University of Virginia Library

Scena. 1.

Mendatio, Anamnestes. Hevresis.
Men.

Prethee Nam, bee perswaded, ist not better go to a
feast then stay here for a fray?

Ana.

A feast? doest thinke Auditus wil make the Iudges a feast?

Men.

Faith I, why should he carry them to his house els?

Ana.

Why sirra to heare a set or two of songs, slid his banquets
are nothing but fish all soll, soll, soll? Ile teach thee wit
boy, neuer go mee to a musitions house for Iunkets, vnlesse thy
stomake lies in thine eares; for there is nothing but commending
this songs delicate aire, that motects dainty aire, this sonnets
sweete aire, that madrigalls melting aire, this dirgesse
mournfull aire, this Church aire, that Chamber aire, French aire,
English aire, Italian aire, why Lad, they bee pure Chamælions,
they feede only vpon the aire.

Men.

Chamælions? Ile be sworne some of your Fidlers be
rather Cammels, for by their good-wills they will neuer leaue
eating.

Ana.

True, and good reason, for they do nothing all the day
but stretch and grate their small guts; but ô, yonders the Ape
Heuresis: let me go I prethee.

Men.

Nay good-now stay a little, let's see his humor.

Hev.

I see no reason to the contrary, for we see the quintessence
of Wine will conuert Water into Wine; why therefore
should not the Elixar of gold turne lead into pure gold?

Men.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, he is turned Chimick sirra, it seemes so
by his talke.

Hev.

But how shall I deuise to blow the fire of Beechecoales,
with a continuall and equall blast? ha? I will haue my
bellowes driuen with a wheele, which wheele shall bee a selfe
mouer.

Ana.

Here's old turning, these Chimicks seeking to turne
Lead into Gold, turne away all their owne Siluer.

Hev.

And my wheele shall be Geometrically proportioned
into 7. or 9. concaue incircled armes, wherein I will put equall
poises, hai, hai, hai, ευρηκα, ευρηκα, I haue it, I haue it, I haue it.

Men.

Heuresis?

Hev.

But what's best to containe the Quick-siluer? ha?

Ana.

Do you remember your promise Heuresis?

Hev.

It must not be Yron, for Quick-siluer is the tyrant of
Mettles, and will soone fret it.

Ana.

Heuresis? Heuresis?

Hevr.

Nor Brasse, nor Copper, nor Mastlin, nor Minerall,
ευρηκα, ευρηκα, I haue it, I haue it, it must be.

Ana.

You haue indeed sirra, and thus much more then you
looked for. (Snappe.)

Heuresis and Anamnestes about to fight, but Mendacio parts them.
Men.

You shall not fight, but if you will alwayes disagree,
let vs haue words and no blowes; Heuresis, what reason haue
you to fall out with him?

Hev.

Because he is alwaies abusing me, and takes the vpper
hand of me euery where.

Ana.

And why not sirra? I am thy better in any place.

Hev.

Haue I beene the Author of the seauen liberall Sciences,
and consequently of all learning? haue I beene the patron
of all Mechanicall deuises, to be thy inferiour? I tell thee Anamnestes
thou hast not so much as a point but thou art beholding
to me for it.

Ana.

Good, good, but what had your inuention beene, but
for my remembrance: I can proue that thou belly-sprung inuention,
art the most improfitable member in the world, for
euersince thou wert borne thou hast beene a bloudy murtherer,
and thus I proue it: In the quiet yeares of Saturne (I remember
Iupiter was then but in his swath-bands) thou rentest
the bowels of the earth, & broughts gold to light, whose beautie
(like Hellen) set al the world by the cares, then vpō that thou
foundest out Iron, and puttest weapons in their hands, and
now in the last populous age, thou taugh'st a scab-shin frier, the
hellish inuention of pouder and gunnes.

Hev.

Cal'st it hellish? thou liest it is the admirable'st inuention
of all others, for whereas others imitate nature, this excells
nature her selfe.

Mem.

True for a Cannon will kill as many at one shot, as
Thunder doth commonly at twenty.

Ana.

Therefore more murthering art thou then the light
bolt.

Hev.

