 | Satires and miscellaneous poetry and prose |  |
397
APPENDIX
399
TENTATIVE LINES ON VARIOUS SUBJECTS
Wit and Folly
And when his wit has leakd it's moysture
Is empty as a Gaping Oyster.
Is empty as a Gaping Oyster.
And might as wel for prophets pas
As Livies Calf or Balams Ass.
As Livies Calf or Balams Ass.
In Plays, the last Act's but the Fag
And therefore may b' allowd to flag.
And therefore may b' allowd to flag.
400
That do's but Dictate and Compile
At charge of nothing but the stile,
Which al that chance to light upon
May freely chaleng as their own.
At charge of nothing but the stile,
Which al that chance to light upon
May freely chaleng as their own.
This sayd—Another of the Crew
Stood up, and sayd—This is to shew
How easy things that are above
Or under Reason are to Prove,
And how far wit upon the Stretch
In things that are not fixt; wil reach,
That may be wrested any way,
But never Renderd at a Stay;
Or if they are, unfix mens Braines,
And seldom prove worth half the Paines:
For Demonstrations rarely Rise
T' outweigh mere Probabilities,
And, though most Certaine, yet th' are such
In matters that import not much,
Are like Mecha[n]iques, Tru in small
Designes, but greater, not at all:
For who would give a Straw to know
The Reason one and one make two?
But Probables, that nere Conclude,
Are of a Nobler Latitude.
Stood up, and sayd—This is to shew
How easy things that are above
Or under Reason are to Prove,
And how far wit upon the Stretch
In things that are not fixt; wil reach,
That may be wrested any way,
But never Renderd at a Stay;
Or if they are, unfix mens Braines,
And seldom prove worth half the Paines:
For Demonstrations rarely Rise
T' outweigh mere Probabilities,
And, though most Certaine, yet th' are such
In matters that import not much,
Are like Mecha[n]iques, Tru in small
Designes, but greater, not at all:
For who would give a Straw to know
The Reason one and one make two?
But Probables, that nere Conclude,
Are of a Nobler Latitude.
For Subtlety and Politiques
Alloy great valours when they mix.
Alloy great valours when they mix.
Fooles in Judging
Are Faine to swallow many a Gudgin.
And Cheat themselves with Tricks as False
As Gamsters Dice, or Juglers Bals.
Are Faine to swallow many a Gudgin.
And Cheat themselves with Tricks as False
As Gamsters Dice, or Juglers Bals.
But, if she takes to virtuosing
To Dabling, Scribling and Composing,
Shee's more insufferable yet
And gives no Quarter with her wit;
On both sides Moote's upon all Cases
With Love and Honor Common Places;
Runs down the Stars, and has the Ods
At Reprimands of all the Gods,
And Rants, as if they were no more
But Statues stil as heretofore
And, like their Images, but Logs
Thrown down from Heav'n to govern Frogs;
And is a Dreadfuller Earestretcher
The[n] the Ablest Conventicle Teacher;
But, if she takes to sing or fiddle,
Her vertus center in the middle,
The Sphere to which al virtu tends,
And leaves to vice ------ Ends;
Does all her Feates by mode and fashion
And Clips false Coyn of Affectation;
At selling Bargaines, far exceeds
The Signe of the three Logger heads,
And cry's down al that is not wit
With Fire and Flame as Juglers spit.
To Dabling, Scribling and Composing,
Shee's more insufferable yet
And gives no Quarter with her wit;
On both sides Moote's upon all Cases
With Love and Honor Common Places;
Runs down the Stars, and has the Ods
At Reprimands of all the Gods,
And Rants, as if they were no more
But Statues stil as heretofore
And, like their Images, but Logs
Thrown down from Heav'n to govern Frogs;
And is a Dreadfuller Earestretcher
The[n] the Ablest Conventicle Teacher;
But, if she takes to sing or fiddle,
Her vertus center in the middle,
401
And leaves to vice ------ Ends;
Does all her Feates by mode and fashion
And Clips false Coyn of Affectation;
At selling Bargaines, far exceeds
The Signe of the three Logger heads,
And cry's down al that is not wit
With Fire and Flame as Juglers spit.
As if his Tongue had got the Bit,
And Ran away with all his wit.
And Ran away with all his wit.
Like Races, where the longest winde
Leave's all the Shorter-breathd behind
And strive's to make his Rams-horns blow
With Noyses alone, down Jericho.
Leave's all the Shorter-breathd behind
And strive's to make his Rams-horns blow
With Noyses alone, down Jericho.
Dilemmas of Polemique wits
When if one misse, the other hit's.
When if one misse, the other hit's.
Pride
As when Dogs set up their Tayles in PrideTh' expose those Parts that Nature meant to hide.
Learning
When most men have so hard a task, to shun
Their being by themselvs imposd upon.
Their being by themselvs imposd upon.
An able Judge may have a Heavy head
As Gold and Silver's tryd with Tests of Lead.
As Gold and Silver's tryd with Tests of Lead.
Who, like a Skilful Rhetorician,
Knew how to order his Transition
So Cunningly, the Quickest Sense
Could nere unriddle his Pretence,
Nor what he went about Discover,
Untill the whole Design was over.
Knew how to order his Transition
So Cunningly, the Quickest Sense
Could nere unriddle his Pretence,
Nor what he went about Discover,
Untill the whole Design was over.
For Truth and Falshood, like a Gun, that's shot
Make æquall Noyses, tho they hit, or Not:
And some still growe the worse, the more they Reade
As Elks (they say) Go Backwards, when they feed.
Make æquall Noyses, tho they hit, or Not:
And some still growe the worse, the more they Reade
As Elks (they say) Go Backwards, when they feed.
The New Divice of Fiddle strings, to Rayse
Above the Mean, or Tenor-Part; the Base:
For when two Strings are straind t' an unison
(A greater and a less) and stil straind on
(Both æqually) the greater wilbe found,
B'ing straind before, to have the Higher sound.
A wondrous Hard Invention to unriddle
The Natrall Reason of, upon the Fiddle,
Which Gallileo shew'd himself an Ass
To take no Notice of, but overpas.
Above the Mean, or Tenor-Part; the Base:
For when two Strings are straind t' an unison
(A greater and a less) and stil straind on
(Both æqually) the greater wilbe found,
B'ing straind before, to have the Higher sound.
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The Natrall Reason of, upon the Fiddle,
Which Gallileo shew'd himself an Ass
To take no Notice of, but overpas.
So those that by the Oracle had been
Infallibly Declard the wisest Men,
Were but affected Humorists and Drols,
That might have past as wel for Errant Fooles,
That held it wisdom freely to commit
All sorts of madnes, when the Magot Bit.
Which some were faine to counterfet and Act,
T' avoyd the Law, that favours the Distract;
And one of them, made statutes, that concern
The Regulating al that Teach, or Learne.
Did not omit Proviso's for their Play,
But put it, in a Legislative way,
That nobody could play at Trap, or Ball,
Unless it were allowd Juridicall,
With Peremptory Injunctions, and Commands
About the Managment of Clokes, and Bands,
Mad[e] Rules to spit, and after tread it out
More Regular then ever had been taught,
Made Politique Provisos, to Put off
Their Breaking winde with sneeres, or a Coffe;
That Tully (had he lived then) had abstained
To rub his face so often with his Hand.
Infallibly Declard the wisest Men,
Were but affected Humorists and Drols,
That might have past as wel for Errant Fooles,
That held it wisdom freely to commit
All sorts of madnes, when the Magot Bit.
Which some were faine to counterfet and Act,
T' avoyd the Law, that favours the Distract;
And one of them, made statutes, that concern
The Regulating al that Teach, or Learne.
Did not omit Proviso's for their Play,
But put it, in a Legislative way,
That nobody could play at Trap, or Ball,
Unless it were allowd Juridicall,
With Peremptory Injunctions, and Commands
About the Managment of Clokes, and Bands,
Mad[e] Rules to spit, and after tread it out
More Regular then ever had been taught,
Made Politique Provisos, to Put off
Their Breaking winde with sneeres, or a Coffe;
That Tully (had he lived then) had abstained
To rub his face so often with his Hand.
For those that valew things too cheap, or Deare,
More then the Standard of the world wil Beare:
Mistake Th' Intrinsique Rate, and put their Talents,
And Inclinations, only in the Ballance:
And those, to whom the Hardest things are cleare,
Will make the Plaine as Difficult appeare;
When all the Antients fancyd of the Trick
Was but a Stoiques Earthen Candle-stick,
That to some Pædants of his Tribe was Sold,
And Purchacd for its weight in Ready Gold.
More then the Standard of the world wil Beare:
Mistake Th' Intrinsique Rate, and put their Talents,
And Inclinations, only in the Ballance:
And those, to whom the Hardest things are cleare,
Will make the Plaine as Difficult appeare;
When all the Antients fancyd of the Trick
Was but a Stoiques Earthen Candle-stick,
That to some Pædants of his Tribe was Sold,
And Purchacd for its weight in Ready Gold.
So he, that sainted Queen Elizabeth
So many Scores of yeares, before her Death,
And cald her Diva, Th' Antients nere allowd
To any Prince, till Dead, and made a God.
And, tho the Learnedst of our Antiquarys,
Let such a Blemish on her Commentarys.
So many Scores of yeares, before her Death,
And cald her Diva, Th' Antients nere allowd
To any Prince, till Dead, and made a God.
And, tho the Learnedst of our Antiquarys,
Let such a Blemish on her Commentarys.
The sturdy Gaul bore Cæsar, like a Sack,
H' had Loaded Prisner ore his Horses Back,
A Greater Captive then the Roman Foe,
Who had been taken Prisner, by a Crow.
H' had Loaded Prisner ore his Horses Back,
A Greater Captive then the Roman Foe,
Who had been taken Prisner, by a Crow.
403
Extravagances wil not Pass in Nature
On those that live so many Ages After,
Tho all the world indeavors to excuse
The most Prodigious Custome of their use,
Like Boys, and Girles Implicitly held best
To Gather in their Spices, in the East.
Or that Blind Moor that smelling to a Clod
Led on the Caravan upon the Road,
As one that is of Classical Esteeme
Relates the Story, and the Rest from him.
If any have so feeble a Beliefe
To credit such a monstrous Narrative.
On those that live so many Ages After,
Tho all the world indeavors to excuse
The most Prodigious Custome of their use,
Like Boys, and Girles Implicitly held best
To Gather in their Spices, in the East.
Or that Blind Moor that smelling to a Clod
Led on the Caravan upon the Road,
As one that is of Classical Esteeme
Relates the Story, and the Rest from him.
If any have so feeble a Beliefe
To credit such a monstrous Narrative.
For men that are in Greatest want of Sense
Have all and more supplyd by confidence;
And, as some Printers have (among the Popish)
Been Hangd for Printing truer then their Copies,
It is a Dangrous thing, for those that write
All sorts of Truths, to bee too much i' th' Right.
Have all and more supplyd by confidence;
And, as some Printers have (among the Popish)
Been Hangd for Printing truer then their Copies,
It is a Dangrous thing, for those that write
All sorts of Truths, to bee too much i' th' Right.
Like him that usd to stand al Day and night
Congeald into a Posture bolt upright,
A Deep occult Philosopher and Scribe,
The Lutum Sapientiae of his Tribe.
Congeald into a Posture bolt upright,
A Deep occult Philosopher and Scribe,
The Lutum Sapientiae of his Tribe.
For those that take most Pains to under[stan]d,
Like great Estates Run furthest behind hand,
Retaine the measure, which at School they took,
When only for the words, they read a book.
And all their freest thoughts, can never leave
What Custome first Ingagd 'em to receive;
Who still the more, they Toyle in Books and Drudge,
Are found the more untowardly to Judge,
Resolve i' th' Dark of Matters ere so Hard,
Like Jury men of Fire, and Light debard:
That many a Learned Metaphysique Clarke
Has been bred-up, Like Singing Birds, i' th' Dark.
Like great Estates Run furthest behind hand,
Retaine the measure, which at School they took,
When only for the words, they read a book.
And all their freest thoughts, can never leave
What Custome first Ingagd 'em to receive;
Who still the more, they Toyle in Books and Drudge,
Are found the more untowardly to Judge,
Resolve i' th' Dark of Matters ere so Hard,
Like Jury men of Fire, and Light debard:
That many a Learned Metaphysique Clarke
Has been bred-up, Like Singing Birds, i' th' Dark.
Chaldeans brag th' have been Astrologers,
Before the Moon, so many Thousand years:
But could not Cast their own Nativitys,
For want of her, without so many Lyes;
Yet those, that can Put down Astrologers
And outly those five thousand Falkoners,
And Huntsmen, which the Macedonian youth
Allowd his Tutor, only to write Truth,
The Learnd wil pas for tru, and Current all,
If th' Authors have but Past for Classical.
Before the Moon, so many Thousand years:
But could not Cast their own Nativitys,
For want of her, without so many Lyes;
Yet those, that can Put down Astrologers
And outly those five thousand Falkoners,
And Huntsmen, which the Macedonian youth
Allowd his Tutor, only to write Truth,
The Learnd wil pas for tru, and Current all,
If th' Authors have but Past for Classical.
404
[Philosophers]
That crack their brains to find out by what trade
The fabrick of the world at first was made;
Who drew the model of it, and what sect
Produc'd the philosophick architect;
Or whether chance, necessity, or matter
Contriv'd the whole establishment of nature;
That all the antique poets were not mad
And crackt enough to do it half so bad,
Until the deep and learneder Wiseacres
Philosophers became the undertakers,
Who more stupendiously perform'd the fact,
And prov'd themselves more exquisitely crackt;
That when the moon's at full a Madman's dreams
Are sob'rer than their wisest theorems.
That crack their brains to find out by what trade
The fabrick of the world at first was made;
Who drew the model of it, and what sect
Produc'd the philosophick architect;
Or whether chance, necessity, or matter
Contriv'd the whole establishment of nature;
That all the antique poets were not mad
And crackt enough to do it half so bad,
Until the deep and learneder Wiseacres
Philosophers became the undertakers,
Who more stupendiously perform'd the fact,
And prov'd themselves more exquisitely crackt;
That when the moon's at full a Madman's dreams
Are sob'rer than their wisest theorems.
Make one man's teeth grow in another's chops,
And brew, with ginger, beere, instead of hops;
Make silk of canvace, and Virginia grasses,
And grind on flakes of ice new burning glasses;
Make prawns and crawfish, and all shellfish else
With sympathetick powder of their shells;
Make chips of Elm produce the largest trees
And sowing saw-dust furnish nurseries.
And brew, with ginger, beere, instead of hops;
Make silk of canvace, and Virginia grasses,
And grind on flakes of ice new burning glasses;
Make prawns and crawfish, and all shellfish else
With sympathetick powder of their shells;
Make chips of Elm produce the largest trees
And sowing saw-dust furnish nurseries.
For sentences have greater latitude
To quibble in, than single words, allowd,
The new rhetorick figure clinch and pun,
To make two diff'rent senses pass for one,
The dear delight of reverend men, whose wit
Is grown no further back than childhood yet,
And therefore may b' allow'd to play its wild
Vagaries in its journey down to child,
To jumble contradictions, and make good
And bad in the same subject understood,
Force wet and dry t' ingage, and hot and cold
Like nature in another Chaos hold,
A more ingenious and absurd device
Then grinding burning-glasses upon ice,
Which th' Irish prophet us'd so long ago
To light a fire, and burn great heaps of snow,
And ought to pass for modish, since the French
Have not outgrown Carwichet yet and clench,
But use to make the rime and equivoc
The sole ingredients of a witty Book;
And if they can by chance but make the fadge,
Believe th' have gotten ground of all the age,
And laugh at all the ignorant liefhebbers,
And witless virtuosos of their neighbours.
To quibble in, than single words, allowd,
The new rhetorick figure clinch and pun,
To make two diff'rent senses pass for one,
The dear delight of reverend men, whose wit
Is grown no further back than childhood yet,
And therefore may b' allow'd to play its wild
Vagaries in its journey down to child,
To jumble contradictions, and make good
And bad in the same subject understood,
Force wet and dry t' ingage, and hot and cold
Like nature in another Chaos hold,
A more ingenious and absurd device
Then grinding burning-glasses upon ice,
Which th' Irish prophet us'd so long ago
To light a fire, and burn great heaps of snow,
And ought to pass for modish, since the French
Have not outgrown Carwichet yet and clench,
But use to make the rime and equivoc
The sole ingredients of a witty Book;
And if they can by chance but make the fadge,
Believe th' have gotten ground of all the age,
And laugh at all the ignorant liefhebbers,
And witless virtuosos of their neighbours.
405
For those that treat of ------ are wont
To write down all that authours say upon't,
But have no further prospect in their thoughts
Of reason and invention then their notes;
And when they have been laid by and forgot,
Admire their parts anew, and put it out:
As he that wrote a sturdy musick book,
And never knew a note but those he took,
Discover'd nations to be brave or base
By their pronouncing I's and O's, and A's,
Determin'd poetry only by the feet,
No matter for the fancy, sense, and wit,
Came over to instruct the English nation,
And was not only paid with admiration,
But for his pains had all he would but ask for,
As Merchants Sell glass-beads at Madagascar,
And th' Indian-company for paultry trinkets
Bring over Orient pearles, and pretious ingots.
To write down all that authours say upon't,
But have no further prospect in their thoughts
Of reason and invention then their notes;
And when they have been laid by and forgot,
Admire their parts anew, and put it out:
As he that wrote a sturdy musick book,
And never knew a note but those he took,
Discover'd nations to be brave or base
By their pronouncing I's and O's, and A's,
Determin'd poetry only by the feet,
No matter for the fancy, sense, and wit,
Came over to instruct the English nation,
And was not only paid with admiration,
But for his pains had all he would but ask for,
As Merchants Sell glass-beads at Madagascar,
And th' Indian-company for paultry trinkets
Bring over Orient pearles, and pretious ingots.
Whence writers of the later times produc'd
A list of all the Authors names they us'd,
That alphabetically trac'd begun
With Appian, and reach'd to Xenophon;
And tho' they never read one syllable
Of any one, their names prevail as well
To make them pass the publick test instead
Of learned men profound and deeply read.
A list of all the Authors names they us'd,
That alphabetically trac'd begun
With Appian, and reach'd to Xenophon;
And tho' they never read one syllable
Of any one, their names prevail as well
To make them pass the publick test instead
Of learned men profound and deeply read.
And like their Books in Librarys, their Braines
Are always tyd up, where they were in Chains:
For Scholle[r]s have no way to make a Thesis
Hold-out, untill th' have taken it to Pieces,
And when they would Determine False, or Tru;
'Tis but because Some other things are so.
And all their Art to make obscure things good
Depends on nothing but similitude.
A vanity that's not the least Ingredient
In th' Hotch-potch composition of a Pedant.
Are always tyd up, where they were in Chains:
For Scholle[r]s have no way to make a Thesis
Hold-out, untill th' have taken it to Pieces,
And when they would Determine False, or Tru;
'Tis but because Some other things are so.
And all their Art to make obscure things good
Depends on nothing but similitude.
A vanity that's not the least Ingredient
In th' Hotch-potch composition of a Pedant.
T' invent's a faculty that's given
By th' absolute free grace of heaven;
Which nature keeps in her disposing;
And all the arts of virtuosing
By industry can ne're attain to
By any human non obstante.
By th' absolute free grace of heaven;
Which nature keeps in her disposing;
And all the arts of virtuosing
By industry can ne're attain to
By any human non obstante.
Whence some have found out, how a Separate Ghost
In Furious Stormes, and Hurricans, is Tost.
