University of Virginia Library

SCENE II.

Enter MILPHIDIPPA.
Is this the Circus, here before the house,
Where I must hold my sports?—I'll make pretence
As though I did not see them, did not know
That they are here.

Pyrg.
Hush!—let us hearken, if
She'll mention ought of me.

Mil.
Is no one near?
No meddler, that minds others businesses
More than his own? no lounger on the watch
To see what I'm about? no dieter
At his own cost, who's not in search for supper?—
I am afraid, lest any such as these
Stand in the way, and be an hindrance, when
My mistress comes,—poor soul! who doats upon
This all enchanting, this too handsome man,
This gallant captain Pyrgopolinices.

Pyrg.
She doats upon me too; commends my beauty.—
'Tis a clean-spoken wench,—she needs no ashes.

Pal.
What do you mean?

Pyrg.
To scour her words:—she speaks
Most daintily; and she's a dainty girl.—
Faith I begin to feel some liking for her.

Pal.
What! ere you have set eyes upon the other?

Pyrg.
I've faith in what I see.—By her discourse
She forces me to love her.

Pal.
On my soul
You must not love her: she's betroth'd to me:
If you the mistress wed, I take the maid.

Pyrg.
Why art thou backward then in speaking to her?

Pal.
True,—come along.

Pyrg.
I lacquey you at heels.

Mil.
O that I could but meet him, for whose sake
I am come forth here!

Pal.
(Advancing towards her.)
You shall have your wish:
Take courage: fear not:—there's a certain person
Knows where he is, whom you are looking for.

Milp.
Who's that I hear?

Pal.
The partner of your secrets,—
Your fellow-counsellor.

Mil.
I don't conceal then
What I conceal.

Pal.
Nay, but you do conceal
Ev'n what you don't conceal.

Mil.
How make you that out?

Pal.
From the untrusty you conceal your secrets:
But I am of a firm unshaken faith.

Mil.
Give me a token, if you're of the Bacchæ.

Pal.
A certain lady loves a certain gentleman.

Mil.
In troth, and so do many.

Pal.
But not many,
That send them presents, and from off their fingers.

Mil.
Oh, now I know:—you've made the matter plain.—
Is no one near?

Pal.
There is, or there is not.

Mil.
I want to talk with you alone in private.

Pal.
Will it be short or long you have to say?

Mil.
Three words.

Pal.
(To Pyrg.)
I will return to you this instant.

Pyrg.
What?—shall I stand here, I who am renown'd
For my exploits and beauty, but a moment
Idle and unemploy'd?

Pal.
Content yourself,—
Stay here:—it is your service I'm upon.

Pyrg.
I'm tortur'd with impatience.

Pal.
Soft and fair:
You know, Sir; in commodities of this kind
We're wont to deal thus.

Pyrg.
Well then, as it suits thee.

Pal.
(Aside.)
No stone can be more senseless than this lack-wit.
(To Pyrg.)
I'll soon return to you.— (To Milph.)
What would you with me?

Mil.
To take of you directions as before.

Pal.
Say, she is dying for him.

Mil.
That I know.

Pal.
Commend his person, and extoll his bravery.

Mil.
For that I'm arm'd at all points, as I shew'd you.

Pal.
The rest you'll manage:—you have got your cue.

Pyrg.
Prithee allow me some share in the business.—
(To Pal.)
Sirrah, come here this instant.

Pal.
Here I am:—
Command me,—what's your will?

Pyrg.
What says she to thee?

Pal.
She says her mistress takes on grievously,
Poor soul! and sore afflicts herself with crying,
Because you are not with her:—for that reason
She was dispatch'd to you.

Pyrg.
Bid her approach.

Pal.
But know you how to act now?—Bear yourself
Disdainfully, as though you like it not;
And rate me soundly, that I dare presume
To stale you to the vulgar.

Pyrg.
I'll remember,
And follow thy instructions.

Pal.
Please you, I
Should call her?

Pyrg.
If she wants me, let her come.

Pal.
Come hither, woman, if you want my master.

Mil.
(Advancing.)
Save you, Prince Prettiman!

Pyrg.
Ha!—who could tell her,
That was my name?—Heav'n grant you all you wish!

Mil.
To pass life with you, is—

Pyrg.
You wish too much.

Mil.
Myself I mean not, but my mistress, who
Is dying for you.

Pyrg.
Many wish the same,
But to no end.

