An Original Collection of Songs sung at the Theatres Royal, Public Concerts &c. &c. By W. T. Moncrieff |
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THE GENERAL DEALER. |
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 | An Original Collection of Songs |  |
THE GENERAL DEALER.
Mr. Hardenbrass Huxtable, nam'd,
I follow each calling and trade,
As a general dealer, long fam'd,
Of my shop, I've a catalogue made.
I corns cut, and bleed, too, with care,
Collect the land tax, supply leeches,
Make wine and strong drenches prepare,
In tripe deal, and sell leather breeches.
Then come to my shop, for 'tis fam'd,
There's no one shall use you genteeler,
I'm Hardenbrass Huxtable, nam'd—
Factotum, and general dealer.
I follow each calling and trade,
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Of my shop, I've a catalogue made.
I corns cut, and bleed, too, with care,
Collect the land tax, supply leeches,
Make wine and strong drenches prepare,
In tripe deal, and sell leather breeches.
Then come to my shop, for 'tis fam'd,
There's no one shall use you genteeler,
I'm Hardenbrass Huxtable, nam'd—
Factotum, and general dealer.
Bell-ringer, I deafnesses cure,
Tea and coffee I sell—deal in slops,
I bugs destroy—houses insure,
Dress hair in high style, and make mops;
Vestry clerk, I clean shoes on demand,
Asses milk I supply, too, beside;
Salt and sugar I sell, deal in sand,
Banns publish, and mousetraps provide.
Then come to my shop, &c.
Tea and coffee I sell—deal in slops,
I bugs destroy—houses insure,
Dress hair in high style, and make mops;
Vestry clerk, I clean shoes on demand,
Asses milk I supply, too, beside;
Salt and sugar I sell, deal in sand,
Banns publish, and mousetraps provide.
Then come to my shop, &c.
I gentlemen shave, and I mangle,
Mend pumps, and teach dancing as well,
Sell all sorts of baits for the angle,
And in catching cock sparrows excel.
Lend newspapers, stray cattle pound.
Practise grindery, sharpen your shears,
Am cryer for twenty miles round,
Sing psalms, too, and pierce ladies' ears.
Then come to my shop, &c.
Mend pumps, and teach dancing as well,
Sell all sorts of baits for the angle,
And in catching cock sparrows excel.
Lend newspapers, stray cattle pound.
Practise grindery, sharpen your shears,
Am cryer for twenty miles round,
Sing psalms, too, and pierce ladies' ears.
Then come to my shop, &c.
Mathematics I know—I'm not joking!
Am a dealer in dickey birds' seed;
Cure chimnies, sell short-cut for smoking,
Ring pigs, and teach children to read.
Of crockery I've quantum suff,
Each night I've sheepsheads, cold and warm,
Rat-catcher—I deal, too, in snuff,
Sell med'cines, and funerals perform.
Then come to my shop, &c.
Am a dealer in dickey birds' seed;
Cure chimnies, sell short-cut for smoking,
Ring pigs, and teach children to read.
Of crockery I've quantum suff,
Each night I've sheepsheads, cold and warm,
Rat-catcher—I deal, too, in snuff,
Sell med'cines, and funerals perform.
Then come to my shop, &c.
35
I've for writing an evening school,
When muffins and crumpets I bake,
Can let you have coals from the pool,
In exchange your old iron, too, take.
I marine stores and kitchen stuff buy,
By the yard, sell you butter for tea,
Every day new laid eggs I supply.
All furnish'd (Heaven willing!) by me.
Then come to my shop, &c.
When muffins and crumpets I bake,
Can let you have coals from the pool,
In exchange your old iron, too, take.
I marine stores and kitchen stuff buy,
By the yard, sell you butter for tea,
Every day new laid eggs I supply.
All furnish'd (Heaven willing!) by me.
Then come to my shop, &c.
Nota bene—I sell ale and porter,
And cider and vinegar brew—
Light lamps, by the year or the quarter,
And let lodgings for single men, do.
Geography taught in two courses
For two pence cut hair by the acre;
Trim dogs go an errands, shoe horses,
With sausages by the real maker.
Then come to my shop, &c.
And cider and vinegar brew—
Light lamps, by the year or the quarter,
And let lodgings for single men, do.
Geography taught in two courses
For two pence cut hair by the acre;
Trim dogs go an errands, shoe horses,
With sausages by the real maker.
Then come to my shop, &c.
I music provide, too, for balls,
In playing the fiddle, the first,
Buy hare-skins, sell bonnets and shawls,
Make wills, and contract for your dust.
Of eclipses a certain revealer,
You'll find that I ready and just am,
In all things a general dealer,
So I hope you'll all give me your cnstom.
Then come to my shop, &c.
In playing the fiddle, the first,
Buy hare-skins, sell bonnets and shawls,
Make wills, and contract for your dust.
Of eclipses a certain revealer,
You'll find that I ready and just am,
In all things a general dealer,
So I hope you'll all give me your cnstom.
Then come to my shop, &c.
| An Original Collection of Songs | |