University of Virginia Library

ACT III.

SCENE I.

HILLARIO discover'd in a mean habit, sitting near a spring in the front of the Castle.
HILLARIO.
Thin, thin provision!—I am dieted
Like one set to watch hawks; and to keep me waking,
Vile hunger croaks a perpetual larum in me!
—Here stand I centinel, and though I fright
Beggars from my lady's gate, in hopes to have
A larger share—I find my commons mend not!
—I look'd this morning into my glass—the river,
And there appear'd a fish call'd “a poor John,”
Cut with a lenten face after my own likeness;
And he seem'd to say, “Good morrow, cousin!”
—No man comes this way but has a fling at me.
A chirurgeon passing by, asked at what rate
I would sell myself?—for what use? quoth I?
To make, said he, a live anatomy,
As thou art transparent without dissection!
—They say, that famine dwells i'th' camp, tho' till
My lord returns, or certain tidings of him
She will stick close by me;—but sorrow's dry
And I must drink!
[Draws water with an earthen pitcher, and drinks.
A marvellous difference I vow, betwixt
This poor, and dropsical potation,
And a skinful of honest Canary!
What signifies it's curing the heart burn
When it gives me the heart-ache, and for which
This hard dry crust will prove no good specific!
I'll try if I can sing it away.
SONG.

Enter UBALDO, RICARDO, and GUIDE.
GUIDE.
That is the Lady's castle,
O' my certain knowledge.

RICARDO.
Our horses held out to admiration.

UBALDO.
I am on fire to see the quarry;
Plump and pretty, no doubt!

RICARDO.
Give me the cabinet.
[takes it from the Guide.
So; leave us now.

GUIDE.
Good fortune to you, most honourable gallants.
[Exit Guide.

UBALDO.
Being d'ye see, joint agents in a design
For the service of the Queen, and our own pleasure!
It behoves us, Ricardo, to proceed with judgment.

HILLARIO.
On my troth here seem to be two more sham knights,
Come, like me, to play the fool!

[Aside.
RICARDO.
If I take not
This fair fort, at the first assault,
So I may have precedence—

UBALDO.
On no terms;
We are both to besiege one prize; let him
Who carries her, enjoy it without contention.

RICARDO.
Agreed—but mind and make you your approaches
As I directed.

UBALDO.
Sir, I need no instructions;
I work on no man's anvil—But who have we here?
What skeleton's this?

RICARDO.
A ghost; thou image of famine,
Where dost thou dwell?

HILLARIO.
Dwell Sir? my dwelling is
I'th' highway. That goodly house was once
My habitation; but I am banish'd,
And canot be call'd home 'till news arrive
Of the good knight Eugenius.

RICARDO.
If that will restore thee,
Thou art safe—

UBALDO.
We come from him,
With presents to his lovely wife.

HILLARIO.
But are you sure
He is in health?

RICARDO.
Never so well; conduct us
To his fair Lady.

HILLARIO.
I will leap
Out of my skin for joy!—Break, pitcher, break;
And wallet, late my cupboard, I bequeath thee
To the next beggar; thou red herring, swim
To the red sea again! methinks I am already
Knuckle deep in the stew pots; and, tho' waking, dream
Of wine and plenty!

RICARDO.
What's the mystery
Of this strange passion?

HILLARIO.
My hunger, gentlemen,
Will not give me leave to tell you; when I have brought you
To my Lady's presence, I am disenchanted,
There you shall know all.—Follow: if I out-strip you,
Know I run for my belly.

UBALDO.
A mad fellow this, surely!

[Exeunt.

SCENE II.

Enter SOPHIA and CORISCA.
SOPHIA.
Do not again delude me with an idle tale.

CORISCA.
If I do, Madam, banish me to poor Hillario.
I stood as you commanded in the turret,
Observing all that passed by; and even now
I did discern a pair of cavaliers
With their guide dismounting; they said something
To our hungry centinel, that made him caper,
And frisk i' th' air for joy:—and to confirm all this,
See, Madam, they're in view.

Enter UBALDO, RICARDO, and HILLARIO.
HILLARIO.
Down on your knees with me; tidings of joy!
News from my Lord!—These are no counterfeits!—
Set out the cold chine, and ven'son pasties!
[Speaking within.
They are true knights indeed!—The cold chine I say,
And a bottle of canary!—Dear Madam, sign
My pardon, that I may once more feed again,
And pick up my crumbs, for indeed I've had
A long fast of it.

