A collection of poems on various subjects including the theatre, a didactic essay; in the course of which are pointed out, the rocks and shoals to which deluded adventurers are inevitably exposed. Ornamented with cuts and illustrated with notes, original letters and curious incidental anecdotes [by Samuel Whyte] |
 |
|
|
| I. |
| II. |
|
|
| III. |
| IV. |
| VIII. |
|
| I. |
| III. |
| IV. |
|
|
|
| III. |
| IV. |
| V. |
|
|
|
 | A collection of poems on various subjects |  |
242
THE MERCHANT;
OR, THE RECREANT KNIGHTS DISCOMFITED, A LESSON TO ARROGANCE. AN HEROIC-SERIO-COMIC BALLAD, CONTAINING A FAITHFUL RELATION OF A STRANGE AND TERRIBLE ENCOUNTER BETWEEN NINE GREAT OFFICERS AND A PEACEFUL CITIZEN.
BY AN EYE-WITNESS.
God prosper long our noble king,
Our lives and safeties all!
A woeful skirmish late there did
In Spranger's booth befall.
Our lives and safeties all!
A woeful skirmish late there did
In Spranger's booth befall.
Tho' strange it should be sung or said,
Impeach my lays who can,
How nine dubb'd errants, dight in red,
From one small merchant ran.
Impeach my lays who can,
How nine dubb'd errants, dight in red,
From one small merchant ran.
To lounge the tedious hours they went
At Hexham's mimic fight;
But dearly shall they all repent
The pastime of that night.
At Hexham's mimic fight;
But dearly shall they all repent
The pastime of that night.
234
Alert they to the boxes crowd,
Of gaudy trappings vain,
And look, full crusty, glum and proud,
On little folks disdain.
Of gaudy trappings vain,
And look, full crusty, glum and proud,
On little folks disdain.
They gabble loud, damn all they saw,
And all the house disturb;
For 'gainst ill-breeding there's no law,
And on their tongues no curb.
And all the house disturb;
For 'gainst ill-breeding there's no law,
And on their tongues no curb.
A youth beside them took his place,
Of small account to see,
And, sooth to say, 'twas great disgrace,
He should so near them be.
Of small account to see,
And, sooth to say, 'twas great disgrace,
He should so near them be.
Him first in guarded speech they taunt,
Which courteous he repell'd;
Thence gathering heart they huff and vaunt,
By him with smiles beheld.
Which courteous he repell'd;
Thence gathering heart they huff and vaunt,
By him with smiles beheld.
For prowess high in Plymouth streets
Recorded stands their fame,
And eke their thrice renowned seats,
Dee's frighted shores proclaim.
Recorded stands their fame,
And eke their thrice renowned seats,
Dee's frighted shores proclaim.
244
Nor shall thy meed in Ostmen's-Town,
Slieve-Gorget be forgot,
When George, the hatter, knock'd thee down;
Cork-Hill, the fatal spot.
Slieve-Gorget be forgot,
When George, the hatter, knock'd thee down;
Cork-Hill, the fatal spot.
Presuming like a lordly brave,
Thou didst thy venom spit;
But that could not thy bacon save,
Which might have, taught thee wit.
Thou didst thy venom spit;
But that could not thy bacon save,
Which might have, taught thee wit.
Fitz-Minion too may rue the day
With Volunteer at strife,
Who kick'd and cuff'd him on the quay,
For tampering with his wife.
With Volunteer at strife,
Who kick'd and cuff'd him on the quay,
For tampering with his wife.
The deeds erewhile of their compeers
I could alike unveil;
But now in pity spare their fears;
The time supplies my tale.—
I could alike unveil;
But now in pity spare their fears;
The time supplies my tale.—
The prompter rang, the curtain rose,
The actors plied their parts;
But nothing could content the beaux,
For rancour fill'd their hearts.
The actors plied their parts;
But nothing could content the beaux,
For rancour fill'd their hearts.
245
Eftsoons they heard the beaten drum,
And wonderful to say!
Anon they felt their courage come;
But mischief mark'd its way.
And wonderful to say!
Anon they felt their courage come;
But mischief mark'd its way.
Slieve-Gorget sightly, large and strong,
Belanna's dear delight,
And Cruskeen-borb of froward tongue,
But stomach small for fight:
Belanna's dear delight,
And Cruskeen-borb of froward tongue,
But stomach small for fight:
With seven more, robust and tall,
Train'd warriors from their birth,
Because a stranger to them all,
Conspire to murder Worth.
Train'd warriors from their birth,
Because a stranger to them all,
Conspire to murder Worth.
For Worth was the young merchant's name,
And doubly 'twas his right;
Those recreants prov'd it to their shame,
When they provok'd his might.
And doubly 'twas his right;
Those recreants prov'd it to their shame,
When they provok'd his might.
In vengeful dudgeon forth they stroll'd,
And rak'd the box-room fire,
Lest haply should their wrath catch cold,
Their valour might expire.
And rak'd the box-room fire,
Lest haply should their wrath catch cold,
Their valour might expire.
