Satires and miscellaneous poetry and prose :: :: University of Virginia Library

Have wee not Built a Stately Colledge
T' instruct Four Nations in all knowledge
(Who now are Barbarus and Rude)
As soon as once they are subdu'de?
But what or where these Nations are
Wee know as little as they care
Nor when the Busnes wilbe don
Unles th' are Colonies i' th' Moon.

Fooles (like Philosophers) disdain
All that's Impossible t' obtain,
And b'ing incapable of wit
Dispise, and undervalew it;
And as the Greeks by Hors, and Bul,
Discrib'd what s'ever 's great, and Full:
So he that would discribe their wit
By Horse and Bull must blazon it.

—None but Sots
Would put the Moon out for her Spots.

No Asse
'Ere knew what kinde of Beast he was.

Wit beare's no Rate but as it pleases:
So Pearels in Fishes, are Diseases,
And Perfumes of the Richest Sents
In Beasts but sores, or excrements.

Fancy in the Darke see's best
When outward eies Discern the least.

As we finde Small Partys are
The fittest for Surprize in ware,
So Feeble wits in Consultations
Are best at Cavils and evasions.

154

Wit and Prayse (like Salt and sweet
In Cookery) can never meete.

The Lives of th' old Philosophers of Greece,
Were but their Apothegm's and Repartee's.
For all their Actions Historys discover,
Are what they us'd so often to say over.

Dancers jog down all their wit
Out of their Heads, into their Feet.

The Ignorant and wise
Are to each other of a Size;
And both as nat'rally contemne
The wise, th' Ignorant, and they them.

Great wits have only been Preferd
In Princes Traines to be interd;
And, when they cost them nothing, Placd
Among their Followers not the last;
But, while they livd, were far enough
From al Admittances kept of[f].

Wit
Wil neither Love, nor money get.

As Salt Rust[s] swords; so too much wit
Debases valour when they meet.

Th' one Half of wit's maintaind by Folly
That finde's it Fresh supplys to Rally;
For wit's unable to Invent
What Idiots naturally vent.

Wits who have little enough t' ingage,
Are cold, before their time, to th' Stage.

For these take measure of their own,
That Cry all others Talent down.
And by their own false Standards, try
All others Ingenuity.

One who had wanted long
A Sphincter Mussle to his Tongue.

155

So great a Thief, hee'd cut the wit
From under a Smal Poets feet.

All Prophesies that Rhime and Quible
Are truer the[n] the Leaves of Sibil.

Too much or too little Ingenuity and wit
Do only render th' owners fit
For Nothing, but to be undon
Much easier, then if th' had none.

Like Philosophers, A wittall
Is with his Parts Content though ere so little;
For hee believs, that has the least,
Hee's better furnishd then the best.

In th' Age of Turnaments, and Tilting
All wit in Stiching lay and Quilting;
When Men did weare their Prettyst Jests
Imbroderd on their Backs and Brests,
And None Invok'd a Muse or Phœbus,
But to be Inspird with a Rebus;
And He was Held the subtlest witted,
Whose Motto, and Imprese best Fitted.
From hence came Clinch, at first, and Quibble,
At which the Revrend Men still Nibble,
And hold their wit and Parts undon
In overseeing of a Pun.
When all our venerable Benches
Gave Judgment and Pronouncd in Clinches,
And he, who was but at a Loss,
Was Counted very Dull and Gross;
And none so worthy to sit there,
As those who on a Poynt could Jeare.
Next after these came Ends of Latin,
Though now 'tis held but idle Prating,
But then the Greates[t] Hight of Art
To have most Sentences by Heart.

For Nature never gave to Mortall yet
A Free and Arbitrary Pow'r of wit,
But bound him to the Good Behavior for't
That he should never use it to do hurt.

156

Most men are so unjust to looke upon
Anothers wit as Enemy t' his own.

For wit and Fancy, like a Diamond,
The more exact, and curious, 'tis ground,
Is forcd, for evry Caract, to abate,
As much in valew, as it wants in weight.

It is a harder thing for men to Rate
Their own Parts at an æqual estimate,
Then cast up Fractions, in th' Account of heaven,
Of time, and motion, and Adjust them eaven:
For modest Persons, never had a tru
Particular, of all, that is their Due.

All wit do's but Divert men from the Road,
In which things vulgarly are understood,
And Force Mistake and Ignorance to own
A Better Sense, then commonly is known.

For Men Learn sooner then they can Imagin,
Take Folly and Ill habits by Contagion,
And, as the Persons they converse with Hap,
Catch Ignorance or Reason like a Clap
And Propagate the epidemique Ach
Which all the Rest of one another catch.

As no Edge is accounted sharp and keene
That by the subtlest Eie is to be seen,
So no wit for Acute should be Allowd
That's Plaine, and Easy to be understood.

For those get least, that take the greatest Pains,
But least of all i' th' Drudgery of Brains,
A Natral Sign of weaknes, as an Ant
Is more Laborius then an Elephant,
And Children are more busy at their Play
Then men that wisest pas their time away.

157

LEARNING

For what do's all Philosophy
But teach men Learnedly to Ly?
From false Grounds solidly t' infer
And how Judiciously to erre,
To universalls strech all Art
Untill 'tis Lame in evry Part.

What Nature had to human eies denyd,
He with the optiques of his minde discry'd.

Bookes and Schooles
Made Few men wise, but worlds of Fooles.

The History of Learning is so Lame;
That 'tis unknown, from whence, at first it came:
Or who Invented it; For th' old Ægyptian
Do's only, claime a Title, by Præsc[r]iption,
Time out of Minde; and the untutord Græcians,
Were taught their Alphabet, by th' old Phœnicians.
Whence some are Confident, The Hebrew-Jew
Has better Right, to challeng, as his Due.
Derivd from Adam: As their own Samboscer
(The Rabins write) His Tutor was, and usher;
Till many Ages after, Greece, and Rome,
Were into Full Possession of it come.
Whence some have thought; 'Twas but to call to minde
Some Notions, left, in th' other world Behinde;
And quite forgotten, in our Passage hither,
Untill we Had Collected them, together.

The Noblest Sense was never Learnt, nor taught
But into this world with the owner brought
As Naturally as a Part, or Limbe,
That was Begotten, and grew up with him.
From whence it was, The Antient world was wont
T' ascribe Invention to some Gods Account.
For there's no Liberal Art, nor Document
That teache's how to Fancy and Invent.

158

That's but a Natural Freehold of Merit
Which only those wh' are born to can Inherit.
Yet when The Freest Judgment, and first Starts
Of Reason are the Signes of greatest Parts
Some think they are but dainty Fruits that Drop,
By Beast, or vermine to be Eaten up.

The Faults of Language, are the variations,
Of Dialects, and Moods, and Declinations,
With æqual wants of Syntax, to Reduce,
And make hang together, in their use.
In which, the Nat'rall Temper of the Greek
Is both the most Luxuriant, and to seeke.
And yet their Sages, who are known, s' absurd,
To put their Stress of Reason, on a word,
Could never express exactly what they meant
Untill they had Destroyd the Argument.

In all mistakes, The Strickt, and Regular,
Are found, to be the Desperatst ways to Erre:
And worst to be avoyded, as a wound
Is sayd to be, the harder Curd, that's Round:
For Error and mistake the less th' Appeare
In th' End are found to be the Dangrouser;
As no Man mind's those Clocks that use to go
Apparently to[o] over fast, or slow.

More Proselyts, and Converts, use t' accrew
To false Perswasions, then the Right, and true.
For Error, and Mystake, are Infinite
But Truth has only one way, to b' in the Right.
As Numbers may t' Infinity be Grown
But never be Reducd to less then one.

The Stoiques believd, the Gods could do no good
Nor Hurt, themselvs, but as the Fates allowd;
But when they stickled for it, in their Porch,
The Fates forsooke and left them in the lurch,
Exposd them to maintaine it with the losses
Of some mens lives, and others Eies, and Noses,
And provd their own opinions, by their Fall,
That some Mens virtu is an Animal.

159

The Epicureans had no persuasion
T' Imploy the Gods upon this worlds Creation;
Believ'd 'twas Modeld not by Artifice
But Fortune, and Haphazard, piece by piece;
And to afflict 'em for their Ignorance
Believd themselvs as Justly made by Chance,
Until th' Athenians for their Principles
Chargd them with luxury, and nothing else.

So He that offers Nature best to know,
Deny's the God[s], H' had made his Prayers to.
Begs Venus t' use her Interest with Mars
To Leave his Battles (for a while) and wars
And, for his Patron Memmius, Intercede
To be at leasure, what he sayd, to Read,
But Presently conclude[s], The Gods Forbear
To medle with our little Intrests here,
And, when he makes the Heavy thing[s] ascend,
Because the greatest Trees do upward tend,
Forgot that Trees grow upward to their Hight
When all the thin Attracted Parts are light.

So he that put his Son to Socrates
To learn to Prove, what ever, he should please,
To pay his Debts with Arguments, chose rather
To shew his skil in Beating of his Father,
And after answer for it, in a Court,
As he Design'd, and was acquitted for't.

[Learned Men]
Are wont to fortify the weakest Places
Of all their Studies with the Hardest Phrases,
Tho wholly unconcernd in Truth or Falshood
But as they Chance to fall out for the Souls good
But always Pin a Hebrew Alphabet
Upon the Hangings where they use to eat;
With Prints of Hieroglyphiques on the wals,
With Kircher Box of whistles and Catcals,
And many a Talismanical Device
To Root out vermine with, and Rats and mice;
Whose most Extempral and Careles Act
Is stiffer then an antique Cataphract.

160

No mathematician ever was Esteemd
That had not been for Conjurer condemnd.

The Metaphysique's but a Puppet Motion
That go's with Screw's, the Notion of a Notion,
The Copy of a Copy, and Lame Draught
Unnaturally taken from a thought;
That Counterfets all Pantomimique Tricks
And Turnes the Eies, like an old Crucifix.
That Counter Changes, whatsoe're it calls
B' another Name, and make's it tru, or False.
Turns truth to falshood, Falshood into Truth
By vertu of the Babilonians Tooth.

For Reason is not only found to Grow,
But wast's, and weares out, with the Body too.
Is Sickly, and In health, and Sleeps, and wakes,
And whatsoere the Body feeles Partakes.
When all their Reason[s] have but one Result,
And that's Instinct, or Quality occult,
That understand when Reason's at its Height,
And when again Impertinent and slight;
When it Approaches next to Demonstration,
And when no Nearer then Imagination.

If greatest Masters, ere they reachd their Height,
Had not in Bungling, found as much Delight
As After in their greatest Mastery,
They never had Arrivd at that Degree.

The Best Authority, instead of Reasons,
Is but a Kind of Statute with Defeasance:
For things that are Imperiously sayd
Are but the sooner to be disobeyd.

For all Inventions that the world Contains
Were not by Reason first found out, but chance;
But Pass for theirs, who had the Luck to light
Upon them by Mistake, or oversight.

A Language Dead can never be Restord
So much to Life, to own a New made word;
Were Tully now alive, Hee'd be to seek
In all our Latin Tearms of Art, and Greek.

161

Would never understand one word of Sense,
The most Irrefragables[t] Schoolman means;
As if the Schooles Designd their Tearms of Art
Not to Advance a Science, but Divert;
As Hocus-Pocus Conjures, to amuse
The Rabble, from observing what he do's.

The world had never been a St[r]aw the worse
If it had never had Philosophers.

For Metaphysique's but a kinde of Brandy
Drawn out of Dead-wine Leeze, t' ingage, and bandy
And yet wil serve Inceptors to Comence,
And take Degrees, much easier then with Sense,
To clabber-claw a tough and stuborn Theses
To any Nonsense, either Party Pleases:
For some Mens Fortunes like a weft or stray
Are only Gained by losing of their way.

So he that held th' Ete[r]nity of Nature
In the next place, makes mention, of First matter;
And after, to Interpret what he means,
Put's on the words a Metaphisique Sense;
Which some b' a second hand Mistake, have been
So Confident, to take their Oaths, Th' have seene.

For 'tis not strange for Disputants t' assert
What both deny (Implicitly) by Art:
The one to prove, the other, to Disclame,
When both mistake themselves; and meane the same.

The more men take upon them, and Profess
To know all things, they understand the lesse;
Who count it a Disparagment, and Shame
To heare an unknown Booke, or Authors Name,
Or aske the meaning of a word abroad,
They never heard before, nor understood,
For feare of being Suspected, For their want
Of knowing all things, weake and Ignorant,
The only course that never fayles, t' Advance,
And fortify, their Nat'rall Ignorance.

162

The Barbarousest Nations Adages
Are wittyer, then those of Rome, and Greece,
Which Pædants with their greatest Diligence
Had rather breed their Pupils to, then sense.
As Properer to fit the Idiom
Of th' Antique Parrots and Jack-daws of Rome.

The wits of Mankind are but subtle Spirits
Designd to Hunt in th' underworld like Ferrets,
But have no wings to Raise themselves and Fly
Beyond their Altitude at things too High.

For when the Circulation of the Bloud
Tho ere so easy, was not understood,
How should the world expect that things more hard
Should ever be Discoverd afterward.

163

ARTS AND SCIENCES

Rules
Were made for Novices, and Fooles.

The old Ægyptians stered their Boats
And Sayld down Cataracts of Spoats,
Made Spectacles t' Improve the Sight
And see i' th' Dark as wel as light.

'Tis strange how stubbornly industrious
Some men are found t' appeare Preposterous,
That spare no Drudgery, and Paines
To wast their little stock of Braines,
All Arts and Sciences perplex,
And, with a thousand idle Freakes,
The Government of Nature vex,
And like Fanatiques in their Hearts
Have visions, and New lights in Arts;
From old Designes of water-engines
Steal Gifts, and Lights of New Inventions,
Make Pumps for water, and their wit,
To Rayse 'em both so many feet,
And forge their Gimcracks at the Rate
Fanatiques use in Church, and State,
And out of Antique Theorems
New Jiggambobs of Light and Dreames.

Smattrers are more Brisk and Peart
Then those who understand an Art,
As little spa[r]kles shine more bright
Then Glowing Coales, that give 'em light,
Whose sudden Vanitys and Flashes
Are clouded by themselves with Ashes.

'Tis not the Art of Schools to understand,
But make things Hard, in stead of b'ing explaind;
And therefore Those are comonly, the Learnedst,
That only study between Jest, and Earnest:

164

For when the End of Learning's to Pursue,
And trace, the Subtle steps, of false and true,
They ne're consider how they are t' Apply,
But only listen, to the Noyse and Cry,
And are so much Delighted with the Chace,
They never mind the Taking of their Preys.

For Books are but a Kinde of Utensils
Of Turning Children upon Potters wheels,
That, when th' are ore'clogd with heavy men,
Reduce 'em natrally to Boys agen.

For Bookes were made for Men, not Men for Bookes,
No more then Meat was made for dressing Cookes;
Are Commonly the By-blows of an Author:
Not one in Forty has an Honest Mother.

165

PÆDANTS

For Pædantry is But a Lewd Caprich
Which Pupills Catch of Tutor's like the Itch;
And many nere Recover, till th' are Men,
But still grow worse till th' are twice Boys agen;
That in the world at first was Introducd
As but the Garbe, and meen, that Schollers usd,
But since is so Inlargd it has outgrown
The usefull Part of all that's to be known,
And in its Roome Imported Affectations
Of Obsolete, and Antiquitated Fashions;
From whence the virtuoso-wit of France
Do's not oppose to knowledg, Ignorance
[But] Pædantry, as th' Horribler Defect
And Imperfection of the Intellect.
Besides the Crambe-Surfets of his Parts
Diseasd, and Cropsick, with his Nauseous Arts:
For all a Pædants Skill Ly's in his Tearms
As conjurers and witches in their Charms,
That never Speaks, But Consters, and Imbr[o]thers
The Bumbast-Stuff, with Ends of Antique Authors
More Insignificant, then Osce, and Volsce,
Or Modern Macaronique Linsy-wolse,
The Constant Pedlers Dialect, of Schoolers
Patcht up with Scraps, of Diffrent Stufs, and Cullers,
More Tawdry then a Botchers Chequerd Cushion
He Sings, and stiches with his Legs a Cross-on,
And (like a Fripprer) do's but Turn and Dress
The wrong-side out-wards sevrall Languages
Of which He smatters greater Stores at once
Then th' Antique Hundred voyces could Pronounce.
So He that usd to set the Highest valews
Upon a word, of Meane Condition, Alius,
A Paltry Epithite Prizd it beyond
The Richest Jewells meerly, for the Sound,
And Counted those the Eloquentst Clarks
That Frequentst Introduct it, in their works.

166

A Tru Pedantique writer in a worke
Wil manage all his matters with a Fork
And not omit the least Puntilio
That might his Breding and Good-manners show.
As Formall as a Ceremonious Author
Quote's the Right worshipful his Elder Brother.

A Pædagogue, that mounted in his Schoole
Is but a Kinde of Master of Misrule,
Is Puft up with his own conceipt, and Swels
With Pride and vanity and Nothing else,
Like Bladders in the Late Pneumatique Engine,
Blown up with nothing but their owne Extension.

And when he speak's in Languages unknown
To those that hardly understand their own,
Talke's to himself, as other madmen use,
And only is Permited to go loose.

For Pædants teach their youth, to Apprehend
And take their Lessons in at the wrong end;
And when they'r sick, have been præscribed by Leaches
For exercise, to Labour at their Breeches.

167

VIRTUOSO

Logitians use to clap a Proposition,
As Justices do Criminals, in Prison;
And in as Learnd Authentique Nonsense writ,
The Names of all their Moodes and figures fit;
For a Logician's one, that has been broke
To Ride and Pace his Reason by the Booke,
And by their Rules, and Precepts, and Examples,
To put his wits into a kind of Trammells.

For as the Famous Trismegist,
B' observing of a Beast that Pist,
Is sayd t' have first found out a way
To Reckon evry Howr o' th' Day,
And, when he had the water Cast,
Could tell Correctly how time Past,
So some, by Chamber Pots and Glasse[s],
Can tell as truly how time Passes;
And, as the Tides of Liquor Run,
Can Calculate the Course o' th' Sun,
And [that] More Certain and exact
Then all the Tricks i' th' Almanack.

Until our Modern Curious virtuosos,
By only knocking at the Doores of Houses,
Will, by the Sound, unriddle the Just Sum
How many Persons are in the Roome.

Take Ptolomy That Liv'd in Adrian's Days
For some Ægyptian King of th' antique Race
And Joyn him with his Colleague in the Stars
Alphonso Sovraine of Astronomers.

And when no Atom in the universe
The wit of Man (beyond the Name) can Pierce
It has (like Powder of a Diamond)
The Hardest Parts of Nature, Cut, and Ground,
And taught men to Discerp and Penetrate
All Form, and matter, simply as they say't.

168

When al his wit's unable to unriddle
The wonders of the Magnete, and the Needle
That makes the Globe o' th' Earth a Thoroughfare
To pass as Quick as Light dos through the Aire
And at a Race of Motion to out-run
And beat the Jaded Horses of the Sun.

169

ANTIQUITY

A little wit, and Reason's Necessary
To Qualify an able Antiquary;
Who has no Busnes for the Intellect
But to Transcrible and Copy, and Collect;
Is but an Antiquated Ghost that Haunts
The Charnel-Houses of the Antients
And calls the Dead Deponents up, to Answer
And solve all Questions of the Necromancer,
But has a Prejudice to all that's New
Though 'ere so useful, Rational, and Tru;
When al the Antients understood before
The Moderns have improvd, and somthing more.
As if Books, like a China-Potters Clay,
Prepard for th' use of After-ages lay,
And Time, that can the Hardest things devour,
Ore Feeble Age and Error had no Power,
And that which stubbornst Adamants can break
Turnd Edge against the most infirme and weake.

The Antients Had no Folios, nor Pages
That have been since found out, by after Ages,
Were Nice of Forraine words, and Affectations,
Of Far-fet, and outlandish Imitations.
Disdaind to Copy, and Translate, and Quote,
And if they would, they Had no way to do't.
Had not so much, as Indexes, to looke,
And finde out what, they sought for, in a Booke.
Knew nothing of a Table to an Author
T' examine, and Discover what they sought for:
But had a freer way of Sense, and wit,
In all they left, of what they sayd, or writ.
Had not so many Languages to Purchace,
As Men are now Ingaged in, to no Purpose.
For if the world Grow Elder ev'ry howr
Since the Creation, then it was before,
The Modern Ages wilbe found, to bee
The Best Pretenders, to Antiquity.