Know what they use to Drink, and what they Eate
And what they suffer in the Cold, or Heate.
That use to write Stupendious Narrative[s]
Of all th' Adventures of their After-Lives;
Know what makes Form, and Matter stick together
As Boys weights with Sope, and Scraps of Leather,
Or two Stones ground with æqual Superficies
Are Difficultly to be Drawn to Pieces:
All which Demonstrated by D.E.F.
Among the Learned never miss Belief.
In Furious Stormes, and Hurricans, is Tost.
Know what they use to Drink, and what they Eate
And what they suffer in the Cold, or Heate.
406
Of all th' Adventures of their After-Lives;
Know what makes Form, and Matter stick together
As Boys weights with Sope, and Scraps of Leather,
Or two Stones ground with æqual Superficies
Are Difficultly to be Drawn to Pieces:
All which Demonstrated by D.E.F.
Among the Learned never miss Belief.
Learning and devotion
Adord when both were lesse then nothing
Had Colleges and Monasterys
Erected for their Seminaries,
But Scornd as soon as understood,
For Better's a Curst Fo to good,
And owe their Present maintenance
To former Ages of Ignorance.
Adord when both were lesse then nothing
Had Colleges and Monasterys
Erected for their Seminaries,
But Scornd as soon as understood,
For Better's a Curst Fo to good,
And owe their Present maintenance
To former Ages of Ignorance.
In Sciences have Just enough
To talk impertinently of.
Like Virtuosos and Industrious
The more their Aimes Appear Preposterous.
To talk impertinently of.
Like Virtuosos and Industrious
The more their Aimes Appear Preposterous.
Men are not Dumb, for want of Tongues, but Eares;
For nature lets none Speak, before he Heares:
To make them learne Good Manners, at th' expence
Of such a wonderful Convenience.
For Those that take (against her will) a Course
T' extend their Latitudes, grow worse, and worse,
A Crime as great, as to Remove the Bounds
That have been set to th' Property of Grounds.
For nature lets none Speak, before he Heares:
To make them learne Good Manners, at th' expence
Of such a wonderful Convenience.
For Those that take (against her will) a Course
T' extend their Latitudes, grow worse, and worse,
A Crime as great, as to Remove the Bounds
That have been set to th' Property of Grounds.
Arts and Sciences
Some Arts, and Sciences, are only Tooles
Which Students do their Busnes with, in Schools,
Although Great men have sayd, 'Tis more Abstruse
And Hard to understand 'em, then their use.
For, though they were Intended but in Order
To better things, few ever venture Further;
But as all Good Designs are so accurst,
The best intended often Prove the worst.
So what was meant t' Improve the world, quite Cross
Has turnd to its Calamity and loss.
For Scholers are but Jorny men to Nature
That shews them al their Tricks to Imitate her;
Though some mistake the Reason she Proposes
And make her Imitate their Virtuoso's;
Is both the Best, or worst way of Instructing
As men mistake or understand her Doctrine.
Which Students do their Busnes with, in Schools,
Although Great men have sayd, 'Tis more Abstruse
And Hard to understand 'em, then their use.
For, though they were Intended but in Order
To better things, few ever venture Further;
But as all Good Designs are so accurst,
The best intended often Prove the worst.
So what was meant t' Improve the world, quite Cross
Has turnd to its Calamity and loss.
For Scholers are but Jorny men to Nature
That shews them al their Tricks to Imitate her;
Though some mistake the Reason she Proposes
And make her Imitate their Virtuoso's;
Is both the Best, or worst way of Instructing
As men mistake or understand her Doctrine.
407
The French that Read anatomy-Lecturs
Upon the Lineaments of Pictures;
And by the Mussles of the Face,
Can tell what Thoughts the Dumbe thing has;
Could nere unrridle, by his Blinkes,
The Crafty Subtleties he thinke's.
Upon the Lineaments of Pictures;
And by the Mussles of the Face,
Can tell what Thoughts the Dumbe thing has;
Could nere unrridle, by his Blinkes,
The Crafty Subtleties he thinke's.
Draw Models of th' Invisible Mountain
That all Philosophy do's Contain,
Of which the Sons of Art make Landskips
And Copy out their unseen Transcripts.
That all Philosophy do's Contain,
Of which the Sons of Art make Landskips
And Copy out their unseen Transcripts.
As water thrown on sayles of ships
Serv Mariners for Spurs, and whips,
And, by opposing of their Course,
Do's make them sayl with greater force.
Serv Mariners for Spurs, and whips,
And, by opposing of their Course,
Do's make them sayl with greater force.
Was like those Virtuosos, that Condole
Their want of Breeding in a Publique School,
Where they, by Robbing Orchards, might have Got
The Cabal of Designe, Surprise, and Plot,
The Arts of Keeping Counsel with their Fellows
In time t' have gone forth Doctors at the Gallows;
Such Moral Laws of Judgment, wit, and Art
As good as those Tiberius made to fart
No doubt, are wondrous like t' improve Mankind
If th' are but halfe so wholsom, as the winde.
Their want of Breeding in a Publique School,
Where they, by Robbing Orchards, might have Got
The Cabal of Designe, Surprise, and Plot,
The Arts of Keeping Counsel with their Fellows
In time t' have gone forth Doctors at the Gallows;
Such Moral Laws of Judgment, wit, and Art
As good as those Tiberius made to fart
No doubt, are wondrous like t' improve Mankind
If th' are but halfe so wholsom, as the winde.
For Raritys in Art Mechanicall
Are most admird, when they are don in smal,
As th' Indians have Birds as smal as Bees
The[y] count their Greatest Curiosities.
Are most admird, when they are don in smal,
As th' Indians have Birds as smal as Bees
The[y] count their Greatest Curiosities.
That count it Art, to understand the Nomen
Cneus, or Gaius, of an antique Roman.
Cneus, or Gaius, of an antique Roman.
The Courtly Science
Of Application, and Complyance
Changd in the Cradle of the Arts
Like Soules, and Bodys by DesCartes,
Imployd the best Artificers
To Labour in their Trades, some years,
And, when h' had Learnd their Arts, deducted
And Stopt their Pay for b'ing Instructed,
And what he understood amiss
Past for their own Defaults, not his.
Made Rules and Fables to abstract
And Ad to evry matt'r of Fact,
As if the Art of Horsman-ship
Lay only in the Spur and whip.
Of Application, and Complyance
Changd in the Cradle of the Arts
Like Soules, and Bodys by DesCartes,
Imployd the best Artificers
To Labour in their Trades, some years,
And, when h' had Learnd their Arts, deducted
And Stopt their Pay for b'ing Instructed,
And what he understood amiss
Past for their own Defaults, not his.
Made Rules and Fables to abstract
And Ad to evry matt'r of Fact,
As if the Art of Horsman-ship
Lay only in the Spur and whip.
408
A Man of Eloquence and Stile,
He usd to polish much and File,
But had no further aime, then clothing
In Phrase Polite, and easy-Nothing,
Like Dressing Babies Spruce and Fine,
Although Deformd in ev'ry Line;
Espousd all Controversy of Course,
And understood for bett'r or worse.
He usd to polish much and File,
But had no further aime, then clothing
In Phrase Polite, and easy-Nothing,
Like Dressing Babies Spruce and Fine,
Although Deformd in ev'ry Line;
Espousd all Controversy of Course,
And understood for bett'r or worse.
And when he Playd his Tricks would stoop
As low as Tumblers through a Hoop,
Would make his Application Humbler
Then a Two-legd, or a Four-legd Tumbler,
As Mastive's on their Bellys Creepe
To get a Bul upon the Hip,
With all submission and Address
Approach his High-and-Mightines,
Until th' are got within his Guards
And then they fasten their Petards.
As low as Tumblers through a Hoop,
Would make his Application Humbler
Then a Two-legd, or a Four-legd Tumbler,
As Mastive's on their Bellys Creepe
To get a Bul upon the Hip,
With all submission and Address
Approach his High-and-Mightines,
Until th' are got within his Guards
And then they fasten their Petards.
The greatest Part of Learning's only meant
For Curiosity, and Ornament;
And therefor most Pretending Virtuosos
Like Indians bore their Lips and Flat their Noses,
When 'tis their Artificial want of wit,
That Spoyls their work, instead of mending it.
For Curiosity, and Ornament;
And therefor most Pretending Virtuosos
Like Indians bore their Lips and Flat their Noses,
When 'tis their Artificial want of wit,
That Spoyls their work, instead of mending it.
He that would Pass for Learnd and Polite
Must never Speak a vulgar word or write.
Must never Speak a vulgar word or write.
For Arts and Sciences were over-don
Before in Schools they came to be ful-grown,
And since their Best Designes have been no more
But to Retrench what was too much before,
Or else that Pædant was a Ninni hammer
That wrote two thousand Books of th' Art of Grammer.
Before in Schools they came to be ful-grown,
And since their Best Designes have been no more
But to Retrench what was too much before,
Or else that Pædant was a Ninni hammer
That wrote two thousand Books of th' Art of Grammer.
For there are more Anomalies in Reason
Then in a Schoolboys Difficultest Lesson,
That will not be obedient to Rules,
Nor own the Jurisdiction of the Schooles.
Then in a Schoolboys Difficultest Lesson,
That will not be obedient to Rules,
Nor own the Jurisdiction of the Schooles.
What but Powder of its own
Can give a Luster to a Stone?
Can give a Luster to a Stone?
For what's an Anchor but a Hook
With which the Greatest Ship is took?
With which the Greatest Ship is took?
Hieroglyphiques Th' Idiom
And Language of the Deaf and Dumbe.
And Language of the Deaf and Dumbe.
409
Pædants
An Elephant['s] Proboscis is a Paw
That serv's him, to lay hold, and Pul, and draw.
That serv's him, to lay hold, and Pul, and draw.
For when the Comment Creeps into the Texts
No Critique such a Desprat Flaw Corrects.
No Critique such a Desprat Flaw Corrects.
An Amorous Pædant at the same Time whips
And makes Adresses to the School Boys hipes
And when the Poor Delinquent cannot Pearce
Apply[s] his services to Madam ------
And, haveing had his Solace for a while,
Waytes till his Happy Stars againe shall smile.
And makes Adresses to the School Boys hipes
And when the Poor Delinquent cannot Pearce
Apply[s] his services to Madam ------
And, haveing had his Solace for a while,
Waytes till his Happy Stars againe shall smile.
Are unconcernd in Insides of their Books
As some unsight unseen buy Pigs in Pokes
And German Authors usd to set a Price
Upon their works, according to the Size.
As some unsight unseen buy Pigs in Pokes
And German Authors usd to set a Price
Upon their works, according to the Size.
When all his Study is t' appeare at once
To Idiots Learnd, and to the Learnd a Dunce.
To Idiots Learnd, and to the Learnd a Dunce.
That most unnaturally forcd their Brain
In all they undertake against the Grain,
As Carts draw Horses down the Steepest Hils
Tho with their Natral Legs tyd up their wheels.
In all they undertake against the Grain,
As Carts draw Horses down the Steepest Hils
Tho with their Natral Legs tyd up their wheels.
For evry Language has an Idiom,
That's only Graceful when it is at Home.
Yet Pædants falsly think, it never Pleases
So fully, as in Forraine Modes, and Dresses.
That's only Graceful when it is at Home.
Yet Pædants falsly think, it never Pleases
So fully, as in Forraine Modes, and Dresses.
The many Inconveniences they Run,
Between their Tutors folly, and their own:
Has been the Cause, That greater Stores of Fooles
Have not been Changd i' th' Cradle then the Schools.
That Breed up youth to expiate the Curse,
Prepostrously, by making of it worse;
Take Paines to Reconcyle those Languages
That first had been Divided, for its Ease.
Between their Tutors folly, and their own:
Has been the Cause, That greater Stores of Fooles
Have not been Changd i' th' Cradle then the Schools.
That Breed up youth to expiate the Curse,
Prepostrously, by making of it worse;
Take Paines to Reconcyle those Languages
That first had been Divided, for its Ease.
For Jesuites are the Regularest Pædants
Bred, all their Lives, like Schoolboys, in Obedience
And Dare not own a word of Truth, or Reason
Unles it be Prescribd 'em for a Lesson.
Bred, all their Lives, like Schoolboys, in Obedience
And Dare not own a word of Truth, or Reason
Unles it be Prescribd 'em for a Lesson.
Some use to write a Treatise in a Letter
With half a Reame of Paper in't and Better,
Enough to Fill the Largest Pacquet-male[s]
That ere were sent to th' Jesuits-Generals.
With half a Reame of Paper in't and Better,
Enough to Fill the Largest Pacquet-male[s]
That ere were sent to th' Jesuits-Generals.
410
Northern Pædagogues
Are brought to their Perfection, by the Lugs,
As Large as Hounds to Keep their Hearing Close
From Hindring, and Diverting of the Nose.
Are brought to their Perfection, by the Lugs,
As Large as Hounds to Keep their Hearing Close
From Hindring, and Diverting of the Nose.
Virtuoso
That think unjustly to deny
A Traveller his Right to Ly,
Or Virtuosos Free Command
Things how they please to understand.
A Traveller his Right to Ly,
Or Virtuosos Free Command
Things how they please to understand.
As silly as b' a weathercock
To think to finde out what's a Clock.
To think to finde out what's a Clock.
As Antient Statues without Arms or Noses
Are Reverencd for their Age by virtuosos.
Are Reverencd for their Age by virtuosos.
Whence some believe Ægyptian Hieroglyphyques
Are all that's left of Natural Specifiques;
When evry Letter Signifyd the Nature
Of Beasts, and Birds, and Fishes in the water;
Which made the Antients Celebrate an Owl
For th' only Proper Philosophique Foul.
Are all that's left of Natural Specifiques;
When evry Letter Signifyd the Nature
Of Beasts, and Birds, and Fishes in the water;
Which made the Antients Celebrate an Owl
For th' only Proper Philosophique Foul.
Of time take measure with a string
And make it measure any thing.
And make it measure any thing.
As modern Painters take it for a Glory
To steal a Posture, or a Limb in Story,
And use it as an Argument they Come
Nearest to some Old Greek they stele it from.
To steal a Posture, or a Limb in Story,
And use it as an Argument they Come
Nearest to some Old Greek they stele it from.
Who, by the smutty Coullers or the Fair,
Can only Judge how New or old they are;
Whence some, by being smokd like hams of Bacon,
For Antique Masters Hands have been mistaken
By those who have no Notion of the lines,
The only Rule to Judge of tru Designes.
Can only Judge how New or old they are;
Whence some, by being smokd like hams of Bacon,
For Antique Masters Hands have been mistaken
By those who have no Notion of the lines,
The only Rule to Judge of tru Designes.
Antiquity
And when there is no Natral Difference
Betwene the Antique and the modern Sense
Admire the Excellencies of the one,
And as Implicitly Cry th' other down;
[Ap]prove of nothing til 'tis out of Date,
[As] Drownd Men use to Swim, when 'tis too late.
Betwene the Antique and the modern Sense
Admire the Excellencies of the one,
And as Implicitly Cry th' other down;
[Ap]prove of nothing til 'tis out of Date,
[As] Drownd Men use to Swim, when 'tis too late.
411
An Antiquary's better Pleasd with viewing
A Prospect of some venerable Ruine
Then if it stood as firm and undefacd
As if it had not bee[n] s' antiquely raisd.
A Prospect of some venerable Ruine
Then if it stood as firm and undefacd
As if it had not bee[n] s' antiquely raisd.
For tho the Critiques, finde no Flaws of Sense
In all the writings, of the Antients,
Or if they did; Nere offerd to correct
A Plain, and most Notorious Defect.
But chargd it all upon the Ignorance,
And careles Errors of Librarians,
Yet in their works, th' are found, as Plentifull
As modern Authors, of mistake, and Bull.
Who take no Notice, where an Over-sight is,
Like him that cald th' Athenians Quirites:
Or he that gave Atrides Methridate
Some thousand yeares before it's first Receipt.
Were fain t' erect a Chancery of Figures,
To Over-Rule the Peevish Critiques Rigors,
That when the Learnd, were Guilty of a Flaw,
Against the Sense, and Letter, of the Law,
Th' Offender, by the known Rules of the Court
Might be Relievd, and stand ackwitted For't.
Which since has been allowd of, for a Trick
In æquity, and held for Rhetorique.
In all the writings, of the Antients,
Or if they did; Nere offerd to correct
A Plain, and most Notorious Defect.
But chargd it all upon the Ignorance,
And careles Errors of Librarians,
Yet in their works, th' are found, as Plentifull
As modern Authors, of mistake, and Bull.
Who take no Notice, where an Over-sight is,
Like him that cald th' Athenians Quirites:
Or he that gave Atrides Methridate
Some thousand yeares before it's first Receipt.
Were fain t' erect a Chancery of Figures,
To Over-Rule the Peevish Critiques Rigors,
That when the Learnd, were Guilty of a Flaw,
Against the Sense, and Letter, of the Law,
Th' Offender, by the known Rules of the Court
Might be Relievd, and stand ackwitted For't.
Which since has been allowd of, for a Trick
In æquity, and held for Rhetorique.
For had the Antients had the luck to know
Our way of Binding Books that's Practicd now,
The world had never lost so many Pieces
Of Celebrated Authors as it misses.
Our way of Binding Books that's Practicd now,
The world had never lost so many Pieces
Of Celebrated Authors as it misses.
History
The Saxons rooted al Religion out
And afterward became the most Devout.
And afterward became the most Devout.
The Barbarous Goth, and savage Hun
Could by no Human Power be won
T' indure Civility, and Artes
Til th' had destroyd 'em in al Parts.
Could by no Human Power be won
T' indure Civility, and Artes
Til th' had destroyd 'em in al Parts.
So Paul the second was no sooner made
Christ Vicar, from a Merchant by his trade,
But he convicted those of Heresy
That did but Name an university.
Christ Vicar, from a Merchant by his trade,
But he convicted those of Heresy
That did but Name an university.
Like the French Hercules, and as strong
In all the Labours of the Tongue.
In all the Labours of the Tongue.
412
As Socrates stood Day, and Night
In one Stiff Posture Bolt upright.
In one Stiff Posture Bolt upright.
That for their goodly length and Space
Are of the true Arcadian Race.
Are of the true Arcadian Race.
Like Alexanders Steward Demophon,
Scorchd in the Shade, and Frozen in the Sun.
Scorchd in the Shade, and Frozen in the Sun.
The antient Greeks, kept constantly their Guards
To save, from Storms of Hayle, their viniards;
And when the least Suspected Cloud Appeard,
T' avert the Tempest, sacrificd a Bird.
To save, from Storms of Hayle, their viniards;
And when the least Suspected Cloud Appeard,
T' avert the Tempest, sacrificd a Bird.
King Harry the eighth had many a Mistress
And yet there's no News of their Names in Historys.
And yet there's no News of their Names in Historys.
As he that made his Queen to ride
Naked through Coventry astryde.
Naked through Coventry astryde.
Like Chinese Ladys where the Fair and comely
Are faine to pay the Portions of the Homely.
Are faine to pay the Portions of the Homely.
Th' Americans had no wit, and less Beard,
When to the first Discovrers, th' Appeard.
When to the first Discovrers, th' Appeard.
In Spain the greatest Ladys that Ly in
Are fancyd with Rich Presents by their kin,
And for their Paines in serving of the State
Are Payd in Duckatoons and Lumps of Plate:
So are their Ladys, when they are let Bloud,
As if They had spent it, for their Cuntry's good.