246
With direful threatenings high in oath,
Each chieftain seiz'd his post,
And, as becomes the martial cloth,
Each seems himself a host.
Each chieftain seiz'd his post,
And, as becomes the martial cloth,
Each seems himself a host.
Away, away, thou reckless 'squire!
Away, devoted groom!
Who dares oppose them in their ire,
Too surely tempts his doom.
Away, devoted groom!
Who dares oppose them in their ire,
Too surely tempts his doom.
Soon Worth appear'd, the hostile crew,
A desperate band, I trow,
With naked swords all at him flew,
Resolv'd to lay him low.
A desperate band, I trow,
With naked swords all at him flew,
Resolv'd to lay him low.
Slieve-Gorget, like a frantic scold
Amidst her brawling crones,
First on his collar laid fast hold,
And swore he'd break his bones.
Amidst her brawling crones,
First on his collar laid fast hold,
And swore he'd break his bones.
To give his stern bravado weight,
He stoutly stamp'd the board,
And in his face he bolted straight
The pummel of his sword.
He stoutly stamp'd the board,
And in his face he bolted straight
The pummel of his sword.
247
This was by concert signal made
The onset to begin,
Which on the instant all obey'd,
And closely hemm'd him in.
The onset to begin,
Which on the instant all obey'd,
And closely hemm'd him in.
Ah! woe is me! there's no resource,
And here thy days must end!
For sure 'gainst such united force,
'Twere bootless to contend.
And here thy days must end!
For sure 'gainst such united force,
'Twere bootless to contend.
With oaken stick, scarce worth a groat,
He kept them all at bay,
And quickly to confusion brought
The authors of the fray.
He kept them all at bay,
And quickly to confusion brought
The authors of the fray.
Slieve-Gorget earn'd a fractur'd head,
In doleful plight was he!
Poor Cruskeen-borb roar'd out, he's dead!
And crouch'd upon his knee.
In doleful plight was he!
Poor Cruskeen-borb roar'd out, he's dead!
And crouch'd upon his knee.
'Twas then his heart string honour pinch'd,
A cord she seldom touch'd;
His trusty whinyard never flinch'd,
And firm the hilt he clutch'd.
A cord she seldom touch'd;
His trusty whinyard never flinch'd,
And firm the hilt he clutch'd.
248
Yield thee, vile caitiff! fierce he cries,
Or this decides thy fate;
Vain hope!—a chop betwixt his eyes
Consign'd him to the grate.
Or this decides thy fate;
Vain hope!—a chop betwixt his eyes
Consign'd him to the grate.
His harder hap I needs must tell,
Ye courtly blades beware!
The ruthless embers on him fell,
And burnt his well-dress'd hair!
Ye courtly blades beware!
The ruthless embers on him fell,
And burnt his well-dress'd hair!
There lies he as presumption should;
Revenge O'Brougus vow'd,
As near his smouldring curls he stood,
Wrapt in a savoury cloud.
Revenge O'Brougus vow'd,
As near his smouldring curls he stood,
Wrapt in a savoury cloud.
Soon He, pot-valiant now no more,
Recoils with streaming snout;
As tho' the bumpers quaff'd before
Deserted that way out.
Recoils with streaming snout;
As tho' the bumpers quaff'd before
Deserted that way out.
Beneath a lady's arm entrench'd,
His colleague tilts a poke;
But from his gripe the cheese-fork wrench'd,
Worth with his sapling broke.
His colleague tilts a poke;
But from his gripe the cheese-fork wrench'd,
Worth with his sapling broke.
249
Behind him one, all blanch'd with fear,
Prepares a mortal thrust;
His left hand timely gain'd his ear,
And fell'd him him to the dust.
Prepares a mortal thrust;
His left hand timely gain'd his ear,
And fell'd him him to the dust.
With brandish'd faulchion, gleaming bright,
Another brav'd the list;
Plumb in the mark, as swift as light,
He darts his manly fist.
Another brav'd the list;
Plumb in the mark, as swift as light,
He darts his manly fist.
Like the chaf'd surge he storms his trunk;
Down dropt the guiltless steel,
And sickening sore, like gin-swill'd punk,
He to and fro did reel.
Down dropt the guiltless steel,
And sickening sore, like gin-swill'd punk,
He to and fro did reel.
On all around, stand or retreat,
He dealt with peerless skill,
And down he laid them at his feet,
Like sacks upon the mill.
He dealt with peerless skill,
And down he laid them at his feet,
Like sacks upon the mill.
O stain to arms! Fitz-Minion then,
Shock'd at the sight, did scream;
Assert your place in beauty's ken,
And your lost fame redeem.
Shock'd at the sight, did scream;
Assert your place in beauty's ken,
And your lost fame redeem.
250
Had Buckingham not quit the land,
Or Westmoreland appear'd,
Accounts against you so to stand,
You must be all cashir'd.
Or Westmoreland appear'd,
Accounts against you so to stand,
You must be all cashir'd.
The words had scarce a passage found
From out his trembling lips,
When Worth, to face him wheeling round,
The musky major trips.
From out his trembling lips,
When Worth, to face him wheeling round,
The musky major trips.
