Nuptial Dialogues and Debates Or, An Useful Prospect of the felicities and discomforts of a marry'd life, Incident to all Degrees, from the Throne to the Cottage. Containing, Many great Examples of Love, Piety, Prudence, Justice, and all the excellent Vertues, that largely contribute to the true Happiness of Wedlock. Drawn from the Lives of our own Princes, Nobility, and other Quality, in Prosperity and Adversity. Also the fantastical Humours of all Fops, Coquets, Bullies, Jilts, fond Fools, and Wantons; old Fumblers, barren Ladies, Misers, parsimonious Wives, Ninnies, Sluts and Termagants; drunken Husbands, toaping Gossips, schismatical Precisians, and devout Hypocrites of all sorts. Digested into serious, merry, and satyrical Poems, wherein both Sexes, in all Stations, are reminded of their Duty, and taught how to be happy in a Matrimonial State. In Two Volumes. By the Author of the London Spy [i.e. Edward Ward] |
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109
Dialogue XII. Between a depending Courtier, who would have sacrific'd the Chastity of his Wife to a certain Great Man, in hopes of Preferment, and his vertuous Lady, who was avers'd to a Compliance.
Wife.My Dear, what makes my Lord his Visits pay
So oft? For he was here again to Day,
Teazing my Ears with such respectful Praise,
I know not what he means by what he says:
Sometimes he treats me with a Love Intrigue,
Then gazing on my Face, he flirts his Wig;
Walks too and fro the Room, then down he sits,
Pauses and sighs, as if beside his Wits:
Sometimes he smiles, and compliments me high,
And oft does into frantick Raptures fly;
Then, rising from his Seat, he springs in Haste,
Forces a Kiss, and hugs me round the Waste,
Then down he sets me, rubs against my Knees,
Presses my Breast, and gives my Hand a Squeeze,
Tells me how much my Beauty he admires,
Talks of Love Passions, and of am'rous Fires.
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His Bed with half the Charms that I possess.
With such like Flatt'ries does he stuff my Ears,
As if he meant t'affront me with his Jeers;
Nor can I rude or disrespectful be,
Because I'm so beneath his Quality;
Next, 'cause I know that you so much depend
Upon his Honour, as your only Friend;
Therefore what Measures I shall use, pray tell,
For I am apt to fear he means not well.
Husband.
I know he loves you; I have heard him swear,
Of all your Sex, you're most divinely fair;
And that he thinks me happy in a Wife.
Whose Charms are fit to bless a Monarch's Life:
Whene'er he asks me kindly how you do,
His tender Manner does his Passion shew;
And when he walks, and talks to me aside,
He ne'er forgets his Wishes to my Bride;
Makes you the Object of his fond Desires,
And seems to whisper what his Love requires;
For I have often heard him sigh, and cry,
He'd give the World to be as blest as I;
Then vowing much Respect for you and me,
Would swear I should ere long his Friendship see.
In short, he does for you such Love express,
That what he means, you cannot chuse but guess.
111
With how much Patience you conceive his Flame,
And to my glowing Ears convey the same,
As if you thought it, like a shameful Cow'rd,
An Honour to be rivall'd by a Lord?
How could you hear his odious Love exprest,
And keep your Sword from his adult'rous Breast;
Or tamely lissen to a treach'rous Friend,
Who does the Beauty of your Wife commend
In such an odious Manner, as to shew
His Lust for her, and his Contempt of you?
You talk as calmly of his loose Desires,
As if you'd have me grant what he requires;
And that, for Reasons to your self best known,
You'd Pimp for her the Laws have made your own.
Prithee, my Dear, the Mystery disclose,
And let me know what he or you propose?
If to your Lordly Friend you prove so kind,
You ought to first acquaint me with your Mind;
For when a Woman's Honour lies at Stake,
'Tis fit you should to her the Secret break.
Husband.
You know, my Dear, that he's a pow'rful Man,
Great in Estate, and high in the Divan;
Behind the Curtain turns the grand Machine,
Puts others out, and who he pleases in:
Who therefore would not make one Step awry,
To win the Smiles of such a Friend thereby,
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Can make us much more happy than we are?
Besides, my Dear, you may resign your Charms
With so much Conduct to his longing Arms,
That no discerning Eye can trace your Love,
Or watch the happy Minute you improve;
And whilst our Vices are conceal'd from Fame,
We 'njoy the Pleasure, but escape the Shame.
Who then would such a lucky Hour deny,
And lose the Prospect of such wealthy Joy;
When, by a trifling Sin, to th'World unknown,
With Care repeated, unsuspected done,
We may, perhaps, advance our meaner State,
And rise from narrow Fortunes, to be great?
Wife.
Well said, my patient Spouse, I'm glad to find
You'll grant your Wife such License to be kind:
Since you consent, I should adorn your Brows,
And for your Int'rest, break my nuptial Vows.
