University of Virginia Library

To the vulgar Censurers.

If my ill-tuned Rimes content the wise,
Whose deeper iudgements I desire to please,
Let not the ruder sort be so precise,
That (Critticke seeming) cannot censure these.
I write not to the rusticke Rabblement,
Nor fawne vpon the curious kinde of men,
But hold it more then bootlesse labour spent
To begge their poore applause; nor care I then
If such repine, whose enuy cannot hurt,
Though like a raging Sea they foame their durt.

[My honest friends that reades, I you beseech]

My honest friends that reades, I you beseech
To make the best construction of each letter;
And not to blame my lauishnesse of speech,
In paying soundly where I am a debter:
My word and credit else you should infringe,
Which was to catch the Woodcock in a Springe.

[Liber Unus]

1Crispati erines, Plumæ, dant calcar amori.

Why is young Anas thus with feathers dight?
And on his shoulder wears a dangling lock:
The one foretels he'l sooner flie then fight;
The other showes hee's wrapt in's mothers smock.
But wherefore wears he such a Iingling spur?
Oh, he deales oft with Iades that will not stur.

2Pari ïugo sociantur Asini.

Cothurnios thinks he hath the rarest wit,
That any selfe-conceit can glory in;
Doe but applaud him, and you are as fit
Vnto his purpose as an Asse to's skin:
Marke if to Paules the Gallant be not gone,
You seldome there see one foole walke alone.

3Consuetudo, lex.

Two wooers for a vvench were each at strife,
Which should enioy her to his wedded wife:
Quoth th' one, shee's mine, because I first her saw,
Shee's mine, quoth th' other, by Pye-corner law;
Where, sticking once a Prick on what you buy
It's then your owne, which no man must deny.

4Ingrata Gratia.

Grace , I confesse, she hath a comely face,
Good hand and foote, as answerable to it:
But whats all this except she had more grace?
Oh, you will say, tis want that makes her doe it.
True: want of grace indeed; the more her shame,
Disgrace by nature, onely Grace by name.

5Quo maior, peior.

Lætus , that late a great Deuine did meet,
Would, iesting, needs presume his health to greet,
Who (not offended) told him he was well:
Lord then, quoth Lætus, see what lyes men tell,
Last day I was abroad, where I did heare
Your Worship hath beene speechlesse all this yeare.

6Magnis fortuna nocet.

Two Knights in London (the Tearme being ended)
Would of a Scriuener borrow fifty pound:
Who said, by him they could not be befriended
Unlesse a Citizen with them were bound:
For, quoth the Scriuener, thus much vnderstand,
The men we trust haue eyther goods or Land.

7Videantur quæ non sunt.

Saltus goes booted to the dauncing schoole,
As if from thence his meaning were to ride;
But Saltus says they keepe his legs more coole,
And which for ease he better may abide:
Tut, that's a cold excuse. It rather seem'd
Saltus silke stockings were not yet redeem'd.

8Umbras non scelus metuit.

Mistresse Marina starts to see a Frog,
A naked Rapier, or a creeping Mouse;
To heare a Gun, a barking mastiue Dog,
Or smell Tobacco that defiles her house,
To taste of Fish no man aliue shall woe her,
Yet feares she not what flesh can doe vnto her.

9Saltem videretur.

A Welshman and an Englishman disputed,
Which of their lands maintain'd the greatest state;
The Englishman the Welshman quite confuted,
Yet would the Welshman nought his brags abate,
Ten Cooks (quoth he) in Wales one Wedding fees:
True, quoth the other, each man tosts his Cheese.

10Latet aliquid intus.

Mistresse Mallina waxeth ill at ease,
And keepes her Bed, sicke of a burning feuer:
But shee's perswaded tis some worse disease,
And that the foolish Doctor doth deceiue her;
For why? shee feeles it shooting in her bones,
That griping puts her to most grieuous grones.

11Naturam expellere durum.

Profuso borrowes, but ne'er payes againe,
(A custome he hath kept e'er since his Cradle)
Although you binde him in an Iron chaine.
Can any man pay debts more then hee's able?
Fore God not he. Let Nouerints sinke or swim,
Hee'l sooner deale with Kate, though she pay him.

12Tempora præsagit Uenus.

Kate , for a need, deales in Astronomie,
And can of times and things prognosticate;
For as they vse vpon their backes to lie,
And censure of the weathers changing state;
So she (her body laid) can prophesie
Whether it shall proue colde, hot, moyst, or dry.

13Sensus falluntur ineptè.

VVat told his wife she closely plaid the whore,
For, ipso facto, he himselfe espide it
From forth the key-hole of the chamber dore:
But she regardles to his teeth denide it
Saying, Thou Rascall, wilt beleeue thine eyes
Before thy Wife, that in thy bosome lyes?

14Improbè Neptunum accusat qui bis naufragium fecit.

Svsan hath sworne to deale no more on trust,
What shift so euer she be forst to make her;
For such as promise most in heat of lust
Will least performe (saith Susan) but forsake her:
And can ye blame her then? iudge those that know it,
Twice to be got with childe and no man owe it?

15Ingluuiem sequitur fames.

Cvrio would feed vpon the daintiest fare,
That with the Court or Countrie might compare;
For what lets Curio that hee need to care,
To frolick freely with the proud'st that dare.
But his excesse was such in all things rare,
As he proou'd bankerout ere he was aware.

16Omnis vicessitudo grata.

Parnell accompts it deepest pollicie,
To shift her lodging euery month at least;
Tis strange you should demand the reason why,
Are not her Clyents thereby more increast?
Besides, her yeares and actions yet in prime,
That els might proue a Baude before her time.

17Nunquam saturata libido.

Lvcas so long lies surfetting in's Bed
As seldome it permits him rise to dinner
Vntill his lustfull appetite be fed,
Whiles hee's consorting with some femall sinner,
Whom hackney-like he hires from night till noone,
And turnes her off his iourney being done.

18Spreta tamen viuunt.

Iocunda is become an idle liuer,
Supported by the bounties of so many
As may be thought the fault is in the giuer,
Then pitty twere she be releiu'd by any.
And yet you'l say, if there were none to giue,
How should such creatures as Iocunda liue?

19Non omnia possumus omnes.

Fvscus forgets since first he was a Clarke,
And (now I thinke on't) well he might doe so,
That had of learning but so little sparke:
Should he remember what he did not know?
No matter (Fuscus) halfe t'hexchequer knowes thee,
That now so ancient shall not need to poze thee.

20Sequitur vestigia matris.

Tis maruail'd much how Martha holds it out,
That's thought to haue so little commings in,
Pish, none that knowes her duely makes that doubt:
Besides, she comes not of so base a kin,
For though her father were of Gentry wide,
Shee's borne a mad wench by the mothers side.

21Quantum mutatus ab illo.

Pedes growne proud, makes men admire thereat,
Whose baser breeding should (they think) not beare it,
Nay he on Cock-horse rides, hovv like you that?
Tut Pedes prouerbe is, win gold and weare it:
But Pedes you haue seene them rise in hast,
That through their pride haue broake their neckes at last.

22Malum commune priuatum incendium.

Hellen of Troy, was held a wondrous Woman,
(If all things wondrous be which vve admire)
Yet neuer was she knowne so wondrous common,
Though gainst her will, she caus'd that vvondrous fire:
But wondrous is our Hellens more mistrust,
That kindles thousands with her fire of lust.

23Modò diues, pessimus vocetur.

Prauus th' Atturny prooues himselfe to blame,
By taking, as tis said, excessiue fees;
But his excuse is others doe the same,
Which else for want of asking they should leese:
Tut, who is he but scandall may depraue,
That twice was vnder-Shreiue and yet no K.?

24Sat, si formosa Camilla.

Camilla hath a faire and pleasing face,
But it's as common as her conuersation,
She like esteemes your praise as her disgrace,
That with a poxe bids farewell reputation;
For shee'l maintaine the course she first began,
To sweare, carowse, or lye with any man.

25Vritur omnis Amor.

I Wonder Petrus lookes so paily on it,
Whose late resemblance seem'd of sanguine hue?
You shall not need (Sir) question much vpon it,
Tis too well knowne how (with a poxe) it grew:
Twas ne'er yet sound with him since first he swore,
To loue Rebecca that polluted ------

26Domi parcus, foras prodigus.

VVhen Toruus seldome sups or dines abroad,
He seemes more curious then the best at table,
And with the daintiest dishes layes on load,
Although it cost him more then's meanes is able:
Thus at one meale himselfe the Buzard robs,
That basely feedes at home on hearing-cobs

27Nummorum impensas, non Veneris luxum fugit.

Gafridus growne a flincher now of late,
Mongst his Comrages (as men he neuer knew)
Will henceforth (sweares) those cursed courses hate;
And truely learne to lead his life anew,
For proofe whereof and to auoyd such cost,
He keepes him onely to one Wench at most.

28Ingenium, ventris amor, et pocula lædunt.

VVhy should not Procus haue a pregnant vvit,
That hath so many proofes thereof profest,
I see no reason much should hinder it,
Hee's rich inough, and fareth of the best:
Drinckes as good liquor as is made of malt,
But vvith his meat he eates too little Salt.

29Quis tantiemeret pœnitentiam?

Simplex , a Citizen was guld of late,
Who sporting scarce a minute with his wench,
Bought his repentance at so deare a rate,
As ere he could the Panders fury quench
Was forst through coward feare, to pay the shot,
Which might ensue that Simplex neuer got.

30Quam sequimur deteriora.

Laurentius hath of Ladies long beene lou'd,
But he Adonis-like regards them not,
Nor by their best inticements can be mou'd,
And yet an issue of his loynes hath got:
By whom thinke you? some beautious Nimph at least:
To tell you true by Ioane his kitchin-Beast.

31Undicta vim sequitur.

Kit being kickt and spurn'd pursues the Law.
That doom'd the damage at twice forty-pence,
Which vvhen the partie that had vvrong'd him savv,
Thought t'was too great a fine for such offence,
Why then (quoth Kit) if I too much request,
Thou maist at any time kick out the rest.

32Sic Iupiter olim.

VVhen Siluio seekes a broad for Venery,
He sutes him euer in some strange disguise,
And like the Lapwing farthest off doth flye,
That none his dwelling know in any wise:
Hath he not reason to be close and fearing,
That iustice giues for others good abearing?

33Opinio maior veritate.

VVhat tell you Grosus now of Grammer rules,
That hath a Chequer-clarke so long beene bred,
As good you question him of Mares, or Mules,
As poze him in a thing he neuer read:
And yet your clyents stoope with cap and knee,
To some (God wot) as scuruey Clarkes as he.

34Turpe lucrum Ueneris,

VVill in a wilfull humour needes would wed
A wench of wonder: but without a Stocke,
Whose fame no sooner through the street was spred,
But thither straight our chiefest Gallants flocke:
Put case she's poore: brings she not chapmen on?
I hope his Stock may serue to graft vpon.

35Fronts nulla fides.

Cantus , that woolward went, was wondred at,
Which he excus'd as done through meere contrition,
But who so simple (Cantus) credits that?
Tis too well knowne thou art of worse condition:
And therefore if no linnen thee begirt,
The naked truth will proue thou hast no shirt.

36Lucri bonus odor.

Faber , not fond or iealous of his wife,
(Though nere so faire) from no mans sight restrain her
For well he knowes t'would proue a hellish life,
Besides the want of that which oft it gaines her:
Taking no knowledge then they come for sinne,
Sayes, Please ye enter Sirs? my Wif's within.

37Magnis sors ausibus obstat.

Mounseir le Graund, is hence from London gon,
On vrgent businesse that concernes him neere,
And more disturbs him but to thinke vpon,
Then any suddaine chance that came this yeere:
Which might haue wrought his vtter dissolution,
Had he not scap'd that scuruy Execution.

38Curiorum Bacchanalìa.

Paulinus poasteth euery day to Powles,
But not to pray: that holds he out of fashion,
From whence returning, to some Tauerne troules,
Where of his sinnes he makes more due relation:
And calling most to minde the Scriueners band,
He then bethinkes him Domes-day is at hand.

39Uoluisse satis, si non datur vltra.

Behold yon Greene-goose in his hauking suite,
That's booted still a month before he rides,
To vrge the reason were but vaine dispute,
Ther's no man liuing knowes all times and tides:
What can he more then pawne his scarffe and sword
And yet the Ostler will not take his word.

40Quod amamus laudamus.

Marcus maintaines it boldly with his pen,
And will approue it by Philosophy,
That greatest Clarkes are not the wisest men,
(And therein shewes you many reasons why:)
Amongst the rest not least considerate,
Brings his defence from Tom the Coryate.

41Suum cuique pulchrum.

Posthumus not the last of many more,
Askes why I writ in such an idle vaine,
Seeing there are of Epigrams such store,
Oh, giue me leaue to tell thee once againe,
That Epigrams, are fitted to the season
Of such as best know how to make rime reason.

42Fama Mendax.

