 | The Discovery |  |
103
ACT 1.
SCENE I.
Enter THESPRIO, followed by EPIDICUS.EPIDICUS.
Hark ye! young man.
The.
Who pulls me by the cloak,
When I am in haste?
104
A friend,—one of the family.
The.
I think so: for you're plaguily familiar.
Epi.
But prithee, Thesprio, turn your head, and view me.
The.
(turning.)
Ha! do I see Epidicus?
Epi.
Most certainly.
You have eyes.
The.
Save you!
Epi.
Heav'n grant you all your wish,
I'm glad you are arriv'd, and well.
The.
What next?
105
The custom; you shall have a treat.
The.
I promise.
Epi.
What?
The.
To accept your treat.
Epi.
How fares it with you?
Do things go as you'd wish?
The.
Behold the proof.
Epi.
I understand. Well done! You look more plump,
More hearty.
The.
Thanks to this. (shewing his left hand,)
Epi.
Which long ago
You should have lost.
106
But now I pilfer less,
Than heretofore.
Epi.
How so?
The.
I rob above-board.
Epi.
The gods confound you! what large strides you take!
As soon as I espied you at the port,
I set a running, and could hardly catch you.
The.
You are a milk-sop.
107
You forsooth, I know,
You are a knapsack swaggerer.
The.
Do, be saucy;
Say what you will.
Epi.
Have you still had your health?
The.
Chequer'd.
Epi.
I like it not, such chequer'd health;
Whence men are mark'd with stripes, like goats and panthers.
The.
What would you have me tell you, but the truth?
108
I'd have you answer what I ask you fairly;
How is our master's son? Is he in health?
The.
Stout as a boxer or a wrestler.
Epi.
So.—
You've brought us joyful tidings. But where is he?
The.
I came along with him.
Epi.
Where is he, then?
Unless you've brought him in your scrip or wallet.
The.
Confound you!
Epi.
I would question you.—Hear me,
And you on your part shall be heard in turn.—
The.
You talk like any judge.
Epi.
It suits me well.
The.
You play the prætor on us.
Epi.
Is there any one
In Athens better qualified?
The.
Yet, one thing
Is wanting to your prætorship.
Epi.
What's that?
The.
I'll tell you what: two lictors, and their fasces
Of elm-twigs for your worship.
109
Out upon you!
But prithee, answer—
The.
What is't you would ask?
Epi.
Stratippocles's arms, where are they, say?
The.
In troth, gone over to the enemy.
Epi.
His arms?
The.
Ay, in a crack too—
Epi.
Seriously?
The.
Yes, seriously:—the enemy has got them.—
Epi.
'Fore heav'n, it was a scurvy deed.
The.
But others,
Have done the same before him:—This affair
Will turn out to his honour.
Epi.
How?
The.
Because.
It has to others, heretofore.
Epi.
In troth
'Tis my belief, that Vulcan made the arms
Born by Stratippocles, they took their flight
So quickly to the enemy: then this son
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Will bring him others. Only let him see,
The armourers are provided with materials,
If the enemy shall strip him each campaign.
The.
No more now of these matters.
Epi.
Make an end
Of this discourse then, whensoe'er you please.
The.
Ask no more questions.
Epi.
Tell me, where's Stratippocles?
The.
There is a reason why he was afraid
To come along with me.
Epi.
And what is that?
The.
He would not see his father yet.
Epi.
And why?
The.
I'll tell you. From the plunder he has purchas'd,
A captive maid of fair and gentle form.
Epi.
What do I hear you say?
The.
That which I speak.
Epi.
Why did he buy her?
The.
'Cause he had a mind to her.
Epi.
How many minds, I wonder, has he got?
For e'er he went from hence to join the troops,
He bade me purchase for him of a pandar,
A musick-girl, with whom he was enamour'd.
I have obey'd his orders.
The.
When at sea,
Just as the wind is, we must shift the sail.
Epi.
Ah me! he has undone me.
The.
Wherefore? how?
Epi.
