 | The Sophister |  |
Actus secundus
Scena prima.
Enter Distinction with papers in his hand.Dist.
I would the number of things in the world had been
lesse, or the names more, I might not have beene
thus troubled. There is nothing spoken or written but is subject
to so many interpretations, that without Distinction, giveth
occasion of an hundred evasions. An Obligation cannot
be made for tenne Groats, but the Attourney will have
halfe a Crowne for Parchment: no lesse will hold the Addition
of the parties names, of younger and elder, Butcher and
Tanner of Witam and Wolvercoate; that if the unskilfull
Painter was faine to write under his well resembled Pictures,
this is a Dogge, this is an Hare, I had need to come
after and tell what Dogge, what Hare he meaneth. But yesterday
an Herauld was with me, who as I lov'd to save
blood-shed, intreated me to helpe him to pacifie two incensed
Citizens, who since the yeare 1610, when all Artificers
and Tradesmen became Gentlemen, fortuned to light both
upon the same Coate-armour, and now were ready to fight,
who should have it most proper, if I lent him not some difference
to put betwixt them: I asking what the Coate was,
he told me a Bulls head, whereupon I advised him to call
his, that was the yonger, an Oxe-head, and make the hornes
a little longer; and I hope by this they are contented. And
indeed I cannot wonder that so often many things have but
one name, when sometimes one thing engrosseth many
names, like the Spanish Nobility, which require whole
sheets for a Superscription. You may enquire for a Broker,
meete with a Bawd, and fall into the hands of an Vsurer,
yet all but one Citizen. You may there see a Scholler troubled
with the Rheume, a Gentleman ill at ease, a Servingman
starke drunke, all sicke of one disease; I would some
nullity of some by the plurality of others; or some
good Cyrus would adventure a jerking, by taking
away from short things those Titles which are too long
for them, and giving to those who are too short,
and so fit them both. If Division would come once,
I would speake to him my selfe, to make a more equall
distribution; and I wonder hee staies so long;
but now heere hee comes with the rest.
Enter Definition, Division, Opposition, Description.
Defi.
Come, come, my Lord, it is time we were about
this businesse.
Divis.
Good my Lord Difinition, you must pardon me,
you know I am troubled with two shrewd impediments, Age
and weakenesse; and besides Dichotomy hath let mee
bloud, and charged me I should neither use Horse
nor Coach, but trust to mine owne two legges; nay hee
will scarce permit me a staffe to leane upon.
Descr.
My Lord Division, it were best that you sate downe
if you are weary.
Defi.
Distinction have you brought the rolles? they bee
the Records which preserve things done from swallowing
up in oblivion.
Dist.
If you meane the rolles you bid me, I have; if any
other, I have not.
Defi.
Description give mee my Spectacles, not without
good cause hath our Soveraigne sent unto us to draw out
for him the pedigree, which is a true lineall discent
of all the chiefest inhabitants within these provinces,
and view their ancient possessions, which are
the Dominions and Lands, conveighed them by
is happened in all other Countries, that the dignity and
jurisdiction depart from the noblest houses, which are
families retaining in many generations, the impression
of some heroicall vertue, and passe to upstarts, who
are such as Fortune, not Desert hath made gratious.
Opp.
Nay feare not that; while Opposition lives, there shall
be alwaies some to resist that confusion.
Divis.
With which Province will you beginne, with
Substance, or with Quantity?
Defi.
Best I thinke with Substance, right, and here is
the rolle: The first Duke that reigned here, and gave his
name to the Country was Substance; I cannot well say what
he was, his antiquity was so great.
Divis.
Hee was the eldest sonne of Ens, was he not
Opposition?
Opp.
No, he was his eldest child, the rest were
Daughters.
Descr.
It should seeme so, for accidents are of a feminine
nature, they cannot exist alone by themselves.
Divis.
Well, howsoever this Realme was equally divided
amongst them; I have heard, Phythagoras was employed in
assigneing them their portions.
Opp.
It is not so, it was his Scholler Archetas Tarentinus,
he measured out the Provinces by his Geometry.
Defi.
Hence we may gather of what antiquity this Kingdome
was, it is sure as ancient as the Romane Empire,
for Architas and Numa were Schoole-fellowes.
Opp.
Fye no, Pythagoras liv'd long before him.
