University of Virginia Library

SCEN. 9.

Appetitvs. Avditvs with a Candlestick.
App.
What more anger? Auditus got abroad too.

Avd.
Take this abuse at base Olfactus hands?
What did he challenge me to meete me here,
And is not come? well Ile proclaime the slaue,
The vilest dastard that ere broke his word;
But stay yonder's Appetitus.

App.
I pray you Auditus, what ailes you?

Avd.
Ha, ha!

App.
What ailes you?

Avd.
Ha! what saist thou?

App.
Who hath abus'd you thus?

Avd.
Why do'st thou whisper thus? Canst not speake out?

App.

Saue me I had cleane forgotten; why are you so angry
Auditus?

Av.

Bite vs, who dare bite vs?

Ap.

I talke of no bitting, I say whats the matter betweene
Olfactus and you?

Av.

Will Olfactus bite mee? do if he dares, would he would
meete me here according to his promise: Mine eares are somwhat
thicke of late, I pray thee speake out lowder.

Ap.

Ha ha ha ha this is fine i'faith: ha, ha, ha. Heare you,
haue you lost your eares at supper.

Av.
Excellent cheare at supper I confesse it:
But when 'tis sawc'd with sowre contentions,
And breeds such quarrells 'tis intollerable,

Ap.

Pish, pish this is my question. Hath your supper spoild
your hearing?

Av.
Hearing at supper, tell not me of hearing:
But if thou saw'st Olfactus, bring mee to him.

Ap,
I aske you whether you haue lost your hearing?

Av.
O dost thou heare them ring? what a griefe is this
Thus to be deafe, and loose such harmony?
Wretched Auditus nowe shalt thou neuer here
The pleasing changes that a well tun'd Corde,
Of trowling bells, will make, when they are true rung.

Ap.

Heer's a do indeed, I thinke he is mad, as well as drunk
or deafe.

Avd.
Ha, what's that.

Ap.
I say you haue made me hoarse with speaking so loude.

Avd.
Ha, what say'st thou of a creaking Crou'd?

Ap.
I am hoarce I tell you, and my head akes.

Av.
Oh I vnderstand thee! the first croud was made of a horse-head
Tis true, the finding of a dead horse-head,
Was the first inuention of string instruments,
Whence rose the Gitterme, Viall, and the Lute:
Though others thinke the Lute was first deuis'd,
In imitation of a Tortesse back
Whose sinewes parched by Apollo's beames,
Ecchoed about the concaue of the shell,
And seeing the shortest and smallest gaue shrillest sound,
They found out frets whose sweet diuersity
(Well couched by the skill-full learned fingers)
Raiseth so strange a multitude of Cordes.
Which their opinion many do confirme,
Because Testudo signifyes a Lute.
But if I by no meanes.—

Ap.

Nay if you begin to criticke once, wee shal neuer haue
done.

(Exit Appetitus and carries away Auditus perforce