University of Virginia Library

ACT. I.

SCEN. I.

Scedasus, Patacion, Epigenes, Terpander, Eudemus, Nicias with the Pictures of three Byzantine Virgins.
Sced.
But there's no other way.

Epi.
They must be sent
Or we must die.

Pat.
Wee're no such subtile feeders
As to make Meals on Air, sup on a Blast,
And think a fresh Gale Second Course.

Terp.

No verily; Let's see thy Pictures, Nicias. I
would the Tyrant had a mind to all the Wenches in the
Citty, and would barter Bread in exchange: a Loaf a
Wench have at him from one end o'th'Town to the
other.

Eud.
Fond men!
You strive to purchase a short Liberty
By means more infamous than Servitude;
If that a Tyrant's lust do burn, are we
Bound to supply that which may quench his fury?
If his unruly Passion, kindled by
Report of Beauty, doth grow big with flames,
And saucily exact what e'r is fair
And eminently gracefull, as if Nature
Had sent it as a Tribute due to him,
Though't be the dowrie of another State,
Shall we surrender it, and basely prize
Our Innocence below his haughty Anger?

Terp.
I say the Pictures then shall not be sent.

Pat.
Had we a Magazine well furnish'd, were
Our Granaries charg'd with Corn, there were some Plea
Against his practice: but this tedious Siedge
Forceth our noble thoughts to other waies,
Whiles Famine cals that Lawful which is base.

Terp.
Why then the Pictures must be sent how e'r.

Eud.
Will you still owe your vertues to your Bellies?
And only then think nobly when y'are full?
Doth Fodder keep you honest? are you bad
When out of flesh? and think you't an excuse
Of vile and ignominious Actions, that
Y'are lean, and out of liking? for I must
Speak of you now as Cattle, whiles you thus
Enslave your selves unto the Paunch, enduring
A Tyranny beyond that you complain of.

Terp.
I say he must speak of us now as Beasts;
Say what you will the Pictures sha'n't be sent.

Sced.
'Tis better do't than starve.

Eud.
Well rumbled Belly;
There spoke a stomack.

Terp.
I, there spok a stomack.

Sced.
We have not strength left to uphold our weapons;
Armour, that was e'r while a Garment only,
Is now a Burthen. Famine hath imprinted
Old age upon the Visages of Children,
And Youths appear like th' Ghosts of the deceas'd;
Or like some Creatures, whom the Destinies
Will not permit to dye; W' have scarce enough
Flesh to receive a Wound, no force to give one;
Would you have Skelleton maintain a fight
That will fall with th' Ayre of the passing Dart?
We have not vigour to defend our selves,
Nor yet a Sacrifice to win the Gods
Over unto our side.

Eud.
To win the Gods?
Have you not Minds, and Pray'rs? 'tis not the Beasts
Heart that propitiates Heaven, but your own.
Think not that I engage my self in this
For a particular end, a private good;
'Tis common what I aime at: 'tis not that
My Daughter 's liable to his choice
That I diswade. Whiles I deny the sending
Of these three faces, I deny your Wives,
Your Daughters, nay, perhaps your Sons; for that
Which now desires but one, will spread to all;
Without distinguishing of Age, or Sexe.
Think what a Blot will stain our memory
To all Posterity, when't shall be said
Byzantium was a Pander to a Tyrant.
Let yet our miseries be honest; let us,
If that the Gods deny us happinesse,
Persist unfortunate without Reproach.

Terp.
And that's considerable, wee'l be honest sure.

Epi.
We do approve your reasons; but if he
(As it is likely) conquer us, we shall
'Mongst other our indignities, be sure
To suffer this too. Then consider with
What mind we do't; we yield up one to reskue
All other from abuse. Our own misfortunes
Are not as yet i'th' Catalogue. What can we
Expect so mercifull as death? he won't
Indulge a killing torment; we shall be
Reserv'd to after miseries, and life
Only kept in to keep us longer dying.

Terp.
Marry God forbid; we will not be mangled sure.

Eud.
Fear never wanted arguments; you do
Reason your selves into a Carefull bondage,
Circumspect only to your Misery:
I could urge Freedom, Charters, Country, Laws,
Gods, and Religion, and such precious names;
Nay, what you value higher, Wealth; but that
You sue for Bondage, yielding to demands
As Impious, as th'are Insolent, and have
Only this sluggish aime, to perish full.

Terp.
Painter, budg not a foot, wee'l stand it out.

Nic.
You speak most rightly Sir, but we are hungry.