Defi.
This Country was then called Decaphylia, till afterward
subdued by Mercury, was by him called Hermenia.
Divis.
Well, howsoever let us proceed: Substance matching
with the Lady Corporea, had by her a sonne called
Corpus.
My Lord, there were two Dukes of that name, one
in the Province of Substance, another in the Province of
Quantity.
Defi.
But we meane him of Substance.
Descr.
Good Lord, what odds there is betwixt the men
that were in those dayes, and the men that are now in this
latter declining Age of the World. This Duke Substance was
a monstrous, tall, huge, bigge man; hee had a head greater
than any Horse, a necke like a Bull, larger sides than the
Westerne Hogge; Leggs like Winde-mill posts, and feete
proportionable: His sonne Corpus was very like unto him;
the Aldermen of the Corporation, that are scarse able to come
in at our College-gates, might have shewne tricks like
Tumblers in a hoope, through his Thumb-ring; King Arthurs
tallest Knight would have scarse trust his points. The
Bull-hide, that cut out in Thongs, compast as much ground
as the walls of Carthage, could not make him a Girdle.
Dist.
I wonder how any man had so much leasure as to
looke about him, and draw his description.
Descr.
O sir ex pede Herculem.
Defi.
Him succeeded Corpus, surnamed Animatum; him
Animal, who was named Rationale, and begat Homo.
Divis.
He had two wives, the other was Irrationale.
Dist.
Sure that Irrationale had many Husbands, I have
knowne her married to above Twenty my selfe.
Opp.
Why? had not all the rest so? Substance, Corpus,
and Corpus animatum, my sonne Privation, if he were here,
could tell their names.
Defi.
Where is he?
Opp.
He hath laine a long time bed-ridden, deafe, blind,
and dumbe.
Defi.
I am sorry for him.
Divis.
Who are next Definition?
Defi.
Homo begat Socrates, Plato, and the rest.
Divi.
Now thou seest Description, Nature gives with two
qualities of the minde; so to these men she hath now given
more understanding than unto Substance, Corpus, and those
in former time.
Desc.
But may it not be doubted, whether Socrates and
Plato were of this Countrey; I could never heare that they
had much to doe with Substance.
Dist.
'Tis true, if you meane Substance as the Vulgar doe,
for wealth: But if you understand it as we doe, the Province,
questionlesse they had.
Opp.
I say they had not, and can prove it: They were Philosophers,
were they not?
Dist.
Yes.
Oppo.
And Philosophers have no place here.
Dist.
And why not Sir?
Oppo.
Because ignorant fellows have not, it holds from
contraries.
Dist.
So it pleaseth you to conclude Sir; but how prove
you that Sir?
Oppo.
They are Transcendents over all the Provinces, and
therefore cannot rightly be said to be in any.
Descr.
Indeede they say, Homer had seven Cities strove
for his Birth, but none ever gave him place of abiding: but
I thought Philosophers had more certaine abode than a wandring
Poet.
Oppo.
They are in Substance, for they love to stand by
themselves, and depend on none: They are in Quantity, for
ignorant men are in number many, in magnitude monstrous.
Des.
I think least of all in Quantity, for they are rather
in number infinite; and I cannot tell whether they have
Longitude and Latitude, I am sure they have no profoundnesse.
Dist.
Profoundnesse either may be taken for deepnesse of
judgement and understanding, and that they are farre from,
or for thick grosnesse, and that in them is most palpable.
They are in Quality: for who so fat, faire, strong,
and lusty as they? out of Relation they cannot bee: You
have ignorant Rulers, ignorant Subjects, ignorant Tutors,
and ignorant Schollers: who more in Action? who more
passionate in all places, at all times? who use more gestures?
Who better apparrelled?
Defi.
For the particulars, you Description, take this our Licence,
by which we doe authorize you to goe through the
Countrey, and take notice of the names and Differences
of them all: For us it is sufficient to set downe these things
in generall.
Desc.
Belike Sir, you meane I shall not dye in idlenesse?
Div.
Shall we proceede to some other Province?
Exit.
Defi.
I must first have the assistance of Lord Demonstration;
I can doe nothing without him.
Oppo.
Why send you not Distinction for him?
Goe tell him we expect his comming; intreate him to make
haste.
Enter Proposition.
