 | The Sophister |  |
Actus primus
Scena prima.
Enter Fallacy alone, with a darke Lanthorne.Fallacy.
Not yet begins the East-disturbing Morne
To draw aside Nights sable Canopie,
Nor heavens great Spy, whose curious search displayes
The worlds close errors, yet o'relooks the earth,
When now long since lazy & slow-pac't sleepe
Hath posted by my scarce saluted eyes:
And let him passe; hee's not that powerfull God,
Whom ever-waking Fallacy adores.
Sacred Deceit, to thee be consecrate
My Temples, aid thou Goddesse mine attempt,
I soone will free me. Here comes my servant Ambiguity.
Amb.
I am in doubt, and I thinke cannot easily be resolved,
whether it were better living in Hell, where there is
no day; or at my Masters, where there is no night: I cannot
tell what any yong Gentlewoman would answer to the blind
Philosophers question. I am sure to me, Nulla videtur voluptas
nocturna: There cannot the least sleepe harbour under
my browes, but it is presently started with the loud cryes
of my Master. Melancholy keeps him alwayes waking, and
his envy will not suffer me to take any rest: Then my head
hath scarce forgot my pillow, when his buzzing Suitors
swarming about me, sting my eares like Hornets: like ghosts
on this side Cocytus, they flock thither in infinite multitudes,
to be wafted over to Hell: I would they were all once shipt
thither, and dispatched; they are so importunate, that I could
curse Nature who hath given me two eares to heare them,
and but one tongue (though that indifferent double) to answer
them. But at length I bethought me, she hath given me
two leggs to convey me from them.
Fal.
'Twere good she had given you more eyes to see your
Master.
Amb.
I would shee had given me yours, you might not
have seene your man.
Fal.
Well sir, I hope shee would have left me hands to
have felt him. But hast thou brought what I bid thee?
Amb.
I have Sir, and I have not.
Fal.
I was about to thanke you Sir, but now I thanke you not.
What hast thou done?
Amb.
I have brought Sir, but not as you bid me.
Fal.
Villaine, goe runne againe.
Amb.
Nay Sir, I thought it better to bring two Violls at
one going, than at twice going one Violl. There were two
of water of the same colour, and I have brought them both.
Well, where are they?
Amb.
Here sir.
He deliuereth the Violls to his Master.
Fal.
So double diligence, 'Tis no great matter: Indeed
their colours are the same, and their effects not much unlike.
This being tasted, causeth drunkennesse; this sudden madnesse:
and this is the drinke I have provided for my Fathers
mornings draught. Sirrah take you that, you may chance to
have use of it; you know the vertue?
He gives one to Ambiguity.
Amb.
Yes Sir.
Fal.
And now what are these Suitors that so much trouble
you?
Amb.
Master, you have seene Deaths dance in Boccus, Merchants,
Vittulers, Vintners, Tobacco-men, Informers, Projectors,
all those that mourn'd at Tigellius his Funerall;
I am sure you know them.
Fal.
And know my selfe unable to content them.
Riches and honour, all the worlds delights
Their hearts desire, I have given them,
And like the Farmer old Stercatius,
Still toyling in his dung-hill, or his field,
As with his grosser soule best sympathizing,
Spending his spirits, sparing of his pelfe,
Defraudeth his owne Genius, all to make
His Masters Sonne an upstart Gentleman
Of Innes of Court: so have I hitherto
On this still-craving brood freely bestowed
My choisest favours, to advance their states:
Whilst I my selfe in scorne and infamy,
Have basely liv'd, am basely like to dye.
And could I suffer this so vile contempt?
Yet am I hated too; who can endure
Contempt and hatred to goe unreveng'd?
Or were't else where, I might containe my selfe,
Dissemble this my griefe, neglect my shame.
But heere within the great Hermenia,
A thousand times 'tis worse than cursed death.
But that which more torments my vexed soule,
Bold Demonstration, and quick Topicus,
Though better borne, yet both my yonger brothers,
Are every where admired, and beloved.
Them old Discourse, our too much doating Father,
Kisses, embraces, seekes to magnifie.