SOPHIA.
Thou may'st eat; I forgive thee!

HILLARIO.
O words most comfortable!
“Eat, I forgive thee!”
And if in this I do not soon obey you,
And cram unto the purpose—billet me again
I' th' highway—Butler and cook make ready,
For I shall enter like a tyrant, laying
All waste before me!
[Exit Hillario.

UBALDO.
I have been struck dumb
This half hour! Madam, since my faithful eyes
Were never happy in so sweet an object,
I presume, without enquiry, that you are
The fairer Lady of this fair castle,
And so salute you.

[Kisses her.
RICARDO.
Faith he has got the first bite at the cherry.
[Aside.
This letter, with these jewels from your Lord,
Warrant my boldness, Madam.

[Salutes her.
SOPHIA.
Heav'n in thy mercy make me
Thy thankful handmaid, for this bounteous blessing.

UBALDO.
I do not like
This simple devotion in her; it is seldom
Practis'd among our mistresses at court.

RICARDO.
Nor would they kneel, to I know not who, for the possession
Of such inestimable wealth, before
They thank'd the bringers of it? The poor Lady
Wants instruction, 'tis plain; I'll be her tutor,
And soon read her another lesson.

SOPHIA.
If I have
Shewn want of manners, gentlemen, in my slowness
To pay the thanks I owe your travel,
To do my Lord and me this noble favor,
Impute it, in your clemency, to the excess
Of joy that overwhelm'd me.

RICARDO.
She speaks it well.

UBALDO.
Polite, and courtly.

SOPHIA.
And howe'er it may
Increase th' offence, to trouble you with more
Demands touching my Lord, before I have
Invited you to taste, such as the plainness
Of my poor house can offer,—
Let me entreat, to learn from you something
In his letters he may have left unmention'd.

RICARDO.
I can only
Give you assurance that he is in health,
Grac'd by the King and Queen.

UBALDO.
And in the court
With admiration look'd on.

RICARDO.
You must therefore
Put off these homely garments, and appear
Like to yourself.

UBALDO.
And entertain all pleasures
Your fortune marks out for you.

RICARDO.
There are other
Droll particulars, which on occasion
I will deliver to you.

SOPHIA.
You oblige me,
To your service ever.

RICARDO.
Good! your service, mark that!

[To Ubaldo.
SOPHIA.
In the mean time, by your acceptance, make
My rustic entertainment relish of
The pleasures of the court.

UBALDO.
Your looks, sweet Madam,
Cannot but make each dish a feast.

SOPHIA.
It shall be
Such, in the freedom of my will to please you:
I'll shew the way; this is too great an honor
For me, so mean an hostess.

[Exeunt, Ricardo leading her out.

SCENE III.

A Garden by Moon light.
Enter ACANTHE, to Ruffians masqued.
ACANTHE.
You know your charge? give it due action, and expect
Rewards beyond your hopes.

1st RUFFIAN.
If we but eye 'em
They are ours, I warrant you.

2d RUFFIAN.
May we not ask why
We are put upon this?

ACANTHE.
Let that command your silence,
[Gives money.
And learn more manners, grooms: 'tis upon the hour
In which they're here expected; when you have 'em
In your power, instantly carry them to the place
Where I appointed, there will I expect you.
Be bold, and vigilant!
[Exit Acanthe.

Enter EUGENIUS and BAPTISTA.
1st RUFFIAN.
These are they!

2d RUFFIAN.
Are you sure?

1st RUFFIAN.
Am I sure I am myself?

2d RUFFIAN.
Seize on him quickly; if he have but means
To draw his sword, 'tis ten to one we smart for't.

[Aside.
EUGENIUS.
I cannot guess
What the Queen's intents are; but her carriage was
As I but now related.

BAPTISTA.
Your assurance
In the constancy of your Lady, is the armour
That must defend you. Where's the picture?

EUGENIUS.
Here; and no way alter'd, I think.

BAPTISTA.
If she be not perfect, there's no truth in art.

EUGENIUS.
By this I hope she hath receiv'd my letters?

BAPTISTA.
Without question.

EUGENIUS.
—Lend me your ear,
I have somewhat that requires your privacy.

