University of Virginia Library

Actus tertius.

Enter Erotia and Cunicula.
Er.
Cunicula.

Cu.
My Patroness.

Er.
When jumbled you last Cunicula?

Cu.
Not since the Ides of March.

Er.
A Roman was it not?

Cu.
Yes, Patroness.

Er.
I thought so by the language he has left thee.
Let me see, how many practisings have you had now?

Cu.
Some half a score.

Er.
Well said, thou scor'st um up:
Just of thy years did I begin this trade:
Ah, what discourse my beauty bred ith' streets!
One said I was handsom, t'other proper, witty a third:
Then the fine Broaths I daily had sent to me,
Potato-pasties, and lusty marrow-pies:
And then ith' morning Pickled Oisters brought
To give my Muscadel and Eggs a relish:
Then my presenters arm'd with Pistolets,
Would drop down showres of bounty on my lap:
And then, Ah, ah, when I was young
The novelty was such a thing, Ah, ah.
Now I am old, and custom has deceiv'd me.
Thou art still Cunicula full of juice and beauty,
Rejoyce and hug thy time, thou wilt be one day,
To my grief I speak it, like thy Patroness?
Knock.
One knocks, a Booty I hope, look out Cunicula.

Cu.
O Patroness, silk Cloaks and silver Lace,
A Coach-full on um.

Er.
In and prepare your self.
Some youngster I hope that has bought new cloaths,
And comes to saye um here, weel make a-fire,
Knock again
Which shall both air your suit, and melt your Gold:
Soon enough, soon enough, with what force
And eagerness they thrust in, but go out
Knock still
As tame as sheep. Why what's the matter there?
Will you knock down my doors you sawcy Jacks?

Pin.
Erotia, sweet Erotia let us in.

Within.
Er.
Let ye in, who are ye, I am no such woman,
Would you should know it I.

Pin.
'Tis Pinnario.

Enter Pin. Pro Val.
Er.
My Benefactor, you must not be denide.

Pin.
Why how now Souce, what shut the door upon us?
Have you not learn'd my call nor knock yet?

Er.
Sweet Sir,
I must adhere, I know your knock within,
Though, without, my age has dull'd my ears too much.

Pin.
Well, for my satisfaction salute these Gallants.

They kiss
Er.
Sir, as I take it, I have kist those lips before,
And yet me thinks I have forgotten where.

Pro.
Familiar friends already: I knew when once
I had defide my Boots, red Cloak and Sword:
I should be ador'd. I feel my back a breaking.

Er.
Nor have I lost your memory delightfull Sir.

Val.
No, if thou hadst, thou hadst lost the sweetest pleasure
Ere slept with thee tough Bombast.

Er.
Ah, dee remember,
Just this time four year, I, 'tis thereabouts,
The Catches we two sung in the back Room,
And how you laugh'd at me, when I said, you had forgot
To hold your Minnum-prick out. Ah you are a wagg.

Pin.
But heark thee Souce, where's my preferr'd Damsell:
I have brought these Gallants here to see her (Bombast)
And to applaud my choice and care of her.

Er.
So, so, youl never leave this open dealing:
Enter Cun.
Why Cu? why Cuni? why Cunicula?
Thou insatiate Fawn, why dost thou stay so long?

Pin.
Morrow Fondling, morrow sweet young Fondling:
Well, be a good wench, and let Souce indue thee;
Thou hast found a Patron will not let thee sink.

Cu.
But dive a little into your Comrades pockets.

Aside.
Pro.
Sweet Nightingale your Servant, then your Lips.

Salutes her.
Val.
That liberty must none of us be barr'd of.

Pro.
Heart, a brave Lass, what a chop she has given my Lips,
And made their anguish fire my heart with love?

Pin.
What think you Blades, how do you like my choice?

Pro.
Prithee stand out oth' light man, Cuni, Kether,
I would I were your Hays, Ide hamper yee;
If I have a face to speak to this old stew'd meat
I am a snow-ball, and that I am far from at this time.
Ile see the Tar-box: Beautifull Erotia.

Cunicula picks Procus his pockets.
Pin.
Smitten, smitten, on my honour, see they are at it

Val.
Why what an impudence my Cloak has lent him.

Pro.
Hah, let me see t'other pocket:
Vanisht, all vanisht, at such a time too.
Nay, if money be loft to buy virginity,
The devil and charity fly with't.

Er.
Nay Sir,
Your golden Coin and my Patient is yours?

Pro.
Mischief, a little patience, and thou shalt hav't.

Pin.
How now Cock-master? what cow'd already?