On them the Vulgar and Nobility
With no lesse joy doe fixe their gazing eyes,
Than the neare-death escaping Mariners
Vpon faire Ledaes Twinnes, if they appeare
After a tempest, when the Heavens are cleare.
To them which scarce my spite-swolne tongue can speake,
My heart abhorres to thinke, are destined
The faire Scientia and Opinion
In happy Spousals to be married:
Now Fallacy, 'tis thou must this prevent,
Or pine in griefe, in shame, in discontent.
And see (o fairest Opportunity)
That ever favour'sts Fallacies attempts,
I'le kisse thy gracious hand, and with my heart
Embrace thy sweet-selfe-offering courtesie.
Here comes my Father, stand aside.
Enter Discour. Demonstr. Topicus: Disc. sits downe.
SCENA SECVNDA.
Disc.Well hath the great Creator of the world
Fram'd it in that exact and perfect forme,
That by it selfe unmoveable might stand,
Supported onely by his Providence.
Well hath his powerfull Wisdome ordered
Th'in nature disagreeing Elements,
That all affecting their peculiar place,
Maintaine the conservation of the whole.
Well hath he taught the swelling Ocean
He should insult upon the conquerd Land.
Well hath he plac't those Torches in the Heavens,
To give light to our else all darkned eyes:
The Chrystall windows thorough which our soule
Looking upon the worlds most beauteous face,
Is blest with sight and knowledge of his workes.
Well hath he all things done: for how alas
Could any strength or wit of feeble man
Sustained have that greater Vniverse,
Too weake an Atlas for one Common-wealth?
How could he make the Earth, the Water, Aire,
And Fire, in peace their duties to observe,
Or bridle up the head-strong Ocean,
That cannot rule the wits and tongues of Man,
And keepe them in? it were impossible
To give light to the world, with all his Art,
And skill, that cannot well illuminate
One darkened understanding. Oh my sonnes,
Never admire the Seate of government,
Nor let the haughty and ambitious thoughts
Of an aspiring minde, inflame your hearts
To climbe up to the false-supposed Heaven
Of high-authority.
Fal.
Now I thinke I am prevented: is he not starke mad already?
He talkes idely.
Disc.
The Chaire of State,
Though glorious seeming, oft proves dangerous,
Is alwayes troublesome, alwayes envied.
J heare the Regent of this onely Land
Not altogether unexperienced,
Having the assistance of grave Counsellers,
Ready to faint with burthen of my cares,
Thinke happy great Tiphoeus, who, they say
Lies pressed downe under large Sicily.
Your loving Sonne, if his purpose hold, will ease
you; you shall not thinke Ætna upon your shoulders, he wil
make your head light enough.
Disc.
Let then your true affection so well plac't
On well deserving, well requiting loves,
Doubly reflecting on your nearer selves,
Grow strong in fast united amity;
That what no single strength or wit can doe,
Vertue conjoyned, may attaine unto.
But Demonstration call young Intellect
To be instructed; he was hither sent
By that great Empresse of the Isle of Man,
Renowned Anima his carefull Mother,
And as his youth, this child-hood of the day
Will best admit the best impressions.
But who's that? Fallacy? and whence come you?
Exit Demonstration.
Fal.
My gracious Father, carried on the wings
Of my ne're sleeping Piety, I came
From my owne house to doe my humble duty
Vnto your Majesty.
Disc.
Your earlinesse hath made some hast, but a report of you
From farre, before you, late hath beene with me.
How commeth it to passe thus, ô my sonne!
Vnhappy sonne, borne to thy fathers shame,
Living unto his griefe, thou causest me
In all the world to be ill spoken of
Through thy most lewd behaviour, I heare say
With Juglers, Cony-catchers, Gypsies, Rogues,
Base gamesters, lying Mountebanks, vild bawds,
And most damn'd couzners, you keepe company,
At blind Ale-houses, Innes, and Ordinaries,
Whore-houses, and Apothecary-shops,
With such like places, you doe still frequent,
Where you abuse the plaine simplicity
That breath where-with I would have blessed thee,
Into deserved cursings; and I ought
Profusely powre it forth in chiding thee.
