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She wou'd if She cou'd

A Comedy. Acted at His Highness the Duke of York's Theater. Written by George Etherege
  
  

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ACT IV.
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51

ACT IV.

SCENE I.

A Dining-Room.
Enter Lady Cockwood.
La. Cock.
A lady cannot be too jealous of her servants
Love, this faithless and inconstant Age:
His amorous carriage to that prating Girl to day,
Though he pretends it was to blind Sir Oliver,
I fear will prove a certain sign of his revolted
Heart; the Letters I have counterfeited in these Girls
Name will clear all; if he accept of that appointment,
And refuses mine, I need not any longer doubt.
Enter Sentry.
Sentry, have the Letters
And Message been deliver'd; as I directed?

Sent.
Punctually, Madam; I knew they were to be
Found at the latter end of a Play, I sent a Porter
First with the Letter to Mr. Courtal, who
Was at the Kings-house, he sent for him out
By the Door-keeper, and deliver'd it into
His own hands.

La. Cock.
Did you keep on your Vizard, that
The Fellow might not know how to describe you?

Sent.
I did, Madam.

La. Cock.
And how did he receive it?

Sent.
Like a Traytor to all goodness, with
All the signs of joy imaginable.

La. Cock.
Be not angry, Sentry, 'tis as my heart
Wisht it: What did you do with the Letter to
Mr. Freeman? For I thought fit to deceive 'em both,
To make my Policy less suspicious to Courtal.

Sent.
The Porter found him at the Dukes-house,
Madam, and deliver'd it with like care.

La. Cock.
Very well.

Sent.
After the Letters were deliver'd, Madam,
I went my self to the Play-house, and sent in

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For Mr. Courtal, who came out to me immediately;
I told him your Ladiship presented your humble
Service to him, and that Sir Oliver was going
Into the City with Sir Joslin, to visit his Brother
Cockwood, and that it wou'd add much more
To your Ladiships happiness, if he wou'd be pleas'd
To meet you in Grays-Inn Walks this lovely Evening.

La. Cock.
And how did he entertain the motion?

Sent.
Bless me! I tremble still to think upon it!
I cou'd not have imagin'd he had been so wicked;
He counterfeited the greatest passion, railed at
His Fate, and swore a thousand horrid Oaths,
That since he came into the Play-house, he had
Notice of a business that concerned both his
Honor and Fortune; and that he was an undone
Man, if he did not go about it presently;
Pray'd me to desire your Ladiship to excuse
Him this Evening, and that to morrow he wou'd
Be wholly at your devotion.

La. Cock.
Ha, ha, ha! he little thinks how
Much he has oblig'd me.

Sent.
I had much ado to forbear upbraiding
Him with his ingratitude to your Ladiship.

La. Cock.
Poor Sentry! be not concern'd for
Me, I have conquer'd my Affection, and thou
Shalt find it is not Jealousie has been my Counsellor
In this. Go, let our Hoods and Masks be ready,
That I may surprise Courtal, and make the
Best advantage of this lucky opportunity.

Sent.
I obey you, Madam.
[Exit Sentry.

La. Cock.
How am I fill'd with indignation?
To find my person and my passion both despis'd,
And what is more so much precious time
Fool'd away in fruitless expectation: I wou'd
Poyson my face, so I might be reveng'd on
This ingrateful Villain.

Enter Sir Oliver.
Sir Oliv.
My Dearest!

La. Cock.
My Dearest Dear! prithee do
Not go into the City to night.

Sir Oliv.
My Brother Jolly is gone before,

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And I am to call him at Counsellor Trot's
Chamber in the Temple.

La. Cock.
Well, if you did but know the fear
I have upon me, when you are absent, you would
Not seek occasions to be from me thus.

Sir Oliv.
Let me comfort thee with a kiss;
What should'st thou be afraid of?

La. Cock.
I cannot but believe that every Woman
That sees thee must be in love with thee, as I am:
Do not blame my Jealousie.