Pro.
Yes faith, and bow'd too. Dost hear Valerio?
Thou must needs contribute four or five pieces more.

Val.
How?

Pro.
Nay, prithee be not angry, faith thou must.

Val.
Why your gilt shillings?

Pro.
Lost, Valerio, lost.

Val.
Nay, lose the cause, and lose the effect for me.

Pro.
Logick at wenching disputations, absurd.
Pinnario, thou hast a noble bounteous nature.
Faith, I have prevail'd to hug thy fondling there,
And onely want some customary duties.

Pin.
Away thou Truant, out with thy cozening Doits.

Pro.
Las, they are all perisht.

Pin.
Perisht, how, which way?

Pro.
Shall I tell thee this Valerio's a Quacksalver,
Hang him out side, there's nought but dregs within.

Pin.
Why, what's the matter?

Pro.
Has mixt some hungry poyson
With's deceitfull Gold, and it has eat through our pockets.

Pin.
How? let me see; why, th'art deceiv'd mad Procus,
Look you, he's mine still. Thou wilt not Cheater?

Procus snatches Pinnario's money.
Pro.
By this Gold but I will. Here, here, Erotia, here

Er.
Here's but three Sir, my bargain was for six.

Pro.
Pox on my clutches could not scrabble all.

Knocks.
Pin.
Heark Souce, one knocks there I think.

En.
Within there.

Er.
What intruders that?

En.
Ide speak with the Lady.

Er.
Here's none so worshipfull.

En.
With the Governess.

Cu.
Govern your tongue, Ile wash your manners else.

Pin.
Well said, Cuni.

Pro.
Nay, prithee hear me Cuni.

Cu.
No, not a syllable without the other three.

Er.
'Tis Aurelia's Bobadil, her waiting Favourite.

Pin.
Who, Engin, let's admit him and be reveng'd.

Pro.
The Rogue that braund us in his Mistrisses Chamber.
Dost hear Valerio, a man without offence
To your plush Cloak, may try his skill a little.

Val.
And tire it too. What makes the Cerberus here?

Er.
What shall I say to him?

Val.
Let him in first.
Exit Erotia.
By that time weel invent his entertainment.

Pro.
Shall's drill his eys out?

Pin.
Or make an Eunuch of him.

Pro.
And swear we found him up to th' ears with Souce.

Enter Erotia with Engin.
Er.
Sir, this liberality commands my house,
What's here pray call your own.

En.
Defend me craft,
My enemies in rank against me. Then Philarchus
Some of your musty coin must buy um off.
Gives Erot. money.
Here, but remove these silken toys a while.

Om.
A Pander, a Pander, a Pander.

En.
Your meaning Gallants?

Draws
Val.
First your chastisement Sir, and weel obey you.

Pro.
Sirrah, you Janus with your double face,
That frowns on us, but smiles upon Aurelia,
We smell your cunning, Fox, and we will hunt you,
Till we have worried out your subtlety.

En.
Sir, the good news I bring deserves not this:
Have I stretcht out my ey-strings for your search,
Survey'd each street, each alley about the City,
To finde you and the brave Pinnario out,
And do you thus requite my diligence?

Pin.
Why, the fellow's made sure, what business hast with me?

En.
What shall I say? Now, now befriend me wits:
Aside.
Sir, the Actors in my business are more than my self,
And one that loves ye Sir.

Pro.
Aurelia may be.

En.
Happy instruction. Sir, your ear in private.

Engin whispers with Pinnario and Procus
Pin.
How?

En.
If I do lie, act on me what you threaten.

Pin.
But why must Procus be my companion?

En.
Why Sir,, Philarchus has done ill it seems,
All curses plague him for't, for but for you Sir
She'd die oth' longings.

Pin.
Why, why what's the matter man?

En.
The hoary Ram nere lay with her last night,
Onely lent her his Breeches to keep her warm,
And poor Heart what with expectation
And angry affliction, she's grown so fiery
That she's impossible to be quencht by one.
Heark you. There's work enough for you both
These six weeks, though you turn your bloud to marrow.

Pin.
Souce, come, I have given thee many a Pistol,
Lend me some Gold to reward this trusty Servant,
This faithfull honest fellow, or stay, Valerio
Prithee let's give him thy Cloak Procus has.

Pro.
How Sir, my Cloak?

Val.
But hear you Gentlemen, pray what's the news?

En.
Is this your friend Sir?

Pin.
I Engin, an honest Hector, shall he along too?

En.
Yes to his Grave when I can single him.
Aside.
Sir, with your pardon, I have news for you too,
And that will make your heart swell high with joy,
Ile but dispatch these first, and then attend you.