But oh though wicked, yet I thinke my sonne,
I doe intreate thee; I will sue to thee
To leave these courses, and at length begin
Better to governe thy misguided selfe:
Looke to thy brothers, and not scorne to learne;
To me they duely doe performe their dutie
To men they doe approve their honesty.
He coughs.
Top.
Sir, will it please you to drinke this morning?
Disc.
Yes, I am dry with talking.
Exit Topicus.
Fal.
Then may it please your grace to give me leave
To speake in poore defence of my just cause.
Dis.
Say what thou canst, and oh I would thou couldst
Cleare thee of these foule accusations?
Fal.
First may I Sir, full worthily except
Against the oft-false-proved messenger,
Ever to be suspected, lying fame.
Then I appeale unto the Testimony
Of all the world, whether I have not
Alwayes my selfe associated with
The best reputed sort: great Princes have
Accepted of my wisht for company.
With most chiefe Statesmen I have beene familiar,
Vpon the Exchange not look't for, I have beene
By many wealthy Merchants oft saluted.
The fairest streets of the most famous Cities,
Are almost worne out with my often steps.
Nay, what place is there of more speciall note,
Where I (though not apparent seene of all,
I know you hate that foolish vanity)
Have not beene for the most part, resident?
But I hereafter, that your faithfull eye
Nearer at home, here in your sight intend
To shew my selfe, and my deserts approve
To your sure comfort, and my friends sound love.
Enter Topicus with a Cup in his hand.
Fal.
Where's your Napkin Topicus?
Top.
I have forgot it.
Fal.
Fie, had you no odde place to put you in minde,
Goe quickly and fetch one.
Exit Topicus.
Fal. receiveth the Cup, puts in poyson: Discour. drinkes, Topicus returnes.
Disc.
Let me embrace thee Fallacy, let me kisse thee my
dearest sonne, the prop of my age, the sole heire of my love:
My eares shall bee shut up hereafter to any complaints
brought against thee; I will take it as against my selfe; if
any henceforth accuse thee, I wil fight with him, I will beate
and baffle him; I will runne upon him, spit upon him.
Fal.
How lik'st thou this Ambiguity? is not his Style
chang'd since?
Amb.
Yes me thinks; before he spake in Verse, now hee
scannes not his words.
Fal.
Oh thou shalt heare him talke out of all measure.
Disc.
I will now goe walke into the Garden of the Muses,
and gather the choisest flowers that grow about Helicon, to
make a Garland for thy temples. I'le make the skilfull Rhetoricians
to empty all their shops of the freshest colours to
paint thy cheeks withall. Then the Grammarians I'le cause
to shape fit and well-fashioned garments for thee of the purest
Silke that ever was fram'd of true-woven words: Come go
with me, come goe with me.
Exeunt Disc. Fal.
Manent Top. Amb.
SCENA TERTIA.
Top.Now what strange passion hath befalne my father!
I wonder that he did so fawne upon
Proceeded from a Fathers tender love.
But he look't gastly, and his colour chang'd,
And seem'd to grow forgetfull what he did;
I pray this humour hold not.
Enter Demonstrat. and Intellect.
Top.
How now Brother?
Met you your Father?
Demon.
Not I; is he gone?
He bid me call up young Lord Intellect.
Intel.
Marry beshrew you, I could wish you had let me alone;
you awak't me out of a most sweet sleepe.
Demon.
What is the matter?
Top.
Nay I sweare I know not;
But I doe feare all is not well with him.
Demon.
Not well, and stand we talking?
Top.
I protest I am amaz'd.
Demon.
Come let us seeke him out.
Exeunt Demonst. and Topic.
Amb.
Young Lord you were best to stay; they goe to seeke
one whom they know not where to finde. Now I hope to
make my Master doate as much on me, as his mad father doth
on him, if I can convey away this purchase.
Int.
But when will Lord Discourse come? I desire to learne
somewhat this morning.
Amb.
My yong Lord, if you will goe with me, I will lead
you to such a Library, as all Hermenia yeelds not the like
againe.
Intel.
But are there any Bookes for my use?
Amb.
Of all sorts.
Int.
