Miscellaneous writings of the late Dr. Maginn :: :: University of Virginia Library

Through Britain's isle as Hymen strayed
Upon his ambling pony,
With Buller sage, in wig arrayed,
To act as cicerone,
To them full many a spouse forlorn
Complained of guineas squandered,
Of visage torn and breeches worn,
And thus his godship pondered—
Oh, the Crabstick! the green immortal Crabstick!
I'll ensure
A lasting cure
In Russia's native Crabstick!

With magic wand he struck the earth,
And straight his conjuration
Gave that same wholesome sapling birth,
The husband's consolation;
Dispense, quoth he, thou legal man,
This new-discover'd treasure,
And let thy thumb's capacious span
Henceforward fix its measure.
Oh, the Crabstick! the green immortal Crabstick!
Long essay'd
On jilt and jade
Be Buller's magic Crabstick!

The olive branch, Minerva's boon,
Betokens peace and quiet,
But 'tis sage Hymen's gift alone
Can quell domestic riot;
For 'tis a maxim long maintain'd
By doctors and logicians,
That peace is most securely gain'd
By armed politicians.
Oh, the Crabstick! the green immortal Crabstick!
Its vigorous shoot
Quells all dispute,
The wonder-working Crabstick!

314

In idleness and youthful hours,
When graver thoughts seem stupid,
Men fly to rose and myrtle bowers
To worship tiny Cupid;
But spliced for life, and wiser grown,
Dog-sick of sighs and rhyming.
They haunt the crab-tree bower alone,
The leafy shrine of Hymen.
Oh, the Crabstick! the green immortal Crabstick!
Love bestows
The useless rose,
But Hymen gives the Crabstick!