University of Virginia Library

SCENE I.

The New Exchange.
Mistress Trinckit sitting in a Shop, People passing by as in the Exchange.
Mrs. Trinc.
What d'ye buy? What d'ye lack, Gentlemen?
Gloves, Ribbons, and Essences; Ribbons,
Gloves, and Essences?
Enter Mr. Courtal.
Mr. Courtal! I thought you had a quarrel
To the Change, and were resolv'd we should never
See you here again.

Court.
Your unkindness indeed, Mrs. Trincket, had
Been enough to make a man banish himself
For ever.

Enter Mrs. Gazet.
Trinc.
Look you, yonder comes fine Mrs. Gazet, thither
You intended your visit, I am sure.

Gaz.
Mr. Courtal! Your servant.

Court.
Your servant, Mistress Gazet.

Gaz.
This happiness was onely meant to
Mistress Trinckit, had it not been my good fortune
To pass by, by chance, I should have lost
My share on't.

Court.
This is too cruel, Mistress Gazet, when all the
Unkindness is on your side, to rally your servant
Thus.

Gaz.
I vow this tedious absence of yours, made
Me believe you intended to try an experiment
On my poor heart, to discover that hidden secret,
How long a despairing Lover may languish
Without the sight of the party.

Court.
You are always very pleasant on this
Subject, Mistress Gazet.

Gaz.
And have not you reason to be soo?

Court.
Not that I know of.

Gaz.
Yes, you hear the good news.

Court.
What good news?

Gaz.
How well this dissembling becomes you?
But now I think better on't, it cannot
Concern you, you are more a Gentleman, than
To have an amor last longer than an Easter
Term with a Countrey Lady; and yet there
Are some, I see, as well in the Countrey, as in
The City, that have a pretty way of Huswifing
A Lover, and can spin an intrigue out a great
Deal farther, than others are willing to do.

Court.
What pretty art have they, good Mistress Gazet?

Gaz.
When Tradesmen see themselves in an ill
Condition, and are afraid of breaking, can they do
Better than to take in a good substantial
Partner, to help to carry on their trading?

Court.
Sure you have been at Riddle me, riddle me,
Lately, you are so wondrous witty.

Gaz.
And yet I believe my Lady Cockwood is so
Haughty, she had rather give over the vanity of an
Intrigue, than take in a couple of young
Handsome Kinswomen to help to maintain it.

Court.
I knew it would out at last; indeed it is the
Principle of most good women that love Gaming,
When they begin to grow a little out of play
Themselves, to make an interest in some
Young Gamester or other, in hopes to rook
A favor now and then: But you are quite out
In your policy, my Lady Cockwood is none of
These, I assure you—
Heark you, Mistress Gazet, you must needs bestir
Your self a little for me this morning, or else
Heaven have mercy on a poor sinner.

Gaz.
I hope this wicked woman has no design
Upon your body already: Alas! I pity your
Tender Conscience.

Court.
I have always made thee my Confident, and
Now I come to thee as to a Faithful Counsellor.

Gaz.
State your Case.

Court.
Why, this Ravenous Kite is upon Wing already,
Is fetching a little compass, and will be
Here within this half hour to swoop me
Away.

Gaz.
And you would have me your Scar-Crow?

Court.
Something of that there is in't; she is still
Your customer.

Gaz.
I have furnish'd her, and the young Ladies, with
A few fashionable toys since they came
To Town, to keep 'em in countenance at a
Play, or in the Park.

Court.
I would have thee go immediately to the
Young Ladies, and by some device or other
Intice 'em hither.

Gaz.
I came just now from taking measure of 'em
For a couple of Handkerchiefs.

Court.
How unlucky's this

Gaz.
They were calling for their Hoods and Scarfs,
And are coming hither to lay out a little Money
In Ribbons and Essences: I have recommended
Them to Mistress Trinckits Shop here.

Court.
This falls out more luckily than what I had
Contriv'd my self, or could have done, for here
Will they be busie just before the Door, where
We have made our appointment: But if this
Long-wing'd Devil should chance to truss me
Before they come.

Gaz.
I will onely step up and give some directions
To my Maid, about a little bus'ness that is in
Haste, and come down again and watch her; if you
Are snap'd, I'll be with you presently, and rescue
You I warrant you, or at least stay you till
More company come: She dares not force you
Away in my sight; she knows I am great with
Sir Oliver, and as malicious a Devil as the best
Of 'em—Your servant, Sir.
[Ex. Gazet.

Enter Freeman.
Court.
Freeman! 'Tis well you are come.