Sir Oliv.
I protest I wou'd refuse a Countess
Rather then abuse thee, poor Heart.

La. Cock.
And then you are so desperate upon
The least occasion, I shou'd have acquainted
You else with something that concerns your Honor.

Sir Oliv.
My Honor! you ought in duty to do it.

La. Cock.
Nay, I knew how passionate you wou'd
Be presently; therefore you shall never know it.

Sir Oliv.
Do not leave me in doubt, I shall
Suspect every one I look upon; I will kill a
Common Council-Man or two before I come
Back, if you do not tell me.

La. Cock.
Dear, how I tremble! Will you
Promise me you will not quarrel then? if you tender
My life and happiness, I am sure you will not.

Sir Oliv.
I will bear any thing rather then be
An enemy to thy quiet, my Dear.

La. Cock.
I cou'd wish Mr. Courtal a man of better
Principles, because I know you love him, my Dear.

Sir Oliv.
Why, what has he done?

La. Cock.
I always treated him with great respects,
Out of my regard to your friendship; but he, like
An impudent man as he is, to day misconstruing
My Civility, in most unseemly language,
Made a foul attempt upon my Honor.

Sir Oliv.
Death, and Hell, and Furies, I will
Have my Pumps, and long Sword!

La. Cock.
Oh, I shall faint! did not you promise
Me you wou'd not be so rash?

Sir Oliv.
Well, I will not kill him, for fear of
Murdering thee, my Dear.


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La. Cock.
You may decline your Friendiship, and
By your coldness give him no encouragement
To visit our Family.

Sir Oliv.
I think thy advice the best for this once
Indeed; for it is not fit to publish such a bus'ness:
But if he shou'd be ever tempting or attempting,
Let me know it, prithee my Dear.

La. Cock.
If you moderate your self according
To my directions now, I shall never conceal
Any thing from you, that may increase your
Just opinion of my conjugal fidelity.

Sir Oliv.
Was ever man bless'd with such
A vertuous Lady! Yet cannot I forbear going a
[Aside.
Ranging agen. Now must I to the Spring Garden
To meet my Brother Jolly, and Madam Rampant.

La. Cock.
Prithee, be so good to think how
Melancholly I spend my time here; for I have
Joy in no company but thine, and let that
Bring thee home a little sooner.

Sir Oliv.
Thou hast been so kind in this discovery,
That I am loth to leave thee.

La. Cock.
I wish you had not been engag'd so far.

Sir Oliv.
Ay, that's it: Farewel, my vertuous Dear.
[Exit Sir Oliver.

La. Cock.
Farewel, my Dearest Dear. I know
He has not courage enough to question Courtal;
But this will make him hate him, encrease his
Confidence of me, and justifie my banishing that
False fellow our house; it is not fit a man that
Has abus'd my Love, shou'd come hither, and pry
Into my actions; besides, this will make his
Access more difficult to that wanton Baggage.
Enter Ariana and Gatty with their Hoods and Masks.
Whither are you going, Cosins?

Gat.
To take the Air upon the Water, Madam.

Aria.
And for variety, to walk a turn or two
In the new Spring-Garden.

La. Cock.
I heard you were gone abroad
With Mr. Courtal, and Mr. Freeman.


55

Gat.
For Heaven's sake, why shou'd your Ladiship
Have such an ill opinion of us?

La. Cock.
The truth is, before I saw you, I believ'd
It meerly the vanity of that prating man; Mr.
Courtal told Mistress Gazet this morning, that you
Were so well acquainted already, that you
Wou'd meet him and Mr. Freeman any where,
And that you had promis'd 'em to receive.
And make appointment by Letters.

Gat.
Oh impudent man!

Aria.
Now you see the consequence, Sister,
Of our rambling; they have rais'd this false story
From our innocent fooling with 'em in the
Mulberry-Garden last night.