Prop.
Now my Lords, as you love your selves, or respect
the State, imploy your carefull providence with all expedition.
Defi.
Why? what is the matter? good Proposition
speake.
Prop.
Oh, I shall speake too soone: Our Lord Discourse
is falne starke madde.
Divi.
Falne mad? Oh fatall calamity!
Defi.
What shall we doe?
Prop.
Nay, worse than this.
Oppo.
Worse cannot bee.
Prop.
Demonstration, Topicus, and Fallacy, are not in contention
who must governe.
How comes Fallacy neare him, lately he could no
endure him?
Propo.
I know not how: but now he seemes exceedingly
to affect him.
Defi.
Have they no more care of their Father? this is too
bad; 'twere good for to take some order with them presently.
Div.
Let us goe visite him, hereafter we will goe finish these
businesses.
Exeunt.
SCENA SECVNDA.
Enter Ambiguity.Amb.
He is not here: 'tis common to say, Hee is a
true man that never deceiveth his Master: and
I thinke it may properly be said, He is a rare Master that never
deceiveth his man. This is not the first time my Master
Fallacy hath sent me on such idle errands: He is right like
the fellow that when hee had nothing to steale, filled his
Pockets with Rushes: rather than he will deceive no body,
he will deceive me. But let him take heede he play not
like the madde fellow Aiax, who when he had left nothing
else to kill, slew himself: and when he can no longer
cozen others, he'le cozen himselfe: His golden Letters,
written with an Angels quill, will doe him no good: But
here I thinke he comes; no, it is Distinction: This Villaine
I can no more endure than Demosthenes could Phocion: he
is the fatall Axe of all my Policies, the Atropos of all my
subtle Devices.
Enter Distinction.
Diston.
My Lords, what are they gone? it had beene folly
for them to stay for Demostration.
He must not be of our Councell, if Opposition
should chance to come.
Dist.
There was adoe indeede: Old Discourse talking
nothing but of Quadratures, of Circles, of Lines running
nearer and nearer, but never comming together: of
Hexities, Ideas, Quintessences, Sublimations, Corporall Ubiquities,
infinite Quantities, Consubstantiations, Transubstantiations;
things beside impossible: I wonder what he
meanes; surely he is besides himselfe.
Amb.
Well, I must adventure on him, delay may prove
dangerous. How now Distinction, what newes is stirring?
Distinct.
Oh Sir, I see that stirring head of yours is
weary of our better state: you listen to heare of some new
change?
These words he speakes aside to himselfe.
Amb.
What are there windowes in my breast? this fellow
knowes my heart.
Dist.
No, you are Ambiguity.
Amb.
You may mistake me.
Distinct.
Yes, If I take thee for any other than thou
art.
Ambig.
What's that Sir?
Distinct.
An honest man.
Ambig.
Indeede you say true, hee doth mistake me that
thinkes me other than an honest man.
Distinct.
But you say false: I say hee doth mistake
that takes thee for an honest man, otherwise than thou
art.
Ambig.
Why Distinction? 'tis not you can finde fault with
my honesty.
Dist.
No, Ile be sworne.
Ambig.
Why say you so then?
Dist.
Because I can finde no honesty with thy faults.
Come, come Distinction, if I have beene faulty,
you know no man is borne without faults.
Distinct.
Yes, and I thinke there are few faults borne
without thee.
Ambig.
Come prethee, thou art alwaies disposed to
crosse me, but I will not fall out with thee for a Kingdome.
Distin.
You would for a lesser matter, if feare did not
hold your hands.
Ambig.
Sir you shall know my hands be free.
Distine.
Why, you will not draw Sir?
Ambig.
Yes, I will Sir.
Distinc.
What, not your Sword?
Ambig.
No, good Distinction, I love thee too well;
Ile draw my Purse, with all my heart, to doe
thee good.
Dist.
I thanke you good Amphoteros: but I feare you have
two Purses, as hee had two Chests; one full of money, the other
of thankes.
Ambig.
That I have, my deare Oudeteros, and if thou
wilt goe with me, I will draw them both; the one to
pay for the wine we will drinke, the other to thanke thee for
thy Company.
Distinc.
Well, Ile goe with thee.
Exeunt.
SCENA TERTIA.
Enter Opposition.Oppo.
