Prin.
And I can't get it off again—worse luck.

King.
He wouldn't surely to her hand pretend!
I've no objection to him as a friend;
But as a son-in-law, the thing's absurd,
Not to say monstrous.

Queen.
Monstrous is the word!
If he should call, we must all be denied.

Prin.
I'd rather be his bride cake than his bride.

Queen.
He cannot have his cake and eat it too.

King.
I can't imagine he would either do.
If he propose, he'll meet with a rebuff;
And as to eating, that's of course all stuff.

Queen.
What! when to grant his wish your pledge is fresh,
Whether it be for fish, or fowl, or flesh!

King.
He'd never snap at hasty words like those.

Queen.
He'd snap at anything on earth he chose.

King.
Let's drop the subject for these subjects loyal,
Who haste to greet their Queen, and Princess Royal.

Enter Lords, Ladies, Officers, &c., and Antirumo.
Ant.
Your Majesties have in most happy time
Returned, for hither from a distant clime
Comes an ambassador.

King.
The Frog again?

Ant.
Oh! no, sire,—one of quite a different strain,
With a proposal from Prince Nonpareil
For the Princess Carissima.

King.
À merveille!
Into our presence straight the envoy shew.
(Exit Antirumo)
Proposal could not come more apropos;
What luck! My dear, you know Prince Nonpareil.

Queen.
By name, of course, my love, exceeding well.
Of great King Pippin he's the eldest son;
And of all persons, just the very one
A parent for his daughter would pick out
From all the heir apparents round about.

King.
(to Princess)
I hope he'll to our daughter's liking prove.

Prin.
“I'll look to like, if looking liking move,
But no more deep will I endart mine eye,
Than your consent gives strength to make it fly.”

King.
That girl talks like a book!

Queen.
Beyond all praise,
One seldom hears such language now-a-days.

King.
Behold the envoy!

Enter Prince Nonpareil, attended, introduced by Antirumo.
Prin.
Heavens! what do I see?
Prince Nonpareil himself.
What he?
Bless me!

Prince.
Discovered! then away with all disguise.
Princess, a captive to those wondrous eyes,
Which have my heart and mystery pierced through,
I kneel, my own ambassador to you.

King.
A stranger thus at the first sight to guess,
The gift of second sight she must possess.

Queen.
A clairvoyance, which makes uncommon shady
Madame Robin and the Mysterious Lady.

Duo—Queen and Princess—Ophelia's Song in “Hamlet.”
Queen.

Prin.
“To-morrow is St. Valentine's Day.”

Queen.
Then all your duty and your complaisance,
Was but a copy of your countenance.

King.
And that fine speech about your eye endarting,
Only your eye and Miss Elizabeth Martin.

Prince.
Nay, chide her not, if you approve her choice.

Queen.
Oh! in your favour, sir, you've every voice.

Prince.
Then, as a pledge of union, deign, sweet fair,
On this white hand a union pearl to wear,
Richer than that which ten successive kings,
In—ha! what have we here? Talking of rings,
What ring is this—so like a wedding one—
Upon your wedding finger?

Prin.
(aside)
I'm undone.

King.
(aside)
Confound the Dragon!

Queen.
(aside)
How can this be parried?

Prince.
I'm on the rack; are you already married?

Queen.
No! in the garden some one must have dropped it,
My daughter found, and on her finger popp'd it.

King.
Just slipped it on.

Prince.
Then slip it off again.

Prin.
I would with pleasure, but I've tried in vain.
My finger's swollen round it, but I hope
Before the day's out—

Queen.
Try a little soap!

King.
If that won't do, why, we must get a file,
And file it off. But come, in the meanwhile,
Let us be merry. Ho, there! music! wine!
(Exit Antirumo)
This very day the contract we will sign.

(King, Queen, Princess, and Prince sit—Four Attendants with wine and refreshment)
Enter Antirumo.
Ant.
My liege! my liege!

