University of Virginia Library

ACT V.

SCENE I.

Enter PERIPLECTOMENES with CARIO a Cook, and other Servants, dragging PYRGOPOLINICES.
PERIPLECTOMENES.
Bring him along;—or, if he will not follow,
Drag him out neck and heels, up with him, hoist him
Betwixt the earth and sky; cut him to pieces.

Pyrg.
Periplectomenes! I do beseech you—

Per.
In vain you do beseech me.—Cario! See
Your knife is sharp.

Car.
It longs to rip his belly.
I'll hang his chitterlings about his neck,
As children carry baubles.

Pyrg.
I am done for!

Car.
Hold, you cry out before you're hurt.—Now, now
Shall I have at him?

Per.
Let him first be cudgell'd.

Car.
Aye, lustily.

Per.
How durst you to attempt
Another's wife?

Pyrg.
As I do hope for mercy,
She made the first advances.

Per.
It's a lye.—
Lay on him.

(They are going to strike him.)
Pyrg.
Stay, and let me tell you—

Per.
Why
Don't you fall on?

Pyrg.
Will you not let me speak?

Per.
Speak.

Pyrg.
I was courted to come hither.

Per.
Ha!—
How durst you?—There,—take this. (Beating him.)


Pyrg.
Oh!—good Sir!—Oh!
I have enough—I pray you—

Car.
Shall I slice him?

Per.
Whene'er you will.—Come, stretch him out, spread out
His pinions.

Pyrg.
Hear me, I beseech you—

Per.
Speak,
Ere yet we make you nothing.

Pyrg.
I believ'd,
That she was husbandless; and so the maid,
Her pimp, informed me.

Per.
If we let you go,
Swear, you will not avenge you upon any one,
For that you have been, or you shall be beaten,—
Grandson of Venus!

Pyrg.
Both by her and Mars
I swear, I'll not avenge me upon any one,
For that I have been, or I shall be beaten;
But think it is my due:—should you proceed
To further outrage, I am justly punish'd.

Per.
What if you fail to do so?

Pyrg.
Never more
May I be trusted or in word or deed!

Car.
E'en let him have another drubbing;—then
I think you may dismiss him.

Pyrg.
Blessings on you,
For taking thus my part!

Car.
You'll give us therefore
A golden Mina.

Pyrg.
How!—on what account?

Car.
Because we let you off unmaim'd and whole,
Grandson of Venus! On no other terms
Wilt thou escape; don't flatter thee.—

Pyrg.
I'll give it.

Car.
'Tis the best way.—As for your cloaths, and sword,
Don't hope to have them back.—Suppose I gave him
Another drubbing, e'er you let him go.

Pyrg.
O I beseech you,—ye have made me tame
Already with your cudgels,—pray now.

Per.
Loose him.

Pyrg.
I thank you.

Per.
If I catch you poaching here
Henceforth, I'll send you back disqualified.

Pyrg.
I'll give you leave.

Per.
Come, Cario, we'll go in.

[Periplectomenes, Cario, and Servants, go in.
Pyrg.
I see some of my fellows coming hither.

SCENE II.

Enter SCELEDRUS, and other Servants.
Pyrg.
Philocomasium,—tell me, is she off?

Scel.
Aye, master, long ago.

Pyrg.
Ah me!

Scel.
You'd have
More cause to cry Ah me! if you but knew
What I know.—He there with the woollen compress
Before his eye, he was no sailor.

Pyrg.
How!
Who was he then?

Scel.
Philocomasium's lover.—

Pyrg.
How dost thou know?

Scel.
I know.—No sooner were they
Without the town's gate than they fell to slobbering
And hugging one another.

Pyrg.
Wretched fool!
I see at length I have been sweetly gull'd.—
That rascal of a fellow, that Palæstrio,
'Tis he has lured me into this vile snare.—
And yet I think it right.—If other letchers
Were serv'd like me, their number would decrease:
They would stand more in awe, and give their minds
Less to intrigue.—We'll in now.—Clap your hands.