170

When all the Antique Globe of Heavn Containd
Was but the furniture of Sea, and Land;
And Men, and Beasts, and Birds, and Fish and Foul
Was but an Inventory of the whole;
The Orbes but Nests of Boxes, to Inclose
And Shut up Nature fast, from Breaking loose;
Whence al their Learned Men were of Opinion
Nothing could Represent them better then an Inion
That, in the Judgment of Philosophers,
[Were] Natral Types of al the universe.

The Antients in their writings are not found
To be the least Pedantique, and Hide-bound.

The Antients Layd up Stores of all Provisions
Of Common Places, Topiques, and Transitions.

For most men take their Learning upon Tick,
From the Antient Roman, or the Elder Greek:
And for the Revrence due to Age, believe
It ought to have the sole Prerogative;
And therefor whatsoere it do's, or says,
The world is bound, Implicitly to Pass.
For nothing is esteemd so Learnedish
As t' Imitate the Antients, tho Amis.
Who when in Publique Roads, Th' Interd the Dead,
Mad[e] Epitaphs, for Passengers to Read,
Which wee, to Imitate Antiquity,
To Travellers through Churches now Apply,
And Dedicate to all that Pass that Roade,
To keep the Antique Custome up, and Mode.
So when the Senate, and the States of Rome
Were wont to Rayse (for Nations over-come)
Triumphal Arches, to their Emperors,
The Moderns do it to themselvs, of course:
And when an Antique Book was but a Scroule,
They usd (like Maps) about a Stick to Roule,
And for the more Convenience of their use,
Were faine to Frequent Sections to Reduce,
Things that are now Impertinent, and vaine
Which we have now no use of, yet retaine:

171

The Moderns to preserve the Fashions, Reckon
The Length of all their writings by the Section.
As when the Antients counted Shepherds fit,
To Pass for Men of Quick, and Ready wit,
Though now the Ablest is as great a Dunce
As any other Sort of Rugged Clownes,
Wee to conform, write Eglogues in their Names
To vindicate the Title of their Clames,
Because No Sheep can shew so great a Stock
Of Magots, as a Pastral Poets Flock:
And Sillily have made to Sing, and Pipe,
Of all Perfections else a Standing Type:
So Aristotle was at first Debard
All Christian Schooles, yet Counted Afterward
The Schoolmens only Oracle, and Chief
Apostle of the Mystrys of Belief:
A Paradox not only against the Grain
Of all their own Opinions, but in vaine.
For why should they Reduce Belief to Proof,
If it be stronger when 'tis further off?
That's Necessary, by their own Confession,
If Faith have more Authority then Reason?

The Antients left the world more wise and Learnd
Then After ages when their Books were burnd
And other Barbarous writers in their Places
Supplyd the world with all their Sottish Trashes.

172

HISTORY

Th' Ægyptian Pyramids were first Begun
Upon the same Designe with Babilon
T' avoyd an Inundation and Deliver
The Founders from the Deluge of their River.

The Antients held no act Adul[t]erous
That was Committed in a Common house.

Medea in a Pot could Stew
Decayd old Age to youth anew,
And could with herbs and spices season
A youthfull Ragoust of old Æson;
Yet half his Cunning had she not,
That Could renew the very pot.

The British Language has no word
T' express a River but a Sword;
As if their swords much antienter
And long before their Rivers were,
And war more Natural then th' earth
Or Elements that brought them forth.

When Adam had eaten the forbidden fruite,
Of Leaves he made him a sligh[t] Summer suite;
But, being Banishd Eden for his Sins,
To labour like a Clown, h' was clad in Skins.

Lik Stow and Hollinshead who tell us where
The King did keep his Christmas evry yeare.

The Antient Jews did morne in sackcloth
As now the Christians do in black cloth.

The antient Picts made feasts
[Of] Sheperds Bums and womens brests.

For who but Fooles and Knaves possess
Those Antient Stately Pallaces,
Of Bethlem Sion, and Bridewell,
Where Princes heretofore did Dwell?

173

In Spaine
[T]hey count theyr yeares From Tubalkain,
[Th]e Patriarch of Iron Trades,
[T]hat Forgd Toled' and Bilbo-blades.

A Roman Prætor, as he led
His Army through the Gates of Rome,
Had hornes appearing on his head:
Which was interpreted if ere he Come
Within the wals of Rome againe
He wilbe crownd a King and Reigne.

A great Philosopher did choke
With laughing at a Jest he broke.

Th' Embassador of France,
Tooke out the Queen of Spain to dance
And after made a vow, and Swore
He'd never dance with Lady more
After so great a Queen had daygned
To let him take her by the hand.

In Rome no Temple was so low
As that of Honor, built to shew
[How] Humble Honor ought to bee,
Though there 'twas all Authority.

The great Saint Lewis, king of France,
Fighting against Mahometans,
In Ægipt, in the holy war,
Was routed and made Prisoner.
The Sultan then, into whose hands
He and his Army fell, demandes
A thousand weight of gold, to free
And set them al at Liberty.
The king pay's down half o' th' nayle,
And for the other offers bayle
The Pyx, and in't the Eucharist
The Body of our Savior Christ.
The Turk considerd, and allowd
The Kings Security for good;

174

Such Credit had the Christian Zeal
In those days with an Infidell,
That wil not pass for two pence now
Among themselves, 'tis faln so low.

The Mores believe Granada Ly's
Directly under Paradise,
And that they differ both no more
Then th' upper Roomes do from the Floure.

The Antients payd respect and wonder
To Trees or Person[s] struck with Thunder.

Was not king Dor forcd by the Tartar
To Keep Swine for a year and quarter,
And after being restord againe
Injoyd a Long and glorious Reigne?

Indians of Siam (Authors write)
Instead of Black do mourn in white.

The Spartans, that were held of all the Græcians
Most thrifty of their Language, and Expressions
That could indure no length of Circumstance
Yet cald themselves Lacedæmonians.

Chineses took the Busnes most unkinde
To see their Cuntry in our Maps designd,
And mad[e] the Skirts of all the universe,
Which they mistook to be the same to theirs.

So all Inferiors of that Cuntry use
Before their Betters to Pull of[f] their shoes:
And [when] two æqualls civilly Salute,
Neither wil yeld to take the upper Foot.

So those that at the Battle of Cressy, make
Theyr Bowstrings with a Showr of Rain, to slake
Were Ignorant of Nature, to forget
They were Contracted rather by the wet.
Else th' Ingineres of Rome that strov to Rayse
A great Aguglio, firm upon his Base,
Their Cables b'ing too long, had fayld, if Nature
Had not Retrencht them, when th' were drencht in water.

175

Th' old Romans us'd to match, and pair
Their servants with great Art and Care;
Were critically exact to see
Their Statures, and their Years agree;
To match the colour of their Hair,
The black with black, and fair with fair;
And accurately fit, and size
Their Mouths, their Noses, and their Eyes;
And made them wear their Limbs, and Faces
For Liv'rys of the self-same Laces.

176

ABSURDITIES

De Scudery make's Turks at Sea-shipt
Sayl through the Baltique Sea to Ægypt.

Predictions are but like Devises
At Lotterys to draw all Prizes.

Russian wives believe th' are usd
Unkindely till th' are Drubd and bruisd.

An Asse will with his long eares fray
The Flys, that tick[l]e him, away;
But Man delight's to have his eares
Blown Magots in by Flatterers.

At Saint Thomas Waterings
Where men a[re] Angled for, with Strings
And many a Tory-Navigator
Choakd like a Fish with Hemp in water.

The world has Long Indevord to Reduce
Those things to Practice, that are of no use,
And strive's to Practice things of Speculation
And bring the Practicall to Contemplation.
And by that Error, Renders both in vaine
By forcing Natures Course against the Graine.
What sort of Creature Summum Bonum was,
Philosophers Describe, so like an Ass.
If virtue were an Animall determine
Or vice, but Insects, and Imperfect vermine.
So Church Historians undertake to Tell
Where Th' Hous stands yet, of an old Parable.
And shew the Ruines of the Habitation,
Of th' Antient Morall, and Interpretation:
So most Religious Men have nothing else
In all their Historys, but Miracles;
When No Believer would Indure the Falshood
Of what they write, but only for the Souls good;
And Nature do's far greater Miracles
Then all their Deviations from her else.

177

A Roman Magistrate was made Supreme,
Only to Knock a Naile into a Beame.

So that wise virtuoso Sydrophel,
Who in a Publique Tax is sayd t' appeale,
And show how much he had bee[n] over-reckond
To pay a Tenth for but a third, or second.

The Germans when a Boy do's grow
Fit for the wars: wil not allow
His manhood, til he's kickt i' th' Arse
And then he's listed for the wars.

So Russian Lambs (some write) are wont to travel,
Instead of Four-Lege's, only with a Navel:
That Rooted in the Earth, both Feeds, and Grows,
And eates the Grass on both sides as He goes.

Some Deaf men (they say) see words
If those that speake 'em have no beards;
Others can heare a violin
Holding between [their] teeth a Pin.
Like him that drew th' Invisible Mountain
Which all Philosophy do's Containe,
Or like the Painter that designd
A Noyse, or he that drew the winde.

178

CUSTOME

Custom is (like the moone's) Inconstant, vain,
And always shifting 'twixt the Ful and wane:
Was never known to weare one certaine face,
And twice apeare to be the same it was,
And therefore 'tis no Miracle, mens mindes
Are to themselves more various then the winds.
For as 'tis Natural for use and Custome
To Reconcile things ere s' averse and Loathsom
(As Ragusts of a Basilisque or Toad
By Custome have been Renderd wholsom food)
So use can make an obstinate Practician
Do Feats beyond an ordinary Magician;
As in Mechanique Practices the Hand
Can See, and Hear, and Judge, and understand,
And ev'ry finger in the Dark, finde out
The Subtlest Mathematique Poynt by Rote,
As Blinde men when they Play upon an Harp
Unsight unseen, can hit a Flat or Sharp;
And when that Fatal Desperate Impostume
Contagious, and Pestilential Custome
Is but Possest of any vital Part,
The Remedy is Past the Cure of Art.

To prove by Syllogism's but to spel
A Proposition like a Syllable.

179

OPINION

Who dos not know with what fierce Rage
Opinions Tru, or False ingage?
And, 'cause they Govern all Mankind,
Like the Blindes Leading of the Blinde,
All Claime an equal Interest
Of free Dominion, ore the Rest.
And as one Shield, that fell from Heaven,
Was Counterfeited by Eleaven,
The Better to Secure the Fate
And lasting Empyre of a State;
The False are Numerous, and the tru,
(That only have the Right) but Few.
Hence Fooles, that understand them least
Are Still the Fiercest in Contest;
Unsight, unseen, espouse a Side,
At Random, like a Princes Bride,
To Damn their Soules, and Sweare and ly for
And, at a venture, Live and Dy for.

The Great Des Cartes with long thought and Study
Had Run himself, out of his Soul, and Body:
Had Forfeted the world, and what's in't,
Till he Recoverd al, and more, b' a Hint.
For since he could not think, He did not think,
Found out, his Soul, and He were things Distinct;
When Really 'twas not his Soul, and Hee,
That differd, but his Supposd No Body.

Opiniasters Naturally Differ
From other men, as woodd[en] legs are Stiffer
Then those of Plyant Joynts, to yeld and Bow
Which way so ever th' are Designd to Go.
That make Belief and Knowledge the same Case
Because on tick both equally wil Pass
And since th' are chargd on equal Principles
Believe they are the same in al things else.

180

Opinion governs all Mankind,
Like the Blind's leading of the Blind;
For he, that has no Eyes in 's Head,
Must be b' a Dog glad to be led;
And no Beasts have so little in 'em
As that inhuman Brute, Opinion.
'Tis an infectious Pestilence,
The Tokens upon Wit and Sense,
That with a venemous Contagion
Invades the sick Imagination;
And, when it seizes any Part,
It strikes the Poyson to the Heart.
This Men of one another catch
By contact, as the Humours match;
And nothing's so perverse in Nature,
As a profound Opiniaster.

And as the Chast Penelope
Unraveld all sh' had don by day
When Night arrivd; so do's shee too,
And all sh' had don before, undo.

181

NONSENSE

What Art have Jewellers t' Improve a Stone
Unles with Dust and Powder of its own?

For things Abhominable in Conversation,
Will Pass in Bookes, for Modish, and in Fashion:
As German Authors first found out the Trick
T' Articulate their New Nicknames in Greek,
And Mercers use to give a Rotten Stuffe
A New hard Name, to go the easier off.
That servs our modern Authors here to face
The Titles of their workes, like Copperlace.

Though Art, and Nature's no more Different,
Then Characters from things they Represent:
And when the one's exactly tru Designd
It is but copyd from the other kinde
To cheat Philosophers, who think th' are Matters
Of sevrall kindes, and Disagreeing Natures,
When Art has nothing Excellent, and Good,
But what the Laws of Nature have allowd:
Yet Learned men have sevral Scales, to weigh
All that they write, Distinct, from what they say,
As other Tradsmen, that in measures deale,
Have long to buy withall, and short to sell:
That b'ing compard together only Differ
The more Elaborate, is but the Stiffer:
Write things in Heats, which in the colder Bloud
Of Fancy are not to be understood.
The more they treat of things Methodically
Do but the [more] impertinently dally
And by Referring things that are most hard,
To Proper Heads, nere mind them afterward.
Believe that no man can be in the wrong,
That is mistaken in a Learned Tongue.
The very Sound o' th' Language is enough
To keep all ordinary Censure off.

182

Th' Ignorant World without Distinction, lookes
On all, that Passe's on th' Accompt of Booke's;
And when there are two Scollers, that within
The Species only, hardly are of kin;
The world wil pas for men of equall knowledg,
If equally th' have Loyterd in a Colledge.

The Curiousest Judgment's apt to loose
The vigor of it's Sense, with too much use;
For Mules at once, wil Travel, Eate, and Sleep
Upon a Road, they have been usd to keep.

Was not our Cuntry-man, the Great Manage
The Noblest virtuoso of the Age?
Before Morinus, a Cadet-Physitian
Exchangd Professions, with a Mathematician,
Who spent a whole week to Convince his Brother,
But, in the End, Converted one another;
And, while the one Maintaind, what th' other doubted,
Both got the victory, yet both were Routed.

The Prince of Syracuse, whose Destind Fate
It was to Kepe a Schoole, and Rule a State,
Found that his Scepter, never was so Awd,
As when it was translated to a Rod;
And that his vassals nere were s' obedient,
As when he was Inaugurated Pedant:
Whence those that use to teach the Liberal Arts,
Are Princes al and Tyrants in their Hearts.
And look as wise as if like Prester John
Th' had been begotten al by Solomon:
For to Instruct is greater then to Rule
And no Command's Imperious as a School.

For no Infatuations are so Bad
As theirs, who to Improve themselves, Run Mad.
As if to teach, were nothing but to Part
With something of their Native Sense, and Art;
Or put their Ingenuity to sale
To those th' Instruct, by outcry, or Retayle.

For the best Characters of Ignorance
Are vanity, and Pride, and Arrogance;

183

As Blind men use to bear their Noses higher
Then those that have their Eiesight most Intire.

As Campanella usd to screw and wrest
His face like Theirs, to whom he then Addrest,
And allways found he had the best Success,
When best he did it, most of all to Please:
So Famous writers think their very Looks
Will ad a great Advantage to their Books;
And therefore, when they put their works in Print,
Their Pictures are the first things handled in't.

[Cardan] that Admird Italian Doctor wrot
His Parents Frenzies, when he was begot;
Told how his Sire lookd one way, and his Mother
In th' Act, when they committed him, another,
For feare of b'ing surprizd, and taken, in
So Infamous a Place, and Lewd a Sin.
That in the Eies of th' Embrio, did Imprint
The Native Signature he had, to Squint:
And how their Hugs, and Locks, had Sprain'd his Toos
They never could be fit, for any Shoos
All which Past well; because such kinde of Freakes
Had been Committed once by th' Antique Greeks;
And since, some Later writers of Romances
Have Matchd it with their Plagiary Fancies,
Whose Great Examples have been thought enough
To Justify Extravaganter Stuff.

The Antients thought, that Men and Goats drew th' Aire
To set their Longs on work, at either Eare;
But whether that were but a Flam or Tru
The Devil any of them ever knew!

184

TRUTH

Things Determind by most voyces
Are not the Greatest Truths, but Noyses.

All wise men should be just as kinde
To Truth, as Truth to them they finde.

For Peace, and Truth are found t' unite
As Nat'rally, as to Ly and Fight;
And Therefor when they Battle wage
The Ly's the Signal to engage.

To fight for Truth, is but the Sole Dominion
Of ev'ry Idiot's Humor or Opinion,
And what it fancy's Truth, maintaine's
By ventring t' Hardest Blows, his Braine[s];
And he, whose Noddle is most tough,
Demonstrate's with the Clearest Proof.

For Naked Truth like naked women
Is Impudent, Deboshd, and Common,
A more Prodigious thing appeare
Then Truth would to a Princes eare.
For Truth and Kings have fierce Contests
About their Pow'r, and Interests;
And therefore by their Ministers
Are never sufferd to Converse
But Parted, as the Persian King
And Queen were, for the Selfsame thing
And by their servants at a Fitting,
Convenient Distance, kept from meeting.

Truth can be no older then
The first original of men
But Lying is much Antienter
Ever since the Fall of Lucifer
Who, b'ing the Patriarch of Lys,
Then Raisd those older Family[s].

185

For Truth is no Original, but Lines
Drawn Perfectly from Natures own Designes;
And t' understand Truth is not to be wise,
But to unriddle all intrigue of Lies.

And some have doubted whether Knights of the Post
Or Natural Historians Lie most,
Have no Regard to Truth in All they write,
But file their Forgerys the more Polite.

The End of Learning's only to Persue
The ways of Truth within and out of view,
To Copy out th' Originals of Nature
As Far as Human wit can Imitate her,
And draw a Scheam exactly in the minde
T' agree with that shee in the world Designd.

For Truth do's stand in Need of no Excuse;
Or if it did, 'Twould serve it to no use;
That never Suffers on its own Account,
But some things else that has been Layd upon't.

Nothing a Tryal undergoes
Without some Injury, and Loss,
And cannot be prov'd true without
The charge and trouble of the Doubt.

The World's occasions cannot be supplyd
With too much Truth and Reason on it's side;
Is fain to take in Falshood, Fraud, and Error,
To sell its own Commodities the dearer.
For Truth, that is supreme and absolute,
Must not be brought to question and dispute;
But, like the sovran pow'r of Principles
In Arts, and Sciences, try all things else,
And not to any other Pow'r alive
Submit its Int'rest, and Prerogative;
Nor suffer any other Law to try
The dictates of its high Authority.

186

PHYSIQUE

No Nation has such Physical Liefhebbers
As th' English swarme withal, among their Neighbors,
Where evryones Delight, as wel as Study,
Is to store-up all medecines, for Mans Body.
That serves them for their Natural Diversions,
And Entertainment, of al other Persons.
And this by People of all Trades, and Ranks,
As if th' had beene Design'd for Mountebanks.
For as the Antient Empriques, usd to lay
Their Patients in the Publiquest High-way,
T' have evry mans opinion, that past by,
About the Sick mans Cure, and malady,
The selfsame Course, our modern Patient[s] take,
And all they meet with, their Physicians make.
For all Pretender[s] of the virtuosos,
Turn Doctors when the[y] do but talk of Doses.
A Cook, an Host, an Herb-woman; or Nurse
Are all Licentiats in the Art, of Course,
A Barber for a Surgeon is Allowd
But turns all-Doctor, when [he] lets men Bloud,
And He, that has the least acquaintance Tampers
With Sickmen, in their very Beds, or Chambers,
Where those that are but talkative enough,
Præscribe a Medcine when they hear him cough.
No Parson did his office for the sick,
But gave it over and turnd Emperique.
So he that had been cured by Flys, that Got
By Chance, into the medcine, and the Pot,
But when the Dose was spent: He sent for more
With those black Creatures in't, he tooke before.

For universal Medcines are a Trick
That Nature never Meant, to Cure the Sick,
Unless by Death the Singular Receipt
To Root out all Diseases by the Great,
For universals deal in no one Part
Of Nature, Nor Particulars of Art,

187

And therefore That French Quack that Set up Physique,
Cald his Receipt a General Specifique:
For tho In mortal Poysons, evry one,
Is Mortal universally alone:
Yet Nature never made an Antidot,
To Cure them all, as Easy as th' are Got;
Much less, among so many variations,
Of Diffrent Maladys, and Complications:
Make all the Contrarieties of Nature,
Submit themselves t' an Equall Moderator.

A Farrier is a Doctor, nere the worse,
For Shooing, and for Curing of a Horse:
That dos not only fit him, with his shoos
But when Hee's sicke, Administer a Dose.