Report thou sometimes art ambicious,
At other times too sparing couetous,
But many times exceeding enuious,
And out of time most diuellish furious:
Of some or all of these I dare compound thee,
But for a lyar haue I euer found thee.

43Quid non ebrietas.

Rubin reports his Mistrisse is a Punck,
Which being told her, was no whit dismaid,
For sure as death (quoth she) the villain's drunck,
And in that taking knowes not what he said:
T'was well excus'd: but oft it comes to passe,
That true we finde In Vino veritas.

44Ex Nihilo nihil.

T'wer wondrous, Niger should so long neglect
To take a Wife, either for wealth or wit,
But that t'was knowne he had some close defect,
Which from his very rising hindred it:
For what to women most content should bring,
Was flatly found in him to proue no Thing.

45Nescit modum rationis expers.

VVhen late Bartellus wife began to breed,
She long'd for Crabs, and Dagger-Pudding-pyes;
Next time on pickeld Oysters must she feed,
All which, and more, her carefull husbands buyes,
So oft she longs for sundry dainty things,
As all is spent er' she her bastard Brings.

46Non penna, sed vsus.

Caius accompts himselfe accurst of men,
Only because his Lady loues him not:
Who (till he taught her) scarce could hold her pen,
And yet hath since another Tutor got.
Caius it seemes thy skill she did but cheapen,
And meanes to try him at another weapon.

47Pari iugo dulcis tractus.

VVil and his wife so well loue one another,
As oft their strife is which would first be dead;
Meane while (the better to partake with other)
Lye closely kissing all day long a bed:
For so their fancies both iumpe on the nick,
He cals her Cunny, she him little Prick.

48Manus manum fricat.

Cæcus indebted, wants wherewith to pay,
Vnto mine Host; but doth therewith appeale
To his kinde Hostise, crauing longer day:
That with her euer yet did kindely deale,
For let her speake (quod Cæcus) iust and truely,
She cannot say, but I haue payd her duely.

49Opus & Vsus.

Opus for need consum'd his wealth apace,
And ne'er would cease vntill he was vndone;
His brother Vsus liu'd in better case
Then Opus did, although the eldest sonne:
Twas strange it should be so; but here was it,
Opus had all the Land, Vsus the Wit,

50Posse non velle, virum nobilitat.

Festus could finde in's heart to eat good cheere,
To weare rich garments, and conuerse with Earles,
To reuell it with the best, and domineere
Amongst the choisest and most sweetest Girles.
But this (quoth Festus) feeles to him a curse,
To finde in's heart, and cannot finde in's purse.

51Vulgaria sperno.

Some maruaile why these Epigrams I write,
To one proportion, limit me confines;
As if I could no more nor lesse indite,
But iust the measure of so many lines
To answere such as therein thinke I erre,
Spite of their spleene I will be singuler.

52Dulce lenimen, miseriarum?

Raucus restraind of libertie, lies by it,
But therewith is resolu'd to take no care:
For Raucus reckons not who ere espie it,
So long as there are yet some chincks to share,
Let Fortune doe the worst that she can doe him,
If but his Doll, that dainty Duck come to him.

53O tempora, O mores.

Sam sayes this new world differs from the old,
Who knowes not that? there's no man can deny it:
Victuals were nere so deare, nor loue so cold,
The matter is, we want wherewith to buy it.
But (Sam) thou neuer yet couldst heare or see,
That beggers were more proud then now they be.

54Regina pæcunia quid non?

Nummus subborn'd a Counsellor on his part,
Gainst Innocence that knew not what to speake;
But free in Conscience had a cheerefull hart:
And yet constrain'd, his minde at length did breake
Vnto him, saying, Sir, you play the Poet,
That know the truth, yet will not seeme to know it.

55Veniunt spectentur vt ipsi.

VVhen yong Rogero goes to see a play,
His pleasure is you place him on the Stage,
The better to demonstrate his aray,
And how he sits attended by his Page,
That onely serues to fill those pipes with smoke,
For which he pawned hath his riding Cloke.

56Sic ars diluditur arte.

A Sarient that a Seruing man arrested,
Bad him bring Bayle, or else to prison goe,
Which, to procure on's word, the man requested,
And left his Ring as in deposito:
The Sarieant hauing staid till Sun had set,
Was forst (as Fortune would) to pay the debt.

57Naturam Ducem sequimur.

Mestus growne dull and dead through discontent:
But if his Trull, that sees him sotted, say,
How cheere you Syr? or is impatient
Of her dispatch, and sweares she will not stay,
Oh, then hee'l rouze himselfe, and gins to fall
Vnto his busines, like a naturall.

58Rediculæ admirationis facetum responsum.

Lanius that Iate a load of Calues did bring,
Vpon his horse through Fleet-street to his dore,
Was of a Studient thought so strange a thing,
As if he nere had seene the like before:
When boldly Lanius (looking backe) replide,
Ther's many a Calfe (Syr) doth on horsebacke ride.

59Conscius ipse sibi, &c.

Reader , perhaps thou think'st I aime at thee,
Yes, much: to meane a man I doe not know?
Besides I hope thou neuer iniur'dst me,
Then t'wer vnlikely (faith) it should be so:
But as by chance the blind-man takes the Hare,
So may I hit thee ere I am aware.

60Male agens, odit lucem.

Dorus disdaines those verses he compos'd,
Should to the presse or publike view be brought,
Least greater matter be thereby disclos'd,
Then euer yet before was done or thought:
Prouided alwaies you may see him drunck,
Spend, sport, or spue, with any Shoredich Punck.

61Inuisibilis forma.

Mistrisse Madrill weares euermore her maske,
Which makes the people very much admire;
But none so saucy dares the reason aske,
Or contradict it since tis her desire:
For painted pictures, must (you know the guise)
Be alwaies curtain'd from the vulger eyes.

62Mali corui, malum ouum.

Squinto that peasant, with his meager face,
Whose tongue is like vnto an Adders tayle,
Must out of spleene these Epigrams disgrace,
(And if you'd hang him cannot chuse but raile)
His reason is that old distemperd rage,
Who writing nere but once was hist from Stage.

63Usuram damnat, vim patitur.

Cræsus a Gallant, but of no great wit,
Inueighes gainst Vsury and interest;
Maintayning simplie that it is vnfit
Mens substance by such profit were increast:
But Cræsus, talke no more, for I haue knowne,
When you your selfe haue put vp three for one.

64Canis ad vomitum.

Dick that each night goes duely drunck to bed,
Forgets to pray vntill he risen is;
And hath next morning druncke againe, and fed,
Then sweares as fast at whatsoeres amisse,
So much hee's mou'd at wagging of a haire,
As Dick dares damne himselfe fore morning praier.

65Ictus Piscator sapit.

Brutus at length escap'd the Surgions hands,
Begins to frolick as if all were well;
And would not for the worth of thrice his lands,
Endure the brunt of such another hell;
But leaues this farewell for his Phisicks hire,
The child that's burnt, for euer dreads the fire.

66Contemptæ iacent artes.

Young Valentinus writes as many hands
As any Clarke within the Towne he dwels;
The Latin, French, and Dutch he vnderstands,
Et multis alijs more then much excels:
There's no man knows how Fortune yet may lift him,
Though at this time he wants a shirt to shift him.

67Cæcus amor, cæca libido.

Secretus in the night a drabbing goes,
That lurking liues by day-light like the Owle;
But then his lustfull lims vpon her throwes,
And nere lookes on her, be she faire or foule,
Or lewd, or loathsome, lam'd, diseas'd, or common
It onely likes Secretus shee's a woman.

68Quorsum purgatio hæc?

Cornelius thinkes it best he take purgation,
As well t'expell those homours that abound,
As to beguile some others expectation,
That for his pleasure pleaseth not be found:
I doubt Cornelius then will purge so long,
As hee'l not leaue himselfe a penny strong.

69Tunica Pallio proprior.

Tiburnus keepes a Tauerne neere the Fields,
Where Bacchus fild with Nectar nightly sports,
And Venus pleas'd, with sweet perswasion yeelds;
Unseene of Uulcan when as Mars resorts,
But to iumpe plainely to the point indeed,
T'is thought his Wife best serues the turne at need.

70Stultorum Sapientia.

Corinus waxen poore deuised best
What Art or skill might next aduantage bring,
So many proofes his cunning had profest,
As could be fram'd almost on any thing:
At length resolu'd, his Countrie he forsooke,
And of his trauailes wrote a fustian Booke.

71Non Brachia sed Nasus.

Nick being druncke one night disgrac'd his nose
Against the poast, he groping could not feele;
Nor how he hurt himselfe doth yet suppose,
(But that his head was lighter then his heele:)
But Nick, if I might censure of thy harmes,
I thinke thy nose was longer then thine armes.

72Fætido sic flatu, turget superbia.

As young Renaldo stood diuising best
To please his Lady with some pretty tale,
(Whose setled countenance thereto addrest
And bashfull blushing did him then appale)
He therewith coughing, chanc'd to let a fart,
Which euer since hath dasht him out of hart.

73Nec caste, nec cautè.

Vvlcanus vowes to prosecute the law,
Gainst one that wronged his beloued Nell;
Whom for her part she neuer felt nor saw:
And how she liues that let her neighbours tell,
If she her cariage doe not closely beare,
Though he, her husband, once a Bankerout were.

74Infamia, fama.

Sardinia swaggers, but with good report.
Though she preserue a morsell for her friend,
The course she takes is of another sort;
Then doth to Groomes or Wastcoat wenches tend:
For (but her selfe excepted) shee'l be sworne,
The worst are Knights on Gentlewomen borne.

75Nescis quò serus vesper vehat.

Lincus deuiseth as he lyes in's bed,
What new apparell he were best to make him;
So many fashions flow within his head,
As much he feares the Tailor will mistake him:
But he mistooke him not that by the way
Did for his olde Suite lay him vp that day.

76Est mihi diua parens, &c.

Owinus wondreth since he came from Wales,
What the description of this Ile should be,
That nere had seene but Mountaines, Hils, and Dales
Yet would he boast, and stand on's Pedegree,
From Rice ap Richard, sprung from Dick a Cow
Be Cod was right gud Gentleman: looke ye now.

77Nulli Thai negat.

Lucina likes not to be ouer coy
Amongst those friends that come in loue to greet her
For mirth and Musick euer was her ioy,
And therein failes she none that dares but meet her:
So firme her fancies doe on pleasures fixe,
As she is wholy made of Merry-tricks.

78Matrimonium meritrici Pallium.

Marcella doth her daughter oft aduise,
She take example by her sisters fall,
Least worser danger should to her arise,
And may her credit in like question call,
Till she in marriage so her selfe aduance,
As may support it whatsoeuer might chance.

79Simul & semel.

Cantus both wood and wedded in one day,
(Nor was it wondrous, as the case required)
For she with childe, no reason had to stay,
And he contented, lik't what loue desired:
Vntill he saw how soone her wombe did rise,
Which she excus'd, was now the common guise.

80Bacchus triumphans.

Cocus that quondum kept both horse and man,
And could haue tane what not? vpon his word:
Now walkes the Suburbs without Cloake or Wan,
And fares as Fortune pleaseth to aford;
More shame then pittie tis, a man would thinke
So great a portion could be spent in drinke?

81Sequitur vestigia Matris.

Fidus too franckly brings his Wife abroad,
Amongst our Roysters of the deepest ranck,
As who should say she that awry hath troad,
Will play the same, but not a worser pranck,
Vnlesse she iumpe so iust her Mothers mould,
As like to her shee'l proue as often sould.

82Monstrum intus & extra.

Monsieur Mendoza weares a nose notorious,
Not like the luster of each Malmsey nose;
But such whose splendor is more glorious,
Then richest Rubies, or the reddest Rose,
Briefly the tenor, if I must di sclose,
Mendoza hath indeed a monstrous nose.

83Par pari, referri decet.

Old Menedemus that would neuer wed,
But made his wenches serue in stead of men,
Is now at length of such a morsell sped
As quits his quondams with a Carde of ten;
For all those mungers did her most maintaine,
She now payes home with twice as much againe.

84Quid cogit necessitas?

VVhen Luscus late beheld a proper Lasse,
And of her dainties had desire to taste,
Not knowing how to bring his sute to passe,
He vow'd to speede or hang himselfe in haste;
She, fearing Luscus would haue don't indeed,
Yeelds, more to saue his necke then serue his need.

85Ingentes, tollunt aminos.

Qvintus by nature was so hot and fierie,
As on the least occasion straight would draw,
And run himselfe into a Prœminiri,
With resolution, in dispight of law,
Vntill the Gaile for twelue moneth taught him diet,
Where (purg'd of choller) Quintus now liues quiet.

86Parturiunt montes, &c.

Petrus will bring forth Epigrams heereafter,
But I deliuered am: my paines are past.
Then must his Muse be but my Muses daughter,
Because (you see) mine giues the name of last:
But Petrus meanes t'inlarge his Booke with blancks,
Fearing more labor, and more lines, then thanckes.

