University of Virginia Library

[Precious—good manners! for indeed]

Precious—good manners! for indeed
From most men they are all we need;
An easy way to come and go.
Still, it is but a way, you know.

[Bland with the great, and cool with the small]

Bland with the great, and cool with the small,
Flowers for a few, and thorns for the rest;
Better be human with one and all,
The broad green tree, I love that best.

[Some are so highly polish'd, they display]

Some are so highly polish'd, they display
Only your own face when you turn their way.

[French-polishing manners your trade is]

French-polishing manners your trade is,
You smile at my clumsy short-coming;
You're very polite to the ladies,—
But are you respectful to women?

[Democracy may]

Democracy may
Smooth manners spoil;
Yet we, who pay
Such a sum for oil,
Have we much to boast of, pray?

[Mean is the man (so John Bull thinks)]

Mean is the man (so John Bull thinks)
Who cringes, crouches, blinks, and slinks,
Nay, uses mere civility,
Unless he profit well thereby.

[Old England is the only place]

Old England is the only place
Where rudeness counts as no disgrace;
Bold Britons courtesy disdain,
Unless they have some end to gain;
A title though, no matter what,
Can jerk the British hand to hat;
And British voices loud huzzay
Newspaper heroes of the day.
But would you know what truly thrills
Our soul with awe, with wonder fills?
Observe that plain and common man,
Like you or me; gaze while you can.
“Why so?” A solemn whisper sounds,—
“He's worth two hundred thousand pounds!”

[Not men and women in an Irish street]

Not men and women in an Irish street,
But Catholics and Protestants you meet.

[The Scotchman is the noblest thing created.]

The Scotchman is the noblest thing created.
(Scotchmen, confess that ye are justly rated.)

[An Englishman has a country]

An Englishman has a country,
A Scotchman has two;
An Irishman has none at all,
And doesn't know what to do.

[Contempt, frivolity]

Contempt, frivolity,
With all you say agree.

[While we ourselves are seeing and thinking]

While we ourselves are seeing and thinking
We fancy others are dozing and blinking.

[To think all you say, is but candour]

To think all you say, is but candour;
To say all you think, would be slander.

[One thing I very much admire—]

One thing I very much admire—
That liars should believe a liar.

[Say fifty fine things; then let fall]

Say fifty fine things; then let fall
One careless,—this outweighs them all.
“Ah, ha! oh, ho!” away they run,
Forget the fifty, report the one.

[Go where you're expected—]

Go where you're expected—
You'll not find yourself neglected.
Go where you're not ask'd—
Luck's tried, and sometimes task'd.

[“Vile money!” True. Let's have enough]

“Vile money!” True. Let's have enough,
To save our thinking of such stuff.

[Who speaks to a crowd]

Who speaks to a crowd
Should be plain, brief and loud.

[I dreamt I went to hell one night.]

I dreamt I went to hell one night.
The little devils were impolite.
But Satan with the sweetest air
Bow'd me to a redhot chair.

[Intolerance may be, no doubt]

Intolerance may be, no doubt,
Virtue; but Virtue wrong side out.

[So tangled are we, take any man]

So tangled are we, take any man,
Choose how to think of him—so you can.
You are justly precious in this one's sight;
That one despises you, and he's right.

[The wise must keep open their eyes]

The wise must keep open their eyes;
Not expect the unwise to get wise.

[Clothes will not warm a shape of stone or wood]

Clothes will not warm a shape of stone or wood,
Nor precepts make a blockhead wise or good.

Sportsman.

Plenty of game in Eden, but no gun.
Life in an Eden would be poorish fun.

[All stupid folk are self-complacent too]

All stupid folk are self-complacent too,
Because they never see the harm they do.

[No matter how you think, and but little how you act]

No matter how you think, and but little how you act,
If you're always well provided with flattery and tact.

[A blunder of the high-refined—]

A blunder of the high-refined—
To gauge too subtly coarse mankind.

[Democrat—Aristocrat—]

Democrat—Aristocrat—
Lord save us from this! the Devil take that!
Away with all “crats!” we won't be cratted;
And as for Public Opinion—drat it!

[Would you treat all you meet as brothers and sisters?]

Would you treat all you meet as brothers and sisters?
Nay, nay, hold away! much touch raises blisters.
Keep place, leave space, beware of too-near;
To each orb, each unit, its atmosphere.

[You'll hear a Tiger growl]

You'll hear a Tiger growl,
But you can't beware of a Fool,
You'll hear a Serpent hiss;
A Fool is worse than this.
A Fool when you espy,
With trembling hasten by.
A Fool within your house
Is deadly dangerous.
A Fool, though good and civil,
Is darkness and the devil!

[With women and men of all natures and stations]

With women and men of all natures and stations
I fain would have lived in noble relations;
But baffled in this, and attraction still strong,
Ignoble alliances oft drew me wrong.
Yet, Allah be praised! howe'er I might roam,
I return'd to the Best, there only at home.

[Society's pretence and prejudice]

Society's pretence and prejudice,
Stupidity and lies, harsh code half shamm'd,
Invents much pseudo-vice: for all such “vice”
Society be damn'd!