University of Virginia Library

SCENE IV.

Another miserable Room, into which there is a Casement from Ubaldo's.
Ricardo discovered rising on his Hands, and Knees.
RICARDO.
Zounds! have you trap-doors, thro' which you like
To tumble men, three stories at a time.

UBALDO.
Stories? ay, waggishly told, no doubt,
At poor Ubaldo's cost.
[Looks thro' the window.
Who makes that noise there? help, if you be man.

RICARDO.
I know not if I'm man or no!—Besides,
I'm where I cannot help myself, and yet
I fain would see your visage—Ubaldo!
Oh! then thou hast chous'd thy friend, and fortune's smiles
Upon thee; thou'st brib'd that wanton lacquey
To throw me thus in durance vile; while thou
Hath stolen into the perfum'd robes, and gain'd
The costly vestments she design'd for me.

UBALDO.
Yes, truly, and in their bounty somewhat more!

RICARDO.
An upper blanket, which thou well can'st spare,
Kick'd from thy wanton chamber, would befriend
Me much in this extremity.

UBALDO.
A what Ricardo?—thou art mad!

RICARDO.
Why, hast thou not
My scented night cap, and my sattin vest?

UBALDO.
Who, I? Bare as a winter robin-red breast
Have they stript me! Prithee throw me
Thy cloak to cover me, for I'm almost
Frozen to death.

RICARDO.
My cloak! I've none left:
I'm strip't as bare as thou; and in return
They've given me, I see, the fool's cast suit.

UBALDO.
O then we're both undone! lend me thy hand, and roar
A little with me for some friendly succour.

[Comes thro' the window to Ricardo.
RICARDO.
Lady of the house!

UBALDO.
Grooms of the chamber!

RICARDO.
Gentlemen, milk-maids!

UBALDO.
Would you thus slay a pair of courtly Lords?

Enter HILLARIO in RICARDO's cloaths.
HILLARIO.
Hey day! not said your pray'rs, and gone to sleep?

Enter SOPHIA, CORISCA, Servants with lights.
UBALDO.
What, sweet hostess, must we be murder'd?

SOPHIA.
No, but soundly punish'd for your desert.

RICARDO.
Your'e not in earnest, I presume fair dame?

SOPHIA.
Judge as you find and feel; and now attend
To what I do irrevocably purpose:—
Forgetful of all hospitable duties,
You, with the defamation of my Lord,
Would fain have wrought upon my woman's weakness,
To yield my honour to your lawless sports!

HILLARIO.
Mark that, I pray, my wanton masters!

SOPHIA.
In doing this (I blush while I relate it!)
You have transgress'd against the dignity
Of man; who's bound by virtue to defend,
And not to violate fair female chastity!
But in the toils ye set, you're caught yourselves;
And therefore, do not hope to find from me,
The common sentence for offending man.
Such usage you have forfeited; therefore,
Like the most slavish of your sex, shall you be treated.

UBALDO.
How do you mean to use us?

SOPHIA.
Ease and excess of feeding, made you wanton:
A pleurify of ill blood you must let out:
By labour and spare diet refill your veins,
Or perish with hunger. Bring here a distaff;
Tho' no Omphale, or I do mistake it,
Nor you a second Hercules: fetch it.
[Exit Servant.
As you spin well at my command, and please me,
Your wages in the coarsest bread and water
Shall be proportionably encreased.

UBALDO.
I'll starve first!

SOPHIA.
That's as your Lordship pleases.

RICARDO.
I marvel!
What will be the destiny of poor Ricardo?

SOPHIA.
You shall have gentler work. I've oft observ'd
You proud to shew the fineness of your hand,
And softness of your fingers: you shall reel
What he doth spin: deliver their materials.
Now that you know your penance, fall to work,
Hunger will teach you to subdue your passions.

[Exit Sophia and Servants.
UBALDO.
I shall spin a fine thread here;
I cannot look
Upon such devices, but they'll put me in mind
Of rope-makers.

HILLARIO.
A good conceit truly,
For if you are industrious enough,
You'll just spin rope enough to hang you both,
Against my master does return from camp
To pass this honorable sentence on you!

RICARDO.
Let me have my cloaths again, I pr'ythee;
I was bountiful unto thee.

HILLARIO.
Oh, fie!
Forget such vanities; my livery there
Will serve you well enough to work in;
Besides, they're past the wearing of a Lord;
Nay, mine by promise, you yourself do know
You have no holidays coming, nor will I work
While these and this (purse)
lasts, and so, if you please,
Shut up your shop, and take yourselves to rest.

[Scene closes on Ubaldo and Ricardo.
[Exit Hillario.