87Furoris præcipitium.

Iosephus hath his learning quite forgot,
Yet, hence these Epigrams he headlong flings,
That by no meanes his fancy feedeth not,
They are such brutish beastly bandy things,
Was't not well aimd at, on so short a sight?
Few of your fooles doe alwaies iump so right.

88Superbiœ comes, inopia.

Susan that whilome wore her gownes of sattin,
And far'd deliciously from day to day,
(Translated into French from out of Latin,)
Is faln at length into that foule decay
As all the meanes and mony she can win,
Will scarce procure the Spittle take her in.

89Tempus edax rerum.

VVhen Mistris Win did first her wastcoat weare,
She scarcely could that cariage then maintaine,
But now on float her selfe a loft doth beare,
With flaggs and top-sailes launching forth amaine:
Whose force in hottest fight exceeds so farre,
As dares encounter any man of Warre.

90Asperum nimis condimentum.

Mounseir Albanus new inuested is
With sundry suites and fashions passing fit,
But neuer any came so neare as this,
For ioy whereof Albanus frollickes it,
Vntill the Tailors bill of Solui fias,
Diuerts his humour cleane to another byas.

91Tobacco, vinum, Venus.

Focus growne fat, liues like an Epicure,
And studies daily how he shall be fed,
That can no more your walkes in Powles indure,
But takes Tobacco as he lies in's bed:
Where belching (like a Boare) he cals for Sack,
And only keepes a Whore to scratch his backe.

92Mulus mulam fricat.

How comes it Mildred our next neighbours maid
That serues for wages scarce foure markes a yeer
Should goe so rich and gorgiously arai'd,
As to no little wonder may appeare?
Oh, t'is her Maister deales so like a brother,
As one good turne deserues to quite another.

93Quis Ebrius laudat temperantiæm?

Seuerus likes not these vnseasoned lines,
Of rude absurdities, times foule abuse
To all posterities, and their assignes,
That might haue beene (saith he) to better vse:
What sencelesse Gull, but reason may conuince,
Or Iade so dull but being kickt will wince?

94Faciet, non vxor amatur.

Canutus knowne a man of substance plenty,
And growne a Grandsire to no meane a stocke,
Hath wedded one suppos'd was vnder twentie,
Whom poorely he receiu'd but in her smocke:
That since for recompence a sonne hath brought him,
So old and able who would ere haue thought him?

95Nobilitas ignota, ignobilis.

Barnardu boasts his Kin and Pedegree,
Are such as may compare with greatest Peeres,
Nor can your Coate by halfe so ancient be;
Before the Conquest knowne for many yeeres;
If that be ancient, which we doe not not know,
Then I conclude, his Gentry may be so.

96Summis negatum stare diu.

Tharsus in Office beares himselfe as great,
As Iuno's Bastard, who such labour won:
Or Ioue himselfe that sate in Saturnes seate,
Or Phaeton that's said to rule the Sunne:
But so presumptuous he forgets his calling,
As with young Icarus I feare his falling.

97Non re, sed nomine Sponsus.

Lvcina languishing through long dispaire,
That since her marriage-day ner' bred yong bones,
(And yet a Woman lusty, young, and faire,)
Is now deliuered of two Boyes at once:
For which the Midwife prais'd her husbands skill,
Yes: true (quoth she) the man did his good will.

98Vadas si inuideas.

Momus , thy mallice I haue lookt for long;
And made prouision fit to entertaine thee;
But if thou guerdon my good will with wrong
Thy comming Ile preuent, and much disdaine thee.
My boord for bitter foes no meat affords,
Thou therefore shalt be forst to eate thy words.

99Quam fallimur in certis?

Iocus in's humour weareth out the day,
Counting it sinne to take thought for to morrow,
And makes a iest when he should come to pay;
But pleads good earnest when he meanes to borrow.
Yet see how Iocus iests at length deceaues him,
That in the hole of Woodstreet-Counter leaues him.

100Inequales trahunt Iuuencæ.

Curta nere mourn'd her husband being dead,
Because she was too young, and wanted wit;
But Curta since (the second time) hath sped,
With one as much too olde, and more vnfit,
Which (if you marke it) makes the prouerbe full
She that hath borne a Calfe, now beares a Bull.

101Ambitio fæminini generis.

Mistres Matressa hopes to be a Lady,
(Not as a dignitie of late expected)
But from the time almost she was a Baby,
That hath your richest Gentlemen reiected,
But yet not dubd in present, as she should be,
Proues in expectance still, my Lady would be.

102Amor non est acceptor personarum.

Ivlia hath sworne to loue her Seruingman,
On whom she dares before her husband smile;
And enterchange those greetings now and than
As may the times and his mistrust beguile,
For Iulia thinketh it in conscience meet,
Who tastes the sowre, should sometimes feele the sweet.

103Unus Diabolus dominatur in tribus.

A Scriuener and a Vsurer contends
Against a Sarieant, which performeth most:
Th' one sayes, he bindes; th' other his money lends
Then what (quoth they) remaines that thou shouldst boast
Yes (saith the Sarieant) if you note it well,
I can conduct men liuing into Hell.

104Sublata causa tollitur effectus.

Mounseur Piero hath his wedlocke lost,
That gainst his credit proues a strong inuectiue
Some censure this, and that; but by the most
It's found apparant that he was defectiue:
And therefore must he in a case so slender
Be forc't perforce his right and clayme surrender

105Aquila non capit muscas.

Grandus that great Colossus gins to learne him
The Rules that longeth to a cunning Clarke:
But saucy he's to thinke my lines concerne him,
Or any drunkard stumbling in the darke.
No Grandus, know, I write of greater men,
Thou art too base a subiect for my Pen.

106Præstat otiosum esse quam male agere.

Lucres liues lazely, and loues her ease,
Medling with nought that toyle or labour brings;
But to be idle lesse doth Lucres please
Then to be medling with the meanest things,
Which she accompts but as a veniall sinne,
Hauing (alas) no other commings in.

107Quot capita, tot sensus:

Some much commends your Humours ordinary
Others doe more affect the louely Greeke;
But most extols our English Secretary,
No one can please all: all loue not alike.
Giue me that fellowes wit, whose follies Rime,
Was bare-arst pictur'd on the backe of Time.

109Vnusquisque suo sensu.

As are my Epigrams no way precise,
Or curiously compact, but plaine indeed;
So wish I not the Reader, ouerwise,
To wrest or censure where there is no need,
But if thou wilfull wilt apply them to thee,
All that I say, is, much good may they doe thee.

110Aliud simulat, aliud agit.

Proface (quoth Fuluio) fil's the tother quart,
Nay, since w'are met, let vs not budge till tenne:
What's he that will not pledge me with a heart?
All this to any one dares say Amen,
But calling for a Iourden, steales away,
And leaues the reckoning for the rest to pay.

111Serio, si Sero.

No more carowsing Tomkin, if you loue me;
When was there seene a ciuill woman drunke?
In any thing but this command or proue me:
Nay, then you'ld vse me as a common Puncke.
Faith Syr, I scorn't: nor care I for your Wine,
Giue me your money ere you haue what's mine.

112Ede, bibe, lude.

Come on, sayes Mounseur Rake-hill, what shal's do?
Shal's kill a Sarieant, or go rob for treasure?
What hath thy stomacke most a minde vnto?
We ne're shall yonger purchase greater pleasure:
Liue still, and lacke? s'fut, something wee'l intend,
They can but hang vs for't and ther's an end.

113Moritur cum tempora mutant.

Svperbus lookes no lower then the skie,
Yet is vnskilfull in Astronomie:
Tis like he knowes for certaine he must die,
But would not see the place where he should lie:
Take heed Superbus, may a number cry,
Thou be not damn'd for pride and villanie.

114Nocturnæ lucubrationes periculosæ.

Flora gaines more by labor in the night,
Then can her husband purchase any way:
What would she not procure her if she might
Be so imployd' with businesse all the day?
That might be censur'd soone by him, or those
Who best the burthens of her labour knowes.

115Sequentur tandem deteriora.

Hang't, a poxe on't (quoth Uincent) let it goe,
T'is not the most that I haue lost before,
He was a Rascall to abuse me so:
Spent I as much as he is worth and more
T'will not vndoe me: but (braue Uince) it will,
If you continue in this humour still.

116Quod roget Natura fiat.

Matilda growne to age, full fourteene yeares,
Betroths her selfe against her Fathers will,
And lesse the threatnings of her mother feares
To ioyne in wedlock, proue it good or ill:
Which to vndoe she scorneth with her heeles,
So much she now the pricke of conscience feeles.

117Sic ars diluditur absens.

VVhen Ralph returnes each euening from a play,
He tells his wife he was at shop that while,
Which simply she beleeues and goes her way,
Then laughes to see he could her so beguile
And come vpon her: but if all be true,
Ther's many (Ralph) playes on her more then you.

118Quisq; sua vindicat.

My Epigrams how euer poorely borne,
And at an instant hudled vp in hast,
Doe boldly yet the name of Bastard scorne,
That sauour not of stolne or borrowed taste:
Many haue father'd what they haue not knowne,
My comfort onely is, What's mine's mine owne.

119Quæ sola, magis errat.

Young Mistris Rose to Pymlico is gone,
(A place I hope no City creature blames,)
But it's suspicious that she walkes alone,
And not in troopes amongst our London Dames:
Because the wicked tearmes it as a Bursse,
To meete and talke, but afterwards doe worse.

120Facibe obliuiscuntur maximi.

Gallanto fall's in rage this other day,
Missing a suite he thought was stolne, or sould,
But presently remembred where it lay,
For by his Page t'was peremptory told,
He knew before (which need no such vexation)
That that and more was pawnd the last vacation.

121Audentes fortuna iuuat.

A Souldier once a Widdow would haue woo'd,
But being poore and loath to be deni'd,
Durst not impart how he affected stood,
Which she as soone thus censur'd as espi'd:
You may be valiant (Sir) but seeme vnlusty,
That either haue no weapon, or t'is rusty.

122Exclamat Sydera sero.

Young Maister Pignus sweares he lesse indures
To deale with Brokers then so many Diuels,
Which next to Baudes, and Panders him assures,
Are euen as bad or rather worser euils:
That more inflict (saith he) then sword, or dearth,
And therefore cals them very Diuels on earth.

123Forma, bonum fragilè.

Rvgosa waxen old hath broke her glasse,
And liues in hatred with her owne complection,
Remembring but the forme it whilelome was,
Which when she lookt on gaue that sweet reflection:
But now despayring, thinkes no christall stone
Can shew good count'nance that receiueth none.

124Conscia mens quæritur.

Lysanders wife nere ioy'd her harts content,
Since now this second time she prou'd with childe,
For well she knew the labour ill was spent,
That had her Husband secretly beguild:
But most to thinke (which is the worst shee feares)
The worlds suspicion when it comes to yeeres.

125Amica omnibus, inimica nulli.

Ned with his first espoused neuer thriu'd,
The reason was her vnalluring feature,
But now at length with such a wench hath wiu'd,
As is compos'd another kinde of Creature:
Who faster then a man bespeakes her wares,
Deales all she can to free her Husbands cares.

126Fati necessitas.

VVhen Taurus plagues the people through his might,
Hee'l still alledge the law shal beare him out;
Though conscience knowes t'is neither iust nor right,
Yet threats by law to bring the same about:
But Taurus for a Cuckold's pointed at,
I wonder Taurus hath no law for that?

127In cauda non in capite.

Silla in rage hath sworne to leaue the law,
That will not halfe suffice to beare his charge,
Such takings in a Tearme he neuer saw,
And little reason hath to spend at large,
Were not his wife of Clients better sped,
Silla had long ere this beene dead, or fled.

128Cynicus:

Nature hath fram'd Fastidius like a Dogge,
Of that vnhumane shape, so true a Dogge
As he's reputed for a very Dogge,
Or rather one more biting then a Dogge:
Who since by due he is so deem'd a Dogge,
It must ensue that he will dye a Dogge.

129Aliquid bonum propter vicinum bonum.

VVhen Borus with his betters sits at Board,
He vomits straight his humours bitternes,
And will exceptions take at euery word:
Although it poyson proue to more or lesse,
Who patient must perforce therewith partake,
Not for his owne, but for his Phillis sake.

130Tam notus vt nasus.

Tom takes it as a pride that I should name him
Within the Circuit of my Bookes precinct;
And intercepts me, with, I can not shame him,
As if he knew my meaning by instinct:
For thus, hopes he, the more a man rayles on him,
The more he will in time bestow vpon him.

131Theatrum licentia.

Cotta 's become a Player, most men know,
And will no longer take such toyling paines;
For heer's the spring (saith he) whence pleasures flow,
And brings them damnable excessiue gaines,
That now are Cedars growne from shrubs and sprigs
Since Greenes Tu-quoq; and those Garlicke Iigs.

132Sola mea mecum porto.

