University of Virginia Library

Scene Second.

—The Gates of Charming's Palace.
Enter Florina.
Flor.
Once more on terra firma safe and sound!
So far I've quickly got over the ground,
But now I've got to get over the porter,
To make my way into the palace shorter;
I mustn't waste another egg about it,
But trust to what my brain can hatch without it.
He's there! and thinks himself a mighty great man!
A prouder porter never served Lord Bateman.

(rings gate bell)
Enter Porter.
Porter.
How now? how dare you at these portals ring?

Flor.
If you please, sir, I wish to see the King.

Porter.
You wish to see the King! a slut like you!
Go, get along with you, you hussy, do!

Flor.
Do let me in to see the King; sir, pray!

Porter.
The creature's crazy! Troop, girl, while you may!
Or, whether you are mad, or only sham,
You'll catch what here we call toco for yam!

Flor.
I don't know what you mean by yam or toco,
But here's a bauble some may call rococo,
(takes jewel out of her pouch)
Which is worth pocketing, and yours to keep,
If at the King you'll let me have one peep.

Porter.
(aside)
Diamonds and rubies! Who the deuce could think it!
How could she honestly come by that trinket?
That's not my business though. (aloud)
Humph! Well, suppose
I should permit you just to pop your nose
Inside the gates—what will you say, if seen
By the new regent, the great foreign Queen,
Who rules the roast here?

Flor.
There no harm can be,
In a poor girl wishing the King to see.

Porter.
Oh, can't there? No—you'd best not say the King.
You wish to see the palace, that's the thing,
The Whispering Gallery, which people do
Obtain, occasionally, leave to view.

Flor.
The Whispering Gallery! what, round the walls
Does the voice run, as in that of St. Paul's?

Porter.
Yes, only here its gambols you must curb,
For fear his Majesty you might disturb;
Whilst at St. Paul's they care what's said by no man,
Provided you pay twopence to the showman.

Flor.
What! would King Charming hear whate'er we said?

Porter.
His chamber is directly overhead,
And any secrets dropped there, it appears,
Run up directly to the royal ears.

Flor.
Oh, give me to that gallery admission!

Porter.
You must the Queen herself for that petition.
She keeps it locked—the people say, for fear
Some ugly truths of her the King should hear.
Zooks! here she comes— (opens gates)
and with her the old King,
As usual, fastened to her apron string.

Flor.
Disguise, befriend me—and be yours the task,
Good fairy egg, to gain me what I ask.

Music—She takes an egg out of her basket and cracks it—A large pie rises in its place, in a golden dish, adorned with jewels.
Enter Queen Tyrana, King Henpeckt, and Attendants.
Queen,
Who comes between the wind and our nobility?

Flor.
So please your Majesty, with all humility,
A poor girl, who has got a toy to sell,
Entirely made out an egg-shell.

(shewing the pie)
King.
Out of an egg-shell! Why it looks like gold!

Queen.
Will you be kind enough your tongue to hold?

King.
I only spoke because—

Queen.
Because you shouldn't!
How often, sir, must I desire you wouldn't?
(to Florina)
And what, pray, may you call this trumpery thing?

Flor.
A pretty dish to set before the King.
A pie, with four-and-twenty blackbirds in it,
Which sing a song of sixpence!
(takes top off, and discovers four-and-twenty Blackbirds, with jewelled eyes and beaks, on boughs of silver and precious stones)
Come, begin it!

Blackbirds sing the Nursery Rhyme, “Sing a Song of Sixpence,” &c.
King.
That well-known song makes me a child again!

Queen.
(aside to him)
You're in your second childhood, sir, that's plain;
If the girl sees she's raised our admiration,
She'll raise her price beyond all calculation.

King.
Of course, I never thought—

Queen.
You never do!
'Tis fortunate you've me to think for you,
This wondrous pie King Charming may amuse.

King.
I see—the blacks may drive away the blues.

Queen.
Suppose I was inclined this toy to buy,
What is the price you set upon your pie?

Flor.
I don't pretend to know what it is worth,
But I have wished, before all things on earth,
To see the Whispering Gallery, so famous
Throughout the Fan-sea Isles.

Queen.
Poor ignoramus!

Flor.
And I will gladly give one curiosity
To satisfy the other.

Queen.
(aside)
With velocity
I'll close this bargain. (aloud)
Well, it may divert
My son-in-law, so—

King.
(aside to her)
It's as cheap as dirt!
The jewels in it are beyond all price!

Queen.
I'll ask you, sir, when I need your advicc.
Carry the trifle in—
(Attendants take pie up)
And this young lass
Into the Whispering Gallery let pass!

Flor.
Oh, thank you, madam.

(Exit, following Attendants)
King.
(aside)
For it if I die,
I'll try to get a finger in that pie.

(march—Exeunt King, Queen, &c.)