I hope you'll give me Leave to please my Mind
With those I like, when I am so inclin'd:
If I for Profit may unfold my Arms,
Sure, for my Pleasure, I may use my Charms;
For she that's wicked to support her Pride,
When Love appears, must yield to be enjoy'd.
But sure, my Dear, you only talk to try
How far vain Hopes would bring me to comply;
And whether I'd be forward to defile
My nuptial Honour, for a Courtier's Smile.
113
From some conceal'd Distrusts or Jealousies:
I fancy that you only importune
Your Wife to what you think's already done;
Therefore I beg you to be free and plain,
That I may truly know what 'tis you mean.
Husband.
By all that's sacred, I have no Design,
But what's for both your Benefit and mine:
I know my Lord's devoted to your Charms,
And sighs and pines to hug you in his Arms.
Would you but once with his Desires comply,
His Heart would be enslav'd 'twixt you and I;
Your Beauty might command whate'er you pleas'd,
Was but his Love, by your Indearments, eas'd:
Would you surrender what he wants to take,
I should fare well for my Dorinda's sake;
To high Preferments I should quickly rise,
And Jems would sparkle round your beauteous Eyes;
Yet with due Care you might your Honour keep,
And in his Arms with Reputation sleep;
For I my self can cover the Disgrace,
And give your secret Joys an honest Face;
Guard you from prying Servants, till he's cloy'd,
That what you do may common Fame avoid.
Many by such Compliance rise at Court;
'Tis a sure way to win the nobler sort:
Beauty's Man's only Advocate among
The greater Rank, that rule the humble Throng.
114
By the same Means, obtain'd a higher Post:
Why therefore will you keep me at a stand,
When your kind Charms may Wealth and Pow'r command?
Wife.
You're serious then, I find you're well agreed
My Lord should share the Pleasures of your Bed;
That your fair Wife should prostitute her Charms,
And with Adult'ry stain her vertuous Arms;
Fawn on your Friend, and alienate from you
A Heart that has been always kind and true;
Adorn your Forehead with an odious Crest,
And make you ev'ry Beau and Blockhead's Jest;
Despise you, flout you, bastardize your Race,
Whilst he that horns you, whispers your Disgrace,
Till thro' the Brothel Court, and next the Town,
My Whoredom, and your Complaisance are known.
My Lord should share the Pleasures of your Bed;
That your fair Wife should prostitute her Charms,
And with Adult'ry stain her vertuous Arms;
Fawn on your Friend, and alienate from you
A Heart that has been always kind and true;
Adorn your Forehead with an odious Crest,
And make you ev'ry Beau and Blockhead's Jest;
Despise you, flout you, bastardize your Race,
Whilst he that horns you, whispers your Disgrace,
Till thro' the Brothel Court, and next the Town,
My Whoredom, and your Complaisance are known.
Nobly resolv'd, and courteously advis'd!
Am I oblig'd, or do you think surpriz'd,
To hear such Counsel from a Husband's Mouth,
Whose Happiness should center in my Truth?
Bless me! was ever such a gen'rous Spouse,
Who, to indear his Friend, not onl' allows,
But courts his Wife to hornify his Brows!
Am I oblig'd, or do you think surpriz'd,
To hear such Counsel from a Husband's Mouth,
Whose Happiness should center in my Truth?
Bless me! was ever such a gen'rous Spouse,
Who, to indear his Friend, not onl' allows,
But courts his Wife to hornify his Brows!
Husband.
Fear not the Pleasures you may thus bestow,
Since none besides our selves the Secret know.
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To boast the happy Favours he obtains;
Nor dare I broach the Liberties you take,
'Less my own Tongue my self should odious make:
So that you must be safe in his Embrace,
Unless your Folly blads your own Disgrace.
Who therefore would not value the Esteem
Of him who loves to such a fond Extream,
Since you have my Consent to freely grant
The utmost Joys his eager Soul can want?
And when your Husband's Welfare does depend
Upon your Kindness to his only Friend,
And you have my Command to yield a Part
Of your Delights, to ease another's Heart;
It then becomes your Duty to resign,
And, if a Sin, it is not yours, but mine.
Woman in all Things should her Lord obey;
And if, by my Advice, you go astray,
It is not you that err, but I that lead the Way.
Wife.
The Wife's a Subject to her Spouse, 'tis true,
And I allow that I am so to you;
But if a Husband shall presume so far,
As to command his lawful Wife to err,
And she's convinc'd, that what her Spouse enjoins,
Is justly rank'd among the worst of Sins;
If she complies with your obscene Command,
Guilty with you she equally must stand;
For human Pow'rs all lawful Bounds exceed,
When they require what Heaven's Laws forbid.