Some, that my lines haue madded, make report,
What er' I write is all by imitation;
Others of whose abuses I make sport,
Say, that I want more matters variation,
Or that from borrowed-wit I seeke my fame,
Let them haue patience, I'le pay each his shame.

133Equitare in arundine longa.

Ioane loueth not this iesting with edge-tooles,
That oft were wont to hurt her vnawares,
And therefore meanes to deale with none but fooles
(If rich inough) how blunt, she neuer cares;
Though well 'tis knowne her iesting's too too euill,
For shee is able conny-catch the Deuill.

134Maximus Ignotis.

Gorgonius brags what wonders he hath wrought,
Tickling himselfe with selfe-conceit vaine-glory,
As in what fray or skirmish he hath fought:
To strangers whom hee meets hee'l preach a story,
But what thou art Gorgonius well I wot,
'Tis best thou tell it them that know thee not.

135Audi, cerne, tace.

Fortune (it seemes) respects not honesty,
Nor enuyes any man that doth her scorne;
For Tassus seem'd her honest friend to be,
And yet his Fortune is to weare the Horne,
Which kindely he puts vp and will not blow it,
Because his foes, to spite him, shall not know it.

136Contra vim durare noluit.

Parnella pines away with discontent,
And of mis-fortunes deepely doth deplore her,
Deeming the powers no way indifferent,
Her younger sister should be match before her:
And herein will the case no longer smother,
For since shee is no wife shee'l proue a mother.

137Peccatum vetus, pænitentia noua.

Magus , with's wit, at length was ouer-reacht,
Who hauing won a Widdowes chastitie,
And more her credit then his owne impeacht,
Got her with childe through importunitie,
But since supposing all things done and ceast,
Is forst to pay an hundred pounds at least.

138O stulte hac nocte, &c.

Avarus wisht his Coyne and countles store,
Might in a moment yeeld him so much more;
Who saw behind him in a looking glasse,
His worthlesse wish at length was come to passe:
But then came Death that did the Miser smother,
And gaue him equall ioy of th'one as th'other.

139Stulius varietatis auidus.

Zoilus expects my verses more should vary,
To please the Readers eare with choise digression;
Tut Zoilus, know, I am not mercenary,
Besides, it is no badge of my profession:
Yet few haue writ more Epigrams then I.
Who sayes the contrary, I say, they lye.

140Tandem sese surgit in altum.

Dick swore he doubted not to mount ere long,
And be no more the man he whillome was,
For he would liue or lie in prison strong,
Which to make good he quickly brought to passe,
That hauing rob the vestry at Al-hallowes,
Was forc'd within a fortnight mount the gallowes

141Non intus sed extra.

A Citizen (whose wife would sometimes sport)
Spying her tricks, first grieu'd, and then fell sicke,
To whom his friends would oftentimes resort,
And aske him where his paine did ake or pricke;
No where (quoth he) yet well I shall be neuer,
The paine I feele, is long of my bad-liner.

142Ut populus Nanus.

Nanus , though dwarfish, hath a diuellish wit,
Whose tongues the harbenger, that gets him diet,
And therewith striues all companies to fit,
Though what he wants, hee'l boast his gold shall buy it:
Aske how he liues, hee'l tell you straight (with oathes)
By trickes, Tobacco, strumpets, and good cloathes.

143A malo ad peius.

Milo with's swearing makes absurdities
Amongst the vulgar; seeme as verities;
For that (thinks he) a man esteemes his oath,
Whom otherwise to credit would be loath:
But now such is his chance whereat hee's grieu'd,
The more he sweares, the lesse he is belieu'd.

144Quæ vetera non curamus.

My Epigrams escap'd the Printers hand,
Eyther on Stationers stal's regardles lye,
Or must on Posts, for pennance, nayled stand,
That euery one may gaze on, passing by;
Which to preuent, and therewith purchase pelfe,
Tom Coriat solde the Bookes he made himselfe.

145Non bonos, sed onus.

A Knight that bought his Order, straight grew ill,
complaining much that he had caught mischance
Phisitions could not cure him with their skill,
Nor he himselfe with all his strength aduance:
He straind his backe so stooping to the ground,
As he nere since could lift vp twenty pound.

146Dignum, quod merito.

Mammon the Vsurer hath such a wife,
As layes it on, though he himselfe doth starue;
And is resolu'd to liue a Ladies life,
The whilest his pelfe may her in pompe preserue:
Mammon, this curse pursues thy wealths abuse,
She spends for pleasure what thou gots by vse.

147Patris ægrotans.

Dego grew sicke because his Dad left giuing,
And of consumption would haue dy'd out-right,
Had not the Churle the sooner left his liuing:
Whereby Mas Diego since was dub'd a Knight.
Vnhappy sonne, to draw such vitall breath,
That Phœnix-like liu'st by thy fathers death?

148Facile parta, facilius locata.

Two Lawyers opposite in two mens cases,
Rayld at each other in most vehement sort;
With many bitter termes and foule disgraces,
As those that hard them, blusht as such report:
Next night they meeting, laught at their past-iarre,
And what they got, spent freely at the Barre.

149A malo ad peius.

A country Farmer had a friend at Court,
That for his Coine procur'd him to be Knighted;
On whom his neighbours now giues worse report,
Saying, that since all house-keeping is slighted,
Therefore, in truth, they did him much vnright,
To spoile so good a Clowne for such a Knight.

150Ut tempora, mores.

A Pander once appareld wondrous braue,
Was askt why Fortune fauor'd such a knaue;
Who said, by Fortunes-wheele he did not clime,
Our riches comes (quoth he) by this bald time,
Wherein we free our selues from paines and care,
Liuing, like Barbers, by mens losse of haire.

151Non Verbera, sed verba.

Two Schollers late appointed for the field,
Must (which was weakest) to the other yeeld;
The quarrell first began about a word,
Which now should be decided by the sword:
But ere they drew, there fell that alteration,
As they grew friends againe with disputation.

152Uera filia matris.

A gentle Virgin sprung of gentle blood,
Much on her birth and reputation stood,
Who prou'd so gentle to Gentillitie,
As she was got with childe apparantly:
For if men gently would put kindnesse on her,
She neuer would vngently put it from her.

153In fundis Parsimonia.

Caius hath vow'd it for this yeere at least,
To sup no more in Tauernes at such charge,
But in his priuate Chamber meanes to feast,
And send for victuals by his men at large,
Tut, what should Caius in such cost excell,
When Egges, and Butter will suffice as well?

154Suum cuiq; pulchrum.

Cvruus being askt why he such Roses wore,
Vpon his durty Calue-skin-cobbled shooes?
And euermore in summer Sockes forbore?
His answere was, he could nor will, nor chose:
But Curnus know such Roses are vnmeete,
To help the sauour of thy stincking feete.

155Post dulcia finis amarus.

Ienkin a Welchman that had suites in law,
Iournying to London chanc'd to steele a Cow,
For which (poxe on her lucke, as neare man saw,)
Was burnt within the fist and know not how:
Being askt if well the lawes with him did stand,
Was haue her now (quoth Ienkin) in her hand.

156Ignotæ, nulla Cupido.

Florella , fal'n a yeare before her time,
(To salue the forfeit of her Mayden head
That must no longer for promotion clime)
Prostrates her selfe vnto a Vintners bed,
Where Gallants knock each midnight at her dore,
To taste the Iuyce that had no Bush before.

157Nemo nascitur Artifex.

If these (quoth Potus) proue not things admir'd,
When poore Mechannick toyling Water-men,
Shall with Apolloes Muse be straight inspir'd,
To leaue their Sculls, and deale with Poets-pen:
Let Hercules be henceforth tearm'd a Dwarfe,
And Paules-Church-yard exchang'd for Puddle-Wharfe.

158Praui magis prosunt.

Pignus the Scriuener by procurements gets
More in a month then keepes him all the yeere,
Knowing those Mountibanckes that mony lets,
On forfeit-pledges (proue they neare so deare:)
Let Baudes (quoth Pignus) beg, and Brokers fall,
It's too well knowne, he gaines the Diuell and all.

159Mala crescunt deteriora.

Philo takes Phisicke euery spring and fall,
Presuming thereby to prolong his life,
But neuer notes the danger therewithall
That comes by nigling with his neighbours wife,
Poxe on't: but last yeere shauen to the chin,
Must now againe this tearme anew begin?

160Tandem saturata Cupido.

Ieta that whilome Lady-like did Iet it,
Vpon the wheele of Fortunes highest top:
And scorn'd to feare mischance (if Gold could let it)
Now prostrate keepes a poore Tobacco-shop,
Where wonted paines to win the golden fleece;
Of each, is purchast but at pence a piece.

161Fœminæ ludificantur viros.

Kinde Katheren to her husband kist these words,
Mine owne sweet Will, how well doe I loue thee?
If true (quoth Will) the world no such affords,
(And that it's true I durst his warrant be:)
For nere heard I of Woman good or ill,
But alwayes loued best her owne sweet Will.

162Timet, seipsum noscere.

Dacus doth daily to his Doctor go,
As doubting if he be in health or no;
For vvhen his friends salute him passing by,
And aske him how he doth, in courtesie,
He will not answere there unto precise,
Till from his Doctor he hath tane aduise.

163Cignus per plumas Anser.

Pvt off thy Buskins (Sophocles the great,)
And Morter tread with thy disdained shancks,
Thou think'st thy skill hath done a wondrous feat,
For which the world should giue thee many thancks:
Alas, it seemes thy feathers are but loose,
Pluckt from a Swanne, and set vpon a Goose.

164Fingit quod Fœmina vellet.

Clara halfe angry with my Bawdy song,
Straight tolde her husband she had done with me,
Fie Clara, I should suffer much more wrong,
Ere I would tell what I haue done with thee;
But Clara, should I speake my conscience plaine,
I know thou wouldst it were to doe againe.

165Per linguam caudam.

Frisca saith faine she would be rid of me,
And in that scorne she takes a wondrous pride:
Frisca, hearke hither what Ile say to thee,
Thou art too rancke a Iade for me to ride:
And therefore prethee (Frisca) doe not raile,
For feare thy venom'd tongue disclose thy (------)

166Dupliciter beatus.

A Freeman once of London made a Knight,
Would in that Order still maintaine his Trade,
And trafficke as before, taking delight
To say, his wealth would grow when Titles fade.
T'was wisely thought vpon, so let it be,
Thy sonne shall braue it for himselfe and thee.

167Sic surdo canimus.

A Welshman vvas to an Italian tolde,
That could his language perfectly dispute,
Which he beleeu'd as Gospell vncontrold,
And with Italian gins him straight salute,
Th' other, admiring as a man dismaid,
Answer'd in Welsh he knew not vvhat he sayd.

168Conscia quæ nota.

Lexander cald Carina Hackney-woman,
True: borne at Hackney; that was no disgrace:
Oh yes, she doubts you deem'd her hackney-common
Alluding more her person then the place.
For why? her conscience tels her vnrequired,
How like a Hackney she hath long beene hyred.

169Præstat latrare quam mordere.

Old Chub for cheapnes chose to liue in Commons,
But not to study more then Kitchins law;
As harkning when the Cooke a manger summons,
And that's Chubs chiefest care, to cramb his maw,
Oh no, I lye: he keepes in cleanly case,
The Pumpe, the Priuie, and the Pissing-place.

170Dignior fæmnia marito.

Caius shifts not so oft his Seruingmen
As doth his wife exchange her Chamber-maids,
The one but notes him iealous now and then,
Th' other (should seeme) her secrets more vpbraids,
The poore effect whereof consists in this,
He but the shadow, she the substance is.

171Senibus voluisse satis.

Old Cæcus that a young wench sought to win,
Protested he would proue an honest man,
Sauing this one prouiso putteth in,
You may not barre his feeling now and than;
For though his stomack doth your flesh dispise,
To sup the broth would Cæcus yet suffice.

172Quid non verba suadeant?

Sextus halfe salu'd his credit with a iest,
That at a reckoning this deuise had got,
When he should come to draw amongst the rest
And saw each man had coyne; himselfe had not,
His empty pocket feeles, and gins to say,
By Iesu Syrs, here's not a Crosse to pay.

173Nemo nisi per vultum notus.

Cacus constraind on suddaine to vntrusse,
Turn'd vp his podex in the open street
But hid his face: and to them answerd thus
That passed by, and told him t'was vnmeet,
Ther's none (quoth Cacus) by mine arse that knows me,
How beastly els soeuer they suppose me.

174Posteriora placant.

Druso his Darkis had not kist all day
Which he intreated she would beare in minde,
That longing at her lips prouok't him stay:
(But therewith tolde her t'was the more behinde,
Till fit occasion might desire fulfill)
As much behinde (quoth Darkis) as you will.

175Sat, satis esse diues.

Clim , since his Fathers death, is cleane vnapt,
To follow now his former course began,
That better Sutes to be in Veluet wrapt,
And seemes to braue it out with any man;
Why may not Clim such garments boldly weare?
Being left more money then an Asse can beare.

176Aliquid in nubibus.