Are fancyd with Rich Presents by their kin,
And for their Paines in serving of the State
Are Payd in Duckatoons and Lumps of Plate:
So are their Ladys, when they are let Bloud,
As if They had spent it, for their Cuntry's good.
The Antient Romans tooke great Care
To match, and Size, and pair
Their Varlets, as we do a Coach horse or a mare;
And were as Curious to see,
Their Statures and their Cullers just agree,
To fit the Black and brown and Sorrel haire
And Critically Size
Their Beards, their Noses, and their eies.
To match, and Size, and pair
Their Varlets, as we do a Coach horse or a mare;
And were as Curious to see,
Their Statures and their Cullers just agree,
To fit the Black and brown and Sorrel haire
And Critically Size
Their Beards, their Noses, and their eies.
As Probable as that of Guicciardine,
Who at Bolognia write they sprung a Mine
So great, and high, That those that were within
By those without, might Perfectly be seene;
And yet the wal fell in the same Place
It stood before, and so dos, to our Days;
Which makes some doubt how much a smoke of Powder
Should be transparant to the Comon Souldier.
Who at Bolognia write they sprung a Mine
So great, and high, That those that were within
By those without, might Perfectly be seene;
And yet the wal fell in the same Place
It stood before, and so dos, to our Days;
Which makes some doubt how much a smoke of Powder
Should be transparant to the Comon Souldier.
413
Absurdities
A Man of Stile, and Eloquence
Although as far from wit and Sense
As He that made a house deliver
A long Oration to a River.
Although as far from wit and Sense
As He that made a house deliver
A long Oration to a River.
As if the Devil to make Proof
He's a clean Beast, should shew his Cloven-hoof.
He's a clean Beast, should shew his Cloven-hoof.
As Just as 'twas for Burning Paules
To build it with excise on Coales.
To build it with excise on Coales.
Made an Empty Noyse with words
As Fencers stamp upon the Boards,
To Daunt the Enemy with th' Sound
But go's for nothing on the Ground.
As Fencers stamp upon the Boards,
To Daunt the Enemy with th' Sound
But go's for nothing on the Ground.
Mistake the Meanes for th' Ends of Life,
And like the Prussian eate a knife.
And like the Prussian eate a knife.
Swift as two Taylors Run a Race
At sewing twenty Score of Lace.
At sewing twenty Score of Lace.
A Trible
More silly then a Statesman Quibble.
More silly then a Statesman Quibble.
As Curiously as Paper wasts in Print
When evry Page has weight, and measure In't.
When evry Page has weight, and measure In't.
And when th' have cald them by another Name
Perswade themselves th' are Really the Same.
Perswade themselves th' are Really the Same.
As Brisk and Frolique in a Smoking-shop
As Swallows are upon a Chimnys-top.
As Swallows are upon a Chimnys-top.
As Horses when th' are Spurd and prickd
But kick again, for being kickd.
But kick again, for being kickd.
All Cattle use, the shorter
Their Commons are, to feed the Heartier.
Their Commons are, to feed the Heartier.
Custome
Custom, that Fatal Epidemique AchWhich all mankinde of one another Catch
As in the Alphabet; No Letters
Take place of one another, as their Better[s]
But only use and Custome makes th' As
Of all their Equall Followers take Place.
For nothing is so Infamous, and Shameful
But may be vindicated by Example.
414
Opinion
Opinions held by Custome and Prescription
As Legally as Reason and Conviction:
As Greatest Nonsense serv's for Tearms of Art
The Mysterys of Science to Impart;
When, if th' had been agreed on, Hum, and Buz
Had don the Feat as wel, or Mumpsimus:
For Sense has less to do, with Tearms of Arts
Then Spades with Diamonds, or Clubs with Hearts.
As Legally as Reason and Conviction:
As Greatest Nonsense serv's for Tearms of Art
The Mysterys of Science to Impart;
When, if th' had been agreed on, Hum, and Buz
Had don the Feat as wel, or Mumpsimus:
For Sense has less to do, with Tearms of Arts
Then Spades with Diamonds, or Clubs with Hearts.
For as a Noose, the more 'tis Puld
Is wont to take the Faster hold,
So his Opinions allwayes far'd,
The more th' were Hammerd, grew more hard:
For confidence is nere so strong
As when 'tis Certainst in the wrong
Is wont to take the Faster hold,
So his Opinions allwayes far'd,
The more th' were Hammerd, grew more hard:
For confidence is nere so strong
As when 'tis Certainst in the wrong
Folly
Those that have to do with Fooles
Must turn themselves t' as very owles.
Must turn themselves t' as very owles.
Sober Folly is the worst
Of all Sorts, and the most Accurst.
Of all Sorts, and the most Accurst.
An Idiot is but an Almes at Court
The King bestows on those that aske him for't.
The King bestows on those that aske him for't.
For Idiots (Anatomists Maintaine)
Have no Commerce, between the Heart and Braine.
Have no Commerce, between the Heart and Braine.
For no exact and true Proposition Pleases
The Ignorant, like Pretty uglinesses,
That serv's to set an Edge on Fancy with
As vineger and Sowr Fruit do's the teeth.
The Ignorant, like Pretty uglinesses,
That serv's to set an Edge on Fancy with
As vineger and Sowr Fruit do's the teeth.
No wonder Ignorance is Counted Holy,
Credulity it self's the Nurse of Folly,
Or (as some say) a medcine to anoynt
And Ease the Torment of a Gouty Joynt,
When most mens memorys are found so Dul
They cannot think on Death without a Scul.
Credulity it self's the Nurse of Folly,
Or (as some say) a medcine to anoynt
And Ease the Torment of a Gouty Joynt,
When most mens memorys are found so Dul
They cannot think on Death without a Scul.
A Mad man Seldom forfets al his wits
Without some Intervals Between their Fits.
Without some Intervals Between their Fits.
Eternal talking's but an overheat
O' th' Brain, as some put rume in Parrot's meat.
O' th' Brain, as some put rume in Parrot's meat.
415
Nonsense
As By-blows having Right to more then one
Presumptive father, Legally have none.
Presumptive father, Legally have none.
For those that undertake to Teach, have less
Then other men of that which they Profess;
For commonly the greatest Folly's wont
To be Cast up, and Placd to their account;
And all the Freaks and madnes of a noddy
Ascribd to nothing but th' excess of Study;
As 'tis the Constant Nature of Excess
In any thing to turn to a Diseas;
As Monsters seldom have been found to Neede
A Natural Limb, but Frequently t' exceed.
Then other men of that which they Profess;
For commonly the greatest Folly's wont
To be Cast up, and Placd to their account;
And all the Freaks and madnes of a noddy
Ascribd to nothing but th' excess of Study;
As 'tis the Constant Nature of Excess
In any thing to turn to a Diseas;
As Monsters seldom have been found to Neede
A Natural Limb, but Frequently t' exceed.
Truth
For Truth in Morals and Mythologies
With its own weapons Passes upon Lys.
With its own weapons Passes upon Lys.
What more Prodigious wonder can appeare
Then Naked Truth would to a Princes Eare,
Whose Interests and wills b'ing inconsistents
Th' are by their Ministers kept at a Distance?
For Truth and Princes are Antagonists,
That only meet t' incounter in the lists,
And both are sayd t' have made Confederacies
With wine and women ------ Allies:
For Truth has always been a Friend to wine
And Kings with women Natrally Combine.
Then Naked Truth would to a Princes Eare,
Whose Interests and wills b'ing inconsistents
Th' are by their Ministers kept at a Distance?
For Truth and Princes are Antagonists,
That only meet t' incounter in the lists,
And both are sayd t' have made Confederacies
With wine and women ------ Allies:
For Truth has always been a Friend to wine
And Kings with women Natrally Combine.
Reason is but the ------ way to Truth,
Which seldom has been understood in Youth,
That think they have a greater Latitude
Ore Tru and False then Travellers allowd,
That Fancy Things are not to be Receivd
Because th' are Tru, but as they are Believd.
Which seldom has been understood in Youth,
That think they have a greater Latitude
Ore Tru and False then Travellers allowd,
That Fancy Things are not to be Receivd
Because th' are Tru, but as they are Believd.
Physique
There was a Doctor, That with Sturdy Paines,
And many years vexation of his Braines:
Believ'd H' had found-out, (As they call their Guesses,)
An Universall Cure, for all Diseases;
And now Durst challenge Death to do it's worst,
And Meet him at more woepons, if it durst,
Then ever Charletan, upon a wall,
Did Post him up, to Play a Prize with all.
And Rout him Easily, at all the Ills,
With which the Coward clogs the weekly Bills:
This b'ing Resolvd, He now began to count
To what his Fees, would in a yeare Amount:
And found 'em Rise (each Malady b'ing ceast
One with another) rather with the Least
Then Over-Rated, To a Sum more vast,
Then all the Publique Thieverys could wast.
Some times He thought of Building Hospitalls
And setting-up his Name, upon the wals,
Where those of all Professions, that had livd
By Physique formerly, might be, Relievd.
But then he Guest; That would but make them worse,
And hinder some to take a Better Course.
For those Endowments allways are Possest,
By none but those, that have deservd the[m] Least;
And therefore Rather Pitcht on Colledges
Where Lazy Drones might Study Sleep and Ease
And Dunces, that are Fit for nothing else
Might loose their time, Industriously in Cels;
But then He cald to minde, there are such Store
Of those Already, that to Set up more,
Where Greater Numbers Freely might Retreat,
And take Degrees, to Loyter, sleep, and Eate;
The Church, and State, in Time, might want Supplys
Of Able Men to be Imployd, and Rise,
And forcd to take in, tho against their Hearts,
Men of Indiffrent Honesty and Parts.
And many years vexation of his Braines:
Believ'd H' had found-out, (As they call their Guesses,)
An Universall Cure, for all Diseases;
And now Durst challenge Death to do it's worst,
And Meet him at more woepons, if it durst,
416
Did Post him up, to Play a Prize with all.
And Rout him Easily, at all the Ills,
With which the Coward clogs the weekly Bills:
This b'ing Resolvd, He now began to count
To what his Fees, would in a yeare Amount:
And found 'em Rise (each Malady b'ing ceast
One with another) rather with the Least
Then Over-Rated, To a Sum more vast,
Then all the Publique Thieverys could wast.
Some times He thought of Building Hospitalls
And setting-up his Name, upon the wals,
Where those of all Professions, that had livd
By Physique formerly, might be, Relievd.
But then he Guest; That would but make them worse,
And hinder some to take a Better Course.
For those Endowments allways are Possest,
By none but those, that have deservd the[m] Least;
And therefore Rather Pitcht on Colledges
Where Lazy Drones might Study Sleep and Ease
And Dunces, that are Fit for nothing else
Might loose their time, Industriously in Cels;
But then He cald to minde, there are such Store
Of those Already, that to Set up more,
Where Greater Numbers Freely might Retreat,
And take Degrees, to Loyter, sleep, and Eate;
The Church, and State, in Time, might want Supplys
Of Able Men to be Imployd, and Rise,
And forcd to take in, tho against their Hearts,
Men of Indiffrent Honesty and Parts.
One Afternoone, His wife unsatisfyd
With what her Share amounted, to Divide;
Who had endowd her, with some slight Disease,
To buy her Pins, and Trinquets, with her Fees:
After a Feind and Counterfet Caress
Of False, and Artificial Tendernes,
She thought, at last to whedle, and Trepan
Of some Maladies the Good old Man,
And told him in a Childs Affected Tone,
She must have more Diseases of her own;
For those she had already would not bring
The Money in; as tru as any thing.
And therefore some small Gruntling must to adjust
The Sum, b' allowd, Indeed, my Deare, it must,
Altho my only Naming of a Sum
Has made thee look a little Tiny-Grum;
For when but two are Buryd in a week,
It is not like that many should be sick.
And when Diseases happen to fall short
I am not like to fare the Better for't.
What Times were Those! Had wee but had it then
When evry week eight Thou[sa]nd Dyd, or Ten!
And when we shal againe have such a Season,
I see but little Hopes, we have, in Reason:
And therefor, as I sayd, some Paultry Aile
Must be Allowd for what is like to Fail.
With what her Share amounted, to Divide;
Who had endowd her, with some slight Disease,
To buy her Pins, and Trinquets, with her Fees:
After a Feind and Counterfet Caress
Of False, and Artificial Tendernes,
She thought, at last to whedle, and Trepan
Of some Maladies the Good old Man,
And told him in a Childs Affected Tone,
She must have more Diseases of her own;
For those she had already would not bring
The Money in; as tru as any thing.
And therefore some small Gruntling must to adjust
The Sum, b' allowd, Indeed, my Deare, it must,
Altho my only Naming of a Sum
Has made thee look a little Tiny-Grum;
For when but two are Buryd in a week,
It is not like that many should be sick.
And when Diseases happen to fall short
417
What Times were Those! Had wee but had it then
When evry week eight Thou[sa]nd Dyd, or Ten!
And when we shal againe have such a Season,
I see but little Hopes, we have, in Reason:
And therefor, as I sayd, some Paultry Aile
Must be Allowd for what is like to Fail.
Quoth he! That Mad Extravagance, The Pique
Of which your Sex Perpetuall is Sick,
That Longs for what, was never meant, for Food:
And Loath's as much the wholsom, and the Good:
I finde is Proof against the Greatest Pow'r
Of Medcine, though my universall Cure:
Is still unsatisfid in some Defects
And Faylings, of our Better Temperd Sex.
And Still, The Expectation of Fruition
Determines in as Vaine, and Idle wishing.
Have I not Freely given thee the Meazles,
With one as Rich and Hopeful a Disease else?
Only to buy thee Pins, and to Defray
The Charg of Trinkets, to be Thrown away?
That b'ing cast-up, have been found-out to cleare
(All Charges Born) Two Thousand Pounds a year.
And is not that Eno[u]gh to beare Expences
Of little Trifles and Impertinences?
At this Rate Nothing's Able to hold out
Untill, at last, thou Hast my Pox, and Gout.
Of which your Sex Perpetuall is Sick,
That Longs for what, was never meant, for Food:
And Loath's as much the wholsom, and the Good:
I finde is Proof against the Greatest Pow'r
Of Medcine, though my universall Cure:
Is still unsatisfid in some Defects
And Faylings, of our Better Temperd Sex.
And Still, The Expectation of Fruition
Determines in as Vaine, and Idle wishing.
Have I not Freely given thee the Meazles,
With one as Rich and Hopeful a Disease else?
Only to buy thee Pins, and to Defray
The Charg of Trinkets, to be Thrown away?
That b'ing cast-up, have been found-out to cleare
(All Charges Born) Two Thousand Pounds a year.
And is not that Eno[u]gh to beare Expences
Of little Trifles and Impertinences?
At this Rate Nothing's Able to hold out
Untill, at last, thou Hast my Pox, and Gout.
I thought (Quoth She) you had not been so Nice
Of Little Beggerly Infirmities.
At least if you consider who it was
That made your Credit first and medcine Pass,
When all the Dose of Ginger bread and Manna
And Isinglas, were but a Pen'north ana,
Or who it was, First supplyd your Tub
With Jorny-work, and brought in many a Job,
Helped you to Patient-makers, of the Trade
That trusted you to take off all they made,
Who payd your Rent? the Apothecary's Bribe?
H' allows of Course to all that but Prescribe?
That did not only Furnish the Disease,
But had you Freely Payd your Bills, and Fees:
When all your Busness was to talke of Symptomes,
Tho but of Th' Itch, and Meazles, or the Grincomes.
Of Little Beggerly Infirmities.
At least if you consider who it was
That made your Credit first and medcine Pass,
When all the Dose of Ginger bread and Manna
And Isinglas, were but a Pen'north ana,
Or who it was, First supplyd your Tub
With Jorny-work, and brought in many a Job,
Helped you to Patient-makers, of the Trade
That trusted you to take off all they made,
Who payd your Rent? the Apothecary's Bribe?
H' allows of Course to all that but Prescribe?
That did not only Furnish the Disease,
But had you Freely Payd your Bills, and Fees:
When all your Busness was to talke of Symptomes,
Tho but of Th' Itch, and Meazles, or the Grincomes.
'Tis tru Quoth he, this Little Shifting Course,
We have been forcd to take t' avoyd a worse:
And thou hast not been wanting for thy Part
In all a woman's wit can do or Art,
Nor must we wholly give it over, yet
Whatever 'tis our luck to loose, or Get.
It has by others frequently been don
And wilbe so againe, when we are Gone,
Which make's me Confident, The safest Shift
And Easiest way to bee brought about is Thrift.
Thou knowst the Charges of my House and Table
Must needs grow more, and more, considerable,
And much must be, in Projects that begin,
Layd out at first for Drawing vouchers in.
For when 'tis Nothing, but Discourse and Talke,
Wee ought as much for all things else Defalke:
And much in Reason is to be allowd
For making New Designes (beforehand) good.
Besides the vast Expences for Materialls,
Of Dead Mens Bones embalmd before their Burials:
Proportionable Hogs-heads of May-Dew,
That are not Like to be Supplyd b' a Few.
With Competent Allowance of the mixture,
Of th' universal Spirit, The Elixer.
And Sevrall Inches of the Long-streit-Line,
To which such wonders Natrallists Assigne;
With equal Doses of th' ossacrum-Luz,
Th' Immortall Redeviver of the Jews.
And Central Fire, that Persecutes the Species,
Of Plants, and Minerals to the Superficies:
With Astral Spirits, and Intelligences,
All Probable to multiply Expences.
With other strange Ingredients never known,
And therefore Like to go the better down.
But if our Medcine do but finde Success
We have been forcd to take t' avoyd a worse:
And thou hast not been wanting for thy Part
In all a woman's wit can do or Art,
Nor must we wholly give it over, yet
Whatever 'tis our luck to loose, or Get.
418
And wilbe so againe, when we are Gone,
Which make's me Confident, The safest Shift
And Easiest way to bee brought about is Thrift.
Thou knowst the Charges of my House and Table
Must needs grow more, and more, considerable,
And much must be, in Projects that begin,
Layd out at first for Drawing vouchers in.
For when 'tis Nothing, but Discourse and Talke,
Wee ought as much for all things else Defalke:
And much in Reason is to be allowd
For making New Designes (beforehand) good.
Besides the vast Expences for Materialls,
Of Dead Mens Bones embalmd before their Burials:
Proportionable Hogs-heads of May-Dew,
That are not Like to be Supplyd b' a Few.
With Competent Allowance of the mixture,
Of th' universal Spirit, The Elixer.
And Sevrall Inches of the Long-streit-Line,
To which such wonders Natrallists Assigne;
With equal Doses of th' ossacrum-Luz,
Th' Immortall Redeviver of the Jews.
And Central Fire, that Persecutes the Species,
Of Plants, and Minerals to the Superficies:
With Astral Spirits, and Intelligences,
All Probable to multiply Expences.
With other strange Ingredients never known,
And therefore Like to go the better down.
We shal not want for what supplys wee Please,
For all Inventions Difficult and Hard
Do seldom Miss a competent Reward.
But if it should unluckyly miscary,
Wee shal not want at least things Necessary.
For tho we commonly set-up so soon,
T'is Hard to Get in Practice, or be known:
Until w' have long applyd t' Apothecarys,
Nurse-keepers, Coffy-houses, Ordinarys,
All Sorts of Greatmens Laquais, and valets,
Only to Bayt our Hooks, and Spread our Nets;
Are sometimes forcd to Practice in Compliance
To others Humors, Things below the Science;
Have Tricks to set Diseases Back, and Aches
To Nicks of Idler times, Like Finger-watches,
And Prorogations to give Present Ease,
T' Adjorn, But not Recover a Disease,
With other curious Arts enough to live
In such Deare times, but not Grow Rich and thrive,
419
Kept Store of Cats, to furnish him with Fleas;
That, when they bit the Ladys, Did him service,
To Pass for Sharpnes of the Bloud, and Scurvies:
Or He that held mens inward Fabrique lay
To Justify Anatomy, one way,
And that Mankind was made to none effect
But only for a Surgeon to Dissect.
