University of Virginia Library

ACT IV.

SCENE I.

Enter DIABOLUS and the PARASITE, with a writing.
DIABOLUS.
Shew me the writing which you have drawn up
Between myself, my mistress and the bawd—
Read the conditions—You I know to be,
In an affair like this, a choice contriver—

Par.
When the conditions she shall hear, the bawd
Will be quite frightned—

Dia.
Read them to me then.

Par.
Give your attention, sir.

Dia.
Well, well, I do—

Par.
[reading.]
“Diabolus the son of Glaucus gives
“Cleæreta full twenty silver minæ;
“On this condition, that Philenium
“Give him her company, the whole year round,
“Both night and day.”

Dia.
And also not to be
With any other.

Par.
What, shall I add that?

Dia.
Yes—and be sure you make it plain and clear.

Par.
[after having wrote.]
“That she admit into her company
“No other man, under pretence of being
“Or friend, or patron—”

Dia.
No one whatsoever.

Par.
“No, nor yet any one whom she may call
“The lover of her friend—And that her doors
“To all men, you excepted, be kept shut
“And that she write thereon, she's not at leisure—
“And that, to cut off from her all pretence,
“There shall be found no letter in the house,
“Nor yet a tablet smear'd with wax, to write on.
“That every useless picture she shall sell—
“And that, if four days after she received
“Money from you, she parts not with it, yours
“'Tis to be deem'd, to burn it if you choose—
“That no materials be in her possession
“To write on tablets—That she shall invite
“No guest to supper, but leave that to you—
“That to no guest she ever shall direct
“Her eyes—And that if any other man
“She has look'd at, she forthwith be blind to him.
“That she drink cup for cup with you—That she
“Always from you receive the cup; and when
“You drink, she tender it to you—And that
“She drink nor more nor less than you—”

Dia.
'Tis well—

Par.
[reading on.]
“That she remove all causes of suspicion
“When from her couch she rises, that she tread
“On no man's foot; nor step to the next couch;
“Nor, stooping down, offer her hand to any
“To help support her—That she give to no man
“The ring she wears, to look at: nor yet ask
“To inspect another's ring from off his finger—
“That she shall never make an offer of
“The dice, to any but yourself; and when
“She makes her throw, she shall not barely say,
“You I invoke, but she shall name your name—
“That she may pray to any female deity
“She likes; but to no god address herself.
“Or, if she has particular devotion
“To any god, that she must tell you of it;
“You, in her stead, will pray to him to favour her—
“That she shall neither nod to any man,
“Nor wink at him, nor make him any signs.
“And if the lamp go out, she shall not move
“One joint of her, 'till light is brought.”

Dia.
'Tis best
She so behave—But in the bedchamber
I would not have her seem so lifeless; that
Therefore strike out, or she may plead her vow.

Par.
I apprehend—You fear some quirk—

Dia.
I do.

Par.
Then as you bad me do, I'll strike that out.

Dia.
Certainly—

Par.
Hear the rest.

Dia.
Go on—I hear.

Par.
[reading.]
“That no ambiguous, shuffling word she use;
“Nor any other language speak, but Attick—
“That if she chance to cough, she shall contrive
“In coughing not to shew her tongue—And that
“She may not be oblig'd to do it, she
“Shall feign to have a stuffing in her head.
“And, that her lips may ne'er appear to others
“Moist with your kisses, you should wipe them off—
“That when you're drinking, the bawd-mother ne'er
“Should come to interrupt you, nor yet say
“To any one the thing that's disobliging—
“That if she does, she shall for punishment
“Not touch a drop of wine for twenty days.”

Dia.
Fairly drawn up, in troth, a clever writing.

“Par.
“Then, if she sends her maid to offer up
“Chaplets, or wreaths, or perfumes unto Venus,
“Or unto Cupid, that your slave shall watch her;
“Lest, in the stead of giving them to Venus,
“She give them to some man—And lastly, if
“Out of devotion, she should choose to pass
“Some widow'd nights, she should account to you
“For the same number, with her company.
“These are no trifles, such as those they use
“At funeral solemnities.”

Dia.
These articles
Are right, and I approve of them entirely.
Follow me in then.

Par.
I attend you, Sir.

[Exeunt.