King.
How now! what means this panic?
Have you beheld his Majesty Satanic?

Ant.
Something that's put me in a fright as great.
There is a giant, sir, outside the gate!

King.
With all my heart. He may remain outside.

Queen.
Don't let him in!

Ant.
I couldn't if I tried.
There is no gate which, even on all fours,
He could creep through.

King.
And wherefore at our doors
At such a time impertinently knocks he?

Ant.
The Princess he is come to wed by proxy.

Prin.
Wed me!

King.
By proxy!

Queen.
(aside)
In my shoes I shake!

Prince.
Proxy for whom?

Ant.
The Dragon of the Lake,
Who says, if for his rib he cannot win her,
He'll come and pick her bones to-day for dinner.

Queen.
I told you so!

Prince.
Explain this fearful mystery.

Queen.
Learn of this magic ring the fatal history.
To this vile Dragon 'twas a promised gift,
For having given his Majesty a lift,
When in great need of one, I'm bound to say,
But such a trick with it as this to play
Is conduct which I do consider really,
As even for a dragon much too scaly.

Prin.
I'd sooner die than form such an alliance!

Prince.
(to Antirumo)
Fling in his teeth Prince Nonpareil's defiance.

King.
Not so! if fighting might the matter settle,
Of Fulminoso none can doubt the mettle.
But, oh! I pledged my royal word to grant
Of fish, fowl, flesh, whatever he might want;
And though not fish nor fowl, she is a specimen
Of flesh and blood that deeper makes the mess I'm in.

(the Giant appears over the tops of the trees)
All.
The Giant!

(all exeunt in terror except the King, Queen, Prince, and Princess)
Giant.
Holloa, there! it's getting late!
Pray, how much longer am I here to wait?

Queen.
You must excuse a little hesitation;
Just put yourself, sir, in our situation.
How should you like to see your daughter clawed up,
By a fierce dragon, to be chained or chawed up?

Giant.
I never had a daughter, so can't say.

King.
You have no children, butcher! go away.

Giant.
Not till I get an answer, “yes” or “no”!
Is that young woman coming for to go?
Or do you mean I'm to go for to come
Back with my lord, the Dragon Fee-Fo-Fum!

King.
How shall we answer?

Prin.
Sir, let me reply.
To save your honour I'm content to die.
I am not bound to be the Dragon's wife.
Your promise gives him power but o'er my life.
Return, huge monster, to thy treacherous lord,
Say that King Fulminoso keeps his word—
That I, his daughter, scorn to make excuses,
And he may come and eat me when he chooses.

Giant.
Prepare, then, for to-night on you he'll sup.

King.
Heroic girl!

(Giant disappears)
Queen.
And she'll be gobbled up!

King.
Before our eyes!

Queen.
And we have got no other!

King.
What a sight for a father!

Queen.
Or a mother!

King.
Oh! full of scorpions is my mind, dear wife.

Prince.
Is there no way to save her precious life?

Queen.
No friend to help us?

Music—Grenouilletta rises.
Gre.
Yes, one friend most true,
Though you've forgotten me, I haven't you.

Queen.
Grenouilletta! oh, I blush for shame.

King.
The Frog! I feel I'm awfully to blame.

Queen.
Deep as we are already in your debt,
Prove you forgive, although you don't forget.

Gre.
I come to do so, for in helping you,
I helped myself more than I thought to do;
The Fairy Lioness's spell destroyed,
I gained the power she before enjoyed.
No longer a half fairy, be it known,
I take full elfin rank in Queen Mab's own,
Vice Leona, now dismissed her service.

King.
My heart spins round like any dancing dervise.

Gre.
First from this maiden's hand I pluck the ring,
(taking it from finger of Princess)
By fraud placed there, through your rash promise, King.
Now mark my words. When strikes the witching hour
In which we fairies have the greatest power,
The Princess to the marshy valley lead,
And send the Dragon word to come and feed;
That act performed your honour bright secures;
If he don't eat her, that's no fault of yours.