As He that came up then, to fetch down whores
To fill the Cuntry's Magazins with Stores
And fill his empty, and exhausted stocks
With fresh Recruits for Botches, and the Pox.
And, when th' Infected Chare-women had don't,
He curd their Manges on his own account
And sent them up to follow their occasions
And bring down New Recruits the next vacations.
For when Physitians were from Rome expeld
All sickly People, their Diseases heald
With eating Cole-worts only, simply taken,
Without the least Ingredient of Bacon.
When Health is at it's Height, 'Tis Naturall
It should Decline Immediately, and fall.
So Rings made of the Bones of Hippocamps,
Are Amulets against the Rage of Cramps.
He that would Cure a wound, must have a Care,
To keep it close, from taking of the Aire.
The least and most Innocuous of Diseases,
Is Desprater, the Nobler Part, it ceases.
Has more wounds then the Man, i' th' Almanack
Run through by all the Signs i' th' Zodiack.
When evry Spot, produces but the Name,
And Nothing else, of Plants, that are the same:
And Fruit-trees have as great a Difference,
In their Productions, to the Dullest Sense.
Whence 'tis so hard to meet with an Ingredient
That to our own Præscriptions, wilbe obedient.
For when a Plant Degenerat's t' a weed,
They freely Pass, in one another Stead,
An Antient Composition, and a Fresh,
Have æquall virtue, over a Disease:
That 'tis Impossible, t' administer,
To th' Itch, and Mange, with safety, and not Erre.
Beside the Dangerous Gibberish of Pædants
To learn the Bumbast-Names, of all Ingredients,
420
But must be Cur'd, in Latin, or in Greek,
For No Men love so Naturally to Dabble,
As those that Pass for Learnedish, and Able.
That can put down (in fustian) th' Ablest Brushers
Of hinder Parts, Inculcaters, and ushers.
So he that knew a Tayler, by his Stale,
Because with shreds, H' had stopt the urinalle.
And tho He understands no Medcines Name
He Know's them all by Sight, and Common fame.
And has so great opinion, of their Skill,
That he Dares trust 'em, to Destroy, or kill.
For those that Do no Hurt, at least, secure
Their Patients, from the Desperatst Fit, the Cure.
The Patient give's the Doctor, Half th' A[d]vice
That He Return's, and for his Fee, Apply's.
When he Informe's him, of the first Accesse
And Symptomatique Freakes, of the Disease,
And Lay's out nothing, but as weake Reflexions
Upon the Sickmans Tru, or False Directions,
But oft exchanges for some other Course
When he Perceiv's himself grow worse, and worse.
Who ever was a more frequented Doctor
Then th' Antient Trig? or late Inceptor Lockier?
Created out of nothing, but their own
And all the Rabble's mandate, of the Town.
And did their Exercices, with Chimeras
Not much below the Sorbonists vesperys,
That Post their Theses, on their Colledg-wals
With great mens Pictures, t' own 'em, tru or false.
A very visitant's an Operator,
That strives with Flams to Practice upon Nature,
Tells what a Friend of [his] had strangly sufferd
In that Distemper, but was now Recoverd,
Untill the Leech must be calld in, to Try
Th' experiment, and virtu, of a Ly,
Mean while the wretched Patient is set back
And Desperater Infirmity o' th' Quack.
For most Liefhebbers usuall Relapse
Upon the News of other Men's Escapes.
Especially, if the Medcines operation
Have but a Hint, of Supererrogation
Which, when it is cunningly Designd, and layd
Bring's in a great Advantage, to the Trade.
And those, that Practice it, Have found it yeilds
More Patients, then Padua, or More-fields.
421
Givn Caution, not to Practice on the Place.
As wounds in the left Leg, tho ere so slight,
Are Harder Cur'd, then Greater in the Right.
Nature
And as in Animals the smell
Is plac'd by Nature Sentinell
Upon the Mouth; To pass, or stay,
All Aliments that go that way.
Is plac'd by Nature Sentinell
Upon the Mouth; To pass, or stay,
All Aliments that go that way.
As Pliny's Partridges are sayd to Tread
Another Covey flying 'ore its Head.
Another Covey flying 'ore its Head.
So Beares (some write) are whelpd with Staring eies
As large as when they are at their largest cize,
Altho at first no bigger then a Rat,
Until they have been lickd up to their Height.
As large as when they are at their largest cize,
Altho at first no bigger then a Rat,
Until they have been lickd up to their Height.
Thunder the sole Artillery of Nature
Is Fird with Cold, and chargd with Ice, and water.
Thunder is Natures Demy-Canon-Piece
Dischargd by a Cold Antiperistasis.
It is in vain, and Ignorant to force
What Nature do's beyond her Constant Course,
That, when she's Idly over-chargd, Recoyles,
And all that's meant T' impose upon her, Spoyles.
The sea itself throws up the Beech and sand,
To Keep it from Incroaching on the Land,
And th' Amplest River's never wont to Rise
Above the Level, where it's fountaine Lys.
The smallest Parcel[s] of the universe
To all the Rest o' th' world are Forrainers,
To Human Nature and Mankind within
The Species only Hardly are of kin.
And what the one half's naturally for,
All others as Impetuously abhor.
Is Fird with Cold, and chargd with Ice, and water.
Thunder is Natures Demy-Canon-Piece
Dischargd by a Cold Antiperistasis.
It is in vain, and Ignorant to force
What Nature do's beyond her Constant Course,
That, when she's Idly over-chargd, Recoyles,
And all that's meant T' impose upon her, Spoyles.
The sea itself throws up the Beech and sand,
To Keep it from Incroaching on the Land,
And th' Amplest River's never wont to Rise
Above the Level, where it's fountaine Lys.
The smallest Parcel[s] of the universe
To all the Rest o' th' world are Forrainers,
To Human Nature and Mankind within
The Species only Hardly are of kin.
And what the one half's naturally for,
All others as Impetuously abhor.
For all the Ruggedst and most Desperat
Of Storms at Sea, are in a narrow strait.
Of Storms at Sea, are in a narrow strait.
A single Thumb can equal strength command
To all the Fellow-fingers, of the Hand.
To all the Fellow-fingers, of the Hand.
So lions hunt conducted by Jackalls
And little fishes steare the vastest whales.
And little fishes steare the vastest whales.
As men with little fishes, use to Bayt
Their Hooks, and Lines to tempt and catch the great.
Their Hooks, and Lines to tempt and catch the great.
422
Birds have but one Lid, to preserve their sight
From taking Hurt, when upon trees they light.
From taking Hurt, when upon trees they light.
As in the Middle of a River, Tides
Run Counter, to the Current of both Sides,
Against the Streames of Chanels, take their Course,
Where Th' are encounterd with the greater Force.
Run Counter, to the Current of both Sides,
Against the Streames of Chanels, take their Course,
Where Th' are encounterd with the greater Force.
The Sun drinks up the Bottom of the Seas
Before the Top, because it is more Fresh:
From whence it is the upper Superficies
Is only usd to prey on ships by Fishes.
Before the Top, because it is more Fresh:
From whence it is the upper Superficies
Is only usd to prey on ships by Fishes.
Great Rivers th[r]ough as spacious Lakes wil Flow
And never mix their waters, as they go.
And never mix their waters, as they go.
Tides do but Change the Natrall Al[t]itudes
And Constant Elevation of the Fluds.
And Constant Elevation of the Fluds.
As Gold and Silver's in the Basest Mine,
But 'tis not worth the Charges to Refine.
But 'tis not worth the Charges to Refine.
As Thistles satisfy an Ass
And serve for Sallets to his Grass,
Whose Rude, and undiscerning Pallate
Is fit enough, for such a Sallet.
And serve for Sallets to his Grass,
Whose Rude, and undiscerning Pallate
Is fit enough, for such a Sallet.
As by Antipathy Eagyptian Rats
When ere they meet, destroy and Strangle Cats.
When ere they meet, destroy and Strangle Cats.
London's serv'd with Fire by water
That both together serve all Nature.
That both together serve all Nature.
As sure as Tumbling of the sheets
The Death of men in mortal fits.
The Death of men in mortal fits.
As violent windes when th' are most fleet
In Motion, are affirmd to sit.
In Motion, are affirmd to sit.
As Natural as 'tis for Sots
T' Admire Phantastique Idiots.
T' Admire Phantastique Idiots.
Begotten by an Excrement
And born to give ease and Vent.
And born to give ease and Vent.
There is no Doubt of things that are Perpetual
And in a Constant Course of Nature Settle.
And in a Constant Course of Nature Settle.
So all the Backs of Fishes are by Nature
Dyd of the Native Culler of the water,
But all their Bellys, like the Airy Light
Of the upper Superficies, perfect white.
Dyd of the Native Culler of the water,
But all their Bellys, like the Airy Light
Of the upper Superficies, perfect white.
423
Chymistry
What wil not Pass for the Philosophers Stone?An Art that has no Language of it's own?
But is all Canting: a Confounded mixture
Of all things else, as Quintessence, Elixer,
A Spirit, and a water, and will Passe
For any other Thing, it never was.
Magique
The Irish never Pray a Cow or Horse,
But Spit upon it Constantly of Course,
To Keep it safe and sound against the Harms
Of witches Conjurations and their Charms.
But Spit upon it Constantly of Course,
To Keep it safe and sound against the Harms
Of witches Conjurations and their Charms.
For if the Devill Publiquely were known
His Deeds of Darkness never could be don:
And therefore 's Forc't to manage out of Sight,
His Hidden Principality of Night.
Whom evry Small Magician would Disarme,
And send upon his Errands, with a Charme;
And when his witches, are but ceizd upon,
He gives them over, to be Hangd for None.
And, tho H' was bid to get behinde by Christ,
Is chargd T' Avant before, b' an Exorcist;
That Bayts his Hook with Witches to Beguile,
And take 'em for his Croney-Imps a while,
That when the Time's expird, the false Deceiver
May take 'em in his vassellage for ever.
His Deeds of Darkness never could be don:
And therefore 's Forc't to manage out of Sight,
His Hidden Principality of Night.
Whom evry Small Magician would Disarme,
And send upon his Errands, with a Charme;
And when his witches, are but ceizd upon,
He gives them over, to be Hangd for None.
And, tho H' was bid to get behinde by Christ,
Is chargd T' Avant before, b' an Exorcist;
That Bayts his Hook with Witches to Beguile,
And take 'em for his Croney-Imps a while,
That when the Time's expird, the false Deceiver
May take 'em in his vassellage for ever.
The Antients usd to Draw th' Eumenides,
Th' Infernal Furys, in a Fœmall Dress.
Th' Infernal Furys, in a Fœmall Dress.
The Devill who was Hidden in a Barne,
And Thrash'd unmercifully in the Corne:
Durst take no Notice of the Blows, for Feare,
Of being worse usd, if H' had been taken there.
And Thrash'd unmercifully in the Corne:
Durst take no Notice of the Blows, for Feare,
Of being worse usd, if H' had been taken there.
For Fooles are but Familiars to themselves;
That serve the Cunning-men Instead of Elves:
And all their Magicall Contrivances,
Impose upon themselves, with greater ease.
With Drams of Opiats, and Narcotique Doses,
Intoxicate Besotted virtuosos,
Make Nets for Sub[t]le vermine in the Aire
Invisible as Snakes in vineger;
That use, to fetch, and carry, all Diseases,
And Spot Infected Bodys like Punaises;
Preserve 'em Ready Bottled-up in Glasses,
For all occasions, and Designes, and Places.
And vent in Blasts of Poysond winde,
Their Share of Mischief to Mankinde.
That serve the Cunning-men Instead of Elves:
And all their Magicall Contrivances,
Impose upon themselves, with greater ease.
With Drams of Opiats, and Narcotique Doses,
Intoxicate Besotted virtuosos,
Make Nets for Sub[t]le vermine in the Aire
Invisible as Snakes in vineger;
424
And Spot Infected Bodys like Punaises;
Preserve 'em Ready Bottled-up in Glasses,
For all occasions, and Designes, and Places.
And vent in Blasts of Poysond winde,
Their Share of Mischief to Mankinde.
Make Charms t' Inable Irish Ratcatchers
T' Inchant and Poyson vermine with, in verse.
T' Inchant and Poyson vermine with, in verse.
And these are th' original Traditions
Of th' Antient Incantations of Magitians
And all their Magicall Infatuations
But upstart Heresys, and Innovations.
Of th' Antient Incantations of Magitians
And all their Magicall Infatuations
But upstart Heresys, and Innovations.
As Learnd as those Great Doctors of the Chair
Among those Academiques of the Aire,
That Offerd to Dispute with Cardans Father
In Metaphysiques of the upper Æther;
From whence he grew a Deep Philosopher
As well as Mad man, and Astrologer,
And by their Nearer N[e]ighborhood, with the moon
Knew better, how those Mystique feats are don.
Among those Academiques of the Aire,
That Offerd to Dispute with Cardans Father
In Metaphysiques of the upper Æther;
From whence he grew a Deep Philosopher
As well as Mad man, and Astrologer,
And by their Nearer N[e]ighborhood, with the moon
Knew better, how those Mystique feats are don.
Astrology
How Planets in Conjunction, evry minute,
Are Chopt, and Changd, yet Do their Busnes in it:
While those, that since the worlds Originall
Have been unfixt, yet never Could forestall.
As 'tis Impertinent for cheats to fix
Among the understanders of their Tricks
But rather strive, To change the Aire, and stroule
To catch the Ignorant, and unwary foule:
Whence 'tis the Stars, that dwel in th' upper Æthers,
Have all their Intrests, only in the Neather:
And as their Influences are sayd by some
To give us, what they never had at home
So all their other operations, tend
To as Ridiculous, and vaine an End:
For there's no other work of Nature else
But æqually th' Events of things foretels.
As Monsters, that for nothing were Designd,
With Omens, and Prædictions stock Mankind:
And greatest Empires steard their Interests
With Flights of Birds, and Garbages of Beasts,
Or He that Future Earth-quakes Could foretell
By Feeling Mud, i' th' Bottom of a wel,
As true as Conjuring with Virgils verse,
T' unriddle all mens fates, and Characters:
For all the Stars Conjunctions, and Ecclipses
Prædict but Picking-Pockets, worse then Gypsies.
Are Chopt, and Changd, yet Do their Busnes in it:
While those, that since the worlds Originall
Have been unfixt, yet never Could forestall.
As 'tis Impertinent for cheats to fix
Among the understanders of their Tricks
But rather strive, To change the Aire, and stroule
To catch the Ignorant, and unwary foule:
Whence 'tis the Stars, that dwel in th' upper Æthers,
Have all their Intrests, only in the Neather:
And as their Influences are sayd by some
To give us, what they never had at home
So all their other operations, tend
To as Ridiculous, and vaine an End:
For there's no other work of Nature else
But æqually th' Events of things foretels.
As Monsters, that for nothing were Designd,
With Omens, and Prædictions stock Mankind:
And greatest Empires steard their Interests
With Flights of Birds, and Garbages of Beasts,
425
By Feeling Mud, i' th' Bottom of a wel,
As true as Conjuring with Virgils verse,
T' unriddle all mens fates, and Characters:
For all the Stars Conjunctions, and Ecclipses
Prædict but Picking-Pockets, worse then Gypsies.
The Sun, and Moon, in Heaven, at so vast
A Geometrique Distance, have been Plact
That all their Different Dimensions, Here
Do of a seeming Magnitude, appeare.
Some make the Sun to th' under-Earth draw neare
So many Scores of his Diameter,
But cannot tell, If th' Antients Days, and Houres,
Were of a lesse, or Greater Length, the[n] ours:
But have no more Ground, then Astrologers,
Have for their worms, and magots of the Stars.
But have less Sense, for all they undertake
Then all their Frenzys in the Zodiack.
A Geometrique Distance, have been Plact
That all their Different Dimensions, Here
Do of a seeming Magnitude, appeare.
Some make the Sun to th' under-Earth draw neare
So many Scores of his Diameter,
But cannot tell, If th' Antients Days, and Houres,
Were of a lesse, or Greater Length, the[n] ours:
But have no more Ground, then Astrologers,
Have for their worms, and magots of the Stars.
But have less Sense, for all they undertake
Then all their Frenzys in the Zodiack.
And if the Heavns be but one Constellation,
As all to Any, have the same Relation,
(Except those Few Erroneous Vagabonds,
With which, The Earth, as falsly Corresponds)
The whole to all the Rest may Freely clame
An æquall Property, beside th[e] Name.
As all to Any, have the same Relation,
(Except those Few Erroneous Vagabonds,
With which, The Earth, as falsly Corresponds)
The whole to all the Rest may Freely clame
An æquall Property, beside th[e] Name.
The Best Astrologers are always made
Of Crackt Mechaniques, of some other Trade.
And when the Planets are Designd to Erre,
How much more must the Dul Astrologer?
When those, He is to be directed by,
Are Namd from Fraud, Imposture, and a ly?
And have their most Erroneous Santrings made,
The Principles, and Basis of a Trade.
For Tradesmen, and Mechaniques are the Primest
And Best of all Astrologers and Chymists.
Of Crackt Mechaniques, of some other Trade.
And when the Planets are Designd to Erre,
How much more must the Dul Astrologer?
When those, He is to be directed by,
Are Namd from Fraud, Imposture, and a ly?
And have their most Erroneous Santrings made,
The Principles, and Basis of a Trade.
For Tradesmen, and Mechaniques are the Primest
And Best of all Astrologers and Chymists.
Only the Devil is, yourselves aver,
The most Profound, and Deep Astrologer:
With whom no other, ever durst compare,
For, as hee's Prince, and Sultan of the Aire:
Without whose Licence, and Commission had,
No Influences dare Presume to Trade,
For 'tis but Labour thrown away, T' Incline
Unless he give them, Special Quarentine:
And Hee, who Perfectst understands their use,
Do's æqually know where to Pick, and choose,
Then whether you Apply yourselvs to him:
This way, or any else; 'tis but a whim.
The most Profound, and Deep Astrologer:
With whom no other, ever durst compare,
For, as hee's Prince, and Sultan of the Aire:
Without whose Licence, and Commission had,
No Influences dare Presume to Trade,
For 'tis but Labour thrown away, T' Incline
Unless he give them, Special Quarentine:
And Hee, who Perfectst understands their use,
Do's æqually know where to Pick, and choose,
Then whether you Apply yourselvs to him:
This way, or any else; 'tis but a whim.
426
For whores, and Hectors, when th' are Past
Their Labour, and grown Old and Cast,
Turn Naturally, as the Imps
To other Harlots, Bawds, and Pimps.
Their Labour, and grown Old and Cast,
Turn Naturally, as the Imps
To other Harlots, Bawds, and Pimps.
As those that buy a Salmon-draught
Pay for the Fish, before 'tis Caught.
Pay for the Fish, before 'tis Caught.
Suppose a Figure Calculated,
The Geniture exactly stated:
Another of the Self-same Person
With æqual care, and Animadversion
By way of Horary-Inspection,
Th' Effect, of this, or that Erection
Must be the very same; or else
The one, or both must need[s] be False.