Gat.
I cou'd almost forswear ever speaking
To a Man agen.

La. Cock.
Was Mr. Courtal in the Mulberry-
Garden last night?

Aria.
Yes, Madam.

La. Cock.
And did he speak to you?

Gat.
There pass'd a little harmless Raillery
Betwixt us; but you amaze me, Madam.

Aria.
I cou'd not imagine any man could
Be thus unworthy.

La. Cock.
He has quite lost my good opinion
Too: In duty to Sir Oliver, I have hitherto show'd
Him some countenance; but I shall hate him
Hereafter for your sakes. But I detain you from
Your Recreations, Cosins.

Gat.
We are very much oblig'd to your
Ladiship for this timely notice.

Aria. Gat.
Your Servant, Madam.
[Ex. Ariana and Gatty.

La. Cock.
Your servant, Cosins—in the
Mulberry-Garden last night! when I sat languishing,
And vainly expecting him at home: This has
Incens'd me so, that I could kill him. I am glad
These Girls are gone to the Spring-Garden, it
Helps my design; the Letters I have counterfeited,
Have appointed Courtal and Freeman to meet
Them there, they will produce 'em, and confirm
All I have said: I will daily poyson these Girls

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With such lies as shall make their quarrel to
Courtal irreconcileable, and render Freeman
Onely suspected; for I wou'd not have him
Thought equally guilty: He secretly began
To make an address to me at the Bear, and
This breach shall give him an opportunity
To pursue it.

Enter Sentry.
Sent.
Here are your things, Madam.

La. Cock.
That's well: Oh Sentry! I shall once
More be happy; for now Mr. Courtal has given
Me an occasion, that I may without ingratitude
Check his unlawful passion, and free my self
From the trouble of an Intrigue, that gives me
Everyday such fearful apprehensions of my honor.

[Exit Lady Cockwood and Sentry.

SCENE II.

New Spring-Garden.
Enter Sir Joslin, Rake-hell, and Waiter.
Wait.
Will you be pleas'd to walk into
An Arbor, Gentlemen?

Sir Jos.
By and by, good Sir.

Rake.
I wonder Sir Oliver is not come yet.

Sir Jos.
Nay, he will not fail I warrant thee,
Boy; but what's the matter with thy Nose,
My little Rake-hel?

Rake.
A foolish accident; jesting at the Fleece
This Afternoon, I mistook my man a little, a dull
Rogue that could not understand Raillery,
Made a sudden Repertee with a Quart-pot,
Sir Joslin.

Sir Jos.
Why didst not thou stick him to the
Wall, my little Rake-hell?

Rake.
The truth is, Sir Joslin, he deserv'd it;
But look you, in case of a doubtful wound,
I am unwilling to give my friends too often the
Trouble to bail me; and if it shou'd be

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Mortal, you know a younger Brother has
Not wherewithal to rebate the edge of a
Witness, and mollifie the hearts of a Jury.

Sir Jos.
This is very prudently consider'd indeed.

Rake.
'Tis time to be wise, Sir; my courage has
Almost run me out of a considerable annuity.
When I liv'd first about this Town, I agreed
With a Surgeon for Twenty pounds a Quarter
To cure me of all the Knocks, Bruises, and
Green Wounds I shou'd receive, and in one half
Year the poor Fellow beg'd me to be releas'd
Of his bargain, and swore I wou'd undo him
Else in Lint and Balsom.

Enter Sir Oliver.
Sir Jos.
Ho! here's my Brother Cockwood come—

Sir Oliv.
I, Brother Jolly, I have kept my word,
You see; but 'tis a barbarous thing to abuse my
Lady, I have had such a proof of her Vertue,
I will tell thee all anon.
But where's Madam Rampant, and the rest of
The Ladies, Mr. Rake-hell?

Rake.
Faith, Sir, being disappointed at noon,
They were unwilling any more to set a certainty
At hazard: 'Tis Term-time, and they have
Severally betook themselves, some to their
Chamber-practice, and others to the places
Of Publick Pleading.