But to shewe the strength of my conceite, I haue
found out a meanes to withstand the stroke of the most violent
culuering: Mendatio thou sawest it when I demonstrated
inuention.

Ana.

What some wool-packes? or mudwalls? or such like?

Hev.

Mendatio I prethee tell it him for I loue not to bee a
trumpeter of mine owne praises.

Mendat,

I must needs confesse, this deuise to passe all
that euer I heard or saw; and thus it was, first hee takes a Faulcon,
and charges it without all deceiptes, with dry powlder
well canphred, then did hee put in a single bullet, and a great
quantity of drop shot both round and lachrimall, this done he
sets me a boy 60. paces off, iust pointe blanke ouer against the
mouth of the peece, now in the very midst of the direct line hee

fastens a post, vpon which he hangs me in a corde a Siderite, of
Herculean stone.

Ana.

Well, well, I know it well, it was found out in Ida, in
the yeare of the world—by one Magnes, whose name it retaines,
though vulgarly they call it an Adamant.

Men.

When hee had hangd this Adamant in a corde, he
comes back, and giues fire to the tutch-hole, now the powder
consumed to a voide vacuvm.

Hev.

Which is intollerable in Nature, for first shall the whole
Machin of the world, heauen, earth, sea, and ayre, returne to the
mishapen house of Chaos, then the least vacuvm be found in
the vniuerse.

Men.

The bullet and drop-shot most impetuously from the
fierie throate of the Culuering, (but o strange) no sooner
came they neere the Adamant in the corde, but they were all
arrested by the Sargent of Nature, and houered in the ayre
round about it, till they had lost the force of their motion, clasping
themselues close to the Stone in most louely manner, and
not any one flew to endanger the marke, so much did they remember
their duty to nature, that they forgot the errand they
were sent of.

Ana.

This is a very artificiall lye.

Men.

Nam beleeue it, for I saw it, and which is more, I haue
practised this deuise often: once when I had a quarrell with
one of my Lady Ueritas naked knaues, and had pointed him
the field, I conuaide into the heart of my Buckler an Adamant,
and when we met, I drew, all the foynes of his Rapier, whether
soeuer hee intended them, or howsoeuer I guided mine arme,
pointed still to the midst of my buckler, so that by this meanes,
I hurt the Knaue mortally, and my selfe came away vntoucht, to
the wonder of all the beholders.

Ana.

Sirra you speake Metaphorically, because thy witte
Mendacio alwayes drawes mens obiections to thy forethought
excuses.

Hev.

Anamnestes 'tis true, and I haue an addition to this,
which is to make the bullet, shot from the enemy, to returne
immediatly vpon the Gunner: but let all these passe, and say the
worst thou canst against me.

Ana.

I say Gunnes were found out for the quick dispatch
of mortallity, and when thou sawest men grow wise, and beget
so faire a childe as Peace, of so foule and deformed a mother
as Warre, least there should bee no murther, thou deuisest
poyson.

Men.

Nay fie Nam, vrge him not too farre.

Ana,

And last and worst, thou foundest out cookery, that
kills more then weapons, gunnes, warres or poysons, and would
destroy all, but that thou inuentedst Phisicke, thar helpes to
make away some.

Hev.

But sirra, besides all this, I deuised Pillories for such
forging villaines as thy selfe.

Ana.

Calst mee villaine?

They fight, and are parted by Mendatio.
Men.

You shall not fight as long as I am here, giue ouer
I say.

Hev.

Mendatio you offer mee great wrong to hold me, in
good-faith I shall fall out with you.

Menda.

Away, away, away, you are Inuention, are you
not.

Hev.

Yes Sir, what then?

Men.

And you remembrance?

Ana.

Well sir, well.

Men.

Then I will be Iudicium, the moderator betwixt you,
and make you both friends, come, come, shake hands, shake
hands.

Hev.

Well, well, if you will needs haue it so?

Ana.

I am in some sort content.

Mendatio walkes with them, holding them by the hands.
Men.

Why this is as it should be, when Mendatio hath Inuention
on the one hand, and Remembrance on the other, as heele
be sure neuer to bee found with Truth in his mouth: so hee
scornes to be taken in a lye, hai, hai, hai, my fine wagges whist?

Ana.

Whist.

Hev.

Whist.