Queen.
If! Can there be an “if?” Oh, then, if so,
There is much virtue in an “if,” we know.

Gre.
Prince Nonpareil, you would her champion be?

Prince.
Against the world!

Gre.
Then through it follow me.

Air—Fairy—“Follow, follow o'er the mountain.”
Follow, follow, of this planet
But the surface here you see;
You will find the world more hollow
Than you'd fancy it could be!
In my subterranean lodgings,
All the depth of it you'll sound;
And the Dragon's artful dodgings,
Deep enough be to confound.
Follow, &c.

(Exeunt Prince and Grenouilletta, King, Queen, and Princess following)

Scene Fifth.

—The foot of the Giant's Staircase, &c. (same as First Scene of this Act)
Enter Grenouilletta and Prince down staircase.
Prince.
Where are we?

Gre.
In the centre of the earth,
Where all its hidden wonders have their birth;
The Fairy Lioness's ancient seat,
Now my abode.

Prince.
No doubt a snug retreat;
But rather dull, and if I may say, dingy.

Gre.
The former occupant was quite as stingy
As she was wicked. I shall have it burnished
As bright as day—each chamber newly furnished,
And with conservatories, baths and dairies,
Make it a model lodging-house for fairies.
But to our present business. In that cupboard,
Which once belonged to Mother Bunch or Hubbard,
(I'm not quite certain which, it's so long back,)
You'll find the arms with which immortal Jack,
Made shorter by so many heads the giants;
The sword of sharpness and the cap of science,
The coat of darkness and the shoes of speed.

Prince.
To fight the Dragon just the things I need.
(opens door and takes them out)
The shoes of swiftness to the spot will take me,
The fairy coat invisible will make me;
So that while he can't see to take my measure,
I'll poke him up and cut him down at pleasure.

Gre.
Also a phial, which contains a juice,
That can a transformation strange produce.

Prince.
'Tis here. But who the change must undergo?

Gre.
Put on your cap of knowledge, and you'll know.

Prince.
(putting on cap)
Ha, bless me, why this Dragon, Fee-Fo-Fum,
Is—

Gre.
Not a word at present.

Prince.
Ma'am, I'm mum!
For I perceive why, though a potent elf,
You couldn't settle this affair yourself.

Gre.
It was impossible.

Prince.
Of course, because—

Gre.
Hush! till in death you've locked the Dragon's jaws.
Then to the public you may give the key
Of this impenetrable mystery.

Duo—Fairy and Prince Nonpareil.—“What fairy-like music.”
Fairy.

Prince.

(Exeunt Grenouilletta and Prince Nonpareil opposite sides)

Scene Sixth.

—The Marsh—Stump of Tree in centre— Enter Two Officers, Guards, Princess, King, Queen, and Attendants, &c.
Queen.
This is the spot, the middle of the marsh,
Here stands the stump to which, by sentence harsh,
In honour we are bound this lamb to bind,
Poor, poor lost mutton!

Prin.
Mother, I don't mind.
I am prepared the heroine to play;
Remember Perseus and Andromeda;
Or the fair Sabra and St. George! indeed
'Tis plain, for aught that I could ever read,
Could e'er by tale or history discover,
The course a dragon never yet walked over,
To walk off with the stake of a princess,
But either he got into some great mess,
Or else was stuck through body, bones and gristle,
Or else his head cut off, clean as a whistle;
Or if there was one thing on earth that nettled him,
More than another—it turned up and settled him.

King.
She is as wise as brave, she's given us hope enough
To hang the Dragon, let us give her rope enough.
(they bind her to the stake)
Where shall we stand the dread result to note?

Queen.
“Upon a mountain's top, the most remote
And inaccessible, by shepherds trod—”

King.
(aside)
To tread what's inaccessible is odd.

Queen.
We'll stand to see what fortune out will shell,
And so one last embrace—and then, farewell.

