Nuptial Dialogues and Debates Or, An Useful Prospect of the felicities and discomforts of a marry'd life, Incident to all Degrees, from the Throne to the Cottage. Containing, Many great Examples of Love, Piety, Prudence, Justice, and all the excellent Vertues, that largely contribute to the true Happiness of Wedlock. Drawn from the Lives of our own Princes, Nobility, and other Quality, in Prosperity and Adversity. Also the fantastical Humours of all Fops, Coquets, Bullies, Jilts, fond Fools, and Wantons; old Fumblers, barren Ladies, Misers, parsimonious Wives, Ninnies, Sluts and Termagants; drunken Husbands, toaping Gossips, schismatical Precisians, and devout Hypocrites of all sorts. Digested into serious, merry, and satyrical Poems, wherein both Sexes, in all Stations, are reminded of their Duty, and taught how to be happy in a Matrimonial State. In Two Volumes. By the Author of the London Spy [i.e. Edward Ward] |
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| XII. | DIALOGUE XII. Between a Town-bred Gentleman, and his Country-Bride,
concerning London, which he had abandon'd for the Pleasures of a rural Life.
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 | Nuptial Dialogues and Debates |  |
DIALOGUE XII. Between a Town-bred Gentleman, and his Country-Bride, concerning London, which he had abandon'd for the Pleasures of a rural Life.
Lady.Since London is a Place of such Renown,
And Crowds of well-bred Beauties grace the Town,
Which, by Report abounds with all Delights,
That can improve our Days, or bless our Nights,
How came you thus to chuse a Country Wife,
And quit such Pleasures, for a rural Life?
Husband.
The Town's a famous Lab'rinth, I agree;
But still too noisy and too lewd for me.
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As if just dropt from some impending Cloud;
But when they're Wives, the Custom of the Place
Soon makes 'em Shrews, or tempts 'em to be base,
If chaste, they're proud, and triumph o'er our Love;
If kind and fair, they too licentious prove:
Who therefore with a dang'rous Snake would lie,
Because her Skin seems beauteous to the Eye?
Or to his nuptial Bed a Nettle bring
That knows before hand how the Weed will sting?
Lady.
But where such Numbers of the Fair delight,
With their prevailing Charms, the wand'ring Sight,
It argues much ill Nature to accuse
The whole, or that you wanted Sense to chuse.
All could not sure deserve your Disesteem,
By plunging into Vice's muddy Stream:
Those in the Paths of Vertue strictly bred,
Fear to transgress, and scorn to be misled;
But chaste and pious, whether Maid or Wife,
Are careful to preserve a modest Life.
Had you convers'd with these, you would have found
Your severe Censure had but little Ground:
But you have giv'n me Reason to suspect
You chose the Bad, and did the Good reject;
And from the vain Delights you us'd to taste
Among the Worst, judge hardly of the Best.
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Suspect that all the same ill Courses take;
For groundless Censures and Distrusts arise
Too often from our own Infirmities.
Husband.
I am not so severe, to think that all
Within the Reach of my Reflexions fall;
But this Opinion I have long possest,
That most are wanton, and but few are chaste;
For Vice abounds in Cities more than Grace,
And bad Example ev'ry Day takes Place:
Nor do I mean the Fair alone should bear
The Scandal, since the Men deserve a Share:
Both are deceitful, and alike delude
Each other to be careless of their Good.
The Ladies dress to charm the wanton Eye,
And from their Brows let Swarms of Cupids fly;
With wishful Looks, and study'd Smiles invite
Each am'rous Libertine to Love's Delight.
Within the Reach of my Reflexions fall;
But this Opinion I have long possest,
That most are wanton, and but few are chaste;
For Vice abounds in Cities more than Grace,
And bad Example ev'ry Day takes Place:
Nor do I mean the Fair alone should bear
The Scandal, since the Men deserve a Share:
Both are deceitful, and alike delude
Each other to be careless of their Good.
The Ladies dress to charm the wanton Eye,
And from their Brows let Swarms of Cupids fly;
With wishful Looks, and study'd Smiles invite
Each am'rous Libertine to Love's Delight.
