 | Humour out of breath |  |
ACTUS I.
Scena. I.
Enter Octauio Duke of Venice, Hippolito and Francisco his sonnes, Florimell his daughter: Hortensio and others attendants.Octa.
Sonnes, hopefull buddes of fruitfull Italy,
Hauing banisht war which like a prodigall
Kept wastfull reuells with our subiects bloud:
Since proude Anthonio our arch-enemy
Is in his iourney towards th'vnderworld,
Or houers in the shade of banishment;
Let vs in peace smile at our victory,
And euery brest passe his opinion
What pastime best becomes a conqueror.
Fran.
What sport but conquest for a conqueror,
Then with our wounds vndrest, our steeds still armd,
Branded with steele ere we wipe of the bloud
Of conquerd foes, lets with our shriller bugles
Summon the surly Landlord of the forrest,
The Kingly Lyon to a bloudy parle,
Combat the Hart, the Leopard or the Bore,
In single and aduenturous hardyment:
The spirit of mirth in manly action rests,
Hauing queld men lets now go conquer beasts.
Oct.
Manly resolu'd; Hippolitoes aduise.
Hip.
Rather like souldiers, and Octauioes sonnes,
Lets throw a generall challenge through the world,
For a proud turney, at the which our selues
Accoutred like so many Gods of warre,
VVill keepe the lists gainst all aduenturers,
VVhich like the suns light sigurd in a star,
Should be a briefe Epitome of war.
Oct.
Noble and royall, your opinion daughter.
Flo.
Faith I shall anger souldiers, I woulde poure
Spirit of life, Aurum Potabils
Into the iawes of chap-falne schollership,
That haue since amorous Ouid was exild,
Lyen in a sowne, y'aue many holds for war,
I would once view a garrison for witte:
Twere heauenly sport to see a traine of schollers
Like old traind soldiers skirmish in the schooles,
Trauerse their Ergoes and discharge their iests
Like peales of small-shot, were this motion granted
My selfe would be free woman of their hall,
And sit as sister at their festiuall.
Oct.
Haue we not Padua
Flo.
Yes, but the commaunders
Deale with our graduates, as the generall
Doth with his souldier, giues him place for fauoure,
Not for deseruing, looke intoo't your selfe,
You haue Courts for tennis, and me thinkes t'were meet,
Learning should not stand balling in the street
For want of houseroome: oh tis much vnfit
Courtiers should be all pleasure and small wit.
Oct.
All that you speake is but what we command
Flo.
But Officers father cannot vnderstand
Their Lords at first: wert not a gallant sight,
To see wits army royall come from fight?
Some crownd with gold, others with wreath of bayes,
And whilst they hold their solemn holydaies,
Musick should like a louer court the skies,
And from the world wrest ringing plaudities.
Hip.
My sister would make a rare beggar.
True, shee's parcell Poet, parcell fidler already, and they.
commonly sing three parts in one.
Oct.
Wrong neither art nor musicke, they are twins
Borne and be got in heate, your thought of both.
Flo.
I thinke my Lord that musick is diuine,
Whose sacred straines haue power to combine
The soule and body; and it reason beares,
For it is said that the Celestiall spheres,
Dance to Apolloes lyre whose sprightly fires
Haue tamd rude beasts and charmd mens wild desires:
The author was immortall, the first strings,
Made by a King, therefore an art for Kings:
The world's a body, euery liberall art
A needfull member, musick the soule and hart.
Oct.
VVell for hir sex hath Florimell discourst
Of heauenly musicke, and since all conclude
It is an art diuine, we were too rude
Should we reiect it, musick, I take great pride,
To heare soft musick and thy shrill voice chide.
Flo.
To please your grace, though J want voice and skill,
Ile shew my selfe obedient to your will.
sing.
Fra.
This would haue done rare at a schollers window,
How do you like it father?
‘Oct.
Highly my boies, I rellish all delight,
‘For when the fiery spirit of hot youth
‘Kept house within me, I was all delight:
‘Then could I take my loue, no loue more fayre
‘By the smooth hand, and gazing in loues ayre
‘Tell her her beauty beautifide the skie,
‘And that the sunne stole lustre from her eye.
Fra.
I do admire to heare my princely father
thus merrilie discourse of trifling loue.