Free.
Well! what counter-plot? what hopes of
Dis-appointing the old, and of seeing the young
Ladies? I am ready to receive your Orders.

Court.
Faith, things are not so well contriv'd as I
Could have wish'd 'em, and yet I hope by
The help of Mistress Gazet to keep my word,
Franck.

Free.
Nay, now, I know what tool thou hast made
Choice of, I make no question but the bus'ness
Will go well forward; but I am afraid
This last unlucky bus'ness has so distasted
These young Trouts, they will not be so easily
Tickl'd as they might have been.

Court.
Never fear it; whatsoever women say, I am sure
They seldom think the worse of a man, for
Running at all, 'tis a sign of youth and high
Mettal, and makes them rather piquee, who shall
Tame him: That which troubles me most, is, we
Lost the hopes of variety, and a single intrigue
In Love, is as dull as a single Plot in a Play,
And will tire a Lover worse, than t'other does
An Audience.

Free.
We cannot be long without some under-plots
In this Town, let this be our main design,
And if we are any thing fortunate in our contrivance,
We shall make it a pleasant Comedy.

Court.
Leave all things to me, and hope the best:
Be gone, for I expect their coming immediately;
Walk a turn or two above, or fool a while
With pretty Mistress Anvil, and scent your Eye-brows
And Perriwig with a little Essence of Oranges,
Or Jessimine; and when you see us all together
At Mistress Gazets Shop, put in as it were by chance:
I protest yonder comes the old Haggard, to your
Post quickly! 'Sdeath, where's Gazet and these
Young Ladies now?
[Ex. Free.
Entry Lady Cockwood, and Sentry.
O Madam, I have waited here at least an hour, and
Time seems very tedious, when it delays so great
A happiness as you bring with you.

La. Cock.
I vow, Sir, I did but stay to give Sir Oliver
His due correction for those unseemly injuries
He did me last night. Is your Coach ready?

Court
Yes, Madam: But how will you dispose of
Your Maid?

La. Cock.
My Maid! For Heavens sake, what do you
Mean, Sir? Do I ever use to go abroad without her?

Court.
'Tis upon no design, Madam, I speak it,
Assure you; but my Glass-Coach broke last night,
And I was forc'd to bring my Chariot, which can hold
But two.

La. Cock.
O Heaven! you must excuse me, dear Sir,
For I shall deny my self the sweetest recreations
In the World, rather than yield to any thing that
May bring a blemish upon my spotless Honor.

Enter Gazet.
Gaz.
Your humble servant, Madam.
Your servant, Master Courtal.

Lady and Court.
Your servant, Mistress Gazet.

Gaz.
I am extream glad to see your Ladiship here,
I intended to send my Maid to your Lodgings
This Afternoon, Madam, to tell you I have a
Parcel of new Lace come in, the prettiest Patterns
That ever were seen; for I am very desirous so
Good a Customer as your Ladiship should see 'em
First, and have your choice

La. Cock.
I am much beholding to you, Mistress Gazet,
I was newly come into the Exchange, and intended
To call at your Shop before I went home.

Enter Ariana and Gatty, Gazet goes to them.
Court.
'Sdeath, here are your Cosins too! now there
Is no hope left for a poor unfortunate
Lover to comfort himself withal.

Aria., Gatty.
Your servant, Madam.

La. Cock
I am newly come into the Exchange, and
By chance met with Master Courtal here, who will needs
Give himself the trouble, to play the Gallant, and
Wait upon me.

Gatty.
Does your Ladiship come to buy?

La. Cock.
A few trifles; Mistress Gazet says she has a
Parcel of very fine new Laces, shall we go look
Upon 'em?

Aria.
We will onely fancy a suit of Knots or two
At this Shop, and buy a little Essence, and wait
Upon your Ladiship immediately.

Gat.
Mistress Gazet, you are skill'd in the fashion, pray
Let our choice have your approbation.

All go to the Shop to look upon Ware, but Courtal, and Lady Cockwood.
Gaz.
Most gladly, Madam.

Court.
'Sdeath, Madam, if you had made no ceremony,
But stept into the Coach presently, we had escap'd this
Mischief.

La. Cock.
My over-tenderness of my honor, has
Blasted all my hopes of happiness.

Court.
To be thus unluckily surpriz'd in the height
Of all our expectation, leaves me no patience.

La. Cock.
Moderate your passion a little, Sir, I may
Yet find out a way.