The lustful Hypocrite to Church repairs,
In hopes to save her Credit by her Pray'rs;
Makes Assignations walking in or out,
And hides her Shame by seeming so devout.
So sacred Villains, when they mean to act
Some tragick Part, by pious Numbers backt,
Crave Heaven's Aid, ere they attempt the Fact.
In hopes to save her Credit by her Pray'rs;
Makes Assignations walking in or out,
And hides her Shame by seeming so devout.
So sacred Villains, when they mean to act
Some tragick Part, by pious Numbers backt,
Crave Heaven's Aid, ere they attempt the Fact.
The airy Madam, more polite and gay,
Rattles each Night in Splendor to the Play;
With Gems or Bristol-Stones bedecks her Hair,
In hopes their Lustre may command a Pair:
Tossing her Head, and smiling does she sit,
Wishing to charm some Stallion in the Pit;
Gives here a Bow, and there a gentle Drop,
Whilst her unthinking Cuckold minds his Shop;
Picks up some Spark, just takes a Flirt, and then,
Prepar'd with twenty Lies, sneaks Home by ten.
For crafty Knaves, or the intreaguing Jilt,
Ne'er want a Cov'ring to conceal their Guilt.
Rattles each Night in Splendor to the Play;
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In hopes their Lustre may command a Pair:
Tossing her Head, and smiling does she sit,
Wishing to charm some Stallion in the Pit;
Gives here a Bow, and there a gentle Drop,
Whilst her unthinking Cuckold minds his Shop;
Picks up some Spark, just takes a Flirt, and then,
Prepar'd with twenty Lies, sneaks Home by ten.
For crafty Knaves, or the intreaguing Jilt,
Ne'er want a Cov'ring to conceal their Guilt.
The honour'd Lady, who frequents the Court,
Taught by Example there to love the Sport,
Steals from her Servants, quits her gilded Coach,
And mobb'd in Hack, pursues each new Debauch,
Drives to some House where Chocolate is sold,
There meets a younger Brother, if she's old,
Who gives her what she wants, and takes her Gold.
So wealthy Fools, misled by fond Desire,
Give solid Worth for Trifles they admire.
Taught by Example there to love the Sport,
Steals from her Servants, quits her gilded Coach,
And mobb'd in Hack, pursues each new Debauch,
Drives to some House where Chocolate is sold,
There meets a younger Brother, if she's old,
Who gives her what she wants, and takes her Gold.
So wealthy Fools, misled by fond Desire,
Give solid Worth for Trifles they admire.
The Daughter bred beneath her Parents Care,
Proud to behold their Progeny so fair,
Learns of her Mother early to be naught,
And practises betimes what Mamma taught;
Finds means, as soon as ripe, to quench her Flame,
And grows too crafty for the careful Dame;
Ne'er wants a Salvo, or a sham Pretence,
To cloak her Guilt with seeming Innocence;
But when reprov'd, suspected, or accus'd,
Deceives her by the Blinds the Old one us'd.
So forward Gamesters oft, at cunning Play,
Out-wit the Knaves that taught 'em first the Way.
The fine kept Madam sooths her gen'rous Cull,
Dreins his 'Scrutore, as well as Veins, when full;
Takes Pains to bubble her admiring Friend,
That what he gets, she may on others spend;
Ne'er wants a broad-back'd Bully, to suffice
Her craving Lust, which daily needs supplies;
For as she's kept to quench her Lover's Flame,
The same Ambition fires the wanton Dame;
She bribes some brawny Spark to be her Slave,
That like her Keeper, she a Drudge may have:
Both are inclin'd to equal Lust and Folly,
The Cully keeps the Whore, the Whore the Bully.
So mighty Kings, who triumph o'er their Slaves,
Drein the poor Fools, to gratify the Knaves.
Proud to behold their Progeny so fair,
Learns of her Mother early to be naught,
And practises betimes what Mamma taught;
Finds means, as soon as ripe, to quench her Flame,
And grows too crafty for the careful Dame;
Ne'er wants a Salvo, or a sham Pretence,
To cloak her Guilt with seeming Innocence;
But when reprov'd, suspected, or accus'd,
Deceives her by the Blinds the Old one us'd.