Pat.
Hunger will be the least of evils, we
Shall not be found so Innocent, as only
To pine, and dye; our miseries will grow savage:
Man will refresh himself on man; the stronger
Devour the weaker, till at last one pair
Be only left who must be call'd the Citty.

Terp.
Haste for thy life, we cannot stand it out.

Nic.
I hope your Worships will dispatch me with 'em.
'Tis my request my pains be only thus
Rewarded, to present 'em to the Tyrant.

Sced.
Most fit, good Nicias. All agree?

Epig., Pat.
Yes, all.

Eud.
It is one happiness that he askes no more:
And we are blest in that a Tyrant's modest,
Being beholding to his wishes, that
They've put such limits to our Infamy.
There is no Beast more stubborn and unruly
Than is the Belly: Th' empty and the full
Are both alike in this, that they'll not listen.
The Brand be yours, if the Misfortune mine.

Pat.
Sir, the misfortune cann't be only yours;
For I've a Daughter too, that in a love
To better education waits on yours;
Who hath from thence contracted such a tye
Unto her Ladies vertues, that she is
Resolv'd to run an equall hazard with her:
'Tis my Euthalpe; whom, were she anothers,
I would call fair, and vertuous, and deserving.

Ex. Eud. Pat. Sced. Epig.
Terp.
Go, go, go: follow and take order.
Nicias, come hither: I'l impart a secret to thee.

The truth is, one of us is much o'rseen: 'twas a most
improvident thing, who e'r 'twas did it, to go and beget
a fair Daughter, and nere aske the advice of the Common
Councel before hand. But let's be now judicious, and
weigh reasons.

Our Innocence priz'd below his Anger?—Carry 'em not Painter.
Yet Famine cals that lawfull which is base.—Thou must carry 'em Painter.
Still owe our Vertues to our Bellies?—Stay Painter.
Yet no vigour left to defend our selves.—Go Painter.
This sluggish aime to perish full?—Stand Painter.
Yet the stronger will devour the weaker.—Run Painter.

All these wisely consider'd, thou must not go, and thou
Must go, and so I leave thee.

Ex. Terp.
Ni.
Now I am Legat Nicias: th' only way
If you'd perform an Embassie with just
And decent Ceremony, is to last long;
This Siedge hath sterv'd me into so good Manners,
That when I'm feasted in the Tyrant's Tent
I shall not choose but make as many obeysances
Unto the Chine of Beef, as he that carrieth it
Doth to the Chair of State. My lofty Widdow,
Who, if that I had dignity, hath promis'd
T'accept my Person, will be hence demerited:
For though I be abus'd, and made their mirth,
To suffer from a Prince is still thought worth.

Exit.

Scen. II.

Pyle, Elpidia.
Pyl.
Three sent besides? have I so many Rivalls?
I'd thought I'd been the Phœnix of the Citty:
But men have left to judge, not I to be
What I was ever, fair, and smooth, and handsome;
Look we not bright Elpidia, and Maiestique?

Elpi.
Truly sweet Mistris—

Pyl.
How, you paltry Baggage?
Sweet Mistris? when we only want the Tyrants
Approving to be Queen? call us your Grace.

Elp.
Your Grace, me thinks, would make a very Queen,
But that you use to beat your servants so.

Pyl.
Our Maids of Honour you do mean—

Scen. III.

To them Nicias.
[Pyl.]
—Now Fellow!

Nic.
I hope your mind is chang'd, you will not lay
Such an Injunction on your willing Servant:
You punish, not command; what could you worse,
If you did hate me?

Pyl.
Dare you question what
We please to will? or carry't, or you come not
So near hereafter, as to be commanded
Again by Pyle.

Nic.
'Twere t'incense the Tyrant,
With these three Virgins to present your Picture.

Pyl.
VVhy not our Picture Sir? we are a VViddow
But of the first wrinkle; and yet no wrinkle
But that we please to say so. Wee're as faire
As any Shee in all Byzantium,
If that our Glass and Chambermaid tell truth:
Why not our Picture, Sawciness?

Nic.
And 't please you,
This is the very reason, why I say
It would incense the Tyrant, that we should
Keep so much Beauty so long from him.

Pyl.
Dare you
Offer to daube it with your Commendations?
And make it less by your approving? know
When you do ought but reverence, you disparage;
Wee're only to be prais'd by them that are
Worthy t' enjoy us, Kings.

Nic.
I hope you will not
Suffer your thoughts to cut me out. Although
I am not o'th' Bloud Royall, yet I am
Ambassadour, the first of my Trade, that
Ere yet obtain'd that Dignity.

