Nuptial Dialogues and Debates Or, An Useful Prospect of the felicities and discomforts of a marry'd life, Incident to all Degrees, from the Throne to the Cottage. Containing, Many great Examples of Love, Piety, Prudence, Justice, and all the excellent Vertues, that largely contribute to the true Happiness of Wedlock. Drawn from the Lives of our own Princes, Nobility, and other Quality, in Prosperity and Adversity. Also the fantastical Humours of all Fops, Coquets, Bullies, Jilts, fond Fools, and Wantons; old Fumblers, barren Ladies, Misers, parsimonious Wives, Ninnies, Sluts and Termagants; drunken Husbands, toaping Gossips, schismatical Precisians, and devout Hypocrites of all sorts. Digested into serious, merry, and satyrical Poems, wherein both Sexes, in all Stations, are reminded of their Duty, and taught how to be happy in a Matrimonial State. In Two Volumes. By the Author of the London Spy [i.e. Edward Ward] |
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| XVI. | DIALOGUE XVI. Between a melancholy unfortunate old
Merchant, and his parsimonious saving Lady.
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 | Nuptial Dialogues and Debates |  |
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DIALOGUE XVI. Between a melancholy unfortunate old Merchant, and his parsimonious saving Lady.
Merchant.Bad News, my Dear, the Greyhound Gally's lost,
She stranded homewards on the Spanish Coast.
What malign Planet threatens my Affairs,
And thus torments me in my silver Hairs?
My younger Labours with Success were crown'd,
But in my Age the Fruits of all are drown'd.
What have I acted that could thus displease
That Pow'r that governs the tempestuous Seas?
Two Vessels in the Compass of two Years,
Bound outwards, taken by the Privateers;
Three richly laden, by the Winds and Waves
Were sunk, and lie entomb'd in liquid Graves.
Beneath these Shocks, what Measures shall I take?
If Credit fail me, I at once must break.
Bills for three thousand Dollars must I pay;
My Door will now be haunted ev'ry Day.
Notes of my Hand besides grow due apace,
Which, if delay'd, will publish my Disgrace.
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My present Wants require two thousand Pound:
Nor can I hope to raise it, but by Friends,
Who always fail him most, that most depends.
Lady.
Be patient, Love, disorder not your Mind;
Fortune next Year, perhaps, may prove more kind.
You have not yet consider'd how to steer
Your Course, to shun those Rocks and Shelves you fear.
You've Goods enough within your present Pow'r,
To fetch that Sum you mention, ev'ry Hour.
Your Disappointments have been great, I own,
But you're to blame to think your self undone.
'Tis true, you have some Cause for your Complaints,
But cannot be beneath such pressing Wants;
I know your Prudence has been much too great
To venture on the Seas your whole Estate.
Therefore, my Dear, before you thus despair,
Know rightly in what Circumstance you are:
Think not of Friends; they may, perhaps, be shy,
But your own Wants with your Effects supply.
Your Vaults and Ware-houses with Goods are pil'd;
Why then do you despond, since they are fill'd?
Give but your Broker upon 'Change the Pow'r
To sell, and you can need no Friend, I'm sure.
Merchant.
That Cure will prove much worse than the Disease,
There's no Demand of my Commodities.
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To vend 'em now my present Wants would show.
What's stock'd in Shops this Winter will consume,
Then will my Wares to a good Market come.
But should I sell 'em now, the World would see
My Loss has drove me to Necessity:
Then would my Credit sink, and all Men fear,
Who see such dang'rous Symptoms once appear,
That the destructive Plague of Bankrupcy was near.
The common Rule of Trade does thus advise,
Sell nothing low, that you're assur'd will rise.
Lady.
But, since your present Pressures are so great,
You cannot for a better Market wait.
Your Case, you say, is desp'rate, and your Need,
As Matters stand, must be supply'd with speed.
Your present Safety you must first regard;
No future Gain should be to that preferr'd.
Such ill-tim'd Av'rice, when your Ruin's near,
May hurry on those Dangers which you fear:
But I'm in hopes you'll find some other Way
To clear the Aspect of a frowning Day,
Disperse those angry Clouds you seem to dread,
And keep the Storm from falling on your Head.
Therefore consult how far your Pow'r extends,
But entertain no Thought of doubtful Friends.
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But Friends, in whom mistaken Fools confide,
Most commonly withdraw, when in Distress they're try'd.
Merchant.
