 | The Woman-Hater |  |
Scæna Secunda.
Enter Pandar.Pan.
Here hope I to meet my Citizen, and hopes he
to meet his Scholar; I am sure I am grave enough,
to his eyes, and knave enough to deceive him: I am believ'd
to conjure, raise storms, and devils, by whose power I can
do wonders; let him believe so still, belief hurts no man;
I have an honest black cloak, for my knavery, and a general
pardon for his foolery, from this present day, till the day
of his breaking. Is't not a misery, and the greatest of our
age, to see a handsome, young, fair enough, and well
mounted wench, humble her self, in an old stammel petticoat,
standing possest of no more fringe, than the street
can allow her: her upper parts so poor and wanting, that
ye may see her bones through her bodies: shooes she would
have, if our Captain were come over, and is content the
while to devote her self to antient slippers. These premisses
well considered, Gentlemen, will move, they make me melt
I promise ye, they stirr me much: and wer't not for my
smooth, soft, silken Citizen, I would quit this transitory
Trade, get me an everlasting Robe, sear up my conscience,
and turn Serjeant. But here he comes, is mine as good as
prize: Sir Pandarus be my speed, ye are most fitly met
Sir.
Enter Mercer.
Mer.
And you as well encount'red, what of this heir? hath
your Books been propitious?
Pan.
Sir, 'tis done, she's come, she's in my house, make
your self apt for Courtship, stroke up your stockings, loose
not an inch of your legs goodness; I am sure ye wear
socks.
Mer.
There your Books sail ye Sir, in truth I wear no
socks.
Pand.
I would you had, Sir, it were the sweeter grace for
your legs; get on your Gloves, are they perfum'd.
Mer.
A pretty wash I'll assure you.
Pand.
'Twill serve: your offers must be full of bounty,
Velvets to furnish a Gown, Silks for Peticoats, and Foreparts
Shag for lining; forget not some pretty Jewel to fasten,
after some little compliment? if she deny this courtesie,
double your bounties, be not wanting in abundance, fulness
of gifts, link'd with a pleasing tongue, will win an Anchorite.
Sir, ye are my friend, and friend to all that professes
good Letters; I must not use this office else, it fits not for
a Scholar, and a Gentleman: those stockins are of Naples,
they are silk.
Mer.
Ye are again beside your Text, Sir, they're of the
best of Wooll, and the clipped Jersey.
Pan.
Sure they are very dear.
Mer.
Nine shillings, by my love to learning.
Pan.
Pardon my judgement, we Scholars use no other
objects, but our Books.
Mer.
There is one thing entomb'd in that grave breast,
that makes me equally admire it with your Scholarship.
Pand.
Sir, but that in modesty I am bound not to affect
mine own commendation, I would enquire it of you.
Merc.
Sure you are very honest; and yet ye have a kind
of modest fear to shew it: do not deny it, that face of yours
is a worthy, learned modest face.
Pand.
Sir, I can blush.
Mer.
Virtue and grace are always pair'd together: but
I will leave to stirr your bloud Sir, and now to our business.
Pand.
Forget not my instructions.
Mer.
I apprehend ye Sir, I will gather my self together
with my best phrases, and so I shall discourse in some sort
takingly.
Pand.
This was well worded Sir, and like a Scholar.
Mer.
The Muses favour me as my intents are virtuous,
Sir, ye shall be my Tutor, 'tis never too late Sir, to love
Learning.
Pand.
What do you intend Sir?
Mer.
Marry I will then begger all your bawdy Writers,
and undertake, at the peril of my own invention, all Pageants,
Poesies, for Chimneys, Speeches for the Dukes entertainment,
whensoever and whatsoever; nay I will build, at
mine own charge, an Hospital, to which shall retire all diseased
opinions, all broken Poets, all Prose-men that are fall'n
from small sence, to meer Letters; and it shall be lawful
for a Lawyer, if he be a civil man, though he have undone
others and himself by the language, to retire to this poor
life, and learn to be honest.
Pand.
Sir, ye are very good, and very charitable: ye are
a true pattern for the City Sir.
Merc.
Sir, I doe know sufficiently, their Shop-books cannot
save them, there is a farther end—
Pand.
Oh Sir, much may be done by manuscript.
Mer.
I do confess it Sir, provided still they be Canonical,
and I have some worthy hands set to 'em for probation: but
we forget our selves.
Sir, enter when you please, and all good language
tip your tongue.
Merc.
All that love Learning pray for my good success.
| The Woman-Hater | |