Pro.
How were we cozen'd in this honest Engin?
We thought thee our greatest Enemy alive.

En.
Who Sir, I? truth defend me, but stay a while,
I had forgot that, you must shift Gentlemen,
And put on womens cloaths, my Master else
(At whose name I tremble, he has so beaten me.)
Will be suspitious to your undoing:
Some old cast Gowns would secure all.

Pin.
But heark thee Engin, where shall we finde Aurelia?

En.
Why in her Closet:
Knock thus, you hear, sheel open presently.
Perhaps I may be there before you change,

Pro.
Here Engin, take my Cloak, I give it thee:
Now are my arms at liberty to hold up my Coats.

En.
Why is your appetite so slender Gallants?
Can you demur so long?

Pin.
Away, away. Engin thou art so faithfull.

Pro.
Buy, Valerio, buy.

Val.
Youl sup with me to night?

Pin.
We cannot promise.

Exeunt Pinnario & Procus.
En.
So, now for you Valerio. Erotia
I have some private business with this Monsieur
Pray expect us in another Room a while.

Er.
Libidinous thoughts be with you. Come Cunicula.

Exeunt Erotia & Cunicula.
Val.
Now Engin, what's for me to execute
About Aurelia, prithee let it be.

En.
I have no other business than hers, Sir.

Val.
What, she expects me some where privately?

En.
So, so, hee'l make the quarrel himself anon.
Aside
Sir, my fair Mistris, (so far have I prevail'd)—

Val.
She has sent thee to bring me to her? Hah!
I do conceive, but dost hear me Sirrah?
What, is she active and nimble in her dealing?

En.
How Sir?

Val.
Pish come, thou art so modest now:
Faith, when didst hug her last? I know thou hast don't:
Here's none but friends man.

En.
Yes, a deadly foe,
Strikes him.
And to raise courage in you first: take that.

Val.
Why, villain Engin?

En.
My Mistris a whore, draw and defend your self.

Val.
Art thou so treacherous?
Draws.
Thy blow base Groom has forfeited thy life.

Valerio falls.
En.
Your prophesie proves false Sir.

Enter Erotia.
Er.
Murder, murder.

En.
Whore, open but thy jaws agen, Ile split um,
Reply not, but hearken and obey me, if thou mutter'st
Ile carve thy skin into Escutcheons for his Hearse.

Er.
By all my fears, and all that's good I will not.

En.
Let this confirm you, which if you prosecute
Engin gives her more money.
With fortunate success shall still flow to you.

Er.
Why this is a fee to make us fire the City.

En.
If he be lost use all care for his concealment,
Then with your fair Disciple here, be sure
You meet me at Aurelia's house this night.

Er.
The hour.

En.
About six, I must not stay, farewell.

Exit
Val.
Oh.

Er.
Fetch some strong water, quick Cunicula,
There may be hope of life. How do you Sir?

Val.
Who's there? Erotia.

Er.
Yes.

Val.
Then I have dreamt.

Cu.
Here's the water Mistris.

He drinks
Er.
So, so, take comfort 'las how weak he is?
Fetch the back-water by my bed-side, Cuni,
That will make him spring agen, though his heart were dead.

Val.
Foil'd by a Villain, my unlucky fate.

Exeunt.
Enter Procus and Pinnario in womens Cloaths.
Pro.
Slight what a mincing gate these Coats have taught me?
These she-comrades must needs be nimble-thigh'd,
They practice it in walking so.

Pin.
What's here, the Sign oth' Breeches?

They spy the Breeches upon the pole standing at Aurelia's chamber-door.
Pro.
I conceive it
'Tis where Philarchus keeps his Centinel,
We must avoid that path, there's Hell at end on't.

Pin.
Engin most opportunely come, dost hear
Enter Engin.
Where, where's the Closet? but direct us, then
Let us alone to raise the Hare and hunt her.

En.
Yes, you shall hunt, and hang for hunting false.
Aside.
You speak too loud, what mean you Gentlemen?
A Lion rampant does inhabit there:
Behold the Ensign of his desperate wrath:
points to the Breeches
The least suspition of your presence here
Blows us to nothing.

Pro.
Why, is he then so valiant?

En.
A very Hercules, Ile tell you Sir,
One blow of his has so benumm'd this arm
I must despair of life in't for these two days,
But I shall do you wrong, Knock there and enter.

Exit.
Pro.
Now could I leap through the door, but for Philarchus

They knock at the Closet door.
Pin.
Open fair Danae these golden Gates
And shroud delight within thy pleasant arms.

