University of Virginia Library

ACT III.

SCENE I.

Enter CLEÆRETA and PHILENIUM.
CLEÆRETA.
And is it, my Philenium, then impossible
To make you cease to do what I forbid?
And are you so dispos'd to think yourself
Free from your mother's jurisdiction?

Phil.
How, mother, could I think the goddess piety
Would hear me, when I pray to her to make me
Pleasing to you, if, when I pray, my manners
Were such, as your instructions fain would have them?

Cle.
Is it well manner'd, think you, to oppose
My precepts?

Phil.
How?

Cle.
Is piety thus worship'd,
By lessening due obedience to a mother?

Phil.
Those who act right I blame not; but I love not
Those who are wrong—

Cle.
A prating love-sick girl!
That's what you are—

Phil.
He, mother, is my gain:
His tongue demands me, and his person seeks me;
His passion pleads, and fair occasion prompts—

Cle.
I'm hither come to chide you, and you stand
As my accuser.

Phil.
No, by Pollux' temple!
I don't accuse you; nor yet do I think
I have a right to do it. I am only
Complaining of my lot, when I'm depriv'd
Of him I love.

Cle.
I hope you'll let me have
My turn to speak, once in the day at least.

Phil.
Together with your own, I give you mine
Into the bargain; be you then directress
When I'm to speak, and when to hold my tongue.
But then, by Pollux! if my oar's laid by,
And my sole ship remains in dock, remember
All's at a stand at home; no pot is boiling.

Cle.
What's that you say, and with such impudence?
How many times have I forbidden you
To accost, or to come near to Argyrippus,
Son of Demænetus; to hold discourse
With him, or e'en to look him in the face!
What has he given us, or what provision
Has he e'er order'd to our house? Do you think
A smooth persuasive tongue will pass with us
For current coin? or that fine subtle speeches
Will pass for presents? Of your own accord
You love him, you endeavour to get at him,
You order him to be call'd to you—Those
Who make us presents, you deride: and those
Who cheat us, you are desperately in love with.
Should any promise, when his mother dies,
To make you opulent, ought you to lend
Attention to it? Yes, by Castor's temple!
While we're in expectation of her death,
'Tis odds but we and our whole family
Perish for want of food. If he don't bring
Hither to me this day the twenty minæ,
(Let him be e'er so bounteous of his tears,)
I swear by Castor's temple, out of doors
He shall be turn'd—This day's the very last
I'll hear this plea of poverty—

Phil.
My mother,
If you should bid me eat no food, I'd eat none.

Cle.
I don't forbid you love those men who give us
Aught for the sake of which they should be lov'd—

Phil.
But, madam, when one's inclination's fix'd
Upon a man, what's to be done? advise me.

Cle.
Why, look at my grey hairs, my hoary head,
And then consult what suits your interest best.

Phil.
The shepherd, madam, that is set to keep
Another's sheep, hath for himself some few
Which he can call his own; then nurse his hopes.
Let me then love my Argyrippus only
For the meer sake of my affection to him.

Cle.
Go in: in troth I've never seen a girl
So saucy.

Phil.
Madam, I am all obedience.

[Exeunt.

SCENE II.

Enter LEONIDA and LIBANUS.
Leo.
Great thanks and praise deservedly we pay
To perfidy; since we, relying on
Our own perfidiousness, deceits and cunning,
The hardness of our shoulders, and our setting
The elm twigs at defiance, thongs and chains,
Prisons and yokes, and fetters too, and collars,
Our cruel scourgers, and the fellows that
Are well acquainted with our backs, as they
Have oft ere this wounded with stripes our shoulders:
These legions, all these forces and these armies
Manfully fighting, arm'd with perjuries,
We have, O brave! subdu'd—The deed is done
By this my comrade's prowess, and my own
Courteous demeanor—

Lib.
Shew me now the man
Can bear the scourge with greater constancy—

Leo.
By Pollux' temple, who is't can chant forth
Like me thy great exploits, and stratagems
In peace and war? Much may be said, in troth,
On thy account:—how those that trusted thee
Thou hast deceiv'd;—how also to thy master
Thou hast been unfaithful;—how thou, on thy conscience,
Knowingly, wilfully, hast been perjur'd:—how
Thou hast broke through walls to steal;—and how
Thou hast been taken in the very fact.
As how thy cause too thou hast often pleaded,
Hung by the heels, against eight hardened fellows,
Of stripes most sturdy layers on.