Pyl.
What? doth not
The least of our commands entitle you
To as much honour as the bigg'st Employment
Of the whole Citty can? If you do hope
For our Affection, win't by doing this.

Nic.
Though you are fit to be a sacred Consorr
To Majesty, and yield all Asia Princes,
Yet give me leave, ev'n for that very reason
Not to perform this your Injunction.
It were to lose you, while I strive to gain you.

Pyl.
You are unmanner'd. Reason's for Mechanicks:
Stand we for Queen, and be disputed with?

Nic.
I'm gon—But pray y' suffer me—

Pyl.
You're troublesome,
We do command you hence. That you may see
We do't in no great Anger (keep behind Sir,)
We do indulge our hand,

Nic.
Good sweet Elpidia,
When that thy Mistris shall go o'r the Citty,
And aske thee what thou thinkst of him, and him,
Drop one good word for me. She is a Widdow;
Put her in mind of this my promising Nose;
That, and my long Foot, make up perfect Letters
Of Commendation to a Citty Widow.

Elp.
If you have any other signs pray y' tell me;
I'l read her th'Inventory of your good Parts.

Ex. Nicias.
Pyl.
The foolishness o'th' Man! But yet we cannot
Forbid these poor Mechanicks to affect us:
If that he had not undertook this charge,
I'd cast him off for daring to deny it;
And now he hath thus undertook it, he
Discards himself; for I do know that I
Must needs be chosen. To requite his love
I'l beg his pardon then, for daring to
Be Rivall to a Tyrant. How I scorn
All names below the Throne! I do feel something
That prompts my new-stamp'd thoughts to Majesty;
And saies I shall be Queen before I dye:
Shee's more than servile that desires not Rule.
Hold up our Train Elpidia as we pass.

Exeunt.

Scen. IV.

Philostratus, Callimachus, Prusias.
Phil.
Now who would live in peace good Prusias? tell me,
Is it not better far to seize your Prey
In open field, than to stand whimpring at
The Chamber door, like to the little Spaniel?

Cal.
Or scratch upon the Wainscot like my Ladies
Black Cat to gain Admittance?

Phil.
Here you do not
With folded Arms embrace your self, because
You can't embrace your Mistris—

Pru.
Right—

Cal.
You do not
Stand in as many Postures, as a Painters
Servant, when that his Master is to daub
Some peopled Bus'ness in a Pyebald Canvass.

Phil.
You do not lye Perdue under the shelter
Of an unmercifull Balcony, to
Get the Advouzon of an half kiss, when
Her first-born wrinkle shall indent her forehead.

Call.
You do not stand enchanted at her door,
Gaping, and yawning, as if some Apothecary
Had hir'd your Mouth, and set it for stray Gnats,
And Vagabond Flies.

Pru.
Sweet Captain, prethee on.

Cal.
At home there's trick on trick. Celadon he
Loves Amaryllis, Amaryllis Daphnis,
But Daphnis Cloe, Cloe Melibæus,
Fond Melibæus Mopsa, Mopsa at last
Some body, that loves some body, that I know not:
Affection goes like a Pedigree; Heart loves Heart
To th' end o'th' Chapter.

Phil.
No such Labyrinth here:
No needles hanging at each others Tailes.
No Cupid here preserves the Tears of Lovers
To mix 'em with the Ashes of burnt Hearts,
To make a Lie to wash his Mothers smock in,
Which silly sighs must dry.

Cal.
You shall not have
A wench cry pish, and puh. And is't not better
To clap the Bargain up for a brace of Drachma's,
Than to be bound to call all Women Nymphs,
And Goddesses, and Hamadryades;
That, when you are alone i'th' Woods, they'l please
To be such willing Worms as Men call Milkmaids.

Pru.
Troth I ne'r thought 'em Deities: I was
Alwaies of this opinion, that they did
Consist of Flesh and Bloud. I now begin
To like all wellin War, except the fighting.

Phil.
The bravest sport is yet to come: The Ransack
O'th' Citty, that's the chiefest. You shall have
This Lord come profer you his Daughter, this
Burgesse his Wife, and that unskilfull youth
Pray you begin to him in 's trembling Bride.

Pri.
I'm for your tender Maidenheads: I would not
Venture my self with a stale Virgin, or
A season'd Widow for a Kingdom.

Cal.
Shalt
Make choice among a thousand; let thy Affection
Fly at a Flock, a Cloud of Game: I'm tickled
To think how we shall find one toothless Matron
Environ'd round, and cheerfully besiedg'd
With her Strong-water Cellar; The other compass'd
With five or six good large deep-belly'd Bottles,
And both of them mumping for Consolation.