The Geniture exactly stated:
Another of the Self-same Person
With æqual care, and Animadversion
By way of Horary-Inspection,
Th' Effect, of this, or that Erection
Must be the very same; or else
The one, or both must need[s] be False.
Or He that snapt the Guards of Jupiter,
And listed them to serve the Emperor.
When all the sevral ways of virtuosing
Are but a formal Sort, of Dry Deboshing:
Which made the A[n]tients Celebrat an Owle
As th' only Proper Philosophique Foul.
And listed them to serve the Emperor.
When all the sevral ways of virtuosing
Are but a formal Sort, of Dry Deboshing:
Which made the A[n]tients Celebrat an Owle
As th' only Proper Philosophique Foul.
For witches are no sooner taken
By their Treacherous Imps [forsaken],
And when by Law, th' are ceasd upon
Are only Hangd for being None.
As Empson with the sivs he wrought,
Could never finde his Fortune out.
By their Treacherous Imps [forsaken],
And when by Law, th' are ceasd upon
Are only Hangd for being None.
As Empson with the sivs he wrought,
Could never finde his Fortune out.
One Night the Sun far more obscures,
Then all th' Ecclipses He Endure's.
Then all th' Ecclipses He Endure's.
All Poynts of Heaven, are at Noone,
As soon as Entred by the Sun.
As soon as Entred by the Sun.
A Prophet has no need of Being wise
When all his Art, in Dreams, and visions Ly's.
When all his Art, in Dreams, and visions Ly's.
And like a Second sighted Scot
Could foresee, all the Heavens Plot.
Could foresee, all the Heavens Plot.
Did not Menippus mounted in the Moon,
Discover all, that upon Earth was don?
Or shee at th' Entrance of th' Ecclyps, foreshow
The Macedonians Kings overthrow?
And did not only make the Dire Portent
But was the Real Cause of the Event.
For th' Antient Romans, only by their Cuninge
In our Profession, stoutly overrunne him.
And if wee can th' Ecclyps it self foretell
Why should wee not th' Event of it, as well?
Discover all, that upon Earth was don?
Or shee at th' Entrance of th' Ecclyps, foreshow
The Macedonians Kings overthrow?
And did not only make the Dire Portent
But was the Real Cause of the Event.
For th' Antient Romans, only by their Cuninge
In our Profession, stoutly overrunne him.
And if wee can th' Ecclyps it self foretell
Why should wee not th' Event of it, as well?
427
Love
Love's but a Running of the Fancy,
A Clap of fond extravagancy,
That, if it be not stop'd in time,
Break's out in Botches of vile Rhime:
And when 'tis with Love-powder laden,
And prim'd and Cock'd by miss or Madam,
The smallest Sparkle of an eie
Give's fire to his Artilery.
A Clap of fond extravagancy,
That, if it be not stop'd in time,
Break's out in Botches of vile Rhime:
And when 'tis with Love-powder laden,
And prim'd and Cock'd by miss or Madam,
The smallest Sparkle of an eie
Give's fire to his Artilery.
Th' Arabian Goat Inragd and Furious turns
When any other Beast has touchd his Horns.
When any other Beast has touchd his Horns.
Some Love with Orenges, Boon Christians,
And some with Lemon-Pils and Citrons.
And some with Lemon-Pils and Citrons.
Loves Arrows are but shot at Rovers,
Though all they hit they turn to Lovers,
And all the Desprate Consequents
Depend upon as Blinde events,
As Gamsters, when they play a Set
With greatest Cunning at Piquet,
Put out with Caution, and take in
They know not what, unsight-unseen.
So Fairest Gamsters at the Banes
Take paines, and Plod to win by chance,
And study how to Draw a Prize
With greatest Skil at Lotteries.
Though all they hit they turn to Lovers,
And all the Desprate Consequents
Depend upon as Blinde events,
As Gamsters, when they play a Set
With greatest Cunning at Piquet,
Put out with Caution, and take in
They know not what, unsight-unseen.
So Fairest Gamsters at the Banes
Take paines, and Plod to win by chance,
And study how to Draw a Prize
With greatest Skil at Lotteries.
Like Bucephalus Brutish Honor
Would have none mount but the Right owner.
Would have none mount but the Right owner.
As Ladys, not to see nor heare
A Play, frequent the Theater,
But to be seen, and tempt some Squire
At a feigned Passion to take fire.
A Play, frequent the Theater,
But to be seen, and tempt some Squire
At a feigned Passion to take fire.
When by the swelling of the Girdle
The Lover findes his Soyl fertile.
The Lover findes his Soyl fertile.
Welth is all these, she that has that
Is any thing she would be at:
Wit, Bewty, honor, virtu, vice
Are always valu'd by the price;
For what are lips, and eies, and Teeth
Which Bewty fights and Conquers with,
But Rubys, pearles and Diamonds,
With which a Philter Love Compounds?
Or what is Hair but threads of gold
That Lovers Hearts in fetters hold?
Is any thing she would be at:
Wit, Bewty, honor, virtu, vice
Are always valu'd by the price;
For what are lips, and eies, and Teeth
Which Bewty fights and Conquers with,
But Rubys, pearles and Diamonds,
With which a Philter Love Compounds?
Or what is Hair but threads of gold
That Lovers Hearts in fetters hold?
428
Your eies are not two Pretious Stones
Nor twinkling Stars but radiant Suns,
That Dazle those that looke upon yee
And Scorch all other Ladys tawny.
Your Shining Hair of the same Fleece is
With that of Hev'nly Berenices;
Your Lips no Rubys, but the Staine
Of th' Hev'nly Dragons bloud in graine:
Your Teeth not Pearles but whiter far
Then those of th' heav'nly Dog-star.
Nor twinkling Stars but radiant Suns,
That Dazle those that looke upon yee
And Scorch all other Ladys tawny.
Your Shining Hair of the same Fleece is
With that of Hev'nly Berenices;
Your Lips no Rubys, but the Staine
Of th' Hev'nly Dragons bloud in graine:
Your Teeth not Pearles but whiter far
Then those of th' heav'nly Dog-star.
One who was still as warme with Love
As a Dutch-vrister keeps her Stove,
And weares in winter time between her thighs
To keep her Dyke from freezing with Ice,
But always fayld to hit his mark
Unless it were in Whetstones Park,
Where Lovers Arrows oft Rebound
And those that shoot at Random wound.
As a Dutch-vrister keeps her Stove,
And weares in winter time between her thighs
To keep her Dyke from freezing with Ice,
But always fayld to hit his mark
Unless it were in Whetstones Park,
Where Lovers Arrows oft Rebound
And those that shoot at Random wound.
As Irish Lovers use to make Adress
By Darting Rushes at their Mistresses,
That do more Execution then the Darts
And Bows and Arrows us'd to Conquer hearts.
By Darting Rushes at their Mistresses,
That do more Execution then the Darts
And Bows and Arrows us'd to Conquer hearts.
As Ladys of the Greatest Quality
Make Love themselves to those of less degree.
Make Love themselves to those of less degree.
For Love, that is both man and Beast,
Is equally with Both possest,
And like a Pythagorean Soul,
Run's through al Sort[s] of fish and Foul,
Retaine's a Smack of evry one
He shews his mighty Powr upon;
And when so ere hee's mad and fond
Has something of the vagabond.
Is equally with Both possest,
And like a Pythagorean Soul,
Run's through al Sort[s] of fish and Foul,
Retaine's a Smack of evry one
He shews his mighty Powr upon;
And when so ere hee's mad and fond
Has something of the vagabond.
That in the Game of Ladys Hearts
Know how to pack and Marke the Carts.
Know how to pack and Marke the Carts.
What ere the Devil shee do's ayl
This Bearers Spouse looke's very Pale,
And, by the Culler of her Cheekes,
Eate's cheese of Chalk and bread of Bricks.
[I] know y' have Store of Remedies
[For] maladys much worse then this;
Then, pre'thee, looke among thy bookes
[F]or something that wil Cure her lookes,
[For] hee's asham'd to have it sed
[He] has not had her Maydenhead;
Though, to Confess the truth to you
(Who are my friend), it is too true;
For he is no such sturdy Porter
T' indure a Woman made of Morter;
For, if h' had venturd to have ------ her,
[He'd] be no Husband, but a Doctor;
And he is loath to have his ------
To save his Purse turn Emperique.
Then, Prethee, thinke upon his Case,
And give him something for her face;
For while it looke's so like a Clout
[It] will still be lent and wedding out.
This Bearers Spouse looke's very Pale,
And, by the Culler of her Cheekes,
Eate's cheese of Chalk and bread of Bricks.
[I] know y' have Store of Remedies
[For] maladys much worse then this;
Then, pre'thee, looke among thy bookes
[F]or something that wil Cure her lookes,
[For] hee's asham'd to have it sed
[He] has not had her Maydenhead;
Though, to Confess the truth to you
(Who are my friend), it is too true;
429
T' indure a Woman made of Morter;
For, if h' had venturd to have ------ her,
[He'd] be no Husband, but a Doctor;
And he is loath to have his ------
To save his Purse turn Emperique.
Then, Prethee, thinke upon his Case,
And give him something for her face;
For while it looke's so like a Clout
[It] will still be lent and wedding out.
His face on which appeard no bristles
But gentle as the Down of Thistles;
But as those Thistles weare the softest down
To hide their Prickles til th' are grown,
So did that softnes do Lovs Darts
Until it surprizd and piercd their tender hearts.
But gentle as the Down of Thistles;
But as those Thistles weare the softest down
To hide their Prickles til th' are grown,
So did that softnes do Lovs Darts
Until it surprizd and piercd their tender hearts.
That Bewty Nature give's to flowrs
And sweetnes too is Dul to yours,
And that bright Luster which she paints
On Eastern Stones, grows dim and faints,
More glorious then those she limnes
On Tayles of Birds and Eastern Jems.
And sweetnes too is Dul to yours,
And that bright Luster which she paints
On Eastern Stones, grows dim and faints,
More glorious then those she limnes
On Tayles of Birds and Eastern Jems.
That Relique must be most Divine
That's kept in such a bewteous shrine.
That's kept in such a bewteous shrine.
Marriage
The ------ spawn of Love and Feare
That Haunt, and Hag the Marryd Paire
And make them both Ride one another
With Fits of th' Incubus, and Mother.
That Haunt, and Hag the Marryd Paire
And make them both Ride one another
With Fits of th' Incubus, and Mother.
Devourd by Great, and little Friends,
Like Candles burning at both ends,
The Insolence of Great Relations,
And Petulance of mean, and Base ones.
Like Candles burning at both ends,
The Insolence of Great Relations,
And Petulance of mean, and Base ones.
[Who] Would have hang t' have been possest
Would do as much to be Releast.
Would do as much to be Releast.
That with worldly Goods
Indow each other, Claps, and Nodes,
Until his Horns become the Theams
Of Western-pug-wit on the Temes,
The Everlasting Subject matter,
Of Repartees, upon the water.
Indow each other, Claps, and Nodes,
Until his Horns become the Theams
Of Western-pug-wit on the Temes,
The Everlasting Subject matter,
Of Repartees, upon the water.
430
Whence Lovers who had often been slighted
For b'ing Adventurers, unknighted,
As soone as once they have been Dubd
Or else more honorably Tubd:
Their Names in Blazon vamp'd with Sirs
Have now the Damzels, and their Spurs.
For b'ing Adventurers, unknighted,
As soone as once they have been Dubd
Or else more honorably Tubd:
Their Names in Blazon vamp'd with Sirs
Have now the Damzels, and their Spurs.
Make marriages a Greater Sin
Without Degrees then those within;
No wonder then th' are no more ty'd
To Articles on either side,
But rather use their Freedom more,
And own it, then they Durst before:
For those who take but one at once
All others for the Time Renounce,
And that's sufficient to perform
Engagements only made for Form,
And, if at Certaine times th' are free,
'Tis at their Choyce when they shalbe.
Without Degrees then those within;
No wonder then th' are no more ty'd
To Articles on either side,
But rather use their Freedom more,
And own it, then they Durst before:
For those who take but one at once
All others for the Time Renounce,
And that's sufficient to perform
Engagements only made for Form,
And, if at Certaine times th' are free,
'Tis at their Choyce when they shalbe.
Who Henpeck none to that Degree
As Grave men in Authority,
And still the more th' are great and Rich
The more they Hug, the Dear Caprich.
As Grave men in Authority,
And still the more th' are great and Rich
The more they Hug, the Dear Caprich.
For whores of Hectors get the Pox
As Pullets have been clapd by Rooks.
As Pullets have been clapd by Rooks.
Turn's her gentle Soft Compliance
To Endless Quarrels and Defyance.
To Endless Quarrels and Defyance.
That would not sel his Liberty
His ease and Quietness to Buy.
His ease and Quietness to Buy.
Marryd a Crossgraind Lady, more Ill Naturd
Then Malice (in the Letany) and Hatred.
Then Malice (in the Letany) and Hatred.
A man that like a By-blow, and his mother,
Were æqually ashamed of one another.
Were æqually ashamed of one another.
Especially, so great a Son o' th' Church,
Th' h' was thought to be begotten in the Porch.
Th' h' was thought to be begotten in the Porch.
Women
So Homer stole his wars of Troy, and Greece,
In Ægypt, from a Spinster Poetesse.
In Ægypt, from a Spinster Poetesse.
A Lady with Top-gallant Fowr
And Busk behind her and before,
Relict of all those virtuosos
Disceasd of French Stoccades in Nose,
Or all those Hospitaler-knight[s]
Disceasd of wounds in single fights.
And Busk behind her and before,
Relict of all those virtuosos
Disceasd of French Stoccades in Nose,
431
Disceasd of wounds in single fights.
Make Nature operate out of Season
Or women to submit to Reason.
Or women to submit to Reason.
As easy as a Lady Buxome
Dos make a Cully of a Coxcomb.
Dos make a Cully of a Coxcomb.
Lust
Had got a Grant for al the Bodys
Of Gossips, Gammers, Dames, and Goodies,
And by Abolishing the Notion
Of Chastity, Prevent Deboshing.
Of Gossips, Gammers, Dames, and Goodies,
And by Abolishing the Notion
Of Chastity, Prevent Deboshing.
Who[se] Forehead spread as Lazy and Full
As his wh' was Got and Horn'd b' a Bull.
As his wh' was Got and Horn'd b' a Bull.
That do their work in Hugger mugger
As Cautiously as Pædants Bugger.
As Cautiously as Pædants Bugger.
And Swathd together by a Surgeon
As Feeble as a kick of Sturgeon.
As Feeble as a kick of Sturgeon.
As Common as it is for Misses
To Pass with Revrend men for Neeces.
To Pass with Revrend men for Neeces.
The Jews that by their Laws allow
An ox to Thrash as well as Plow.
An ox to Thrash as well as Plow.
Honor
How many Sinners Dissolute, and Common,
By Cuntry Squires made Honest Gentlewomen?
And won, and wedded out of Puddle-Dock
To Eldest Sons and Heirs of Antient Stock.
When Having in the Quality of Neeces
Servd out the best of all their time, for Misses.
By uncles, or Imaginary Cusses
Have been put off to worshipfullest Houses.
B' Adopted Uncles, have been past for Spouses
To Worshipfull, or Honorable Houses.
By Cuntry Squires made Honest Gentlewomen?
And won, and wedded out of Puddle-Dock
To Eldest Sons and Heirs of Antient Stock.
When Having in the Quality of Neeces
Servd out the best of all their time, for Misses.
By uncles, or Imaginary Cusses
Have been put off to worshipfullest Houses.
B' Adopted Uncles, have been past for Spouses
To Worshipfull, or Honorable Houses.
That's puft up with his own conceipt, and swels
With vanity, and Pride, and nothing else,
Like empty Bladders, i' th' Pneumatique Engine,
Blown up with nothing; but their own extension;
Whose Titles, like French Noble Mens Degres
Are but distinguisht by their Gallowses,
Where those that on Most Numerous Pillers stand
Take Place of Monsiers of the Greatst Command,
And he['s] the Richest Person, that is full
Of most work for his stallion-Horse or Bull.
When he that by the Crop, lets out t' his Tenants,
His Land, and ovens, has the greatst convenience.
With vanity, and Pride, and nothing else,
Like empty Bladders, i' th' Pneumatique Engine,
Blown up with nothing; but their own extension;
432
Are but distinguisht by their Gallowses,
Where those that on Most Numerous Pillers stand
Take Place of Monsiers of the Greatst Command,
And he['s] the Richest Person, that is full
Of most work for his stallion-Horse or Bull.
When he that by the Crop, lets out t' his Tenants,
His Land, and ovens, has the greatst convenience.
As one Descended of the Empereres
Of th' East; In Rome, sold lately all Th' Arriers
And Tittles in Remainder, of the Honors
The Turk usurp's still, from the Legall owners.
Of th' East; In Rome, sold lately all Th' Arriers
And Tittles in Remainder, of the Honors
The Turk usurp's still, from the Legall owners.
For t' hang ones self is counted No Disgrace,
But to be hangd, by others, vile, and Base.
But to be hangd, by others, vile, and Base.
And when the Sottish Ignorant extold him,
Found Human Nature was too weak to hold him.
For Puft-up Greatness has a Speciall Care
Before its Haughty Selfe, of standing Bare:
Is his own Betters, and not Proudly sufferd
Among Inferior Persons to bee Coverd,
But like an Usher, is obligd to stand
Before himself with awful hat in Hand
And by his own Respect, t' himself, invite
His lesser Visitants to do him Right.
Least others freely should Presume to do,
The same things, in his Pers'nal Presence too.
But by his own Example take occasion,
To Imitate his ways of Application.
For Haughty Greatnes must not stoop so low
As those that only serve to make it so:
Must turn it's careless Back to all Inferiors
And proudly look before upon Superiors.
Found Human Nature was too weak to hold him.
For Puft-up Greatness has a Speciall Care
Before its Haughty Selfe, of standing Bare:
Is his own Betters, and not Proudly sufferd
Among Inferior Persons to bee Coverd,
But like an Usher, is obligd to stand
Before himself with awful hat in Hand
And by his own Respect, t' himself, invite
His lesser Visitants to do him Right.
Least others freely should Presume to do,
The same things, in his Pers'nal Presence too.
But by his own Example take occasion,
To Imitate his ways of Application.
For Haughty Greatnes must not stoop so low
As those that only serve to make it so:
Must turn it's careless Back to all Inferiors
And proudly look before upon Superiors.
Approchd with Distant aw and Reverence
As terrible as Plague, or Pestilence,
But no man Introducd without a fine
Untill h' has wayted out his Quarentine.
For Saints noe other votaries Receive
Untill th' have watchd and wayted out their Eave.
And Lay for't most Religiously, before
They can be freely Admitted to Adore;
And when they are, An Insolent vouchsafe
Is all the Favour they can hope to have.
As terrible as Plague, or Pestilence,
But no man Introducd without a fine
Untill h' has wayted out his Quarentine.
For Saints noe other votaries Receive
Untill th' have watchd and wayted out their Eave.
And Lay for't most Religiously, before
They can be freely Admitted to Adore;
And when they are, An Insolent vouchsafe
Is all the Favour they can hope to have.
So the Great Cham proclame to the Grand Signor
When he has din'd free leave to go to Dinner.
When he has din'd free leave to go to Dinner.
Put of[f] His Hat, and Bowd, and made Addresses,
And Boun Professes, to his Footmans Sneezes.
And Boun Professes, to his Footmans Sneezes.
433
Grew Proud, tho of the wretchedst Priviledge,
To Ride to execution on a sledge,
To shew his Rank, while those of less Deserts,
Are only alowd to be conveyd in Carts:
Tho he Disparagd, and Contemnd them for't,
As born t' an æquall Penance through the Durt,
While He was Drawn more Easily, and Cleane,
To shew the Diffrence of the great, and meane.