The girl he purchas'd, how much did she cost him?
The.
A trifle.
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I don't ask you that.
The.
What then?
Epi.
How many minæ?
The.
So many. (holds up his fingers.)
Epi.
What! forty!
Thes.
Yes;—of a Theban banker he has taken
The money up at interest; and pays
A silver mina for it by the day.
Epi.
Strange!
The.
And the banker's come along with him,
Who wants his money.
Epi.
Gods! I'm finely done for.
The.
Why how now? what's the matter?
Epi.
I am lost.
The.
Lost? who has lost you?
Epi.
He, who lost his arms.
The.
Nay, prithee now, why so?
Epi.
Day after day
He us'd to send me letters from the army,
But, mum!—'twere best.—'Tis fitter for a servant
To know more than he utters.—That is wisdom.
The.
In troth I know not why you are afraid:
You tremble:—yes, I see it in your countenance,
You have done something to deserve correction,
During my absence, as it seems.
Epi.
Nay, prithee!
Can't you refrain from teizing me?
The.
I'm gone.
Epi.
Stay, I'll not let you go.
The.
Why do you hold me?
Epi.
Loves he the girl he purchas'd?
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What a question?
He doats to death upon her.
Epi.
I shall have
My skin stript off my back.
The.
He loves her more
Than ever he lov'd you.
Epi.
Now, Jove confound you!
The.
Now, prithee let me go: for he has charg'd me
Not to go home, but to our neighbours here,
To Chæribulus; bad me wait him there:
Himself is coming thither.
Epi.
For what reason?
The.
I'll tell you.—He'd not see, nor meet his father,
Till he has paid the money, that he owes,
For purchasing this girl.
Epi.
An ugly business!
The.
Dismiss me now, that I may hence directly.
Epi.
When the old gentleman shall know of this
Our bark is fairly cast away.
The.
What matter
Is it to me what death you die?
Epi.
I'm loath
To die alone; I'd have you perish with me,
Friend with his friend.
The.
Go hang yourself
With this your rare proposal.
Epi.
Do thou go for me,
If thou art in such hast.
The.
I never met
A man I parted with so willingly.
[Exit.
113
He's gone: and now thou art alone: thou see'st
What situation things are in, Epidicus:
Unless thou find assistance in thyself,
'Tis over with thee: such destructive ruins
Hang o'er thee, if thou dost not prop them firmly,
Thou can'st not stand; such mountains of distress
Threaten at once to tumble down upon thee.
Nor can I hit on any likely scheme
To extricate myself from my embarassment.
A luckless rascal! by my artifices
I have prevail'd on our old gentleman,
To think that he has purchas'd his own daughter:
When all the while, 'tis but a musick-girl,
Whom his son lov'd; and order'd me to buy
At his departure. Our young chap, forsooth!
Has brought with him another from the army,
Who struck his fancy. I am flead already.
For when the old gentleman shall come to know
That I have play'd him tricks, he'll smooth my back,
He'll polish it with twigs—Then look about thee,
That's nothing. [considering.]
Psha, this pate of mine's quite addled.
114
But what [in another tone.]
Provokes thee to call names, good friend?—Because
Thou dost desert thyself.—What can I do?—
What?—Do you ask me, you, who heretofore
Were won't to lend advice to others?—What?—
What?—something must be found.—But I am slow
In meeting my young spark, that I may learn
How matters are.—O, here he is, quite grave,
He's walking with his year's mate Chæribulus.
I'll step aside, and listen to their talk.
[retires.
SCENE II.
Enter STRATIPPOCLES and CHÆRIBULUS.Stra.
I've told you the whole story, Chæribulus,
Giv'n you the sum both of my griefs and loves.
Chæ.
You are a fool, Stratippocles, beyond
Your age and courage. Are you then asham'd,
115
Of a good family? who is there, that
Will blame you for it?
Stra.
By this deed, I've found
All those my enemies that envy me:
Yet have I never offer'd violence,
Or stain to her fair chastity.