I cannot conjecture wherefore Fallacy is so desirous
to speake with me, he requested I would meete
him here sometime before wee sate, and yet he is not come.
Now I doe wonder I was so much moved at his carriage in
this businesse, I beginne to pitty his poore fortune: Alas,
that he was base borne; but what of his base birth? Hercules
seemes to have more wit than both his Brothers, and although
that be counted such a blot, yet who can condemne
him? it was no fault of his; but what if there hath gone a
bad report of him? why hee may mend in time. Was not
Themistocles a dissolute yong fellow, yet who proved a
braver Souldier? Oh 'tis Magistracy shews the man; what
hopes? what encouragements hath hee ever had? still kept
under and disgraced; neither is his Title altogether naught:
and now a dayes 'tis a small right a man would forgoe for
want of standing to it; I cannot blame him and a little thing
more would make me favour him.
Enter Ambiguity laughing in Distinctions coate.
Ambi.
O wonderfull operation, two or three drops of this
Wine fuming into his head, turned his braines like the
fannes of a Winde-mill, and then his tongue like a clacke
began to talke on both sides; everything was taken dupliciter;
he talkt pure Scot, and Thomas Occham and Caietan
might have learnt some new Schoole-learning from him: but
this storme held not long, e're a still calme followed this violent
tempest; and he fell fast asleepe, and I thinke I was
not long uncasing the Foxe; he was so ready but now to give
a double interpretation of every word I spake, and I thinke
(to be quitts with him) I shall make more than a single use
of this Cloake: first by this shift I have left him to pay for
the Wine, then by this disguise I may unsuspected come to
deliver my Masters Letter at the Bench, if Opposition come
not before: But I thinke mine eyes are dazeled; he is here,
and I saw him not.
Oppo.
And I saw you, but I knew you not.
Amb.
My Master Fallacy by me kindly greets you Sir, and
would have met you here himselfe, but was detained with
extraordinary businesse, and desirous more closely to impart
same.
He delivers the Letters.
I doubt not but 'twall doe; oh there is great hope: some
thinke the mediation of Angels may helpe in Heaven; I am
sure Angels are the best intercessors in Earth: when they become
Oratours, there is no doubt of propitious audience.
There is no reading to the golden Legends: This Chrysostomes
Style is most perswasive. Hath he done since? I think
if it had beene longer, it would not have seemed tedious.
Oppo.
You may tell your Master from me, I have perused
his Letters, know his minde, and will give him my best
assistance; bid him be confident.
Amb.
I will Sir.
Exit.
Oppo.
Well that's all; I never did hate this Fallacy, and
of late I saw matter deserving pity in him; but now I see hee
loves me, he is willing to relye upon me, he dares so farre
trust me, he doth promise to advance me, I cannot chuse
but love him, I must needs helpe him, I will doe my best
to honour him: well, here they come.
SCENA QVARTA.
Enter Definition, Division, Demonstration, Fallacy, Topicus, Proposition.Defi.
Good
Reduction charge Conclusion to keepe him
fast, and if he chance to breake from him, doe
you assist him. Come yong Lords, I would I could perswade
you altogether to desist from these troublesome contentions;
but if that may not be, this is a fitter place than your sicke
and distemper'd Fathers house; let us heare what you would
have, what you can plead for your selves.
Then why doe not some dimme & purblind Stars,
Corrivals with the thrice most glorious Sunne,
Sue at the Throne of Heavens Majesty
To rule the Day? 'twere lesse presumption
Than this of these competitors of mine:
For were not I by my Nobility,
And most apparant births prerogative,
In all mens sight, to be preferr'd, before
This Topicus, and bastard Fallacy:
Yet were my worth, great worth, beyond compare,
To prove my claime just, all-sufficient.
I from the State long since have banished
Grosse ignorance, and that her cursed spawne,
Vild superstitious Admiration,
The Tyrant of the vulgar simple minds:
I the chiefe Shewer to my Lord Discourse,
All the most strange and wonderfull effects
Of closer working Nature have set forth,
The hidden cause lockt from common eyes
In deepe, scarce-searchable Obscurity,
I opened wide to his illustrious view.
I the renowned Champion of Truth,
Have her defended 'gainst her proudest foes,
And many combats for her honour fought,
Never returning conquerd from the field,
And therefore now to any scorne to yeeld.