Scorus giues reckonings most irregulate,
For Sallats, thus: for Fruit and sweet-meats, so much:
But that is commonly when Mistresse Kate
Sups in the Flower-de-Luce with Syr Iohn owe-much:
Who, if his credit be no longer tooke,
Will morgage him the Mannor of Goe-looke.

177Nil violentum perpetuum.

Phædra transform'd from being a Chambermaid,
Ruffled awhile with Robes of richest price,
Till of a Bastard she was lately layd,
And had foretold, her Lord did her intice,
But then she carelesly repuls'd, and gon,
Fell for the Seruing-groomes to seize vpon.

178Formidat Stollidus vmbras.

Young Tregoose would by no meanes seale that Bill
Which worse (saith hee) then Drabs or Dice enthrall men,
Alledging this to be the onely ill;
Because t'was written, Be it knowne to all men,
For wer't (quoth Tregoose) to my Vather knowne,
Hee'l thinke me sure some Bastard, not his owne.

179Huic fronti fides.

Creta scornes any but her owne complexion,
Wishing her spotles liues integrity,
Were but as free from faults and foule detection,
As is her face from filthy Mercury:
'T shall nere be said but Creta for her part,
Delt plainely vpwards without tricks or art.

180Prosunt modo, verbera verbis.

Musco would alwayes vse to beate his maides,
Vnlesse t'were little Susan that came last,
Not caring which his seruice most vpbraids
With deeds of darkenesse that are done and past,
But here the question is how Susan delt,
That she with Childe his weight yet neuer felt.

181Si hodie tibi, cras mihi.

A scornefull Dame inuited ouer night,
To come and dine next morrow with a Knight,
Refus'd his sudden bidding with disdaine,
To whom this message was return'd againe,
Since with so short time she could not dispence,
To pray her come as that day twelue month hence.

182Vt populus mundus.

Plancus complaines the world's still worse & worse,
Whether he meanes the people or his purse,
Or both in one, or one in both combines
But thus I thinke, he rather it defines,
Like as with people there's lesse conscience found
So yeelds his purse, of late, more lighter sound.

183Occulta tandem prodiunt in lucem.

As Curios Page lay sleeping in the Porch,
That had beene watching th' other night before,
A seruingman in th' intrim stole his Torch,
Which after missing made him much deplore:
To whom quoth some that saw him in such plight,
Peace boy, thy Torch (no doubt) will come to light.

184Ad te (Scabiose Poeta.)

Scalpo hath got an itch in Poetry,
With which conceit doth oft his elbow scratch,
And sooner hopes to come in print hereby,
Then any young beginner of his match:
As cast-off Chamber-maides conuert to Drabbes,
So may thy itch in time breake out to scabes.

185Ebrius plus vitium trahit.

Cestus must sometimes sollace with his Punck,
Which he accounts more needfull then his meat,
And holds it Phisick to be often drunck,
In both which mesteries hee's so compleat,
As seldome with the one hee'l dine or sup,
But will be sure to cast the other vp.

186Magnus persona, paruus Crumena.

Grandus growes great, yet liues he poore with all
How meane you then? hee's fat and well set forth?
True: but t'is strange his Incomes are so small,
A man of that huge show and seeming worth,
How could his belly halfe so big haue beene,
But that it showes he had great commings in?

187Quos amat, amplectitur.

Franciscus loues to feast men at his table,
Sparing for nought that mony can procure,
All which he thinkes too little and vnable,
Their least of loues or friendships to allure:
Yea Master Francis; vse you so to doe?
Prethee feast me and haue my friendship to.

188Bis monitus, armatus.

Mistris Mallina vowes shee'l neuer mary,
Whiles some suruiue; that her amends should make,
Hath she not reason to be wise and wary,
That would so great aduentures vndertake,
Thrice to be got with childe by younger Brothers,
That swore to wed her, and are matcht with others?

189Clericus sine libro.

Promus the Puritaine though clownish, knowes,
Atricke of tenne which he from Clarkes hath found,
Who to the Tennant in possession goes,
To proue him if for purchase hee'l compound:
And thus doth Promus like a Tumbler toyle,
Whiles greater Dogges expect to share the spoyle.

190Incerta, somnia.

Dorastes dreamt he was so fortifi'd,
In spight of Fates, with fauour and protection,
As through the Streets he did in triumph ride,
And proudly rule the rost by his direction:
But waking since, with passions most extreame,
Hee's vext that all this while he did but dreame.

192Ad Thomam Coriat. Nuper admirabilem.

VVonder of writers (for so once thou wert,)
What pitty t'is thy fame no longer lasted,
That such of note in trauell and desert,
Like time-lesse Blossomes should so soone be blasted,
For thus farre boldly may thy Booke compare,
How ill so euer sure t'was passing rare.

193Ad eundem.

VVhat fame at first exceeding worths in common,
Had thy late trauels and aduentures wrought,
Wherein thou simply didst put downe that vvoman
Which to the Court a Deuonshire white-pot brought
Hers for reward vvas quickly done and past,
Thine on Record will euer extant last.

193To Iohn of Powlet-Church-yard.

Haile iocund Iohn made all of Iouizance,
And midst the Garden of the Muses dwéllest,
Thou best deserues my verse should thee aduance,
That with those curious complements excellest:
And Gallants gret'st with that abundant grace,
Vsh'ring thy flat-cap fore thy fleering face.

194To the guilty Coxcome.

Cease gald-backt Gull to question what or whence,
Or who I am that did these lines compose,
Canst thou not priuately with shame dispence,
But needes must haue it publisht to thy nose?
Will any foole suspect what no man thinks?
Knowst not a T. the more it's stird it stincks?

195Improbè quæ parta, periunt.

Gigas that iourneth daily to and fro,
Mongst Courts and Clarkes his causes to retaine
Will no aduantage, time, or toyle, foreslow,
To bring him damn'd and detestable gaine:
All which and twice as much will not defray,
The charge that Gigas (with a pox) must pay.

196Duplex pudor, Impudentia.

Scruto the Scriuener that had lost his eares,
Whereon his locks he much more pendant weares
Hath late the like or worser Cousnage wrought,
And to the Pillory againe is brought,
Where now the Hangman (nought suspecting) sweares
Why slave quoth Scruto, must I still finde eares?

197Quære aliud diuersorium.

Pontus in's iourney trauelling towards Lyn,
Grew wondrous weary and of force would Inne,
Where he an Ostler cals, who cryes, Anon,
But staid so long that Pontus would be gon:
With that he heard within one laugh, and say,
Prethee make haste the Cockney will not stay.
But Pontus cryes againe, and would not passe,
Vntill mine Hoast himselfe put vp the Asse.

198Si quæ latent, peiora puta.

Murus when first he maried with a Whore,
Was truely tearm'd a cloake to sheild the raine,
But he his cloake since that time neuer wore,
Because the world should doe him right againe.

199Mens hominis nouitatis auida.

Young Prodigus new fashions still inuents,
And ought that ancient is will nought esteeme,
What others fancies likes least him contents,
But all things needs will out of order deeme;
Which is the vrgent cause I vnderstand
Why Prodigus did sell his fathers Land.

200Ne Sutor vltra, &c.

A Cobler and a Curate once disputed,
Before a Iudge about the Kings Iniunctions;
Wherein the Curate being still confuted,
One said, t'were good if they two changed functions
Nay (quoth the Iudge) I thereto should be loth,
But and you will weele make them Coblers both.

201Magnis, minora grata.

Lewde Lalus, came to me sixe Crownes to borow,
And swore (God damne him) he would pay't tomorow,
I knew his word as currant as his band,
And therefore gaue him but three Crownes in hand,
This, I to part with, he to take was willing,
And thus he gaind, and I sau'd fifteene shilling.

202Domina, non Sponsa perita.

You wisht me to a wife fayre, rich, and young,
That had the Lattin, French and Spanish toung;
With thankes I told you, I desir'd none such,
Lying, one language might be tongue too much,
But loue not I the learn'd? yes as my life,
A learned Mistresse, not a learned wife.

203Amicus incertus in re certa.

Coquinus vow'd all kindnesse that he could,
I should command and finde him as I would,
No sooner thankt I him, but presently
He crau'd my help, which I could not deny:
But then he swore since I his friend so stood,
Sfoot he would dye the death to doe me good,
It chanst I claim'd his vow in time of neede,
But to performe it he proou'd dead in deede.

204Artes laudantur et algent.

Plancus the Poet liues but poore and bare,
Yet nere was knowne a man, of miccle spending
For Puddings still were wont to be his fare,
Tut, Bad beginnings may haue better endings.

205Sudor serui pascit dominum.

Largus hath Offices so great so many,
As he can scarce directly serue in any,
No matter Largus, thou look'st to the gaines,
And tak'st the profit who ere takes the paines:
Thy Clarkes sufficient are to doe thee grace,
That on thy Gate this Emblem well may place.
A Penman prostrate at an Idiots foote,
(This being the motto) Sir, my man shall doo't.

206Vulgaris vt nomen.

Paruus whose purse at recknings nere appear'd,
Caries a conscience blacker then his beard,
Which to the world doth boldly testifie,
Is not so damn'd as yet he meanes to dye.

207Signum ventris, Apetitus.

VVhen trustie Tom his Maister durst reproue,
That once a wench besides his wife did loue,
He angry seeming at his bold report,
Requires him shortly after in this sort:
Calling to minde how much beyond all meate,
His man would most these butterd Parsnips eate,
He caus'd his Cooke according to his wish,
To dresse that onely and no other dish;
Which Tom (suspecting nought) deuoures apace,
And neuer ceased to debate the case.
But fell vpon them like a hungry Boare,
That had not fed himselfe a day before,
But next meale, findes the like and falls aboard,
Eating what then his stomack could afford,
And now presuming of some other change,
But finding Parsnips still; thought then t'was strange,
Yet once againe (quoth Tom) I meane to eate them,
Next, to his Maister (sweares) he will repeate them:
But still that dish was drest accordingly,
Which when as Tom the fourth time did espie,
He to his Maister goes to know the meaning,
Of onely this, and other meates restrayning,
Sirra (quoth he) you askt me this last day,
Why I for change of pasture went astray:
Since Butterd Parsnips you so much desire,
T'is strange you then should other meates require,
Oh Sir, (quoth Tom) I now picke out the sence,
Your Parsnips teach me that experience.

208Sic Dæmon Dæmona fallit.

Zanthus arrested, did the Sarieant pray
He might not straight vnto the Counter goe;
But thence perswades him in some Tauerne stay
To send for Baile, and fees on him bestow:
Whereto the Sarieant freely condiscends,
And being come they call for Wine at large,
Which Zanthus seeing, doth inuite his friends
That past along, to make the greater charge:
For nought he meant (nor could he ought defray,
Though seeming takes it to himselfe alone,)
But when the reckning came at length to pay,
Draw that haue coyne (quoth Zanthus) I haue none:
The Vintner vexed, swore he should not part
From thence that night, till he were satisfide;
Mary (quoth Zanthus) euen with all my hart,
I could desire I might with you abide.
The Sariant daunted in this case to see him,
Was volens nolens forc'd discharge the shot,
For being now growne late he thence must free him,
With coyne or credit where he would or not,
But well yong Zanthus knew they would not faile him,
That did next morning from the Counter bayle him.

211Rarus, qui publicus olim.

Of all the Toms that euer yet were nam'd,
Was neuer Tom like as Tom Coriat fram'd:
Tom Foole may goe to schoole, but nere be taught
Speake Greeke, with which our Tom is richly fraught:
Tom Asse may passe, but yet for all his eares
No such rich Iewels as our Tom he weares:
Tom tell-troth is but froth, and truth to tell,
Of all Toms our Tom beares away the Bell.

212Similis cum simili.

Tom went to th' Market where Tom met with Tom,
Tom asked Tom, What Tom? how far'st thou Tom?
Who Tom, I Tom? yes Tom (quoth Tom,) you Tom:
Well God a-mercy Tom: how doe you Tom?
Fayth nere so well (quoth Tom) since Tom was Tom,
And thus was the greeting past twixt Tom and Tom.

213Foras parcus, domi prodigus.

VVhiles Caius doth remaine beyond the seas,
And followes there some great important sute
His lands bears neither Oats, nor Beans, nor Peaz,
But yet his wife beares full and faire growne fruit;
His Lands wants occupiers to manure them,
But she hath store enough, and can procure them.

214Postrema grauiora.

Incultus comes to Towne to learne new fashions,
And will no more these rusticke imitations,
But not resolu'd as yet what course to affect,
Intreats some stranger-friend would him direct,
Who first my Gull to Birchin-lane doth cary,
To sute himselfe: from thence to th' Ordinary,
Where, after many a pledge with full carouse,
He needes must visit next a Baudy-house,
But there Incultus gan anew to quaffe,
And euer since was forc'd to leaue his staffe.

215Timidus gloriosus.

