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University of Virginia Library

Merchant

poems

Pennecuik, Alexander (1652-1722)

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1.

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ENTERTAINMENTS FOR THE CURIOUS, &c.

On the Grave-stone of Marjory Scot of Dunkeld.

FLOWERS from PARNASSUS. Ex Musæo nostro, primo Junii, 1727.

The Character of a Vintner.

A Warning to the Wicked, or, Margaret Dickson's Welcome to the Gibbet.

The merry Wives of Musleburgh, at their meeting together, to Welcome MEG DICKSON after her Loup from the Ladder.

EPILOGUE to Meg Dickson's Loup from the Ladder.

An Epistle to a Gladiator, that Morning he fought Obryan.

Speculations on a Sparrow's Nest, in the Skull of Baillie the Robber.

Meditations on pulling Mushrooms.

Inscription for the Grave of George Paterson, who hewed out the subterranean Caves at Gilmerton, Opus quinque annorum.

Comical Reflections on a Taylor's Sign thus blazon'd, Azure, a Hand couped, ruffled proper, grasping a Pair of Scissars, expanded, Ore, pointing to the Crest, a meridian Sun of the 2d. incircled with Motto, Let Work bear Witness .

Inscription for the Carters Conveening-hall in Leith.

Comfort to an afflicted Father upon the Death of his only Child, who died thro' bad Nursing.

A country Notar's morning Hymn to the Gibbet, erected before his Door.

On a matchless Miser, who was imprisoned, and had his valuable Effects rifled, 19 May 1727.

The Taylor in Triumph, or Beau Stitch's Speech to his Brethren, entring his Chariot for the Country.

Epistle to an heretical Professor.

The Self-tormenter.

Inscription for the Grave-stone of Mr. David Ferry, late School-master of Auchtermuchty, who died, June 1. 1726, in the 62 Year of his Age.

The heavenly Vision. Sacred to the Memory of her Grace Anne Dutchess of Hamilton, Chattlerault, and Brandon, who died of Child-bearing the Seventeenth Year of her Age.

The Character of a Whip-man.

A Manifesto from the bold Sons of Britain, to the poor proud Spaniard besieging Gibraltar.

A Tale of a Beau and a Barber.

A Farewel to B--- entering the Boat to fulfil his Sentence of Banishment.

Inscription upon the Grave-stone of George Button Taylor, where lies interr'd several of that Name.

On the Grave-stone of Mr. William More.

A Tale of a Muir-cock, written originally in the Celtick Language by the famous Mythologist Alaster Macalamore, in Villa Cuculi, carefully preserved by a MS. belonging to the Pluscardin Monks, now faithfully rendered into English.

The Trial and Condemnation of this Muir-cock, extracted from the above Register.

The Zealous Constable; or, the Criminal Stirling Impeach'd for High-Treason.

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A DIALOGUE betwixt a Glasgow Malt-man and an English Excise-man, at the Commencement of the Malt-tax.

Sir John Barleycorn's EPITAPH.

The Webster's Wife's Tears over her Husband's Testicles, who Castrate himself: In a Dialogue 'twixt her and the Matrons of Middleton.

A small Poem on Providence.

Description of a wonderful Maid to be seen in this City, 160 Years old, with an Account of the surprising Actions she performs.

A modest Caution to Preachers in dissenting Meetings, proper to be read before Sermon, on the 30 January.

On a Captain's Sword, lying on a Lady's Whoop.

A Lady Comforting her self the best Way she can, after losing her Maiden-head.

Mr. Pennecuik on the first Day of the New Year, going to pay a Visit to the Lady ---, his Aunt, she made him a Present of a Piece of Gold, commonly called a Jacobus, in Return of which, Mr. Pennecuik made the following Poem.

Mr. Pennecuik coming by a Tavern in the Country, some Gentlemen seeing him pass by, call'd him, and offered him a Bowl of Punch-Royal which held six Pints, if he would make an Inscription on Captain Philip Lokhart's Effigies that was in the Room, which was perform'd by both Parties, which is as follows.

An Epistle to a Highland Judge, from whom a lewd Woman stole a considerable Sum.

A Poem on WILL and MEG.

On the 29th January G--- I. done by Lady Cranston.

The Character of a GAUGER.

A Cliver Poem made in the Canongate Guard-house, at the Request of several Officers, apprehending Mr. Pennecuik going Home to his Quarters being late.

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Speculations on a Sparrow's Nest, in the Skull of Baillie the Robber.

Brave Baillie, thou'rt a Miracle to me,
Two Worlds are deeply Debitor to thee;

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The Lawyers got thy Cash, the Devil thy Soul,
Thy awful Reliques now adorns this Pole.
Strange useful Man! even hanging in these Chains,
Thy Head's a Druggist's Shop, the Doctors stole thy Brains,
Thy salutif'rous Skull doth Vigour give,
Bold Man! you dy'd that we might longer live.
Rogues tremble when thy bleached Bones they see,
You preach Repentance from that awful Tree,
Birds fly from other Men, but flock to thee.
And deepest Wisdom shines in what they do,
They only live by stealing, so did you;
In Gratitude they visit their Relation,
Love you so well you are their Habitation,
They in thy Pericranium build their Nest,
And there they hatch their Young, and there they live at Rest.
Sound may they sleep exalted in the Air,
The plund'ring School-boys dare not venture there.
The silly Swallows David did envy,
Who in their Beds did round the Altars ly;
But you are wondrous wise in what you do,
No Man alive will ever envy you.
Your Offspring will be very wise and vain,
And foolish Man have reason to complain,
We're Children of the Womb, they're Children of the Brain.