Any Logick or Philosophy?
Amb.
The best Logick, Rhetorick, & Philosophy that can be.
Int.
Whose I prethee?
Amb.
Why you shall finde there Piscators Logick, Butlers
Rhetorick.
Int.
Indeed, Fæcundi calices quem non fecere disertum?
O sir, the onely Rhetorick in price;
You shall have too Magirus Physicks.
Intel.
What Kitchin-Physick?
Amb.
Bakers Arithmetick.
Intel.
That will teach me to tell Thirteene to the dozen:
what, you thinke I will prove Helluo librorum? Well, I wil
goe with you for once.
Amb.
And stay with me I hope, longer than you are willing.
Exeunt.
SCENA QVARTA.
Enter Invention and Judicium.Invent.
Bvt is it certaine which Report affirmes?
Young Topicus and Demonstration,
So shortly shall be married? Speake Judicium,
What doe you heare?
Iudic.
I am for truth assur'd
E're night their Nuptials will be finished:
This Morning from Verona come the Ladies,
Whose presence onely is attended here.
And now the love, Invention, which you beare
To Topicus, may best conceive my joy,
For Demonstrations equall happinesse.
Invent.
My joy and love esteemed by your owne
You well approve, and make me confident
Upon your judgment in a lesser thing:
My working thoughts to celebrate this day,
Have here brought forth a rude impollisht Rime
Where-with I dare trust your friendly censure.
Iudic.
You may be bold, on me, who cannot blame
What ever quick Invention hath compos'd.
Invent.
Nay, flattery becomes you not; 'tis this.
He delivers him a paper.
Judic.
What is't an Epigram?
I have mistaken.
Iudic.
Nay Sir, by your favour, I will presume upon your
courtesie to read it.
Amico.
Our Civill Law doth seeme a royall thing,It hath more Titles than the Spanish King:
But yet the Common Law quite puts it downe,
In getting, like the Pope, so many a Crowne.
Invent.
Nay, now I pray conceale not what you thinke.
Iudic.
You know Judicium ought to be conform'd
To Lawes, and not to speake his minde of them.
Invent.
I aske your censure of my Epigram,
Not of the Lawes.
Iudic.
I thinke that it were fit
It had a glosse to shew your meaning, what
You understand by Titles, and by Crownes;
Those words are doubtfull: but Sir shall I see
The other?
Jnven.
Stay, her's Fallacy.
SCENA QVINTA.
Enter Fallacy.Fall.
These are the Dragons that so duely keepe
The golden fruit which I so long to crop:
Oh that I could inchant them! well, Ile trie:
Say, faithfull followers of young Intellect,
Is your deare Lord come by? or where's he gone?
Iudic.
How? our deare Lord come by; or where's he gone?
What meanes Lord Fallacy? did not great Discourse
Send for him by your Brother?
Inven.
We hither came, thinking to finde him here.
Fall.
I know not that, but this I doe assure you,
He is departed from the Court, and fled:
Thus much my love hath made me let you know.
Judic.
'Twere needlesse now for us to aske the cause,
Let's thinke upon some meanes to finde him out.
Invent.
Can you advise us Fallacy?
Fal.
Not I;
You better both can finde and judge what's fit.
Iudic.
I am amaz'd.
Invent.
And so I sweare am I.
Fal.
Well, if my counsell may doe any good,
I wish that both of you pursue him straight;
You towards Rhemes, Invention, and you
Iudicium to Verona, nor returne
Till you have found him: you may better seeke
In any place than here, where oh alas,
Discourse distracted is enough to affright
Farre stronger wits.
Invent.
Discourse distracted? how?
Fal.
O pardon me, I know not.
Iudic.
Come, let's goe,
You vexe him with your fruitlesse Questions.
Exeunt.
Fal.
Well may you speed, I would goe on your way,
But that my piety here bids me stay:
What are you gone? ne're may you meete againe,
Or meeting, ne're returne. I cannot like
Such curious fellows in strange. Common-wealths.
And now for yong Lord Intellect, my hope
Stands resolute of quickly taking him,
I may goe prosecute my chiefe designes.
Exit.
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