For nothing but their own Indispositions,
Are Dangerous, and Fatall to Physitians.

For all the Good they can pretend to do
Are but for ostentation meant, and show.

The Frequentst Leprosys, and b'ing Possest
With Inmate Devils, at the same time ceast.

For to examine Pulses, or cast water,
Are but to pump Diseases hid by Nature.

For Sickmen are no Patients held until
They take the Medcine, as the Greater Ill.

Like those that catch Diseases, with Conceipt,
And Cure them, with a charme, or Amulet.

For Empriques torture worse then Hangmen,
To Rescue members from the Gangreen:
And operators slash, and Mangle,
To cure Inflamd Sores, when they Rancle.
Whose Remedys are little lesse
Then th' Insupportablest Disease,
Recover wounds with greater Cuts,
And Cure with Bullets, twisted Guts.

188

Like him, who Nicely eate his Meals,
And Nonchons in a Pair of Scales.
And did not only Drink, and Eate,
But Pist, and went to stoole, by weight.

A Dog, that Grazes when hee's sick:
Is th' only Natrall Emperique.

Is't not the Greatest Art of State,
To make those wh' are so obstinate,
And mad upon their own undoing,
That nothing can Preserve from Ruine:
But by Diverting of these Freaks,
To save them, that would break their Necks?
And bring them back into their Senses,
With faire, and Plausible Pretences?
Whom all the Plainest Truth, and Reason,
Had nere been strong enough to ceaze on?
For nothing else in Nature's able,
To Rescue from it self, the Rabble,
With whom, there's Nothing Tru, or wise
Will ever Pass, but in Disguise,
And when th' are Mad, and Peremptory,
Prescribe a whimsy, or a Story:
And with mere Rallery, Impose
Health, better then the luckyst Dose:
And, with it self, Recover a Disease,
More Natral then sovrainst Recipes.

So Cardan cur'd himself of making mone
Perpetual for the Hanging of his Son,
And put an End, to all his whinneling,
By Pissing only through a wedding-Ring.

For nothing is more trite, and ordinary,
Then shifting Medcines, by th' Apothecary
That wants a Simple, in a Doctor's Bill,
And put's in those, for any other Ill.

For when the Doctor doubts of the Disease
His best opinion's Cross, or Pile, to guess.

189

Whence men are brought to Desprater Dist[r]esses,
By catching Physique rather then Diseases:
Whence 'tis observd they frequently Recover
As soon as Doctors do but give them over.
For when the sickly Body, and the Soul
Do chance to fall on one another, Foul:
Their Busnes is to talke Secundum Artem
And, to Compound the Controversy, Part 'em.

For 'tis not what th' have don, but what th' have earnd
That makes the best Physitians, and most Learnd.

And when there are but one, at most in Ten
That Nature takes for Tithes, of all Sick men,
Unles it be in Epidemique Aches
When Nature makes the violentst Dispatches
The Rest miscarry, for the greatest Part,
By usinge too much, or too little Art.
And by their own Neglects, or vain Excess
Destroy themselves, instead of the Disease.

The French hold Guicciardine, the best Historian,
For treating civilly their Native Murrian:
And Placing most impartially, The Staples
Of that great Factory, at first, at Naples.

For Nature when she's bent to do her Part,
Acts more Effectuall, then the Greatest Art.
That but Diverts the Course, she meant to take,
And sets her Few, but better Medcines back:
For who can tell what Nature would have don
If sh' had been cald in to her self alone?

A Doctor's sick of evry mans Disease
And cure's himself first, with his Recipes
And when he cuts and Slashes, and Dissects
'Tis only to finde out his own Defects.

190

NATURE

Leake's like a Tub and not a Boat:
For th' one Runs in, and th' other out.

The Sphere of Vapours rule's the Aire,
And makes the weather foul, or fayre.

The Moon do's never dare t' appeare
In Heaven while the Sun is Neare,
But still the further of[f] he goes
The more her borrowd Splendor shows,
And when shee's gotten opposite
Set's up with all her borrowd light.

Fishes with Scales are tyl'd about
Like Houses to keep water out.

An Army and a Populous Town
Infected with the Plague's all one.

Men's cornes are wont, before a Shour of Raine,
But never when th' are in't, to be in Paine.

So woodcocks that are Cullord like Dead Leaves
The Crafty Fowler easily deceives.

So in the western Sea of Spain, The Sun
Is like a Taper, put out and go's down.
That in a moment shines, and then go's out,
As th' Antients in his Sea-Bed-Chamber thought.

A single Feather breaks a Horses back
And Drops of water greatest vessels wrack.

Sleep that wearyd Life Redeemes
Is fed with vaine and Idle Dreames.

The most Divine of all the works of Nature
Was not to make Model, but the Matter;
As men may Build without Designs and Rules
But [not] without Materials, and Tooles.

A Salmon is both Bow and Arrows
That is both Shot himself and carrys.

191

The Lady (like a Fishes Row) had Roome
For such a Shole of Infants in her wombe.

Nature Denys Brute Animals expression
Because they are Incapable of Reason.

Punaises have as great a Brood
I' th' Natives heads as in their wood,
And multiply no where in France
So numerous as the Peoples Braines.

Pretious Stones not only do Foretel
The Dire Effects of Poyson but Expel.

When no one Person's able t' understand
The vast stupendious uses of the Hand,
The only Engin helpes the wit of Man
To bring the world in Compass of a Span,
From Raysing mighty Fabriques on the Seas
To filing Chaines to fit the Necks of Fleas.

The Left Hand is but Deputy to th' Right
That For a Jorney man is wont t' imploy't.

The moon herself do's never steal the Light
She Pilfers from the Sun, but in the Night.

For tho the Moone's Commandres of the Seas
And all her various, Diffrent Nations sways,
She never yet, has, at the ful, been sayd
To make her Natral Subjects, Fishes mad,
Like those that, out of her Supreme Command,
Are Born, and Bred, and live upon the Land.

Weeds grow of themselvs as Natrally
As noble Plants degenerate and Dy.

All Beasts, and Foules forsake their yong,
They had been so tender of so long:
As soon, as once they have no Need
Of further Help, to shift, and Feed.

In all the yeare, The Day and Night
Have less of Darknes, then of Light

192

In twilights, and the Dawnes of Suns
Besides six months of Shining Moons.
The light below, and upper-Darknes dy
The Naturall Blew Tincture of the Sky
For all the Heat, and light we finde appeare,
Extends no further then the Atmosphere:
The Rest all Darknes, only where the Moon,
And other Planets, entertaine the Sun;
That Hold no more Proportion to the whole,
Then Glo-worms Tayles, or Sparcles of a Cole.

Some guess the Earth is but a shell
And all the Inner Concave Hell
Th' Infernall Dungeons, and Dark holes
Of Reprobate Departed Soules,
Which Poets call the Stygian Lake
From whence no Traveller Comes back.

Water's the Clepsydra, to Cast
How many yeares the world wil last.

As an Arrow in the Sky
Do's, like the Bow that shot it, fly,
And make an Arch, so al things else
Conform, stil to their Principles.

Al Phænomenas
May be expounded several ways.

Nature permit's the mungrel Breed
Of Mules, No further to proceed,
For there's but one in evry Race,
Begotten between Horse and Ass:
Which makes the sons of zealous Saints,
To prove the greatest Miscreants.
And great Philosophers to think
Al fooles begot in Love, or Drink.

The Sunne-beames
When they are empty will descend
But when th' are Loaded upwards tend.

193

Vermine were th' Originals of Cheats,
As Spiders first taught men the use of Nets,
And Lobsters first taught Armorers their Trade
And how the Joynts of Cuiraces are made.

A Madman's stronger in his Fits,
But Drunkard less then in his wits,
So much do Natral Parts Disdaine
To vaile t' an Artificiall Braine.

'Tis sayd of vipers when they Breed
The Femal bite's of[f] the Males head,
Which th' yong-ones back in Kinde Repay
And through her Bowels eate their way.

Prop that cannot stand alone
Grow's firm by being leand upon.

No Water of it self do's Run
Untill 'tis melted by the Sun.

The Moon, by striving to out run
And get the better of the Sun,
Is lost herself, and all her Light
Ecclips'd and vanish'd out of Sight.

That silly Meteor
Som call the Falling of a Star,
That, 'till it fals, is never seen,
Shines, and is out, as soon as in.

Without the Tale of Numbers, Birds are wont
To keep of Time, an exquisite Account
Can cast up all their Recconings, How long
They are to sit, before they hatch their yong.
And all that while, can tell at what a Clock
The Hen's expected to Relieve the Cock.
To Recreate his wearynes, and when
He is to do the same thing for the Hen.
As Time is Accuratly told by Clocks
That know not how to Reckon their own Strokes.

Female Asses are more tall
And sturdy then the silly Male.

194

Nature
Do's all her work by Fire and water,
The two Divine Antagonists
By whose Contests the world subsists.

The Western Coasts of Wales, and Spaine
Exposd to th' Indian Ocean;
Have Mountaines, like Redouts, designd
To breake the Fury of the winde,
And turning of them, sevral ways,
Divert the Storms, those vast Seas Raise.

The Sun Appear's more glorious and Great
The nearer he Approaches to his Set.

As vaine as Dead men, when they have been drownd,
Swim Nat'rally, when 'tis too late, on Grownd.

The most Pacifique Seas with greatest Rage
Encounter when in Narrow streits, th' Engage.

Those Pigs the Devil did Posses
Mistook themselves, for Porc-pisces
And Ran into the Sea to finde,
And mix with others of their kinde.

Navigation, that withstood
The Mortal Fury of the Floud
And Prov'd the only Meanes to save
All Earthly Creatures, from the wave,
Ha's for it Taught the sea, and winde,
To lay a Tribute on Mankind:
That, by Degrees, has Swallowd more
Then all it Drownd, at once before.

The wounded whale dos Run on Shore
The Salt sea vexes him so Sore,
And Rather Runs himself on Ground
Then to endure the Torment of his wound.

No other members have those Graces
As Eies, and—to be kept in Cases;
And since, no others can import
Mankind so much are kept like Jewels for't.

195

A Stone that is but cast into a Pond
Without a Compas, make's a Circle Round.

Some Sorts of Fishes, only with the Tongue,
(As virtuoso's say) Beget their yongue.

As if the Greatest Mastery of Art
Were only against Nature to take Part,
Believe all knowledg of the Growth of Nature
To be like the Rough unpolishd Matter
And Art the Form, that bring's into being
Though Spoild with Ignorance, and over-seing.
As that Great Critique of the Trade took motion
To be a Natural thing and not a Notion.

A Horses Teeth are Ephemerides
And calculate their own Nativities.

An Ignis Fatuus against its Nature
Instead of Burning 's wont to Duck in water.

One Fish is but another Fishes vittle
By Nature and the Sea, layd up in Pickle.

The Hebrews, Spanyards and the Antique Welch
Do not Pronounce their Languages, but Belch;
And from the very Bottoms of their Throats
Fetch up their Close and Intimatest Thoughts.

All Arts and Arms of Excellence and worth
Are now the Native Products of the North,
Though their Originals were of the Growth
And Manufacture only of the South,
Which made the Ægyptians beare away the Glory
Of all Inventions (Right or wrong) in Story,
And al the learnedst Antiquarys writ
The South's the worlds left Hand the North's the Right.

Art is in vain unles it takes its Lesson
From Nature or her Secretary Reason.

For Nature gave an Ass the longer Eare
The Charming Accents of his Brays to hear.

Our Food is but a Medcin that Revive's
The Natural Consumption of our Lives.

196

Nature has placd so glorious a Shew
Of other worlds and Suns within our view
That only tempt us with Desire to know
Without the Possibility of how;
And, since th' are Placd beyond our own concern,
Allows us no Capacity to Learn.

For Stars of the first Ma[g]nitude appeare
The least of all to those that view 'em here.

The Sun and water at so vast
Immeasurable a distance plac't
Are both espous'd to one another,
He nature's father, she her mother;
And by the mixtures of their seeds
Fill sea and land with various breeds.

Guns do not Hurt, by making of a noyse;
It is the Silent Bullet that destr[o]y's.

As some Affirme A Bever, and his Taile,
Is each a Diffrent Sort of Animall;
And tho they seem by Nature of one Piece,
The one is Perfect flesh, the other Fish:
And therefore in his House, The Beast do's ly
Above the waters Top, one Story high,
Altho his Tayle would mortify, and Gangreen
Without a Constant watry Cell to hang in.

Hair is the Native excrement of seed
That on the Cranion is observd to Breed,
And the[re]fore, when the Sperm do's first Decay,
The Hair fals of[f] or else turns grey:
Whence 'tis untimely Discontents and Cares
Bring men as Naturally to Grey haires.

The Motions of the Earth or Sun,
(The Lord know's which) that Turn, or Run,
Are both performd by fits, and Starts;
And so are those of Lovers Hearts:
Which though they keep no eaven Pace;
Move Tru, and Constant to one Place.

197

As both the Longitude, and Latitude,
Are only by each other, understood;
And nothing else, but either Parallel
What th' other mean's can Naturally tell.
The under-Earth Degrees of Heaven show,
And only Heavn, those of Earth below.
But which move's Round; or which stands always stil,
The Learned make a Doubt, and ever will;
As much as whether Zealots use to move,
From th' Earth with us below, or Heavn, above.

So learned men, from Substance without Matter
Conclude the Greatest Myracles in Nature,
Demonstrate Artificially mere Fancies,
And Prove Eaternity b' as Hard Nunc-stances.

For if the water constantly grow lesse
And th' Earth is found as Naturally t' Increase
As virtuosos Naturally believe,
By Lands the Sea has beene observd to leave.
Besides th' Abundant Quantity, she uses
In all mixt compositions, she Produces,
Which 'tis unreasonable, and in vaine,
T' expect should ever be Returnd againe,
With other Instances as Evident,
The stock of water, wil in th' end be spent,
The ocean-seas perpetually wast
Until they are utterly Dryd up at last;
And if the Sun do's but draw neare to us
As great Philosophers believe He do's,
The Date of this worlds Charter will Expire
And all its Moveables Consume in Fire.

198

CHYMISTRY

A Sottish Chymist in Dispight of Nature
Think's to make Gold by Penetrating Matter:
And, like a Spirit, Transubstantiate
Brass-Pots, and Kettles, into Silver Plate
Of which the greater Dose must be allowd,
To keep th' Alloy from being understood:
And therefore Ignorantly take Occasion,
To pass it for as vaine Multiplication.
In which th' Appeare as Idle and Absurd
In Sottishly Mischanging of a word.
For he that has but puzzl'd his Criss-cross-over
Is learnd enough to make a Stone-Philosopher
Who, when they undertake to Teach the Stone,
Make Solemne vows t' impart the Truth to None;
Which 'tis no Miracle but they may do,
And yet sweare only what's exactly tru.
The Ablest of their Spagirists are made,
Of Hot-braind Bank-rupts, of some other Trade.
For if but one, had got th' Hermetique Stone,
All others had for ever been undon.
The Meanest had Disdaind t' have Bought, or sold,
But turnd their Tin, and Lead, and Irn to Gold.
While all Professions else, had only serv'd
For want of Necessarys, to be stervd.
The Prices of all things had grown so Great
That None but Chymists could afford to Eate.
And when there were no other Men to Rob
Had beene Reducd to th' Indigence of Job;
And no men Held more wretchedly undon,
Then those who Newly had found the Stone:
Beside, if Fire cannot Distroy (as th' hold),
By consequence it never can make Gold,
For Art and Nature nere found out a way
To make that, which it self Cannot Destroy.

199

MAGIQUE

The Devill was more Generous then Adam,
That never Layd the Fault upon his Madam:
But like a Gallant, and Heroique Elfe,
Tooke freely all the Crime upon himself.

For Men are never certaine of strange sights,
Their Senses are so Distressed with Frights:
Especiall[y] of Specters, that forbeare,
Unless it bee in Darkest Nights, t' appeare.

For Magique is a False Spirituall slur,
And therefore subtler then the Secular:
Is more Mysterious, as it is Infernall,
And hard to [be] Disciferd then the Carnall:
Whose Intricate Designes, are better Layd,
Then those that use to be above boord playd.

For Ages, when they are Inhumane Grown,
Make worke, for Idle Sorcerers, to own:
When all extravagant, and Lewd Capricches,
Are Chargd upon the false Accompt of witches.
As if th' Indentures between Hags and Fiends
Were more Familiar then the Name Pretend's.
When some have Hangd for swimming on their Backs
And Sticking Pins, in Images of Wax.

For Men are counted Atheists that Deny,
Or doubt the Devils Infallibility:
When Cats for Nine Lives have procurd a Lease,
To serve him Co[n]stantly with Pigs and Geese.
And witches both their Soules, and Bodys give
To Please themselvs with mischief while they live;
When nothing can fall out, tho ere so Common,
But is Reducd to Prodigy, or Omen.

[A Witch]
Is Able to outly a Proselyte,
That has been New-absolvd b' a Jesuite:

200

And by Confession's orderd to Deny all
He had acknowledg'd, when he comes to Tryall.
Untill the Poore Deluded Creature Dy's,
A Martyr, to the Patriarke of Lys.

The Devil first Debaucht a modest Man
To bee a Courtier quite against the Graine.
And in Defyance of his Fatall Stars
Trepand a Timorous Coward to the wars.
For when the Devill ow's some Men a Shame,
He put's-by all the Passes, that they Aime.
And with his Cloven Diabolique Foot
Kicks all the mischief down, they go about.

There Need's no other Charme, nor Conjurer,
To Rayse Infernall Spirits-up, but Feare:
That makes Men Pul their Hornes in, like a Snayle
That's both a Prisner to it selfe, and Jayle.
Draws more Phantastique Shapes, then in the Graines,
Of knotted wood; in some Men's Crazy Braines:
When all the cocks they think they see, and Bulls,
Are only in the Insides of their Sculs.

So in the stable ty'd-up Nags
Are Ridden Post, by mounted hags.

The Prophesies of Dreams Prognosticate
Mens Constitutions rather then their Fate.

201

GEOMANCY

Geomancy
Is nothing but a Trick to fancy,
That setting down a few smal Pricks
More Short then other Magique tricks,
Like throwing Dice upon the Square,
P[r]edict at Random unaware,
By which no Doubt can be so Hard,
But in a moment may be cleard.

202

ASTROLOGY

The Antients held no Omen was so Dire,
As to Spill water, when they ta[l]kd of Fire.
And that the certainst Skemes they had of thieves
Portended those that usd to weare Long sleevs:
Believd the Stars knew less of our Affairs,
And are as unconcernd as we in theirs:
Who have no way to know, Believe, or guesse
At what they should bee by Appearances.

Whether the Fixt Stars are but Holes, to pass
Th' Empyrium through, in Bright Effluvia's
Or Suns to other worlds; It is No matter
To all our own Discoverys in Nature.

For he that only look's among the Stars
To finde the Dark Events, of Peace or wars,
And not among th' Affairs of Active men,
Do's ten times, more Ridiculously then
Hee that tooke Pills for finding-out his Ass
Altho by Accident, it came to Pass.

For those are frequentst by the Stars Detected,
Whom most of all the wizard findes suspected:
Is sure to be his own significator
Whose Influence they most of all Look after.

Astrology, and Magique, Charms, and Spels
Are all that's Left, o' th' Devils Oracles:
Have acted greater Diabolique Sorcerys,
Then all the Litters of his Lapland-Nurserys.

Fooles are Familiars to themselvs,
That serve the Cunning men for elvs:
And make them only pimp, and set,
And owne the Tricks, they Counterfet.
That Hire, and Promp them to Detect,
The Parties, whom they most suspect:
And tell them first what Kinde of Men
That they may tell it them agen.

203

The Factorys of Folly, and Imposture,
That with the weak, and Ignorant pas Muster:
Astrology, and all those Monstrous Fictions,
To cheat the world with Counterfet Prædictions:
That serve for nothing, if they should be tru,
But to take up misfortune, ere 'tis Due.
For Comets, and Ecclipses stil foreboad
Distruction to Mankind, but never Good:
With Chieromancy, Horoscopy, and Caball,
The Drums, and Rattles, of the Sottish Rabble
With all the vaine, Impertinent Delusion[s]
Of Frantique and Fanatique Rosi-crucians
All meant for Scarcrows false, and Counterfet,
To fright the world out of its little wit:
For all their stiff Formalitys of Arts,
Are no more Revrend, then the Beards of warts.

For did not once Astrologers perswade
Th' Inhuman Emprour Nero, to evade
The Dire Distruction, which a Star did seem,
To aime and Level Purposely at him:
To frustrat all the Black Designs of Fate,
And turn their sad Effects upon the State?