Concerted Piece—King, Queen, Princess, and Court—“French Air.”
King.
Yes, farewell, for we must go.

All.
Oh!

King.
Say good-bye to your papa!

All.
Ah!

Queen.
And to fill the cup of woe—

All.
Oh!

Queen.
Bid adieu to your mamma.

All.
Ah!

King.
Should the Dragon win the day!

All.
Eh!

King.
And you down his gullet go,

All.
Oh!

King.
Dearest child, I hope you may—

All.
Eh!

King.
Choke him, ere you get too low,

All.
Oh!

(Exeunt King, Queen, and Court)
Prin.
Scena—Princess—“She wore a wreath of roses.”

Enter Dragon.
Dra.
Oh! you do, do you?

Prin.
Ah! (screaming)


Dra.
Then why these cries?

Prin.
Nay, if you take a body by surprise.

Dra.
I take a body any way or how,
When I'm as hungry as I am just now.
So down the red lane, as the children say,
You go directly.

Prin.
Help, Frog, while you may!

Music—Prince Nonpareil, wearing the invisible coat, and bearing the sword of sharpness, enters, and catches hold of Dragon's tail.
Dra.
Furies and fire, who's pulling at my tail?

Prince.
If you desire to know, Prince Nonpareil.

Prin.
It is his voice, but I can't get a sight of him.

Dra.
No more can I, or I'd make but one bite of him.

Prince.
But you shall feel me. There, and there, and there.

(cutting and stabbing him)
Dra.
Oh, I'm an undone Dragon. Mercy! spare
My life, and take my money.

Prince.
Monster, no!
Go where all wicked dragons ought to go.
(the Dragon falls and dies—The Prince flings off his coat, and appears to the Princess, whom he releases)
Victoria! my love again is free.

Prin.
Victorious, my love again I see!

Enter King and Queen.
King.
Hurrah! hurrah! you polished him off neatly.

Queen.
Never was dragon cut up more completely.

King.
You've pierced his waterproof great-coat of scale through,
And made a hole that you might drive the mail through.

Prince.
Ah, I forgot, I've not done with him yet,
There is a male out through that hole to let.

Prin.
What marvel next?

Prince.
Come forth, thou magic phial,
Thus of thy potent charm I make one trial.

(sprinkles the contents on the body of Dragon, and Prince Lizardo rises out of it)
Liz.
And, to my great relief I'm free to say.

Queen.
A handsome youth! where did you spring from, pray?

Liz.
Out of that Dragon's hide, wherein I led
A horrid life for one well born and bred,
Compelled, to serve a wicked Fairy's ends,
To live—I blush to say—upon my friends.
Restored to habits now that more befit me,
I mean to live for them—if they permit me.

Prince.
Although prepared, of course, for this event,
It gives me wonder great as my content,
To see you here before us.

Enter Grenouilletta.
Gre.
I've no doubt
But the whole secret now may be let out.
This is the Prince Lizardo, who, one day,
Fell in the Fairy Lioness's way;
And, for he wouldn't doat the cruel hag on,
She turned him into that detested Dragon!

King.
Ah! I suspect—Prince! you're a lucky dog!
To you our friend is not cold as a Frog!

Gre.
Well, I confess, sir—spare a fairy's blushes—
Here, as the Emperor of all the Rushes,
I hope to crown him.

Scene changes to

Last Scene.

—Nuptial Bowr of the Queen of the Frogs.
Prin.
See! where from them springs
A fairy palace!

King.
With two dragon wings.

Gre.
Enter in triumph!

Queen.
Softly there, my friend!
That must on other sovereign powers depend.

King.
For such a plunge this pit may be too deep,
A frog like you should look before you leap.

Queen.
(to audience)
“Do as you would be done by,” is a rule
As golden as was ever taught at school.

King.
Let the Frog save us, as we tried to save her.

Queen.
By jumping here, at once, into your favour.

Finale—“Green grow the rushes, O.”
Prin.

Queen.

King.