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Out-wit the Knaves that taught 'em first the Way.
The fine kept Madam sooths her gen'rous Cull,
Dreins his 'Scrutore, as well as Veins, when full;
Takes Pains to bubble her admiring Friend,
That what he gets, she may on others spend;
Ne'er wants a broad-back'd Bully, to suffice
Her craving Lust, which daily needs supplies;
For as she's kept to quench her Lover's Flame,
The same Ambition fires the wanton Dame;
She bribes some brawny Spark to be her Slave,
That like her Keeper, she a Drudge may have:
Both are inclin'd to equal Lust and Folly,
The Cully keeps the Whore, the Whore the Bully.
So mighty Kings, who triumph o'er their Slaves,
Drein the poor Fools, to gratify the Knaves.
The common Punk, quite destitute of Grace,
Exposes in the Streets her brazen Face;
Shews by her wanton Air, her odious Trade,
Juts with her Bum, and tosses up her Head;
Draws in young Cullies by her youthful Charms,
And with her Looks, invites them to her Arms;
Elbows each Man she meets, that they may find,
By her kind Jostles, how she stands inclin'd:
Thus sins at Random, till the painful Pox
Brings her at last to a repenting Flux;
Which soon deprives her of her charming Face,
And leaves her full as ugly as she's base.
So Trees, that once their verdant Beauty spread
With Light'ning struck, look wither'd and decay'd.
Exposes in the Streets her brazen Face;
Shews by her wanton Air, her odious Trade,
Juts with her Bum, and tosses up her Head;
Draws in young Cullies by her youthful Charms,
And with her Looks, invites them to her Arms;
Elbows each Man she meets, that they may find,
By her kind Jostles, how she stands inclin'd:
Thus sins at Random, till the painful Pox
Brings her at last to a repenting Flux;
Which soon deprives her of her charming Face,
And leaves her full as ugly as she's base.
So Trees, that once their verdant Beauty spread
With Light'ning struck, look wither'd and decay'd.
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The vertuous Ladies, those enchanting few,
Secure their Beauty by the Pride they shew;
Their scornful Looks they scatter as they move,
And seemingly defy the Pow'r of Love;
Too great a Value on their Beauty place,
And think their Charms too bright for Man's Embrace.
This Lover they refuse, and that despise,
And without Fortunes, would to Coaches rise;
This Spark's too clownish, that too much a Fop;
T'other's beneath 'em, 'cause he keeps a Shop.
Thus their Pride soars above their low Degree,
And aims at nothing less than Quality;
Till gazing in the Glass, at length they find
Their Years advanc'd, their youthful Charms declin'd,
And then, repenting they have prov'd so shy,
Good-natur'd grow, and with the next comply;
For she that is too coy, when young and gay,
Forsakes her Vertue as her Charms decay.
Women, tho' ne'er so chaste and modest, dread
The odious Name of old and wither'd Maid;
And tho' they long have slighted Man's Embrace,
Yet when they find their Beauty fades a pace,
They'll marry mean, or sin in spite of Grace.
So craving Dealers, who, thro' Avarice,
Withstand their Market, always low'r their Price:
Those that reject good Offers surely find
Repenting Folly follows close behind.
Secure their Beauty by the Pride they shew;
Their scornful Looks they scatter as they move,
And seemingly defy the Pow'r of Love;
Too great a Value on their Beauty place,
And think their Charms too bright for Man's Embrace.
This Lover they refuse, and that despise,
And without Fortunes, would to Coaches rise;
This Spark's too clownish, that too much a Fop;
T'other's beneath 'em, 'cause he keeps a Shop.
Thus their Pride soars above their low Degree,
And aims at nothing less than Quality;
Till gazing in the Glass, at length they find
Their Years advanc'd, their youthful Charms declin'd,
And then, repenting they have prov'd so shy,
Good-natur'd grow, and with the next comply;
For she that is too coy, when young and gay,
Forsakes her Vertue as her Charms decay.
Women, tho' ne'er so chaste and modest, dread
The odious Name of old and wither'd Maid;
And tho' they long have slighted Man's Embrace,
Yet when they find their Beauty fades a pace,
They'll marry mean, or sin in spite of Grace.