Phil.
Then a step farther, and one fearfull Lady
Squatted among her Sweet meats; th' other wedg'd
Beeween her Gally-pots and Fucusses;
A third perhaps doing her Devotions in
Potent Eringo's, or praying to her Gellies
Against the good houre comes, and all to find
Grace in the Conquerours Eyes, Mine, Thine, or His.

Call.
Then, for the spoile, we shall come loaded home,
Gold, Silver, Garments, Pictures, Jewels, Statues,
Great massy Goblets, Chalices, and Gods,
VVomen, and Boys, catch he that can, they are
His own that first laies hold on them. Dull Peace!
Hang her! she doth allow us nothing but
Those barren things Statutes, and Matrimony.

Pru.
I'l to the houses where I think I shall
Meet with the best Conserves, and tenderst Virgins;
Sweetmeats and Maidenheads are all I aime at:
I shall not be so good at spoil as you,
Being I am but a new-made Captain: wherefore
If you Callimachus, or you Philostratus
Meet with a handsome Perruke, pray y' reserve it
For your friend Prucias—Peace, here comes Misander.

Scen. V.

To them Misander, Cleodemus, Timophilus.
Mis.
Hear you no News yet Captains from the City?

Phil.
They slight you Majesty by their delaies,
Thinking to weary your desire by lingring.

Mis.
I dealt too mildly with 'em, in that I
Did offer to request without the Sword:
They shall know what 'tis to delude him that
Ne'r threatned twice; whose anger then is base
VVhen it admits that respite, as to give
A second warning.

Cleo.
'Tis below your Highness
Thus to expect: were you a private Man
It were past suff'rance

Mis.
Do they mock me then?
I'l fall upon them like a Judgement. Plagues
And Famines shall be modest; what they count
A visitation now, shall be my Custome,
One of my slightest punishments, and so
Reckon'd hereafter among ord'nary things.

Cal.
Please you but to give leave wee'l force admittance,
And ransack all the Citty ere Sunset.

Mis.
Traytor, thou know'st not what thou wishest: there's
A Jewel in't, which if it should be touch'd
By any but my selfe, I should account
My Diadem guilty of offending Nature.
Be thankfull that I pardon thy request.

Tim.
They are below your Anger; let no such
Vile, abject things disturb your higher thoughts,
Unto whose fame you'l add by Conquering;
Let them enjoy a Peace of your bestowing.

Mis.
Think not Timophilus to divert my Fury:
I'l raze their City into a solitude;
Then, if they please, let 'em call that a Peace.
My Reconciliation is by Ruine.

Tim.
Me thinks y' have executed a Revenge
Sufficient by the Preparation to it:
Anothers VVar carries less Miserie with it
Than your Provision for one; and they suffer
As Conquer'd, whiles that you do but approach.

Mis.
They do but grone divided yet; their sighs
Fly yet, as doth their smoak, here and there some;
I'l have them make one Cloud, wherein I will
Sit like a Deity in a softer Chariot,
Triumphing over Earth—But I do ill
To menace such misfortunes to a City
That doth contain a Virgin of such sweetness
As makes each Place Elysium as she passeth:
I must be tender of their good—Yet why,
Why shall they dare thus to deny her me
To whom all things of price are due? They're stubborn;
I'l bring those Buildings of that threatning height
As low as their Foundations, and their Minds
Lower than them. Callimachus, give order
Unto the Souldier for a sudden Assault.

Cal.
You thought it not excusable, but by
Your speciall Pardon, that I only ask'd it.
I will not dye for doing your Command.

Mi.
Am I neglected then?

Ph.
I'l go, and't please you.

Mis.
Stay, Villain, or thou dy'st. Among the Throng
Of more ignoble Creatures, she perhaps
Might perish too; but that her Beauty will
Disarm ev'n Cruelty it self, and so
Work her escape by conquering with a Look.
Howe'r the Sin's too much, if that I should
Proceed but so far only, as to fright her.
Yet there's no other way of winning—Go—
Do not—Why stir you not?—Come back—
To suffer thus, Misander, for that Blest one
(For sure she must be blest that is so fair)
Is chief of all thy Glories—Captains, to
Your charges; what do you here?—I am not well.

Ex. Mis. Cleo. Tim. Pru
Cal.
He hath two Furies in him, Hate, and Love.
Killing, and Making Mortals wholly share him.

Phil.
A little Red i'th' Cheeks will melt him, when
A stream of bloud spilt by his own Command,
Moves him no more than if 'twere so much water.