I have no present Way to raise Supplies,
But by those Goods, which I foresee must rise,
Unless to Friends I do my Streights declare,
Or for large Premiums borrow Sums elsewhere.
These are the only Measures I can use,
And all so bad, I know not which to chuse.
If, at the Price that's current, I dispose
Of my best Wares, I Half in Half must lose;
If, to my ablest Friends, I should apply,
They may prove cool, and my Request deny:
Nor will the craving Banker be content,
Without too large a Premium for the Lent;
And, if distrustful, ask my Ware house Key,
Of twice the Worth, for his Security.
I know no other Methods I can take,
Yet still the worst is better than to break;
But happy is the Man, who, when distrest,
'Twixt sundry Ways, knows how to chuse the best.
Lady.
I own I am not willing you should close
With any of these Measures you propose.
I fancy I a better Way can find,
Than all the Methods you have yet design'd.
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Tender and loving to a high Degree,
Walk up, I have a faithful Friend in Store,
That will supply the Sum you need, or more.
Take this, my Dear, I hope 'twill ease your Fears;
That I have sav'd within these twenty Years;
Yet nothing has been wanting, that could be
A Credit to your self or Family:
Your Tables have with wholesome Food been spread,
Your Children all genteely cloth'd and bred;
Your Friends at all Times welcome to the best;
My self in decent good Apparel drest;
Your Servants all suffic'd to their Content,
That none could find just Reason of Complaint.
I therefore hope you'll now despond no more,
Or tease your Breast with Dreams of growing poor;
But chear your Heart, and please your self to see
The good Effects of my Frugality.
Merchant.
What's here? I'm quite astonish'd, I protest;
My Dear, I am at once amaz'd and blest.
What Providence thy saving Hand must guide
To glean this Gold, so timely now apply'd?
With Joy my Bus'ness now I can pursue;
What Wonders Care and Diligence may do?
This is a Blessing I could ne'er foresee,
Owing to none but bounteous Heav'n and thee.
What Thanks can I return, or how repay
So kind a Present on a needful Day,
When none but melancholy Scenes appear'd,
And I, involv'd in Care, my Ruin fear'd?
My Dear, I am at once amaz'd and blest.
What Providence thy saving Hand must guide
To glean this Gold, so timely now apply'd?
With Joy my Bus'ness now I can pursue;
What Wonders Care and Diligence may do?
This is a Blessing I could ne'er foresee,
Owing to none but bounteous Heav'n and thee.
What Thanks can I return, or how repay
So kind a Present on a needful Day,
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And I, involv'd in Care, my Ruin fear'd?
But pray, my Dear, add this to my Content,
Inform me of your prudent Management,
And how you came to raise, and thus possess
So great a Sum, to serve me in Distress.
Inform me of your prudent Management,
And how you came to raise, and thus possess
So great a Sum, to serve me in Distress.
Lady.
You allow'd largely to maintain your House,
More than enough, unless I'd been profuse.
I never thought my self too proud or good
To buy at the best hand our daily Food;
Look'd o'er my Servants with a watchful Eye,
Ne'er trusted to their Care or Honesty;
But see their Bus'ness done without Abuse,
And that they wasted nothing fit for Use.
By this Observance, I had Pounds to spare
At the Year's End, to recompence my Care:
But had I thought my Quality too great
To've stir'd from out my Velvet Chair of State,
And trusted to my Maids, as others do,
They'd sunk by Fraud, what I have sav'd for you;
Lac'd Shoes and Furbeloes long since had spent
The Fruits of my industrious Management.
More than enough, unless I'd been profuse.
I never thought my self too proud or good
To buy at the best hand our daily Food;
Look'd o'er my Servants with a watchful Eye,
Ne'er trusted to their Care or Honesty;
But see their Bus'ness done without Abuse,
And that they wasted nothing fit for Use.
By this Observance, I had Pounds to spare
At the Year's End, to recompence my Care:
But had I thought my Quality too great
To've stir'd from out my Velvet Chair of State,
And trusted to my Maids, as others do,
They'd sunk by Fraud, what I have sav'd for you;
Lac'd Shoes and Furbeloes long since had spent
The Fruits of my industrious Management.
Besides, the yearly Money you allow'd,
To make my self and your fair Daughters proud,
I housewif'd well, and never would agree
They should exceed the Rules of Decency.