Forbeare t'attempt my patience if you loue me,
For I shall draw vpon my deerest friends:
The least occasion on the earth will moue me,
And then t'will be too late to seeke amends.
Will you be quiet whiles I warning giue?
What? yet againe prouoke me to this geare?
Strike but once more, as surely as I liue
Ile be thy Priest though't cost me nere so deare;
So, now remember you haue drawne my blood,
Helpe me, some honest man, or I shall sowne,
Heigh ho; hee'l neuer doe me so much good:
Beare witnesse Gentlemen, he struck me downe,
Which to reuenge (oh that my blood would cease)
True as I liue I'le binde him to the peace.

216Fronti nulla fides.

Votus hath vow'd to doe me many fauors,
And by no meanes I must him gratifie,
But all his oathes and protestations auors
Of nought but periur'd vile hypocrisie:
Well, for this trick Ile nere haue more to doe
With one so wicked and a Wit-all too.

217Durando sordida surgunt.

When Nut browne Nancy newly made a Bride,
(That vs'd before to feede her fathers swine)
Should more (sir reuerence lucke) be Ladified,
And all remembrance of what's past resigne:
Thereto preferd, alas poore pigges quoth she,
Now I am gone, who must your mistresse be?

218Cedant arma Nummis.

Oh spare you Syr, you offer great disgrace
To wish me sell my Rapier? fie, t'were base:
A Marshall Gentleman of my profession
And should be prostitute to such condition?
Ile sooner part from forth the house I dwell
Then leaue my pleasure I esteeme so well:
My Rapier is my harts sole excellence,
My liues chiefe propagation and defence:
The blade Syr, Ile besworne is such a one
As farther came from hence then Prester-Iohn,
Yet if it needs will please you looke vpon it,
I would but borrow some small siluer on it.

219Clericus sine libro.

VVhen Crassus in his Office was instal'd
For sums of money, which he yet doth owe,
A Clyent by the name of Clarke him cal'd,
As he next day to Westminster did goe,
Which Crassus hearing, whispers thus in's eare,
Sirra, you now mistake, and much doe erre,
That henceforth must the name of Clark forbeare,
And know, I am become an Officer,
Alas, quoth he, I did not so much marke,
Good Master Officer that are no Clarke.

220Durum telum necessitas.

Coquus with hunger, pennylesse constrain'd,
To call for meate and Wine three shillings cost,
Had suddenly this proiect entertaind,
In stead of What's to pay, to call mine hoste;
Who, being come, intreateth him discusse,
What price the law allots for shedding blood,
Whereto mine Hoste directly answeres thus,
T'was alwayes forty pence, hee vnderstood,
So then (quoth Coquus) to requite your paines,
Pray breake my head, and giue me what remaines.

221A malo ad peius.

In elders time, as ancient custome was,
Men swore in weighty causes by the Masse;
But when the Masse went downe (as others note)
Their oathes were by the crosse of this same groat:
But then the crosse was likewise held in scorne,
And by their faith their common oath was sworne,
Last hauing sworne away all Faith and troth
God damne me, now is vs'd their common oath.
And thus by custome kept from times gradation,
They loose Masse, Crosse, and Faith, to finde damnation.

222Habet & Rosa spinam.

A Cater that of late some Wild-foule bought,
Incontinent vnto his Master brought;
Who smelling at them neere about the rump
Sayd out, thou knaue these sauor of the pump;
His man that was a rude and saucy loute
Zounds, answeres, Syr, swell you them thereabout?
Smell your fayre Lady there, and by your fauour,
You'l finde a foule if not a fulsome sauour.

223Omnia probato, quod bonum est teneto.

My Epigrams dispatcht, abroad I send them,
To good and bad, that but a looke will lend them,
If any proue so kinde that can befriend them,
When they shal heare or know t'was I that pend them,
Euen so: if otherwise, Ile not defend them,
Much lesse (which were a shame) I should commend them,
Then Reader (if thou wilt) I prethee rend them.

224Ut Caseus Liber.

Heywood affirmes, and prooues in some degrees,
That one may well compare a Booke to Cheese:
At euery Market some buy Cheese to feede on,
At euery Mart some men buy Bookes to read on,
All sorts eat Cheese, but wherefore? there's the question,
The poore for food, the rich for good disgestion:
All sorts read Bookes, but why? will you discerne,
The Foole to laugh, the wiser sort to learne:
The sight and sent of Cheese to some is hatefull,
The sight and sence of Bookes to some vngratefull:
No Cheese there is that euer pleas'd all feeders,
No Booke there is that euer pleas'd all Readers.

Liber Secundus.

1Dulce, quod vtile.

An honest Vicar riding by the way
(Not knowing better how to spend the day;)
Would sing vnto himselfe Geneua Psalmes.
A blindman hearing him straight beg'd his almes,
To whom (quoth he) with coyne I cannot part,
But God thee blesse (good man) with all my hart:
Oh, said the blind man, greater is our losse,
When such as you doe blesse without a crosse.

3Sequitur inuidia famam.

Two Madams once were striuing for the wall,
Both standing on their tearmes of worthinesse:
The one but young (howbeit rich withall)
The other ancient, though of substance lesse,
Said, soft and faire, till time hath tane fruition,
Your Ladyship is of the last edition.

4Quo se vertat, nescit.

Cucullus hath disguis'd his former feature,
And like Pythagoras transformed shape,
Is now (me thinks) become another creature,
Halfe French, halfe English (pox on such an Ape)
That imitates all fashions farre and neere,
Though gainst the haire he buyes them ner'e so deere.

5Credit colori.

Battus beleeued for a simple truth,
That yonder gilt-spurre spruce and veluet youth,
Was some great personage, or worthy wight,
Vntill one told him he was but a knight.
A knaight (quoth Battus) vaith I chud a zworne,
A hod not beene lasse then zome Gen-man borne.

7Sequitur fortuna nefanda.

Craicus through craft redeem'd his credit crackt,
That forc'd to leaue his banker out occupation,
Clos'd with a widdow e're he was contract,
Whose riches once more rais'd his reputation.
That now mid'st fortunes floating to the brim,
Craicus keepes strumpets, whiles his wife keeps him

8Non omnibus dormit.

Say that Carina keepes a vitling house,
I hope 'tis for no vulgar men of meane resort,
That basely will a cast of Cannes carouse,
Or at some game at Cards but idly sport:
Tis knowne her weekely risings and downe-falling
Equals her state with some of higher callings.

9Multum principia suadent

VVhen Kate with Country Clyents courted is,
She seems more coy then any new beginner,
Striuing, as if she knew not how to kisse,
Or euer saw the man that yet could win her:
But all to draw the Gulles more eager on,
That shares her gaines with Tinkers being gone.

10Magnis non est morandum.

See Silenus walkes accomplished,
With due performance of his fathers Page,
Lookes backe of purpose to be honoured,
And on each sleight occasion gins to rage,
You villaine, Dog, where hath your stay beene sucht
Quoth he, the Broker would not lend so much.

12Filius terræ.

Lvcas that hath beene long conceal'd of late,
Vpon the pennance of some purchast blame,
Liues now at Court in most heroicke state,
(But you must note t'is by another name:)
Call him not Lucas now, least you disclose him
Nor aske whose sonne he is, for then you pose him.

13Turpe est cum fœnore lucrum.

Lanus hath liu'd this last vacation,
Vpon his wiues bare charge without all reason,
Who since she knew at first her occupation,
Nere saw worse takings in a Lenton season.
A man would thinke thou shouldst her more beshrow,
That did so many burdens vndergoe.

15Non videmus manticæ quod in tergo est.

Naso could wish the people would forbeare,
To scandalize his more then honest Nan:
Who for this twelue month will expresly sweare
He hath not found her false with any man:
If otherwise she doe, he knowes not what,
Why should poore Naso be so pointed at?

16Luditur arte.

Marke but the semblance of Fucatas face,
How to the life her picture doth excell,
For louely feature, sweet and comely grace,
(Surely the Painter hath done wondrous well:)
But here's the doubt (both faces made by art)
Which you would choose to be the better part.

17Spoliatis arma supersunt.

Grand Captaine Quid, of coyne is quite bereft,
Whose Page was wont his purse & coyne to carry,
Now neither Page, Purse, Coyne, nor ought is left,
Saue what he's forc'd to pawne at th'ordinary.
Thus squint-ey'd Fortune partiall in her gifts,
Puts men of note oft-times to needy shifts.

18Duo iunguntur in vnum.

VVhy was yong Lancelot, Lynsey-wolsey nam'd,
Whose Ancestors were of one Linage fram'd?
But that t'was knowne Watling and fridaystreet,
In one coniunction coplatiue did meete.

19Anguis in herba.

Hilus hath hid himselfe this yeere and more,
Not in respect of feare to shew his face,
But for he rashly in his humour swore,
The Sessions-house should no more sift his case:
But if you'l needes the reason vnderstand,
He hath beene burn'd already in the hand.

20Labor ïmprobus omnia vincit.

Clogo will needs be knighted for his lands,
Got by the labours of his fathers hands,
And hopes to proue a Gentleman of noate,
For he hath bought himselfe a painted coate.

23Qui fuit arte Pedes.

The case is alter'd with Mercutio,
Since his preferment to that Noble man,
What er'st he hath beene, boots not now to know,
Those times are chang'd you see, what's then was then.
I dare presume Mercutio doth forget,
That euer he a Bill in Paules did set.

24Omnibus hoc vitium.

Pru that had patience to haue borne with any,
And lou'd plaine-dealing (witnesse all that knows her)
Is now vndone by bearing one too many,
So that you see plaine dealing ouerthrowes her,

25Varijs mutata figuris.

Lettis at length hath left her old profession,
And closely coucheth in a Sempsters shop,
Which may the burden of her late transgression,
With lesse suspect support and vnderprop:
To such as knowes her not, she and her wares,
For perfect purenesse with th' Exchange compares.

26Plus quàm prudentia nummus.

Amongst our later knights, sir Thomas knew it,
By common practise more then cunning wooing,
That being rich inough he could not rue it,
If Dicke should take him with his Doll a dooing.

27Hoc omnibus datur.

Cuthbert our Cobler can no more forbeare,
To take Tobacco, then to liue vnknowne:
He drinks all whiffes at least, and learnes to sweare
By Heauens; his oathes and humours are his owne:
But adding hereunto a pot or more,
He stands to nothing which he spake before.

28Premit altum corde.

Vvlcanus guilty, doth himselfe perswade,
Some of these Epigrams by him were made:
But dares not tell you wherein for his life,
Least men should play on him, as on his wife.

29Velle placere sat est.

Mistresse Parnella holds it requisite
To keepe more maides at home then need requires
As well to please her husbands appetite,
As for abroad she like exchange desires:
For thus they absent best content each other,
That else should be but baudes to one another.

31Redit orbis in orbem.

Yong Codrus, Land-lord to his fathers rents,
Which happy time (long look't for) did expire,
Addresseth him with those habiliments,
As least beseemes the sonne of such a Sire:
And thus he gallants it some yeere and more,
Vntill his Tenants thrust him out of dore.

32Oculus Adulter.

Of all the pleasures that our London yeelds,
Caluus commends the walks about Moore-fields,
There's many reasons that prouokes him to it,
He must be looking though he can not doe it,

33Matauit fortuna genus.

Rufus was reckoned once a man of might,
That would seuerely domineere and swagger,
Daring the stoutest of the Guard in fight
At single Rapier, or at Sword and Dagger:
Who would not muse that such a great commander
Should be translated to a lousie Pander?

34Uirescit vulnere Uenus.

Svsan 's well sped, and weares a veluet hood,
As who shall know her breeding hath been good:
It's reason she should rise once in her life,
That fell so oft before she was a wife.

37Voluptatis prætium dolor.

What cause had Liuia to leaue the Citie,
Where she so flourish't vntill now of late?
Oh, ther's a fault escap't (the mores the pitty)
Which the Church-wardens will not tollerate:
And yet the yeere before they could dispence,
Taking no knowledge of the like offence.

38Et manibus pedibusque leuis.

Lays of lighter mettall is compos'd,
Then hath her lightnesse till of late disclos'd,
For lighting where she light acceptance feeles,
Her fingers there proue lighter then her heeles.

39Fæminæ ludificantur viros.

Lvce had a secret longing to goe see
Her childe at nurse, for that she dream'd t'was sicke;
And would by no meanes pacified be,
Till she had seene her pretty little Dicke:
Full little knowes her husband (silly groome)
Who by this match e're midnight takes his roome.

40Fallentem fema fefellet.

Priscus gaue out he went to Prester-Iohn,
Presuming to haue purchast three for one;
But that t'was knowne, which did him sore beguile,
Priscus had tane the dyet all the while.

41Dominatus seruilis.

Fell foughten Furio hath now met his match,
And is seuerely sent vnto the gaile,
For blurting at Mas-Constable and his watch:
Who bids away with him, admits no baile:
As who shall know hee's now the Kings peace-maker,
Although the last yeere was but Kennell-raker.

42Pàr parì.

Baldus (too blame) runs in his Laundresse score,
And will not pay her scarcely once a yeere,
But then his shame is twice so much the more,
For she hath paid him truely to a haire.

