 | Satires and miscellaneous poetry and prose |  |
181
NONSENSE
What Art have Jewellers t' Improve a Stone
Unles with Dust and Powder of its own?
Unles with Dust and Powder of its own?
For things Abhominable in Conversation,
Will Pass in Bookes, for Modish, and in Fashion:
As German Authors first found out the Trick
T' Articulate their New Nicknames in Greek,
And Mercers use to give a Rotten Stuffe
A New hard Name, to go the easier off.
That servs our modern Authors here to face
The Titles of their workes, like Copperlace.
Will Pass in Bookes, for Modish, and in Fashion:
As German Authors first found out the Trick
T' Articulate their New Nicknames in Greek,
And Mercers use to give a Rotten Stuffe
A New hard Name, to go the easier off.
That servs our modern Authors here to face
The Titles of their workes, like Copperlace.
Though Art, and Nature's no more Different,
Then Characters from things they Represent:
And when the one's exactly tru Designd
It is but copyd from the other kinde
To cheat Philosophers, who think th' are Matters
Of sevrall kindes, and Disagreeing Natures,
When Art has nothing Excellent, and Good,
But what the Laws of Nature have allowd:
Yet Learned men have sevral Scales, to weigh
All that they write, Distinct, from what they say,
As other Tradsmen, that in measures deale,
Have long to buy withall, and short to sell:
That b'ing compard together only Differ
The more Elaborate, is but the Stiffer:
Write things in Heats, which in the colder Bloud
Of Fancy are not to be understood.
The more they treat of things Methodically
Do but the [more] impertinently dally
And by Referring things that are most hard,
To Proper Heads, nere mind them afterward.
Believe that no man can be in the wrong,
That is mistaken in a Learned Tongue.
The very Sound o' th' Language is enough
To keep all ordinary Censure off.
Then Characters from things they Represent:
And when the one's exactly tru Designd
It is but copyd from the other kinde
To cheat Philosophers, who think th' are Matters
Of sevrall kindes, and Disagreeing Natures,
When Art has nothing Excellent, and Good,
But what the Laws of Nature have allowd:
Yet Learned men have sevral Scales, to weigh
All that they write, Distinct, from what they say,
As other Tradsmen, that in measures deale,
Have long to buy withall, and short to sell:
That b'ing compard together only Differ
The more Elaborate, is but the Stiffer:
Write things in Heats, which in the colder Bloud
Of Fancy are not to be understood.
The more they treat of things Methodically
Do but the [more] impertinently dally
And by Referring things that are most hard,
To Proper Heads, nere mind them afterward.
Believe that no man can be in the wrong,
That is mistaken in a Learned Tongue.
The very Sound o' th' Language is enough
To keep all ordinary Censure off.
182
Th' Ignorant World without Distinction, lookes
On all, that Passe's on th' Accompt of Booke's;
And when there are two Scollers, that within
The Species only, hardly are of kin;
The world wil pas for men of equall knowledg,
If equally th' have Loyterd in a Colledge.
On all, that Passe's on th' Accompt of Booke's;
And when there are two Scollers, that within
The Species only, hardly are of kin;
The world wil pas for men of equall knowledg,
If equally th' have Loyterd in a Colledge.
The Curiousest Judgment's apt to loose
The vigor of it's Sense, with too much use;
For Mules at once, wil Travel, Eate, and Sleep
Upon a Road, they have been usd to keep.
The vigor of it's Sense, with too much use;
For Mules at once, wil Travel, Eate, and Sleep
Upon a Road, they have been usd to keep.
Was not our Cuntry-man, the Great Manage
The Noblest virtuoso of the Age?
Before Morinus, a Cadet-Physitian
Exchangd Professions, with a Mathematician,
Who spent a whole week to Convince his Brother,
But, in the End, Converted one another;
And, while the one Maintaind, what th' other doubted,
Both got the victory, yet both were Routed.
The Noblest virtuoso of the Age?