So some that passe for Deepe Astrologers
Have made great Princes Presents of New-stars,
As Virtuosos sillyly have don
And giv'n away whole Ilands in the Moon:
Although not fortifyd so Regular,
With Natrall Strength, as Castles in the Air.

Nor should their Art, or Science Mathematique
Escape the Test, which th' Antients took of Magique,
That undertake's the Universe to Fathom
From Infinite down to a single Atom.
And venturs to unriddle evry Cause
That Nature uses, by their own By-laws.
When all that's truly useful in the Art
Is no more then the mere Mechanique Part
And if they strive to aime beyond; Their Rules
Will not fit Nature and their Gresham-Schooles.

204

For though the Earth be Round, yet evry Span
O' th' Superficies Rests upon a Plane,
Or else Th' Antipodes could never meet
On Equal Tearms, but with their Feet to Feet:
And neither Drake, nor Candish, nor Columbus,
Had 'ere been able al the Globe to Compas,
But evry Pacquet-Boate, or Petty Trader,
Had Sunke in th' Aire, and Founderd to Nadyr.
So those that made a Planet of the Sun,
Were Ignorant of what themselvs had don:
When there's so vast a Difference, Betwixt
The Rest and him, The world believ's He's Fixt.
And all their Notions of a Planet were
To be the Thickest Part of all it's Sphere:
Can take the Height of Stars, yet do not know
Whether they are Above 'em, or Below
Or how so many worlds upon their Centers
(With all their weight) should [be] hangd up on tenters:
Believd the Spheres, were but a Nest of Boxes
Only designd for Holding Paradoxes:
Whence that of Fire, has been so long Retrencht
Of all they had Contrivd it for, and Quencht.
Have beat their Braines, about a Freak, and worme,
To Square the Circle, they could nere Perform.
Things so absurd, Ridiculous, and wild,
That now they wil not Pass upon a Child.

The Hebrew-Kalendar did never Cast
The years Accompt up, till 'twas gone, and Past;
Which shew's they gave no Credit to the stars
Or those, that Prompted them, Astrologers.

205

LOVE

All Lovers in their Amrous fits
Turn Poets and set up for wits,
Make all their Mistresses of Stars,
And, when their Ladys prove averse,
Confound and damne the stars for doing
Il offices to Cross their woing.
For Lover's by their Lady's kindred,
The Stars, are often Crost, and hindred.

Love is a Boy, and when it's youth
Is past, outlive's it self and truth.

The Devill has him fast enough
Whose stones are in his Cloven hoof.

Love that's the work, and Recreation
And Charter of the first Creation
From whom all Soul's of things derive
The Free Inheritance of Life
That in a short time would expire
But that 'tis lengthned by Desire.
—For how Could Nature live
But that Love give's it a Reprive,
That has no more then one life in't
If Love did not inlarge that Stint.

All Love at first, like Gen'rous wine,
Ferment's, and Frets, until 'tis fine:
But when 'tis setled on the Lee,
And from th' Impurer matter free:
Becomes the Richer stil the older,
And Proves the Pleasanter the Colder.

As He that steal's away a Heart
Has Right to all and evry Part.

What woeman ever durst Resist
A Diamond Locket at a wrist,
Or could Refuse, th' untowardst Lover
Imbroderd and Perfumd all over?

206

For though, the less Love Cost's of Pains
And Slavry 'tis the Clearer Gaines,
As wine (the Friend of Love) Provs Best
That Freely Runs, before 'tis Prest;
Some Lovers are Besotted most
Where most they finde their matters Crost,
As other Beasts are Sharper set
The lesse they are allowd to eat.

Victory in Armes or Love
Are Cozin-Germans one Remove.

Lov's but an Ague in the old,
Whose hot fit come[s] before the Cold.

Lovers, like wrestlers, when they do not lay
Their Hold below the Girdle, use Fair Play.

Love shoots at Random in the Darke,
Yet seldom fayles to hit his marke.

Can any Powr Pretend to aw
Love, Natures Fundamentall Law?
Or offer to give Laws t' a Lover,
They have no Jurisdiction over?
Shall He that with his Magique Bow
Strikes Hearts of Monarks through and through
Submit his own Great Laws of war,
To come t' a Trial at the Bar?
To turn Solicitor, and Prog
Suborn, Forsweare, and Pettifog?

Lovers, that are eternal Haters
Of all Impertinent Spectators,
And hee's less odious that discovers
A Statesman's Cabal, then a Lovers;
That do their Busnes best alone
And care not to be lookd upon
To fight their Duels hand to fist
And neede no Seconds to assist.
------ As those that shite
Abhor to do their Feats in sight.

207

Love like Honor's Priviledgd,
And cannot be by oaths obligd,
No more then what a witnes swear's,
Is valid in his own affaires;
And Love has nothing to pretend,
But its own Interest and end.

Some have been with a look that sour
Sharp-set upon a New amoure
To set an Edge on Fancy with
As Braying of an Ass do's teeth.

For what Fond Lover can hold out
Till things are fairly brought about?
Who shew's he do's not Greatly heed her
That can have Patience to consider.

[Woman]
A most incomparable Creature
For want (especially) of a Better.

None but Lovers are so absurd
To play their false Dice, above Board.

When a Surfet of Delight
Has Duld the Lovers Appetite,
He must have time, til New Desire
Restore againe his Amorous Fire.

Platonique Love
Is from Socratical, but one Remove.

Spanish Gallants with their Lances
At once wound Bulls and Ladys Fancies;
And He subdu's the Noblest Spouse,
That widdow's most Tariffa-Cows.

Why should not some love Age, and uglines,
As wel as stinking meats and rotten cheese?

Some time he thinkes there is no trick
[O]f Love s' endearing as a kick.
Indeed 't were not amiss to venture
Men ought to knock before they enter.

208

Love is to[o] great a Happines
For this world truly to possess;
Could it hold out inviolate
Against those Injurys of fate
Which all Felicitys below
By Cruel Laws are Sentencd to,
It would becom a Bliss too high
For Perishing Mortality,
Translate to earth the Joys above,
For nothing go's to heavn, but Love.

Love that's by Conversation gaind
Must by the same way be maintain'd;
Though Absence rayse the Appetite,
Like Fasting, it destroy's it quite,
When 'tis too long Continu'd.

What makes two Buls such mortal Foes
To fight to Death, but forty Cows?
What Quarrel has a Cock to Cock
But right to evry hen in th' Flock?

Can Love use so preposterous a Course
To take Possession of it's right by force?

When Love to Love returnd becomes unkinde
Desire is but the Feaver of the minde,
That in its hot fit long's to entertaine
That which injoyd do's but increase its Paine.

Love never feard what Horror might attend
In Consequence so it injoyd its end.

Passion do's never fall into Distress
But when Desire turnes Tenant to excess.

O 'tis a Happy and Heavnly Death
When a man Dy's above and a woman beneath.

Do not mine Affection sligh[t]
Cause my Locks with Age are white.

Your Brests have snow without and snow wit[hin]
While Flames of fire in your bright eies are see[n].

209

That Heart must be of Horn or tuffer
That would not yeald to see you suffer.

For though some one way, some another
Yet al are Martyrs to Loves mother.

Love is so far from b'ing derivd
From Likenesses, as 'tis believd,
That it may rather seem to bee
Th' effect of Contrariety:
For all Fair women Love black men,
And black men stil Love them agen;
Low men Love women that are tall,
And they them as Fantastical;
The Bewteous for the ugly burne,
And they an equal flame return.

Expecting Love stands at a Stay
But in th' injoyment post's away.

A woman's Like a Looking glas
That entertains the shape of any face.

If Love between a Man and woman
Be nothing but Desire of union,
No Man would hang himself to fly
That which he cannot have, and Dy.

Love and Fighting is the Sum
Of all Romances from Tom Thumb
To Arthur, Gundibert, and Hudibras,
And all those worthys that De Scudry has.

Doe not unjustly blame
My guiltles brest
For vent'ring to disclose a Flame
It had so long supprest.

In its own Ashes it designd
For ever to have layn
But that my sighs like blasts [of wind]
Make it break out again.

The lylly grows not, nor the Rose
Upon your Chekes, but in my Hose.

210

Love that has substance for its ground
Must be more lasting, firm and sound
Then that which has the slightest Basis
Of Airy Virtu, wit, and Graces.
Which is of such thin Subtlety
In Man it Creepes in at the eie;
But that which its extraction ownes
From Solid Gold and pretious Stones,
Must like its shining Parents, prove
As Solid and as glorious Love.

Not ten among a thousand weare
Their own Complexions nor their haire.

All Ladys what so ere that Dy
Are Fair and good in th' Elegie.

Tho Love, they say, all Natrall things subdues,
The Impotentst the Conqueror Reduce.

211

MARRIAGE

Adam, who was but accessary to 's Wife,
Was damn'd to dig and drudge for't all his life,
While Eve, subornd by the Devil to betray him,
Was sentenc'd but to love, and to obey him,
Which made her Penance, like her Crime, the worse,
Because oblig'd to do it as a Curse,
And he at liberty to love, or hate her,
Upon her good behaviour, or ill nature,
Who is not bound to do it, but at will,
Although she use him e're so well, or ill:
For there's no Slavery so desperate
As to b' impos'd upon to love, or hate.
Hence 'tis, they are no sooner made one Flesh,
And both compounded int' a civil mesh;
But Sexes next become the sole debate,
And which has greater right to this, or that;
Or whether 'tis Obedience, or Dominion
That Man can claim a title to, or Woman,
Untill the Issue has been fairly try'd,
And legally found oftest for the bride,
Who can reduce the most imperious Brave
To be her Drudge, and Utensil, and Slave:
To Husband takes the Idiot during life
And makes him but a Helper to his wife.

The Bodys of all Animals
Are Femals, and the Souls the Males,
That Being Joynd like Man and Wife
Maintaine the Intercourse of Life.

There's forty Femal witches sent to Jail
Condemned and Executed for one Male.

A marrid Man com's nearest to the Dead
And to be Burryd ['s] but to go to Bed.

A Virgin when she works upon a Bed
Do's like a Bird but Build a Nest, to Breed.

212

Birds go a wooing in the Spring and wed
And none but their own Lawful Spouses tread.

A widow do's but Raise up Horns to the dead,
As Antient Jews did Issue in their stead.

For evry widow is but a Reversion
That Brings a Joynter only of her Person.

Illegal Matrimony
Is but a Pagan Ceremony
That in the Team of wedlock yoakes
Illegally an As and Ox.

A whimsy, in which evry one
Believe's he ha's found out the Stone,
The only True Receipt to marry,
And all beside himself miscarry.

One wife did Solomon more Hurt,
Then all the Madams of his Court.

The Credit of the Marriag-bed
Has been so loosly Husbanded,
Men only Deal for Ready money,
And women Sep'rate Alimoney;
And Ladys Errant, for Debauching,
Have better Tearmes, and equal Caution:
And for their Jorney-worke, and Paines,
The Chare-woemen cleare greater Gaines.

If he be a Beast that marrys,
He's one that Rides, as wel as Carry[s];
As Centaures mount at once, and Beare,
And are both Steed, and Cavaliere.

A Bargain Clubd to by a Paire
Of Dealers at a Chinese Faire,
Where hee that want's a wife or money
May give or take in matrimony.

Virgins Marry just as Nuns;
The same thing, the same way Renounce;

213

Before th' have wit to understand
The Bold Attempt they take in hand;
Or having stayd, and lost their Tides,
Are out of Season grown for Brides.

And though one wife undid the Devil,
That do's not Prove al others evil.
One Mistress would have made Belpheger
In half the Time as great a Begger.

Some say that Lovers marry,
As Criminals take Sanctuary,
In Prison one another Clap,
Until they finde a way t' escape.

Agree and cleave to one another
Like John Baptista, and his Brother.

The Natural Difference
Of Temper, Humor, wit, and Sense,
And th' endles Cavils they Produce,
Make all their Quiet but a Truce.

Only with their Bodys worship,
For Souls are not Concernd in Courtship.

And yet some strive, as if the Curse
Were not enough, to make it worse.
When Ladys of the Fairst Deserts,
For Virtu, Bewty, wit, and Parts,
Will Squander al away at once
Upon as wonderful Pultrones,
And, though Disfigur'd with French Pock-holes
Th' had got by Playing at Hotcockles
Among so many, none knew who
The Lady was that gave the Blow,
Yet still th' Inhumaner they Prove
Become the Stupider in Love
Who all Inheritances owe
To th' Tenure of the Marriage-vow.

All Sorts of Vot'ries, that profes
To binde themselves Apprentices

214

To Heav'n, abjure with solemn vows
Not Cut, and Longtail, but a Spouse,
As th' worst of all Impediments
To hinder their Devout intents.

[Kings]
By Proxy bring the Love Intregue
To Consummation, with one Leg
As Jews Contracted with their Hams
And marry only with their Names,
Espouse a Picture for a Queen
And take their Chance unsight unseen.

To Love, and Honor, and obey
Things, that the Bride may sing, or Say,
And when th' are spoken by the Priest
Take 'em for th' Husband if she list.
Who when th' are virgins and but woo'd
Pass all for Gentle, soft, and Good
But with their wedding cloath[s] and Rings
Degenerat to other things.

The Banes of Matrimony
To Aloes turne all their Honey.

Man brought nothing of his Bliss
But woman, out of Paradise,
No Relique of his former Life
And blest Condition, but his wife
[And] as that life, and Innocence
Did never Part, before, nor since,
All that is left of both, live's now
Contracted in the marriage vow
That all his earthly loss supplys
With everlasting Paradise.
For he who rashly interlopes,
And ventures upon trading Sloops,
Besid the Danger of b'ing fird,
And blown up in the Pink he Hird,
Makes forfeture of all he beares,
And wracks the Title of his Heirs,

215

Of all their Right (but shame) defeats 'em,
And strives t' expose, before he gets 'em.

No virtu can disparage
A modish wit so much as marriage
That scorn it as a Paltry vanity
That has too little Inhumanit[y].

When unequal youth, and Age,
I' th' Banes of Matrimony 'ngage,
All other Matters run as Cross,
When Expectation's at a Losse,
When Feeble Impotent Fruition
Determines, in as Idle wishing.
And all the Sports of Love and Jumbling
Conclude in Miserable Tumbling;
In Driblets cannot pay th' Expence
Of Dunning Due Benevolence,
Until the Doteing Blown-up Lover
Makes all he Ha's to Feoffes over,
To pay th' Arrieres, with Use on Use,
And all from time to time accrew's.

When Love is still behind in Payment,
And turne's Platonique in th' Injoyment:
For Matrimony's a Quietus
To Love, though ever so Impetuous.

Yoaks are understood
But Characters of servitude.

In four hundred yeares, one Dozen
Of Jews produc'd six hundred thousand.

As the Romans drubd mens Bones
To th' Cadences and Moods of Tunes,
And Rack'd a Guilty Criminal
With Fiddle strings through al the Skale,
To shew, that Justice in their state
Was don in Measure, Time, and weight;
Our Ladies, with Inchanting Cords,
They set to more bewitching words,

216

Performe the same, and with the Charm
Their Hearts as wel as eares Disarm—
Those Passionate Croamatique Clamors
Melodious as the Ratling Hammers
By which Philosophers found out
The Alpha-bet, of evry Note
And from the Braying Tones of Asses
Invented Trebles first, and Bases.
Whence Lovers use, in all their Songs,
To treat of nothing but their wrongs,
Delight in Streames, that, as they Glide,
In Purling murmurs vex and Chide.

[Ladies]
Whose Soules weare nothing of their own
But what is Borrowd and put on;
That, like their watches, weare their faces
In delicate Inammeld Cases,
And all their Sense and wit as Tawdry
Except their Native Talent: Bawdry.

Mean while, more By-blows are begot
In Matrimony then without.

Nor can Diseases, though begot
By one, or Both, unty the knot:
For Health and Sicknes b'ing al one
Which both ingagd before, to own;
And are not with their Bodys bound,
To worship only when th' are sound:
The worst that fals can be no more
Then was provided for before.
And when both sides have shard the Hurt,
Who ever did it suffer's for't.

The Giving of the Brid 's as fatall
As Giving Sentence, wounds, or Battle.

'Tis Desperat t' espouse a Fool
And not be able to controll.

For in the Factory of wives,
An Hundred break, for one that thrive's.

217

Andromeda was chain'd t' a Rock
On worse Tearms in the Marriage-yoake
Then but to be Devour'd by a whale,
More Gentle then the Rugged Male.

He was a Man that only Marryd
With Palisados t' arme his Forehead.
For nothing but his easy Head
Was of his Issu, brought to Bed,
As once the Thundrers Pia Mater
Is sayd t' have brought him forth a Daughter.

Sick of a fatal Pleurisy, a Bride,
The desprat'st inflammation of the side.

When Continence and Chastity in Rome
Was such a monstrous Prodigy become,
Suspected Vestals nothing could relieve
Less strange than carry'ing water in a Sieve;
Or, with their Girdles from their Wastes unbound,
Two mighty Ships that had been run on ground,
Which all the Force of Rome in vain before
Had strove to disengage and drag a shore.

So necessary then were all th' Acquests
Of Matrimony to their Interests.
For Fortune had no other way so soon
To set Men either up, or pull them down:
Which all the noblest Romans then were fain
T' assert with marks of Honour, and maintain;
When greatest Magistrates enjoy'd their Peerage
According to their elder dates of Marriage,
And married Men of all the rest took place,
Who had no Wives to shew for't, in the case;
And therefore those that us'd t' adopt their Heirs,
And for their Fathers turn'd their Fatherers,
Ne're ask'd the real Parents, if th' were got
Exactly in the legal Form, or not;
Were bound to nothing else, but that the years
Both of the new made Parents, and their Heirs
Might prove s' agreeable, they might be hop'd
To have begot, as well as to adopt.

218

The Dutch (of course) lay Matrimony by
Like th' extreme Unction, till they come to dye;
And, if they wed within the nick of life,
The Issue's lawful, and the Bride the Wife.
The antient Jews were bound to do the deed,
To raise their nearest Cousin-Germans seed,
Who us'd to father, after they were dead,
And own the Children gotten in their stead.

Birds hatch the Eggs they use to sit upon,
No matter whether th' are, or not, their own;
And make their Cocks themselves to sit, and brood
Upon the young ones, which they never trod.
Whence 'tis, that far more Bye-blows are begot
In Matrimony, than there are without,
As oft as Hedghogs suck the Teats of Cows
And Virgin-Pullets have been clap'd by Crows.

The antient Greeks, the Oracle profest
To be the wisest men of all the rest,
Believ'd the Globe of Earth, the Fire and Water
To be the greatest Deities in Nature,
And those more holy and devout than the others,
That marri'd with their Daughters, and Mothers.

For Matrimony's but a bargain made
To serve the Turns of Interest and Trade;
Not out of Love or kindness, but designs,
To settle Lands and Tenements like Fines;
Where Husbands are but Copy-holds, and Wives
Mere Messuages to have and t' hold for lives.

Marriage either make's or mars
More Certain then Ascendant stars.

An Error that b'ing once Committed
By death alone can be acquitted.

That Bind's the Bridegroom, and the Bride,
I' th' middle like a Fagot ty'd.

219

A thing that's only usd for Forme
Which none that undertake Perform.
No more Concernd then Vouchers are
In what they undertake to Sweare.

A Happines that only Lyes
Amonge the Sottish or the wise
That oversee, or else Prevent
Th' occasions of their Discontent.

220

WOMEN

A Parsons wife, some Critiques use to Recon
Half-way in Orders, like a Fœmall Deacon
That by their Husbands Copys, are ordaind,
And made their Vicars, at the Second Hand;
And by their Spirituall Callings, have their Shares
In ordering the Parishes Affairs.
And chang the Nature of their Sex, betwixt
The Clergy, and the Layety Commixt.

The one half of the world has been begot
Against the other Parts Designe and Plot.

The Soules of women are so small
That Some believe th' have none at all;
Or, if they have, Like Cripples, still
Th' ave but one Facu[l]ty, the Will;
The other two are quite layd by
To make up one great Tyranny:
And though their Passions have most Powr,
They are (like Turkes) but slaves the more
To th' Abs'lute will, that with a breath
Has Sovrain Powr of life and Death.
And, as it's little Intrests move,
Can turne 'em all to Hate or love,
For nothing in a Moment turn
To Frantique Love, Disdain, and Scorn,
And make that Love degenerate
T' as great extremity of Hate
And Hate againe, and Scorn, and Piques
To Flames, and Raptures, and Love-tricks.

Our women, though they have forsworn
Virginity, like Nuns, are shorn.