Defi.
You may speake Topicus.
Top.
If any words of mine may find attention,
In your not yet fully possessed eares,
Nor shall it seeme presumption to you
Judicious Lords, which seemes so palpable
To prejudicious Demonstration,
That I my title dare maintaine with him;
Your reverent wisdomes are not ignorant
That though he hath beene honour'd more of late,
For birth-right claimeth ought, 'tis due to me:
Nor to his high priz'd worth inferiour,
Are my deserts not undervalued?
If he his foe in close and narrow lists
Have, as he bravely vaunts, encountered,
And that not often, for none-profiting
Onely, selfe-pleasing, Contemplation,
The single combats oftner fought by me
In just defence of your empaired rights,
Are no lesse famous, no lesse knowne to you:
Besides, I alwaies in the Champion field
Of Rhetoricke well leavied forces led,
Chiefe Muster-master to the Soveraigne Leige,
Our high Commander and chiefe Generall,
Under Truths colours many skirmishes
I have endur'd, won many Victories:
Then let me for the King, for truth, for you,
In all your causes never wont to faile,
For mine owne selfe in this mine owne prevaile.
Opp.
If you have done, let's heare yong Lord Fallacy.
Fall.
If that my vowes, or teares, my gracious Lords
Conjoin'd with yours, could move the angry Heavens,
This doubtfull question should not trouble you:
Thou should'st great King enjoy thy right, and we—
Opp.
(Oh admirable piety!)
Fall.
Would rest as happy still enjoying thee:
But since that fate, (O hard and cruell fate)
Denies him his right mind, denies us him,
Envies us all this great felicity,
Who may more hope his regency t'attaine,
Than he in whom his vertues most remaine
Nor let it any thing impeach my right,
That unadvised Demonstration
Objects to me, base birth, who doth not see
If ought he from his Mothers right doth claime,
Let him enjoy it, ile him not deceive.
But if he at his Fathers rule doth aime,
He was my Father too, and by his leave,
Although I chanc't not to have with him one mother
On the best side, I am his elder brother.
Nor are my vertues meaner than my birth,
Witnesse those many difficult attempts,
Which quite impossible for any else
To hope t'achieve, with expedition,
And not without successe, I have perform'd.
Witnesse that most rare service to this Realme,
Which I with diligence have executed.
Discourse his chiefe controwler in the state,
Truths sole soliciter, common Atturney
In all the causes which concerne the Land:
And all this, though by farre exceeding all,
Which my Competitors can promise you,
If to my first deserts you give due meed,
With future industry I vow to exceed.
If they which most they can, (and who can lesse?
Shall scarce defend, scarce defence asking right,
I will your weakest causes fortefie,
And make appeare most strong in most mens sight.
Who hates us, shall not thinke us overthrowne;
Who favours us, shall sweare the right our owne.
Now all this that I might effect for you,
Let me receive at your hands what's my due.
Divi.
My Lord speake what you thinke.
Defin.
Did you as true Piety (which is a reverent and
gratefull respect of your Parents) commands you, strive
who should have the greatest part in lamenting this his Extasie,
(which is a Distraction of his braines, or a privation
of those gifts of understanding, which of late hee happily
testimony of a vertuous action) but seeing you carried
by Ambition, (that violent passion, which desireth nothing
but honour) into these Civill Divisions: (which are Dissentions,
disquieting your friends, and delightfull to your
enemies) To say no more, I can commend none of you.
But because Iustice (which is a perpetuall and constant will
to give to every man his due) doth warrant me to define
this present controversie, if you will stand to my
Judgement, (which is the censure I shall give) Demonstration,
the noblest sonne of Discourse, by the Lady Necessity,
(who concludes all things which he undertakes so truely,
so immediatly, so surely) shall succeede in his fathers dignity:
(which is his kingdome and place in this realme) what
thinkes Division?
Divis.
These three that sue for Discourse his dignity, are
either true borne sonnes, or base borne: the true borne
plead either in right of birth, or of desert; their birth they
either commend from Priority, or Nobility; their deserts
either they set out from their greatnesse, or from their goodnesse.