Lib.
I own,
That what you say, Leonida, is true. And yet
One might recount many exploits of yours,
And true ones too:—how ill you have repaid
The confidence in you repos'd; how taken
In the very act of theft, and for it, scourg'd
In publick;—how yourself too you forswore;—
How you laid hands on sacred things;—and how
You've acted to your master's loss, and brought
Disgrace and trouble on his head:—how too
You have denied your having e'er receiv'd
That which has been committed to your charge:
How to your mistress you've more faithful been
Than to your friend;—and how you've tired out
Six sturdy Lictors, arm'd with pliant elm twigs.
And have I ill return'd the compliment?
How well the commendation he deserv'd,
I've given to my colleague!

Leo.
One most worthy of me,
Most worthy of yourself, and of our genius—

Lib.
No more of this—Answer to what I ask.

Leo.
Say then, what is't you'd have?

Lib.
Well, have you got
The twenty silver minæ?

Leo.
Sure you conjure.
'Troth, 'twas a smart conceit in old Demænetus,
To make me pass for Saurea; how witty!
I scarce could hold from laughter, when he chid
The stranger, for not having faith in me
When he was absent; and how readily
He call'd me Saurea, usher of the hall?

Lib.
But hold a little.

Leo.
What's the matter now?

Lib.
Say, is not this, that's coming out, Philenium?
And Argyrippus with her?

Leo.
Hold your tongue.
'Tis he. Let's listen here to what they say.
She is in tears, and holds him by his robe,
While he's in tears no less—What can this be?
Let's hold our peace and listen.

Lib.
Be it so.
I've got a thought just come into my head,
By Hercules! I wish I had a stick—

Leo.
For what?

Lib.
To still these asses in my purse,
If they should take it in their heads to bray.

[they stand apart.

SCENE III.

Enter ARGYRIPPUS followed by PHILENIUM.
Arg.
Why do you hold me back?

Phi.
Because I love you,
And cannot bear you should be absent from me.

Arg.
Farewell.

Phi.
I should fare better, would you stay.

Arg.
I wish you health.

Phi.
You wish me health, alas!
When your departure brings disease upon me.

Arg.
Cleæreta, your mother, has just given me
The last farewell, and bad me to retire.

Phi.
'Twill be my death, if I'm depriv'd of you.

Lib.
[apart to Leo.]
By Hercules! the man's turn'd out of doors.

Leo.
'Tis plain 'tis so.

Arg.
I prithee, let me go.

Phi.
Ah! whither wou'd you go? Why stay not here?

Arg.
All night, if you desire it, I will stay.

Lib.
[to Leo.]
Do you mark him? he's profuse you find of night work.
'Tis day-time now; and he's too much engag'd.
A very Solon, who employs his time
In framing laws to make his people good.
Meer trifling! Those who to his laws submit,
Won't do great things, unless it be to pass
Whole days and nights in tippling.

Leo.
No, by Hercules!
He'll never budge a foot if she would let him:
Tho' now he seems so much in haste, and threatens
To go away.

Lib.
Peace be with your tongue, that I
May hear what 'tis he says.

Arg.
Again farewell.

Phi.
Ah! whither are you going now?

Arg.
Once more
Farewell. In t'other world I shall behold you,
For I'm determin'd soon as possible
To quit this life.

Phi.
And why now? prithee, say,
Why do you, thus unmerited, consign me
Over to death?

Arg.
I,—You?—I who would die
To save your life, if 'twere in any danger;
And eke it out with mine.

Phi.
Why did you threaten
To quit this life? Which should you really do,
What think you would become of me? For 'tis
A thing with me determin'd, that whate'er
You do to yourself I from myself shall suffer
The very same—

Arg.
O sweeter than sweet honey!

Phi.
You surely are my life—My dear, embrace me.

Arg.
With pleasure. [embracing her.]
Lock'd thus in each other's arms,
O! that we might be carried to the tomb.

Leo.
[to Lib.]
O what a wretch, my Libanus, is a man
In love!

Lib.
A man that's hanging by the heels,
In troth, is more so.

Leo.
Yes, I know it well;
And by experience too—Suppose we go,
And one on this, and on that side the other
Accost them.

Lib.
Good day, master—What was't you
Had just now in your arms? What, was it smoke?

Arg.
Why smoke?

Lib.
Because your eyes now stand in tears:
That was the reason why I ask'd.

Arg.
You've lost
The man that would have been a patron to you.

Lib.
Troth I've lost none, for I ne'er had one yet.

Leo.
[to Phi.]
Good day, Philenium.

Phi.
May the gods now grant
All that you both can wish.

Lib.
Had I my wish,
That wish should be to pass the night with you,
And have a cask of wine into the bargain.

Arg.
Rascal, take heed of what you say.

Lib.
In troth
The wish was for yourself, not me.

Arg.
Well then
Say what you'd have.