‘Oct.
Nay more my boyes, when J was at your yeares,
‘I went a pilgrimage through Italie,
‘to find the shrine of some loue-hallowed saynt,
‘Deuote to beauty, I would pray for loue,
‘Admiring beauty I would serue for loue:
‘Pray, sue, and serue, till beauty graunted loue.
‘If she denyd me I would sweare she graunted,
‘If she did sweare that she could neuer loue me,
‘Then would I sweare she could not chuse but loue me:
‘Let her sweare nere so much, still haue I sworne,
‘Till she had said, I should not be forsworne.
Flo.
I marry brothers, here was cunning loue,
Learne like good schollers, heele make you wise in loue:
He was a man in loue, were you such men,
Then were you men indeed, but boyes till then.
Fr.
To please my Father, ile inquest of beauty,
And neuer make returne till I haue found,
A loue so faire, so rich, so honorable,
As fits the honor of Octauioes sonnes.
Hip.
The like (you pleasd) vowes young Hippolito.
‘Oct.
Doe boyes, and I will teach you how to chuse them.
‘Elect not mongst whole troupes of Courtly dames,
‘For amongst many, some must needs be ill:
‘The seld seene Phœnix euer sits alone,
‘Ioue courted Danae when she was alone:
‘Alone my boyes, that is the onely way,
‘Ladies yeeld that alone, they els say nay.
Flo.
An expert souldier; how shall they choose them Father?
‘Oct.
If her bright eye dim not the Diamond,
‘Say it is bright, but brighter iems delight you,
‘If that her breath do not perfume the ayre;
‘Say it is sweet, but sweeter sweets content you.
‘If that her cheeke compared to the Lilly,
‘Make not the Lilly black with whiter whitenesse;
‘Say it is Lilly white, but black to white,
‘When your cholle white must haue such high exceeds.
Flo.
Father you do exceed things possible,
Faith say how many Ladyes haue you seene,
Much fayrer then my selfe, in all your trauayle?
Should the Crow teach me, then no Lady fayrer,
If iudgement tell me, then a many fayrer:
Thou art myne owne, J must thinke well of thee,
Yet Florimella many doe excell thee.
Flo.
Should the Crow teache, I am not all Crow blacke.
Though iudgement; J not all perfection black,
Though you haue seene Ladyes that dim the day,
Yet will J thinke my selfe as fayre as they.
Oct.
Doe Florimella, and ile one day get,
A husband for thee that shall thinke thee fayre.
Fla.
And tyme ifaith, that prety sport would be,
Wiue it for them, you shall not husband me.
Oct.
Yet you will take my counsell in your choise.
‘Flo.
Yes, if I had not yeares ynough to choose,
‘Would you direct me as you doe your sonnes?
‘With daughter take a man with such a nose,
‘With such an eye, with such a colour beard,
‘Thus big, thus tall, with all his teeth afore;
‘Thus lipt, thus legd, thus handsome, thus apparrelld,
‘Were not this pittifull! o pittifull:
‘Now by the soule of soule-commaunding loue,
‘I will not stoope to such obedience,
‘I must be bid to blush when I am kist,
‘Bid my loue welcome, and I thanke you sir,
‘With no indeed, I know not what loue is,
‘I neuer heard so much of loue before,
‘I pray take heede, nay fie you goe too far,
‘With such a rabble of prescriptions,
‘As neuer mayd of a Conceiuing spirit,
‘Will follow them, yet brothers goe you on,
‘Take you good counsell, Flormell will none,
Exit.
Oct.
I daughter? are you so experiencd?
An elder woman might haue spoken lesse,
Yet by your leaue mynion, ile watch you so,
Your I shall still be gouernd by my no.
But come my sonnes take patterne of great Ioue,
Exeunt.
Enter Anthonio Duke of Mantua, Hermia and Lucida his daughters, they with angels and he with a net.
Ant.
Go daughters with your Angels to the brooke,
And see if any siluer-coated fish,
Will nibble at your worme-emboweldhooks:
Deceiue the watry subiects, yet the name
Of foule deceit me thinks should fray them from you,
Alack, alack, I cannot blame the world,
That in the world there is so much deceipt;
When this poore simple trade must vse deceipt.