To Ride to execution on a sledge,
To shew his Rank, while those of less Deserts,
Are only alowd to be conveyd in Carts:
Tho he Disparagd, and Contemnd them for't,
As born t' an æquall Penance through the Durt,
While He was Drawn more Easily, and Cleane,
To shew the Diffrence of the great, and meane.
The World
As Diamonds of Ordinary weight,For evry Caract, beare a Certaine Rate,
But, when they once outgrow the Common Size,
The least Addition multiplys the Price.
'Tis easier to Counterfet a Stone
Of any Dy, then Diamonds of None.
As 'tis more gallant to command
Then to be able to know how,
So 'tis to Censure then to know,
And to Controll then understand.
For knowledge is a thing below,
And 'tis more noble to appeare
Above it, without Charge or Paines
Or the Dul Industry of Braines,
Then earne it at a Rate so deare:
For as all People would be rich,
But Fortune only ha's the Power
Or Industry to appoint which,
Then to be able to know how,
So 'tis to Censure then to know,
And to Controll then understand.
For knowledge is a thing below,
And 'tis more noble to appeare
Above it, without Charge or Paines
Or the Dul Industry of Braines,
Then earne it at a Rate so deare:
For as all People would be rich,
But Fortune only ha's the Power
Or Industry to appoint which,
And makes some Poore
Only t' advance the other more,
Soe all men would be wise and know,
Though Nature only orders who
Shalbe and shal ne're be so.
Devour's his Fortune in a Trice
Only t' advance the other more,
Soe all men would be wise and know,
Though Nature only orders who
Shalbe and shal ne're be so.
And eates himself like Adam out of Paradice.
The Magique of Mens Native Soyles
Though 'ere so Homely, stil Prevailes
To make them rather Settle there
Then ------ better any where.
And 'ere they dy would faine Return
To be buryd, where th' were Born.
434
Is th' High and mighty Powr of Nature;
Nature the Universal Sovraine
And Custom her Colleague, that Govern.
He that's Drunkest
Is in the Fairest way of Conquest.
The world for other Sins was drownd
Before the use of wine was found,
When Fishes that by Drinking Live
Were only worthy a Reprive.
The smooth fac'd youth freed from his Tutors care
Loves Dogs and horses and the Chirgeon Aire,
Prone to debauch, but obstinate t' advice,
Regardles how his time and money flys.
Our Sighs and Feares give no relief
To them at al but our own grief.
So when the unwise are Powr shun
Into the Contrary they run.
And as in Ships of war we do not State
Their greatnes from their Burden or their Rate,
Nor as in Merchantmen count by their Tuns
But by the men she carrys and the Guns,
So he, that would know her Proportion just,
Must reckon by her mischief and her Lust.
Vulgarity
That went to Heaven in a slipAs Seamen swing from ship to ship,
And might have been for just desert
Raysd from the Dongeon to the Cart,
And after Risen step by step,
Untill he fetched a higher leap,
And swung to New worlds by the Neck,
As sea men do from Deck to Deck.
Morality
A man may be a foole with sense
As well as mad with Patience.
As well as mad with Patience.
Punishment[s] do not grow less
But rather by Delays increase;
For all they by Forbearance gain
Do's only aggravate the Pain.
But rather by Delays increase;
For all they by Forbearance gain
Do's only aggravate the Pain.
435
A Man that swell Pride and Fat,
Like the Scotch Minister of State.
Like the Scotch Minister of State.
Who when they are Intrap't and Caught
Are but possest of what they sought;
And if they like the Artifice
They need not quarrell at the Price.
The Spider do's not seek the Fly,
But leave's him, of himself t' apply,
Nor do's the Trap pursue the Mice,
But freely they themselves surprise.
Are but possest of what they sought;
And if they like the Artifice
They need not quarrell at the Price.
The Spider do's not seek the Fly,
But leave's him, of himself t' apply,
Nor do's the Trap pursue the Mice,
But freely they themselves surprise.
Avarice
As Poorest Beggers are the Best
And those the wretchedst that want lest.
And those the wretchedst that want lest.
And those who venture to climb high
In th' Air, for want of Aire dy,
As men on Tenarif are se'd
For want of Aire to fall down dead.
In th' Air, for want of Aire dy,
As men on Tenarif are se'd
For want of Aire to fall down dead.
To whom no Honey combe nor Sugar
Was ere so sweet as filthy Lucre.
Was ere so sweet as filthy Lucre.
To nothing tru in no Condition
But filthy Lucre and Ambition,
And, like a Greedy Cormorant,
Devouring but increast his want;
Knew all the Secret ways t' amasse,
And drove more Trades with Publique Cash
Then all the Scribes and Publicans
In Princes Customs and Divans.
So greedy and Insatiable
He layd on Right and wrong a Gabel.
But filthy Lucre and Ambition,
And, like a Greedy Cormorant,
Devouring but increast his want;
Knew all the Secret ways t' amasse,
And drove more Trades with Publique Cash
Then all the Scribes and Publicans
In Princes Customs and Divans.
So greedy and Insatiable
He layd on Right and wrong a Gabel.
Fortune
Our Fortunes now are such, RemorseCan never mend but make it worse,
And 'tis Below the worst of Fooling
To think to Help it by Condoling,
To spend our little Time and thoughts
In Quarreling and finding Faults:
For None are wretcheder undon
Then those Condemnd to wayl and mone.
436
Wealth
Why should not wit as wel as wealthBe raysd by Forgery and Stealth?
Vice
One who had no Leisure
Between his Bus'nes, and his Pleasure
To think of any thing but what
To th' one, or th' other did relate.
------ Could carry on his Load
Like Mules that travel in a Road
And understand which way to take
As well asleep as broad awake.
Between his Bus'nes, and his Pleasure
To think of any thing but what
To th' one, or th' other did relate.
------ Could carry on his Load
Like Mules that travel in a Road
And understand which way to take
As well asleep as broad awake.
A Prodigal nere fayles to hate
Those who have purchacd his Estate,
Although at ere so great a Rate;
Is safer trusted with untold
Cabals and Secrets, then with Gold.
Those who have purchacd his Estate,
Although at ere so great a Rate;
Is safer trusted with untold
Cabals and Secrets, then with Gold.
Begotten as great Princes wed
By Proxy in his Fathers stead.
By Proxy in his Fathers stead.
One that was Peevisher and testier
Then Botches when they Rage and fester;
Revenge, and Mischief, and Despight
Were both his Bus'nes, and Delight.
Then Botches when they Rage and fester;
Revenge, and Mischief, and Despight
Were both his Bus'nes, and Delight.
Though Squemish in her Outward woman
As Lewd, and Rampant as Dol Common.
As Lewd, and Rampant as Dol Common.
Poetry
This may be don by those that shall come after,
But no Age wil indure its own Satyr.
But no Age wil indure its own Satyr.
There has been such a glut of Plays of late
The Plenty of them ha's brought down the Rate.
The Plenty of them ha's brought down the Rate.
Prologue
If I could hope you would not tell agen,
Fayr Ladys and most worthy Gentlemen,
I've something to say t' yee; but am afeard
I should, by some within, be overheard:
In brief 'tis only this, wee have within
Two Poets such as yet were never seen:
One is a writer, and of great Renown,
But by an envious Faction now kept down,
And yet in this new Play he has thought [fit]
To entertaine a Partner of his wit,
One that did never write, yet understands
How to put of[f] what Ly's on th' others hands,
And now th' are setting up with a Joynt ------
To deal for what you at the Dores have payd,
Like Indian Merchants, that, for Beads and Trinkets,
Make rich Returnes of Orient Pearls and Ingots.
I wish they may do so; but how so ere
We are securd, and run no hazzard here:
They have insur'd us against al mishap,
You shalbe pleasd, and cry it up, and clap.
W' have let 'em but our house, the Cloaths, and paines,
And have no venture in their loss, or gaines.
Then, whether you do Cry it up, or down,
The gaine or loss is sure to be their own.
Fayr Ladys and most worthy Gentlemen,
I've something to say t' yee; but am afeard
I should, by some within, be overheard:
In brief 'tis only this, wee have within
Two Poets such as yet were never seen:
437
But by an envious Faction now kept down,
And yet in this new Play he has thought [fit]
To entertaine a Partner of his wit,
One that did never write, yet understands
How to put of[f] what Ly's on th' others hands,
And now th' are setting up with a Joynt ------
To deal for what you at the Dores have payd,
Like Indian Merchants, that, for Beads and Trinkets,
Make rich Returnes of Orient Pearls and Ingots.
I wish they may do so; but how so ere
We are securd, and run no hazzard here:
They have insur'd us against al mishap,
You shalbe pleasd, and cry it up, and clap.
W' have let 'em but our house, the Cloaths, and paines,
And have no venture in their loss, or gaines.
Then, whether you do Cry it up, or down,
The gaine or loss is sure to be their own.
A man may be a Poet that nere writ,
As some that cannot read set up for wit;
Critiques no doubt, that might impartial seeme,
If good and bad were but alike to them.
But they, out of a Bravery of minde,
Are always to the weaker side inclin'd,
As Courts of Justice use: else right and wrong
Would not be able to hold out so long.
And such a Court are some of you that sit
By your half-Crown-Commissions in the Pit.
To Judg, according as your Talents are,
Between the King and Prisner at the Barre.
But, as some Judges, whether wrong or right,
Are found, in hanging men, to take Delight,
A Poets ruine gives you more content
Then Fals of Great men in the Government,
Though you gaine nothing by 't: For seldome comes
A Better (say's the Proverb) in their Roomes.
For Poetry, like other Heresies,
By being persecuted multiply's,
And, the more wickedly some authors write,
Others to write worse are encouragd by't.
Thus, whether you do cry Plays up or downe,
The Thing is found in th' end to be al one,
And the best way is to let both alone;
For, should they leave the Trade, they would get more
Then ere they did by dealing in't before:
For some are made by being crackd, as wel
As Birds are hatchd by breaking of the Shel.
As some that cannot read set up for wit;
Critiques no doubt, that might impartial seeme,
If good and bad were but alike to them.
But they, out of a Bravery of minde,
Are always to the weaker side inclin'd,
As Courts of Justice use: else right and wrong
Would not be able to hold out so long.
And such a Court are some of you that sit
By your half-Crown-Commissions in the Pit.
To Judg, according as your Talents are,
Between the King and Prisner at the Barre.
But, as some Judges, whether wrong or right,
Are found, in hanging men, to take Delight,
A Poets ruine gives you more content
Then Fals of Great men in the Government,
Though you gaine nothing by 't: For seldome comes
A Better (say's the Proverb) in their Roomes.
For Poetry, like other Heresies,
By being persecuted multiply's,
And, the more wickedly some authors write,
Others to write worse are encouragd by't.
Thus, whether you do cry Plays up or downe,
The Thing is found in th' end to be al one,
And the best way is to let both alone;
For, should they leave the Trade, they would get more
Then ere they did by dealing in't before:
For some are made by being crackd, as wel
As Birds are hatchd by breaking of the Shel.
438
He has observd there's but one certaine way
To please you al, in writing of a Play,
And that's by Scribling such a Paultry one
Of Purpose as you'r surest to cry down:
For then you have your wishes to the height
And al you're wont to hope from those that write;
Which is uncharitable and severe
To those that have so hard a Province here.
For what in England can a Poet hope,
Though one of late beyond Sea is turnd Pope,
In spight of Robert Wisdom, and some feare
The rest o' th' Tribe wil fare the worst for 't here.
To please you al, in writing of a Play,
And that's by Scribling such a Paultry one
Of Purpose as you'r surest to cry down:
For then you have your wishes to the height
And al you're wont to hope from those that write;
Which is uncharitable and severe
To those that have so hard a Province here.
For what in England can a Poet hope,
Though one of late beyond Sea is turnd Pope,
In spight of Robert Wisdom, and some feare
The rest o' th' Tribe wil fare the worst for 't here.
As Birds and Beast[s] of Rapine heretofore
Had their Heads payd for at the Churches Dore,
So Poets have at ours: and if you were
As Just in al your other Censures here,
You were brave Judges, for to steal and prey
On Others wits is now to write a Play,
That's like a Cuckolds Child, no man can gather
By any Feature of it who's the father,
But, as in China when a Child is born
The Man lies in for't in the womans turne,
So when a woman do's but write a Play
Some male-wit fathers it and ha's a day:
Hence 'tis that while such Numbers strive to write,
So few among them honestly come by't.
For few bring any thing here of their own,
But, like a Case in Law by Counsel drawn,
Put in, and out, b' advice before it pas,
Til 'tis another thing from what it was,
Or else 'tis stollen out of Pedlers French
That is French wit: while you upon the bench
Allow it and beleive the Author made it,
Because he did not tel you where he had it.
Those rob the State of wit, and have undon yee,
Like those that have to do with publique money,
That, in their bottomless and hel-like purses,
Store up the Peoples money and their Curses.
Had their Heads payd for at the Churches Dore,
So Poets have at ours: and if you were
As Just in al your other Censures here,
You were brave Judges, for to steal and prey
On Others wits is now to write a Play,
That's like a Cuckolds Child, no man can gather
By any Feature of it who's the father,
But, as in China when a Child is born
The Man lies in for't in the womans turne,
So when a woman do's but write a Play
Some male-wit fathers it and ha's a day:
Hence 'tis that while such Numbers strive to write,
So few among them honestly come by't.
For few bring any thing here of their own,
But, like a Case in Law by Counsel drawn,
Put in, and out, b' advice before it pas,
Til 'tis another thing from what it was,
Or else 'tis stollen out of Pedlers French
That is French wit: while you upon the bench
Allow it and beleive the Author made it,
Because he did not tel you where he had it.
Those rob the State of wit, and have undon yee,
Like those that have to do with publique money,
That, in their bottomless and hel-like purses,
Store up the Peoples money and their Curses.
He do's not write to gaine Applaus or Fame
And therefore that way cannot miss his Ayme.
And therefore that way cannot miss his Ayme.
Has taken of[f] the Quibble and the Rimes
To make it fit the fashion of the Times.
To make it fit the fashion of the Times.
For, as a Durty Pond is aptest
For Launching of an Anabaptist,
So Durty Fopprys are most fit
For those of Durty braines, and wit.
For Launching of an Anabaptist,
So Durty Fopprys are most fit
For those of Durty braines, and wit.
439
For Poets are more rayld at then the Gods
Or Stars by Lovers when they fal at ods.
Or Stars by Lovers when they fal at ods.
That swel and looke as Big, as if th' had payd
An Empire for each Comedy they made,
As once a Learned Critique but to own
An old Song, swore he freely would have don.
An Empire for each Comedy they made,
As once a Learned Critique but to own
An old Song, swore he freely would have don.
Plato, thinking to exile
All Poets from his Sancho's Isle,
Unwittingly expeld himself
His own Poetique Commonwelth,
With all his Sect of Followers,
Mere Poets, only bating verse.
All Poets from his Sancho's Isle,
Unwittingly expeld himself
His own Poetique Commonwelth,
With all his Sect of Followers,
Mere Poets, only bating verse.
Government
The Sun ecclips'd in water best appeares,
So should the fall of Kings be seen in Teares.
So should the fall of Kings be seen in Teares.
What has this Government don more
Then what the other did Before?
When State, Religion, and the Laws,
Have all espousd the Good old Cause.
The selfsame Ministers imployd,
That were before on th' other side:
And all that has been Past, and don
Is but the same Continud on.
Then what the other did Before?
When State, Religion, and the Laws,
Have all espousd the Good old Cause.
The selfsame Ministers imployd,
That were before on th' other side:
And all that has been Past, and don
Is but the same Continud on.
Raysd to preferment in the State
Like False Scale, for want of weight.
Like False Scale, for want of weight.
Mighty monarchs, are exprest
In visions by some horned Beast.
In visions by some horned Beast.
A Government so silly and perverse
Is only fit to be destroyd by Beasts.
Is only fit to be destroyd by Beasts.
For what can hold, when truth, and kings
And wine, and women Rout all things?
'Tis Desperate to trust th' Advice
And Pardond Faith of Enemies,
Who use t' accompt the Grace and Favor
But binding to the good Behavior:
For there's no Livery, no Ceasin,
Nor Fines in alienating Treason,
Nor Bonds, but merely at Discretion
One Minute to secure Possession,
Who thinke they have the greatest wrong
Because they are but half-unhung
And only listed for the Gallows
Against the next mischance that Follows;
Which they believe has rather earnd
Revenge, then Fayth to be returnd;
And those that have venturd and came of[f]
Long most to make a Second Proof.
And wine, and women Rout all things?
'Tis Desperate to trust th' Advice
And Pardond Faith of Enemies,
Who use t' accompt the Grace and Favor
But binding to the good Behavior:
For there's no Livery, no Ceasin,
Nor Fines in alienating Treason,
Nor Bonds, but merely at Discretion
One Minute to secure Possession,
Who thinke they have the greatest wrong
Because they are but half-unhung
440
Against the next mischance that Follows;
Which they believe has rather earnd
Revenge, then Fayth to be returnd;
And those that have venturd and came of[f]
Long most to make a Second Proof.
False Designes require more Care
In Management then Just and fair.
In Management then Just and fair.
As Princes Favorite, when th' are Boys,
For all his Faults by Proxy pays,
So in Miscarriages of State,
The Favorite is sure to pay't.
For all his Faults by Proxy pays,
So in Miscarriages of State,
The Favorite is sure to pay't.
When once a Princes wil meetes with restraint
His Pow'r is then esteem'd but his Complaint.
His Pow'r is then esteem'd but his Complaint.
That meet not to consult, but Snap
And th' Adverse Interest intrap
To snatch all small Advantages
As if they Playd a Game at Ches.
And th' Adverse Interest intrap
To snatch all small Advantages
As if they Playd a Game at Ches.
More subtle at unriddling Cabals
Then Foxes are in Æsop's Fables
At over-reaching other Beast[s]
And Jugling with their Interests.
Then Foxes are in Æsop's Fables
At over-reaching other Beast[s]
And Jugling with their Interests.
Nothing sinks so soon as Empires
Upheld by Feeble Crazy Tempers.
Upheld by Feeble Crazy Tempers.
Bees are Governd in a Monarchy,
But 'tis some more noble Femal Bee;
For Femals never grow Effeminate
As men Prove often, and subvert a State:
For as they take to Men, and men to them
It is the safest in the worst extreame.
But 'tis some more noble Femal Bee;
For Femals never grow Effeminate
As men Prove often, and subvert a State:
For as they take to Men, and men to them
It is the safest in the worst extreame.
The Gracchi were most Resolute and stout
Who only by their Mother had been taught.
Who only by their Mother had been taught.
And though he livd a Beast and Sot
That still his word, and Faith forgot:
And nere was, till he came to Dy,
In Perfect minde and Memory;
To make his will, in which He gave
Profusely, what He could not save:
As first his Soul to his Creator,
But nere Considerd the maine Matter;
Whether 'twere Just He should Receive
A thing he did not give, but Leave,
Which He so Carelessly Had Kept,
The Devill hardly would accept.
That still his word, and Faith forgot:
And nere was, till he came to Dy,
In Perfect minde and Memory;
To make his will, in which He gave
Profusely, what He could not save:
As first his Soul to his Creator,
But nere Considerd the maine Matter;
Whether 'twere Just He should Receive
A thing he did not give, but Leave,
Which He so Carelessly Had Kept,
The Devill hardly would accept.