Phi.
Thy Mars bright Venus does obey thy call.

Enter Phil.
Ambo.
Philarchus.

Phi.
Yes, Philarchus can speak Lines
Provok't by Lechery. A brace of Turtles!
This Engin exceeds thy duty, come ye Puttocks.

Pin.
Why Procus we are abus'd, a trick upon us.

Pro.
Speak lower, if the purblind Ass will needs
Take us for whores, and so beguile himself,
Let us not cross his humour.

Pin.
A match, be confident.

Phi.
These Harlots have such inticing delays.
I must defer no longer. Come kiss me both of ye.

Pro.
Pox o' your bristles, how they bore my Lips.

Phi.
Nay, now we have begun, no fumbling till we have ended.

Pin.
Nay, good Sir, youl disgrace your self with us.

Phi.
I, so you all say when you want a greasing.
I will endure no longer—

Pro.
But you must.

Phi.
Too loud, my wife will hear. I must ye Queans;
Get ye in to th' Closet, go.

Enter Aur. and Engin.
Pin.
Wee'l be no prisoners.

En.
Quench him now whilest he's hot, he'l hiss agen.

Au.
Ye Vagabonds, ye Harlots, out ye Strumpets.

Beats them.
Phi.
My wife Aurelia, O my endless shame!

En.
Good Sir bear up, would I could help you Sir.

Au.
A Constable, fetch me a Constable:
Ile have these Queans whipt round about the Town.

Pin.
Why—

Aside to the Gentlemen.
En.
For your own credits discover not your selves
Should my Master see your breeches hee'd run mad.

Au.
Fetch me a Constable, I say, why go'st not?
Exit Engin.
Sirrah for your part Ile have your boisterous—

Phi.
Stomach or any thing pull'd down, dreadfull wife,
I do confess and humbly ask thy pardon.

Enter Engin.
Au.
So, is he come?

En.
Yes, those you thought not on. The Frier and Rogat.

Phi.
My fit, my fit.

Pro.
What will become of us Pinnario?

Pin.
Become of us, why let's unmask our selves.

Au.
Peace Gentlemen, conceal, it was my plot:
But vex Philarchus for my sake this night,
And then I am yours.

Pro.
Excellent rare wit!

Au.
Dee tremble Sir, there's remedy on coming.

Phi.
I hear um coming. Dear Amazon, on my knees
I beg concealment but for this offence,
With my hired lewd ones here, and I vow hereafter,
Never to cross thee in the least attempt.

En.
Madam, have mercy on his vanquisht Gascoyns.

Au.
Shall I then pity thee? O thou vile—

Phil.
No more, I will confess my self all base,
So youl betray us not.

Au.
In, to my Closet.
What now, Ile take a care for these. Farewell.

Exeunt.
Enter Rogat, Frier, Engin.
En.
Sir, some occasions have call'd my Master forth,
My Mistris though will much rejoyce to see you.

Ro.
But we may see Aurelia then.

En.
Yes Sir, there lies your way, if you please to enter.

Exeunt.
Enter Pinnario, Procus, Engin.
En.
For look you Gentlemen it was her policy;
For had not she devis'd some suddain terrour
To affright Philarchus, his jealousie
Had interrupted all, but now our plot is sure,
He dares not now divulge it though he know it,
Least he betray what he would act with you;
But I am glad you shirk away so handsomly.

Pin.
'Twas time I think. When shall we hear from thee?

En.
I askt not that oth' Frier. About Supper-time.

Aside.
Pro.
Thou know'st Valerio's Lodging.

En.
Why dee ask?

Pin.
We sup with him to night.

En.
Ile wait upon you there.

Pin.
Nay thou shalt, in faith, in faith thou shalt.

Gives him money.
En.
This way to please you.

Exeunt.
Enter Rogat and Frier.
Ro.
'Tis doubtless so, for had his death been certain
The Law by this time had surprized Engin.

Fr.
The House sets forth no memory of sorrow
As I past by, fear not but he's recovered.

Ro.
Fie Engin, venture all our hopes thus rashly.

Fr.
Well Son, we must not flag in the last scene,
When enterprizes most need aid and action
What has been further cast by me within,
Aurelia will inform you. Night hastens on,
Away to the prosecution.

Ro.
Ile to Senio.
Exit Rogat.

Fr.
Thus our weather-beaten Bark
Arrives at the Haven in the dark,
Hoping there to be redrest
Of the storms which her opprest,
And now smiles to think upon
Horrours she hath undergone,
So we to night expect a happy rest
In deaths cold womb, or in Aurelia's breast.

Exit.