Now because base borne sonnes never inherit, I think
Fallacy hath no right at all. Againe, because Primo-geniture
hath beene alwaies preferred before great birth, and often
good workes serving for use and action, are better than seldome
great effects, which tend to nothing but to Admiration
and Contemplation: I Judge Topicus, Discourse his
eldest sonne, by meaner Parentaged Probability, in that,
in all matters, at all times, wee shall have use of him to bee
chosen before Demonstration, second sonne, though begotten
on nobler descended Necessity, of whose vertue we have so
seldome experience.
Oppo.
If you have spoken, you may give me leave: I therefore
thinke neither Demonstration fit, nor Topicus worthy,
and therefore chuse Fallacy.
Defin.
Why so?
Aske not my reason, I stand for him or none.
Fall.
He is base borne, and base birth, is a vile condition,
which to them that are unlawfully hegotten doth purchase
infamy, and bereaves them of all hope of succession.
Opp.
Now I thinke him as true borne as the best; for Demonstration,
I alwaies suspected him to be thy sonne, because
he was so like thee; but now I am perswaded so, seeing thee
to stand so mainely for him.
Divis.
Nay good Opposition, either speake more advisedly,
or hold your peace.
Opp.
What I have spoken I will stand to it; I will maintaine
it.
Defi.
We must beare with you, 'tis your nature to bee
crossing us perpetually.
Divis.
Then Proposition it is you must end this controversie,
pray speake quickly, 'tis your voice must doe it.
Prop.
If that three Dukedomes, all of equall worth,
To these three, all thrice-worthy, noble Lords
Should by our sentence be distributed,
I quickly would decide all doubt; but now
All having equall interest in my love,
All equally deserving in mine eies,
I sweare I know not whom I should preferre
Before the rest, lest I should doe the rest
More injury than right to him: therefore
Let me intreate you take some other course,
For the determining of this weighty strife.
Defi.
Wel then yong Lords, you must needs rest a while contented,
till we can find some other meanes to compose these
differences, wherein we will use the speediest meanes we
can invent.
Fallacy takes Opposition aside, and whispers him in the eare to send Contradiction.
Exeunt.
Fall.
You see deare Brothers how this subtile States,
That keeping us from dignities, they may
Themselves be this Realmesonely Governours:
I therefore loving you, and this our State,
Hating such Machivillian Policy
Sit downe unto you, as you can agree,
Let either of you rule the State for me.
Exit.
Demon.
And 'twould no lesse befit you Topicus
To know your selfe, and learne of Fallacy
To yeeld unto your betters.
Topi.
You say true:
To know my selfe I well may learne of him,
For you are ignorant, and know me not;
Else I perswade my selfe, as he to both,
You would give place to me.
Demo.
I doe confesse
I know thee not, for Demonstration
Lookes not so low, with his inquiring eye,
In greater matters onely busied.
Topi.
Oh somewhat 'twas you ne're could know your selfe,
Your higher gazing thoughts could ne're descend
To so vild abject a basenesse.
Enter Contradiction.
Contra.
Now brave spirits,
Why suffer you our State unmanaged,
Your selves dishonoured? You are slouthfull Lords.
Demon.
Brave spirit, and can I endure
To be cald base and abject?
Topicus.
Thou mistak'st,
Those words were onely spoken unto me,
Contra.
Now let your noble courage shew it selfe
If you neglect this so faire-offerd place,
You worthy are to live in dishonour.
Demon.
Rather as the Lightning shall my courage pierce
Through any Clouds, that likely are to obscure
My brighter glory.
Topic.
May the foulest mouthes
Of the base vulgar spit upon the face
Of my unspotted credit, if for want
Of courage I abandon these my hopes.
Contra.
Should I through mine owne fault be hindered
In such attempts, oh I should kill my selfe,
And on my selfe I would take just revenge.
Demon.
And shall my brother seeke to thrust me downe,
And I endure it? Oh the name of a King
Is better than the common vulgar name
Of Brother. Topicus, looke to thy selfe,
He that my right and honour shall deny,
If I doe live and breath, shall surely dye.
Topic.
Fond Demonstration, rather than I'le yeeld,
Appoint the place, I'le meete thee in the field.
Cont.
What fitter place than this? where be the weapons?
Fie, fie, how dare you goe soe unprovided?
Dem.
Goe fetch thy weapons, I will not be long.
Top.
But I shall thinke so till I meete with thee.
Exeunt.