The chast Lucrecia durst not stand
The fatal thrust of Tarquins hand,
But rather let him have his will
Then feel the sharpnes of his steel;

221

But when the Feat was don and past
All remedy (I mary was't)
She did not feare to act his part,
And boldly stabd her self to th' heart.

The Sophy give's his Bauds Commission
To Leavy, for his own Provision
The Brightest Bewtys, and to Choose
Those that are fittest for his use,
With Powr, by Privy-search, to try
Their fitnes, and Ability,
If they Rest quietly t' explore
Or in their sleeps break winde, or snore.

222

LUST

Compard with you, the Antique Dame
Had never gaind her self, a Name,
By Breaking of the wildest Horses
Who do it better with their ------.

What's Pleasure but the Repetition
Of over-ridden, Tyrd Fruition?

Harlotry's a Double vice
As Cissors Cutting once Cut twice.

There are more Naked, Baudy Pictures made
Of Innocent Lucrecia with her Blade,
Then all the Famous Lady Curtezans;
In History, or fabulous Romances.

Monsters got twixt Man and Beast
Stil take to th' Human-Parent least
Because the Beast, that do's but suffe[r],
Is not so Beastly as the Lover.

As Frenchmen with their Diseases
As Fraile, and tender as Punaises.

A Leacher's like a Bartl[m]ew fair Fiddle
With nothing but a lazzo in the middle.

One under Milstone, wil weare out,
Six upper-ones that Turn about.

And if she chance t' imploy a Neibor
To save herself and him the Labour
The Busnes is the better don
Then if sh' had trusted him alone.

What Lovers e're were so Capriccious
To whip their own Socratique Breeches?

Claps that in the Getting Please
Delight as much in giving ease.

223

Punks made their Easy Cullys truckle
As witches Ride the Imps they suckle.

More Arts are usd to bring in a ------ whore
Then to Create a French Pope heretofore.

The Turks Seragl[i]o
Is but a kind of Bawdy Hospital,
Where Eunuch-Pimps and Virtuoso-women
Are kept with smal Allowances in Common,
Shut up and watchd in Secret Nunnerys
Beyond the Reaches of the Publique Eies,
And not allowd at Liberty to Ramble
And clap the Sex with scandalous Example.

[Courtiers]
With costly Pride, and vanity, Proclame
Their Infamous Prerogative of Shame,
And by their Pompe, and Insolence, and Port,
The Ignorance and weaknes of the Court,
Until the very Name of Chr[i]stian
Is but a Foyl to that of Musselman.

The Antients in their times esteemd it more,
Then Punishment enough, To be a whore.
That Draw their faces after the Designe
Of th' Antient Master, Peter Aretine,
And for the Strokes and Cullor of the Paint, 'tis
All coppyd out of famous Elephantis.

224

HONOR

Dishonor, tho a Negative, is Real
But Honor Nothing but a Jugler['s] Spell.
Has no more virtue in't, nor Influence
Then th' Antient Powder, of Experience:
That Smoke, the vaprous Excrement of Fire,
Do's not more Naturally strive, t' aspire.
That aime's at no Designe, but to exempt
The Mean, and Despicable, from Contempt:
And when they have no Honor of their owne
To take a Dispensation of the Crown.
A Priviledg of Pereage, and Free Grant,
T' indulge the frayl Nobles with what they want;
A Royall Bill of Store, and many times
A Pardon for th' Intollerablest Crimes
Which make's the New-Atchievments pass, instead
Of Honorable, Heroique Act, and Deed.
And servs for Compensation to Supply
The Reall wants of tru Nobility.

For those that only Clame the Priviledge
To Ride to execution, on a Sledge
Disdaine Inferiors, of less Deserts
That only are allowd to Ride in Carts.

The Turks caress a Drunken Prisoner
And Drub them, till they greater men Appeare
Then they would owne themselves, t' have been before,
To set a greater Ransom on their score.

And Painters made all Signes o' th' Saracen
As big as Gyants, tho but Little men;
Because the Christians in the holy wars
Were sometimes beat by such smal Conquerors,
To save their Credit, Drew their Heads and Faces
As fierce as Gog-magogs, or Goliasses.

225

Contempt of Honor in the Great is worse
Then want of Conscience, in Inferiors.

And when there are two Persons, that within
The Species only, hardly are of kin,
A great and lesser, both lay Claims t' allyance,
With æqual Scorn of both sides, and Defyance:
For Little Familys, are sure to claime,
To be the Best Descended of the Name:
And Antient Houses, that are under Hatches
Have been Restord to Honorable by matches;
And New ones half-gentile, Half-Mungrels,
Have been erected into Great, from Dung-hills.
How many Kitchin-mayds, and homely Drudges
Have been espousd by Aldermen, and Judges?
And Whetstone-Sinners, virtuous Ladys dubd
As soon as Churchd of Child-bed-Claps, and tubd.

The Raggedst Begger is the most Clinquant,
And He the Richest that is most in want.
For those that have the Plentifullest Stores,
Of Broken Limbes, and Vermin, Scabs and Sores
And own the Greatst Variety of Patches
Are held the most Considerable Matches.
So thievs abroad are held the most Gentile
That oftest stand for Breaking on the wheel
Have don their Exercises best to Boyl,
For Forging Coyn, in Kitchen-stuf, or Oyl,
On Gibbets strivd to take their last Farewels
And Hang themselvs for their own Passing-bels;
Have undergone the French Strapado oftest
Down from the Top to Bottom and the loftiest.

All wild, but Generous Creatures, Live of Course
As if they had Agreed for better, or worse:
The Lion's constant to his only Miss
And never Leav's his Faithfull Lioness.
And she as Chast and tru, to him, agen
As virtuous Ladys use to be to Men.
The Docile and Ingenious Elephant,
T' his own, and only fœmal, is Gallant:

226

And she as Tru, and Constant, to his Bed:
That first Injoyd her single Mayden-Head.
But Paltry Rams, and Bulles, and Goats, and Boars
Are never satisfyd with New Amores,
As all Pultrons with us delight to Range,
And tho but for the worst of all, to change.

227

THE WORLD

Divide the world int' equall Halfes
The one's all Fooles, the other Knaves.

All Ovids Metamorphoses
Turn Men to Beasts, or Stones, or Trees
But seldom any where translate
The Changlings to a Better State.

Should [once] the world Resolve t' abolish
All that's Ridiculous, and Foolish,
It would have nothing left to do
T' apply in Jeast or Earnest to,
No Busnes of Importance, Play,
Or State, to pass it's time away.

Mankind's the same to Beasts and Fouls
That Devils are to Humane Soules,
Who therefor, when like Fiends th' appeare,
Avoyd and Fly with equal feare;
And to be tempted or to be tam'd
Is but to be betrayd or Damnd;
While Both have but one Reason for't,
Their own Advantages or Sport.

The world, the more it know's,
The worse and wickeder it grows.
Is but more vaine, and Foolisher
The more it turns Philosopher:
For Truth, and Reason are not fit
For all mens Tempers, nor their wit,
And knowledge honestly acquird
More hard to come by, then th' Inspird
Where Men may 'ssume with greater ease
Then Pains, and Study, what they please;
And, as they Grow more Rich by stealing
By Cheats, and Fraud then honest Dealing,
Appeare more wise by shifts and Tricks
Then Just, and solid Politiques

228

And sooner wriggle into Trust
Then think to rise by being Just.

When al the world for Sin was drownd,
That which succeeded was not found
To be much better, then Before,
But to deserve that vengeance more.

The Greatest People and the least
Are much the same, like East and West,
For Luxury the one, as much as
The other Penury, Deboches.

What Horrid Actions would the world forbear
If Men were sure to be Immortal here?
When those that do but think, they may be so,
Such Barbrous Villanys Presume to do.

For Innocence is a Defence
For nothing else but Conscience;
'Twil not beare out the blows of Fate,
Nor Fence against the Tricks of State;
Nor from th' oppression of the Laws
Defend the Plain'st and Justest Cause;
Nor keep unspotted a good Name
Against the obloquies of fame;
Feeble as Patience, and as soon
By being blown upon undon.

If a few sober thoughts might be allowd
Free from the Sottish Madnes of the Crowd;
Or that it were not madnes now to dare
But to be less mad then our betters are,
I would say something faine, but truth and Sense
Are now become a high and bold offence,
And knowledg such forbidden fruite, [he] shows
A desprat Folly, that Speake's what he knows.
For men are grown so bad, they can indure
The ------ Disease no longer, nor the Cure,
But rave like madmen in their hottest fits
'Gainst those that strive to bring them to their wits.

229

Never for Satyr was there better times,
Wee now are got up to the hight of Crimes:
All that was don before was mean and low
To that, which evry Day produce's now.

When Death Come's to the happy and the blest
They'r turnd out; and the wretched but releast.

For to what end do's wit and Learning serve
But to bring those, that own them most, to s[t]erve?

There's nothing great, or high, or Noble,
That is not ful of glorious trouble.

Disclame the mean Applause of Ignorants
Live with thy self and thou wilt know thy wants.

As no excess can hold without supply,
Rapine is Treasurer to Luxury.

Think evry Day thy last and what remain[s]
Comes unexpectedly and is cleare gaines.

This world is like Noahs Ark
In which few men but many Beasts imbark.

Vices, like eeles, slip through a gentle hand,
But with rough Leaves are held, or rugged Sand.

A Pimp
Is but a whores familiar or her Imp.

The world would be more Just, if truth, and Lys
And Right, and wrong, did beare an æqual Price;
But since Impostures are so highly Raysd,
And Fayth, and Justice equally Debasd,
Few men have Tempers, for such Paltry Gaines,
T' undo themselves, with Drudgery, and Paines.

A Place so barbarous and foul
The Devil would [not] go there for a Soul,
And, if h' had left his eies behind,
Rather then fetch 'em would be blinde.

230

Our solemn Blacks are worn
To cloath our selves not them for whom we [mourn].

Shame and Repentance are the Constant Price
Of all our False and Idle vanities,
And our best wisdom only to esteeme
The world a vain and Short Fantastique Dreame.

For most mens Lives are nothing but Diversions
T' avoyd th' uneasinesses of their own Person's.
Had rather tumble Sisiphus his Stone
Then but indure themselvs, to be alone.

Man of all Creatures the most Fierce and wild
That ever God Made, or the Devil Spoyld.

For Mankind Naturally resents the Need
Of nothing more then what they are forbid.

There is no honest meanes of Rising high:
The Stairs of Rooms of State are built awry.

So wax, that is the worst of all things else,
Is therefore usd to serve the world in Seales,
When nothing in the world can be more fit
To be Defacd, and Forgd, and Counterfit.

Dead mens Graves
Consume and Bury their own Epitaph[s].

Life is a Game that'[s] lost before 'tis Playd
And is but not thrown up, when 'tis Injoyd.

231

VULGARITY

How various, and Innumerable
Are those, who live upon the Rabble?
'Tis they maintaine the Church, and State,
Imploy the Priest and Magistrate,
Beare all the Charge of Government,
And pay the Publique Fines, and Rent;
Defray all Taxes, and excises,
And Impositions of all Prices;
Beare all th' expence of Peace, and war,
And pay the Pulpit, and the Bar:
Maintain all Churches, and Religions,
And give their Pastors exhibitions.
And those, who have the greatest Flocks,
Are Primitive, and orthodox.
Support all Schismatiques, and Sects,
And pay 'em for tormenting Texts.
Take all their Doctrines of[f] their Hands
And pay 'em in good Rents, and Lands;
Discharg all Costly Offices,
The Doctor's and the Lawyers fees,
The Hangmans wages, and the Scores
Of Caterpiller Baudes, and whores;
Discharge all Damages, and Costs
Of Knights, and Squires of the Posts,
All Statesmen, Cutpurses, and Padders,
And pay for all their Ropes and Ladders;
All Pettifoggers, and all Sorts
Of Mercats, Churches, and of Courts;
All Sums of Money payd or spent,
With all the charges Incident,
Layd out, or thrown away, or given,
To purchace this world, Hell, or Heaven.
For should the world but take account
To what it's Charges do amount,
One third at least of all the Sum
Is spent upon the world to Come.

232

Nothing make's Hell s' intollerable
As the bad Company and Rabble.

All Mankind is but a Rabble
As silly and unreasonable
As those that Crowding in the Street
To see a Show or Monster meet;
Of whom no one is in the Right,
Yet all fall out about the Sight;
And when they chance t' agree, the choyce is
Still in the most and worst of Voyces;
And all the Reasons that prevayle
Are measur'd not by weight but tale.

Non live so happy and at ease
As those who mortifying profes.

The two wicked Elders Susanna would grope
While she sent out her mayd to fetch her some sope;
But when they could not make her a whore
They swore she had swiv'd with another before.

A Thief, whose Destiny's forespoke,
And sentenc'd by his hanging Look,
As soon as he's condemn'd to dye,
Looks handsome in the Rabble's eye.

233

MORALITY

All mens Intrigues, and Projects tend
By sevrall Courses to one end,
To Compass by the Properst shows,
What ever their Designes propose;
And that which ownes the fairst Pretext
'Tis often found the Indirect'st.
Hence 'tis that Hypocrites stil paint
Much fayrer then the Real Saint,
And Knaves appeare more just, and true
Then honest men, that make less show;
The Dullest Ideots in Disguise
Appeare more knowing then the wise;
Illiterate Dunces undiscern'd
Pass in the Rabble for the Learnd;
And Cowards that can damn, and Rant
Pass muster for the Valiant.
For he that has but Impudence
To all things has a Just Pretence;
And Put amonge his wants but shame
To all the world may lay his Clame.

In Ballances the lightest end
Do's always Naturally ascend:
So in th' Affaires of Church and State
Men soonest rise for want of weight:
And as those Names are Counted best,
That signify and meane the least;
So 'tis with Persons in th' opinion
Of Church and State, that have least in 'em.

Al great Men are found to rise
As Pigeons mount with seald-up eies.

For as in great and Crowded Faires
Monsters and Puppet plays are wares,
Which in the less wil not go of[f],
Because they have not money enough:

234

So men in Princes Courts will pass,
That will not in another place.

Most of all great Persons Fates
Deserve mens Pitty or their Hates.

Men flatter with their Tongues, more false,
And base, then Dogs do, with their Tayles,
And creep more vilely into favour,
Then Hounds that drivel, with their Chaps, and slaver.

To aske Forgivenes, and excuse
An Injury, and past Abuse
Is such a Plaister for a wound
As that o' th' weapon Salve is found,
That only has virtue to restore
And Cure the Hurt it did before.

Willows are weak and yet beinge Bow'd
Have Powr to binde the stubborn'st wood.

Mens Armes grow next their heads t' infer
Advice and Action should be neare.

As Thistles wear the softest Down,
To hide their Prickles, till they're grown;
And then declare themselves, and tear
Whatever ventures to come near:
So a smooth Knave does greater Feats
Than one, that idly rails and threats,
And all the Mischief, that he meant
Does like a Rattle-snake prevent.

As al men Live by one anothers Deaths
The Murthrer gaine's but what the Dead bequeaths.

235

AVARICE

As he, whose destiny do's prove
To dangle in the Aire above,
Do's loose his life for want of Air,
That only fell to be his share:
So he, whom Fate at once design'd
To Plenty and a wretched minde,
Is but condemnd to rich Distress,
And starves with Niggardly excesse.
So Ships that chance to run aground
Are oft for want of water drown'd.

[A Miser]
Who with an upright Heart Lov'd Gold,
Not to injoy but t' have, and hold,
And was it's tru, and Real Friend
Without the least Designe, or end.
Observd it only for it self
As hidden Treasure's by an Elfe.

In all the world, there is no vice
Less Prone t' excess then Avarice;
It neither cares for food, nor clothing:
Nature's Content with little, that with nothing.

236

FORTUNE

[DAME] Fortune some Men's Tutelar
Takes charge of them without their Care,
Do's all their Drudgery, and work,
Like Fairies, for 'em in the Dark,
Conduct's 'em Blindfold, and advances
The Naturals by blinder Chances:
While others by Desert and wit,
Could never make the Busnes hit,
But still the Better they Deserve,
Are but the Abler thought to sterve.

Fortun[e]'s never so Perverse
As when Sh' oblige's Conquerers.
For Victorys acquird too soon
Are Lost as Easyly as won.

Men at their Hight of Fortune are undon
As all Ecclipses Happen at Ful moon.

There is no more, but a mere cast at Dice
Between the Greatest Idiot, and the wise
But Cross, and Pile between the Great, and Smal
And which shal Prove the Female, or the Male.

For some Mens Fortunes like a weft or Stray
Are only Gaind by loosing of their way
An[d] fall from one mans, to anothers Hands
By chance and Destiny like Deodands.

The Cunningst Gamsters are not lik[e] to win
That Put out Better Cards then they take in.

Man is supreme Lord and Master
Of his own Ruin and Disaster,
Controuls his Fate, but nothing else
In ord'ring his own Happiness:
For all his Care and Providence
Is too too feeble a Defence,

237

To render it secure and certain
Against the Injuries of Fortune;
And oft, in spight of all his Wit,
Is lost with one unlucky hit,
And ruin'd with a circumstance,
And mere punctilio of Chance.

As Gold, that's proof against th' Assay,
Upon the Touchstone wears away;
And, having stood the greater Test,
Is overmaster'd by the least:
So some Men, having stood the Hate
And spiteful Cruelty of Fate,
Transported with a false Caress
Of unacquainted Happiness,
Lost to Humanity and Sense,
Have fall'n as low as Insolence.

238

WEALTH

The fishes of the Sea have more
And Richer Banks of wealth in Store
With Pretious Stones of greater worth
Then all the Princes of the Earth
Brought freely in by evry Storme
But do 'em neither good nor Harme;
Which, if they were on Land, th' excess
Would bring their valew down to less
And render them as useless here
As now th' are to no purpose there;
So Dutch men to Keep up the Price
Are fain to burn vast Stores of Spice.

Partners in Distress agree
Much better then Prosperity.

The Restles Drudgery of Fooles
That for their work mistake their Tooles
And, like the silly Prussian, eate,
And swallow Knives instead of meate,
And know no use at all for Money
But Slavery and Parcimony.

[Fooles]
That have no use, beside their Drudging,
For all their Miserable Curmudging,
But, for an Itch of getting more,
Will venture all they had before,
And for an Idle Flam of Hopes
Stake Necks and all to th' ods of Ropes.

The very Paint of Gold is Poyson
And Gold to some have provd as Noysom.

An Old Curmudgin
Grown Rich with Penury, and Drudging,
As Usurers Tooles work night and Day
And earne by Passing time away,

239

The more his Time is idly Lost
And thrown away, improv's it most
Let's out his Heralds fields of Gold
For Mortgages, to have and hold
Until h' has Raysd his Silver-Acres
Beyond th' Unconscionablest Rackers.

Men are not Limited with less, or more:
Desire and Fancy makes them Rich or Poore.

240

WRITERS

As 'tis the greatest Mastry in the Art
Of Painting, to Foreshorten any Part
Then draw it out, So 'tis in Bookes, the Chief
Of all Perfections, to be Plain, and Brief.

For He that Plainly writs his Busenes down,
He is obligd to Justify and owne,
Appeares more wise, then if he did Compile
Far Greater Matters in a Polishd Style.

It is impossible to write
Satyrically, and not light
On something of him unawares
As Spaniels Casually Start Hares.

The Modern times have no Arithmetique
Of th' Antient Roman Masters, nor the Greek.

The Antients Seldom did translate a Book,
But only what was for their Purpose tooke,
And left the Rest for others to make use
Of what they Pleasd, and freely Pick and Choose.
But what is more Familiar in their Books
Then Men begetting children upon Brooks?
From which they fetch their Antique Pedigrees
And own themselves at first a Spawne of Fish.
Others derive their Races from the Gods
That Ravisht silly Virgins in the woods,
As Naturally as the Spanish Kinde
Of Running Nags ingendred by the wind.

As Cutpurses do never minde what Sum
Nor who the Person is, they take it from,
And, though their Throttles are layd down at Stake,
Know nothing if they Gold or Silver take,
Some strive the Cheapest ways to understand
And take their Notions up at second Hand.

241

All Plagiarys do but Steal, and Poch
And upon other Careless wits encroach.
Converst with wits, and Rallyers, to way lay
And Intercept, all that they Chancd to say.
Made Topiques, Indexes, and Concordances,
Of smart Reflexions, Repartees, and Fancies,
When that which may be tru enough, turn's False
When 'tis but weyd in false uneven Scales.

As He that both condemnd and stole from Hobs
Like a French Thief that murthers when he Robs.

