 | The Combat of Love and Friendship |  |
SCEN. 4.
Mise. Pis. Lamp.Pis.
Nay, but I prithee good Miserotos, hast thou thought on
the means whereby we might effect our Desires?
Lam.
I, that is it we desire to know.
Mis.
O you can speak plain language now.
Lam.
Yes 'faith, the power of love hath reform'd me, yet at
first I was very unweildy to be wrought into passable prose. But
to the Plot you promis'd.
Mis.
Then thus: You know your Mistresse hath enjoyn'd you
to change humours; you Pisistratus to make Sonnets altogether,
as he was wont.
Lam.
Yes, this we know too well, but which way we may
execute it, are altogether ignorant.
Mis.
I'le tell you: you Lamprias shall pen some verses which
Pisistratus shall deliver as his own.
Lam.
I, but what then? he cannot lend me any of his valour,
how shall he requite me?
Mis.
Be patient a while and mark; you shall make him besides
some other verses by way of common place, to furnish him
with an answer in rime upon most occasions. Now in lieu of this
Courtesie, he shall let you in the presence of his Mistresse give
him any opprobrious terms whatsoever, and with patience receive
3. or 4. blowes and kicks from you: which must needs
give a sufficient Testimony of your mutual change, and her
power that effected it.
Lam.
Thanks kind Miserotos; this plot is admirable: I'le pen
some thundering speech for my self, which if I have the grace
to pronounce with a brave courage, I am made for ever: But
I much fear, I shall hardly find in my heart to beat this Pisistratus,
I have found him alwaies so boysterous; and then I have
no skill at my weapon.
Mis.
O 'tis but practising a little, you may beat your man
or so.
Lam.
What if I practis'd first upon one of my Landladies
Maids?
Mis.
That's base and cowardly.
Lam.
Or one of her little boyes?
Mis.
Well, do as you will; but see that you look and speak
very couragiously.
Pis.
But what shall I do if he chance to ask me some questions,
to which I have no answer in verse?
Lam.
Why I'le tell you the trick on't; 'Tis but thinking of
two words that are rime first; and I'le warrant you with a very
little pain, you may screw some other words to make up the
verse: 'tis no great matter though one be sometimes shorter
then another; a cripple verse that halts upon crutches, sometimes
does very well, and moves compassion.
Why look you, let's hear you rime, here's two words,
Armado, and Lansprisado.
Lam.
For your sake Madam, I fear not an Armado,
For I would kill e'm all with my Lansprisado.
Pis.
Very well: here's two other; Musket and Helmet.
Lam.
O Sir, that's no rime; you must by all means take a great
care that your verses fall in the like sound, or else you spoyl all.
Pis.
What if I read some of our late versifiers for exercise? for
I think there are none better to bring a man to a smooth familiar
stile of riming, then some of our Modern Poems that treat of
Executions, and Monsters born in other Countries.
Mis.
What Ballads?
Pis.
So I think they call e'm.
Mis.
Out upon e'm: treat of executions say you? it is one
to read e'm; and for Monsters, they can feign none so prodigious
as themselves: I'le be judg'd by your Friend Lamprias else.
Lam.
Indeed I alwaies esteem'd them scarce fit for a Gentlemans
survey; and yet since Watermen, and such people have
dabled in Poetry, I see no reason why they may not be gather'd
into a Volume, and call'd Works: Howsoever I believe it will
not be amisse for a young Sucking Poet as you are to take all advantage
of imitation.
Pis.
I, as if I had a mind to wish her happy, thus would I
rime.
And send it long to raign;
And eke your loyal Servants all
In health and wealth maintain.
Lam.
Yes, yes, such may serve very well, being 'tis a way you
never were skill'd in: But I'le furnish you as well as I can with
verses and rimes to give an Answer to most questions, or else
stand by and prompt you. You'l keep counsel, and never be
discontented if it fall to my lot to enjoy her, as I promise in the
same case for you.
Pis.
Ne're doubt me; but be you sure you do not kick too
hard, for I shall be my self again presently if you do. Come let's
be gone, and prepare our selves.
(Exe. Pis. Lam.)
I will by no means misse this sport, it will be excellent
mirth to hear the Captain thunder out his amorous soft strains,
and my t'other friend whine out some bombast speech in a lamentable
amorous tone: I'le be sure to follow e'm.
| The Combat of Love and Friendship | |