Lib.
I fain would have a slap
At him there.

Leo.
Well, and who will let you do it,
You frizzled lecher—What! you strike me, you!
Whose very food is blows.

Arg.
You both of you
Are far happier than me. For, Libanus,
I am determin'd not to live till evening.

Lib.
And pray, why so?

Arg.
Because I doat on her,
And she on me: and yet I've nought to give her,
Nought in the world: on which account, her mother
Has turn'd me out of doors. The twenty minæ
Which young Diabolus is this day to give her,
To have possession of her the year round,
Have been the death of me. See, of what force
Are twenty minæ, and what feats they'll do.
The man who loses them is happy, I,
Who have not them to lose, am quite undone.

Lib.
Has he paid down the money?

Arg.
No, he has not.

Lib.
Pluck up your courage then, nor be afraid
Of ought.

Leo.
Hark! Libanus, aside this way
A little. Somewhat I've to say to you.

Lib.
Your pleasure?

Arg.
Yes, 'tis pleasant talking, when
At the same time you can embrace each other.

Lib.
You'll please to know, all things are not alike
Pleasant to all. Caresses, while you're talking,
To you and such like lovers, are full pleasant.
But these embraces I regard not.

Leo.
So
Philenium there despises mine. Yourselves
Then do, what you're persuading us to do.

Arg.
Yes, and with all my heart, by Pollux' temple!
You, if you please, mean time may step aside—

Leo.
[to Lib.]
Suppose we have some sport now with our master.

Lib.
Troth, he deserves it richly.

Leo.
Then suppose
I make Philenium, while he's by, embrace me.

Lib.
I wish you may so, troth—

Leo.
Come this way then.

Arg.
Well, what am I to hope for? Ha'nt you yet
Not all this while had conference enough?

Leo.
Attend then both: and with a greedy ear
Devour up my discourse—First of all then
That we're your slaves, we don't deny: But if
Twenty good silver minæ are brought to you,
How will you call us then?

Arg.
I'll call you free.

Leo.
And not your patrons too?

Arg.
Yes, even that.

Leo.
Look, here are twenty minæ in this purse.
These, if you'd have it so, I'll give to you.

Arg.
Protector of your master, may the gods
Preserve you! you're an honour to the people,
Treasure of treasures, of my life preserver,
Of love commander: here, put, place it here,
Tye the bag round my neck.

Leo.
I know not how,
As you're my master, so to burden you.

Arg.
But, rid you of the trouble; give it me
To carry.

Leo.
No, I'll bear it like a porter;
You go before me, and without a burden.
'Tis a civility to a master due.

Arg.
How now? What are you doing? Why do you not
Give me the bag, unwieldy as it is?

Leo.
Tell her, to whom you'd give it, that of me
She may demand it; where you'd have me place it,
It may slip down—

Phi.
My pigsney, my sweet rose,
My soul, my joy! O give it me, Leonida,
Nor part such lovers.

Leo.
Call me then, Philenium,
Your little sparrow, chicken, and your quail;
Your lambkin, pretty little kid, your calveling.
And take me by the ears, and press your lips
To mine.

Arg.
Kiss you, you rascal?

Leo.
What is't seems
Unmeet in that? I say you shall not have it,
Till she embrace my knees—

Arg.
What want compels me to!
Your knees shall be embrac'd—Now give it me.

Phi.
Come, my Leonida, give your master life—
Redeem yourself by this your kindness to him,
And with this money buy your liberty.

Leo.
You are too kind, too amiable; and if
'Twere mine, you should not press me so to give it.
'Tis better you address yourself to him;
He gave it me to keep for him. Then go,
Approach him sweetly, sweet— [to Lib.]
Here! Libanus,
Take this— [giving him the bag.]


Arg.
What! playing on me still, you rascal!

Leo.
By Hercules! I'd done it, if you had not
Embrac'd my knees so hard—Come on, [to Lib.]
'tis your turn now
To play on him—Come on—Embrace that fair one.

Lib.
Peace, hold your tongue, let me alone.

Arg.
My dear,
Let us approach him; a good lad, in troth!
Not like this thief here.

Lib.
Come, let's walk a little.
Now will they both petition me.

Arg.
By Hercules!
If you would save your master's life, my Libanus,
Give me those twenty minæ; you behold me
A man in love, in want into the bargain.

Lib.
We'll see; 'tis possible it may be done.
Come here again at night. In the mean time
Command Philenium to intreat me for it.

Phi.
And how intreat for't? With a little love,
Or with a kiss?

Lib.
Upon my word, with both.

Phi.
Well, I conjure you, take good care of both—

Arg.
Give me the bag, my patron, my good Libanus—
It better suits a freed-man, than a patron,
To bear a burden with him in the way.