43Sic vos non vobis vellera fertis oues.

Heard you in what surpassing rich aray,
Young Roger ruffled on S. Georges day?
T'was pitty more then spite it should be knowne,
That none of all those garments were his owne.
So that in stead of what report did scatter,
Hee simply was non-suted on the matter.

45------ortus nouus vrbe Brittannus.

VVho braues it now as doth yong Histrio?
Walking in Paule like to some Potentate,
Richly replenisht from the top tot'h toe;
As if he were deriu'd from high estate:
Alas, ther's not a man but may descry,
His begging trade, and bastard faculty.

46Iuueni, quid curua senectus?

Silla hath got a wife that's wondrous old,
But 'tis well knowne he woo'd her for her gold:
I hope her maides are yong, and serue for hire,
And that's as much as Silla doth desire.

47Castus erat vultu, &c.

Know you not Criticus our Cities Mule,
That haunts the harbours of iniquitie?
Yet like a Beadle of disordred rule,
Lasheth at lust, to cloake his villany:
Criticke, 'tis not your lookes (I dare assure you)
Can feare the Surgeon that of late did cure you.

48Plus Mæchus omnis amat.

Peace, weepe no more (sweet Su) and all is well,
Say I had found thee false, thinkes thou Ile tell?
No by this iron and steele, which plainly showes it,
An honest Wit-all is no Gull that knowes it.

49Fugit huc iurisque peritus.

Tobie hath euery tearme great suites in hand,
But sits at home like Iohn indifferent;
His wife hath law enough to vnderstand,
What by Ioint-tenant and In-taile is ment,
Haue not our Clarkes with fees beene faine to woe her,
And for bare knowledge put their cases to her?

50Omnes querunt sua.

This obseruation seemes (quoth Fisco) strange,
Why merchants walk in Paules, & knights th' exchāge,
Belike the one seekes those their debts should pay,
Whil esth'other goes to craue a longer day.

51Quicquid oritur inoritur.

Zonus our neighbour, and his spouse are parted,
True demonstration of her whoorish hate,
Else could she not haue beene so stony-hearted,
To leaue her husband for a stragling mate:
But then the statute (Zonus) sets thee free,
Thou didst not banish her, she fled from thee.

52Quàm partus ventrem sequitur.

Ralph hath an office in reuersion bought,
But rues the time that yet no wit hath wrought.
Content thee (Ralph) for wealth to let it passe,
Thou art no worse foole then thy father was.

53Non omnibus dormit.

VVhat reason is it Omphida should yeeld
To any man that's but a stranger to her?
Thinkes he at first assault to win the field?
Tut let him doe his worst, that worst can doe her:
Had there but colour beene for such intent,
She might allow your weakest argument,

54Mors vt vita ita.

Leno lyes sicke, and to the Doctor sends,
Who bids him looke for what he least intends:
And being oft to make his will requested.
Away (faith Leno) I will dye detested.

55Tunc tua res agitur, &c.

A iealous Marchant that a Saylor met,
Ask't him the reason why he meant to marry,
Knowing what ill their absence might beget,
That still at sea constrained are to tarry?
Sir (quoth the Saylor) thinke you that so strange?
T'is done the time whiles you but walke th'exchange.

56Ingeniosa Venus.

Fœdus hath got his neighbours wife with childe,
And yet hath not her husbands bed defil'd,
For why the plot within Moore-fields was wrought,
From whence a place was for that purpose sought.

58Nec vultus indicat virum.

Dicke in a raging deepe discurtesie,
Cal'd an Atturney meere necessity.
The more knaue he, admit he had no law,
Must he be flouted at by euery daw?

59Iugum suaue patientia.

Minos a man of much impatience,
Proues himselfe Cuckold in his owne defence;
And further doubts of greater danger fearing,
Intends to prosecute the good abearing:
His reason is, because he would seeme loth
To be cornuted, and bumbasted both.

60Sat saltem sic habeatur.

Ralph saies, this rabblement of new made Knights.
Makes Coaches deere, & Chandlers sell their lights,
The scarce a Seruingman the more is fed,
Or Foote-boyes onely bring their Sirs to bed.

61Dant otia ludum.

Young Maister Newcome, late of th' Ins of Court,
Hath newly laid aside his Littleton,
And for his pleasure deignes no other sport,
Then these vnfauoured rimes to seaze vpon:
Which hauing read, he comments on the weather,
How iumpe his law and learning met together.

62Citò parata Uenus.

Let Mistresse Su be stirring nere so soone,
She'l not be ready vntill after-noone,
Nor scarcely then: for why this sommer season,
The least Thing makes her sweat beyond all reason

63Quem suspicaueris, ipse.

Fuco is fled, more for his credit sake,
Then to be burdened with so base a deed:
Would he (thinke you) such trifles vndertake,
Hauing that kindred, and so little need?
Damn'd might he be that euer meant to doe it,
Had not his whoore, or somthing vrg'd him to it.

65Non caret effectu quod voluêre duo.

Constant Renaldo, who can but commend thee,
That still one Mistresse in reuersion seruest?
She could doe little, if not least befriend thee,
With gleaning licence for so long a haruest:
Gleaning said I? nay more, to mowe her Corne,
And catch the Hare whiles others blow the Horne.

67Si nihil attuleris, ibis, &c.

Planus , an honest Swaine, but monylesse,
Besought a Lawyer to be good vnto him,
Who eyther (gratis) must his cause redresse,
Or promise what he neuer meant to doe him,
Being asked why he carelesse lingred it,
Made this reply: Ex nihilo nihil fit.

69Formosa facies.

Fine Mistresse Fœtida perfumes her selfe,
With sweetest odours that she can deuise,
Which she preferres before all worldly pelfe,
That nought auaileth when her beautie dies:
But this dispaire is very death in thinking,
That one so faire should haue a breath so stinking.

70Sapiat qui vendit oportet.

Ianus doth iesting vse Equiuocation,
Which he alludes as doubtfull words of Art,
To hide the colour of his occupation,
But to the Diuell he beares an honest hart.

71Consilium post factum.

Aske not Uincentio now when things are past,
Why he so often sported with his Puncke.
Or wherefore so much hath beene spent in wast;
(As good you told a tale to one that's druncke:)
Let it suffice, he hath consum'd it all,
And as you see, walkes like the prodigall.

73Mole ruit sua.

Qvesto that quaint and briske Italian,
When first his trade for Merchandize began,
Would so much vndertake more then his owne,
(I thinke of purpose to be ouerthrowne)
For when t'was thought his fulnesse did abound,
Euen then he brake for seuenty thousand pound.

74Parturiunt montes murem.

Dego will draw, and stoutly stand vnto it,
Vpon the vtmost of his words brauado,
But being vrg'd on equall tearmes to doe it,
He basely pockets vp the bastinado.

77Malè parta, male pæriunt.

Old Colins sonne is newly come to age,
And may dispend fiue hundred markes a yeere,
But wanteth wit to holde his heritage,
Which hath beene euermore his Vncles feare:
Because his father got it by extortion,
And therefore ill to be a Woodcockes portion.

78Habet, & musca splenem.

Mopsus maintaines that bankruptship lesse moues him,
Then such a slaue as for his wiues sake loues him,
Yet well the Wit-all woteth though it grieue him,
His tonuge might starue except her Tayle releeue him.

79Olim hæc meminisse dolebit.

Gruntus lies groaning of a grieuous gout,
And would giue thousands to be soundly cured,
But all the cunning that his coyne findes out,
Cannot expell those paines so long endured:
Oh Grunto, thou hast liu'd so vnrepenting,
As scarce two hels sufficeth thy tormenting.

81Duplex Iniquitas.

Now yea and nay, quoth Mistresse Temperance,
You are to blame to be so vainely giuen:
Cannot your eyes vpon a woman glance
But they must couet? sooth you should be shriuen:
Fye, that you'l sweare so rashly by your troth,
Truely I would not doo't but for your oath.

82Non omnia possumus omnes.

VVho sayes Alcides hath no wit, they lye,
His place and office proues the contrary,
Though t'was not meant he should more vnderstand
Then might concerne him to subscribe his hand.

83Sumus omnes deteriores.

Cornutus boasteth of the debts he owes,
As who should thinke his credit then was such:
But all his substance valued now, God knowes,
Amounts not to the twentieth part so much:
Tis to be thought, because his vvife growes old,
And hath lesse doing now a thousand fold.

84Cani facile inueniendum Baculum.

Madam Ventoza can no longer frolick,
She is so troubled with a sore winde-cholicke,
Which to the standers by may lesse appeare,
Because her fyesting-Cur is still so neare.

88Mendici mendaces.

Pandorus spends the day by telling newes,
Of such his trauels as will make you muse:
Nay sir, beleeue it, hee'l discourse at large,
How should he else be fed at others charge?

90Qui modò rusticus, olim.

Po-lo peckes vp a pretty proling trade,
That hath him prouder then his maister made,
But yet when all is done, the world mistakes him,
For 'tis not's money, but the Taylor makes him.

92Furor arma ministrat.

Magus hath studyed long to breake a iest,
Vpon these rimes he doth so much detest:
And can you blame him? well he may be chiding,
That hath so often spurgal'd beene with riding.

93Dubitat mens conscia cornu.

Let Iealous Ralph but reade of Capricorne,
Or simply of the signe that's in the Ram,
He straight way thinkes you tax him with the horne,
And thereon haue compos'd some Epigram:
If Ralph on euery rime the worst will conster
It must conclude, in time hee'l proue a monster.

94Uolucrem sic decipit auceps.

Hydrus the Horse-courser (that cunning mate)
Doth with the buyers thus equiuocate,
Claps on his hand, and prayes he may not thriue,
If that his Gelding be not vnder fiue

95Quod mora tardat, abest.

Luscus hath long since learnd his Accidence,
And now turn'd Sexton (Clarke I meane at least)
Might yet for age more further farre commence,
But lost his time wherein he was a Beast.
For why his vather kept him still a Calfe,
And would not weane him at twelue yeares and halfe.

96Perdat qui caueat Emptor.

Nor lesse meant Promus when that vow he made,
Then to giue or'e his cousening Tapsters trade,
Who (checkt for short and frothy measure) swore,
He neuer would from thence forth fill pot more.

98Post dulcia finis amarus.

VVhat griefe it was Grace had no better fortune,
But that Bride-well must her disgrace importune
And which is worse, if worse it might perplexe her,
The Beadle comes behinde her backe to vexe her?

102Quàm bene notus amor.

Should Spruso leaue the wearing of his muffe,
His golden night-cap, and his double ruffe:
He would be still the same he was before,
For halfe the Parish knowes he loues a (------)

104Cucullus non facit Monachum.

Siluanus is become so pure and holy,
As he accounts all mirth but idle folly:
Aske him wherefore, he giues you ghostly reason,
But then his whoore comes neuer out of season.

106Senibus voluisse satis.

Æsop must yeeld when Rodop will ride,
And take no knowledge where, or who's her guide
Yet could the wizard wish her more in sight,
Since she at Braynford lodg'd this other night.

110Hic laqueos tendit, qui laqueo moritur.

VVho euer held Mendoza halfe so wise,
To haue attempted such an enterprise,
As had not Tyburne soone preuented it,
Mendoza would haue learn'd but too much wit.

112Post gaudia luctus.

Aye me (quoth Amy) who would ere haue thought
So great a mischiefe should arise of nought?
Which, had she knowne, ere she began to swell,
Each yard of pleasure should haue prou'd an ell.

114Linguam vis nulla domabit.

Mvns skill in horses doth so much excell,
As no man liuing breakes them halfe so wen:
And yet one Filly quite comptroles his arte,
He neuer backs her but she breakes his hart.

116Roganti dabitur.

Marcus stood musing, maugre all his might,
Where he should goe to lodge this other night,
Vntill the Beadle vnawares came on him.
And volens nolens thrust a bed vpon him.

117Dat census Honores.

T'is plainly knowne that our young knight, sir Adam
Had his beginning from an ancient name,
And (though not rich) may make his wife a Madam,
That brings her dowry to maintaine the same:
Say, that the Herald cannot blaze him forth,
Must Knight-ship therefore be of no more worth?

118Tremuit sub pondere Cymba.

Had not Formosa very foule ill lucke,
Whose stooping simply but a rose to plucke,
Made to the hearers that so loudly knowne,
Which neuer yet before report had blowne?

120Coitum, non oscula laudat.

VVhen Kester courted Kate but for a kisse,
She coyly told him, that he aim'd amisse:
You maist beleeue her (Kester) what she said,
The halfe the parish knowes she is no maid.

121Cœlum non animum mutat.

Nay fie, how strange you make it Mistresse Iane,
That will not know your quondam tryed friends,
Remember since you lodg'd in Cart-her-lane:
Shall former kindnesse merite no amends?
I say no more, well you may change your name,
But once a Whoore, you should be still the same.

122Purtus ventrem sequitur.