So craving Dealers, who, thro' Avarice,
Withstand their Market, always low'r their Price:
Those that reject good Offers surely find
Repenting Folly follows close behind.
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These are the London Ladies, who display
Their Smiles, and dress so airy and so gay;
Some to enslave us to their awful Charms,
Others to tempt us to their sinful Arms;
All looking upwards, aiming with their Darts
To wound the Rich, and conquer wealthy Hearts;
For, gay Apparel and a beauteous Face
Gives Punk a Title to a Lord's Embrace,
Whilst Ale-wives Daughters, bred at Hackney-Schools,
Are Tap-lash Fortunes for the trading Fools;
For Money, not Desert, prefers the Maids;
From Chandler's Shop, to some rich Merchant's Bed,
Whilst Beauty wanting Bags, must range the Town,
And exercise her Charms for half a Crown:
Who then would marry, where the fairest Dames
Will quench, for such a Sum, our am'rous Flames?
Who need a Wife, that ev'ry Moment meets
Such Swarms of courteous Ladies in the Streets?
Their Smiles, and dress so airy and so gay;
Some to enslave us to their awful Charms,
Others to tempt us to their sinful Arms;
All looking upwards, aiming with their Darts
To wound the Rich, and conquer wealthy Hearts;
For, gay Apparel and a beauteous Face
Gives Punk a Title to a Lord's Embrace,
Whilst Ale-wives Daughters, bred at Hackney-Schools,
Are Tap-lash Fortunes for the trading Fools;
For Money, not Desert, prefers the Maids;
From Chandler's Shop, to some rich Merchant's Bed,
Whilst Beauty wanting Bags, must range the Town,
And exercise her Charms for half a Crown:
Who then would marry, where the fairest Dames
Will quench, for such a Sum, our am'rous Flames?
Who need a Wife, that ev'ry Moment meets
Such Swarms of courteous Ladies in the Streets?
Lady.
Since Town-bred Beauties are so wond'rous kind,
And to the Sports of Love so much inclin'd,
Those who enjoy their Favours, must, of Course,
Be full as wicked as the Fair, or worse,
Because they first by Flatt'ries draw them in,
And after hire 'em to repeat the Sin;
Therefore the Tempters must be more to blame,
Than those they bring to Misery and Shame.
Since you in Town were bred, 'tis well, my Dear,
If you had Grace to keep your Conscience clear;
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And if but ask'd, so forward to agree,
'Tis hard for Man to fly their wanton Charms,
And to escape their fond bewitching Arms;
For Youth and Beauty promise such Delights,
That few are backward, when the Fair invites.
However, I despise a jealous Breast,
Or do I want to have your Faults confest:
But since the London Dames and Ladies prove
So free, so forward, and so apt to love,
Pray let your Tongue, with equal Freedom, tell
How far your Sex's Vertues ours excel;
For if the Women are so loosely given,
The Men, I fear, will make the Ballance even.
Husband.
Since you that live retir'd, delight to hear
A Hist'ry of the Town and People there,
Without Abuse or Flatt'ry, I'll be free
To satisfy your vain Curiosity.
A Hist'ry of the Town and People there,
Without Abuse or Flatt'ry, I'll be free
To satisfy your vain Curiosity.
The crafty Cit puts on a pious Face,
And cloaks his Knav'ries with pretended Grace,
Thinks nothing sinful that improves his Store,
And knows no wicked State, but to be poor,
Expensive Evils he abhors the most,
And measures all Transgressions by their Cost;
But ev'ry gainful Sin he reconciles,
And finds no Harm in profitable Ills;
Each golden Vice he silently adores,
But those which waste our Substance, he abjures.
Wealth is his Aim, which he obtains by Fraud;
Religion is his Cloak, and Gold his God;
Cunning his Study, Penury his Care,
In Hopes, before he dies, to be Lord-May'r.
Thus slaves and scrapes, that he, when old, may see
One splendid Year of Pride and Gluttony.