Exeunt Eugenius and Baptista.
1st RUFFIAN.
Now they stand fair!—upon 'em.

[Exeunt.
EUGENIUS.
Villains!

[Behind.
BAPTISTA.
Traitors!

[Behind.

SCENE IV.

Enter EUBULUS.
EUBULUS.
I like not well this wooing embassy
Betwixt the Royal Pair.—A common man,
Who his own bed can tumble at his will,
Wants no such messenger to smoothe his way.

[Knocks at the Queen's anti-chamber.
ACANTHE, from window above.
ACANTHE.
Who knocks so loud without?

EUBULUS.
'Tis Eubulus,
Commission'd from her Lord to greet the Queen.

ACANTHE.
I'll tell her so, but doubt your errand's vain.
[Exit Acanthe.

EUBULUS.
With all my heart! Love frolics not with me,
A bachelor's the fellow after all!

ACANTHE re-appearing.
ACANTHE.
No suit will shake the Queen from her resolve;
Who craves the King's and your excuse, my Lord,
For this her solitude to-night.

EUBULUS.
'Tis well,
I'll trouble you no further.
[Exit Acanthe.
I had orders to win her woman's interest with a purse;
But such a traffic is too pitiful
For Eubulus! I ever thought a King
Might take up any at the King's good price,
And must he buy his own at dearer rate?
If this be long the fashion of the court,
Shame fall on such as use it!—My return
Will lack so much of comfort, that the King,
Howe'er his Queen may fare, will press, I doubt,
A joyless pillow.
[Exit Eubulus.

SCENE V.

Enter EUGENIUS.
EUGENIUS.
If I'm in a prison, 'tis a neat one;
What Œdipus can resolve this riddle?
I ne'er gave just cause to any man
Basely to plot against my life. But what is
Become of my Baptista? for him I suffer
More than myself.

ACANTHE.
Remove that idle fear;
[Behind.
He's safe as you are.

EUGENIUS.
Whosoe'er thou art,
For him I thank thee. I cannot imagine
Where I should be! Tho' I have read the table
Of errant knighthood, stuff'd with the relations
Of magical enchantments, yet am not I
So weakly credulous, to believe the fiend
Hath that way any power. Ha! music!

[A symphony.

AIR.
[Within.
Would you view the loveliest rose
Nature's fragrant charms disclose,
Every chilling thought remove,
Warm it with the breath of Love!

EUGENIUS.
A song too! and that in flowing measure;
Be what it may that owns this tuneful voice,
It hath not much acquaintance with affliction.
Whoe'er you are that do inhabit here,
If not aerial forms alone, approach!
Enter HONORIA veil'd.
And make me know your end with me—Most strange!
What have I conjur'd up? Sure, if this be
A spirit, 'tis no damned one! If that your lovely face
Have not too much divinity about it
For mortal eyes to gaze upon; oh! perfect what
You have begun with wonder,
To my astonish'd senses. (She unveils.)
How! the Queen!

[Kneels.
HONORIA.
Rise, Sir, and hear my reasons, in defence
Of that constraint which I've by force put on you:
You perhaps may think, what for my love you've suffer'd
Is a common practice with me; but I call
Those ever shining lamps, and their great Maker,
As witnesses of my innocence, I ne'er saw
Man but your dear self, on whom I ever
(Except the King) vouchsaf'd an eye of favor.

EUGENIUS.
The King, and only such a King, deserves
Your favor, Madam; for myself, great Queen,
I am a thing obscure, disfurnish'd of
All merit that can raise me higher, than
In my most humble gratitude, for your bounty,
To hazard my life for you, and that way,
I am most ambitious.

HONORIA.
I desire no more
Than what you promise. If you dare expose
Your life, as you profess, to do me service,
How can it better be employ'd than in
Preserving mine? which only you can do,
Nay, must do, with the danger of your own.

EUGENIUS.
Pray you forbear:
I would I did not understand too much
Already; by your lips I am instructed
To credit that, which not confirm'd by you,
I should have deem'd dissimulation,
Tho' an angel's voice had thus affirm'd it.
But were you cloy'd with happiness that's built
On lovely chastity, which I still doubt,
—Amid ten thousand every way more apt
To be thus wrought on, being your subjects,
Why should you deign to chuse out me, a stranger?
Proud in the tented field I'll fight your cause;
Or with this arm—

HONORIA.
I need no champion
With sword to guard my beauty, or my honor;
In both I can defend myself, and live
My own protectress.