For evry Author is a Criminall,
That by his Pere's is Bound to stand, or Fall;
And like the Laws Mediety o' th' Tongue
By Fooles, or wise men, Censurd Right or wrong;
Altho in one Epistle Dedicatory,
He Pawnes the Notes, He gatherd under Glory;
And lays out all the Inventory of Prayses,
H' had Scrapd together, in his Comon-Places:
To settle all the Property upon
Some Honorable, Singular Patrone,
Provided the Mecænas undertook
Against the Critiques, to secure his Book:
And, like a Man of Honor, kept his Promise,
To Rescue him from Zoilus, and Momus,
That when his Felonys, should be Detected,
They might by him, as vainly, be Protected;
When all the Powr he has, will not afford
A Dispensation, to one Faulty word;
A Lewd, and most Ridiculous Divice,
And yet by Custome Past for Learnd, and wise.

Next this the Præface Follows, with excuses
For all the Faults, the Author knows, but uses.
Makes his Submission to the Grave, and wise,
But the Ignorant, and Criticall De[f]y's:
Put's in his own Exceptions before Hand,
'Gainst all that shall Prætend to understand.
And like a Guilty Criminall in Books
Excepts against his Jury by their Looks

242

Only to Put in Caveats, and Demurrers
And Cuningly Assignes himself his Errors;
Calls all his Gentle Readers, Thou, and thee:
But styles himself, Our Person, us, and wee.
Makes Honorable Mention, of all others
Who've undergone the Dignity of Authors,
And never Names them, but for Honors sake,
Especially, of those that seeme to take
And have the Naturallest Inclynations
To all his own Opinions, and Perswasions.
But as the Devill blows both Hot, and Cold
So if it be His Chance to Rayle, or Scold
H' has foul words enough, for th' extirpation
Of all Good maners, in the Civillst Nation.
With Tropes, and Figures such as Western-Pugs,
Repeate upon the Thames in Dialogues.
Until the Porch grow's Bigger then the House:
As Mountaines Swel and Ly-in of a Mouse.

The Smartest of all Libels and Lampoones
Like vermin Scratch, and Bite, but break no Bones;
For all their Edges and their Claws are turnd,
As soon as once they are Dispisd, and Scornd.

For some are stil most constantly Imployd
In doing what they study to avoyd:
For to consider's nothing but to Prune
All that's superfluous, and over don,
And not impertinently to ad more
To what was too extravagant before;
And, therefore, a Judicious Authors Blots
Are more Ingenious then his first Free thoughts,
And those that understand, are modester
In telling truth, then Pedants, when they erre;
Are most severe themselvs to all they write,
As Candles tremble when they give us light.

243

POETRY

As wine, that with its own weight run's, is best,
And counted much more noble then the Prest:
So is that Poetry, whose generous Straines
Flow without servile Study, Art, or Paines.

[Poets]
Make the Gods Stickle in Heroique Actions,
And manage all Disputes in Armes by Factions,
That set the Knights together by the eares,
And part them afterwards like Dogs and Beares;
For when the Champions valiantly have fought
The Gods themselves, to part the Fray, fall out.

Things that are written in Cold bloud
Seldom prove excellently good.

Can any thing be don or sayd
That may not good, or bad be made?

Poets are Free of evry Nation
And need no Naturalization.

For why should not affected Negligence
Pass for wit here as freely as in France?

Wits that are always in the State of war
Hold it no Crime but Lawful Prize
To plunder those that are their enemies.

For one Admirer is enough
To serve for good sufficient proof,
Though ever so extravagant
Among the weake and Ignorant.

Why should a Man aske Pardon for a fault
That's in his Power to commit or not?

For as some Critiques use to make that wit,
That never was so much as meant for it;

244

[So] (to be like themselves) they'l make that pass
For Nonsense and mistake, that never was;
[Th]at like to Rookes bet on some fancyd hand,
[W]hich they like better then they understand.
[F]or what they finde not faulty they wil make,
And Damne what's written wel, and they mistake;
[F]or whatsoever is above their reach
[To] their own Low capacity they'l stretch.

It is not Poetry that makes men Poore;
For few do write, that were not so before;
For those that have writ best, had they been rich,
[Had] nere been clap'd with a Poetique itch;
Had lovd their ease too well, to take the Paines
[To u]ndergo that drudgery of Braines;
[B]ut being for all other Trades unfit,
[On]ly t' avoyd b'ing idle set up wit.

Some call it Fury, some a Muse,
That, as Possessing Devils use,
Haunts, and forsake's a man, by fits:
And when hee's in, h' is out of 's wits.

A Foolish Title, like a Foolish Look,
Is a True Symptom of a foolish Book.

He that creepes after Sense shal nere excel
In Nonsense, Fustian, nor in Doggerel.

No other Nation's so severely bent
To see offenders brought to punishment
As th' English are, for when a Thief is Caught,
To be by officers to Justice brought,
All People Crow'd to hurry him along,
As if h' had don to evry one the wrong:
So when a Poet happens to Commit
Ever so smal a Robbery of wit,
You al Cry upon him, and pursue,
As if h' had stol'n from evry one of you.

A Satyr, like a Roman Magistrate,
Has Rods before him born in state,

245

To fright the Guilty from their Crimes,
And Scourge the faults of vicious Times:
For in extent of Powr a Satyr
Is absolute as a Dictator.

Who always shootes his Bolts of wit
Has ill Luck if they never hit.

Nothing more moves the just disdain of men
Then bold assumings of an Ignorant Pen.

He that would understand what you have writ
Must read it through a Microscop of wit;
For evry Line is Drawn so curious there
He must have more then eies that reads it cleare.

All Elegies are false and Satyrs true
If Prayse and Disprayse had its Due.

As Pedants when they fayl in prose or verse
Maintaine their Errors by committing worse
Tel what they learnt when they were boys at Schoole
An[d] Justify their Nonsense with a Rule.

All writers, though of Diffrent Fancies,
Do make all People in Romances,
That are distrest and discontent,
Make Songs and sing t' an Instrument;
And Poets by their Suffrings grow,
As if there were no more to do,
To make a Poet excellent,
But only want and discontent.

They, that do write in Authors Prayses,
And freely give their Friends their voyces,
Are not Confind to what is True;
That's not to give, but pay a Due:
For prayse that's true, do[es] give no more
To worth, then what it had before;
But to commend without Desert
Requires a Mastery of Art,
That set's a gloss on what's amisse,
And writes what should be, not what is.

246

In Forraine Universities,
When a King's born, or wed's, or Dy's,
All other Studys are layd by,
And all apply to Poetry:
Some write in Hebrew, some in Greeke,
And some more wise in Arabique,
T' avoyd the Critique, and th' expence
Of Difficulter wit, and Sense,
And seeme more Learnedish then those
That at a greater Charge Compose.
The Doctors lead, and Students follow;
Some call him Mars, and some Apollo,
Some Jupiter, and give him th' ods
Or even tearmes of all the gods:
Then Cæsar he's nicknamd, as Duly as
He that in Rome was Christend Julius,
And was adrest to by a Crow
As pertinently long agoe;
And with more Hero's Names is Stild,
Then Saints are clubd t' an Austrian Child:
And as wit goes by Colleges,
As wel as Standing and Degrees,
He stil write's better then the rest,
Who's of the House that's Counted best.

All the wit
At Play-houses is in the Pit.

For Poets sing, and ne're speake Plain,
As those that quote their works maintain,
And no man's bound to any thing
He do's not say, but only sing.
For since the good Confessors time
No deeds are valid writ in Rhime,
Nor any held Authentique Acts
Seald with a Tooth upon the wax:
For Men did then so freely deal,
Their words were deeds, and teeth a Seal;
And 'tis not a Straw-matter whether
'Tis tru or false, or both, or neither,

247

For all men write in th' Intervalls
Of Sense is neither tru nor false.

Melodious as the Bard, whose Muse
Resound's in Galleries, and Pews,
Or those Heroique Deathles sheets
Are Chanted at the Ends of Streets.

Stages are but Poets Banks
On which they play Heroique Pranks.

So Homer in th' Immortall Piques
Between the Trojans, and the Greeks,
That neither Party might Prevayl
Bring's in the Gods to stave, and Tayl.

For all Encomions are but meant to whedle
Enchant and tickle writers, like a Fiddle,
And Blow them up, with Rosen, and Horse-hair,
As Bel once, and the Idol Dragon were.

Some modern Authors have found out New ways
To hedg applause in at the end of Plays,
And cheat their Audience with a sly intrigue
By turning of an Epilogue t' a Jigge,
And, if yee clap it, as ye are always wont,
To put th' Applause upon the Plays account.
But he that makes a Conscience of his ways
Wil not defraud you of one Jot of prays,
But rather take whatever you think fit
Then use the least cheat to set of[f] his wit.

Brambles and Thorns weare Prickles to defend
Their Harsh wild Fruite against the Fingers end
While nobler Trees freely expose their Store
And as that's richer, bend their Bows the lower.

As Poets that for money write
Do but make Sale-work Coarse and slight
That for the cheapnes of the Stuff
Is like to go the better of[f].

248

As al Fanatiques preach, so al men write
Out of the Strength of Gifts, and Inward light,
In Spight of Art, as Horses thorough-pac'd
Were never taught, and therefore go more fast.

As He that make's his Mark is understood
To write his Name, and 'tis in Law as good:
So he that cannot write one word of Sense
Believ's he ha's as legal a Pretence
To Scribble what he do's not understand,
As Idiots have a Title to their Land.

Some to that height of Impudence are grown
To charge on others thefts that are their own.

A Prologue is the usher of a Play
Just as an Eave is to a Holiday.

Critiques are like a kinde of Flys that breed
In wild Fig-trees, and when they'r grown up, feed
Upon the raw Fruit of the nobler kinde,
And by their nibling on the outward rinde
Open the Pores, and make way for the Sun
To rip'n it sooner then he would have don.

Some by whole Tribes and Familys do write
New Plays as th' antient Jews were wont to fight.

Al men of Judgment do not ask how soone
A thing was doing but how wel 'tis done.

Some hold it is Impossible to write
One Act without a Song, or Dance, or fight,
Or make al Different Intrigues accord
Until th' have been decided by the Sword.

For Gentlest Spectators at a Play,
That throng and Crowd to see it the first Day,
Feare nothing more then that it should prove Good
Or by the wit-inquisitors be allowd,
But chiefly those that have writ il before
And do intend to try again once more.

249

Who like those kinde Spectators in the Ring
When Necks are broken at a Wrastling
No matter whose, set up their throats and Bawl
O'rejoyd when any man receive's a Fall.

Al sorts of Ideots, like Fanatiques,
Have pow'r in Comedy, and turn Dramatiques
For just as when a Taylor make's a Suite
What neede's the Cloth or stuffe he uses to't
Should by himself be made? No more is't fit
All a man writes should be of his own wit.

For He that steales French wit do's worse
Then he that Picks an empty Purse,
And is an Ignoranter Toney
Then he that files and clip's false money,
And vainly think's to gaine by those,
Who never had one Souse to loose,
Worse then a Goldfinder that rake's
For Spoones and Bodkins in a Jakes.

No Man wants wit, for he that has the least
Believes hee's as well furnishd as the Best.

For hee's a Poet that write's bad,
No less then he that do's excel,
As he's a Merchant that do's loose as wel
As he that thrives and grow's rich by his trade.

As if the Plaine Expression of a Thought,
The greatest Mastry, were the greatest fault.

For as in Tale of Dead things men are wont
To allow more in th' hundred on account
Then to the Living: So men after fate,
Have more allowd in th' hundred to their weight
Then th' had before: For Nature has Contrived,
That men are Fuller dead, then when they livd.

250

GOVERNMENT

The People have as much a Negative voyce,
To hinder making War, without their Choyce,
As Kings of Making Laws in Parlament,
No Money is as Good as no Assent.

For Cromwel found his Politiques Miscarry,
By trusting but one Antient Adversary:
For all his Arbitrary Empire sunk,
As soon as He Employd, and trusted Munke.

When Princes idly Lead about,
Those of their Party follow Suite,
Til others trump upon their Play,
And turn the Cards another way.

The Greatest Princes are not free from Paying
The Cost and Charges of their own betraying,
That (like Good Christians) stand faire
To take another Cuff on th' Eare,
As Jewish Prophets usd t' intreat
And beg the Favour to be Beat.

Queen Elzabeth Placd Officers to waite
In London constantly at every Gate,
To Cut the Ruffs of al that Past the Guard
That were above a Naile deep of a yard.

A womans Government is braver then,
And far more Masculine then that of men:
The Reason of the Paradox is Common;
For woemen take to Men, and men to women.

What makes all Subjects discontent
Against a Princes Government?
And Princes take as great offence
At Subjects Disobedience?
That neither, th' other can abide,
But too much reason on each side?

251

The Roman Empire raysd upon
Revenge, for wrongs to Lucrece don,
Was after by a Harlot savd
From b'ing eternally inslavd;
Yet 'tis not wise t' infer from thence
All States are safe that use that meanes.

For what Do's Hist'ry use to tel us
But Tales of Subjects being Rebellious,
The vain Perfidiousnes of Lords,
And Fatall Breach of Princes words?
The Sottish Pride, and Insolence
Of Statesmen, and their want of Sense?
Their Treachery, that undo's, of Custome,
Their own-selves first, next those who trust 'em?

Our Saxon Princes spent their Reignes
In Building Abbies, Routing Danes
That puld them down, and making Saints
To fill 'em with Inhabitants.
Our Saxon Princes beat the Danes
From Pagans into Christians,
Who in Requital gave no Quarters,
But drubd the Christians into Martyrs.

David, who was himself a mighty Prince,
Diswade's the world to trust 'em for three Pins.

The most Inhumane of the Roman Emprors
Were Pædants, and Lief-hebbers in their Tempers;
And those that Prov'd the most Infernal Monsters
Began with Turning Fidlers first, and Songsters;
Were but a kind of Dabling Virtuosos
No better then Gitar-men, and Flut-douces;
And those that Prov'd the Jockys, of the Cæsars,
Forgot the Glory of their Predecessors.

The Populace
Is Head of all Republicas.

[The Rabble]
Injoy two equal Delights
In Gallowses, and walking Sprights;

252

And visit once a Month of Course
The Tombe-stones of their Ancestors.

The earth is easier undermind
By Moles, and Vermine deaf and Blind
Then those that have their senses Sound
But cannot Dig so under ground.

As those that are starke Blinde, can trace
The Nearest ways from Place, to Place:
And find the Right way easier out,
Then those, that Hoodwink'd try to do't:
So Tricks of State are Managd best,
By those that are suspected least;
And greatest Finenes brought about
By Engines most unlike to do't.

Tho world believes no Man the worse,
That takes the Trecherousest Course:
But like's his Jugling as a Cheat feat
That's wittily perform'd, and neat:
And what they cannot justly gaine,
Believe's they ought by Art [t'] obtain.

Some Tyrannys have been s' extreame
To make it Criminal to dreame
When Men for sleeping were condemnd
For having traytorously dreamd.

A Good Prince is a wonder that appeare's
But once or twice in many hundred yeares.

All Churches are but th' Interests
Of Princes, and the Trades of Priests.

No Crisis is so Desperate
As Fatal Lethargies of State.
For Remedys are spent in vaine,
On those who have no sense of Paine.

Lyons are Kings of Beasts, and yet their Power
Is not to Rule and govern, but Devoure:
Such savage Kings all Tyrant[s] are, and they
No better then mere Beasts, that do obey.

253

The old Burgundians cald their kings
T' accompt for cold and Backward Springs
And Punishd them if aught but wel
Their Cattle or their Corn befell.

Plato held what so ere incumbers
Or strengthens Empire comes from numbers.

Though once one Conquerd by Delay
There were no more that tryd that way.

As at th' Approach of Winter, all
The Leave's of great Trees use to fall
And leave them Naked to ingage
With Stormes and Tempests when they rage;
While Humbler Plants are found to weare
Their Fresh green Liverys all the yeare:
So, when the glorious Season's gon
With Princes, and hard times come on,
The greatst Calamitys oppress
The greatest stil, and spare the less.

Nothing's more Dul and Negligent
Then an old Lazy Government;
That knows no Interest of state,
But such as serve a Present Streit,
And to patch up, or shift, wil close,
Or breake alike with Friends or foes;
That runs behinde hand, and has spent
It's Credit to the last extent;
And the first time 'tis at a Loss
Has not one true Friend, nor one Cross.

Authority is a Disease, and Cure,
Which men can neither want nor wel indure.

'Tis sad
That those who rule the world should stil be mad.
So Puddles when the sun shines faire
In Cloudy Chariots mount the Aire,
But when a Storm is raysd, in Raine
Fall down in Ditches back againe.

254

What is a Fellon
In times of Prosperous Rebellion
Such as we happily Live in?
When all are Sinners there's no Sin.

Authority like wine intoxicates
And make's mere fooles of Magistrates,
The Fumes of it invade the Braine,
And make's them giddy headed, proud and vaine:
By this the fool Commands the wise,
The Noble with the base Complys,
The Sot assume's the rule of wit
And Cowards make the Brave submit.

He that imploys men for respects,
Besides their usefulness, neglects
His service for his servants sake,
And soon wil finde his own mistake.

Authority must not admit
Relations that grow under it;
'Tis witchcraft and not powr to know
Familiars rising from below.

They that go up hil use to bow
Their bodys forward, and stoop low,
To poyse themselves, and sometimes creep,
When th' way is difficult and steep:
So those at Court that do addresse
By low ignoble offices,
Can stoop to any thing, that's base,
To wriggle into Trust and grace,
Are like to rise to greatness sooner
[Then] those that go by worth and honor.

All Acts of Grace, and Pardon, and Oblivion,
Are meant of Services, that are forgiven;
And not of Crimes, Delinquents have committed,
And Rather been Rewarded, then acquitted.
For Pastures that are newly broken up
Are wont to yeld the Plentifullest Crop,
And Flowers, that grow among a Field of corn
To weeds as bad as thorns, and thistlles turn.

255

LAW

For in all Parlaments, The Commoner[s]
Are but a kinde of Nursery of Peres,
Where all the Disafected to the Court
Are turnd to Peres and Sons of Honor for't.

A little wit wil serve, and lesser Law
A Jury and the witnesses to aw.

One Chanc'ler may suffice to Judge a Cause
In æquity, but four t' unriddle Laws.

The Antient Fleying-off a Judges Skin
The best Specifique of the Law has been;
Or those that made Frisillian take a swing
At Tyborn in a Legislative String.

Although Impartial Justice hold the Scales,
The Ballance that receives prevayles.

For Law can take a Purse in open Court
Whilst it Condemne's a less delinquent for't.

For Law that make's more knaves then ere it hung,
Little Considers right or wrong;
But (like Authority) 's soon satisfyd,
When 'tis to judg on its own side.

Law is like the Laberinth
With the two form'd Monster in't,
That usd t' eate mans flesh, and devour
Al that it got within its Powr.

Those that in Licencd Knavrys deal
And freely rob the Commonweal
And after make the Laws o' th' Land
A Refuge against Justice stand,
Like thieves that in a Hemplot Ly
Securd against the Huon Cry,

256

And make that which they most deser[v]e—
A Halter, for Protection serve.

Paupers are Plaintifs stil, for no man Sues
One that has nothing if hee's cast to loose.

In Law all men are understood
To b' Infants til their Actions are allowd.

There is a mean in things and certaine Lists
Beyond or short of which no Right consists.

Jury-men are never good and true
Until there is a dozen of the Crew.

The same man built the Royal Pallace
In Paris and Moun[t] Faucon gallows,
And afterwards was hangd upon't
For bringing in a wrong account:
He liv'd and might have don so long
But that the fates had spun his thread too strong.

When Rookes on lofty Tuf[ts] of Trees
Do build their Airy Colonies,
If both the owners of a Nest
Leave it ungarded, all the rest
Prepare t' invade with one Consent,
And rob the Naked tenement;
Fal on, and plunder it so fast
Until their worke is Spoyld with hast.
But if the watch, they set to Spy
Th' Approaches of the Enemy,
Discover the Right owner come,
Though ere so far of[f], towards home,
They al make hast to get away,
And leave behinde the ------ Prey.

[Law] does not put the Least Restraint
Upon our Freedom, but Maintain't.
Or, if it did, 'tis for our Good,
To give us Freer Latitude:
For wholesom Laws Preserve us free,
By stinting of our Liberty.