Court.
Oh 'tis impossible, Madam, never think on't
Now you have been seen with me; to leave 'em upon
Any pretence will be so suspicious, that my concern
For your honor will make me so feverish and
Disordered, that I shall lose the taste of all the
Happiness you give me.

La. Cock.
Methinks you are too scruplous, Heroick Sir.

Court.
Besides the concerns I have for you, Madam;
You know the obligations I have to Sir Oliver,
And what professions of friendship there are on
Both sides; and to be thought perfidious and ingrateful,
What an affliction would that be to a generous spirit!

La. Cock.
Must we then unfortunately part thus?

Court.
Now I have better thought on't, that is not
Absolutely necessary neither.

La. Cock.
These words revive my dying joys,
Dear Sir, go on.

Court.
I will by and by, when I see it most convenient,
Beg the favor of your Ladiship, and your
Young Kinswomen, to accept of a Treat, and
A Fiddle; you make some little difficulty at
First, but upon earnest perswasion comply, and
Use your interest to make the young Ladies
Do so too: Your company will secure their
Reputations, and their company take off from
You all suspition.

La. Cock.
The natural inclination they have to be
Jigging will make them very ready to comply:
But what advantage can this be to our
Happiness, dear Sir?

Court.
Why, first, Madam, if the young Ladies, or
Mistress Gazet have any doubts upon their surprizing
Us together, our joyning company will clear 'em
All; next, we shall have some satisfaction
In being an afternoon together, though we enjoy
Not that full freedom we so passionately
Desire.

La. Cock.
Very good, Sir.

Court.
But then lastly, Madam, we gain an opportunity
To contrive another appointment to morrow,
Which may restore us unto all those joys
We have been so unfortunately disappointed
Of to day.

La. Cock.
This is a very prevailing Argument
Indeed; but since Sir Oliver believes I have
Conceiv'd so desperate a sorrow, 'tis fit we
Should keep this from his knowledge.

Court.
Are the young Ladies secret?

La. Cock.
They have the good Principles not
To betray themselves, I assure you.

Court.
Then 'tis but going to a house that is
Not haunted by the Company, and we are secure,
And now I think on't, the Bear in Drury-lane is
The fittest place for our purpose.

La. Cock.
I know your Honor, dear Sir, and
Submit to your discretion—
Have you gratifi'd your Fancies, Cousins?

[To them Ariana, Gatty, and Gazet, from the Shop.
Aria.
We are ready to wait upon you, Madam.

Gat.
I never saw colours better mingled.

Gaz.
How lively they set off one another, and
How they add to the complexion!

La. Cock.
Mr. Courtal, your most humble Servant.

Court.
Pray, Madam, let me have the Honor
To wait upon you and these young Ladies,
Till I see you in your Coach.

La. Cock.
Your friendship to Sir Oliver would
Engage you in an unnecessary trouble.

Aria.
Let not an idle Ceremony take you from
Your serious bus'ness, good Sir.

Gat.
I should rather have expected to have seen
You, Sir, walking in Westminster-Hall, watching
To make a Match at Tennis, or waiting to
Dine with a Parliament-man, then to meet
You in such an idle place as the Exchange is.

Court.
Methinks, Ladies, you are well
Acquainted with me upon the first visit.

Aria.
We received your Character before, you
Know, Sir, in the Mulberry-Garden upon Oath.

Court.
aside.
'Sdeath, what shall I do?
Now out comes all my Roguery.

Gat.
Yet I am apt to believe, Sister, that was
Some malicious fellow that wilfully perjur'd
Himself, on purpose to make us have an
Ill opinion of this worthy Gentleman.

Court.
Some rash men would be apt enough
To enquire him out, and cut his Throat, Ladies,
But I heartily forgive him whosoever he was;
For on my Conscience 'twas not so much out
Of malice to me, as out of love to you he did it.

Gaz.
He might imagine Mr. Courtal was his Rival.

Court.
Very likely, Mistress Gazet.

La. Cock.
Whosoever he was, he was an unworthy
Fellow I warrant him; Mr. Courtal is known
To be a Person of Worth and Honor.

Aria.
We took him for an idle Fellow, Madam,
And gave but very little credit to what he said.

Court.
'Twas very obliging, Lady, to believe
Nothing to the disadvantage of a stranger—
What a couple of young Devils are these?

La. Cock.
Since you are willing to give
Your self this trouble.

Court.
I ought to do my duty, Madam.

[Exeunt all but Ariana and Gatty.
Aria.
How he blush'd, and hung down his head!

Gat.
A little more had put him as much out
Of countenance, as a Country Clown is
When he ventures to complement
His Attorney's Daughter.

They follow.