University of Virginia Library

SCENE I.

—INTERIOR OF OLD MOTHER HUBBARD'S COTTAGE.

Sunset, with rural landscape, and old Manor-Hall in the distance.— Large practicable window.—Door and cupboard, both practicable. —Large old-fashioned fireplace at side, with wood-fire burning, and large kettle swinging above it.—Old kitchen clock, pointing nearly to the hour of five, table, and three chairs.

Rosetta discovered, with house-broom in her hand, gazing through window, on preparations going on for festivities—Peal of Bells heard ringing, as Curtain rises, then shouts of Villagers, bearing garlands and decked with holiday favors, who are seen to pass at the back of the stage.—Two Constables, a party of country folks, in a cart, drawn by a pony, &c., all going to welcome the new 'Squire.

Rosetta.
Ay! there they go, to look at me they scorn.
I am, alas! ‘a maiden all forlorn!’
Of one kind word I'm sure, when Jack goes by,
But then poor Jack is just as poor as I.
[More Villagers—more shouting.
They hasten on to welcome the young 'Squire
Of Rookwood Manor, left him by his sire.
To-morrow there's a feast and grand procession,
For then he comes of age, and takes possession.
[Shouts without, ‘Mad Dog!’—Rabid Music.—The Dog jumps in through the window with old tin-kettle tied to his tail.—He races rapidly round the stage, and then takes refuge at Rosetta's feet.
Poor dog! did naughty boys his head assail?
And did they tie tin-kettles to his tail?
[Releasing him, whilst Dog expresses gratitude.
Well, never mind them—he's a good old boys—
You are not so bad as they, with all their noise!
[Laying tea-things.
Its five o'clock—where can your mistress be?
You see I've got all ready for her tea.
[Music.—Dog goes to table, indicates tea-things, snatches Rosetta's apron, makes a parcel of it, and imitates the action of an old woman returning from market.
Oh! at the chandler's shop, you mean, she closer is,
Laying in all her little stock of groceries.
[Dog indicates the affirmative.
And whilst the Dame was there, the village throng
Tied that old kettle and chased you along?
[Dog nods.
Ah! she'll make them repent it, never fear.
The good old Dog! But see, the Dame is here!

Marked Music.—Dog goes to the door and pulls in Old Mother Hubbard, expressing extravagant signs of delight.—The dame has a large basket of parcels, tea, sugar, butter, &c., which she puts on the table, then fondles Dog, who expresses extravagant delight at her return.
Mother H.
The tiresome knaves, they won't leave us alone,
But I've got something for him—here's a bone.
[Goes to the cupboard, and finds plate on shelf empty.
Hollo! what's this? There was one here, I'm sure!
The cupboard's bare—so, you had known before!
[The Dog enjoys the fun.
I'm very angry! You may frisk along,
But this behaviour, sir, is very wrong.
Now, at the baker's, I must get some bread;
I've a good mind to bring a stick instead.

[Threatens Dog, who crouches down.—Exit Mother Hubbard.
Rosetta.
That mutton bone—'twas very bad to thieve;
You shouldn't take things without asking leave.
[Music.—Dog puts his paws together, and with a piteous, penitent how, and after a few seeming struggles, becomes apparently lifeless.
Good gracious me! It's really my belief,
The poor old Dog has gone and died of grief!

Mother Hubbard returns, with a loaf, which she puts on the table.
Mother H.
Well, here's the loaf—what's this?

Rosetta.
You well may start,
He took your angry words so much to heart,
That when you left, he pined, through grief, away.

Mother H.
Oh, dear! oh, dear! alas! alack-a-day!
That ever it should be! my poor old Dog!
Now to the undertaker's must I jog.
A lonely body here I'm left, i'fegs, again!
Just one more look! Ha, ha! he's on his legs again.
[Dog gets up and dances joyfully.
The rascal laughs! ha, ha! 'twas so abrupt, too.
I ought to have known the tricks he would be up to.
I've been so flurried, that, white wine or red,
A glass I must have—there! he's on his head.
[Dame gets wine from cupboard, and drinks.—Dog stands on his head.—Clock strikes five.
The funny fellow! Hark! the clock strikes five!
Dame Wiggins and Dame Trot will soon arrive.
I've asked them both to tea, just for a change;
We've got some private business to arrange.
They are generally punctual to the minute,
Look to the kettle—see there's water in it,
And mind it boils. Of tea I'll put enough in;
And here take this, I know they like a muffin!