And I allow that I am so to you;
But if a Husband shall presume so far,
As to command his lawful Wife to err,
And she's convinc'd, that what her Spouse enjoins,
Is justly rank'd among the worst of Sins;
If she complies with your obscene Command,
Guilty with you she equally must stand;
116
When they require what Heaven's Laws forbid.
Besides, had you the least Remains of Love,
How could you basely condescend to move
Your vertuous Wife to break her nuptial Trust,
And become servile to another's Lust?
How could you basely condescend to move
Your vertuous Wife to break her nuptial Trust,
And become servile to another's Lust?
Husband.
Prithee, dear Fool, be not so nicely coy,
When both our Int'rest tempts you to the Joy.
The Thoughts of Wealth should stem your Female Fears;
All Things should bow, when sov'reign Gold appears:
The very Priests who painfully instil
Those pious Rules, that triumph o'er your Will,
When Int'rest beckons will the Text prophane,
And change their Doctrine many ways for Gain;
Princes themselves, whose Royal Faces shine
Thro' their whole Kingdom on their glitt'ring Coin,
Shew, by imprinting of their Image there,
What Reverence to mighty Gold they bear;
And, to repleat their Treasures, will comply
With wond'rous Things, unknown to you and I;
Such that would make us startle, could we peep
Within those Royal Curtains where they sleep.
In short all Vertue, tho' it's ne'er so nice,
Stoops to the pleasing Joys of wealthy Vice,
Only the Great put on a better Face,
And gild their Lewdness with a nobler Grace.
When both our Int'rest tempts you to the Joy.
The Thoughts of Wealth should stem your Female Fears;
All Things should bow, when sov'reign Gold appears:
The very Priests who painfully instil
Those pious Rules, that triumph o'er your Will,
When Int'rest beckons will the Text prophane,
And change their Doctrine many ways for Gain;
Princes themselves, whose Royal Faces shine
Thro' their whole Kingdom on their glitt'ring Coin,
Shew, by imprinting of their Image there,
What Reverence to mighty Gold they bear;
And, to repleat their Treasures, will comply
With wond'rous Things, unknown to you and I;
Such that would make us startle, could we peep
Within those Royal Curtains where they sleep.
In short all Vertue, tho' it's ne'er so nice,
Stoops to the pleasing Joys of wealthy Vice,
Only the Great put on a better Face,
And gild their Lewdness with a nobler Grace.
Why then should stubborn Vertue disagree
With such a prosp'rous Opportunity,
And lose the Blessings you might now improve
By secret Dalliance, and dissembl'd Love?
With such a prosp'rous Opportunity,
117
By secret Dalliance, and dissembl'd Love?
Wife.
Shame on your base and treacherous Advice;
I scorn your Dictates, and your Lord despise:
Nor shall so tame a Wretch, that would seduce
Your Wife, for Int'rest, to another's Use,
And court me thus to prostitute my Charms
To such a faithless Friend's adult'rous Arms,
E'er bed me more; for I abhor the Thought
Of loving such a Brute, or proving naught,
To gratify the base ignoble End
Of such an odious Spouse, or hateful Friend.
Blush at your Crime, and curse your wretched Life,
For aiming to betray so just a Wife,
Whose Blood untainted chills in ev'ry Vein,
That Nature should produce so vile a Man.
Who could, with Patience, hear his Friend impart
Such Wishes, and not stab him to the Heart?
The gen'rous Bull his lustful Rival gores,
Assaults him boldly with his utmost force,
Defends his Herd, that they may constant prove,
And scorns his Fellow-Beast should share their Love.
The noble Horse will, for his Female, fight
His grazing Neighbour that invades his Right;
Disdains his Mistress should to others yield,
Whilst his strong Hoofs can guard her in the Field.
The meanest Brute that moves upon the Ground,
The Cat, the Rat, the very Hare, or Hound,
All struggle hard, and shew their zealous Care,
That none shall in their Mate's Concessions share,
The Dung-hill Cock will make his Rival feel
The pointed Fury of his armed Heel,
And, tho' a Coward, yet he'll dare his Fate,
T'ingross the Favours of his feather'd Mate.
But thou, vile Wretch, more brutish far than they,
Would'st thy own Wife to others Arms betray,
Induce her to be odiously unjust,
And make thy self a Pander to her Lust.
Shame on thy treach'rous and ignoble Mind,
And the foul Heart of thy lascivious Friend.
Go tell the vicious Rake, the garter'd Fool,
My Vertue scorns to be a Lord's Close-stool.
Bid him go search the Brothels, and the Stage,
Where mercenary Sluts for Gold engage;
Or, in the Ev'ning, range the airy Parks,
Where jilting Ladies meet their brawny Sparks:
There let him breathe forth his obscene Desires
To those that like to quench such lustful Fires;
Adult'rous Dames of Quality, who burn
For such as he to serve their odious Turn.
