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Scen. 5.
Thiphæna, Quartilla, Capritio, Miscellanio.Triph.
What are you come, tis wel, advance yet forward
We ever told you what a hatefull vice
This bashfulnesse was counted.
Quart.
You forget
The Theoremes we told you. Lord how often
Shall we inforce these documents upon you?
Capr:
May not a man buy a brazen face, think you,
Among all this Company?
Quar.
By no meanes
Your Trades-men will not part with them, there are
Many i'th City haue such furniture,
But they doe keepe them for their owne wearing.
Miscel.
Stand by a while, let me salute these Ladies.
Haile to these twins of honour, and of beauty.
Quar.
Sir, you transgresse in your opinion,
If you consider both, alas my beauty
Is much exhausted.
Miscel.
Lady, you are deceiued,
For you are amiable, or else I haue
In vaine, so often exercised my iudgement
In the distinction of faces.
Quart.
I shall
Be proud to be so seated in your favour.
Triph.
But tell me, Signeour Miscellanio,
What thinke you of your pupill?
Miscel.
Troth I found him
As rude as any Chaos, so confus'd
I knew not which way to distinguish him
He seem'd to me, not to participate
Of any Gentle Nature, never I thinke,
A crooked peece of timber, was attempted
By a true traveller: but I hope in time
To rectifie him, for Labor vincit omnia.
Triph.
Does he come on well, is there any hope
He will receive his true dye, his right tincture?
Miscel.
I warrant you, that I'll make him in time,
A perfect Caveleiro: he shall weare
His clothes as well, and smell as ranke as they,
And court his Mistris, and talke idlely: that's
As much as can be required in a true Gallant,
T'approue him one: nay more too, he shall dance
And doe the halfe Pomado, play at Gleeke,
And promise more than ere he will performe,
And nere part with a penny to a Trades-man
Til he has beat him for't: shall walke the streets
As gingerly, as if he fear'd to hurt
The ground he went on, whilst his cast downe eye
Holds commerce with his legge: shall utter nothing
What ere he thinkes, yet sweare't what ere it be.
Nay more, he shall vow love to all he sees,
And damne himselfe to make them beleeue it.
Shall fawne on all men, yet let his friend perish,
For what he spends in one day on his Punke,
For Coach hire: these are speciall properties,
And must be often practis'd, to remember,
He shall neuer rise till it be ten a clocke,
And so be ready against dinner time.
Caprit.
'Slight and my father had not bin an Asse,
I might haue beene able to haue writ this downe.
Triph.
Pray let me heare how he has profited.
Miscel.
Salute these Ladies as you were instructed
You must conceiue the coldnesse of his courtship,
As yet points but one way; you may suppose it
To his disdainfull Mistris, when he shall come to
The Cape de bone speranza of her loue,
He may vary like the compasse of his complement.
Capr.
Lady, the Fates have led me to your service,
Yet let me so farre winne upon your bountie,
That what I utter in humilitie,
May not cause my contempt, or have my loue
Shak'd off, because tis ripe, but let me hang by
The stalke of your mercie, the remnant of whose life
Lies in your power.
Miscel.
Your oath now to confirme it,
If she should chance to doubt, or presse you to it.
Caprit.
That's true indeed. By the structure of your breasts,
And by the silken knot that tyes your haire
Vpon the top of your crowne, I protest it.
Quart.
If he can persevere, tis excellent.
Enter Trimalchio.
Trim.
Where be these noble Ladies?
Triph.
Sir you are come in the most happy houre,
I was wishing for you.
Trim.
I am in haste,
And onely come to see you: there's a banquet
Stands ready on the table, and the Lords
Sweare they will not sit downe, untill I come.
Trip.
You stil are in such hast, when you come hither.
Trim.
I thinke I must retire my selfe, I am
So sued and sought to, where I come, I am growne
Even weary of their loves: Last night at a Masque,
When none could be admitted, I was led in
By the hand, by a great Lord, that shall be namelesse,
And now this morning early, in his Chamber,
A Fencer would needs play with meat foyles,
I hit him in three places, and disarm'd him.
Quar.
Why now my dreame is out, I lay last night
Vpon my backe, and was adream'd of fighting.
Trip.
Sir, will you please to know these Gentlemen,
My brother, and his Tutor.
Trim.
I must craue pardon,
Is this your brother?
Triph.
Yes,
Trim.