Sir Oliv.
Faith, Brother Jolly, let us ev'n go into
An Arbor. and then fegue Mr. Rake-hell.

Sir Jos.
With all my heart, wou'd we had
Madam Rampant.
Sings.
She's as frolick and free,
As her Lovers dare be,
Never aw'd by a foolish Punctilio;
She'll not start from her place,
Though thou nam'st a black Ace,
And will drink a Beer-Glass to Spudilio.

58

Hey, Boys! Come, come, come! let's in.
And delay our sport no longer.

Exit singing, She'll not start from her, &c.
Enter Courtal and Freeman severally.
Court.
Freeman!

Free.
Courtal, what the Devil's the matter with
Thee? I have observ'd thee prying up and down
The Walks like a Citizen's Wife that has dropt
Her Holiday Pocket handkercher.

Court.
What unlucky Devil has brought thee hither?

Free.
I believe a better natur'd Devil then yours,
Courtal, if a Leveret be better Meat then an old
Puss, that has been cours'd by most of the young
Fellows of her Country: I am not working my
Brain for a Counter-plot, a disappointment is not
My bus'ness.

Court.
You are mistaken, Freeman: Prithee be
Gone, and leave me the Garden to my self, or I
Shall grow as testy as an old Fowler that is put
By his shoot, after he has crept half a mile
Upon his belly.

Free.
Prithee be thou gone, or I shall take it as
Unkindly as a Chymist wou'd, if thou should'st
Kick down his Limbeck in the very minute
That he look'd for projection.

Court.
Come, come, you must yield, Freeman,
Your bus'ness cannot be of such consequence as mine.

Free.
If ever thou hadst a bus'ness of such
Consequence in thy life as mine is, I will condescend
To be made incapable of affairs presently.

Court.
Why, I have an appointment made me,
Man, without my seeking, by a Woman for
Whom I wou'd have mortgag'd my whole
Estate to have had her abroad but to break
A Cheese-cake.

Free.
And I have an appointment made me without
My seeking too, by such a she, that I will break the
Whole Ten Commandments, rather then
Disappoint her of her breaking one.

Court.
Come, you do but jest, Freeman, a forsaken
Mistress cou'd not be more malicious then thou
Art: Prithee be gone.


59

Free.
Prithee do thou be gone.

Court.
'Sdeath! the sight of thee will scare
My Woman for ever.

Free.
'Sdeath! the sight of thee will make my
Woman believe me the falsest Villain breathing.

Court.
We shall stand fooling, till we are both
Undone, and I know not how to help it.

Free.
Let us proceed honestly like Friends,
Discover the truth of things to one another, and
If we cannot reconcile our bus'ness, we will
Draw Cuts, and part fairly.

Court.
I do not like that way; for talk is onely
Allowable at the latter end of an Intrigue, and
Shou'd never be us'd at the beginning of an
Amor, for fear of frighting a young Lady from
Her good intentions—yet I care not, though I
Read the Letter, but I will conceal the name.

Free.
I have a Letter too, and am content
To do the same.

Court.
Reads.
Sir, in sending you this Letter, I
Proceed against the modesty of our Sex—

Free.
'Sdeath, this begins just like my Letter.

Court.
Do you read on then—

Free.
Reads.
But let not the good opinion I have
Conceiv'd of you, make you too severe in your
Censuring of me—

Court.
Word for word.

Free.
Now do you read agen

Court.
Reads.
If you give your self the trouble to be
Walking in the new Spring-Garden this Evening, I
Will meet you there, and tell you a secret, which
I have reason to fear, because it comes to your
Knowledge by my means, will you make you hate
Your humble Servant.

Free.
Verbatim my Letter, Hey-day!

Court.
Prithee lets compare the hands.

[They compare 'em.
Free.
'Sdeath, the hand's the same.

