 | Telemachus ; or, The Island of Calypso |  |
196
Scene Fourth.
—A Forest.Enter Mentor.
Ment.
So so! the game is up! Mistress and maid
Are bent upon the same though, I'm afraid;
And yet, so much the better, for I've found
Between two stools we often come to ground.
I'll lead Calypso where she may discover
Miss Eucharis coquetting with her lover;
And if some precious trick she doesn't serve her,
Why then my real name is not Minerva.
It is impossible, young Mr. T.
Could live in Hymen's bonds with that Miss E.;
And what's impossible can never be,
And never, never, never come to pass—
Who thinks it can, is but a stupid ass.
Son of Ulysses, up this proverb treasure,
“Marry in haste and you'll repent at leisure.”
Air—“When time hath bereft thee”—“Gustavus III.”
Are bent upon the same though, I'm afraid;
And yet, so much the better, for I've found
Between two stools we often come to ground.
I'll lead Calypso where she may discover
Miss Eucharis coquetting with her lover;
And if some precious trick she doesn't serve her,
Why then my real name is not Minerva.
It is impossible, young Mr. T.
Could live in Hymen's bonds with that Miss E.;
And what's impossible can never be,
And never, never, never come to pass—
Who thinks it can, is but a stupid ass.
Son of Ulysses, up this proverb treasure,
“Marry in haste and you'll repent at leisure.”
'Tis time thou hast left here,
O pupil of mine;
Or of freedom bereft here,
To late thou'lt repine.
When the rose pink shall vanish
That now paints thy dear,
And the want of the Spanish
Makes creditors queer—
Thou'lt complain of the badness
Of times; and to me
Confess it was madness
To marry Miss E.
They come! Calypso must not longer doubt of it.O pupil of mine;
Or of freedom bereft here,
To late thou'lt repine.
When the rose pink shall vanish
That now paints thy dear,
And the want of the Spanish
Makes creditors queer—
Thou'lt complain of the badness
Of times; and to me
Confess it was madness
To marry Miss E.
Enter Eucharis and Telemachus.
Euch.
We're in the wood.
Ment.
(aside)
Don't hollo till you're out of it.
(Exit)
197
Oh, that together we through life could trip so;
But weren't you just now kneeling to Calypso?
Tel.
Kneeling to her, sweet maid! Come, that's a good one;
One couldn't after seeing you—now could one?
With you alone I'd live—without you die!
Euch.
You just say that 'cause no one else is by.
Tel.
Sweet love, you wrong me! let me swear again!—
Euch.
They tell me that's the way with all the men.
Tel.
I'm not like other men—indeed it's true!
Euch.
That's strange, for other men are just like you.
Tel.
I vow—protest—I never will deceive you!
Euch.
(curtseying)
And I am fool enough, sir, to believe you.
Tel.
You are? then is my happiness complete,
I'll settle here and buy a country seat.
Enter Calypso and Mentor.
Cal.
You settle here! I'll settle you and her too!
That in this isle such things should e'er occur too!
Euch.
Pray don't be angry with this gentleman—
I can explain.
Cal.
I make no doubt you can.
Tel.
Madam, be merciful!—she's very fair;
It had been so with you had you been there.
Cal.
Fair? she's as false as thou! Oh, fie upon her!
And then she calls herself a maid of honour!
Euch.
Away then with obedience to the wind,
I'll love my love wherever him I find;
Madam, without the slightest hesitation,
I beg to tender you my resignation.
Duet—Eucharis and Calypso—“Beggar's Opera.”
Euch.
Farewell, Queen Ca-lyp-so,
Your paltry wages scorning;
I'll pack my portmanteau,
And wish you a good morning.
Ca-lyp-so.
Your paltry wages scorning;
I'll pack my portmanteau,
And wish you a good morning.
Ca-lyp-so.
198
You're quite right, saucy maid,
In thus my wages scorning;
You've no right to be paid,
As you yourself gave warning.
Saucy maid.
In thus my wages scorning;
You've no right to be paid,
As you yourself gave warning.
Saucy maid.
(Exit Eucharis)
Ment.
(stopping Telemachus)
No, you don't follow her, so needn't try—
Go in! I'll talk to you, sir, by-and-bye;
First to the Queen I have a word to say—
And while the sun shines I must make my hay.
(Exit Telemachus)
Cal.
Knives, scissors, bodkins! he still sweet as sugar is
Upon that saucy slut—that minx, Miss Eucharis;
But if he won't wed me, he shan't wed her,
And that I swear by Styx! Come hither, sir!
It's clear you want Telemachus away—
I've not the slightest wish that he should stay.
To-morrow's paper treats of building ships,
I've got an early copy—in the slips—
And you shall have it.
Ment.
Thank you for the favour—
But I know everything.
Cal.
A walking Mavor!
Then build a ship like that in which you came.
Ment.
But where to find materials for the same?
Cal.
You said that you knew everything, you fool.
Ment.
That's the exception, ma'am, that proves the rule.
Cal.
Down by a cave, which forms a sort of limehouse,
There stands a poplar creep there like a sly mouse;
Cut the tree down, then up, and there remain
At work—but mind, let no one see you plane;
Behind the entrance to the cave on stools
You'll find a vast variety of tools;
And dipping in a box which never fails,
E'en at your fingers' ends you'll find some nails;
Work like a workman who has much to do,
And all you see in one you saw in two;
You'll soon get through it if you're not a dolt,
And when your wood-work's ready make a bolt.
If I have left no pitch upon the shelf,
Just put to sea—the ship will pitch itself.
199
Verbum sat sapienti. In a trice
I'll do it, madam—you shan't tell me twice.
Duet—Mentor and Calypso—“Se la vita”—“Semiramide.”
Ment.
To sea!
Cal.
To sea!
Ment.
To sea!
Cal.
Get out of this island,
You shan't live in my land,
Nor longer on dry land,
So now, sir, you know;
You've both made a blunder,
My vengeance you're under,
In lightning and thunder
Away you shall go.
You shan't live in my land,
Nor longer on dry land,
So now, sir, you know;
You've both made a blunder,
My vengeance you're under,
In lightning and thunder
Away you shall go.
Ment.
I laugh at your worry,
You're hotter than curry,
The cause of your flurry,
Young woman, I know;
There shan't be a slip, ma'am,
Between cup and lip, ma'am,
I'll just build that ship, ma'am,
And then off we go.
(aside)
You're hotter than curry,
The cause of your flurry,
Young woman, I know;
There shan't be a slip, ma'am,
Between cup and lip, ma'am,
I'll just build that ship, ma'am,
And then off we go.
I've beat her,
Cal.
(aside)
I have beat him;
Ment.
(aside)
I shall cheat her,
Cal.
(aside)
I shall cheat him.
(Exeunt Mentor and Calypso)
| Telemachus ; or, The Island of Calypso | |