University of Virginia Library

ACT II.

SCENE I.

Enter THEUROPIDES.
THEUROPIDES.
Thanks, Neptune, thanks! that you have now dismiss'd me
From your domains, tho' scarce alive—Again
Catch me but setting foot upon thy sea,
I'll give thee leave to treat me, as thou'dst wish'd
To do but now—Avaunt! have done with me:
I've trusted thee with all I ever shall—

Enter TRANIO, overhearing him.
Tra.
[aside.]
'Troth, father Neptune, you've been much to blame
To lose so good an opportunity.

Theu.
After three years, I am arriv'd from Egypt,
I trust, a welcome guest to all my family.

Tra.
[aside.]
He had been more welcome, who had told your death—

Theu.
How's this!—my doors all fast, and at mid-day?
I'll knock— [knocks.]
Hola!—Open the door there, some one.

Tra.
Who's this about our door?

Theu.
My servant, Tranio!

Tra.
Theuropides!—my master!—welcome home.
I'm glad to see you safe return'd—And have you
Had the whole time good health?

Theu.
Just as you see—

Tra.
That's well—

Theu.
But what! are you all mad?—

Tra.
Why so?

Theu.
Why so?—Because you walk without doors here,
And not a soul within to keep the house;
No one to ope' the door, nor give an answer—
I've almost broke down both the leaves of it
With knocking with my feet—

Tra.
And have you touch'd it?

Theu.
And why not touch it? More than that, I tell you,
I've almost broke the doors with knocking at 'em.

Tra.
And have you touch'd—

Theu.
Touch'd! Ay, and knock'd hard too.

Tra.
Alas!

Theu.
What's this!

Tra.
It was ill done, by Hercules!

Theu.
Why, what's the matter?—

Tra.
Oh! the horrid mischief!
The ill you've done is not to be express'd—

Theu.
How so?—

Tra.
Fly, prithee—Get you from the house.
Fly this way—nearer me—And have you touch'd
The doors?—

Theu.
How could I knock, and touch them not?

Tra.
By Hercules! you've been the death—

Theu.
Of whom?

Tra.
Of your whole family—

Theu.
All the gods and goddesses
Confound you with your omen!—

Tra.
I'm afraid
You can't make satisfaction to the gods,
Nor to yourself—

Theu.
What! Why! What new affair
Do you surprize me with?

Tra.
And—Hark you me?
Command these off, I beg you—

Theu.
[to those who had attended him from the port.]
Leave me, pray.

[Exeunt attendants.
Tra.
Touch not the house; but touch the earth, as we do—

Theu.
Speak out, I pray you—

Tra.
'Tis now seven months
Since we have left it, and no soul has enter'd—

Theu.
Speak out—And why?—

Tra.
Look round, that no one hear—

Theu.
[looking round.]
All's safe—

Tra.
But look again—

Theu.
There's no body—
Now speak—

Tra.
A murder has been here committed.

Theu.
How! What! I understand you not—

Tra.
A villainy
Of antient date—committed long ago—
Long—long—but known to us but now—

Theu.
Say, rascal,
What is't, who did it?—

Tra.
Why, the master here
Seiz'd on his guest, and kill'd him—'Twas, I think,
The very man that sold the house to you.

Theu.
Kill'd him!—

Tra.
And rob'd him of his gold; and buried him
Here in the house—

Theu.
And why suspect you this?

Tra.
I'll tell you—List!—Your son had supp'd abroad;
On his return, we all retired to bed;
And then to sleep—By chance, I had forgot
To put the candle out—when, on a sudden
He set up such a cry—

Theu.
He!—Who? my son?

Tra.
Hist!—Hear—He said, a dead man, in a dream,
Came to him—

Theu.
In a dream?—

Tra.
Ev'n so—but mind—
Thus the dead man accosted him—He said—

Theu.
But, in a dream—

Tra.
It had been indeed surprising,
Had he accosted him awake, when he'd been kill'd
These sixty years—Why, really, master,
At times, you're little better than a fool—

Theu.
Well—well. I say no more—

Tra.
Mind what he said—
“I'm Diapontius' guest, here from abroad—
“Here dwell I—This my allotted habitation—
“Pluto would not receive me into Acheron,
“For an untimely death I died—By trust
“Was I deceiv'd—My host here murder'd me,—
“And without funeral rites, here cover'd me
“With earth himself, by stealth—My gold the cause.
“Depart then hence—A curse is on the house.
“It is defil'd”—'Twould take a year to tell
The wonders here have been—Hist! Hark!—

Theu.
The matter?—Speak, I beg you—

Tra.
The door creak'd—
Did the dead man knock at it?—

Theu.
I've not left
One single drop of blood—The dead are come
To fetch me living, to the realms of darkness.

Tra.
[apart.]
Undone! They'll with their noise confound my tale.
[Noise within.
I'm horribly afraid he'll find me out—

Theu.
What's that you're muttering to yourself?—

Tra.
By Hercules!
Fly from the door—Fly, I conjure you, fly—

Theu.
Fly! whither? Fly thyself—

Tra.
I'm not afraid.
I'm with the dead at peace—

Theu.
Tranio—Holla!

Tra.
If you were wise, you would not call on me—
[as if speaking to an apparition.
I'm innocent—It was not I that knock'd—

Theu.
The matter, Tranio! what possesses thee?
Whom art thou speaking to?—

Tra.
And was it you,
Good Sir, that call'd me? As the Gods shall save me,
I thought the dead man was abusing me,
Because you knock'd at the door.—But do you still
Stand here, nor do as I advise?—

Theu.
What do?

Tra.
Look not behind you—Fly, and veil your head.

Theu.
Why fly not you?—

Tra.
I'm with the dead at peace.

Theu.
I recollect—But why so scar'd but now?

Tra.
Oh! take no care for me. I'll see to one.
Fly, fly, as you've begun—Fly with all speed,
And invoke Hercules—

Theu.
Hercules, I invoke thee.

[runs off.
Tra.
As I do too, that he will shower some plague
Upon thy head: Gods! be my witnesses,
How I've rubb'd thro' this most untoward event.

[Exit.