257

As when a greedy Raven sees
A Sheep, intangl'd by the Fleece,
With hasty Cruelty he flys
T' attack him, and pick out his Eyes:
So do those Vultures use, that keep
Poor Pris'ners fast, like silly Sheep,
As greedily to prey on all,
That in their rav'nous Clutches fall.
For Thorns and Brambles, that came in
To wait upon the Curse for Sin,
And were no part o' th' first Creation,
But for Revenge a new Plantation,
Are yet the fit'st materials
T' enclose the Earth with living Walls:
So Jaylers, that are most accurst,
Are found most fit, in being worst.

Lawyers that Deal
In Right, and wrong do never Buy but Sell,
And are sufficiently Supplyd with Both
From Publique Stocks, and those of their own Growth.

The sword of Justice, Legally Compels
All other Arms, to serve for Daggers else,
All sorts of Drubs, and Bastinades and Bruises
To Pass for Real Stabs in Law Reduces:
From whence no Murther is accounted good,
Before the Price, and valews understood,
Of th' wooden Sword and Dagger, or the Gun Stone,
With which the Mortal Feat of Arms was Don.
And if the weapon is not worth a Straw
The Homicide has don no Hurt in Law.

When those that sate for Judges on the Bench
Were False, and Senseles as their Pedlers French,
Had vaulted ore the Bar with so much slight
It was their Luck upon the Bench to light,
More Nice and subtle then those wier drawers
Of Equity, and Justice, Common Lawyers,
And more Impartial then the Judge that Steard
His Jurys by the Compas of his Beard

258

And, as to th' Right, or left he turnd the end,
Gave Notice for the Plaintif or Defendent.

The Ins of Court, from their own Claws
Protect the Prisners of the Laws.

For what Court ere allowd of Common-bayle,
In Coats that had been Primd with Grease, or Ale?
Or would Admit the thread-bare, or the Torne,
The Freedom to be Publiquely forsworn?
Or ever minded Affidavit Oaths,
In out-of-fashiond, and Illegall Cloaths?

Like him that let out mony to be Payd
Upon a Day, swore if it were Delayd
And not Dischargd, but half a Day Beyond,
He was Resolvd to Teare, or burn the Bond;
Or he that su'd a man who told his clock,
When falsly, and Erroneously it strook,
And would have brought his Action for a Tryal,
With one, that did but looke upon the Dial,
Or He that Disinherited his Son
For Riding on a Caus-way Pavd with Stone:
To weare his Horses shoos out, when Beside,
There was Plaine Ground, and soft enough to Ride.

For Lawyers keep no Equity at all
To serve their own occasions, but for Sale,
The Real Gryffins of the Common Laws
With Griping Talons on their Claws.

The Statute-Law's their Scripture, and Reports
The Antient Rev'rent Fathers, of their Courts,
Records their Generall Councels, and Decisions
Of Judges on the Bench, Their sole Traditions:
For which, like Catholiques, th' have the greater Awe,
As th' Arbitrary, and un-written Law.
And strive Perpetually, to make the Standard
Of Right, between the Tenent, and the Landlord;
And when two Cases, at a Triall, meet
And, like Indenturs, Jump exact, and fit:

259

And all the Poynts, like Chequer-Tallys, Suite,
The Courte Decides the obstinatst Dispute.
There's no Decorum usd, of Time, nor Place,
Nor Quality, nor Person, in the Case:
But both Picquere in Endles Controversy,
Until the one side's forct to yeld to mercy.

How much have our Tribunals been Improvd
Since Clergymen from Courts have been Removd;
And if they had but understood the Law,
Had kept the State and Government in awe.

No Court Allow's Those Partiall Interlopers
Of Law, and Æquity, two Single Paupers,
T' Incounter Hand to Hand at Bars, and Trounce
Each other Gratis, in a Suit, at once;
For one, at one time, and upon Free-cost is
Enough to Play the Knave, and Foole with Justice;
And when the one Side brings Custome in,
And th' other, Lay's out Half the Reconing,
The Dev'l himself wil rather Choose to Play
At Paltry Smal-Game, then sit out (they say);
But when at all, There's nothing to be Got,
The old wife, Law, and Justice, wil not trot.

For he that trust's the Purblind Hostice
Of th' Ins of Court and Chancery, Justice,
Must pay his money down before,
And be misreacond on the Score.
For Justice put's her sword into the Scales,
With which she's sayd to weigh out Tru, and False,
With No Designe, but, like [the] Antique Gaul,
To Get more Money from the Capitoll.

For that which Law, and Equity Miscals
By th' Empty Idle Names of Tru, or False,
Are Nothing else but Maggots blown between
False witnesses, and Falser Jury-men.

Old Laws have not been sufferd to be Pointed,
To Leave th' Interpretation more Disjoynted,

260

And yeld a greater Latitude to wrest
On all Emergent Cavil, and Contest.
For all the Sense, the Latin tongue Affords
Consists in the Last Syllables of words,
And, when by Dashes those become in vaine,
How should the Sense the same it was Remaine?
For what supports the Law, or makes it Good
But that it is not to be understood?
And therefore Has been (in its own Defence)
Writ in a Language, that wil Beare No Sense,
And Study'd only in a French Jargone
As Rude and as Insignificant as None.

[Lawyers]
Who never End, but only Prune a Suite,
To make it beare the Greater Store of Fruite!
For Ten times more is Easier to be Gotten
By Interrupting Justice then Promoting.
For Law, by Law, can only be Destroyd
As Statutes by themselvs are Renderd voyd,
Can never be Defeated of its Force
But by some Legal, and Judicial Course
In which the Forms of Law Destroy the Powr,
As Gospell often has been servd before,
Until it has Repeald it self and Run
With Magna Charta Publique Freedom down:
Hence 'tis, of Late, The Fundamental Laws
Were forcd the Ruine of themselvs to Cause,
For while Puntilios only were Asserted
The Government stood Fair to be subverted.

For Breaking of the Laws o' th' Land, at least
Is more then Half, the Publique Interest,
That might as wel have nere been made
As Punctually, by evry man, obeyd;
For then they would but signify al one,
With wisest Governments as if they had been None.
For what, but only Breach of Law, Supports
The Costly Charge, and Dignity of Courts?
That but for Murthers, Frauds, and Stelths,
Would be no Parts of Stats and Common-wealths:

261

For how could Justice beare the vast Expence,
If none should dare to give the Law offence?

For Laws are only valid then Reputed
When they can force themselvs to b' executed;
But whe[n] th' are freely broke, and do no Hurt,
They are but Scornd and Antiquated for't.

For 'tis the Constant Fashion of Law Cases
To Put on (under one Disguise) two Faces,
And Put the Client to the Charg, and Trouble
To fine and Pay for understanding double.

Those Judges, who before the Cause is Tryd
Determine which shalbe the Justest side
And Doom like Lightning that Destroys
Before the Hearing of the Noyse.

For those, that do but Rob and steal enough,
Are Punishments and Courts of Justice Proof;
And neede not Feare, nor be concernd a Straw
In all the Idle Bugbears of the Law,
But confidently Rob the Gallows too
As wel as other Suffrers of their Due.

A Reprobate, or Pious Man, bequeths
Their Souls of Course to Heavn at their Deaths,
Because there is no Trique in Law, to Pleade
A faulse conveiance, to molest the Dead,
That wanted Assets, fully to supply,
And Pay the Charges, of the Legacy.

Who can deserve for breaking of the Laws
A greater Penance then an honest Cause?

262

REBELLION

The Devil was the first o' th' name,
From whom the race of Rebels came,
Who was the first bold Undertaker
Of bearing Arms against his Maker;
And, though miscarrying in th' Event,
Was never yet known to repent,
Though tumbl'd from the top of bliss
Down to the bottomless Abyss;
A property which from their Prince
The Family owns ever since,
And therefore nere repent the evil
They do, or suffer, like the Devil.

The worst of Rebels never arm
To do their Kings or Country harm;
But draw their Swords to do them good,
As Doctors cure by letting blood.

263

TREACHERY

There's no Integrity, where Faith
Is not obligd, on Paine of Death;
Nor Obligation firm, and Good
That is not seald with mutuall Bloud,
Where both ingagers, can at will
Breake one another on the wheel.

There's no Integrity or trust
Where Intrest do's not make men Just.

Hypocrites with Acted Zeal
Take more then tru Saints with the Real,
That Pray and fast, but to devour
With Greater Greediness and Power.

As Truest Glasses Cheat the Sight
By Representing Left, for Right,
So Right, and wrong, are Counterchang'd
And in each others Places Rang'd.

One Enemy within the wals
Is worth a Troop without as false.

All the Politiques of the Great
Are like the Cunning of a Cheat,
That let's his False Dice freely Run,
And Trust's them to themselves alone;
But never let's a tru one Stir
Without some fingring Trick, or Slur;
And, when the Gamsters doubt his Play,
Conveys his False Dice safe away,
And leaves the Tru ones in the Lurch,
T' indure the Torture of the Search.
May they be Honest when it is too late,
That is undon the only way they hate,
Whose words and Actions are al one
And both together, Past, and don,
And most obliging Favours Civil
As kind indearments of the Devil.

264

To Promise only to Betray
Is but to cheat, and loose at Play,
To venture Credit upon Tick
For nothing but to shew a trick.

Chineses have their Publique Schooles to teach
The Libral Arts to cheat and overreach.

Treachery's a Princely Sport
The only Royal Game of Court.

It is in vaine for Cheats to fix
'Mong those, that understand their Trick[s]:
Who therefor Change the Aire, and Stroul,
To Catch the fresh unwary foul.

The Man, that for Profit's brought t' obey
Is only hir'd, on Liking, to betray;
And when he's bid a liberaller Price,
Will not be sluggish in the Work, nor nice.

For those are but Probatione[r]s
That have but once been Perjurers,
And have no[t] don their Exercise
Till Th' have betrayd and Perjured twice,
The Sacrament of Confirmation
To Fix 'em Constant to the Nation.

Wheedleing and Shaming at the best
Is but a kinde of Knavery in Jest.
As Gamsters Practice for their Exercise
The Liberal Arts of Cheating with tru dice.

In the Dark and Secret Passages
That ly between the other world and this,
One mortal Cheat's another of his Right,
As Burglares break houses in the Night,
And, at the wills and Pleasures of theyr mothers,
Transfer their Claimes, before th'are born, to others.

What should I do at Rome? I cannot Ly,
Or if a Book be Bad, Commend and Buy:

265

I understand no Mathematique Skill,
Nor can Prædict a Fathers Death, nor will.
Others can beare, what Leachers use to send
New marryd wives, and what the[y] say Commend:
I cannot Steal; nor give the Least Releife,
In Acting of a Robbery, t' a Thiefe:
And therefore Go alone, like one, that's maimd
Of his Right-hand, and for a Cripple Lamd.

Words are but th' outside of the minde
But all the Art is how 'tis lind.

266

INJUSTICE

Treachery and violence
Are Dutys, binde the conscience,
And such as no Man ought t' omit
When Providence makes way for it.

Murthers are bewayld and Pittyd
By those by whom they were Committed.

Ungratefull men do nere forgive
The bad they do, or good receive.

In little Trades more cheats and Lying
Are used in selling, then in buying;
But in the Great, unjuster dealing
Is used in buying, then in selling.

For Prejudice condemn's unheard
And still the worst Sense is preferd.

Many have been forcd to take
A Turn at Tybourn by mistake;
'Tis but an Error of the Court:
The Law is nere th' unjuster for't.

Men who change Sides have no concerns
For any, but to serve their Turnes.
And that b'ing don; th' have learnd one way
The Readier after to betray.

267

MODERN WAR

All Feates of Armes are now abridgd
To sieges, or to b'ing besieg'd.
And hee's the Formidablest Soldier
Who fly's (like Crows) the smel of Powder.
To digging up of Sceletons,
To make Brown Georges of the Bones.
It is not wearing Armes of Proofe
Lin'd through with Shirts of Male and Buff
But marching naked in the cold
That makes men valorous and bold;
Nor swords, nor Bullets, nor Bloudshed,
But stealing one anothers Bread
And eating nothing out of mode
But what's in Season Frog, or Toad.
All Blows are at the Belly aimd
Untill 'tis slain outright or maymd;
And one anothers motions watch
Only to ly upon the Catch.
To understand the Time, and Reason
When Toads, and vermine are in Season,
When Frogs come in, and what's the Cause
Why July Spiders make best sause;
As if the wars of Frogs and Mice
Had been of ours but Prophesies:
For greater Crowds are slaine of those
Then upon both sides now of Foes.
No feates of Armes are now in mode
But only living without Food,
Nor weapons handled but for show,
Disease and Famine are the Foe;
And he that against both is Proofe,
Can eate his Bootes and feed on Buff,
Is held impregnable in Armes,
And more, then shotfree made by Charmes.
They do not manage the Contest
By fighting, but by starving best;

268

And hee that's able to fast longest
Is sure in th' end to be the strongest.
He that can dine upon Mundungus,
Is held the valiants[t] man among us
And those the Formidablest Forces
That never mount but eat their Horses
And make 'em serve in th' expedition
For Cavalry and Amunition;
No Helmets now are in Request,
Nor Curacer, nor back, nor Brest;
Nor Armes of Proof accounted good
Because they will not serve for food.

Civil war, like letting-bloud
To voyd the Bad let's out the Good.

Fighting now is out of Mode,
And Stratagem, the only Roade,
Unless in th' out-of Fashion'd wars
Of Barbrous Turkes and Polanders.
They laugh at Fighting in the field
Till one Side Run away, or yeld,
But manage all a Safer way,
Like th' Ancient sword and Buckler play,
And Loyter out a whole Campaine
To forrage only, and Trepan.
All Feats of Armes are now Reduc'd
To Chowsing, or to being Chowsd;
And no Rencounters so Renownd
As those on wals or underground.
They fight not now to overthrow
But Gull, and Circumvent a Fo;
And watch all Smal Advantages,
As if they fought a Game at chess.
And he's approvd the most deserving,
Who longest can hold out at sterving,
Can make best Fricasies of Cats
------ of Frogs and mice and rats,
Potage of vermine, and Rhagoos
Of Trunks and Boxes, and old Shoos;

269

And those, who, like th' Immortal Gods,
Do never eate, have still the Ods.
------ All their warlike Stratagems
Are subtle ferring over Streames,
Or Playing at Bo-peep with Bridges,
Or Crawling under ground at Sieges,
Or swimming over deepest Channels
T' avoyd the Fo, like water Spaniels.

'Tis Strange; That wars, that Lay Pretence
To Piety, and Conscience,
Should more Inhumanly be wag'd
Then those on other Scores ingagd.

What Arms Defensive but a wal
Are Proof against a Canon-Ball
Or strong enough to make Resistance
Unles by keeping [at a] Distance?

270

COWARDISE

[Cowards]
Like Horses, do Heroique Acts,
Ingage by turning of their Backs,
And use the same Heeles, both for fight
With th' enemy, and persuite, or flight:
So with the same Armes kill and slay
And Rout the Fo and run away.

He that ore-comes himself, and runs
Do's more then he that takes great towns:
If evry man would save but one
No victory would ere be won:
For he that runs may fight again,
Which he can never do that's slain.

Battles but in fancy wag'd
With better Conduct are ingagd
Then bravest fights at Sea or land
Where Fortune has so great a hand.

A Sword Fish fights with greater Art
Because the warrior has no Heart.

Strong Reserves in War are plac't
To bear the Brunt of Danger last,
As Hangmen blind the eies and ty
The Hands of wretches doomd to dy.

He that is all Heart
Is kill'd with the least Prick in any Part,
And, therefore, ougt to have the greater care
In Fight than he, that has a lesser share.

271

HOPE

For greater Numbers have been lost by Hopes,
Then all the Magazins of Daggers, Ropes:
And other Amunitions of Despaire,
Were ever able to Dispatch, by Feare.

[Fears]
Do better offices to Human Nature
Then Hopes, that only humor us, and Flatter,
That all our Future Happiness Fore-stalls,
And Runs us out of it, before it Falls:
When all our Expectations are alloyd
And thrown away, before they are Injoyd:
While nothing our Fælicity's Indear's
Like that which falls among our Doubts, and Fears,
And in the miserablest of distress,
Improv's Attempts as Desprate, with success.
Succes that owns, and Justifys all Quarrels;
And vindicates Deserts of Hempe, with Lawrells.
Or but miscarry[i]ng in the Bold Attempt
Turnes wreaths of Lawrell back again, to Hemp.

272

FEARE

For Feare, and Fiends are Cussen-Germans
And Partners in the same Determents,
Apparreld in the same Disguise
Of Hornes and Tayles, and Sawcer eies.
Make Fancy Cut of[f] Child[r]ens Heads
Before they're Born, with sudden Dreads,
And more Impossibly, convey
The executed Part away.

Cowards, like Hot Iron Drencht,
Are hardend more, the more th'are quencht.

273

THEFT

'Tis Counted Cunning to Retrive
And find out by a Thief a Thiefe;
But nothing is more Sottish, then
To finde out thieves by honest men.

Crimes Punishd, like the weapon Salve
Heal up the wounds and Hurts they gave.

For as the Roman Souldiers once,
When they were Plundering of Towns,
And Robbing of their Churches; found
In one a Little hole i' th' Ground,
Which having greedily unclosd,
To finde out Treasure, they supposd
Was there conceald: out flew a Dampe
That spread Contagion through the Campe,
And suddenly strook many Dead;
From whence, by slow Degrees, it spread
From Place, to Place, til it Possest
All the wide world, from East to west:
So, when Rude Mortals boldly search
For Gain, and Plunder, in the Church,
And Sacrilegiously teare
Her Schismes wider then they were,
A Horrid Plague breaks out, that kills
The wretches first, and after fills
The whole world, like a General Floud
Of Desolation, war and Bloud.

Why should not Piety be made
As wel as Equity, a Trade?
And men get mony by Devotion
As wel as making of a Motion?
B' allowd to Pray upon Conditions
As well as Suiters in Petitions?

274

And in a Congregation Pray
No less then Chanc'ry for Pay?

A Roman Thief was not Affeard
To Scrape the Gold of Jupiter's own Beard;
And either shewd himself, t' have no Beliefe
In Thunder-bolts, or was a Desprate thief.

275

RELIGION

A Godly man that has servd out his Time
In Holiness; may set up any Crime;
As Schollers when th' have taken their Degrees
May set up any Faculty they Please,
Are free t' administer to Soul or Body
Although they never meant it for their Study.

The Greatest Saints and Sinners have been made
Of Proselytes of one anothers Trad[e].

'Tis Hard to understand a Proselyte
Distinctly, from a wholesale Hypocrite,
That one Religion for another trucks:
The money of all Fayths is orthodox
And lofty'st Steeples have Guilt wethercocks.

An Augur Scor'd Imaginary Lines
In Heaven, Proper for his own Designes
T' observe, and Note the Flight of any Bird
That in the Circle of his Scheme Appeared
And by the Computation understand
Th' Event of his Inquiry before hand.
When Egles, Hawks, and Vulturs on their wing[s]
Bore all the Interests and fates of Kings
A Daw, and Raven, and a Monedula
Foretold the Issu of a Suit in Law.

A Teachers Doctrine, and his Proof
Is all his Province, and enough,
But is no more concernd in use
The[n] Shoemakers to weare all shoes.

For to do
Is one thing, and to mean is two.

Th' Apostles were but Messengers,
And Angels Letter-Carryers,

276

But now a Saint's a Secretary,
That open's what they did but carry,
And has a Cipher to reveal
What they brought only under Seal.

Th' Apostate Jews, though zealous Brethren,
That worship'd th' Idols of the Heathen,
Were punishd by Idolaters
Profaner then themselves and worse.

A Convert's but a Fly that turns about,
After his Head's puld of[f], to finde it out.

The Saints, who had Designd to build upon
Th' Imperfect Model, of Old Babilon.
Had taught their Insignificantest Jabb[e]rers,
A Language worse then that of all their Labour[e]rs:
For 'twas confounding Languages Fore-run,
The Fatal Slavery of Babilon.
When Ignorance, and want of understanding,
Was all Reducd to Controversy, and Bandy[i]ng.
And vowd to settle Church, and Commonweal,
Upon Dissenting Principles of Zeale.
When all Pretenders venturd to Proscribe
The Rest, that were not of their Chosen Tribe:
And made 'em guilty Spiritual Bandittys,
Exild from all great Burrough-Towns and Citty[s]:
And Banishd them like Criminals, to Lurke
In Obscure Cottages to do their work.