Before Morinus, a Cadet-Physitian
Exchangd Professions, with a Mathematician,
Who spent a whole week to Convince his Brother,
But, in the End, Converted one another;
And, while the one Maintaind, what th' other doubted,
Both got the victory, yet both were Routed.
The Prince of Syracuse, whose Destind Fate
It was to Kepe a Schoole, and Rule a State,
Found that his Scepter, never was so Awd,
As when it was translated to a Rod;
And that his vassals nere were s' obedient,
As when he was Inaugurated Pedant:
Whence those that use to teach the Liberal Arts,
Are Princes al and Tyrants in their Hearts.
And look as wise as if like Prester John
Th' had been begotten al by Solomon:
For to Instruct is greater then to Rule
And no Command's Imperious as a School.
It was to Kepe a Schoole, and Rule a State,
Found that his Scepter, never was so Awd,
As when it was translated to a Rod;
And that his vassals nere were s' obedient,
As when he was Inaugurated Pedant:
Whence those that use to teach the Liberal Arts,
Are Princes al and Tyrants in their Hearts.
And look as wise as if like Prester John
Th' had been begotten al by Solomon:
For to Instruct is greater then to Rule
And no Command's Imperious as a School.
For no Infatuations are so Bad
As theirs, who to Improve themselves, Run Mad.
As if to teach, were nothing but to Part
With something of their Native Sense, and Art;
Or put their Ingenuity to sale
To those th' Instruct, by outcry, or Retayle.
As theirs, who to Improve themselves, Run Mad.
As if to teach, were nothing but to Part
With something of their Native Sense, and Art;
Or put their Ingenuity to sale
To those th' Instruct, by outcry, or Retayle.
For the best Characters of Ignorance
Are vanity, and Pride, and Arrogance;
As Blind men use to bear their Noses higher
Then those that have their Eiesight most Intire.
Are vanity, and Pride, and Arrogance;
183
Then those that have their Eiesight most Intire.
As Campanella usd to screw and wrest
His face like Theirs, to whom he then Addrest,
And allways found he had the best Success,
When best he did it, most of all to Please:
So Famous writers think their very Looks
Will ad a great Advantage to their Books;
And therefore, when they put their works in Print,
Their Pictures are the first things handled in't.
His face like Theirs, to whom he then Addrest,
And allways found he had the best Success,
When best he did it, most of all to Please:
So Famous writers think their very Looks
Will ad a great Advantage to their Books;
And therefore, when they put their works in Print,
Their Pictures are the first things handled in't.
[Cardan] that Admird Italian Doctor wrot
His Parents Frenzies, when he was begot;
Told how his Sire lookd one way, and his Mother
In th' Act, when they committed him, another,
For feare of b'ing surprizd, and taken, in
So Infamous a Place, and Lewd a Sin.
That in the Eies of th' Embrio, did Imprint
The Native Signature he had, to Squint:
And how their Hugs, and Locks, had Sprain'd his Toos
They never could be fit, for any Shoos
All which Past well; because such kinde of Freakes
Had been Committed once by th' Antique Greeks;
And since, some Later writers of Romances
Have Matchd it with their Plagiary Fancies,
Whose Great Examples have been thought enough
To Justify Extravaganter Stuff.
His Parents Frenzies, when he was begot;
Told how his Sire lookd one way, and his Mother
In th' Act, when they committed him, another,
For feare of b'ing surprizd, and taken, in
So Infamous a Place, and Lewd a Sin.
That in the Eies of th' Embrio, did Imprint
The Native Signature he had, to Squint:
And how their Hugs, and Locks, had Sprain'd his Toos
They never could be fit, for any Shoos
All which Past well; because such kinde of Freakes
Had been Committed once by th' Antique Greeks;
And since, some Later writers of Romances
Have Matchd it with their Plagiary Fancies,
Whose Great Examples have been thought enough
To Justify Extravaganter Stuff.
The Antients thought, that Men and Goats drew th' Aire
To set their Longs on work, at either Eare;
But whether that were but a Flam or Tru
The Devil any of them ever knew!
To set their Longs on work, at either Eare;
But whether that were but a Flam or Tru
The Devil any of them ever knew!
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