[Mother Hubbard arranges tea-things, gives muffins to Rosetta, who goes to fireplace, takes stool, and sits down to toast them.—Dog amuses himself by looking out of the window—he then barks.
Mother H.
That bark announces some one—Dame Trot, is it her?
[Dog shakes his head.
Dame Wiggins, then, of Lee, my other visitor?

Dog nods, and goes to the door, through which enters Dame Wiggins, of Lee, attended by her Goose—the Dame has a rude country appearance, and behaves accordingly, without ceremony—they exchange a kiss of salutation, and Dame Wiggins puts her pattens and umbrella in the corner, over which Goose keeps guard.—Dame sits down, after taking off her outer cloak.—Dog returns to window.
Mother H.
You've had a good long walk here, as I guess, ma'am.
Glad of a cup of tea, I dare say?—

Dame W.
Yes, ma'am!
The road's be pratty well, but, with my goose, too,
I'm not so good at stiles, ma'am, as I used to.

[Dog barks.
Mother H.
Dame Trot! she comes from London by the stage,
I haven't seen the old lady for an age!

Music.—Enter Dame Trot and her Cat.—The Dame is very affected and ceremonious—she salutes the others, with great formality, by low obeisance, imitated by Dog and Cat, in the background.—Dame Trot takes her seat in very stately fashion.—Dog and Cat have a characteristic disagreement, but, under a threat of chastisement, peace is restored.—Mother Hubbard presides at the head of the table, and makes the tea.
Mother H.
A tedious journey, by the coach arriving;
A cup of tea, I know, will prove reviving,
Pray make yourselves at home—do you take cream, ma'am?
I hope I've made it sweet enough—just see, ma'am!

Dame T.
This beverage suits me mightily, I protest,
We folks of quality well know the best.
I vow that your brown bread is quite a treat.
A small French roll is all, in town, I eat.

Mother H.
Now bring the muffins; come, Rosetta, child!

[Rosetta hands them round, then places milk in basin, for Cat.
Dame T.
A comely-looking damsel! rather wild;
But then, she lacks the polish of the town.

Dame W.
Ah! thank ye, lass, I likes 'em thick and brown!

[Dame Wiggins possesses herself of a handful, which excites the visible horror of Dame Trot.—At a sign from Mother Hubbard, Rosetta retires.
Dame T.
[Aside.]
These country persons are so unrefined.

Mother H.
I hope your tea that both agreeable find.
Another?

[Handing muffin to Dame Trot.
Dame T.
Thanks, my appetite's departed,
I had a dish of chocolate ere I started.
[Rises—comes forward.
You must find this place dull in wint'ry weather,
When, with your Dog, you can't get out together.

[Mother Hubbard rises, and gets small dog's hat.
Mother H.
I went to buy him, yesterday, a hat.
Where is he? see he's feeding your good cat!
[Dog feeds Cat with a spoon.
The hosier's, too, supplied some good warm hose.
Behold him, there! he's dressed in his new clothes!
[The Dog, finding himself the subject of general attention, has got his wardrobe out of the lower part of the cupboard, and dressed himself accordingly.
He knows he's going on an expedition,
And, so, he's getting ready for his mission.
[Music.
The Dame made a curtsey, the Dog made a bow,
The Dame said, your servant, the Dog said—

Dog.
‘Bow-wow!’

[Dame Wiggins having ate to the last, rises, and comes to the front.
Dame W.
Well, I be pratty full—I can't eat more.

Mother H.
Then now to work, and get our business o'er.
You know, this meeting was some purpose meant for,
Now I'll inform you why you thus were sent for.
[Cat and Dog pay great attention at the back.—Mother Hubbard in centre, Dame Wiggins on one side, Dame Trot on the other.
SONG, Mother Hubbard.—Air, ‘Tippitiwichet.’

Cat.
Ah-cheu! at-cheu!

Dog.
Booh-wooh! booh-wooh!

Mother H.
They well know what we say.

Cat.
Atch ich-chew.