Maud being mou'd at foureteene yeares to marry
Said (were she tall inough) she would not tarry
T'were good her sister but so wise had beene,
That had a Bastard ere she was fifteene.

123Diues quis stultus habetur?

Tis true that Simon (simple though you thinke him)
Knowes how to execute his fathers trade,
Which (no dispraise) may with that substance link him
This quickly shall amend what nature made.
Doe not your most fooles thriue exceeding well,
That haue but wit inough to buy and sell?

124Hoc aliquid nihil.

Guido hath gotten very goodly suits,
That of his labours are the onely fruits,
I meane no other suits then those he weares,
Which how to compasse, is that Guido feares.

126Impar ætas, imparesq; mores.

It could not be (me thinkes) imagined,
That Iulia could haue lost her maidenhead
Being so yong, but that her selfe first told it,
To whom, and where she this vacation sold it.

128Indomitæ tandem veniunt ad aratra inuencæ.

Lesbia the faire, that would be woo'd of none,
Hath since beene won by many more then one:
And like a flower, whose colour soone doth fade,
With often riding, proues a hackney Iade.

130Aurum volat ocius Euro.

Monsieur Fleming fraught with Angels store,
Would see faire London, neuer seene before:
Where lodging with his Mistresse but one night,
Had (ere he parted) put them all to flight.

138Ingenio pollet cui vim natura negauit.

If Nanus had but common gifts of nature,
And no arts cunning to his cubit-stature;
He neuer could with Ladies come so neare,
Nor get his victuals gratis all the yeare,

139Turba graui paci Meritrix.

Ienkin is wondrous iealous of his wife,
And vrgeth tearmes of shrewd suspition,
But knowes not him the causer of his strife,
Yet will he yeeld to no condition:
For now you offer Ienkin more disgrace,
Then if you horne him to his very face,

148Quid non speramus amantes?

Pierce was espoused ere he went a wooing,
What should such Dunces be so long a doing?
His wife (the wiser) thought to saue that paine,
By getting her a cloake fit for the raine.

150Lateat benè qui malè vixit.

Francisco flyes, not daring once come neare,
But makes th' infection to be most his feare:
When those his Creditors that least beleeues him.
Knows 'tis his debt more thē the deuil that driues him

154Nec castè, nec cautè.

Mounsiur Du Prie hath promis'd to take heed,
That in the darke he doe no damned deed:
Fye Monsieur, fie, a man of your faire meanes,
And found a bed with filthy Oyster queanes?

156Sero sapiunt Phryges.

Cestus , that feasted long on delicates,
Now such vnpleasing foolish dyet hates;
Is it not reason he should spare at last,
That hath consumed more then all in wast.

158Mortalia cuncta caduca.

Stella the starre, that whilome shin'd so bright,
Is now ecclipsed, and hath lost her light;
Twas pitty (Stella) that thy starres were such,
Better for thee they had not shin'd so much.

159Pestis, cum finis amarus.

Fye, would you offer Winefrid that wrong,
To set abroach her Virgine chastity?
Well wotteth shee, you cannot loue her long,
And which is worse, the world may it espy:
Which is the thing that makes her looke into it,
Or else you know how easie t'were to do it.

162Qui quondam Lixa, Lanista.

Tis said that Whittington was rais'd of nought,
And by a Cat, hath diuers wonders wrought;
But Fortune (not his Cat) makes it appeare:
He may dispend a thousand markes a yeare.

166Prauis communia praua.

Aske Minos why he marries not, heel' say,
He loueth not, to liue at racke and manger,
Whiles he may take a snatch and so away,
In common corners, like a common ranger.

167Hic laqueos tendit, qui laqueo leditur.

Linus , that like to Æsops Spaniell snatcht,
The shadow, for the substance, in the water,
Thought his egges chickins, being yet vnhatcht,
And needs would thriue ere Lady-day the later:
Sure thou wert blind, that couldst, or wouldst not see,
To lay a trap for them that now catch thee.

168Trahit sua quemque voluptas.

VVat wils, you know how much he scorneth it,
To be a pick-purse of anothers wit:
But in a pocket, please you vnderstand,
He hath a reaching, deepe, and diuing hand.

170Naturam expellere durum.

Parcus now sparing cost, sweares hee'l begin,
To enter commons in some Chancery Inne,
And will no longer once a day be fed,
That still before went supperlesse to bed.

171Nummos & Demona iungit.

Bat bids you swell with enuy till you burst,
So he be rich, and may his Coffers fill,
Bringing th' example of the Fox that's curst,
And threatning folkes that haue least power to kill,
For why 'tis knowne his trade can neuer fall,
That hath already got the Diuell and all,

175Moritur, cui fama perennis.

Amongst our Poets Rauchus reckoned is,
But lesse beholding to be so reputed,
For honest truth it selfe knowne to be his,
With fained Poetry was neuer suted:
Then must it certainly be said amisse,
Amongst our Poets Rauchus reck'ned is.

176Canis ad Vomitum.

Mai in the mood of his distemp'rature,
Sweares he must fight to keepe his hands in vre,
For being weary of his theeuing trade,
What should he doe, if not approue his blade?

177Spernit gens rustica musas.

VVhat tell you me of Pontus peasant groome,
That Tearmely posteth vp to purchase pelfe
Which he obscures within some desert roome,
And basely liues a slaue vnto himselfe?
Spurre him in any point, but in a lease,
You'l sooner tire the iade, then melt his grease.

179Timodos fortuna repellit.

VVhen Miles the Seruingman my Lady kist,
She knew him not, (though scarcely could resist
So sweet a youth, and well apparelled)
Had not the Dunce himselfe discouered:
For this (quoth he) my Maister bad me say, ------
How's that (quoth she?) and frowning flings away:
Vext to the heart, she tooke her marke amisse,
And that shee should a Seruing-creature kisse.
Why thus it is, when fooles must make it knowne,
They come on others businesse, not their owne.

181Nonnunquam iactat egenus.

Iacke is a Gentleman, I must confesse,
For ther's no womans Taylor can be lesse.

182Nemo omnibus horis sapit.

Nisus that doth his night-cap so much vse,
Was neerely brought vnto his winding sheet,
Those guilty conscience did him most accuse,
That he was plagu'd for walking late the street;
And well deseru'd, nor could he well doe worse,
Then deale with drabs, be drunke, and lose his purse

185Quos ego? sed motos præstat, &c.

Flaccus giues out (because the world shall know it)
How bitter shortly he intends to write,
Threatning therein to firke his fellow Poet,
Gainst whom he beareth such reuenging spite:
But soft (quoth Flaccus) should I say hee's poore?
Oh no: least others talke as much of me.
Or shall I tell him that he loues a whoore?
Tush, therein likewise wee both iumpe agree.
Faith, Flaccus doubtlesse will his spleene recall,
I, I: As good be friends, nor write at all.

186Quid non pecunia?

Shall squint-ey'd Mopsus, old Cincanters sonne,
Be matcht with Beauty for his little pelfe?
Much better were the Lobcocke lost then wonne,
Vnlesse hee knew how to behaue himselfe.
But this hath euer beene the plague of it:
That such are lou'd more for their wealth then wit.

187Forma bonum fragile.

Marcella now growne old hath broke her Glasse,
Because it flatters not as't did: alas,
Who would desire that any sencelesse stone,
Should shew good count'nance, that receiueth none?

188Sorte tua contentus.

Bartus being bid to supper to a Lord,
Was marshal'd at the lower end of the boord.
Who vext thereat, 'mongst his Comrag's doth fret,
And sweares, that he below the salt was set.
But Bartus th' art a foole, to fret and sweare,
The salt stands on the boord, wouldst thou sit there?

189Malum est quod tegitur.

Bartellus for a swelling in his groine,
Hath cut his shooe, and of his toe doth whine,
But what by that (Bartellus doest thou gaine?)
The neighbours know too well where lyes thy paine.

190Uox impedit Esurienti.

Gluto at meales is neuer heard to talke:
For which the more his chaps and chin doth walke
When euery one that sits about the bord,
Makes sport to aske, what Gluto, nere a word?
He forc'd to answere, being very loth,
Is almost choak't, speaking and eating both.

191Semper tibi proximus esto.

The will that women haue, doth shew the want of wit in we men
For we frō women take our woe, by giuing way to women

294Heu domus antiqua, &c.

Brutus whose buildings cost a thousand pound,
(Being newly fram'd, of late, euen from the ground)
Is fayrer farre then when his Father liu'd,
Because it's richer and more rare contriu'd;
Yet many times I heare the poore man weepe,
Saying, his father better house did keepe:
Which vnto me a Paradox doth seeme,
That what farre worse is, men better deeme.

195Nil refert loqui, dum vti liceat.

An English Lad long wood a Lasse of Wales,
And entertained her with pretty tales:
Although she vnderstood not how to try him,
Yet gaue consent at last to vnder-lye him;
Both hauing dallyed with full saciety,
(The wench to manifest the more sobrietie)
Told, in her language, she was fully payd:
And Degon, degon, once or twice she said,
(Degon in Welsh doth signifie enuft,)
Which he mistaking, answer'd thus in snuffe,
Degon that will, (for I protest) so sore
Haue dig'd already, I can dig no more.

197Pudore suo impudens.

A certaine fellow of the purer sect,
Who outwardly did holinesse respect,
Could not endure a Surplice in the Church,
Yet was he lately found in such a lurch,
That though he could not with a Surplice beare,
Did in the Chancell yet a white sheet weare.

198Non nouit seipsum.

Could Titus deeme the times he now bestowes,
To be the same he did prognosticate,
That thus of late transform'd himselfe not knowes,
He is become so great a Potentate?
Who would haue thought (his father but a Tanner)
The son should braue it in that pompeous manner.

201Detur quod meritum.

A Courtier kinde in speach, curst in condition,
Finding his faults could be no longer hidden,
Came to his friend to cleare his bad suspition,
(And fearing least he should be more then chidden,)
Fell to a flattering and most base submission,
Vowing to kisse his foote if he were bidden:
My foote said he? Nay, that were too submisse,
You three foote higher; well deserue to kisse.

202Genus in specie.

VVhat curl'd-pate youth is he that sitteth there
So neere your wife, and whispers in her eare?
And holds her hand in his, and soft doth wring her?
And slides her Ring oft vp and downe her finger?
Sure 'tis some man that's seene in both the lawes.
Retain'd by her in some important cause:
Prompt of behauiour in his words and action,
That doth her bus'nesse with great satisfaction.

203A malo ad peius

You sent to me to borrow twenty marke,
But to that suite by no meanes would I harke,
Then presently you sent a man in post,
To tell me that a Lord with you would host:
And you must haue to entertaine his state,
A Siluer Bason with some other plate,
Are you a cockscombe? or thinke me a foole?
That should be set againe vnto the Schoole?
Indeed I were a Woodcocke to be wondred,
(Denying twenty markes) would lend a hundred.

204Latet aliquid occultum

If Doll step out of Dores into the street,
But towards Church or with a friend to meet,
What is the cause (it may be some will aske,)
Why she still hooded goeth in her maske?
Oh shee's afraid it would be much disgrace,
The wind or raine should marre her painted face.

205Vsus promptos facit

VVhy striues old Turnus still to haue the wall?
Oh, he is euer druncke and feares to fall.

206Semper idem Incultus.

Toruus hath left his late mechannick trade,
And vseth now another new profession,
But being still the same that Nature made,
Yeelds to his former stampe the same impression:
Of whom I well may write this Epigram,
Ne quisquam Sutor vltra Crepidam.

207Foras expertus.

Priscus hath beene a Traueller for why,
He will so strangely swagger, sweare, and lye.

208Leui, responsio leuis.

Pretus that late had office borne in London,
Was bid by one good morrow Pretus quondom,
He, with a iest (no whit put out of temper)
Reply'd incontinent Adue knaue Semper:
Another in a kinde of scoffing speeches,
Would needes request his gowne to line his breeches:
Not so quoth he, but sure twill be thy hap,
That for thy knauish head thou line thy Cap.

209Nil perdit ignotus.

210Ut nascimur, morimur.

When to the world we came, we nought did bring,
Borne therefore first of nought, & nought dying.

211In obitum Promi.

That Death should thus from hence our Butler catch,
Into my minde it cannot quickly sincke,
Sure Death came thirsty to the Buttry Hatch,
When he (that busie was) denid him drincke:
Tut 'twas not so: 'tis like he gaue him liquer,
And Death made drunke, tooke him away the quicker,
Yet let not others grieue too much in minde,
(The Butler gon) the Keyes are left behinde.

212Impar Impares odit.

Sotus hates wisemen (for himselfe is none)
And fooles he hates because himselfe is one.

213Quod nimis, nequicquam.

Creta respects her husband wondrous well,
It needes no proofe, for euery one can tell
How kinde she is, that if I not mistake,
Her loue extends to others for his sake.

214Ignauis stimulum.

Vorax is vext that I thus reprehend him,
Faith if words will not, Silence cannot mend him.