EUGENIUS.
If these advocates,
The best that plead in my behalf, want pow'r,
What can be found in me to tempt you thus,
To war against yourself?

HONORIA.
I will be plain:
It is your loyalty unto your wife,
Hath rais'd my envy, and inspir'd my love!

EUGENIUS.
These are mere contraries: if you love me, Madam,
For my constancy, why seek you to destroy it?
In my keeping, it preserves me worth your favor!
Or if it be a jewel of that value,
As you with labour'd rhet'ric would persuade me,
What can you stake against it?

HONORIA.
A Queen's fame,
And equal honors.

EUGENIUS.
Is it in man
To resist such strong temptations?

HONORIA.
He begins
To waver.

[Aside.
EUGENIUS.
Madam, as you are gracious,
Grant me this one short night's deliberation,
And with the rising sun you shall
Receive my answer.

HONORIA.
Tho' extremes
Hate all delay, I will deny you nothing—
This key will bring you to your friend. You're safe;
And all things that imagination could prepare,
For one I love and honour, wait upon you.—
Take counsel of your pillow; such a fortune
As with affection's swiftest wing now seeks you,
Will not again await you.
[Exit Honoria.

EUGENIUS.
How my blood
Rebels!—I now could call her back, and yet
There's something stays me; if the King had tender'd
Such favors to my wife, 'tis to be doubted
They had not been refus'd—But as a man
I should not yield, and prove the first example
For her defence of frailty!—By this, perhaps
She's tempted too! but here I may examine.
[Looks at the Picture.
No, my Sophia's still the same—the same
Pure chrystal rock of innocence! perish all
Allurements that may alter me!—The snow
Of her sweet chastity hath quite put out
The fire that but e'en now began to flame;
And I by her confirm'd, rewards, nor titles,
Nor death in all its terrors, from the Queen herself,
Shall shake my constant faith!

[Exit.

SCENE VI.

Enter UBALDO and RICARDO.
UBALDO.
We've laid a good foundation; for 'tis clear
Our tale begins to work! But come!
By lot, you know, I first must wooe her.

RICARDO.
Plague take it, you have the felicity
Of the first advance; but as it is condition'd,
Observe the time proportion'd by us both,
With this repeater I shall minute you.
Panting for my share in the atchievement,
When I cry hem! fall off!

UBALDO.
I will; provided you are like observant.
Stand by, she comes: I'll watch my opportunity.

Enter SOPHIA.
SOPHIA.
Strangely distracted with the various stories,
Now well, now ill, then doubtfully by my guests
Deliver'd of my lord,—and like poor beggars
That in their dreams find treasure, by reflection
Of a wounded fancy, make it questionable
Whether they sleep or not;—in some such measure
Incredulous of what I see, and touch,
As 'twere a fading apparition, I
Am still perplex'd and troubled; and when most
Confirm'd 'tis true, a curious jealousy
To be assur'd, by what means, and from whom,
Such a mass of wealth was first deserv'd, then gotten,
Cunningly steals in upon me. I have practis'd
For my certain resolution with these courtiers,
Promising private conference to either,
And at this hour; if in the search of truth
I hear, or say, more than becomes my virtue
Forgive me my Eugenius!

UBALDO.
Now I advance—
[Aside.
Madam, as you commanded me, I attend
Your pleasure.

SOPHIA,
I must thank you for the favor.

UBALDO.
Tho' I am no ghostly father; yet, if you have
Some scruples, touching your lord, you wou'd be resolv'd of,
I am prepar'd.

SOPHIA.
But will you take your oath
To answer truly those?

UBALDO.
On those orthodox lips, if you please,
A vow I dare not break, it being a holy book
I would gladly swear on.

SOPHIA.
To spare, Sir, that trouble,
I'll take your word, which, in a gentleman,
Should be of equal value. Is my lord then
In such grace with the Queen?

UBALDO.
I fain would tell the truth
As decently as I could, yet the subject
May make me run out a little.

SOPHIA.
Oh! you would put
A foolish jealousy in my head, that he
Hath gotten a new mistress.