Court.
I hope the name is not the same too—

Free.
If it be, we are finely jilted, faith.

Court.
I long to be undeceiv'd; prithee do
Thou show first, Freeman.


60

Free.
No—but both together, if you will.

Court.
Agreed.

Free.
Ariana.

Court.
Gatty—Ha, ha, ha.

Free.
The little Rogues are masculine in their
Proceedings, and have made one another
Confidents in their Love.

Court.
But I do not like this altogether so well,
Franck; I wish they had appointed us several
Places: For though 'tis evident they have
Trusted one another with the bargain, no
Woman ever Seals before Witness.

Free.
Prithee how didst thou escape the snares
Of the old Devil this Afternoon?

Court.
With much ado: Sentry had set me; if her
Ladiship had got me into her clutches, there
Had been no getting off without a rescue,
Or paying down the Money; for she
Always Arrests upon Execution.

Free.
You made a handsom lie to her Woman.

Court.
For all this, I know she's angry; for she
Thinks nothing a just excuse in these cases,
Though it were to save the forfeit of a Mans
Estate, or reprieve the life of her own
Natural Brother.

Free.
Faith, thou hast not done altogether like
A Gentleman with her; thou should'st fast thy
Self up to a stomach now and then, to oblige
Her; if there were nothing in it, but the hearty
Welcome, methinks 'twere enough to make thee
Bear sometimes with the homeliness of the fare.

Court.
I know not what I might do in a Camp,
Where there were no other Woman; but I shall
Hardly in this Town, where there is such plenty,
Forbear good meat, to get my self an
Appetite to Hors-flesh.

Free.
This is rather an aversion in thee, then any
Real fault in the Woman; if this lucky bus'ness
Had not fallen out, I intended with your good
Leave to have out-bid you for her Ladiships
Favor.

Court.
I should never have consented to that, Franck;

61

Though I am a little resty at present, I am not such
A Jade, but I should strain if another rid against
Me; I have e'er now lik'd nothing in a Woman
That I have lov'd at last in spight onely,
Because another had a mind to her.

Free.
Yonder are a couple of Vizards tripping
Towards us.

Court.
'Tis they, i'faith.

Free.
We need not divide, since they come together.

Court.
I was a little afraid when we compar'd
Letters, they had put a trick upon us; but now I
Am confirm'd they are mighty honest.

Enter Ariana and Gatty.
Aria.
We cannot avoid 'em.

Gat.
Let us dissemble our knowledge of their
Bus'ness a little, and then take 'em down in
The height of their assurance.

Court., Free.
Your Servant, Ladies.

Aria.
I perceive it is as impossible, Gentlemen,
To walk without you, as without our shadows;
Never were poor Women so haunted by the
Ghosts of their self-murdered Lovers.

Gat.
If it should be our good Fortunes to have
You in love with us, we will take care you
Shall not grow desperate, and leave the
World in an ill humor.

Aria.
If you shou'd, certainly your ghosts
Would be very malicious.

Court.
'Twere pitty you should have your Curtains
Drawn in the dead of the night, and your pleasing
Slumbers interrupted by any thing but flesh
And blood, Ladies.

Free.
Shall we walk a turn?

Aria.
By your selves, if you please.

Gat.
Our company may put a constraint upon
You; for I find you daily hover about these
Gardens, as a Kite does about a backside,
Watching an opportunity to catch up the Poultry.

Aria.
Wo be to the Daughter or Wife of some
Merchant-Taylor, or poor Felt-maker now;
For you seldom row to Fox-hall without

62

Some such Plot against the City.

Free.
You wrong us, Ladies, our bus'ness has
Happily succeeded, since we have the
Honor to wait upon you.

Gat.
You could not expect to see us here.

Court.
Your true Lover, Madam, when he misses
His Mistress, is as restless as a Spaniel that has
Lost his Master; he ranges up and down
The Plays, the Park, and all the Gardens, and
Never stays long, but where he has the
Happiness to see her.