Tell him, from me, that I despise and hate
His Pomp, his Pow'r, his Person, and Estate,
And sooner would consent to spend my Life
In a mean Hut, some honest Shepherd's Wife,
Than sacrifice my Vertue and my Charms
To his, or to a King's adult'rous Arms;
For the chaste Woman, in the meanest State,
Enjoys more Comfort than the vicious Great.
I scorn your Dictates, and your Lord despise:
Nor shall so tame a Wretch, that would seduce
Your Wife, for Int'rest, to another's Use,
And court me thus to prostitute my Charms
To such a faithless Friend's adult'rous Arms,
E'er bed me more; for I abhor the Thought
Of loving such a Brute, or proving naught,
To gratify the base ignoble End
Of such an odious Spouse, or hateful Friend.
Blush at your Crime, and curse your wretched Life,
For aiming to betray so just a Wife,
Whose Blood untainted chills in ev'ry Vein,
That Nature should produce so vile a Man.
Who could, with Patience, hear his Friend impart
Such Wishes, and not stab him to the Heart?
The gen'rous Bull his lustful Rival gores,
Assaults him boldly with his utmost force,
Defends his Herd, that they may constant prove,
And scorns his Fellow-Beast should share their Love.
The noble Horse will, for his Female, fight
His grazing Neighbour that invades his Right;
Disdains his Mistress should to others yield,
Whilst his strong Hoofs can guard her in the Field.
The meanest Brute that moves upon the Ground,
The Cat, the Rat, the very Hare, or Hound,
118
That none shall in their Mate's Concessions share,
The Dung-hill Cock will make his Rival feel
The pointed Fury of his armed Heel,
And, tho' a Coward, yet he'll dare his Fate,
T'ingross the Favours of his feather'd Mate.
But thou, vile Wretch, more brutish far than they,
Would'st thy own Wife to others Arms betray,
Induce her to be odiously unjust,
And make thy self a Pander to her Lust.
Shame on thy treach'rous and ignoble Mind,
And the foul Heart of thy lascivious Friend.
Go tell the vicious Rake, the garter'd Fool,
My Vertue scorns to be a Lord's Close-stool.
Bid him go search the Brothels, and the Stage,
Where mercenary Sluts for Gold engage;
Or, in the Ev'ning, range the airy Parks,
Where jilting Ladies meet their brawny Sparks:
There let him breathe forth his obscene Desires
To those that like to quench such lustful Fires;
Adult'rous Dames of Quality, who burn
For such as he to serve their odious Turn.
Tell him, from me, that I despise and hate
His Pomp, his Pow'r, his Person, and Estate,
And sooner would consent to spend my Life
In a mean Hut, some honest Shepherd's Wife,
Than sacrifice my Vertue and my Charms
To his, or to a King's adult'rous Arms;
For the chaste Woman, in the meanest State,
Enjoys more Comfort than the vicious Great.
119
As for your Part, I'll fly from your Embrace;
I hate a Wretch so infamously base:
I'll to my rural Friends with speed retire,
Tell them the kind Concessions you require,
That they may know how far your gen'rous Mind
Is to my Welfare and your own inclin'd.
No more, false Man, shall you enjoy a Smile
From her, in vain you've labour'd to beguile;
For what just Wife, that has been kind and chaste,
Would hug a treach'rous Serpent in her Breast,
Whose Love's so little, and his Pride so great,
That he'd defile her Charms to live in State?
I hate a Wretch so infamously base:
I'll to my rural Friends with speed retire,
Tell them the kind Concessions you require,
That they may know how far your gen'rous Mind
Is to my Welfare and your own inclin'd.
No more, false Man, shall you enjoy a Smile
From her, in vain you've labour'd to beguile;
For what just Wife, that has been kind and chaste,
Would hug a treach'rous Serpent in her Breast,
Whose Love's so little, and his Pride so great,
That he'd defile her Charms to live in State?
Farewell, I'll date thy Hatred from this Time,
And leave you to repent your shameful Crime.
And leave you to repent your shameful Crime.
Husband.
May Hell and Fury follow where she goes,
Since her nice Vertue such Resentment shows;
And if I find, that she in spite declares
The Secret I've imparted to her Ears,
(For Wives can seldom from their Sex conceal
What their own Pride excites them to reveal)
Then, in Revenge, I'll say, I only try'd
Her Virtue, and aver, that she comply'd,
And that I turn'd her off, because I found
My jealous Conflicts had sufficient Ground;
Vow that I lov'd, whilst she was kind and good,
And, tho' I think her chaste, I'll swear she's lewd.
What I assert's most likely to prevail,
Whilst few will credit her prepost'rous Tale;
120
To court his Wife to grant so strange a Suit,
As to become another's Prostitute?
| Nuptial Dialogues and Debates | |