UBALDO.
One? a hundred!
But under seal I speak it:—I presume
Upon your silence, it being for your profit.—
Such a soldier, and such a courtier never came
To Alba Regalis:—the ladies run mad for him!
Nay, there is such a contention among them
Who shall engross him wholly, that the like
Was never heard of.

SOPHIA.
Are they handsome, Sir?

UBALDO.
Fie! oh, coarse mammets: and what's worse, they're old;
Some fifty, others threescore, and upwards!

RICARDO.
'Tis time I call him off.

[Hems!
UBALDO.
I could tell you of wonders great and strange,
Of the deeds he has done, (Ricardo hems!)
but matters
Of great import, for the present, call me hence—Those arrang'd,
I'll instantly return.

[Steps aside.
SOPHIA.
There's something more
In this than bare suspicion!

RICARDO.
Save you, Madam!
Now you look like yourself—I've not beheld
A lady more complete—yet let me see,
[Examines her jewels.
Yes, yes, I am certain I have seen a madam
Wear jewels of that water and dimensions.

SOPHIA.
What madam, Sir?

RICARDO.
Nay, nothing: yet methinks
I should this ruby know: yes, it is the same;
This chain of orient pearl, and this bracelet,
Have been worn before.

SOPHIA.
Why, Sir? how were they gotten, say?

RICARDO.
Not in the field with his sword, upon my life.
[Eubal. hems.
Plague on't, how fast the minutes glide away!
[Aside.
Pray you, fair lady, to excuse my manners.
I left a letter in my chamber window,
Which I would not have seen on any terms:
Fie on my carelessness—but this I'll soon dispatch.

[Withdraws.
SOPHIA.
This is strange! His letters said these jewels were
Presented him by the Queen, as a reward
For his good service! What can all this mean?

Enter UBALDO.
UBALDO.
I was telling you of wonders, Madam:

SOPHIA.
If you are so skilfull,
Without premeditation answer me:
Know you these jewels?

UBALDO.
Mercy! how things will out!
But that I might, perchance, give you offence,
And wrong my more than noble friend,
Your husband (for we are sworn brothers)
In the discovery of his nearest secrets, I could—

SOPHIA.
Could? By the hope of that savour then,
Which you have for me, out with it!

UBALDO.
Nay, this is a spell so potent, that I
Cannot resist.—Why, I will tell you, Madam;
And to how many several ladies you are
Beholden for your pretty trappings.—This was
The necklace of Paulina, a rich Courtezan;
Worn but a day, when she married old Gonzago,
And left off trading,

SOPHIA.
Oh, my heart!

UBALDO.
This chain
Of pearl was a great widow's, that invited
Your Lord to a masque; and the weather proving foul,
He lodg'd in her house all night—and merry they were!
But how he came by it, I know not.

SOPHIA.
Perjur'd man!

UBALDO.
O, there's not a single gem, or jewel in the court,
But may be at his command.

SOPHIA.
(Agitated)
I commend him!
But, I pray you, leave me
A little to myself.

Enter RICARDO.
UBALDO.
You may command
Your servant, Madam: she's stung to the quick.

[to Ric.
RICARDO.
I did my part: if this work not, hang me.
Let her sleep as well as she can to night; to-morrow
We'll mount new batteries!

UBALDO.
And till then leave her.

[Ex. Ubal. and Ric.
SOPHIA.
Ye Powers that take into your care the guard
Of innocence, aid me! for I am a creature
So forfeited to despair, hope cannot fancy
A ransom to redeem me. I begin to
Waver in my faith, and make it doubtful
Whether the Saints, so canonized for
Their holiness of life, sinn'd not in secret,
Since my Eugenius is fall'n from his virtue
In such an open fashion. Could it be else
That such a husband, so devoted to me,
So vow'd to temp'rance,—for unhallow'd gifts
Should thus to wantons sacrifice his fame?
Was't for this he left me?
Was it not enough to cloath me with the shame,
But he must make me wear their am'rous spoils!
Here will I tear them off; and with my tears,
Their poison wash away!—Yet hold! who knows
But these are false and wanton knaves, who
Traduce his honor with the basest views.
His long-try'd love a different tale relates,
And bids me not too rashly censure him:
At least these Lords with keener eye I'll read,
Ere I impute to him so foul a deed!

[Ex.