 | The Woman-Hater |  |
Scæna Secunda.
Enter Duke, Arrigo, Lucio.Gond.
All the days good, attend your Lordship.
Duk.
We thank you Gondarino, is it possible?
Can belief lay hold on such a miracle,
To see thee, one that hath cloyst'red up all passion,
Turn'd wilfull votary, and forsworn converse with women,
in company and fair discourse, with the best beauty
of Millain?
Gon.
'Tis true, and if your Grace that hath the sway
Of the whole State, will suffer this lude sex,
These women: to pursue us to our homes,
Not to be prayd, not to be rail'd away,
But they will woe, and dance, and sing,
And, in a manner, looser than they are
By nature (which should seem impossible)
To throw their armes, on our unwilling necks.
Duk.
No more, I can see through your vissore, dissemble it no more.
Doe not I know thou hast us'd all Art,
To work upon the poor simplicitie
Of this yong Maid, that yet hath known none ill?
Thinkest that damnation will fright those that wooe
From oaths, and lies? But yet I think her chast,
And will from thee, before thou shalt apply
Stronger temptations, bear her hence with me.
Gond.
My Lord, I speak not this to gain new grace,
But howsoever you esteeme my words,
My love and dutie will not suffer me
To see you favour such a prostitute,
And I stand by dumb; Without Rack, Torture,
Or Strappado, I unrip my self:
I doe confess I was in company with that pleasing peece
of frailtie, that we call woman; I doe confess after along
and tedious seige, I yielded!
Duke.
Forward.
Gond.
Faith my Lord to come quickly to the point, the
woman you saw with me is a whore; An arrant whore.
Duke.
Was she not Count Valores, Sister?
Gond.
Yes, that Count Valores Sister is naught.
Duk.
Thou dar'st not say so.
Gond.
Not if it be distasting to your Lordship, but give
me freedome, and I dare maintain, she ha's imbrac'd this
body, and grown to it as close, as the hot youthfull vine
to the elme.
Duk.
Twice have I seen her with thee, twice my thoughts
were prompted by mine eye, to hold thy strictness false and
imposterous: Is this your mewing up, your strict retirement,
your bitterness and gaul against that sex? Have I
not heard thee say, thou wouldst sooner meet the Basilisks,
dead doing eye, than meet a woman for an object? Look
it be true you tell me, or by our countries Saint your head
goes off: if thou prove a whore, no womans face shall ever
move me more.
Exeunt.
Manet Gondarino.
Gond.
So, so, 'tis as't should be, are women grown so
mankind? Must they be wooing, I have a plot shall blow
her up, she flyes, she mounts; I'll teach her Ladyship to
dare my fury, I will be known, and fear'd, and more
truely hated of women than an Eunuch.
She's here again, good gaul be patient, for I must dissemble.
Orian.
Now my cold, frosty Lord, my woman-Hater, you
that have sworn an everlasting hate to all our sex: by
my troth good Lord, and as I'm yet a maid, my thought
'twas excellent sport to hear your honor swear out an Alphabet,
chafe nobly like a Generall, kick like a resty Jade,
and make ill faces: Did your good Honor think I was in
love? where did I first begin to take that heat? From those
two radiant eyes, that piercing sight? oh they were lovely, if
the balls stood right; and there's a leg made out of a
dainty staff, Where, the Gods be thanked, there is calf
enough.
Gond.
Pardon him Lady, that is now a convert.
Your beauty, like a Saint hath wrought this wonder.
Oriana.
Alass, ha's it been prick'd at the heart? is the
stomach come down? will it rail no more at women, and
call 'em Divells, she Cats, and Goblins?
Gond.
He that shall marry thee, had better spend the
poor remainder of his days in a dung-barge, for two pence
a week, and find him self.
Down again Spleen, I prethee down again, shall I find
favour Lady? shall at length my true unfeigned penitence
get pardon for my harsh unseasoned follies? I'm no more
an Atheist, no I doe acknowledge, that dread powerfull
Deity, and his all quic'kning heats burn in my breast: oh
be not as I was, hard unrelenting; but as I'm, be partner
of my sires.
Oria.
Sure we have store of Larks, the Skies will not hold
up long, I should have look'd as soon for Frost in the dog
days, or another Inundation, as hop'd this strange conversion
above miracle: let me look upon your Lordship; is
your name Gondarino? are you Millains Generall, that great
Bug-bear bloody-bones, at whose name all women, from
the Lady to the Landress, shake like a cold fit?
Gond.
Good patience help me, this Fever will inrage my
blood again: Madam I'm that man; I'm even he that once
did owe unreconcil'd hate to you, and all that bear the
name of woman: I'm the man that wrong'd your Honor
to the Duke: I'm the man that said you were unchast,
and prostitute, yet I'm he that dare deny all this.
Orian.
Your big Nobility is very merry.
Gond.
Lady 'tis true that I have wrong'd you thus,
And my contrition is as true as that,
Yet have I found a means to make all good again,
I doe beseech your beautie, not for my self,
My merits are yet in conception,
But for your honors safety and my zeal
Retire a while, while I unsay my self unto the Duke,
And cast out that ill Spirit I have possest him with,
I have a house conveniently private.
Ori.
Lord, thou hast wrong'd my innocence, but thy
confession hath gain'd thee faith.
Gond.
By the true honest service, that I owe these eyes strangely,
My meaning is as spotless as my faith.
Oria.
The Duke doubt mine honor? a may judge
'Twill not be long, before I'll be enlarg'd again.
Gond.
A day or two.
Orian.
Mine own servants shall attend me.
Gond.
Your Ladyships command is good.
Orian.
Look you be true.
Exit Oriana.
Gond.
Else let me lose the hopes my soul aspires to: I will
be a scourge to all females in my life, and after my death,
the name of Gondarino, shall be terrible to the mighty women
of the earth; They shall shake at my name, and at the
sound of it, their knees shall knock together; And they shall
run into Nunneries, for they and I are beyond all hope irreconcilable:
for if I could endure an ear with a hole in't, or
a pleated lock, or a bare headed Coachman, that sits like a
sign where great Ladys are to be sold within; agreement
betwixt us, were not to be dispaired of; if I could be
but brought to endure to see women, I would have them
come all once a week, and kiss me, as Witches doe the devill,
in token of homage: I must not live here, I will to the Court,
and there pursue my plot; when it hath took, women shall
stand in awe, but of my look.
Exit
| The Woman-Hater | |