Gat.
I suppose your Mistress, Mr. Courtal, is
Always the last Woman you are acquainted with.

Court.
Do not think, Madam, I have that false
Measure of my acquaintance, which Poets have
Of their Verses, always to think the last best,
Though I esteem you so, in justice to your merit.

Gat.
Or if you do not love her best, you always
Love to talk of her most; as a barren Coxcomb
That wants discourse, is ever entertaining
Company out of the last Book he read in.

Court.
Now you accuse me most unjustly, Madam;
Who the Devil, that has common sense, will go a
Birding with a Clack in his Cap?

Aria.
Nay, we do not blame you, Gentlemen,
Every one in their way; a Huntsman talks of his
Dogs, a Falconer of his Hawks, a Jocky of
His Horse, and a Gallant of his Mistress.

Gat.
Without the allowance of this Vanity, an
Amor would soon grow as dull as Matrimony.

Court.
Whatsoever you say, Ladies, I cannot
Believe you think us men of such abominable
Principles.

Free.
For my part, I have ever held it as ingrateful
To boast of the favors of a Mistress, as to deny
The courtesies of a Friend.

Court.
A Friend that bravely ventures his life in
The field to serve me, deserves but equally with
A Mistress that kindly exposes her Honor to
Oblige me, especially when she does it as
Generously too, and with as little ceremony.

Free.
And I would no more betray the Honor

63

Of such a Woman, then I would the life of a
Man that shou'd rob on purpose to supply me.

Gat.
We believe you Men of Honor, and know
It is below you to talk of any Woman that deserves it.

Aria.
You are so generous, you seldom insult
After a Victory.

Gat.
And so vain, that you always triumph
Before it.

Court.
'Sdeath! what's the meaning of all this?

Gat.
Though you find us so kind, Mr. Courtal,
Pray do not tell Mistress Gazet to morrow, that
We came hither on purpose this Evening
To meet you.

Court.
I wou'd as soon Print it, and fee a Fellow
To post it up with the Play-bills.

Gat.
You have repos'd a great deal of confidence
In her, for all you pretend this ill opinion
Of her secrecy now.

Court.
I never trusted her with the name of a
Mistress, that I should be jealous of, if I saw her
Receive fruit, and go out of the Play-
House with a stranger.

Gat.
For ought as I see, we are infinitely
Oblig'd to you, Sir.

Court.
'Tis impossible to be insensible of so
Much goodness, Madam.

Gat.
What goodness, pray Sir?

Court.
Come, come, give over this Raillery.

Gat.
You are so ridiculously unworthy, that 'twere
A folly to reprove you with a serious look.

Court.
On my Conscience, your heart begins to
Fail you now we are coming to the point, as a
Young Fellow's that was never in the field before.

Gat.
You begin to amaze me.

Court.
Since you your self sent the challenge,
You must not in Honor flie off now.

Gat.
Challenge! Oh Heavens! this confirms
All: Were I a Man, I would kill thee for the
Injuries thou hast already done me.

Free.
to Aria.
Let not your suspicion of my
Unkindness make you thus scrupulous; was ever
City ill treated, that surrendred without Assault

64

Or Summons?

Aria.
Dear Sister, what ill spirit brought us
Hither? I never met with so much impudence
In my life.

Court.
aside.
Hey Jilts! they are as good as it
Already, as the old one i'faith.

Free.
Come, Ladies, you have exercis'd your
Wit enough; you wou'd not venture Letters
Of such consequence for a jest onely.

Gat.
Letters! Bless me, what will this come to?

Court.
To that none of us shall have cause to
Repent I hope, Madam.

Aria.
Let us flie 'em, Sister, they are Devils,
And not men, they could never be so
Malicious else.

Enter Lady Cockwood and Sentry.
La. Cock.
Your Servant, Cosins.

Court.
starting.
Ho my Lady Cockwood! My ears
Are grown an inch already.