Mother H.
That's a rum un'.

Dog.
Booh-wooh.

Cat.
Atch-oo.

Mother H.
'Twill do.
We'll find out the riddle of the way.

Dame W.
I'll give thee a wind!

Mother H.
You will! that's very kind!

Dame T.
And I, disasters plentiful will find.
Trap him with pitfalls, when he hunting goes,
Which won't improve the outline of his nose.

Dame W.
I'll do the mischief to his crops, good mother.

Mother H.
Thanks, thanks! then I myself have all the other.
This night we'll to the witches' glen repair,
And let our sisters in the glory share.
My faithful Dog a message there shall carry.
Take this—you needn't for an answer tarry.
[Mother Hubbard writes on tablet, and fastens it to the Dog's collar.
So, so, sir 'Squire, what rest in peace we shan't do?
Burn witches, would you? which is what you can't do!

[Quick Music.—Tumult without—Villagers, with 'Squire, causing Jack to be dragged along by Constables, are seen to pass the window— the door is burst open, and they all come in—Rosetta, attracted by excitement, returns.—Cat and Goose quietly get out of the way. —Group.
Mother H.
Hollo! what's this? how now? you've come enough in.

Jack.
It's the 'Squire, here, says I'm a ragamuffin.
Because my coat ain't quite so good as his'n.
He threatens that he'll send me off to prison.
I work when I can get but wages fairish.

'Squire.
[Foppishly.]
I won't have any vagrants in my parish.
If dad gave wages you could get a meal with,
You'll find you have now a different chap to deal with.
Away with him, I say!

Mother H.
[Interposing.]
Your pardon, 'Squire,
This lad was a great favorite with your sire:
His good, kind heart, our village here well knows,
Don't punish him for wearing ragged clothes!
Whate'er he earns, amongst the poor he scatters,
Give tit for tat, but not that hit for tatters.

'Squire.
Have you the least idea, you beldame ugly,
To whom you are giving your advice so smugly?

Mother H.
To one who's just come into an estate,
It's very clear he can't appre-ci-ate.

[Constables whisper 'Squire.
'Squire.
I thought as much. This hag is an old witch.

Mother H.
If you're a gentleman, behave as sitch.

[Keeping him at a distance with her broom.
Rosetta.
[Crossing.]
Dear Jack, they dare not harm you; I know clearly
Your honest heart, and love you for it dearly.

'Squire.
So-ho! a rustic beauty—I'll console her;
You're much too pretty, lass, for such a stroller.
[Rosetta indignantly repulses him—'Squire advances to Mother Hubbard.
Here, tell my fortune by the grouts, and speak up;
What fate's in store, at the bottom of the tea-cup?

[Takes up tea-cup and hands it to her.
Mother H.
One you need not be proud of; here, I see
A disappointment, plain as plain can be.
In all your plans, good luck will not attend you,
Here is a stranger, too, who won't befriend you;
As for the rest—

'Squire.
Cease, hag, I'll hear no more.

Mother H.
You'll be more hated than you were before.

'Squire.
If I've bad fortune, first you shall partake of it.

Mother H.
Take it yourself, then see what you can make of it.

[Dashes contents of cup in 'Squire's face.
'Squire.
Come, burn the witch, and seize on her familiar.
At once we'll put her on the fire.

Mother H.
Oh! will yer?
Hey—presto—fly!
Dog springs through the window, upsetting Constables, who seize Mother Hubbard.
He's safe—the Dog defies you.
Don't you be too familiar, I advise you.

'Squire.
There are two more—at once seize every one of them.

Mother H.
Hey cockalorum jig—you now sees none of them.

[Dame Wiggins and Dame Trot disappear at each side in scene.
'Squire.
Foiled! desperation!—but this one shall rue it.

[Constables force Mother Hubbard towards the fire-place.
Mother H.
What ho! my broomstick! that's the way to do it.
Kettle, get up your steam, and blow a cloud—
This is my riot act to disperse a crowd!

[Music.—Mother Hubbard vanishes on her Broomstick up the chimney— kettle upsets over 'Squire and Constables, greatly to their discomfiture—cloud spread over stage, through which Mother Hubbard is seen, ascending on her Broomstick, and when it disappears, there is revealed.