Chæ.
In this
You, in my judgment, shew yourself most honest:
Since you maintain a temperance in love.
Stra.
The man that comforts a desponding friend
With words alone, does nothing. He's a friend
Indeed, who proves himself a friend in need.
Chæ.
What would you have me do to serve you?
Stra.
This.
Lend forty minæ, to repay the banker,
Of whom I took them up at interest.
Chæ.
'Troth! if I had them, I would not deny you.
Stra.
What signifies beneficence in words,
If you are cold to help me in reality?
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Nay, but myself am teiz'd to death; with duns
Am torn to pieces.
Stra.
I had rather see
Such friends at bottom of the sea. But now,
Now would I buy the assistance of Epidicus
E'en at a precious price. I'll send the rascal
To the back-kneaders, and well work'd with yeast,
If he procure not for me forty minæ
E're the last syllable be spoke.—the money.
117
[aside.]
All's well! his promises are fair. I hope
He'll keep them too. [ironically.]
At no expence of mine
My shoulders will be treated.—I'll accost him.
[Going up to Stratippocles.]
Epidicus, your slave, Sir, greets you well
On your arrival from abroad.
Stra.
Where is he?
Epi.
Here.—I rejoice, Sir, at your safe arrival.
Stra.
I do believe you, even as myself.
Epi.
Have you been well in health, Sir?
Stra.
Well in body,
But sick in mind.
Epi.
All that belong'd to me,
I've taken care of; what you order'd me
I've done; purchas'd the maiden, as you often
Urg'd me by letter.
Stra.
You have lost your labour.
Epi.
How, wherefore have I lost it?
Stra.
For she is not
Dear to my heart; nor do I like her.
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Why, then
Was you so pressing in your charges? Why
Write me so oft?
Stra.
I lov'd her heretofore,
But now my heart's engag'd another way.
Epi.
How grievous is it to find a man ungrateful
When you have serv'd him?—Thus by a good turn
It seems I've done an evil one—'Cause your love
Has shifted sides now.
Stra.
When I sent those letters
I was not in my senses.
Epi.
And must I
Atone then for your folly? Shall my back
Be offer'd up a second victim for it?
Chæ.
What signifies this prate? Our youth hath need
Of forty minæ piping hot, directly,
Which you must pay, and quickly, to the banker.
Epi.
Where would you have me take it up? what banker
Must I apply to?
Stra.
Where you please: but if
You get it not e'er the sun set, my doors
You shall not enter, but away to the workhouse.
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'Tis easy talking with a heart at ease,
Sans care or danger: but I knew our folks:
And when I'm thrash'd, it pains me.
Stra.
Prithee! now,
Wilt let me kill myself?
Epi.
No, do not that.
Rather than so, I'll put me to the hazard,
And buckle to the daring.
Stra.
Now thou lik'st me.
Now I commend thee.
Epi.
I will undergo
Whate'er you'd have me.
Stra.
So.—This musick-girl
Which you have bought, what's to be done with her?
Epi.
Something shall be found out, some way or other
I'll disengage, I'll extricate me some how.
Stra.
Thou hast a pregnant wit: I know thee well.
Epi.
There is a captain of Euboa, rich
And strong in cash; who, when he comes to know
That you've bought this, and brought that other home,
Will press you straight, to make this over to him.
But where's that other?
Stra.
She shall be forthcoming.
Chæ.
What's to be done, now?
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We will to your house
And have a pleasant day of't.
Epi.
Get you in there.
[Exit Stratippocles.
Epi.
Now will I call a council in my breast
On ways and means, and ponder against whom
To declare war, and raise the money.—Mind
What you're about, Epidicus, the business
Is put upon you hastily: the time
Is not for sleep, nor yet delay—but daring—
The project is resolv'd on.—I'll attack
This same old fellow—Go, go, get you in.
[to Chærubulus.]
And caution our young Sir, to keep within doors,
Lest he should chance to light upon his father.
[Exit.
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End of the First Act.
| The Discovery | |