Aria.
My Lady! She'll think this an appointment,
Sister.

Free.
This is Madam Matchiavil, I suspect, Courtal.

Court.
Nay, 'tis her plot doubtless: Now am I
As much out of countenance, as I should be if Sir Oliver
Should take me making bold with her Ladiship.

La. Cock.
Do not let me discompose you,
I can walk alone, Cosins.

Gat.
Are you so uncharitable, Madam, to think
We have any business with 'em?

Aria.
It has been our ill fortune to meet 'em
Here, and nothing could be so lucky as your
Coming, Madam, to free us from 'em

Gat.
They have abus'd us in the grossest manner.

Aria.
Counterfeited Letters under our hands.

La. Cock.
Never trouble your selves, Cosins, I
Have heard this is a common practice with such
Unworthy men: Did they not threaten to divulge
Them, and defame you to the World?

Gat.
We cannot believe they intend any thing
Less, Madam.


65

La. Cock.
Doubtless, they had such a mean opinion
Of your Wit and Honor, that they thought to
Fright you to a base compliance with their
Wicked purposes.

Aria.
I hate the very sight of 'em.

Gat.
I could almost wish my self a disease, to
Breathe infection upon 'em.

Court.
Very pretty! we have carried on our designs
Very luckily against these young Ladies.

Free.
We have lost their good opinion for ever.

La. Cock.
I know not whether their folly or their
Impudence be greater, they are not worth your
Anger, they are onely fit to be laught at, and despis'd.

Court.
A very fine old Devil this!

La. Cock.
Mr. Freeman, this is not like a Gentleman,
To affront a couple of young Ladies thus; but I
Cannot blame you so much, you are in a manner a
Stranger to our Family: But I wonder how that
Base man can look me in the face, considering
How civilly he has been treated at our house.

Court.
The truth is, Madam, I am a Rascal; but I
Fear you have contributed to the making me so:
Be not as unmerciful as the Devil is to a poor sinner.

Sent.
Did you ever see the like? Never trust
Me, if he has not the confidence to make my
Vertuous Lady accessary to his wickedness.

La. Cock.
Ay Sentry! 'tis a miracle, if my Honor
Escapes, considering the access which his greatness
With Sir Oliver has given him daily to me.

Free.
Faith, Ladies, we did not counterfeit these
Letters, we are abus'd as well as you.

Court.
I receiv'd mine from a Porter at the Kings
Play-house, and I will show it you, that you may
See if you know the hand.

La. Cock.
Sentry, are you sure they never saw
Any of your Writing?

Court.
'Sdeath! I am so discompos'd, I know
Not where I have put it.

Sent.
Oh Madam! now I remember my self,
Mistress Gatty help'd me once to indite a Letter
To my Sweet-heart.

La. Cock.
Forgetful Wench! then I am undone.


76

Court.
Oh here it is—Hey, who's here?

[As he has the Letter in hand, enter Sir Joslin, Sir Oliver, and Rake-hell, all drunk, with Musick.

They sing.
She's no Mistress of mine
That drinks not her Wine,
Or frowns at my Friends drinking motions;
If my Heart thou would'st gain,
Drink thy Bottle of Champaign.
'Twill serve thee for Paint and Love-potions.

Sir Oliv.
Who's here? Courtal, in my Ladies
Company! I'll dispatch him presently;
Help me, Brother Jolly.

He draws.
La. Cock.
For Heavens sake, Sir Oliver!

Courtal
drawing.
What do you mean, Sir?

Sir Oliv.
I'll teach you more manners, then
To make your attempts on my Lady, Sir.

La. Cock. and Sent.
Oh! Murder, Murder!

[They shriek.
La. Cock.
Save my dear Sir Oliver, Oh my
Dear Sir Oliver!

[The young Ladies shriek and run out, they all draw to part 'em, they fight off the Stage, she shrieks and runs out.