 | The Discovery |  |
SCENE I.
Enter THESPRIO, followed by EPIDICUS.EPIDICUS.
Hark ye! young man.
The.
Who pulls me by the cloak,
When I am in haste?
104
A friend,—one of the family.
The.
I think so: for you're plaguily familiar.
Epi.
But prithee, Thesprio, turn your head, and view me.
The.
(turning.)
Ha! do I see Epidicus?
Epi.
Most certainly.
You have eyes.
The.
Save you!
Epi.
Heav'n grant you all your wish,
I'm glad you are arriv'd, and well.
The.
What next?
105
The custom; you shall have a treat.
The.
I promise.
Epi.
What?
The.
To accept your treat.
Epi.
How fares it with you?
Do things go as you'd wish?
The.
Behold the proof.
Epi.
I understand. Well done! You look more plump,
More hearty.
The.
Thanks to this. (shewing his left hand,)
Epi.
Which long ago
You should have lost.
106
But now I pilfer less,
Than heretofore.
Epi.
How so?
The.
I rob above-board.
Epi.
The gods confound you! what large strides you take!
As soon as I espied you at the port,
I set a running, and could hardly catch you.
The.
You are a milk-sop.
107
You forsooth, I know,
You are a knapsack swaggerer.
The.
Do, be saucy;
Say what you will.
Epi.
Have you still had your health?
The.
Chequer'd.
Epi.
I like it not, such chequer'd health;
Whence men are mark'd with stripes, like goats and panthers.
The.
What would you have me tell you, but the truth?
108
I'd have you answer what I ask you fairly;
How is our master's son? Is he in health?
The.
Stout as a boxer or a wrestler.
Epi.
So.—
You've brought us joyful tidings. But where is he?
The.
I came along with him.
Epi.
Where is he, then?
Unless you've brought him in your scrip or wallet.
The.
Confound you!
Epi.
I would question you.—Hear me,
And you on your part shall be heard in turn.—
The.
You talk like any judge.
Epi.
It suits me well.
The.
You play the prætor on us.
Epi.
Is there any one
In Athens better qualified?
The.
Yet, one thing
Is wanting to your prætorship.
Epi.
What's that?
The.
I'll tell you what: two lictors, and their fasces
Of elm-twigs for your worship.
109
Out upon you!
But prithee, answer—
The.
What is't you would ask?
Epi.
Stratippocles's arms, where are they, say?
The.
In troth, gone over to the enemy.
Epi.
His arms?
The.
Ay, in a crack too—
Epi.
Seriously?
The.
Yes, seriously:—the enemy has got them.—
Epi.
'Fore heav'n, it was a scurvy deed.
The.
But others,
Have done the same before him:—This affair
Will turn out to his honour.
Epi.
How?
The.
Because.
It has to others, heretofore.
Epi.
In troth
'Tis my belief, that Vulcan made the arms
Born by Stratippocles, they took their flight
So quickly to the enemy: then this son
110
Will bring him others. Only let him see,
The armourers are provided with materials,
If the enemy shall strip him each campaign.
The.
No more now of these matters.
Epi.
Make an end
Of this discourse then, whensoe'er you please.
The.
Ask no more questions.
Epi.
Tell me, where's Stratippocles?
The.
There is a reason why he was afraid
To come along with me.
Epi.
And what is that?
The.
He would not see his father yet.
Epi.
And why?
The.
I'll tell you. From the plunder he has purchas'd,
A captive maid of fair and gentle form.
Epi.
What do I hear you say?
The.
That which I speak.
Epi.
Why did he buy her?
The.
'Cause he had a mind to her.
Epi.
How many minds, I wonder, has he got?
For e'er he went from hence to join the troops,
He bade me purchase for him of a pandar,
A musick-girl, with whom he was enamour'd.
I have obey'd his orders.
The.
When at sea,
Just as the wind is, we must shift the sail.
Epi.
Ah me! he has undone me.
The.
Wherefore? how?
Epi.
The girl he purchas'd, how much did she cost him?
The.
A trifle.
111
I don't ask you that.
The.
What then?
Epi.
How many minæ?
The.
So many. (holds up his fingers.)
Epi.
What! forty!
Thes.
Yes;—of a Theban banker he has taken
The money up at interest; and pays
A silver mina for it by the day.
Epi.
Strange!
The.
And the banker's come along with him,
Who wants his money.
Epi.
Gods! I'm finely done for.
The.
Why how now? what's the matter?
Epi.
I am lost.
The.
Lost? who has lost you?
Epi.
He, who lost his arms.
The.
Nay, prithee now, why so?
Epi.
Day after day
He us'd to send me letters from the army,
But, mum!—'twere best.—'Tis fitter for a servant
To know more than he utters.—That is wisdom.
The.
In troth I know not why you are afraid:
You tremble:—yes, I see it in your countenance,
You have done something to deserve correction,
During my absence, as it seems.
Epi.
Nay, prithee!
Can't you refrain from teizing me?
The.
I'm gone.
Epi.
Stay, I'll not let you go.
The.
Why do you hold me?
Epi.
Loves he the girl he purchas'd?
112
What a question?
He doats to death upon her.
Epi.
I shall have
My skin stript off my back.
The.
He loves her more
Than ever he lov'd you.
Epi.
Now, Jove confound you!
The.
Now, prithee let me go: for he has charg'd me
Not to go home, but to our neighbours here,
To Chæribulus; bad me wait him there:
Himself is coming thither.
Epi.
For what reason?
The.
I'll tell you.—He'd not see, nor meet his father,
Till he has paid the money, that he owes,
For purchasing this girl.
Epi.
An ugly business!
The.
Dismiss me now, that I may hence directly.
Epi.
When the old gentleman shall know of this
Our bark is fairly cast away.
The.
What matter
Is it to me what death you die?
Epi.
I'm loath
To die alone; I'd have you perish with me,
Friend with his friend.
The.
Go hang yourself
With this your rare proposal.
Epi.
Do thou go for me,
If thou art in such hast.
The.
I never met
A man I parted with so willingly.
[Exit.
113
He's gone: and now thou art alone: thou see'st
What situation things are in, Epidicus:
Unless thou find assistance in thyself,
'Tis over with thee: such destructive ruins
Hang o'er thee, if thou dost not prop them firmly,
Thou can'st not stand; such mountains of distress
Threaten at once to tumble down upon thee.
Nor can I hit on any likely scheme
To extricate myself from my embarassment.
A luckless rascal! by my artifices
I have prevail'd on our old gentleman,
To think that he has purchas'd his own daughter:
When all the while, 'tis but a musick-girl,
Whom his son lov'd; and order'd me to buy
At his departure. Our young chap, forsooth!
Has brought with him another from the army,
Who struck his fancy. I am flead already.
For when the old gentleman shall come to know
That I have play'd him tricks, he'll smooth my back,
He'll polish it with twigs—Then look about thee,
That's nothing. [considering.]
Psha, this pate of mine's quite addled.
114
But what [in another tone.]
Provokes thee to call names, good friend?—Because
Thou dost desert thyself.—What can I do?—
What?—Do you ask me, you, who heretofore
Were won't to lend advice to others?—What?—
What?—something must be found.—But I am slow
In meeting my young spark, that I may learn
How matters are.—O, here he is, quite grave,
He's walking with his year's mate Chæribulus.
I'll step aside, and listen to their talk.
[retires.
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