But with what conscience can J make this net,
Within whose meshes all are caught that come:
They cousen one at once, this cousens many,
I will vndoo't it shall not cousen any.
But daughters go practise that little sinne,
Ile mend this great fault ere the fault begin.
O cousening fortune how hast thou deceiu'd me,
Turning me out a doores to banishment,
And made another Lord of Mantua.
I that was Lord now slaue to misery.
Her.
Take comfort yet deare father.
Ant.
Comfort? no:
My brest's turnd prison, my proude iaylor woe,
Locks out all comfort: whers your valiant brother?
Her.
All discontent like to a wounded lyon
He forrages the woods, daring proude fortune
At her best weapon, he accounts this smart,
As a slight hurt, but far off from the hart.
Anth.
How holds his humour?
Luc.
The same fashion still:
But somwhat sadder-colourd death may end
But neuer change him, see our words haue raisd him.
Enter Aspero.
Anth.
Fitly applide for a walks like a ghost.
Why how now sonne?
Peace.
Her.
Brother.
Asp.
Good now peace,
VVake me not as you loue me.
Luc.
VVhat a sleepe?
Asp.
I, in a most sweet sleepe, blisters o'your tongues for waking
me.
Anth.
Thou forgettest thy selfe.
Asp.
J should not be a Courtier els, mee thought J was at a
strange wedding?
Anth.
Prithee what wedding?
‘Asp.
Of a young Lawyer and old Madam Conscience.
‘Anth.
I scarce beleeue that.
‘Asp.
Nor J neither, because it was a dreame, but mee thought
the yong man doted on the old woman exceedingly.
‘Anth.
That was miraculous! did they liue together?
‘Asp.
In the country they did, and agreed passing well, all the
long vacation, and but for two things he would haue carried her
vp to the terme with him.
Ant.
VVhat things were those?
‘Asp.
One was, because her gowne was of the old fashion, the
other was cause he would not haue her by when he tooke fees.
‘Ant.
His reason for that?
‘Asp.
For feare if a bribe had bin offered, she being by he shold
haue had the bad conscience to take it.
‘Anth.
His wife and he liued together.
‘Asp.
Conscience and the Lawyer, as louingly as men and their
wiues do, one flesh, but neither medle nor make one with another
‘Ant.
Man and wife part, thats strange!
‘Asp.
O lord sir, profit can part the soule and the body, and why
not man and wife, now you haue had my dreame father, let me
vnderstand yours.
Anth.
How can he dreame, that neuer sleeps my sonne?
Asp.
O best of all: why, your whole world doth nothing but
dreame, your machiauell he dreames of state, deposing kings,
grounding new monarchies: the louer hee dreames of kisses,
amorous embraces: the newe-married wife dreames,
her dreame well ynough too: the Country gentlewoman dreams
that when her first husband's dead, she marries a knight, and the
name of Lady sticks so in her mind, that shees neuer at hearts-ease
till she get her husband dub'd; the Captaine, he dreames of
oppressing the souldiers, deuising stratagēs, to keep his dreame,
and that dreame wakes in the pate of Octauio your Arch-enemy,
who is not content to hurle vs into the whirlepoole of banishment,
but binds waights at our heeles leaden pouerty, to sinke vs
to the very depth that we should neuer rise againe.
Her.
Then since all dreame, let vs dreame of reuenge.
Asp.
I marry sister, that were a dreame worth dreaming, and ile
sleepe out my braines but ile compasse it.
Anth.
Pretty content; we kill our foes in dreames.
Asp.
Vds foot, ile doe it waking then.
Anth.
Aspero.
Asp.
At Counsell table.
Anth.
Heare me.
Asp.
In his Dutches armes, twere base to go disguisd,
No, my reuenge shall weare an open brow;
J will not play the coward, kill him first
And send my challenge after; ile make knowne
My name, and cause of comming, if I thought
Griefe like a painter had so spoyl'd mmy visage
He could not know me, on my breast ide write
How ere I am disfigured through woe,
J am the thing was made for Aspero.
Speake not, I am as constant as the Center,
Some fortune good or bad doth beckon me,
And I will run, bitter reuenge tasts sweete,
Jf nere on earth farewell, in heauen weele meete.