Phi.
My little golden pigsney, my dear Libanus,
I'll love you, I'll do what you will, but give us
That money.

Lib.
Call me then your duckling, pigeon,
Your little kitten, swallow, your jackdaw,
Your pretty sparrow, or your manikin.
Make me a serpent strait, that I may have
A double tongue. Now, in your arms encircle me,
Embrace my neck.

Arg.
What! how! embrace you, hang-dog!

Lib.
What, then you think that I'm unworthy of it?
Such an unworthy thing you shall not say
Of me, and go unpunish'd for it—By Pollux!
You shall, this day, carry me on your shoulders;
Or never hope to carry off this money.

Arg.
I carry you upon my shoulders?

Lib.
Yes—
For on no other terms you'll have the money.

Arg.
By Hercules! 'tis over with me—Yet
If true decorum can admit a master
To bear his slave upon his shoulders, mount.

Lib.
'Tis in this manner that we tame the proud.
Stand still—So—Rarely well, my master—So,
Now move: well done! I never knew a horse
More wise—

Arg.
Come, mount directly.

Lib.
There, 'tis done.
[mounting on Argyrippus's back.]
Hey! What's the matter? How you move indeed!
I'll sconce you of your feed of corn, unless
You amble better—

Arg.
Prithee, Libanus,
No more; enough—

Lib.
You'll by entreaty get
Nothing of me to-day—Now must I spur
My beast against the hill—Then will I send him
Strait to the miller's, there to tire him out
With running—Stop then, that I may get down;
'Tis more tho' than you merit, for you're naught.

[coming off from his shoulders.
Arg.
What now is to be done? since at your pleasure
You both of you have play'd upon us both,
Will you now give the money to me?

Lib.
Yes;
If you will here erect to me a statue,
An altar too, and offer on't an ox
In sacrifice as to a god: for I
To you am as your god Salvation.

Leo.
Why don't you, sir, get from that fellow there,
And then apply yourself to me; and grant me
What he has been asking you, prayers and a statue?

Arg.
By what name will your godship then be call'd?

Leo.
Why, favourable Fortune.

Arg.
Troth, in that
You beat him out and out.

Lib.
Why, can a man
Have any thing that's better than the god
Of health?

Arg.
Tho' I speak in favour of
The goddess Fortune, yet I censure not
The god of health.

Phi.
In troth, by Castor's temple,
They both of them are good.

Arg.
That I shall know,
When they give ought that's good.

Leo.
Then only wish
The thing that you would have, should happen to you.

Arg.
What if I do?

Leo.
Why, you shall have your wish.

Arg.
I wish to have that fair one's company
All the year round.

Leo.
'Tis done, you have obtain'd it.

Arg.
Indeed! Do you say so?

Leo.
Certainly, I say it.

Lib.
Come now in turn to me, and try my skill.
Wish what you will, and it shall come to pass.

Arg.
What can I wish for, more than what I want?
Twenty good silver minæ in a bag
To give her mother.

Lib.
Why the thing is done.
Take courage, you've obtain'd your wish.

Arg.
'Tis common
For Fortune, aye, and for Salvation too
To disappoint.

Leo.
I was the head to-day
Which got this money for you.

Lib.
I the foot.

Arg.
I see nor head nor foot of all your talking.
Nor can I find the drift of what you say,
Nor why you play thus on me.

Lib.
Come, enough
We've tantaliz'd him—Let us tell him now
The affair just as it is. Mind, Argyrippus!
It was your father's order we should bring
This money to you.

Arg.
And you both are come
Most a-propos.

Lib.
Then, here are in this bag
Twenty good minæ, got by no good means.
He order'd us to give them to you; but,
Upon conditions.

Arg.
Prithee, what conditions?

Lib.
That you would entertain him with a supper,
And let him pass a night with this your mistress.

Arg.
Tell him to come, I beg you. 'Tis but fit
We should do what he'd have us, since he has
Thus brought again our scatter'd loves together.

Leo.
And will you, Argyrippus, then permit
Your father to embrace your mistress?

Arg.
Yes,
Her love will let me do it. Haste, Leonida,
I beg you, hasten, and conjure my father
That he come hither.

Lib.
He has long ago
Been here within.

Arg.
He did not come this way.

Lib.
He went in private round the garden, thro'
The little court, that none of his domesticks
Might see him coming hither: He's afraid
His wife should come to know it—Should your mother
Know how this money was obtain'd—

Arg.
Keep off!
Words of bad omen—Quickly in—Farewell—

Leo.
And for you two, go on and love each other.

[Exeunt.