441
As those, who by the Law o' th' Land,
Are Sentencd to be burnt i' th' Hand:
Give thanks upon their Bended knees,
For Having th' honor of th' Imprese.
Are Sentencd to be burnt i' th' Hand:
Give thanks upon their Bended knees,
For Having th' honor of th' Imprese.
That have more Politique Intrigues
In Poynts, and Knots, and Periwigs,
Then Statesmen have in breaking Leagues.
In Poynts, and Knots, and Periwigs,
Then Statesmen have in breaking Leagues.
Law
For how can a Lawyer though 'ere so infirm
Have Leasure to dy in the midst of a Tearm?
Have Leasure to dy in the midst of a Tearm?
That poore Rogues fate and thine are one,
Who being ready to bee hangd
Behold's the worke himself had don,
The Hemp he has so often bangd;
And when hee's dead wil hang in th' a[i]re
As sure as Mahomet's Sepulcher.
Who being ready to bee hangd
Behold's the worke himself had don,
The Hemp he has so often bangd;
And when hee's dead wil hang in th' a[i]re
As sure as Mahomet's Sepulcher.
Laws to their Executions Prefer
At best but th' Executioner.
At best but th' Executioner.
For when a Nation is a Slave,
What Crowns of Monarchs can be safe?
And still the less we wast our Right
W' Injoy the greater Freedom by't.
What Crowns of Monarchs can be safe?
And still the less we wast our Right
W' Injoy the greater Freedom by't.
For Constant Right's The Tru streit Line
To which such wonders some Assigne,
For Forfeiture in Law, or Reputation
Is Irrevocable as Privation,
From which it is as much Impossible
To be Redeemd, as Souls that are in Hel.
To which such wonders some Assigne,
For Forfeiture in Law, or Reputation
Is Irrevocable as Privation,
From which it is as much Impossible
To be Redeemd, as Souls that are in Hel.
As, in Utopia, Judges Hands
Are burnt for taking Bribes, with Brands,
To give the Court, and Hangman Reall
Security under Hand, and Seal.
Are burnt for taking Bribes, with Brands,
To give the Court, and Hangman Reall
Security under Hand, and Seal.
That use t' ingage Both Houses, in Contest
Against the Nations Publique Interest;
Trot up, and Down, the Hall, to meet, and Heard,
And cast up what Course next is to be steard.
Make Publique Tests to Sweare to, ex Officio
With many [a] subtle Politique Proviso,
T' establish Perjurers, that can forsweare,
And Honest Men, that cannot do 't, cashiere;
All urgent Busnes of the House Abridge
To nothinge else but breach of Priviledg.
Admit the Important, and the Necessary
No nearer minding then Præliminary
And vote the Sessions, more Compendious
To be against the Orders of the House.
Against the Nations Publique Interest;
Trot up, and Down, the Hall, to meet, and Heard,
And cast up what Course next is to be steard.
Make Publique Tests to Sweare to, ex Officio
With many [a] subtle Politique Proviso,
T' establish Perjurers, that can forsweare,
And Honest Men, that cannot do 't, cashiere;
442
To nothinge else but breach of Priviledg.
Admit the Important, and the Necessary
No nearer minding then Præliminary
And vote the Sessions, more Compendious
To be against the Orders of the House.
Th' expences of Dividing what th' had gaind
Had Run the Publique money behind Hand,
That Rapine, Sacriledge, and Providence,
Could not Supply th' extravagant Expence;
Nor turning all the Churches of the Nation
Into one singular Impropriation:
Nor Sale, nor Sequestration, could suffice;
Nor Decimation, forfiture, Excise,
Nor Selling Scots, by th' Head, our Pretious Brethren,
To stock Plantations, 'mong the Indian Heathen.
That Prayd, and taught, and Fasted to Devour
With more Insatiate Greediness, and Powr,
And Run through all the Difficultst Affairs
Upon th' Account of Zeal, and Fasts, and Prayers,
And by their owne self-seeking of the Lord
Gave Revelations as Designs concurd,
Destroyd Religion by Humiliations
And strove to sow, and Sprinkle down three Nations.
Had Run the Publique money behind Hand,
That Rapine, Sacriledge, and Providence,
Could not Supply th' extravagant Expence;
Nor turning all the Churches of the Nation
Into one singular Impropriation:
Nor Sale, nor Sequestration, could suffice;
Nor Decimation, forfiture, Excise,
Nor Selling Scots, by th' Head, our Pretious Brethren,
To stock Plantations, 'mong the Indian Heathen.
That Prayd, and taught, and Fasted to Devour
With more Insatiate Greediness, and Powr,
And Run through all the Difficultst Affairs
Upon th' Account of Zeal, and Fasts, and Prayers,
And by their owne self-seeking of the Lord
Gave Revelations as Designs concurd,
Destroyd Religion by Humiliations
And strove to sow, and Sprinkle down three Nations.
For Laws and Money are the same,
And from the selfsame Derivation Came.
And from the selfsame Derivation Came.
As Daughters pass for Sons, in Legal Authors
But not all Sons Indiffrently for Daughters.
But not all Sons Indiffrently for Daughters.
As in Sealing writings, He allone
That take's the seal off, 's held to Put it on.
That take's the seal off, 's held to Put it on.
Are held of Bums the bravest fellows,
The Hangmans Life-guard at the Gallows,
Without whose Ayd, the Populace
Would hang him up, in his own Place.
The Hangmans Life-guard at the Gallows,
Without whose Ayd, the Populace
Would hang him up, in his own Place.
As equal Jurys use to Hang one Half
Of Criminals, and th' other moeity save.
Of Criminals, and th' other moeity save.
As sinners in the Church of Rome do trust
To be savd by the Suffrings of the Just.
To be savd by the Suffrings of the Just.
A Pirat do's more mischief of himself
Then all together Storm, and Rock and shelf.
Then all together Storm, and Rock and shelf.
When He, whose Present Turn it is to Read,
Do's both their Talents, and their Bodys, feede,
Expounds upon all Diffrent Sorts of Meates,
And on, at least, five Hundred Dishes treates,
Resolv's the Case in Law, the Poynt, and Reason,
Of ven'son, Fish, and Foul, that are in Season:
And with a most Judicious Tast, Defines,
And states the Cases, of all Sorts of wines:
And all his welcome Hearers Edifys
With Hammes of Bacon, Tongues, and Red-Dear-Pies.
Do's both their Talents, and their Bodys, feede,
Expounds upon all Diffrent Sorts of Meates,
And on, at least, five Hundred Dishes treates,
443
Of ven'son, Fish, and Foul, that are in Season:
And with a most Judicious Tast, Defines,
And states the Cases, of all Sorts of wines:
And all his welcome Hearers Edifys
With Hammes of Bacon, Tongues, and Red-Dear-Pies.
Treachery
A Man as Virtuous and Good
As ever in a Galley Rowd.
As ever in a Galley Rowd.
Discover Secrets but in whispers
For th' Easy Credulous to Disperse.
For th' Easy Credulous to Disperse.
Whose words and Deeds are Counterfet
And like a Printers letters set,
Are not to be interpreted
Unles by being Backward read.
And like a Printers letters set,
Are not to be interpreted
Unles by being Backward read.
As Hangmen aske Delinquent Mercy
And truss 'em up with wondrous Curtsy.
And truss 'em up with wondrous Curtsy.
No Jew ever had more Care
To do his Busnes neat and fair
And not like Judas, who betrayd
So like a Bungler, and Delayd
But was more Civil in his way
And never let his Master stay.
To do his Busnes neat and fair
And not like Judas, who betrayd
So like a Bungler, and Delayd
But was more Civil in his way
And never let his Master stay.
Like Rookes that use to drive subtle Trade
By taking all the Odses that are Layd,
And who so ever hap's to have the Best
Are sure to win, or save themselvs at Least.
By taking all the Odses that are Layd,
And who so ever hap's to have the Best
Are sure to win, or save themselvs at Least.
But strive's t' assert a Supererrogation
Of Inhumanity, and Profanation,
Disdains to tread in any Beaten Path
Of Vulgar Treachery, and Breach of Faith,
But findes new ways, as some have don of Lechery
The Sponsors and the Collarys of Treachery,
Take's naturally to all Expedients
Of the great work, to ruine Government;
For those that have been hangd, and Cut in Quarters
For Treachery are but the Devils Martyrs,
Had servd in all Perfidiousnes, between
The Legal years of Sixty and Sixteen.
Of Inhumanity, and Profanation,
Disdains to tread in any Beaten Path
Of Vulgar Treachery, and Breach of Faith,
But findes new ways, as some have don of Lechery
The Sponsors and the Collarys of Treachery,
Take's naturally to all Expedients
Of the great work, to ruine Government;
For those that have been hangd, and Cut in Quarters
For Treachery are but the Devils Martyrs,
Had servd in all Perfidiousnes, between
The Legal years of Sixty and Sixteen.
444
Injustice
Was falser then the Mercury
He trust's to, in his hollow Dy.
There was no Gouty Politique
Of which he could [not] streit be sick
And wel again with equal Speed
As with his Bus'nes best agreed.
He trust's to, in his hollow Dy.
There was no Gouty Politique
Of which he could [not] streit be sick
And wel again with equal Speed
As with his Bus'nes best agreed.
Look'd as Politique and shrewd as
His antique Predecessor Judas,
For those that make, no more keep Oaths
Then Taylors make and weare al Cloaths.
His antique Predecessor Judas,
For those that make, no more keep Oaths
Then Taylors make and weare al Cloaths.
War
For what but Risings was the Stubborn war
Between the Clans of York and Lancaster?
Between the Clans of York and Lancaster?
He thought no Stratagem so warlike
As ceazing Danger by the Forelock,
Nor any martial Disingagments
So honorable as Detachments.
He knew the force of woman Conduct
By h[i]s Cuntry woman bold Queen Bonduc,
And what H' had found himself by proof
And therefore Soldierlike drew of[f]
Surprizd him in his new Redout
Without a Sentinel or Scout.
As ceazing Danger by the Forelock,
Nor any martial Disingagments
So honorable as Detachments.
He knew the force of woman Conduct
By h[i]s Cuntry woman bold Queen Bonduc,
And what H' had found himself by proof
And therefore Soldierlike drew of[f]
Surprizd him in his new Redout
Without a Sentinel or Scout.
Glory gaind by fighting's little
Unless it be in Stealing Vittle.
Unless it be in Stealing Vittle.
Hope
That use to magnify in Microscopes
All that concern's their Losses, or their Hopes.
All that concern's their Losses, or their Hopes.
That some times Pass for greater, sometimes lesser,
According as they happen to take Measure.
According as they happen to take Measure.
Feare
Feare keepes all other Passions outAs Lesser Pains decline the Gout.
There neede's no other Conjurer
To Raise all Sorts of Fiends, but Feare,
That give the Enemy no quarter
When 'tis upon it's last Departure.
445
Courage
Mens Courage is not Limited, between
The Periods, of Sixty and Sixteen;
In which The yonge, are Entred in the List,
And when th' have servd so many years, Dismist:
The only Trade that men begin so yongue,
To serve a Prentiship, that lasts so longe.
The Periods, of Sixty and Sixteen;
In which The yonge, are Entred in the List,
And when th' have servd so many years, Dismist:
The only Trade that men begin so yongue,
To serve a Prentiship, that lasts so longe.
Life may be boldly taken from Superiors,
But never Given, but to mean Inferiors.
But never Given, but to mean Inferiors.
Some warlike Nations have Receipts for Courage,
By seasoning, with Gunpowder, their Porrige,
That Renderd Cowards Bold, as if th' had layd
The Devill, in the Pummel of a Blade.
That in the Fortresses, upon their Backs
Instead of Belts weare mighty Zodiacks,
In which they Paltry little Cutlaus ty
Like th' Antique Cabales in a Needles eie;
That out of Politiques, make Choyce of those
As Proprest Engines to Encounter Fo's,
That, if their Courage should (by Chance) miscarry
Against too Confident an Adversary,
Th' excuse of all the Feat of Armes ly
I' th' feeble weapons Imbecility.
By seasoning, with Gunpowder, their Porrige,
That Renderd Cowards Bold, as if th' had layd
The Devill, in the Pummel of a Blade.
That in the Fortresses, upon their Backs
Instead of Belts weare mighty Zodiacks,
In which they Paltry little Cutlaus ty
Like th' Antique Cabales in a Needles eie;
That out of Politiques, make Choyce of those
As Proprest Engines to Encounter Fo's,
That, if their Courage should (by Chance) miscarry
Against too Confident an Adversary,
Th' excuse of all the Feat of Armes ly
I' th' feeble weapons Imbecility.
Religion
As Confounding Languages Forerun
The Fall and slavery of Babilon,
So Canting brought the thorow-Reformation
T' inslave and over-run the English Nation.
The Fall and slavery of Babilon,
So Canting brought the thorow-Reformation
T' inslave and over-run the English Nation.
All this is Right—but 'tis a Fiction
To pass the Trick upon Conviction,
Or put it on th' Accompt of Conscience
Or opend eies,—a Flam, and Nonsense:
'Tis Temper make's a Renegado,
To which Conviction's but a Shadow.
To pass the Trick upon Conviction,
Or put it on th' Accompt of Conscience
Or opend eies,—a Flam, and Nonsense:
'Tis Temper make's a Renegado,
To which Conviction's but a Shadow.
Their Perilous Designes upon
Hierusalem and Babilon,
Which, being faythfully expounded,
Meant only Cavalliere and Roundhead,
Two Names the Rabble understood
Both went by in the word of God.
Hierusalem and Babilon,
Which, being faythfully expounded,
Meant only Cavalliere and Roundhead,
Two Names the Rabble understood
Both went by in the word of God.
446
T' assume the Cause like th' old Croysado,
And weare it only for a Shadow,
Set up above all Ordinances,
But only those of Dreames, and Traunses,
As if the Powr of Godlines
Were but a Lunatique Disease,
And all New-lights but meare Effects
Of th' Incubus, and Apoplex.
And weare it only for a Shadow,
Set up above all Ordinances,
But only those of Dreames, and Traunses,
As if the Powr of Godlines
Were but a Lunatique Disease,
And all New-lights but meare Effects
Of th' Incubus, and Apoplex.
Despise the Common-Prayer, as vaine
And Superstitius, and Profane,
Because they meet with no Occasions
To shew by reading Dispensations,
And ablest Saint[s] can make no shifts
To hold forth, the meanest of their gifts.
And Superstitius, and Profane,
Because they meet with no Occasions
To shew by reading Dispensations,
And ablest Saint[s] can make no shifts
To hold forth, the meanest of their gifts.
What was once but mere pretence
Is now made good by Providence.
Is now made good by Providence.
All Miracles of Furthest Places ceast,
And wonders of the Revealation-Beast:
Whose Feats, that had so long, and oft appeard,
The Joy, and Admiration of the Heard:
And had a Magique Influence to win,
And whistle all the Long-ear'd Rabble in.
Had been so many yeares, in Publique shown
That now they were grown out of Date, and known.
And brought to a Generall Nauseous lothing,
Men would not see, not heare of them for nothing:
The Heavy'st Blockheads Scornd, and over-reacht,
Th' Impertinent Designes, they Prayd and Preac[h]t.
All Characters of either Good, or evill,
That walkd in utter Darknes, like the Devill:
Or usd to lurke in one anothers shapes,
Broke out in Murthers, Thieverys, and Rapes:
And that which had before been understood,
For Good, Prov'd Bad, but seldom Bad the Good.
And wonders of the Revealation-Beast:
Whose Feats, that had so long, and oft appeard,
The Joy, and Admiration of the Heard:
And had a Magique Influence to win,
And whistle all the Long-ear'd Rabble in.
Had been so many yeares, in Publique shown
That now they were grown out of Date, and known.
And brought to a Generall Nauseous lothing,
Men would not see, not heare of them for nothing:
The Heavy'st Blockheads Scornd, and over-reacht,
Th' Impertinent Designes, they Prayd and Preac[h]t.
All Characters of either Good, or evill,
That walkd in utter Darknes, like the Devill:
Or usd to lurke in one anothers shapes,
Broke out in Murthers, Thieverys, and Rapes:
And that which had before been understood,
For Good, Prov'd Bad, but seldom Bad the Good.
As Evill Spirits, have been, in Adust,
Black Choler, sayd, to find a Tempting Gust
(From whence their own Familiar-Imps, like Leaches
Are Nursd, and Suckled, at the Teats of witches)
So crazd Phanatiques make The Just, and Good,
Take Pleasure in their Bishops-footed Bloud:
And from their Foul unwholsom Constitutions,
Derive their Spiritual Graces, and Infusions.
Black Choler, sayd, to find a Tempting Gust
(From whence their own Familiar-Imps, like Leaches
Are Nursd, and Suckled, at the Teats of witches)
So crazd Phanatiques make The Just, and Good,
Take Pleasure in their Bishops-footed Bloud:
And from their Foul unwholsom Constitutions,
Derive their Spiritual Graces, and Infusions.
A Mungrel-Breed of Men, as Cross, and Aukerd,
As those that were Producd, by Stones cast Backward:
Or Evangelique Myrmidons, turnd Saints,
From Busy, and Pragmatique swarms of Ants:
That strive to cheat their Publique Interests,
As Rookes to Pilfer one anothers Nests.
As those that were Producd, by Stones cast Backward:
Or Evangelique Myrmidons, turnd Saints,
From Busy, and Pragmatique swarms of Ants:
447
As Rookes to Pilfer one anothers Nests.
So Oliver, when he had sought the Lord,
But was affeard to give him back his word,
Had Dund his Privy Counsellers to Dun him,
To take the Crown, and Royalty upon him.
Had Forgd him selfe an Answer, and Subornd,
His Pack of Seers, what should be Returnd:
But durst not undertake it, for his Eares,
And upstart Saints, as wel as Cavalliers.
But was affeard to give him back his word,
Had Dund his Privy Counsellers to Dun him,
To take the Crown, and Royalty upon him.
Had Forgd him selfe an Answer, and Subornd,
His Pack of Seers, what should be Returnd:
But durst not undertake it, for his Eares,
And upstart Saints, as wel as Cavalliers.
'Tis now the most Impertinent, and vaine,
Of all the Hopes we once had, to Complaine.
And no less Mad, to Dream awake of Force,
As long as all the British world Concur's:
When those we freely Made, the supreme Powrs,
The English Nation, have Disposd of ours
Impossible, by us, to be Restord;
By Acting Politiquely, above Boord,
But by the craftier Intrieges of State,
T' Impose, and Juggle, and Insinuate:
The Devils Dark Georgiques, which some write,
He Practices, to sow his Tares by Night
Heapes-up, and Spreads his Dong, on Barren Soyles,
To bring up Plenteous weeds of New Turmoyles:
To make us, undertake, to Prog, and Tamper:
Between the Hall below, and Painted Chamber:
For who but we alone, are Fit, and Able,
To Manage so Mysterious a Cabal?
Have Gifts, and Dispensations Necessary,
Such wonderful out-goingses to Carry?
Wee who have been bred-up, and Edifyd
To steare Designes of Providence, and Guide:
Have Powr to Rais them, for the Causes service,
Supplys of Mony, Able men, and Purveyse;
It is but only shifting of the Scene
For th' Antient Actors, to come in agen:
The Plot, Designe, and Actors, are the same
Persue the self-same Argument, and aime:
When all the Church Preferments in the Nation,
Are but one Generall Impropriation.