And cloaks his Knav'ries with pretended Grace,
Thinks nothing sinful that improves his Store,
And knows no wicked State, but to be poor,
Expensive Evils he abhors the most,
And measures all Transgressions by their Cost;
But ev'ry gainful Sin he reconciles,
And finds no Harm in profitable Ills;
Each golden Vice he silently adores,
But those which waste our Substance, he abjures.
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Religion is his Cloak, and Gold his God;
Cunning his Study, Penury his Care,
In Hopes, before he dies, to be Lord-May'r.
Thus slaves and scrapes, that he, when old, may see
One splendid Year of Pride and Gluttony.
The Man of Title, pow'rful in the State,
Unjust as wealthy, haughty as he's great,
Who from the publick Stock in private gleans,
And grows too rich by hidden Ways and Means;
His Vices, tho' they're many, lie unseen,
Honour and Wealth his Frauds and Pleasures skreen,
Whores he may keep, be treacherous and lewd,
Yet, if he's Great, he must, alas! be good;
For neither Priest or Poet dare reprove
Revenge, Ingratitude, adult'rous Love,
Lest the harsh Satyr should at Court take place,
And disoblige his Lordship, or his Grace.
So when a King makes some sweet Sin his Choice,
'Tis dang'rous then to lash that single Vice,
Lest the Invective at the Throne should squint,
And the grave Robe should say, There's Treason in't.
Unjust as wealthy, haughty as he's great,
Who from the publick Stock in private gleans,
And grows too rich by hidden Ways and Means;
His Vices, tho' they're many, lie unseen,
Honour and Wealth his Frauds and Pleasures skreen,
Whores he may keep, be treacherous and lewd,
Yet, if he's Great, he must, alas! be good;
For neither Priest or Poet dare reprove
Revenge, Ingratitude, adult'rous Love,
Lest the harsh Satyr should at Court take place,
And disoblige his Lordship, or his Grace.
So when a King makes some sweet Sin his Choice,
'Tis dang'rous then to lash that single Vice,
Lest the Invective at the Throne should squint,
And the grave Robe should say, There's Treason in't.
The youthful Gentlemen turn Fops and Beaus,
And seem less proud of Merit, than of Cloaths;
Slight female Vertue for ensnaring Looks,
And study fine new Faces, more than Books;
In Taverns and at Plays their Time exhaust,
And love to sin at an excessive Cost;
Are fond to enter into am'rous Leagues,
But break 'em ev'ry Day for new Intreagues;
Fall fresh in Love with ev'ry Jilt they see,
True to no Mistress, but Variety.
Marriage they ridicule, and all its Joys;
That, and Religion, they alike despise,
And think it Wit to banter and deride
What's prais'd by all the sober World beside.
Thus they rake on, and range the sinful Town,
Till by their Vices they infirm are grown;
Then, willing to comply, each seeks a Wife,
When past the Pleasures of a nuptial Life;
So that when once their buxom Ladies find
Their beauish Husbands feeble and unkind,
And that they're doom'd to languish by the Sides
Of those that need old Nurses more than Brides,
They find out ways to make themselves amends,
And what the Spouse neglects, supply by Friends.
Thus he who, for the Sake of Change, delays
His Marriage, till his youthful Strength decays,
And then betrays the kind expecting Maid,
Or buxom Widow, to his nuptial Bed,
In Justice ought to find his injur'd Bride
Worse than he fear'd she'd prove before he try'd;
For he who does, by flatt'ring Arts, allure
The jolly Dame to love, should first be sure
He wants no Balsam to perform the Cure.
And seem less proud of Merit, than of Cloaths;
Slight female Vertue for ensnaring Looks,
And study fine new Faces, more than Books;
In Taverns and at Plays their Time exhaust,
And love to sin at an excessive Cost;
Are fond to enter into am'rous Leagues,
But break 'em ev'ry Day for new Intreagues;
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True to no Mistress, but Variety.
Marriage they ridicule, and all its Joys;
That, and Religion, they alike despise,
And think it Wit to banter and deride
What's prais'd by all the sober World beside.
Thus they rake on, and range the sinful Town,
Till by their Vices they infirm are grown;
Then, willing to comply, each seeks a Wife,
When past the Pleasures of a nuptial Life;
So that when once their buxom Ladies find
Their beauish Husbands feeble and unkind,
And that they're doom'd to languish by the Sides
Of those that need old Nurses more than Brides,
They find out ways to make themselves amends,
And what the Spouse neglects, supply by Friends.