Mil.
In sooth I wonder not,
That you should put such value on yourself,
A gentleman so handsome! so renown'd
For beauty, valour, and for bright atchievements!
Lives there, who more deserves the name of man?

Pal.
(Aside.)
Then there is nothing human:—by my faith
I think there's more humanity in a vulture.

Pyrg.
Now will I make myself of consequence,
Since she's so lavish of her commendations.—

Pal.
Look at the block-head, how he puffs and swells!—
Will you not answer her, good Sir?—she comes
A suiter from the lady,—

Pyrg.
From what lady?
There are so many ladies court my favour,
I can't remember them.

Mil.
I come from her,
Who to adorn your fingers strips her own:
That ring I brought from her, and gave your servant.

Pyrg.
Well, woman, what is't you would have? explain.

Mil.
That you would not disdain her who adores you,
Who lives but in your life, whose hope is placed
In you alone, whether she live or dye.

Pal.
What's her desire?

Mil.
To talk with, and embrace you:
If you refuse to comfort her, she'll perish.—
Come, my Achilles,—grant what I request,
And save this fair one,—call forth your benevolence,
Stormer of cities, conqueror of kings!

Pyrg.
O how vexatious this!—How often, rascal,
Have I forbade you thus to make me common?

Pal.
Woman, d'ye hear?—I told you this before,
And now repeat it,—you must pay him well.

Mil.
We'll give him any price he asks.

Pal.
A talent
Of gold:—he'll take no less of any one.

Mil.
Nay, that indeed now is too cheap.

Pyrg.
In me
Did avarice never spring: I'm rich enough:
I have of gold more than a thousand measures
In Philippeans.

Pal.
Then, besides this treasure,
He has of silver, I'll not call them piles,
But mountains;—Ætna's self is not so high.

Mil.
(To Pal. aside.)
Thou monstrous fibber!

Pal.
(To Milph.)
How I play him off!

Mil.
And I too,—how I gull the fool!

Pal.
Most rarely.

Mil.
Pray you, sweet Sir, dismiss me out of hand.

Pal.
Make her some answer,—that you will, or will not.
Why give the lady so much pain, that never
Deserv'd ill of you?

Pyrg.
Well then,—bid her come
To me in person,—tell her I will do
All she desires.

Mil.
You act as it behoves you,
Suiting your will to her's,—

Pal.
He's a sweet soul.—

Mil.
And that you have not scorn'd me poor petitioner,
But suffer'd me to win your fair consent.—
(Aside to Pal.)
So—how I tickle him!

Pal.
By heav'ns I can't
Restrain myself from laughing: therefore have I
Turn'd away from you.

Pyrg.
O thou know'st not, wench,
How much I honour her.

Mil.
I know, and will
Acquaint her with it.

Pal.
He might have sold his favours
Much dearer to another.

Mil.
I believe you.

Pal.
Those, that by him are happy mothers made,
Bring forth sheer warriours; and his children live
Eight hundred years.

Mil.
Fye on you for a fibber.

Pyrg.
Nay, but they live, I say, a thousand years,
Reckoning from age to age.

Pal.
I spoke within bounds,
Fearing to seem a lyar to her face.

Mil.
(Aside.)
I burst, I dye.—How many years must he
Himself live, when his children live so long?

Pyrg.
Wench, I was born upon the day next that,
When Jove was born of Ops.

Pal.
O had his birth
Preceeded Jove's one day, he had possess'd
The kingdom of the skies.

Mil.
Enough, sweet souls:
Let me be gone.

Pal.
Why don't you go then, since
You have your answer?

Mil.
I will go and bring
My mistress here.—Would you ought further with me?

Pyrg.
O may I ne'er be fairer than I am!
My beauty's such a plague to me.

Pal.
Why stay you?
Why don't you go?

(Aside to Mil.)
Mil.
I'm gone.

Pal.
And hearkye.—Tell her
All that has past.

Mil.
Her heart will leap within her.

Pal.
And tell Philocomasium, if she's yonder,
She must come home, for that the captain's here.

Mil.
She's yonder with my mistress, slily hearkening
Our conversation.

Pal.
'Tis well done:—they'll learn
The better how to act from having heard us.

Mil.
You hinder me.

Pal.
I leave you, I don't hinder you,
Nor do I touch you, nor—I say no more.

Pyrg.
Bid her come forth to us with instant speed:
All other matters we'll postpone to this.

[Milphidippa goes in.