I ne'er affected any costly Sort
Of Dress, because it was a Mode of Court,
Or richly cloth'd my Girls, as if they'd been
Lord's Daughters, and Companions for the Queen;
But made 'em glad to modestly appear
In decent Serges, manufactur'd here,
And wore my self such Robes as best became
The Birth and Station of a City-Dame.
I ne'er was fond or forward, in my Life,
To dress more flaunting than my Neighbour's Wife,
Or vex'd to see her Sunday-Gown more fine,
Or her gay Petticoat more rich than mine.
I barter'd not my Gold for taudry Lace,
Or with much Cost adorn'd my honest Face:
I lov'd to keep my Riches in my Purse,
Tho the Apparel that I wore was coarse,
And not to hang it round me, to be seen
In Beads and Bracelets, like an Indian Queen.
To make my self and your fair Daughters proud,
I housewif'd well, and never would agree
They should exceed the Rules of Decency.
I ne'er affected any costly Sort
Of Dress, because it was a Mode of Court,
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Lord's Daughters, and Companions for the Queen;
But made 'em glad to modestly appear
In decent Serges, manufactur'd here,
And wore my self such Robes as best became
The Birth and Station of a City-Dame.
I ne'er was fond or forward, in my Life,
To dress more flaunting than my Neighbour's Wife,
Or vex'd to see her Sunday-Gown more fine,
Or her gay Petticoat more rich than mine.
I barter'd not my Gold for taudry Lace,
Or with much Cost adorn'd my honest Face:
I lov'd to keep my Riches in my Purse,
Tho the Apparel that I wore was coarse,
And not to hang it round me, to be seen
In Beads and Bracelets, like an Indian Queen.
I ne'er sipp'd Coffee, Chocolate, or Tea,
Geneva, Brandy, Punch, or Ratefea;
No Closet-Cordials had to drink apart,
But with good English Ale could chear my Heart,
Ne'er valu'd costly Junkets, Shews, or Plays,
But lov'd at Home to spend my peaceful Days;
With Care perform'd the Duties of my Life,
Like a good Mother, Mistress, and a Wife.
Geneva, Brandy, Punch, or Ratefea;
No Closet-Cordials had to drink apart,
But with good English Ale could chear my Heart,
Ne'er valu'd costly Junkets, Shews, or Plays,
But lov'd at Home to spend my peaceful Days;
With Care perform'd the Duties of my Life,
Like a good Mother, Mistress, and a Wife.
By these fair Means I have this Sum obtain'd,
And hope in this Distress 'twill prove your Friends
But if your present Wants should call for more,
I have some Gold and Jewels yet in Store,
Heav'n will not see so just a Man grow poor.
And hope in this Distress 'twill prove your Friends
But if your present Wants should call for more,
I have some Gold and Jewels yet in Store,
Heav'n will not see so just a Man grow poor.
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Thanks to my Dearest for this kind Supply,
In spite of Loss, I'm overcome with Joy,
Here's full enough to ease my present Cares,
To save my Stock, and manage my Affairs.
I now can pay my foreign Bills, and raise
My sinking Credit to what Pitch I please;
Be bold on 'Change, despise the Frowns of Fate,
And fear no Hell-hound from the Counter-Gate.
O! happy Woman! O! Indulging Wife!
Whose nursing Care has giv'n my Age new Life.
What can I say, or what hereafter do,
That may requite this gen'rous Act in you?
Money so blest, design'd for my Repose,
I'm sure must prosper wheresoe'er it goes:
Future Success, for certain, cannot miss
To crown a Blessing unforeseen like this.
My Losses now, I hope, I shall survive,
And do not doubt but I apace shall thrive.
Thy timely kind Assistance I foresee
Will be attended with Prosperity.
Ere long, my Dearest, thou shalt find thy Gold
Shall be with Thanks return'd thee double-fold.
My only Care, thro' the Remains of Life,
Shall be to recompence so kind a Wife;
To whose good Hand, now aged and distrest,
I owe the Peace and Comforts of my Breast;
Sure never Man before was in a Wife so blest.
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I'm highly glad, my Dear, I could command
So large a Sum, to serve so true a Friend.
'Tis but my Duty to exert my Pow'r,
To help you when a Storm begins to low'r;
For she that sees her Husband on the Brink
Of Danger stand, and suffers him to sink,
Without endeav'ring gladly to preserve
His Person or Repute, deserves to starve.
She merits not that venerable Name
Of Wife, but ought, to her eternal Shame,
To be the Sport of Boys, and Mock of common Fame.
| Nuptial Dialogues and Debates | |