University of Virginia Library

SCENA. 5.

Com. Sens. Lingva. Phantastes. Memory. Anamnestes.
Com. S.

Lingua, the Senses by our appointment anon are to
present their obiects before vs; seeing therefore they be not
in readinesse, we license you in the meane while, either in your
owne person, or by your Aduocate, to speake what you can for
your selfe.

Lin.

My Lord if I should bring before your honour all my

friends ready to importune you in my behalfe, I should haue
so many Retoricians, Logitians, Lawyers and which is more,
so many Women to attend mee, that this Groaue would hardly
conteme the Company, wherefore to auoide the tediousnesse
I will lay the whole cause vppon the tippe of mine owne
tongue.

Com. Sen.

Be as briefe as the necessity of our short time
requires.

Ling.

My Lord, though the Imbecillitas of my feeble
sexe, might drawe mee backe, from this Tribunall, with the
habenis to wit Timoris and the Catenis Pudoris, notwithstanding
beeing so fairely led on with the gratious επιεικεια of your
iustissimæ δικαιοσυνης Especially so aspremente spurd' con gli sproni
di necessita mia pungente, I will without the helpe of Orators,
commit the totam salutem of my action to the Volutabilitati
των γυναικειων λογων, which (auec vostre bonne playseur) I will finish
with more then Laconicâ breuitate.

Co. Se.

Whats this? here's a Gallemaufry of speech indeed.

Mem.

I remember about the yeare 1602. many vsed this
skew kind of language. Which in my opinion is not much vnlike
the man Platony the Sonne of Lagus, King of Ægypt,
brought for a spectacle halfe white halfe blacke.

Com. Sen.

I am perswaded these same language makers
haue the very quality of colde in their wit, that freezeth all Heterogeneall languages together, congealing English Tynne,
Græcian Gold, Romaine Latine all in a lumpe.

Pha.

Or rather in my imagination like your Fantasticall
Gulls Apparell, wearing a Spanish Felt, a French Doblet, a
Granado Stocking, a Dutch Slop, an Italian Cloake, with a
Welch frise Ierkin.

Com. Sen.

Well, leaue your toying, we cannot pluck the
least fether from the soft wing of time. Therfore Lingua go on
but in a more formall manner, you know an ingenious Oratiō
must neyther swell aboue the Bankes with insolent words, nor
creepe too shallow in the ford, with vulger termes, but run equally,
smooth, & cheerefull, through the cleane current of a
pure stile.

Lin.

My Lord, this one thing is sufficient to confirme my

worth to be equall or better then the seases, whose best operations
are nothing till I polish them with perfection; for their
knowledge is only of things present, quickly sublimed with the
deft file of time, whereas the tongue is able to recount thinges
past, and often pronounce things to come, by this meanes re-edifying
such Excellencies, as Time and Age doe easily depopulate.

Com. Sen.

But what profitable seruice, do you vndertake for our
dread Queene Psyche?

Ling.

O how I am rauisht to thinke how infinitely she hath
graced mee with her most acceptable seruice. But aboue all
(which you Maister Register may well remember) when her
highnesse taking my mouth for her instrument, with the Bowe
of my tongue strooke so heauenly a touch vpon my teeth, that
shee charmed the very Tigers a sleepe, the lystning Beares
and Lions, to couch at her feete, while the Hills leaped, and
the woodes daunced, to the sweete harmony of her most Angelicall
accents.

Mem.

I remember it very well. Orpheus plaied vpon the
Harpe, while she sange about some foure yeares after the Contention
betwixt Apollo and Pan, and a little before the excoriation
of Marsyas.

An.

By the same token the Riuer Alpheus, at that time pursuing
his beloued Arethusa, dischanel'd himselfe of his former
course to bee partaker of their admirable consort, and the
musicke beeing ended, thrust himselfe head-long into
earth, the next way to followe his amarous Chase; if you
goe to Arcadia you shall see his comming vp againe.

Com. Sen.

Forward Lingua with your reason.

Ling.

