An Original Collection of Songs sung at the Theatres Royal, Public Concerts &c. &c. By W. T. Moncrieff |
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THE COUNTY COURT,
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 | An Original Collection of Songs |  |
THE COUNTY COURT,
OR, COBBLERS' CHANCERY.
[_]
Sung by the late Mr. W. H. Williams, Mr. Buckingham, &c. at the Theatres, Concerts, and other Places of Public Amusement, with universal applause. Air—Go to the Devil and shake yourself.
County Courts of Request are Courts much in request'
For so swiftly and surely they practice law's game'
That though Madame Justice is blind, 'tis confess'd,
Yet no one with justice can say she is lame.
There they've causes that no effects often produce—
Though they often effects get without any cause—
And laws without conscience—but that has its use—
For sometimes they've conscience without any laws.
[OMITTED]
For so swiftly and surely they practice law's game'
That though Madame Justice is blind, 'tis confess'd,
Yet no one with justice can say she is lame.
There they've causes that no effects often produce—
Though they often effects get without any cause—
And laws without conscience—but that has its use—
For sometimes they've conscience without any laws.
182
She as sweet is as Sugar
And like I should to hug her—
But find me a rhyme for Porringer,
And I'll give you, for an Orange, her.
And like I should to hug her—
But find me a rhyme for Porringer,
And I'll give you, for an Orange, her.
County Courts of Request, are Courts much in request,
For so swiftly and surely they practise Law's game,
That though Madam Justice is blind 'tis confest,
Yet no one with justice can say she is lame.
For so swiftly and surely they practise Law's game,
That though Madam Justice is blind 'tis confest,
Yet no one with justice can say she is lame.
County Courts of Request, oh, they free are to all—
The Cobbler his Chancery finds them to boot—
The Plaintiff, Defendant, all keep up the ball,
They the Bookseller bind, while the Tailor they suit.
There you may be Witness, and Counsel yourself—
You may plead if you please, and your cause is soon tried:
While all parties laugh o'er their matters of pelf,
The losers excepted—who laugh the wrong side.
[OMITTED]
The Cobbler his Chancery finds them to boot—
The Plaintiff, Defendant, all keep up the ball,
They the Bookseller bind, while the Tailor they suit.
There you may be Witness, and Counsel yourself—
You may plead if you please, and your cause is soon tried:
While all parties laugh o'er their matters of pelf,
The losers excepted—who laugh the wrong side.
184
Now, Buggins, stand back,
And Kittywhack, pray hold your clack!
Your debt is one pound ten, my lad,
To which twelve shillings costs we add—
Give it us, you'll find it best—
The County Court makes this request.
Kittywhack.
And Kittywhack, pray hold your clack!
Your debt is one pound ten, my lad,
To which twelve shillings costs we add—
Give it us, you'll find it best—
The County Court makes this request.
But Justice, my Lord—
185
In vain of Justice here you talk,
Give us the money, sir, and walk!
County Courts of Request, &c.
[OMITTED]
187
Hum! this is a very ticklish case,
And would puzzle a Judge in another place.
Well, I shall give you a verdict in verse,
Which I shall make very terse.
Stand forward, Mrs. Mc.Ginnis, and pay attention to the Court.
She made a shift to spoil your sheet, ne'er doubt it
So you must make a shift to do without it—
A light supper, too, she got you, as you said,
So she must pay you nothing, and you'll be lightly paid!
Clear the Court!
County Courts, &c.
| An Original Collection of Songs | |