Thus he who, for the Sake of Change, delays
His Marriage, till his youthful Strength decays,
And then betrays the kind expecting Maid,
Or buxom Widow, to his nuptial Bed,
In Justice ought to find his injur'd Bride
Worse than he fear'd she'd prove before he try'd;
For he who does, by flatt'ring Arts, allure
The jolly Dame to love, should first be sure
He wants no Balsam to perform the Cure.
Some lustful Miscreants there are, that fly
The Charms of Beauty, and their Pow'r defy;
Sight all the Favours of the soothing Fair,
And from the Laws of Nature vilely err;
Doat on themselves, and quench each others Flame,
By odious Means, that scarce can bear a Name;
Practise such Sins, which, should the World embrace.
Must put a speedy End to human Race.
Thus hating Women, they pursue that Vice
Which in old Sodom had its wicked Rise;
Who, by the same, provok'd the God that's just
To pour down fiery Vengeance on their Lust;
Yet Sins we see, which long have bury'd lain
Beneath the heaviest Judgments, rise again,
From shameless Libertines receive new Growth,
Who dare good Heaven to shew its farther Wrath.
The Charms of Beauty, and their Pow'r defy;
Sight all the Favours of the soothing Fair,
And from the Laws of Nature vilely err;
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By odious Means, that scarce can bear a Name;
Practise such Sins, which, should the World embrace.
Must put a speedy End to human Race.
Thus hating Women, they pursue that Vice
Which in old Sodom had its wicked Rise;
Who, by the same, provok'd the God that's just
To pour down fiery Vengeance on their Lust;
Yet Sins we see, which long have bury'd lain
Beneath the heaviest Judgments, rise again,
From shameless Libertines receive new Growth,
Who dare good Heaven to shew its farther Wrath.
Old Letchers, enter'd into Life's last Stage,
Who bend beneath the Weight of feeble Age,
When near the Grave, they still their Lusts retain,
And on their Crutches will be lewd and vain;
Tho' crippl'd with their Vices, yet they find
New Ways to humour the salacious Mind;
Talk bawdy, tipple, into Brothels steal,
And covet Joys they are too numb to feel;
Yet lavish of their Coin, will bribe each Dame
That sins for Money, to expose her Shame,
And with a Pedant's Scepter, to exert
Her female Fury on the sinful Part,
'Till the harsh Discipline, by slow Degrees,
Awakens all the drowsy Faculties;
Then, by vile Arts, which shameless Punks devise,
Twixt Pain and Pleasure they their Lusts suffice:
Thus strive, when old, to gratify their Itch,
But aim in vain at Joys beyond their Reach;
For tho' Desire does in its Strength remain,
And fancy tittilates each struggling Vein,
Yet frozen Nature does the Bliss restrain.
So the sick Appetite oft longs for Meat,
Which, when the Dainty's bought, it cannot eat.
Who bend beneath the Weight of feeble Age,
When near the Grave, they still their Lusts retain,
And on their Crutches will be lewd and vain;
Tho' crippl'd with their Vices, yet they find
New Ways to humour the salacious Mind;
Talk bawdy, tipple, into Brothels steal,
And covet Joys they are too numb to feel;
Yet lavish of their Coin, will bribe each Dame
That sins for Money, to expose her Shame,
And with a Pedant's Scepter, to exert
Her female Fury on the sinful Part,
'Till the harsh Discipline, by slow Degrees,
Awakens all the drowsy Faculties;
Then, by vile Arts, which shameless Punks devise,
Twixt Pain and Pleasure they their Lusts suffice:
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But aim in vain at Joys beyond their Reach;
For tho' Desire does in its Strength remain,
And fancy tittilates each struggling Vein,
Yet frozen Nature does the Bliss restrain.
So the sick Appetite oft longs for Meat,
Which, when the Dainty's bought, it cannot eat.