Which tho w' Indeavor to Inlarge, and Stretch
Wil never, to our Hopes, and Projects reach:
Altho w' have Bred-up all our Ablest Pupils
In all the Curiositys of Scruples:
To know why Horrid Crimes are swallod easy
And little Faylings Difficult, and Queasy:
The sevrall Methods of Improving Scismes,
Upon the Least, and Slightest Criticisms:
As those that could not beare with Bays, and Rings
Made nothing of the Heads, and Bloud of Kings.
'Twil serve to make our Former Doctrine good,
The Covenant can never be withstood:
Nor any Powr on Earth prevayl against
The soveraine Right, and Intrest of the Saints;
Who Human Nature æqually Improve,
By vice below, as wel, as Grace above:
And carry all their Actions, closer then
The Good or Bad of other Pious Men.
For when Religion's settled in a state
'Tis nothing, but a Church Incorporate,
In which, both Saints, and Sinners are inrould,
And all their Gifts by æqual Charter Hold:
A spiritual Rabble, where the Bad, and Good,
Are undistinguisht Priviledge allowd;
And when 'tis Renderd Uniforme, is made,
And Regulated only like a Trade;
Designd for Natural, and Carnal Ends,
And not Religious unity of Friends:
So all our zealous taking Parts, and Siding
At first grew out of Nothing, but Dividing:
And all our Prizes, Playd at Fasts, and Prayer,
And Holding-forth, but New Designs, to share;
When Saltmarsh, Sedgwick, Arrowsmith, and Jenkins
Had Jealous Eies of one anothers Sinkings
And evry Pretious, and Enlightend Brother,
Suspected th' over-Earnings of another:
'Twas only sharing of our Dividends
That first of all, Divided Saints, and Friends
Untill they turnd to Sects, that had their Being
From mutual Jealousy, and Disagreeing.
Did nothing but from others Lights Dissent,
As stubbornly as Laws and Government.
Of all the Hopes we once had, to Complaine.
And no less Mad, to Dream awake of Force,
As long as all the British world Concur's:
When those we freely Made, the supreme Powrs,
The English Nation, have Disposd of ours
Impossible, by us, to be Restord;
By Acting Politiquely, above Boord,
But by the craftier Intrieges of State,
T' Impose, and Juggle, and Insinuate:
The Devils Dark Georgiques, which some write,
He Practices, to sow his Tares by Night
Heapes-up, and Spreads his Dong, on Barren Soyles,
To bring up Plenteous weeds of New Turmoyles:
To make us, undertake, to Prog, and Tamper:
Between the Hall below, and Painted Chamber:
For who but we alone, are Fit, and Able,
To Manage so Mysterious a Cabal?
Have Gifts, and Dispensations Necessary,
Such wonderful out-goingses to Carry?
Wee who have been bred-up, and Edifyd
To steare Designes of Providence, and Guide:
Have Powr to Rais them, for the Causes service,
Supplys of Mony, Able men, and Purveyse;
It is but only shifting of the Scene
For th' Antient Actors, to come in agen:
The Plot, Designe, and Actors, are the same
Persue the self-same Argument, and aime:
When all the Church Preferments in the Nation,
Are but one Generall Impropriation.
Which tho w' Indeavor to Inlarge, and Stretch
Wil never, to our Hopes, and Projects reach:
Altho w' have Bred-up all our Ablest Pupils
In all the Curiositys of Scruples:
To know why Horrid Crimes are swallod easy
And little Faylings Difficult, and Queasy:
The sevrall Methods of Improving Scismes,
Upon the Least, and Slightest Criticisms:
448
Made nothing of the Heads, and Bloud of Kings.
'Twil serve to make our Former Doctrine good,
The Covenant can never be withstood:
Nor any Powr on Earth prevayl against
The soveraine Right, and Intrest of the Saints;
Who Human Nature æqually Improve,
By vice below, as wel, as Grace above:
And carry all their Actions, closer then
The Good or Bad of other Pious Men.
For when Religion's settled in a state
'Tis nothing, but a Church Incorporate,
In which, both Saints, and Sinners are inrould,
And all their Gifts by æqual Charter Hold:
A spiritual Rabble, where the Bad, and Good,
Are undistinguisht Priviledge allowd;
And when 'tis Renderd Uniforme, is made,
And Regulated only like a Trade;
Designd for Natural, and Carnal Ends,
And not Religious unity of Friends:
So all our zealous taking Parts, and Siding
At first grew out of Nothing, but Dividing:
And all our Prizes, Playd at Fasts, and Prayer,
And Holding-forth, but New Designs, to share;
When Saltmarsh, Sedgwick, Arrowsmith, and Jenkins
Had Jealous Eies of one anothers Sinkings
And evry Pretious, and Enlightend Brother,
Suspected th' over-Earnings of another:
'Twas only sharing of our Dividends
That first of all, Divided Saints, and Friends
Untill they turnd to Sects, that had their Being
From mutual Jealousy, and Disagreeing.
Did nothing but from others Lights Dissent,
As stubbornly as Laws and Government.
When all their Saints, for virtu, and Religion,
Might have been Chaplains to the Devil Legion:
And when the Independent Disciplin
Had turnd us out, and brought their own tribe in:
The Good old Cause became another thing,
To make their Patriarch Oliver a King:
Which those that had been most Imployd upon,
Obstructed all, that others would have don;
Provd Brethren of a Negative Profession,
With Independent Consciences, and Reason.
Tho No men else Free wil so much Disown,
And what th' are most Devoted to, Cry down:
Had rather suffer all the Despratst Ills,
Then to be Debard the wretchedst of their will:
And when wee by th' Immutable Decres
Of Providence, can Sentence whom we Please,
They gave themselvs, a voluntary warrant,
Of æqual Powr, to execute before hand:
Enabled both the one, and th' other Saint
Like Æacus, in Hell, and Rhadamant;
As both a Judge to Destiny, and Sherife
T' Arraine, Condemn, and hang-up or Reprieve:
That servd for Partys, witnesses, and Jurys,
And Executioners to all the Furys.
And scornd as much In Spirituals t' obey,
As in Profane Ingagements, but for Pay.
Were wont the Christian Faith t' adulterate,
With Jewish Principles of Church and State,
And cobbled a Religion up, that's neither,
The New, nor Old, but forgd of both together,
Made Peacefull Precepts o' th' New testament,
For Rapine, Bloud, and war, as Pertinent
As Orthodox, and Apostolique Hold
As all the Desolations of the old
For since both æqually wee, Scripture name,
In all things else they ought to be the same.
Might have been Chaplains to the Devil Legion:
And when the Independent Disciplin
Had turnd us out, and brought their own tribe in:
The Good old Cause became another thing,
To make their Patriarch Oliver a King:
Which those that had been most Imployd upon,
Obstructed all, that others would have don;
Provd Brethren of a Negative Profession,
With Independent Consciences, and Reason.
Tho No men else Free wil so much Disown,
And what th' are most Devoted to, Cry down:
Had rather suffer all the Despratst Ills,
Then to be Debard the wretchedst of their will:
449
Of Providence, can Sentence whom we Please,
They gave themselvs, a voluntary warrant,
Of æqual Powr, to execute before hand:
Enabled both the one, and th' other Saint
Like Æacus, in Hell, and Rhadamant;
As both a Judge to Destiny, and Sherife
T' Arraine, Condemn, and hang-up or Reprieve:
That servd for Partys, witnesses, and Jurys,
And Executioners to all the Furys.
And scornd as much In Spirituals t' obey,
As in Profane Ingagements, but for Pay.
Were wont the Christian Faith t' adulterate,
With Jewish Principles of Church and State,
And cobbled a Religion up, that's neither,
The New, nor Old, but forgd of both together,
Made Peacefull Precepts o' th' New testament,
For Rapine, Bloud, and war, as Pertinent
As Orthodox, and Apostolique Hold
As all the Desolations of the old
For since both æqually wee, Scripture name,
In all things else they ought to be the same.
A Levits Concubine, that Nation stood
In more Distruction, Massacres, and Bloud
Then Greece, and Troy did either give, or take,
In ten yeares time, for Bewteous Hellens sake:
And, if they were so lavish of their Bloud,
Why should the Saints less Freedom be allowd?
Especi[a]lly that have so great a Stake,
Deposited for what they undertake?
In more Distruction, Massacres, and Bloud
Then Greece, and Troy did either give, or take,
In ten yeares time, for Bewteous Hellens sake:
And, if they were so lavish of their Bloud,
Why should the Saints less Freedom be allowd?
Especi[a]lly that have so great a Stake,
Deposited for what they undertake?
Which makes some other Zealots, to Proscribe
And worry all, that are not of their Tribe:
Omit no time t' Increase, and Propagate
The mutual correspondences, of Hate:
For no wars else, of Turks, and Renegados,
Were ever so Inhuman, as Croysados.
That Breaking Ground Accompt as th' only Course,
Of taking in the Gates of Heavn, by Force:
Or working in a Strong fortification,
The very same with working-out Salvation;
And therefore spends his Longs, and melts his Greace,
In Picking Quarrels with the Publique Peace:
And where there was no kinde of Government,
About Absurd Dividing it Dissent;
For no seard Conscience ever was so fell
As that, which has been burnt with zeal.
At conventicle Dutys, do's but say
His more then Houres Canonique, and not Pray.
Who censure, and condemne the Papist[s] for't,
Because they do the same thing, but more short;
That Bear's up Confidently, by mere force
Of Ignorance, against his Governors,
Indures no Power on Earth to be supreme,
As Empty Boates sayl best against the Streame.
For Nonsense being neither False nor true,
A little wit to any thing, may Screw!
Tell all the sottish Tales of Former Clergies
And lay 'em only to the Moderns Charges
That make the Independent-Church Metropolis,
Of all their Simoniacall Monopolys:
And forcd the Brethren to conforme to one,
That in their Hearts, and Principles had none.
But like the Antient Sanctum of the Jews,
Held nothing else, but Lumber, and old shoos!
And since Christ, when he was to be betrayd,
Appeard Impatient of his b'ing Delayd
He is more civil, when it lights in's way,
And has a Special care he should not stay.
And worry all, that are not of their Tribe:
Omit no time t' Increase, and Propagate
The mutual correspondences, of Hate:
For no wars else, of Turks, and Renegados,
Were ever so Inhuman, as Croysados.
That Breaking Ground Accompt as th' only Course,
Of taking in the Gates of Heavn, by Force:
Or working in a Strong fortification,
The very same with working-out Salvation;
And therefore spends his Longs, and melts his Greace,
In Picking Quarrels with the Publique Peace:
And where there was no kinde of Government,
About Absurd Dividing it Dissent;
For no seard Conscience ever was so fell
As that, which has been burnt with zeal.
At conventicle Dutys, do's but say
His more then Houres Canonique, and not Pray.
450
Because they do the same thing, but more short;
That Bear's up Confidently, by mere force
Of Ignorance, against his Governors,
Indures no Power on Earth to be supreme,
As Empty Boates sayl best against the Streame.
For Nonsense being neither False nor true,
A little wit to any thing, may Screw!
Tell all the sottish Tales of Former Clergies
And lay 'em only to the Moderns Charges
That make the Independent-Church Metropolis,
Of all their Simoniacall Monopolys:
And forcd the Brethren to conforme to one,
That in their Hearts, and Principles had none.
But like the Antient Sanctum of the Jews,
Held nothing else, but Lumber, and old shoos!
And since Christ, when he was to be betrayd,
Appeard Impatient of his b'ing Delayd
He is more civil, when it lights in's way,
And has a Special care he should not stay.
For as the Turkish Sultan makes his Farms,
To beare him Mighty Crops of Men at Armes:
And evry Cuntry Messuage, and Timar,
Instead of Beasts to breed him Men of war.
So where the Brethren Are Impourd, They turn
To Bloud, and Massacres, the whole Concern:
And make all Cuntrys serve for Nurserys,
To furnish Desolation, with Supplys:
And tender Consciences, are always found
Of such Recruits, to bee the Richest Grounde.
To beare him Mighty Crops of Men at Armes:
And evry Cuntry Messuage, and Timar,
Instead of Beasts to breed him Men of war.
So where the Brethren Are Impourd, They turn
To Bloud, and Massacres, the whole Concern:
And make all Cuntrys serve for Nurserys,
To furnish Desolation, with Supplys:
And tender Consciences, are always found
Of such Recruits, to bee the Richest Grounde.
For the Religion, when it wages war
It go's against its Native Character,
Yet nothing has a greater Powr to further
Their out-ward men, then Sacriledg and murther.
It go's against its Native Character,
Yet nothing has a greater Powr to further
Their out-ward men, then Sacriledg and murther.
And as their Interests agree, or Differ,
Make evry man a Saint, or unbeliever.
Make evry man a Saint, or unbeliever.
That leave the Church, their Hives, like Swarms of Bees,
To build in Rotten Holes, or Hollow Trees.
To build in Rotten Holes, or Hollow Trees.
Zeal
Proselyts are stil most RealAnd busy with their smattring zeal,
Like other Thievs, that Before Christmas Steal
To keep the Holy Feast with Greater Zeal.
451
Cruelty
Who Taunted with a Silly FlurtBuryd alive an Army for't.
Conscience
The Tongue of Conscience is no slander,For, though it call a great Commander
Pultron and Coward to his face,
He nere considers what he says.
Prelates
Who since they Could not make a Priest a Prince,Have made them Convertible ever since;
And, by Inferring a supposd mixt Person,
Maintain the proud sophistical Conversion,
By which all Truth and Reason's Sacrifict
To th' Arbitrary Intrest of a Priest.
Popery
As Proper as Figleaves did Suite
With Eating of Forbidden Fruite.
With Eating of Forbidden Fruite.
The Catholique Religion, for the Souls Good,
Make's no Distinction between Truth, and Falshood
And as they use to falsify a Blow
'Tis all their Art to pass upon the Fo.
Make's no Distinction between Truth, and Falshood
And as they use to falsify a Blow
'Tis all their Art to pass upon the Fo.
Infallible as the Pope made Henry th' Eighth
Defender of his Signory of Faith,
Who in a few months Provd a brave Defendant
And did his uttermost [to make] an End on't.
Defender of his Signory of Faith,
Who in a few months Provd a brave Defendant
And did his uttermost [to make] an End on't.
As Naturally as a Jesuite
To th' Gallows turn's a Zealous Proselyte.
To th' Gallows turn's a Zealous Proselyte.
As Fewest Popes, and Cardinals, and Priests
Of al Saints else, are in the Churches Lists:
And more Consecrated women, then
The Rubrique can Produce of Sainted men.
Of al Saints else, are in the Churches Lists:
And more Consecrated women, then
The Rubrique can Produce of Sainted men.
For Pasquil and Morphorius are the Sum
Of all th' Apostles modern Acts in Rome.
Of all th' Apostles modern Acts in Rome.
452
As Barbers in the Church of Rome Degrade
Or shave a Priest int' Orders by his Trade.
Or shave a Priest int' Orders by his Trade.
As Papists cannot Pray to Saints, unless
Th' are Prompted to it by their Images,
Forget th' are in the Number of Mankinde
Unless th' are by a Deads head put in minde.
Th' are Prompted to it by their Images,
Forget th' are in the Number of Mankinde
Unless th' are by a Deads head put in minde.
Trade
Ships are the Only Caravan
That Trades upon the Ocean,
And travels through the wildernes
And Barren Deserts of the Seas
Without the Feare of Beasts of Prey
Or wilder Arabs in their way;
And the wooden Dromedary
The Merchant and his Cargo Carry.
That Trades upon the Ocean,
And travels through the wildernes
And Barren Deserts of the Seas
Without the Feare of Beasts of Prey
Or wilder Arabs in their way;
And the wooden Dromedary
The Merchant and his Cargo Carry.
For trade has wonderful Effects
T' Improve the Factory of Sects,
For which Dutch Brethren, in Japan,
Renounce the Name of Christian:
Turn Musselmans again in Afrique
To Propagate the Faith of Traffique.
T' Improve the Factory of Sects,
For which Dutch Brethren, in Japan,
Renounce the Name of Christian:
Turn Musselmans again in Afrique
To Propagate the Faith of Traffique.
As Holland Merchants when the States in Peace
Do finde their Actions constantly increase;
But English Banians, that Deal with Sects,
In Doubtful Times improve their Lewd Effects.
Do finde their Actions constantly increase;
But English Banians, that Deal with Sects,
In Doubtful Times improve their Lewd Effects.
Friendship
Those whom Conscious Crimes indeareAre Friends ingagd by Hate and Feare;
Are but united with the Cement
Of Fellow-Sufferers Agreement.
Infancy
The wit of Children that begins too soon
Before th' outgrow their Infancy, is gone.
Before th' outgrow their Infancy, is gone.
For words are Fitter for a Child to learn
Then Matters of a weightier Concern.
Then Matters of a weightier Concern.
453
The only Cloaths, that Embryos weare in th' womb
But leave them off, when in the world they come,
And Put on others which the Midwife trims
To fit the Fashion of their Tender Limbs.
But leave them off, when in the world they come,
And Put on others which the Midwife trims
To fit the Fashion of their Tender Limbs.
Musique
Musique is Bewty to the Eare,That charm's the Soules of all that Heare;
Attracts Devotion, with its Aire, and words;
To string its Beads upon its Charming Cords....
Can se[w] Devotion to an Aire
And set a Saraband t' a Prayer.
Stinke
A Stink that's able
To cure th' Infection of a Stable
And Prove as great an Antidote
Against the Horse-pox as a Goate.
To cure th' Infection of a Stable
And Prove as great an Antidote
Against the Horse-pox as a Goate.
A Goat, the Antient say, is never
Without an everlasting Feaver.
Without an everlasting Feaver.
Raysd like a mighty Lord in Mary-land
Where he that stinks most, has the greatest Command.
Where he that stinks most, has the greatest Command.
Sidrophel
Imploy your old Malitious ArtsTo undermine all Mens Deserts,
And, like a Pauper, question those
Who you believe have most to loose,
Discover Counterfets and Fooles
By your own Practices and Rules,
Fall foul on all that's good, or Rare,
To gaine a Base Informers share,
And lewdly intitle others to
What you your self are wont to do,
Although it yeald you in Returne,
Nothing but Infamy, and Scorne.
Provoke the Enemy by whom
Y' have been Subdu'd, and overcome
454
Have forfited t' your Conqueror
All Right and Title you had once
T' your Inward, and Outward Dunce.
You take a Right Course to reclame
The world from Infamy and Shame:
For Slander e're so foul, or true,
Turnes Honor when it comes from you,
And though no Flesh can 'scape the wrong
Of your unworm'd, Impetuous Tongue,
That still stand's ready to attack
Th' unknown, and known behinde his Back
(As Cutpurses nere minde what Sum
Nor who it is they take it from)
You never slip the least occasion
T' invade the Instant Reputation:
As Heraulds in a wolf or Beare
Make Tongue, and Nayles one Culler weare,
So you, whose valour's to defame,
Make Slander, and Revenge the same;
And, as when haughty Sathan fell
From Heaven, to the Pit of Hell,
He made it his first worke t' intice
Mankind to fall from Paradise:
So 'tis your Aime to bring all down
To that lewd Infamy of your own;
An Envoy to negociate in
Transactions of Decrepit Sin,
In Baudery a Heretique
And Pimp to those, that whip and Lick,
Has vented many a Strange opinion
As if the Dev'l himself were in him.
Unclassified verses
Iris, on the Banks of Thames,Her Eies bedewd with Teares,
To Chloris sayd, Reserve your Flames,
For Men are Flatterers.
They'l sweare and tell you, it may bee,
They Passionately Love,
But after ten days Absence—see
What Traiters they wil Prove.
| Satires and miscellaneous poetry and prose | |