University of Virginia Library

THE DEVIL IN PARLIAMENT.

Ho, the Devil rose up, like Lord Coningtower's cup
To his lips, with as graceful an attitude;
And he dropped in to dine with Sir William at nine,
In the midst of his prettiest platitude.
He was modernised quite, and fresh painted all white,
With an orchid of cost in his buttonhole,
He had manners of mark, good enough for the park,
And looked cool as the frigidest mutton-hole—
From New Zealand, you guess—with an easy address,
And a way that you could but call affable.
In Church matters and State not a bit out of date,
And with anecdotes pointed and laughable.
Then the two (a sweet pair) with an innocent air,
To the House toddled in for some oratory;
There was Joseph in power with his eyeglass and flower,
And the Premier from his Laboratory.
Then the famous “First Whig,” half a Blue-book, half prig,
Took his place with the others in Parliament;
Though the brewers looked black, for he was on their track,
And he knew all that d——d foreign barley meant.
But he called himself now, with a Radical brow,
A pure Socialist plunging in politics;
For he followed that card of conceits by the yard,
And the timepiece of party's new folly ticks.
Ah, the Devil was apt with his reasons, and tapt
Sweet quotations and took just the quiddity;
He was gallant and good to Tim Healy, who stood
On the “right of his private stupidity.”
He had precedents ripe, and as pat as a stripe,
For his service and all who were entering;
Ready-made little saws, and most wonderful laws,
Far ahead of the wildest Dissentering.
He gave many a hint, not yet published in print,
To the pets of his latest Democracy;
And a sinister heat, for each ill-gotten seat
Of his partners in gambling and Stock-cracy.
But sometimes he would trail the least tip of his tail,
Just to show himself still the old gentleman;
With the tiniest whiff of the brimstone to sniff,
Which encouraged his peaflour-and-lentil man.
Till he started at last from a vision aghast,
And upset dear Sir William's own suavity,
While he tumbled down flat upon Morley's best hat—
Hiding him in its awful concavity.
Then he bolted apace from Lord Rupert's red face
(Which he thought was the judgment fire beckoning),
And his terrible nose like the trump of doom's close,
But left William to pay for the reckoning.