Thus Old and Young their diff'rent Vices have,
From Men of Title, to the scoundrel Slave;
By many much Religion is profest,
Tho' in their Practice little's but exprest;
For 'tis in Town the Mode to be precise,
That Looks and Words their Morals may disguise:
But he that trusts the sober canting Cit,
Ne'er fails to find the Saint a Hypocrite;
For Zealots there use outward Signs of Grace,
Only to give their Frauds a better Face.
So on the Road we often find the Inn,
With splendid Sign, has nothing good within;
And tho' they bring us forth but homely Chear,
Yet ev'ry Thing they sell,'s both bad and dear.
From Men of Title, to the scoundrel Slave;
By many much Religion is profest,
Tho' in their Practice little's but exprest;
For 'tis in Town the Mode to be precise,
That Looks and Words their Morals may disguise:
But he that trusts the sober canting Cit,
Ne'er fails to find the Saint a Hypocrite;
For Zealots there use outward Signs of Grace,
Only to give their Frauds a better Face.
So on the Road we often find the Inn,
With splendid Sign, has nothing good within;
And tho' they bring us forth but homely Chear,
Yet ev'ry Thing they sell,'s both bad and dear.
Knaves upon Fools, and Jilts on Bubbles prey,
Husbands from Wives, and Wives from Husbands stray;
Party 'gainst Party shew their equal spite,
And snarling Scribblers against Scribblers write;
Guide against Guide with solemn Fury preach,
And by false Doctrines, widen ev'ry Breach;
Lawyers 'twixt Friends breed Quarrels and Disputes,
And spin each Diff'rence into costly Suits;
Dull printed News deludes the Town each Day,
And Fools believe what partial Blockheads say;
The Rabble at the Tower-Guns rejoyce,
And back their Thunder with as loud a Voice;
Thus madly shew their clam'rous Joys at large,
Before they ask the Cause of their Discharge;
The Senate give, the City gladly Pay,
Yet want to Morrow what they raise to Day;
The Coach-men squabble, and the Car-men fight;
The Hawkers bawl all Day, the Watch at Night;
Young starving Harlots ply in ev'ry Street,
Whilst Drunkards reel and jostle those they meet;
Gamesters on trading Little-wits impose,
And to poor Rakes reduce the City Beaus;
Draw in, by Wheedles, each unwary Blade,
And break more Fools, than the Decay of Trade;
The Bully preys on each adult'rous Dame,
Who ventures at the Sin, but dreads the Shame,
Swears mighty Love, till he her Heart has won,
Then dreins her Pocket, till she's quite undone.
So Sots, invited to a Tub of Stout,
First tap the Cask, then tarry till its out.
Husbands from Wives, and Wives from Husbands stray;
Party 'gainst Party shew their equal spite,
And snarling Scribblers against Scribblers write;
Guide against Guide with solemn Fury preach,
And by false Doctrines, widen ev'ry Breach;
Lawyers 'twixt Friends breed Quarrels and Disputes,
And spin each Diff'rence into costly Suits;
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And Fools believe what partial Blockheads say;
The Rabble at the Tower-Guns rejoyce,
And back their Thunder with as loud a Voice;
Thus madly shew their clam'rous Joys at large,
Before they ask the Cause of their Discharge;
The Senate give, the City gladly Pay,
Yet want to Morrow what they raise to Day;
The Coach-men squabble, and the Car-men fight;
The Hawkers bawl all Day, the Watch at Night;
Young starving Harlots ply in ev'ry Street,
Whilst Drunkards reel and jostle those they meet;
Gamesters on trading Little-wits impose,
And to poor Rakes reduce the City Beaus;
Draw in, by Wheedles, each unwary Blade,
And break more Fools, than the Decay of Trade;
The Bully preys on each adult'rous Dame,
Who ventures at the Sin, but dreads the Shame,
Swears mighty Love, till he her Heart has won,
Then dreins her Pocket, till she's quite undone.
So Sots, invited to a Tub of Stout,
First tap the Cask, then tarry till its out.