Oh! I am hurt! he piteous cried!
My friends! be witness all!
But what more deeply hurts my pride,
The merchant sees me fall.
My friends! be witness all!
But what more deeply hurts my pride,
The merchant sees me fall.
And many were the lookers on,
Who well his drift could read;
But to redress him ran not one,
For all approv'd the deed.
Who well his drift could read;
But to redress him ran not one,
For all approv'd the deed.
The vanquish'd knights, if 'twould avail
I could by name record;
But that would little grace my tale:
They had their just reward.
I could by name record;
But that would little grace my tale:
They had their just reward.
251
Their foul defeat, of all the corps,
Escap'd there none to tell;
Save one, who sculk'd behind the door,
Discover'd by the smell.
Escap'd there none to tell;
Save one, who sculk'd behind the door,
Discover'd by the smell.
The strife near twenty minutes cost,
Ere Worth got time to breathe,
And now in generous pity lost,
He looks on those beneath.
Ere Worth got time to breathe,
And now in generous pity lost,
He looks on those beneath.
Tho' match'd against such fearful odds,
His life and fame at stake,
To see them like a heap of clods,
His very heart did ake.
His life and fame at stake,
To see them like a heap of clods,
His very heart did ake.
Why would you so, with grief he cried,
Expose a soldier's name?
I almost rather would have died,
Than tarnish you with shame.
Expose a soldier's name?
I almost rather would have died,
Than tarnish you with shame.
The Girls on red-coats wont to doat,
Perceiving how they err'd,
Struck with amazement! chang'd their note,
And Worth, sweet souls! preferr'd.
Perceiving how they err'd,
Struck with amazement! chang'd their note,
And Worth, sweet souls! preferr'd.
252
So home he went with laurels deck'd;
His foes bestrew'd the field:
Thus virtue's sons obtain respect,
And courage is their shield.
His foes bestrew'd the field:
Thus virtue's sons obtain respect,
And courage is their shield.
The Nine, repriev'd for future fate,
'Gainst Worth sneak'd off to swear,
And each display'd his reeking pate,
Which made the justice stare!!!
'Gainst Worth sneak'd off to swear,
And each display'd his reeking pate,
Which made the justice stare!!!
Good lack! good lack! his worship cried,
Thus pride must have a fall!
Can honour be to Worth denied.
That singly fac'd you all?
Thus pride must have a fall!
Can honour be to Worth denied.
That singly fac'd you all?
I'll not distress the brave young man
With warrants, and so forth;
Go home, and do the best you can
To make it up with Worth.
With warrants, and so forth;
Go home, and do the best you can
To make it up with Worth.
God save the King and Justice too,
And let good sense increase,
That dress'd in scarlet, green or blue,
We may see shows in peace.
And let good sense increase,
That dress'd in scarlet, green or blue,
We may see shows in peace.
A fine patronymic termination! which luckily characterises this complicated hero, at once the Ajax and Thersites of the poem; it means in English, fierce.
This singular circumstance, however extraordinary, is a fact, modestly omitted by Mr. Worth in his narrative prefixed, and with equal modesty and reserve he touches upon other particulars, detailed in this ballad as they really happened. He was next morning apprized of their application to the justice, and by advice of his friends, as a matter of self-defence, tendered his examinations, which were admitted, and the affair is at the present writing sub judice. —The matter has been since determined in the Court of King's Bench, with exemplary damages in favour of Worth.
254
EPIGRAM.
[Cynthia, this morning clasp'd her friend]
Cavete, Amici!
Cynthia, this morning clasp'd her friend,
A chosen, tried and true one;
But see how Cynthia's friendships end;
To night she sports a new one!
DEFENCE.
In nova fert animus.------
—Ovid.
—Ovid.
Why are you with poor Cynthia vex'd?
In spite of art and fashion,
Is she not constant to her text?
Variety's her passion.
262
MY OWN EPITAPH.
Born premature, such the all-wise decreeLoud shriek'd the storm, and mountains ran the sea;—
Ah! what, sweet Voyager! in that dreadful hour,
Avail'd thy blooming youth; thy beauty's pow'r
She died!—her breast with double anguish torn,
And, her sole care, I first drew breath forlorn.
Her nurse, when female aid was most requir'd,
Faithful to death, kiss'd, bless'd her and expir'd;
The stout ship braved the elemental strife,
And the good crew preserv'd my little life.
Lerpool receiv'd and foster'd me a while,—
Call'd, thrice repuls'd, thence to Hibernia's isle,
With letter'd aid she taught me ills to bear,
And long, not unesteem'd, I sojourn'd there.
Erewhile the state was of my Sire bereft,
And I, hard fate! a helpless orphan left:
Nor, as if mark'd for persecution's spite,
Did one parental smile e'er cheer my sight.
My arms two Sons and one dear Daughter bless'd;
Heaven be their refuge!—here at last I rest.
Faults too I had, and failings not a few;
But yet a heart, I trust, humane and true:
If more the curious reader ask to know,
The final Sentence all in all will show.
JAMQUE OPUS EXEGI.—
| A collection of poems on various subjects | |