The Good old Cause, Interpreters believe
To be the serpent, that had tempted Eve,
And taught her to tempt Adam out of Eden,
With godlike Gifts, and Fruit that was forbidden,
And when the Saints, began at first t' adore
Was Titled old, for what it did before
When all her Talent could not understand
But how to break themselvs, and one Command,
And ever since that time, do's still invite
The world to Disobedience with New light.
Whence Saints of all Religions, use t' exclame,
And one anothers Dispensations Damne:

277

Who once would have Admitted Presbyters,
Upon their Good-behavior, for three years:
But that there could no Common-Baite be found
That to such hard Conditions would be Bound;
By Rapine, Bloud, and Tyranny Profess
New ways, of Suffering for Righteousnes;
And by Revenge, and Insolence Propose
The Evangelique Course, of taking Blows:
For Pardons are Ill Characters of Saints,
As due to those, wee have don Il against.
And do but work, the same Effects; Reprievs
Are wont to do, upon the stubbornst Thieves:
Who apprehend, They have the Greater wrong,
Only because they are but Half-unhung;
And therefore understand the Grace, and Favour,
To be but Binding to the Good Behavior:
Which make's th' Afflicted wretches live in Paine,
Untill th' have don the Injury againe.
Which when an Opportunity falls out,
They never let a Moment slip to do't.
For when the Lashes of a Conscience smart,
Layd on severly by its own Desert,
The Guilty Suffrer thinks it comes from those,
From whom (he knows) He has deservd the Blows:
And still Abhor and hate 'em, more, and more,
The more th' have don them Injury before.
As Huntsmen use to chace the wounded Deare,
But those that have Receivd no Hurt, Forbeare;
For Zealous Men, must be Allowd
The Hot Distempers of their Bloud:
That is not calculated, for the Coole,
And Sober Temper of a Christian Rule;
Enough to make the Rigor of Devotion,
Keep within Compass of Abundant Caution,
But frequently is apt to loose his Credit,
For being Peremptory, and Hot-Headed;
When temper only has Supplyd the Place
Of all their High Prerogativs of Grace:
And that which once past for the word Reveal'd,
Is only now the old Dead Letter Held:

278

And that which was the Spiritual Light within one,
Reducd to Fancy only and opinion.

For the best Temperd Saints, are more Stiff-necked
Then all the Hottest-headed of the wicked,
Are Sons so Fierce, and Zealous of the Church,
Some Guess they were begotten in the Porch.
Have got themse[l]vs a General Reputation,
Of welth, and Zeal, and Numbers in the Nation:
By driving Proselyts like Head's of Beasts,
From other Churches, and their Interests:
For what else makes, a Richman's esteemd
So hard, and Difficult to be Redeemd,
But that th' have Mony, to lay down the Prices,
Of all the Dearst Iniquitys, and vices?
And tho the Cause profanely did Propose
To take up Arms, for holy Purposes,
That Scruple Awd th' Erroneous Rabble more
Then all the Right of Just, and Lawfull Powr:
As Post appeare t' have Spurs, and Switches, worse
Then those that gen[t]ly Ride a Startled Horse.

For Gifted men, in little Benefices,
Use to conform, according to the Prices:
Like him, who lately venturd to Ingross
A Parish Church, and Conventicle House;
Read Common Prayr, and after Preachd it downe,
And hid his Surples underneath his Gown:
Which some Free Consciencd Saints, affirmd hee wore,
And to trepan the Visitation, swore:
Untill in Contemplation of the oath,
And Impious fraud, He was turnd out of both.
For Zealous Saints are but Probationer[s],
That have but once Incurd the Loss of Eares:
But have not don their usuall exercise
Untill they have Betrayd, and Perjurd, twice,
The solemne Sacrament of Confirmation
To fix Perfidiousnes upon the Nation.
Abhord to Read the Common-Prair, as vaine,
And Superstitious, Popish, and Profane:

279

But Really, because th' have no Occasions,
By Spelling, to Hold-forth their Dispensations:
And th' Ablest of their Brethren, have no shifts,
For Setting off the Meanest, of their Gifts.
As if they were but such Notorious Knaves,
In Nature, as they use to make their Braves;
Before their Extraordinary conversions,
And turning th' Inside outward of the[i]r Persons:
Tho some are Confident, 'Tis but to Raise
Their own cooperating work of Grace:
Whose Gifts are not to be confided in,
Where Nature was so Influencd by Sin.
That never has been known to Quit the least
Puntilio, wholly of her Interest.

For Zeal is only Proper to Imbroyle,
To overturne, Disorder, and to Spoyle,
But has no Temper, Jugment, nor Discretion,
To manage things of Consequence in Reason;
But roote, and Branch, at Random, to demolish
Unsight, unseen; and Cross, or Pile abolish.
For Sober Reason, takes to Complesance,
No less then Pertinacy, t' Ignorance:
And as a Crutch, or wooden Leg, is stiffer
Then one that has its Natrall Joynts, they Differ:
That b'ing in Orders, to Divide the world,
Was after to Divide the Church Impourd:
And gave no Quarter to the Carnall, vaine,
The Naturall, and Morall, or Profane;
But always Prov'd abhominably shy
At Taking Notice of Hypocrisy,
For feare their Hands should slip, and hit upon
These Natural Endowments, of their owne.
As if the Brethren did not mean to win
By fair Means, Heavn, but rather take it in:
And therefore, like the Antique Gyants, Arme
To fall by onslaught, on the Place, and Storme
Had rather venture Force, and violence
Then any other way before, or since:
For all New lights avoyd the Beaten Path

280

To Heav'n; Good works, and Charity, and Faith.
Whose Piety, and Zeal to send a Martyr,
T' æternity's so great, they give no Quarter:
For were not swords, and Daggers, and Edg-tools
The only means, to save Th' Apostles Soules?

The Turks that have such gentle Tendernesses,
For Brutish Animals, of evry Species:
Are by their false Religion, taught t' have none,
But Naturall Defyance to their own.
Who when th' have payd, the Ransom of a Bird,
Wil perjure, to have Christians Massacerd.
Where Charity, and Cruelty are Drest,
And in their Native Types at once exprest.

Religion once was wrapt-up in Disguise
Of mystique Fables, and Mythologies;
But Modern Nonsense, without Parables,
Pass Muster in Religious Shape, and zeales:
Is like the Indian River-Fish, that's sed
To have a Magot breeding in his head,
And therefore Natrally 's observd, to stem
His constant Directly against the Streame.

No Phrygian Turk durst ever Counterfet
Or Try to Act the Part, of Mahomet,
Assumd his Borrowd Person, in Disguise,
Upon his New Return from Paradice,
With tru, or False Pretences, to maintaine
His Antient Promise, to Come back againe:
When Jews, and Christians, or some counted such,
In evry Age have undertooke as much
That more then twelve Messiases at least,
Have ownd the sacre[d] Function, and Profest:
That 'tis a Miracle, wee have no more,
But Nayler, to set up, upon that Score:
Enough to settle Infamy, and shame,
Upon the Christian Interest, and Name:
But that Fanatiques have been found t' attone,
And blot out all, with what themselvs have don.

281

For Saints are too transcendent and Sublime
To be suspected, but to own a Crime;
And when 'tis Acted, like a modern Saint
Not ask a Pardon for it, but maintain't.
Impenitence keep's up their Reputation,
As if they never had deservd th' occasion.

The Preachers in the Prologue of a Prayr,
Turn Sins to Gifts, and tell how great they are.
For 'tis the greatest Signe of Gifts, and Graces
To Magnify their Sins, by varying P[h]rases.
And he that dos it, with the Greatest Art
Is held a Man, of Singular Desert.

Men take up Religion, just
As they do other things on trust:
'Tis all one at how hard a Rate
To those who never meane to pay't.

The Church of Rome bende's Heretiques
With Flames of Fire, like Crooked Sticks.
And transubstanciat's them with Tricks
To zealous Fire-new Catholicks.
So Chymists transubstantiate
Base Mettles in the Fire to Plate.

Religion is the Interest of Churches
That sel in other worlds, in this to Purchase.

Good workes are nothing but to give,
And merit only to Relieve.

The Antient Pagans kept their Chequers
Securd in temples from their own Church-breakers
More safe, then Christians can, the Poorman Box,
Tho Double Fortifyd, with Plats and Locks.

Our Blessed Savior never did Discover
To his Disciples, what he was to suffer,
Who therefore strove to Præposses th' Injoyments
In his New Kingdom, of the best Imployments.

282

ZEAL

No seard Conscience is so fel
As that which has been burnt with zeal;
For Christian Charity's as well
A great Impediment to Zeal
As Zeal a Pestilent Disease
To Christian Charity and Peace.

Who did ever know a Saint
That Acted th' Horridst Crime Recant?
Their Priviledg is too sublime
To condescend to own a Crime,
Who Count it a Disparagment
To be but thought to need Repent.

Hypocrisy will serve as well
To Propagate a Church, as Zeal;
As Persecution and Promotion
Do Equally Advance Devotion:
So Round white Stones wil serve, they say,
As wel as Egs to make hens lay.

283

CRUELTY

For the first Murther that we finde
Was ere Committed by Mankind
By zealous Rage, and Fury, about
Religious worship first fell out;
When fierce Cain having kild his Brother
One fourth of Mankind slew the other.
And ever since an æqual Rate
Of all the world has had that Fate.
For when a Gap was made for Sin
Mad Zeal, and murther first broke in.

284

CONSCIENCE

For wise and Cautious Consciences
Are Free to take what course they please.
Have Plenary Indulgence, to Dispose
At Pleasure of the strictest vows,
And Chaleng Heavn they made 'em to,
To vouch and witness what they do.
And when they prove averse and loath,
Yet for convenience take an Oath;
Not only can dispense, but make it
A greater Sin to keep, then take it;
Can binde and loose all Sorts of Sin,
And only keepe's the keys within;
Has no Superior to Controul,
But what it selfe sets ore the Soule;
And, when it is injoyn'd t' obey,
Is but Confin'd, and keepe's the key;
Can walk invisible, and where,
And when, [and] how it will, appeare;
Can turn it selfe into Disguises
Of all sorts, for all sorts of vices;
Can transubstantiate, Metamorphose,
And Charme whole Heards of Beasts, like Orpheus;
Make woods, and Tenements, and Lands
Obey, and follow it's Commands,
And settle on a New Freehold,
As Marcly-Hill, removd of old;
Make mountaines move with greater force,
Then Faith, to New Proprietors;
And perjure to secure th' Injoyments
Of Publique Charges, and Imployments:
For True, and Faithfull, Good and Just
Are but Preparatives to Trust,
The Guilt, and Ornament of things
And not their Movements, wheels, and Springs.

How many Offices, and Places
Would salve a Conscience in all Cases!

285

Hence 'twas he raysd his Price so high
That what one Place before would buy
Now all together in a Lump
Would not Come up to his Accompt.
For He Reducd all things to Trade,
And both for right, and wrong was payd.

Conscience is a Damnd Lampooner,
That Feares no Court of Law, nor Honor.

Because a Feeble Limb's Carest,
And more Indulgd then all the Rest;
So frayle and tender Consciences
Be humord to do what the[y] please;
When that, which Go's for weak and Feeble,
Is found the most Incorrigible,
To outdo all the Fiends in Hel
With Rapine, Murther, Bloud and Zeal.

Tender Conscience, Th' half-stervd Snake,
Which those that in their Bosoms take
To cherish, are Rewarded for't
And stung with Gratitude to th' Hart.

286

FANATIQUES

Saints of A Negative Profession
Like Independent Sense, and Reason.
A Mungrell Sect that has its Being
From nothing else, but Disagreeing:
Containes as many Diffrent Sects
As Pillorys Fit Sevrall Necks.

Fanatiques hold the Scripture do's not bar
The Bearing of False witnes, for
A Spiritual Neighbor, but against:
For only that's forbid the Saints.
When some, among 'em, have had cals
To sweare for Brethren, tru, or False
That have been Bred up by the Saints
To sweare, without the least Restraints,
Which when it do's not Reach to Bloud
Weighs nothing with the Brotherhood.

Like other malefactors, only heed
Religions, that the Laws o' th' Land forbid.

[A Brother]
Who strayns so hard upon a Poynt
Untill his Bones are out of Joynt,
And, when his sermons don and Prayr,
Is Rubd down like a Tennis-Player.

Why should not Handicrafts be made
A Church, as wel, as that a Trade?
Are Holders-forth, or Presbyters
The worse for turning Usurers?
Or Was John ere the worst Divine
For Selling Ale, and Cakes, or wine?
Or do's a Cuntry Vicar Preach
False Doctrine, when he turns a Leach?
And makes it equally his Study
T' Administer to Soul, and Body?

287

And keep's his Parishes Glebe Lands
Without Compounding, in his Hands?
And should not shopkeepers as wel
B' allowd to teach and buy and sel?
Or in the Belfrey keep a School,
Without neglecting of one Soul?

People of such eternal Lungs,
And indefatigable Tongues,
That, though no Motive is so able,
As Creature-comforts on a Table,
T' engage them to put mod'rate stints
Unto their spiritual Gifts, and Hints;
Yet, if the Grace be not begun,
Before the Dinner is laid down,
It will be burnt, and cold agen,
Ere they come half way to Amen.
For Kings as well may lay Embargo
Upon the heav'nly good Ship Argo
As think by Laws to put restraint
Upon the workings of the Saints.

288

PRELATES

That make the Grace of God Create a Prince
But smallest Prælats, Divine Providence,
And all of Th' order Lord's Spiritual call
In meare Distinction from the Temporall,
Altho their Honors are Intaild upon
Their Families, when they themselvs have none:
Would make a King believe, Hee's a Phantastique
Mixt Person, Laique and Ecclesiastique;
And, when they could not Render Prælats Princes,
Made Princes Priests, to serve them for Pretences.

The Roman Emprors, in their Hands at Home
Preservd the Chief Epi[s]copacy of Rome;
And had soe Absolute a Jur[i]sdiction,
Their greatest Lawes were nothing but Rescription:
But when some weake ones gave that Powr the Pope,
The East, and west was lost beyond all Hope.

All Revrend Persons never use to stick
At Marriage, but for an Archbishopprick.

289

POPERY

The Pope himself allows a licencd Sinner,
No more for once, then servs to buy her Dinner.

[Priests]
Are by their Lady votaries, with the Best
Of all their Curiositys, carest,
And when th' are searcht for, meet with no Anoyance
But feeding upon Sweet-meats i' th' Conveyance.

The Images of Saints, like Easops Logs,
Are thrown from Heaven down to Govern Frogs.

The Romish Priests, and Turkish Janizarys
Are both Supply'd with Christian Seminarys;
Who have no Lawfull Issue of their own
T' uphold the Legend, or the Alchoron:
Yet, by the Great Conformity between
The Roman-Clergy, and the Musselmen,
Will not Allow their Churches to Consist
Of Mungrels, gotten by a Turk, or Priest:
For Jesuits and Turks Improve the Breed
Of both their Sects, by changing of the Seed.

The Pope, that Lay's his Title, and Pretence,
T' Infallibility, has the Least of Sense:
Is faine t' avoyd a Street, in Rome, for Dread,
Of being turnd t' a whore, and brought to Bed:
By virtu only, of th' Infallible Chair
To get the Church, upon himself, an Heir.

Who first set Townes on Fire For Heretiques
Till Canon-Law th' Inhabitants convicts.

An old Religion, nothing but a Mode,
Far-fet from Hence, and too Deare bought abroad.
Which would have brought the Interlopers in
Too Rich a trade of Slavery and Sin.
That were Resolv'd to turn the Devils Tenants,
And take to Farme of him, a Sinners Penance.

290

To pay down all their Rents upon, their Skins,
To him, and his Joynt Purchacer of Sins.
According to the Custome of the Manner
Which all his Native vassels hold by Tenure
And first Receivd from the Fanatique Jews
That put the Reformation first in use.
For Popery with us was but in Type,
Before the Greatst Impietys grew Ripe
When in th' excess, and Fulnes of Deboshing,
It was Declar'd and Publish'd for Devotion.
Have Fairs and Mercats, of all Sorts of Tradesmen
Fryres, Hermits, Munks, and Seculars, and Beads-men,
The most Deplorable of all those Dunces
That strove t' Import Religion from beyond Seas.
For Roman Pænitents are wont to play
The Guilt of all their Pænances away;
Where He that looses, freely takes the Sins
Upon his own Accompt, of him, that wins,
And is content to lay the Heavyst Sack
Of others consciences, upon his Back.

The Roman Mufty, with his Triple crowne,
Do's both the Earth, and Hell, and Heaven Owne:
Besides th' Imaginary Territory
He lay's his Title to, In Purgatory;
Declares himselfe, an Absolute Free Prince
In his Dominions, only over Sins.
But as for Heav'n (since it Ly's so far
Above him) is but only Titular.
And, like his Cross-Keiys-Badge upon a Taverne,
Has nothing there, to tempt, command or Govern.
Yet when he come's, to take Accompt, and share
The Profit of his Prostituted ware,
He findes his Gaines Increse, by Sin and women,
Above his Richest Titular Dominion.

A Jubile, is but a Spiritual Fair,
T' expose to Sale, all Sorts of Impious ware;
In which his Holynes buy's nothing in,
To stock his Magazins, but Deadly Sin,

291

And Deale's in extraordinary Crimes
That are not vendible at other times;
For Dealing both for Judas, and th' High Priest,
He makes a Plentifuller Trade of Christ.
Can transubstantiate stamps of Lead or Brass
And into gold turn Paltry Beads of Glass.
For all the Horriblest Impieties
Do never fayl to Flock to Jubilies.

That Spiritual Pattern of the Church, Noahs Arck,
In which the Antient world did once Imbark,
Had nere a Helme in't to direct it's way,
Altho bound through an universal Sea:
When all the Modern Church of Rome's Concern
Is nothing else, but in the Helm, and Sterne.

An Antient French Pope chose himself, his Heir,
And made the Nation Conclave to the Chaire:
When all their Anti-Holynesses strove
To stand for Antichrist, the next Remove.

As He, that with Colonna, cuft a Fray;
Was Routed in the fight, and born away:
And eate his Fingers for th' Affront he had
Receivd in Fight, until he dy'd starck-mad.

[The Pope]
By Chymique Transubstantiation turn's
To Crowns of Gold, one Crown of thorns,
And wear's them ore three words, instead
Of ne're a Place to Rest his Head.

When the Jews had kild the Heir,
Priests took Th' Inheritance to share.

There's no Cheat in al the world nor Trick
But has a Twang, and Smack, o' th' Catholique.

What numerous Ly's and Errors did the Days
Of Popery, among the Rabble Raise!

292

As Friers in their Long Capouches
Store up their Privat Close Deboches
And weare them on their Backs behind
As out of Sight as out of minde.

As in the Church of Rome, to go to shrift
Is but to put a Soul on a New shift.

The Greatest Complements are Found most False
As Cardinals that visit Cardinals
Are stript in Querpo, really to know
If they have Armes under their Robes or no,
And al their Counterfet Civility[s]
Are nothing else but [t'] avoyd Surprize,
But in Pretence, to let them understand
They are at Home, and all things there Command.

A Papist
Is but an Ignorant, Implicit Atheist,
That thinks to be Relig[ious] without Piety,
And Eats, instead of worshiping the Deity,
As Woolsy Puld down many a Monastery
To build a Church to Christ and his own Glory.

Jesuits are taught obedience
Before they'r sufferd to Learn Impudence,
And Counterfet a Sheepish Look before
They come to set for wolvs up, and Devour.

Their Leaving of[f] the Habits of the Brothers
And wearing those they Please, of any others;
Their Living out of Covents, Free and Cleare,
From any thing, that's Rigid, and Severe,
Their Arbitrary Intrest, [and] Dominion
Ore other mens Concernments, and their women,
Makes some in taking Orders, not so Nice,
As Possibly they might have been, otherwise.

Some zealous Men in orders more Confirms
Tho Probably th' had been on other tearms.

293

GLUTTONY

A wretch ingendred in his food,
As French Punayses are in wood,
That ows his Being to his Guts,
As Magots breed in Cheese or Nuts,
Spawnd at the Mouth, as Fishes Breed,
And formd for nothing but to feed.
Had eate his Head out in a Trice,
Like Adam out of Paradice.
More Greedy then the Pox that swallow's
So many Mortals; or the Gallows,
That in a Quarter of an hour
Cart-loads of Sinners can devour.

As thousands are Distroyd by Surfet:
For evry one that's found to sterv yet.
That with their Glutony feed their other Sins,
As Serpents use to cast, and eate their Skins.

294

TIME

Time Allow's the shortest measure,
And Deale's with falsest weights, in Pleasure:
Steale's th' Idle, and it selfe, away,
And is the Greatest Cheate, in Play.

There are no Vizard-Masks, nor Fans,
To keep Age from a Countenance.

Time made Truth (like Elnor at Queen Hythe)
Sinke under Ground, for Feare to Spoyle his Syth:
For, thoug[h] at once it mow down Age and Youth,
It turn's Edge, when it ventures upon Truth.