I must embrace him.
I so affected on the sudden, sure
There's some Nobility does lurke within him
That's not perspicuous to euery eye:
He promises fo faire, I should haue knowne him
To be your brother, had you not told me so.
Miscel.
Your method now of thankes.
Caprit.
Right Noble Sir,
I haue so often times beene honour'd,
And so much madefied.
Quart.
That word I taught him.
Capr.
With the distilling influence of your bounty,
That I must blame my selfe, and my hard fortune,
That has envyed me the ability
To render satisfaction.
Miscel.
Very well.
Trip.
Sir you must pardon him, he is but a Novice,
Newly initiated, and 'tis his fault,
That he is bashfull.
Trim.
Is that all? I'll take him
To Court with me, where he shall be acquainted
With Pages, Laundresses, and wayting women,
Shall teach him impudence enough.
Trip.
'Tis my defire.
Quar.
His Tutor has taught him the Theory,
Onely he wants the practike.
Trim.
I pray Sir,
Without offence, may I demand of you,
What doe you professe?
Miscel.
Why Sir, any thing
Within the compasse of humanity.
To speake, or act, no Pythagorean
Could euer thinke upon so many shapes
As I will put you in; the French, the Spanish,
Or the Italian garbe; not any one,
But ioyntly all, I'll make a perfect man
Out of the shreds of them.
Quart.
Besides the riding
Euen to the discecting of a Capon.
Are Lectures of Anatomy.
Trim.
I shall
Be proud to know him.
Miscel.
Now I collect my selfe,
Sure I haue seene you Sir in Padua,
Or some face neere like yours.
Trim.
I haue indeed,
Receiu'd letters of invitation
From one, that's sonne to a Magnifico,
Who is inform'd that I am very like him.
Miscel.
There was the mistake then.
Trim.
Sir, had I power
O're my occasions, which now are urgent,
I would most willingly imploy the time
In survay of your vertues.
Miscel.
Sir, it has beene
The scope I euer aym'd at in my travels,
To seeke out, and converse with such as haue
With forraine obseruations advanc'd
Their naturall endowments, and I thanke
My Starres, I haue beene euer fortunate
To be belou'd amongst them, and that you
Are one, I make no question.
Trim.
Sir, you need not.
Miscel.
My mind was euer larger, than to be
Compris'd within the limits of my Country.
And I congratulate my Fate, in that
I come so neare the vertue of that planet,
That rul'd at my Nativitie; whose nature,
Which e're it be, is euer to be wandring.
Trim.
Sir, I must be abrupt, but for my promise
Vnto some Noble friends that doe expect me,
I could not easily be drawne away
From one in whom so many seuerall graces
Are so apparent, therefore I intreat you
Not to impute it to my lacke of iudgement,
Miscel.
By no meanes, Sir,
Friendship is turn'd into an iniury
When it usurps authority, conceiue me,
O're a friends businesse, some other time
Shall serue to giue a mutuall testimonie
Of love betweene us, and how much I honour you.
Quar.
When will you doe this?
Capr.
I am practising.
Trip.
Prethee Quartilla, helpe me stave them oft.
Although they haue no mercy on themselues
Yet we must use some conscience.
Quar.
Gentlemen,
You'l breake your wits with stretching them, forbeare
I beseech you.
Trim.
My wit, it never failes me,
I haue it at a certainty: I'll set it
To runne so many houres, and when 'tis downe,
I can wind it up like a Watch. But I feare
I have deceiu'd the time too long. Ladies,
I'll take my leaue of your faire beauties: you haue
No seruice to enjoyne?
Trip.
You'll take my brother
Capritio with you.
Trim.
If he please, and his Tutor.
Miscel.
My suffrage shall consent to anything
Her Ladyship approues.
Quart.
You must remember,
You proue not refractory to your discipline,
'Twill be much for your improvement.
Trim.
I'll bring him
Vnto a Captaine, shall set both our faces
To looke like the very Ianus of a States-man,
And so farewell. Come Sir.
Exeunt Trimalchio, Capritio.
Triph.
I told you, Signiour,
What a rare man he was.
Miscel.
In all my travels
Was so mellifluous in his discourse.
I thinke when he was young, some swarme of Bees
Did light upon his lips, as it was fain'd
Of Hesiod.
Triph.
Let's in, for I shall mourne,
And be melancholy, till his returne.
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