How oft hath her Excellencie imployed mee as Imbassador
in her most vrgent affaires to forreigne Kings and
Emperours I may say to the Godds themselues. Howe many
bloudlesse Battailes haue my perswasions attained, when the
senses forces haue beene vanquished. Howe many Rebells
haue I reclaymed when her sacred authority, was little regarded
(her Lawes without exprobation be it spoken) had beene altogither
vnpublished, her will vnperformed, her illustrious
deedes vnrenoumed had not the siluer sound of my trumpet

filled the whole circuit of the Vniuerse with her deserued
fame. Her Citties would dissolue, traffique would decay friendshippes
be broken, were not my speech the knot. Mercury, and
Mastique, to binde, defende, and glewe them togither. What
should I say more; I can neuer speake inough of the vnspeakeable
praise of speech, wherein I can find no other imperfection
at all, but that the most exquisite power & excellency of speech
cannot sufficiently expresse the exquisite power, and excellency
of speaking.

Com. Sen.

Lingua your seruice and dignitie we confesse to be
great, nertheles these reasons prooue you not to haue the nature
of a sense.

Ling.

By your L. ships fauor I can soone prooue that a sense
is a facultie, by which our Queene sitting in her priuy Chamber
hath intelligence of exterior occurrents. That I am of this
nature, I proue thus. The obiect which I challenge is ---

Enter Appetitus in hast.
App.

Stay, stay my Lo. defer I beseech, defer the Iudgement.

Com. Sen.

Who's this that boldly interrupts vs this, hum.

App.

My name is Appetitus, Common seruant to the Pentarchy
of the senses, who vnderstanding that your Honour was
handling this Action of Linguaes sent mee hether thus hastely,
most humbly requesting the Bench to consider these Articles
they alleage against her before you proccede to iudgement.

Com. Sen.

Hum, here's good stuffe, Maister Register reade thē
Appetitus you may depart and bid your Mistrisse make conuenient
speede.

App.

At your Lordships pleasure.

Exit Appetitus. 3

Mem.

I Remember that I forgot my spectacles, I left them
in the 349. page of Halls Chronicles, where hee tells a great
wonder of a multitude of Mise which had almost destroyed
the Country, but that there resorted a great mightie flight of
Owles, that distroyed them, Anamnestes reade these Articles distinctly.

An.

1. Ar. Inprimis wee accuse Lingua of high treason, and
sacriledge, against the most honorable Common-wealth of letters,
for vnder pretence of profiting the people with translations,
shee hath most vilye prostituted the hard misteries

of vnknowne Languages to the prophane eares of the vulgar.

Phan.

This is as much as to make a new hell in the vpper
world, for in Hell they say Alexander is no better then a Cobler,
and nowe by these translations euery Cobler is as familiar
with Alexander as he that wrote his life.

Anam.

2. art. Item that, she hath wrongfully imprisoned a
Ladie called Veritas.

3. art. Item that she's a witch and excerciseth her tongue in
exorcismes.

4. art. Item that she's a common whore and lets euery one
lie with her.

5. art. Item that shee railes on men in Authority deprauing
their Honours, with bitter Iests and tauntes and that
she's a Backbyter setting strife betwixt Bosome friends.

6. art. Item that shee lends wiues weapons to fight against
their husbands.

7. art. Item that shee maintaines a traine of prating petty
foggers, prouling Sumners, smooth tongu'd bawdes, artlesse
Empericks, hungry Parasites, Newes-carriers, Ianglers, and
such like idle Companions, that delude the Commanalty.

8. art. Item that she made Rhetorique wanton, Logicke to
bable, Astronomy to lie.

9. art. Item that she is an incontinent Tel-tale.

10. art. Item (which is the last and worst) that shee's
a Woman in euery respect and for these causes not to bee
admitted to the dignitie of a Sense. That these Articles
bee true wee pawne our honors, and subcribe our names.

1. Visus. 4. Olfactus.
3. Gustus.
2. Auditus. 5. Tactus.

Com. Sen.

Lingua these bee shrewde allegations, and as I
thinke vn-answerable, I will deferre the iudgement of your
cause till I haue finished the contention of the Senses.

Ling.

Your Lordships must be obeyed, but as for them most
vngratefull, and perfidious wretches.

Com. S.

Good words become you better, you may depart if
you will, till we send for you. Anamnestes runne, remember Uisus,
tis time he were ready.

Anam.

I go. (Exit Anam: et redit)
he stayes here expecting
your Lordships pleasure.