SCENA QVINTA.
Enter Distinction in Ambiguities cloake.Dist.
I thinke that Villaine Ambiguity was borne to doe
me harme, I never was so overtaken by any as by
him: No sooner had I put the Cup to my lips, but my witts
shooke hands with my head, and left me to be arrested by
dull Sergeant Sleepe, so like a bankrupt Merchant, I was
faine to let downe my Shop-windows, and I thinke yet had
not opend them: but that which plagued me worse, up
comes a Drawer, and delivering me from that prison, was
like to have me waking to another, unlesse I would pay for the
Wine, which that Rascall had promised to bestow upon me,
which I had scarce done, when looking about me, I found
the Villaine which had left me witlesse and moneylesse, left
me also cloakelesse, till I saw where the forke-tongued
Snake had cast this his party-coloured skinne. Now I could
be angry with my selfe for my simplicity: but see the villaine
hath sent Ignoratio Elener the foole, his fellow, to laugh at
me; this would make Demotritus melancholy.
Enter Ignoratio Elener.
He pulls downe his Hat, and walkes aside.
Ignor.
What Ambiguity, are you studying? My Master
Fallacy bad me deliver you these Keyes, and would you
should locke up this Violl where you found it:
Remember now you had them: forsooth I may not be admitted
to his Closet, I am too honest; but if I be not deceiv'd,
this fellow is not so worthy to be trusted. Now beshrew his
heart, he is gone without part of my message: I should have
told hem, hee was to contrive some accusations against the
way, and I must follow.
Exit.
Enter Opposition, Contradiction, and Fallacy.
Fall.
But say, where are our Brothers? oh I long
To understand how well your love succeeds.
Cont.
Breathlesse and wounded both of them I left,
And ere my comming from them, they began
To faint with bleeding.
Fall.
Bled they very much?
Cont.
Exceedingly.
Well, so their streaming veines
Shall serve as Conduits dropping Clarret wine,
To sollemnize my Coronation:
And now I cannot but applaud my wits,
And hugg my happy Genius that hath thus
Inspight of selfe-conceited honesty,
Found forth this passage to my sweet desires.
Opp.
But shall your old friends escape so? will you not requite
their kindnesse?
Fall.
Let Definition and Division, both
Be banished the Court, for Proposition,
He ne're oppos'd himselfe against me much,
We may procure his love, and use his helpe;
And therefore let him stay. But you
Lord Opposition, willingly I make
My sole or chiefest Counsellor of State,
By whom in all affaires I will be rul'd.
You Contradiction, wheresoe're I goe,
Committing both my fortunes and my selfe.
Opp.
Ne're may we thrive in this new policy
If we maintaine not what we have begun.
Fall.
I doe beleeve you, and relye on you;
And therefore know, that not an houre since
I by a sly devised subtlety,
Have luckily surpriz'd the Lady Truth,
With her two famous Daughters; now in doubt
How I might best captive their constant thoughts,
I faine would heare your resolutions.
Opp.
Were it my care I would enforce them straight.
Con.
They should not eate, nor drinke, nor rest on minute;
Nay, I would torture, and torment them all,
Till they did yeeld submissely to my pleasure.
Fall.
I thinke such meanes at first too violent,
I'le try how glozing words, and kind intreaties
Can worke upon them: You know not the force
Of well convey'd dissimulation,
Therefore goe you, and through Parrhesia,
Proclaime my lawfull just succession.
Opp.
I will my noble Lord.
Fall.
And doe you heare?
To make my name more gracious, more belov'd,
I will no longer be call'd Fallacy:
Exit. Oppo.
Stile me great Sophime. You Contradiction,
Let Definition and Division know
What is our pleasure to be done with them.
Cont.
I ne're did any thing more willingly.
Exit.
Fall.
I my selfe,
My project will pursue immediately;
Mee thinkes my hopes assure me. Now damn'd slaves,
Disloyall and unfaithfull miscreants,
Thinke yee that I will trust your villanies?
No: these distemper'd, quarrelling, fighting fellowes
They will rip open one anothers breast,
And prostitute their hearts to vulgar view:
Therefore the next thing that I wil contrive,
Shall be their ruine: Dead dogges cannot bite:
That done, I feare not Fortunes envious spight.
Exit.
| The Sophister | |