Attendance sirra, your low Commedie,
Craues but few Actors, weele breake company.
Anth.
As many blessings as the sea hath sands
Exit cum Pucro
Attend thee in thine honorable iourney:
Come pretty maides we haue not wrought to day,
Exeunt.
Enter Hippolito, Francisco, Florimell, and Page meeting them.
Fr.
Now sirra what haue you been about?
Page.
About my liuing sir.
Hip.
Whats that? feeding?
Pa.
No sir, looking into the vnderofficers about the Court.
Hip.
Canst get any liuing out of them?
Pa.
I sir, my betters get good liuings out of officers, and why
not I? but to be plaine, J haue bin seeking your good Lordship.
Fr.
But your boyship hath so sought vs, that wee haue found
you.
Page.
VVill you sell your findings my Lord?
Hip.
They are scarce worth giuing.
Flo.
Yes, a boxe to keepe them in, for feare you loose them againe.
Pa.
And I were a man as I am no woman, id'e pepper your box
for that ieast.
Flo.
You ieast.
Pa.
In earnest law I would Madam.
Fr.
VVell sir, no more, here comes our royall Father.
Enter Octauio, Hortensio, Flamineo, &c.
Oct.
How now my boyes? prouided for your iourney?
Beauty conduct you: what, attyrd like shepheards?
I thought t'haue seene you mounted on your steeds,
Whose fiery stomackes from their nostrills breath
The smoke of courage, and whose wanton mouthes
Do proudely play vpon their yron bits:
And you in stead of these poore weeds in robes,
Richer then that which Ariadne wroughte,
Or Cytharaes aery-mouing vestment.
Thus should you seeme like louers suited thus,
y'oude draw faire Ladies harts into their eies,
Fr.
Father such cost doth passe your sons reuenues
We take example from immortall Ioue,
Who like a shepheard would repaire to loue.
Oct.
And gentle loue conduct you both my sonnes,
Daughter go bring them onward in their way,
Were not we cald back by important busines,
We would not leaue you thus: Hortensio
Is my disguise prepard, for J vnknowne
VVill see how they behaue themselues in loue.
Hort.
Tis done my Lord.
Oct.
Once more my boyes adieu:
He sends you forth that meanes to follow you.
Exit.
Flo,
Now brothers you must amongst these wenches,
Faith for a wager which shall get the fairest?
Fr.
Ile gage a 100. crownes mine proues the fairest.
Hip.
A match, ile venter twice so much of mine.
Flo.
And ile lay gainst you both, that both your loues
Get them when you can where you can, or how you can, shall
not be able to compare with me in beauty.
Fran.
That wager ile take for tis surely won.
Hip.
Las thou art but a star to beauties sun.
Flo.
Star me no stars, go you and stare for loue,
Ile stay at home, and with my homely beauty
Purchase a loue, shall thinke my looks as faire,
As those faire loues that you shall fetch so far;
But take your course, fate send you both faire lucke.
Fr.
How if't be fowle?
Flo.
Nay ift be forked, you must beare it off with head and
shoulders.
Fr.
Oh stale, that ieast runs oth'lees.
Flo.
You must consider tis drawne out of the bottome of my
witte.
Fr.
O shallow wit, at the bottome so soone.
Flo.
Deepe ynough to lay you in the mire.
Or els tis shallow indeede, for they are foundred already,
but I must play dun, and draw them all out o'th mire,
Flo.
Which of them dost aske? thou seest they are two.
Pag.
VVhat two are they Madam?
Flo.
VVhy two fooles.
Fr.
Is it not past two, doth it not come somewhat neere three
sister:
Page.
Shew perryall and tak't, but come my Lord you haue
stood fooling long ynough, will you about your busines in good
earnest?
Fra.
Indeed we will.
Flo.
And they are deeds you must trust too, for women will respect
your words but slitely without deeds.
Page.
VVhy, are women called Angells but because they delight
in good deeds, and loue heauen, but that it will not be won
without them.
Fr.
They shall haue deeds.
Flo.
Brother, and good deeds too:
They are tongues that men must speake with when they wo.
Hip.
That tongue weel practise, to loue we leaue you.
Exeunt brothers.
Flo.
Louers take heed least cunning loue deceiue you.
Exit with Page.
Finis actus primi.
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