Call.
This 'tis to have an hunting Eye; as he
Pass'd through Byzantium, be survey'd each Virgin
With a most eager and committing Look.
This one among the rest (who e'r she be)
He had no sooner spy'd, but his nimble Soul
Did visibly climb up unto her Eyes
By their own Beams.

Phil.
And he will hate as soon;
I'd rather be his Jument than his Mistresse:
Suspicion makes his Bed an Armory;
His head lyes never soft untill he hath
Guarded his Pillow with a brace of Daggers.

Call.
His Feare hath brought him too that custom too,
That let a Gnat but buzze, he stabs the Ayr,
Strikes out of Habit, and sleeps cruelly.

Phil.
Peace, let's withdraw, if that we mean to live.

Scen. VI.

Misander, Patacion, Nicias, Timophilus, Cleodemus, Prusias.
Mis.
Do y' mock me with a shadow? and present
A Baby for a Goddesse? I'l proportion
Revenge unto your Crime, and leave nought else
To testifie the memory of your City,
But idle foolish Pictures, such as these.

Pata.
Our City sends them not in Policy
To keep you longer off. It is not, that
They may deny you, but that you may choose;
And if it please you but to stoop so low
As to design but one of them, and make her
More fair by such your choise, there shall be no
Delay in fetching her, but what you make
In giving the Command.

Prus.
They dare not mock you;
You need not doubt performance, I will warrant
The very Father will conduct her to
Your Bed, and be glad of th' emploiment too.

Tim.
There's nothing wanting to them but the Life;
Did they but move you, th' had been very Virgins.

Mis.
How dare you look upon 'em, being I am
To make my choice of one?—Let's see the Pictures.

Nic.
These are the very Stars that gild our City:
As for this other, 'tis the Picture of one
Whose very sight's an Epigram: to draw her
Is only lawfully to Libell her.
She is a good well-willer to your Majesty.

Prus.
A well-willer say you to his Majesty?
Let's see't.

Nic.
A Widdow, that I'm Sutor to:
I hope you'l scorn to take my leavings Sir.

Mis.
Whose Picture's this?

Pat.
'Tis one Leucasia's,
The Daughter of Eudemus.

Mis.
That is she.
Along with them, Timophilus, and fetch her:
I love her in the Picture.

Nic.
O the Times!
Not bid me eat? there is no courtesie
I see in Tyrants. Please your Highnesse, I'd
Fain tell what house you keep when I come home.

Mis.
Goe, give him what the Camp affords.

Nic.
D'y' hear

To Prusias.

Sir,
Be fair condition'd; use that Picture honestly
I pray y', and do not make my Pencill Cuckold.

Exeunt Pat. Nic. Tim.
Mis.
I wonder his Affection would permit
His Art to shew it self in such a Piece.
Could he gaze so long on, as to pourtray,
And have so little flame, as not to love?
As Misan. contemplates Leu. Picture, Pru. contemplates on the Widdows.
Shee's too exactly perfect to be brought
Forth by a Woman: Nature sure her self
Descending to conceive, travell'd with her.

Cle.
VVhy do you fasten those large Eyes, which should
Shed light, as doth the Sun, on every place
Due to the VVorld, upon a silly Tablet?

Mis.
VVhere the bare shadow's such, what is the Substance?
That face which carries Natures favours Printed
Upon it in such gracious Characters,
By a most lawfull captivating Power
Makes all our Senses hers. But take it hence:
I have her in my Mind, a Tablet that
Thine hands cannot remove; there I behold her
Drawn by my Thoughts far better than the Pencill.
O! I do feel something that is not Lust;
A thing that is more subtle, more refin'd
Than to be stil'd Desire.

Cleo.
I hope you will not
Begin to yoak your self at last? It is
The love of private men that doth descend
To Ceremonious VVedlock. You're t' enjoy
VVithout that idle knot of Matrimony.

Mis.
But that I have not leasure now to punish
I'ld—VVell; I'l suffer all. Say what you will.
VVhat Torrent is't hurries my Passions thus?
Here, hold my Sword—Give me't again—I am
Of Merits far to light to ballance hers;
She will refuse me sure—Pray y' leave me Sirs—
Yet now I think on't don't—How every Limb
Presents a Goddess! every part a Day
Darkning the neighbour Jewell!—Let me have
Some Musick Prusias—Prethee Cleodemus
Suffer not any to disturb my thoughts;
I would be quiet—VVhat a sacred vigor
Dwels in each sprightfull Parcell!—Low Misander,
A shadow can thy larger Thoughts confine;
Hiding a Power that's Tyrant over thine.