 | The Woman-Hater |  |
Scæna quarta.
Enter Mercer.Mer.
Look to my shop, and if there come ever a Scholar
in black, let him speak with me; we that are shopkeepers
in good trade, are so pester'd, that we can scarce
pick out an hour for our mornings meditation: and howsoever
we are all accounted dull, and common jesting stocks
for your gallants; There are some of us doe not deserve it:
for, for my own part, I doe begin to be given to my book,
I love a scholar with my heart, for questionless there are
merveilous things to be done by Art: why Sir, some of them
will tell you what is become of horses, and silver spoons,
and will make wenches dance naked to their beds: I am yet
unmarried, and because some of our neighbours are said to
be Cuckolds, I will never be married without the consent
of some of these scholars, that know what will come of it.
Enter Pander.
Pan.
Are you busie Sir?
Mer.
Never to you Sir, nor to any of your coat.
Sir is there any thing to be done by Art, concerning the
great heir we talk'd on?
Pan.
Will she, nill she: she shall come running into my
house at the farther corner, in Sa. Marks street, betwixt
three and four.
Mer.
Betwixt three and four? she's brave in cloaths, is she not?
Pan.
O rich! rich! where should I get cloaths to dress
her in? Help me invention: Sir, that her running through the
fear to speak with her less, she shall come in a white wast-coat,
And—
Mer.
What shall she?
Pan.
And perhaps torn stockings, she hath lest her old wont else.
Enter Prentice.
Pren.
Sir my Lord Gond. hath sent you a rare fish head.
Mer.
It comes right, all things sute right with me since
I began to love scholars, you shall have it home with you
against she come: carrie it to this Gentleman's house.
Pan.
The fair white house at the farther corner at S.
Marks street, make haste, I must leave you too Sir, I have
two hours to study; buy a new Accedence, and ply your book,
and you shall want nothing that all the scholars in the Town
can doe for you.
Mer.
Heaven prosper both our studies, what a dull slave
was I before I fell in love with this learning? not worthy
to tread upon the earth, & what fresh hopes it hath put in
to me? I doe hope within this twelve-month to be able by
Art to serve the Court with silks, and not undoe my self;
to trust Knights, and yet get in my money again; to keep
my wife brave, and yet she keep no body else so.
Your Lordship is most honourably welcome in regard of your
Nobility; but most especialy in regard of your scholarship: did
your Lordship come openly?
Count,
Sir this cloak keeps me private, besides no man will
suspect me to be in the company of this Gentleman, with
whom, I will desire you to be acquainted, he may prove a
good customer to you.
Laza.
For plain silks and velvets.
Mer.
Are you scholasticall?
Laza.
Something addicted to the Muses.
Count.
I hope they will not dispute.
Mer.
You have no skill in the black Art.
Enter a Prentice.
Pren.
Sir yonder's a Gentleman enquires hastily for Count Valore,
Count.
For me? what is he?
Pren.
One of your followers my Lord I think.
Count.
Let him come in.
Mer.
Shall I talk with you in private Sir?
Enter a Messenger with a Letter to the Count, he reads.
Count.
Count, come to the Court your business calls you thither,
I will goe, farewell Sir, I will see your silks some other
time: Farewell Lazarillo.
Mer.
Will not your Lordship take a peice of Beef with me?
Count.
Sir I have greater business than eating; I will leave
this Gentleman with you.
Exeunt Count. & Mes.
Laza.
No, no, no, no: now doe I feel that strain'd strugling
within me, that I think I could prophesie.
Mer.
The Gentleman is meditating.
Laza.
Hunger, valour, love, ambition are alike pleasing,
and let our Philosophers say what they will, are one kind
of heat, only hunger is the safest: ambition is apt to fall;
love and valour are not free from dangers; only hunger,
begotten of some old limber Courtier, in pan'de hose, and
nurs'd by an Attourneys wife; now so thriven, that he need
not fear to be of the great Turks guard: is so free from
all quarrels and dangers, so full of hopes, joyes, and ticklings,
that my life is not so dear to me as his acquaintance.
Enter Lazarello's boy.
Boy.
Sir the Fish head is gone.
Laza.
Then be thou henceforth dumb, with thy ill-boding voice.
Farewell, Millain, farewell Noble Duke,
Farewell my fellow Courtiers all, with whom,
I have of yore made many a scrambling meal
In corners, behind Arasses, on stairs;
And in the action oftentimes have spoil'd,
Our Doublets and our Hose with liquid stuff:
Farewell you lusty Archers of the Guard,
To whom I now doe give the bucklers up,
And never more with any of your coat
Will eat for wagers, now you happy be,
When this shall light upon you, think on me:
You sewers, carvers, ushers of the court
Sirnamed gentle for your fair demean,
Here I doe take of you my last farewell,
May you stand stifly in your proper places, and execute your offices aright.
Farewell you Maidens, with your mother eke,
Farewell you courtly Chaplains that be there
All good attend you, may you never more
Marry your Patrons Ladys wayting-woman,
But may you raised be by this my fall
May Lazarillo suffer for you all.
Merc.
Sir I was hearkning to you.
Laz.
I will hear nothing, I will break my knife, the Ensign
of my former happy state, knock out my teeth, have them
hung at a Barbers, and enter into Religion.
Boy.
Why Sir, I think I know whither it is gone.
Laza.
See the rashness of man in his nature, whither? I
do unsay all that I have said, go on, go on: Boy, I humble
my self and follow thee; Farewell Sir.
Mer.
Not so Sir, you shall take a piece of Beef with me.
Laz.
I cannot stay.
Mer.
By my fay but you shall Sir, in regard of your love
to learning, and your skill in the black Art.
Laz.
I do hate learning, and I have no skill in black Art, I would I had.
Mer.
Why your desire is sufficient to me, you shall stay.
Laz.
The most horrible and detested curses that can be
imagined, light upon all the professors of that Art; may
they be drunk, and when they goe to conjure, and reel in
the Circle, may the spirits by them rais'd, tear 'em in pieces,
and hang their quarters on old broken walls and Steeple tops.
Mer.
This speech of yours, shews you to have some skill in
the Science, wherefore in civilitie, I may not suffer you to
depart empty.
Laz.
My stomach is up, I cannot endure it, I will fight
in this quarrell as soon as for my Prince.
Exeunt Omnes.
Room, make way:
Hunger commands, my valour must obey.
| The Woman-Hater | |