The Great in Coaches rattle to and fro;
Here a grave Statesman lolls, and there a Beau:
Some to rich City-Scriv'ners, some to Court;
Ladies some smiling, others a-la-mort:
Some upon new Intrigues, in wond'rous Haste;
Some thinking on their sweet Enjoyments past:
Some to the new Cathedral of St. Paul,
But more to th'Play-house, and to Salters-Hall;
Whilst others range in State the Town about,
To shew their Pride to those that walk on Foot,
Who gaze with Envy on the scornful Great,
And reverence, thro' Fear, those Pow'rs they hate,
So factious Tribes, their Loyalty to show,
Address most humbly, flatter, and bow low,
To sooth the very Prince they mean to overthrow.
Here a grave Statesman lolls, and there a Beau:
Some to rich City-Scriv'ners, some to Court;
Ladies some smiling, others a-la-mort:
Some upon new Intrigues, in wond'rous Haste;
Some thinking on their sweet Enjoyments past:
Some to the new Cathedral of St. Paul,
But more to th'Play-house, and to Salters-Hall;
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To shew their Pride to those that walk on Foot,
Who gaze with Envy on the scornful Great,
And reverence, thro' Fear, those Pow'rs they hate,
So factious Tribes, their Loyalty to show,
Address most humbly, flatter, and bow low,
To sooth the very Prince they mean to overthrow.
These are the only Pleasures of the Town,
Where all the Seeds of Wickedness are sown;
Where Atheists flourish, and the headstrong Rabble
Yield ev'ry Day some new amazing Squabble;
Where dire Confusion fills their noisy Streets,
And makes their best Delights but bitter Sweets.
What Mortal then, who wisely can despise
Fraud, Folly, Noise, Impertinence and Vice,
Would waste this Life in such a wretched Place,
Where ev'ry Knave puts on a Saint-like Face;
Or chuse a Town-bred Wife, if blest without,
Where the most Jiltish seem the most devout?
Where all the Seeds of Wickedness are sown;
Where Atheists flourish, and the headstrong Rabble
Yield ev'ry Day some new amazing Squabble;
Where dire Confusion fills their noisy Streets,
And makes their best Delights but bitter Sweets.
What Mortal then, who wisely can despise
Fraud, Folly, Noise, Impertinence and Vice,
Would waste this Life in such a wretched Place,
Where ev'ry Knave puts on a Saint-like Face;
Or chuse a Town-bred Wife, if blest without,
Where the most Jiltish seem the most devout?
For the gay Libertine, that takes Delight
In purchasing new Faces ev'ry Night;
Or for the rattling Rake, wrapt up in Vice,
Divided 'twixt the Bottle and the Dice;
London's the only Paradice to please
Such vain unthinking Profligates as these;
But he that wisely loves a sober Life,
And covets to be free from Care and Strife,
Let him, like me, embrace a Country Wife.
In purchasing new Faces ev'ry Night;
Or for the rattling Rake, wrapt up in Vice,
Divided 'twixt the Bottle and the Dice;
London's the only Paradice to please
Such vain unthinking Profligates as these;
But he that wisely loves a sober Life,
And covets to be free from Care and Strife,
Let him, like me, embrace a Country Wife.
What Man of Prudence, who is bent to ride
A pleasing Journey, careful to avoid
A stumbling Pad, unruly and unsound,
Would chuse in Smithfield, where such Jades abound?
A pleasing Journey, careful to avoid
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Would chuse in Smithfield, where such Jades abound?
Lady.
If for this Case alone you disagree
With the fam'd Place of your Nativity,
I'm the more happy that you chose to shun
The modish Vices of a sinful Town,
And that you'd Pow'r to fly the tempting Charms
Of Beauty, for a Country Housewife's Arms.
You make me proud, to think a rural Maid,
Born so remote, so very meanly bred,
Should be preferr'd to Ladies so refin'd,
Where Nature's Gifts with ev'ry Art are join'd,
That can adorn the Body or the Mind.
However, since you've made me thus your Bride,
My want of Charms shall be by Love supply'd:
The Duties of a Wife I'll ne'er transgress,
But make your Ease my only Happiness;
For Woman honour'd with a vertuous Spouse,
Enjoys in Wedlock all that Heav'n allows:
And she so blest, that proves perverse or base,
Thro' want of nuptial Gratitude or Grace,
Deserves to be despis'd by human Race.
| Nuptial Dialogues and Debates | |